Original subtitles

ANDI: Previously on Andi Mack...

- I'm sorry. - For what?

That was terrible.

- It'll get better. - No, it won't.

Can I ask you something? You seem to know Bowie.

It's just 'cause I was thinking I'd like to ask him out.

Saw you at The Spoon with some person I didn't know

and I thought, "Hmm, I wonder who that person is with Jonah."

She's just a friend.

- I made a friend today. - Everybody's making friends.

I'm looking for Jonah Beck.

Oh, I thought he was with you.

I thought he was with you.

He said he had to go to some sing-along thing.

He did?

Didn't you get my text?

No.

"I'm here, where are you?"

I'm here too.

Look back, grab your left foot with your left hand...

BEX: Oh! Ow! That's impossible.

- (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) - No one is that bendy.

ANDI: We shouldn't have started with level nine.

Push up, bend your knees, grab your feet.

- BEX: Oh, no! Ugh! - ANDI: That is not happening.

ANDI: My body can't do that.

INSTRUCTOR: Elbows touch.

Legs down on the exhale, slowly.

Good sesh.

- Lower down. - Level Ten?

- Crow Pose. - BOTH: Oh! Nope.

? I'm standin' on the edge ?

? And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away ?

? Life is upside down ?

? But any way it goes I'll work it out ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Here we go ?

- ? One, two, three ? - ? I'm ready for tomorrow ?

? Tomorrow starts today ?

? There ain't a map to follow ?

? But I'm with you all the way ?

- ? I'm ready for tomorrow ? - ? Hey ?

- ? Tomorrow starts today ? - ? Hey ?

? There ain't a map to follow ?

- ? But I'm with you all the way ? - ? Hey ?

? All the way ?

synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com*

I can do this all day.

I haven't had anything to drink,

so I won't have to go to the bathroom until tomorrow.

I play winner.

Play me now.

Now, while I have you here...

Okay, while you have each other.

Stop trying to distract us.

Let me just put this

non-distracting flier where you can see it.

Behold! The Renaissance Faire is here. Huzzah!

You go to that?

'Tis a day of gambols and mirth.

And despite all that,

it's actually really fun.

Forsooth,

'tis an annual tradition for me and mine merry folk.

Pace yourself, Cyrus.

The Renaissance Faire? I don't know...

They have over-sized turkey legs.

Now we're talking.

Shall we say

RenFaire drawbridge at dawn?

We can say 2:30.

So be it. Mm.

CYRUS: Huzzah!

- (FORK CLATTERS) - I'm stuffed.

I bring you to an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast

and all you can eat is one?

And a half.

Well, get comfortable because all I can eat is a lot.

Oh, hold on.

Ooh! Is that your license?

Wait.

I just want to look at your picture.

Look at you, you're adorable.

How old were you?

- Bowie! - What?

Today is your birthday.

It is?

Why didn't you say anything?

(SIGHS) Look, it's no big deal.

I just don't like announcing, "Hey, it's my day. Celebrate me.

Buy me presents. Sing to me."

(SCOFFS) Why not?

It's the one day a year where you get to be extra special.

Well, I don't need that.

What are you doing today?

All-you-can-eat pancakes with my daughter.

Besides this?

I have a shift later at Judy's Blooms.

(SCOFFS) Ooh! I have an idea!

You should come to RenFaire with me.

You can be king for a day.

(CHUCKLES) Because I don't need to be king for a day at RenFaire.

Watch this.

(DEEP, LOUD VOICE): More pancakes!

(REGULAR VOICE): And a little bit more coffee, please?

Today's his birthday?

Did I know that?

I don't think I knew that.

Because he refuses to celebrate it.

He doesn't feel the need to celebrate it.

(SIGHS) Sometimes he can be so Bowie.

But... we're gonna celebrate it!

We're throwing him a surprise party!

Great idea.

Do you want to have it here?

We should do it at Cece and Pops'.

It'll be a surprise for them too.

Okay, so we need cake, we need streamers, we need...

somebody to do all of this because I'm going to RenFaire.

No, no. It's okay. I'll just skip it this year.

No, go!

I can handle this.

Okay, but this has to be next level.

Um, excuse me,

which one of us threw a party that was off the chain?

Okay, so the fact that you just said "off the chain,"

worries me.

How about off the hook?

Off the charts?

It's gotta be off something, right?

Okay, so let's just agree

that you're good at planning parties,

but not so good at describing them?

So, I'm throwing him this

surprise party tonight and you both have to be there.

We will be.

I'm a big fan of the birthday blindside.

For future reference,

you two might want to remember that about me.

We know that about you.

But it's impossible to surprise someone

who's constantly asking to be surprised.

I'm gonna cut out a little early from the Faire

so I can help set up.

You guys can both be there by 7:00.

Be where?

Oh, hey! Cece and Pops' house.

I'm throwing Bowie a surprise birthday party tonight.

Doshe!

Oh, come here. I need a picture with you.

- What for? - (CAMERA CLICKS)

My mom. I want to show her who I beat arm wrestling.

No, don't smile, look defeated.

Oh.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

So, when is your mom coming home?

I have no idea.

Let's go back to talking about Bowie's birthday.

Forsooth! I enlighten thee with yon truth.

Birthdays were not celebrated duringst medieval times.

Nor did most commoners

have a sense of day or annum of their birth.

We should get him in there before his head explodes.

Yeah, all right, come on. (CHUCKLES)

(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHTER)

Behold, the Renaissance Faire!

In all its glory!

Let's get our mirth on!

Ooh, no one would know this was your first Faire.

No, no. First thing's first. First thing's first.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

? We are wonderful ?

Huzzah!

? We are wonderful ?

? We've made ourselves invincible ?

? We're flying high and we can't look down ?

Thank you.

? We are wonderful ?

? We are wonderful ?

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

? Hey ?

? We are wonderful ?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

? Hey ?

? We are wonderful ?

Mm. Mm.

ALL: Huzzah!

? Come on, come on ?

(RENFAIRE MUSIC RESUMES)

The victor!

Hear ye, lords and ladies.

Who amongst thee dare'st be next

to proveth thy mettle?

Dost I have any volunteers?

Ready?

? ?

BARKER: Begin!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

- (BUFFY GASPS) - (CROWD GASPS)

- (CROWD GASPS) - (JONAH GASPS)

- (BUFFY GASPS) - (CROWD GASPS)

(CROWD GASPS)

I could've been verbal sparring with the King's fool all this time.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

It's from Bex.

ANDI: I gotta go get ready for the party.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS)

Hi, Cyrus.

Iris.

What good fortune to cast mine eyes upon thee.

The fortune tis all mine, sweet maiden.

(WATER SPRAYING)

(BEX PANTING)

Oh, Bowie. There you are.

- So glad I found you. - Well, here I am, hiding at work.

Everything okay?

Yes. Uh, actually, no.

Uh... Celia has a plant emergency

that she needs you to take care of.

Really? Why didn't she just call me?

Enough with the questions. Am I on trial here?

I just need to get you there.

Okay, okay.

What exactly is the problem? So I know what to bring.

Um, there's like this, uh, bulge...

- Bulge? - ...uh, on a tree.

- Really? - And, uh, there's this tree pus.

- Sap? Mm. - Sap, yes, that's it.

And... And spores. Oh, so many spores.

You're such a terrible liar.

(SCOFFS) Hey!

I am a great liar.

I kept a secret baby from you for 13 years.

(HOSE STOPS)

Is this about my birthday?

It's your birthday? What?

Okay, yes, it's about your birthday.

Bex, look.

As long as it's not a surprise party. Okay?

(CHUCKLES) It's a surprise party, isn't it?

Surprise!

Surprise!

Okay, I appreciate the thought.

It was Andi's thought.

She wanted to do something nice for you.

Look, I... I can't go.

I'm sorry, I... I just can't.

Bowie, can you tell me what's really going on?

Because I don't buy that this is all because

you hate the idea of birthdays.

I don't hate the idea of them.

I just hate the idea of mine.

Was it always like that?

No.

(SIGHS)

My dad and I share the same birthday.

We'd always spend it together.

We'd go out on a boat and fish.

Neither of us would catch anything.

So we'd end up eating store-bought seafood.

And talking about

how the next year,

the fish would definitely bite.

Sounds really nice.

Yeah, it was great.

Anyway, he passed away three years ago.

Oh, no.

Bowie, I'm so sorry.

And ever since then, I just haven't felt like celebrating.

Not on our special day, at least.

It just... hasn't felt right.

Look, I... I totally understand.

I really do.

And you should be able to spend today however you want.

I will say

you may not have your dad

but you do have a daughter

who wants to make special memories with her dad.

And right now, she's waiting for you to show up

at a party that she planned because she loves her father

as much as you loved yours.

That doesn't feel so bad, does it?

No, it doesn't.

(CHUCKLES)

You're right. Of course you're right.

Hey, a broken clock is still a great paper weight.

Or however that goes.

Thanks.

So, should we get going?

Ah, mm. No.

We still have a bunch of time to kill.

I thought it would take longer to convince you.

M'lady, I must beg thou forbearance with my lowly self.

'Twas naught. 'Twas naught.

Forsooth, I...

Iris, I... I can't do this

when I have something I really need to say.

Okay.

I've never met, and I never thought that I would meet,

someone so much like myself.

And if I did meet them, I never thought that I'd like them.

But...

You like me, but you don't like me like that.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

I'm new at this, but I think this is the part

where I ask if we could still be friends?

And this is the part where I say sure.

Seems fated we should cross paths anon.

Perhaps, sayeth, PaleoCon?

A fortnight past, I acquired my billets.

You got billets already?

I didn't even think they were for sale yet.

'Twas a fortunate happenstance...

Whoa, whoa! Speak English! I need those tickets.

Closing time. I need my boxes.

Okay, Buffy, let's just call it a draw.

No way. Driscoll doesn't draw.

Fine. You win.

No, you don't.

- Pick up that rope. - Pfft.

Okay, I win. Can we go home now?

That wasn't fair.

Pick an ending, any ending.

You're not taking this seriously.

And it's serious.

Is it? Or is it just a rope and two boxes?

Why is winning so important to you?

It just is.

But nobody was even watching. What are you trying to prove?

That I'm strong.

I have to be strong.

Because that's what I promise my mom every time she gets deployed.

She always says, "Be strong, Buffy."

So I am.

You ready?

Yeah, I think so.

Okay, let's see your surprise face.

My what?

Your surprise face.

This party lives and dies

on your ability to look

genuinely surprised when you walk through that door.

How hard can it be to look surprised?

Well, we're about to find out.

(GASPS)

Well, does that look surprised or what?

Yeah, surprised to find a dead body in your trunk.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not an actor.

No kidding.

Then help me.

Just... don't try so hard.

Act like a normal human being would

if he walked into a room filled with his friends and family.

Yeah, do that.

Okay.

(DOOR OPENS)

- ALL: Surprise! - (NOISEMAKERS)

What? Just what I wanted! Clones!

Nailed it.

Are you kidding me, Bex? A surprise party?

Too much.

Happy birthday!

(CHEERS)

Happy birthday!

(ALL CHANTING): Bowie! Bowie! Bowie! Bowie!

Bowie! Bowie!

- ? Of color and sound ? - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

? It's my birthday ?

? Whenever you're around ?

? In my darkness ?

? You make me glow ?

- (VOCALIZING) - ? It feels good ?

? Like I knew it would ?

? It feels good ?

? Like I knew it would ?

- Uh... - Okay, two words. Two words.

Oh! The universe!

Wait for the clue.

? All the games we play ?

Grease mobile!

- Yes! - Yes!

Yes!

What is that?

- It's his car. - (SIGHS) This game is rigged.

I don't know enough about you.

You're making a mistake.

He's going to crush you.

Bring it on.

First one.

(SCOFFS) You want to challenge me? Please?

Apple.

Is that your final answer?

Yes, because it's the right one.

- Pink Lady. - Ding! Ding, ding, ding, ding!

What? No, no, wait. That's just another name for apple.

? Like I knew you would ?

? Oh, you know it feels good, feels good, feels good ?

? Oh, you know it feels good ?

? Oh, you know it feels good, feels good, feels good ?

- (ALL SHOUTING) - Two words, two words.

- Two words! - Um...

- (CHATTERING) - Oh, it's the universe!

- Oh! - Yes!

It was bound to come up sometime.

(LAUGHS)

Okay, last one.

Red velvet.

Uh... Hmm, that's birthday candle.

- Yeah, Pops! You got it right. - Huh? Haha! Yeah!

That's red... Aw!

- (LAUGHING) - Hello!

Is that my birthday cake?

No, but this is.

? Happy ?

BEX AND ANDI: ? Birthday to you ?

ALL: ? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday dear Bowie ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

(CHEERS)

(CHEERS)

Whoo!

(NOISEMAKER)

This is from me, Buffy, and Cyrus.

Sorry, we didn't have a lot of time to shop.

Oh.

Just what I've always wanted.

- (LAUGHTER) - What?

Oh, man!

ALL: No!

Oh! No!

(EVERYONE GROANS)

So good.

(EVERYONE GROANS)

- (LAUGHTER) - Okay, my turn, my turn.

Okay.

Celia, is this what I think it is?

Some thorny sticks with leaves?

No, it's... it's a cutting from your prize-winning rose bush.

The first cutting I've ever given.

I am trusting you not to dilute the lineage.

So, did you enjoy your birthday?

For the first time in a long time,

I actually did.

Can't believe you did this for me.

Why not?

Because nobody ever has before.

Hey, I love you.

I love you too, Dad.

You've never called me dad before.

Well, it just felt right tonight.

(CHUCKLES) I know there's no way for you to know this,

but that's the best gift you could have ever given me.

? No, I've never seen nothing like you ?

? No one else makes me feel like you do ?

? Yeah ?

synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com*

ANDI: Next on Andi Mack...

Doctor Metcalf!

He wants me to star in some video thing

- for the school website. - Action!

Here's where you're gonna be spending most of your time

in middle school: your locker.

(GRUNTS)

Let's try some pre-algebra.

You think I'm stupid?

I never said that.

Well, I am.

- (PHONE VIBRATES) - Oh, I gotta get this.

- Be right back. - Are you seeing someone?

Okay, so you know.

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