Original subtitles

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How's the angeling going?

Ah, my human is he easiest gig in town.

Wow, you have a full-blown case of the dating jitters.

You need to shake off the rust with a practice guy.

That guy is so not my type.

Seems like a bit of a meathead.

I don't want to be someone's

- practice guy. - Oh, no.

It turns out he's not the practice guy,

he's the guy I've been practicing for.

I'm just saying, if you keep getting involved

in your human's life,

it's gonna blow up in your face.

Don't angel an angel, rookie.

You want to go to a barbecue Sunday?

That'd be great.

What's up, John? Seen Lee?

He ended up in Cedars... psych ward.

Thank you so much for coming, Gavin.

I know a family barbecue's

a bit of an intense first date.

Uh, yeah, actually, I've had this funny feeling

that your brother's been watching me all night.

Hmm?

(mouthing)

Just ignore him.

Well, um...

thanks for having me.

Okay.

All right.

Hmm.

Look at you.

You go to all the trouble to get a date

with a guy who's clearly not your type,

and then you send him away with bluer balls than Gonzo.

- You think I should've... - Walk him to his car,

- you beautiful dumbass. - Okay.

Don't push me.

Oh, oh!

Close the lid, deprive it of oxygen.

Good thinking!

My last boyfriend was a firefighter,

so he kind of drilled it into me.

A firefighter.

Who drilled things into you.

What kind of firefighter was he?

City? County?

Structural? Aircraft?

Actually, a smoke jumper.

Oh, damn. He's a wildlander.

What fires was he active in?

Stanislaus? Marble Cone? Not Big Bar?

How's work, Brad?

Awesome pivot, Dad.

Uh, work is great.

We're starting an internship program.

I'll be meeting

Randy this week.

I'll be slinging some wisdom to that young stud

the same way that Big Ron gave some to me.

R.I.P., bro.

He moved to Tucson. That's a dead market.

Sounds like Big Ron had a big influence on you.

He taught me the difference between a condo and a co-op.

What is the difference?

It's complicated. It's...

There's, like, a lot of, yeah.

And I don't want to make this a work party, so...

Okay. I'm gonna go get another drink.

That's it? You don't have

any more questions about firefighters?

I take risks, right?

Well, you have those pants that zip into shorts.

It takes tremendous courage to wear those.

- All right, we're done here. - Yeah.

Ah, ah, ah.

Time to dish with your angel about your good-night kiss.

We didn't kiss.

It wasn't the right moment. My whole family's here.

Well, don't beat yourself up

- about the non-kiss. - I'm not.

You're still well within what we angels call the �woo.�

Oh, did somebody ask me what the �woo� is?

(chuckles) The �wo�" is an acronym for...

Window of opportunity.

Damn it. Listen.

From what I can tell,

you've got a three-date window of opportunity

for you and Gavin to kiss.

If you miss that, the romance'll fizzle

and it'll never happen for you two.

Not to worry. We're going out again Friday night.

Oh. Friday's bad for me.

- Hmm? - Ah, but I am free...

uh...

oh...

every other day this year.

You do realize you are not invited

on the date with Gavin?

I do now.

Hey, hey, there he is!

My angel in crime.

Oh, man, how was your stint in the nuthouse, huh?

Horrible. They zapped me,

they counseled me, they washed me.

But it wasn't all bad.

I finished a puzzle.

Oh, wow, that's just awesome about the puzzle.

You know, I have had

an awesome two weeks myself.

I am making moves that are blowing my own mind.

- Amy... - Mm-hmm?

- I'm done angeling. - Excuse me?

Yeah. I'm no good at this job.

I'm hanging up my halo.

What? That's crazy talk.

Get your head back in the clouds.

- Ow! - Wow, I'm sorry.

I thought your angel tingle

would tell you that was coming.

No, my tingle's gone.

My instincts are totally shot.

Well, then, how are you angeling Tricia so well?

I haven't been.

Her car got stolen,

she lost her job,

she got bangs.

Bangs, Amy.

With that heart-shaped face?

Yeah, it was a total disaster!

Oh...

It got so bad that I started to think

about all the success that you were having with Allison

since you made yourself visible to her.

Oh, no.

Lee... what did you do?

I revealed myself to my human just like you did.

(gasps)

Oh! Uh...

Look what the big, clumsy oaf did.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Well, that's a very sweet thing to say...

Tricia Robertson.

How do you know my name?

I'm Lee.

And, honey, I'm your guardian angel.

(laughs nervously)

Okay, I am leaving

and you need to stay away from me.

Your parents got divorced 710 days ago.

You have a German Shepherd named Sandy

who doesn't bark at intruders

if you give her pickles.

Where you going? I still have to remind you

where you got your first period! Ooh.

It was at camp.

Okay, I'm not gonna let you quit angeling.

You are too good.

You just lost your confidence.

No. I'm done.

Now, you realize

you'll be losing all your angel powers.

No more invisibility.

No more going to the bathroom only one time a month.

- And I'm okay with that. - (sighs)

I just want to be a regular human

with a regular human job.

What? A job?

Lee, incoming, duck!

Come on. Again?

I literally told you that was coming.

My counselors set me up with a retail position at the mall.

I start tomorrow.

Oh, God...

I'll tell you what.

I could really use your help with Allison.

Come home with me and give me one night

to prove that you are a great angel.

I'm sorry, Amy,

but my mind is made up.

Allison has a toaster.

You could warm up your flip flops.

Fine.

But it's gotta have a bagel setting,

because my flops are thick.

Hey, she's a doctor.

It's got all the bells and whistles.

All right, it's intern time.

Where's my fresh meat, Randy?

Hi. I'm Randy.

This's mother?

Ran-Dog sick or something?

(laughs) No.

I'm �Ran-Dog.�

I know. I'm a little older

than your usual intern,

but I'm ready for a fresh start

after a wonderful career as a school nurse.

Okay. All right, all right.

Ooh... I sent you an e-mail, didn't I?

Yep, I got that.

- Oh, you printed it out. - About this, um,

�ridicky-donk chest bump�

you were gonna teach me...

can you define �ridicky-donk�?

(chuckling): No, I...

we don't have to do the chest bump.

MALE AGENT: Chest bump!

Oh, come on.

I don't want to be treated any differently.

Now, you were the one who said

�the number one rule of real estate,

we could never be giant

female... naughty parts...

because we don't have tiny little male...

- naughty parts.� - I think we don't leave

a paper trail on that. We'll just kind of...

Oh!

Ah. (laughs)

My bosoms

kind of made that weird.

Should we try again?

Oh, I think we got it. Yeah.

AMY: All right, Lee.

Here's the situation, day two of the �woo�,

Allison's second date.

Gavin should be dropping her off any minute now.

Is she going to invite him in?

No. Unfortunately, she's not that kind of gal.

So they're just gonna have sex on the front porch?

No, no. Lee, the target tonight is a first kiss, okay?

Now, can you think of anything

that might encourage that first kiss?

- Oh, I'm so bad at this. - No, no, no.

I wasn't clear. We just need to think

of something romantic on the front porch.

Maybe some light

from the sky?

Bats...

on fire.

So, building on that.

How about moonlight, huh?

- Oh, moonlight! - Yeah!

So much better!

- Yeah! - Oh, oh!

What if you get up on the roof

and you hold out a branch?

And they are bathed in dappled moonlight.

The most romantic of all lights.

And that'll lead them directly to their first kiss.

Oh, that is just genius.

Thanks, man. Come on.

And then the fire bats.

No fire bats, Lee.

Thanks for driving me home.

Thanks for reminding me where you live.

It's the last mistake you'll ever make.

(chuckles) What?

Uh, because you're smart,

and, um, you rarely make mistakes.

I don't want you to think I'm a murderer or anything.

I didn't until just now.

Oh, wow, look at the moon coming through that tree.

(owl hooting)

Come on, Sully Sullenburger,

land that love plane.

(shouts)

(grunts, clattering)

Oh, my gosh! Was that a person?

No!

What, did Gavin just leave with no kiss, again?

Well, it kind of ruined the moment when a strange man

fell off my roof and stumbled into the woods.

You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

No, I swear.

'Cause he looked a lot like your business associate Lee.

I don't enjoy being called a liar.

But I will forgive you if you'll let

my business associate Lee stay with me.

He's already back there.

He's banged up pretty good, Allison.

Well, it doesn't matter.

It was a weird date anyway.

It was very intense.

Oh.

(muttering)

I am tired and sweaty.

And I smell like the old tire we were flipping

over and over and over and over again.

Okay, you guys both suck at coming up with dating ideas.

Your window of opportunity is down to one.

There's no room for error!

I am picking the next activity!

If it's not happening, it's not happening!

Maybe fate has decided it for us.

�Fate�? There is no fate.

I am fate. I am also destiny,

d?j? vu and roller coaster tummy.

And fate... is telling you

you're going to have your first kiss with Gavin

on the most romantic date of all time.

Amy, I don't...

On your sofa, under a blanket,

watching a cooking show.

Oh, that's actually a good idea.

Oh, your hair actually looks good today.

See how that feels?

Hey, babe. (groans)

I was cruising in your hood.

Thought I'd pop by and see if you wanted

to take some risks.

Is this another flea market?

No, it's not another f...

I was thinking maybe we wanted

to put our lives on the line with a hike.

Not just any hike.

An illegal hike up to the Hollywood sign.

How is that gonna be dangerous?

Well, because they'll be nothing between the rattle snakes' fangs

And... my calves.

- (laughs) - Huh?

Sexy.

Wait till you have to help me pull them off.

Over the boot. Now is good, by the way.

- Oh. - A little help.

(laughs): Okay.

All right, Travis.

I am updating the listing right now.

Thank you... No!

You rock out with your... Bye.

Can you walk me through how you updated that listing?

- Sure. - Great.

Eventually, but first,

I have something more important I need from you.

- Is that stuffing more envelopes? - It is stuffing more envelopes.

So, just, uh, check in with me at the end of the day.

Or just go, you know.

Okay.

(whispers): Hey, Clara?

What?

What is the deal with my intern,

Old Mother Hubbard?

It was strange.

They called me last minute from the corporate office

and just added her.

Kind of reminds me of that show Undercover Boss.

That's not what this is. There are no cameras.

I know, but it's a thing companies are doing now.

The CEO dresses up in disguise

and just drops in on random branches.

W-W-Wait, right there.

Click on that pic of our CEO.

Oh, my God.

I bosom-bumped our CEO.

Yeah.

Wow, I am so sore.

That workout was no joke.

Oh, you humans and your workouts.

It's a complete waste of time.

Everybody's death date is predetermined anyway.

Really? So when's mine?

A Tuesday.

And that's all I can tell you.

But, hey, it's a Saturday,

so let's just relax

and focus on getting you that kiss.

Because it could be your last.

That's a total joke.

- Hmm. - (knocking)

All right.

This is the last time you're gonna see me tonight.

Invisibility... on!

- Nope. - Takes about 20 seconds to kick in.

I'll just scurry quickly into the kitchen.

(knocking continues)

(groans)

It's unlocked!

- Hi. - Hi!

Come here, you.

Ah.

I was thinking we could just sit here

on my soft couch and watch some TV.

Take it you're pretty sore from our workout.

Yes.

Even my fingertips are sore.

I cried writing an e-mail.

(both laugh)

Oh, it hurts to flirt.

Parkour!

Pretty impressive, Marv.

They should call it Marv-kour!

Okay.

Here we go.

Good thing you look good in orange,

because our life of crime begins now.

Okay, what is going on with you?

Is this about Raphael?

The smoke jumper's name is �Raphael�?

Are you kidding me?

My name is Marv.

Can we just go get some coffee?

I can have fun with you anywhere.

No, the greater the risk, the greater the reward!

I just thought of a tremendous reward.

Are you talking about intimacy al fresco?

A gentleman only implies.

But...

yes.

Come with me.

- Snake! - Ooh!

Nah, just a stick.

We're good.

(both laughing)

(gasps)

(phone ringing)

Sorry.

No, no, no. Put the phone down.

Hello?

Someone better be dead.

Okay.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Sorry, that was Linda.

The reception was bad, but it sounds like

my dad hurt himself on the hike.

- Is he okay? - I don't know.

- I should probably go check on him. - Yeah.

If I could walk.

I literally broke you on our date.

Let me drive you.

That'd be nice. Thank you.

No, no, no! You can't leave!

Your �woo� will close!

You can't let your �woo� close!

- Stop talking about my �woo�". - Oh, please.

He doesn't know what it means.

Window of opportunity.

Dangnabbit!

We must have a mole.

Oa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What... is my prized intern... doing...

stuffing these envelopes?

Oh, seems like a waste.

A wasted opportunity...

for a lesson.

Which is...

to... sell the earth,

we must first, what?

Save the earth.

Get ready for a lot of those, because from now on,

you're gonna be shadowing me so you can learn

about all the amazing things we do in this office.

(phone rings)

Brad Fuller's office.

Oh, my gosh, I'll tell him right away.

It's your sister.

Apparently, your dad hurt himself on a hike.

Don't care. Only thing that matters in life is this company.

That's not true, it's family.

That was a test, you passed.

Saddle up, shadow.

We're gonna get our family on.

Oh, my gosh, I love this look.

Listen, I screwed up.

I screwed up bad.

I still haven't been able to get

Allison and Gavin to seal it with a smooch,

and I fear time is running out.

Amy, I am out of the game.

And I have a huge pastel color wheel test at 4:00.

We moved that up to 3:00.

Damn it. Amy, can you just say what you need to say

and then teach me 63 shades of pink?

Okay, well, I've just been thinking

that I might as well stop angeling too.

- What? - Where can I get an

application for this place?

And I think I'd be really good at this job.

Hey, lady.

Petites are over here.

Big girl, over there.

Don't do that.

This reverse psychology stuff isn't gonna work on me.

I just spent the last two weeks

with some of the best psychologists

the state can afford, I know all the tricks.

All right, fine.

The real reals?

Angeling is a tough and lonely job,

and even though we've only known each other

for a few centuries...

Yeah, you've always been clearer on the timeline than me.

It's been so nice having a friend like you in the trenches,

just somebody to talk to when I get stuck.

And right now, man, I am stuck.

My human is about to blow a chance

at not just romance with Gavin,

but an awesome and expansive life,

and I am out of ideas.

Oh, Lee, I need you.

Okay, fine, I'll come and help you.

But after that, you have to let me live my life the way I want,

as a likely employee of the month.

PJ, I'm taking my third lunch.

Okay, Dad, don't worry.

The glue that holds this family together

and leads the greater Hancock Park area in home sales is here.

Now you have a 50-year-old friend, too?

What's happening with my kids?!

Uh, no, this is Randy, my intern.

Although I have learned, uh, just as much from her

- as she has from me. (chuckles) - Well...

Dad, what exactly happened?

I tweaked my back, it doesn't matter how.

Can someone please drive me home in my car?

Dad, Allison can't diagnose you if you're not being honest

with the details.

See, honesty, is the, uh, foundation

for success in sales.

And �diagnosises�".

Fine, we were hiking, and I fell. Can we go now?

Linda, did you fall too? You have a leaf in your hair.

- What? - No, no.

Uh, when she was trying to help me up,

she-she fell on top of me.

And then under me, um...

It was a hill.

Why is your shirt turned inside out?

I want to thank you for stopping by, Randy.

Oh, wait, you guys were, uh...

Ugh.

(groans) Oh.

Okay, we were trying to have sex outside,

and I hurt my back.

Now somebody take me home,

or I'm gonna start telling you the details!

- Okay, yeah, let's go. - Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, we're still in the �woo�, but only by a technicality, Lee.

So if we want to get those kids to lip-lock,

we're gonna have to make this

the most romantic situation possible.

(clicks tongue) Well, there's always...

Uh, no, never mind, it's a... dumb idea.

Again, no dumb ideas.

Except for the fire bats.

That was a massive humdinger. (chuckles)

Rain is romantic.

Aah, see? Ugh, stupid.

No, that's not stupid.

In fact, it's a hell of a sexy idea,

but, you see, there's just not a cloud in the sky.

And you know it takes at least four weeks

to get approved for a cloud burst.

- I think I remember that. - Yeah.

Ugh, there's got to be another way.

Lee?

Are you okay?

You're not peeing again, are you?

I'm tingling.

That's what I'm asking you.

No, my angel tingle, it's back.

(gasping): Oh.

I think I know what to do.

(gasping): Oh.

Lee, no!

It seems like this, uh, romantic rain moment

is begging for something.

- (laughs) - Oh, my God!

How good was that?!

That's what I'm talking about!

Sir, you've been in an accident.

I'm gonna check your vitals.

Can you wiggle your toesies?

Wait, you really were a school nurse.

Of course.

- Ow. - Oh, my God.

You're not the CEO.

No, I'm your intern.

I just wanted to make a fresh start,

but so far I haven't learned a ridicky-donk thing.

I know, I am so sorry, I am so s...

I have been a horrible mentor.

And I know the importance of fresh starts.

Randy, I promise you,

I am going to make you the best realtor in LA.

Aw, thanks, Brad.

But can we do this in a second?

I keep losing count on this pulse.

Sure.

I'm really sorry for acting weird today.

Idea of you dating a firefighter really got into my head.

Dating Rafael was fine, but he never made me laugh.

And, sure, he has a heroic job,

but you've now saved my life more times than he ever did.

Ah.

Maybe not, uh, the best time to tell you.

I was actually trying to dive past you.

(chuckles)

Oh, man.

We slipped right in that �woo�, huh?

And look at you.

Look at your impact.

You just gave three people life moments with your actions.

You know, I don't mean to get technical on you here,

but that's what we call a �Tri-Angel�"

(chuckles) I've never done a Tri-Angel before.

- Is that a record? - Well, it would have been

if I hadn't just hit a grand slam

and helped all of them and you get back your angel groove.

- (whoops) - (sighs)

Speaking of which, I got to go find Tricia,

if she's not dead or even worse...

rocking pigtails.

Hey, maybe just don't talk to her again, you know?

Stick to what you're good at, lurking in the shadows

and occasionally running in front of a moving vehicle.

That is my wheelhouse.

LEE: Invisibility on!

(clicks tongue)

All right, big day today, Rand-Dog.

Lots of open houses, but first of all,

I would like to give you something

that my mentor, Big Ron, gave to me,

so you'll always know it's selling time.

Aw... (chuckles)

Oh, look.

There's an inscription.

I'd forgotten about that.

Oh, my, that's a lot of cuss words.

- Yeah. - I don't even know what that is.

That's an etching of male genita... naughty parts.

You know what, you'll be getting your own watch.

Oh, good, because that tiny little ding-a-ling

- couldn't satisfy me. - Ah...

They don't call me �Randy� for nothing.

- Ah, she's in. - Chest bump.

- Still not sure about this. - (grunts)

Oh, wow, lot of rebound.

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