Original subtitles

Previously on Andi Mack:

I saw Amber in the park with someone else.

- She was? - Tell the truth.

Why would I lie about seeing you with another guy?

Because you like Jonah.

- Do you know who my dad is? - Yes, but...

His daughter wants to know him.

I don't want to write him.

Ham: This is his e-mail.

- (doorbell rings) - Bex!

- Oh, hey, Mrs. Mack. - (whimpers)

Andi...

This is your dad.

Bex: Bowie.

Bowie: It's just blowing my mind. It...

This is for real.

I have a kid...

who's... already a teenager?

Don't feel bad. She didn't tell me either.

This whole time, I thought she was my sister.

Mack!

That is whack.

Whack-adactyl, yo.

I mean, double-whacker with cheese.

Whack to the future.

Yo, check it!

Fruit of my looms!

Oh, this moment is far worse than I ever imagined.

So, Bowie... (chuckles)

...are you still playing drums?

And some guitar too.

I'm about to go on tour.

Do you know Renaissance Boys?

You're in Renaissance Boys?

Yeah, just filling in for one of the boys,

but I'm psyched to be playing with a

band people have actually heard of.

I've totally heard of them.

That is so cool!

Hey...

Would it be okay if I borrowed Andi today?

You know, we could hang out, get to know each other.

Yes, yes, yes.

Please, please,

- please? - Absolutely not.

Get ready, you're going to school.

Please, please, please?

What is he doing here? Did you summon him?

Sum...

Yes. I said his name three times in front of a mirror.

No. Uh... This is on me.

I gave Bex his e-mail

and suggested that she reach out to him.

Bowie: Ham and I are Facepage buds.

- (laughs) - Heh, yeah!

I'm sorry.

I...

I should've told you.

- No, no... no. - I... I...

She's gonna be okay.

There's a distinct possibility, though, she may start, uh...

- (door slams) - ...pruning.

- Ah... - (sighs)

There she goes.

You know what?

Um, maybe school isn't such a bad idea.

(theme music playing)

I'm standing on the edge

And everything I know-oh-oh

Has blown away

Life is upside down

But any way it go-o-oes

I'll work it out

Oh oh oh oh oh

Here we go

One, two, three!

I'm ready for tomorrow

Tomorrow starts today

There ain't a map to follow

But I'm with you all the way

I'm ready for tomorrow

Tomorrow starts today

There ain't a map to follow

But I'm with you all the way

All the way

(sighs)

What are you doing here?

Isn't today your fake sick day?

Yeah, well, things at home went from fake sick to real crazy.

You guys won't believe what happened.

You won't believe what happened.

It's a good thing you're here.

We have news.

So do I.

Ours is bigger.

That's literally impossible.

Both: Jonah and Amber broke up!

For real.

You're sure?

It was confirmed by three sources,

and one of them was Jonah.

He's a free agent.

Aren't you glad you came to school today?

It probably doesn't mean anything for me.

But what if it does?

He could be with anyone he wanted.

But what if it's me?

I think it's you.

Why?

(pop music playing)

No room for one mistake

Sometimes it's hard to get it right

I don't have the time to wait

Because my stars are perfectly aligned

Some people even say

That I seem a little bit uptight

I need to talk to you.

- Okay. - Andi...

Bowie: Andi!

- There she is! - Who's that?

It doesn't matter. What were you going to say?

I'll tell you later.

Okay.

Here she is. My kid, Andi Mack.

Well, I've spoken with your mom...

- Which one? - ...and your dad...

The biological one, I believe.

So, Bex is your mother,

and she says that this is your father...

Bowie.

Bowie Quinn.

And she's given permission for the two

of you to spend the day together.

I understand that this is a time of

transition for you and your family,

and we just want to be as supportive as we possibly can.

Both: Thanks, Ms. Dullridge.

It's like how pythons unhinge their jaws

to swallow their entire prey.

I mean, that's what my brain had to do this morning.

Well, their jaws don't actually unhinge,

but I get your point.

I mean, yesterday, I was just "Bowie."

Today, I'm "Bowie... with child."

Did you even want kids?

And, yes, I realize this is an awkward question,

- especially coming from your kid. - (chuckles)

I never really thought about it, to be honest,

but the universe did. You know, the universe knew.

The universe always knows.

We're gonna have the best father and daughter day ever!

- Are you stoked? - You bet, but...

But I probably shouldn't miss the whole day of school.

- (laughs) - What?

Don't take this wrong, but you've got a lot of Celia in you.

I mean, you've got this whole type A thing going on.

You know, you need a little bit more of what I've got.

You know, like a type-Bowie thing going on.

Live in the moment.

(sniffs)

Do you smell french fries?

Oh, that's my car. It's a grease mobile.

Oh.

Runs on used vegetable oil from restaurants.

No way!

Free fuel, great mileage, and most importantly,

it reduces my carbon footprint on this beautiful planet.

- I'm all about carbon footprints. - What?

I made this bracelet from used soda tabs.

You and me are on like the same brain-length!

I know.

So, what do you say?

Let's make like a check and bounce!

(chuckles)

Have you seen her?

No, have you?

If I'd seen her, I wouldn't have asked if you'd seen her.

Really? They're not mutually exclusive.

Cyrus! I need to know what happened with Jonah!

Where are you?

(phone chirps and buzzes)

Buffy: "Had to leave school."

What did Jonah want?

(phone chirps)

This is taking forever!

(phone chirps)

"I don't know."

(phone chirps and buzzes)

"Can you find out?"

Can we find out?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

We will not meddle.

What do you mean? We're her best friends.

It's in our job description.

We're on it.

Oh. Can you just be on it?

- My blood sugar is kind of low. - (phone chirps)

Eat an apple.

We're putting the pedal... come on... to the "meddle."

(whimpers)

Everything good?

Oh, yeah. I just had to take care of something.

If I ask you a question, would you be completely honest?

I'll try.

Complete honesty doesn't really run in the family.

(chuckles)

Am I what you were hoping for?

Well, this is what I was hoping for.

- To meet you and... - Wait, wait, wait! Stop, stop.

I have a genius idea.

- Right. - Okay.

Today, I became a father,

and this is my beautiful little girl.

Hi.

She's shy.

Are you shy?

I don't know very much about her...

You know what?

This would be a lot better if we had something fun to do.

What do you want to do?

Oh, anything!

Me too!

You know... (exhales)

Universe...

do you have any suggestions?

(inhales)

(exhales)

Mmm...

Maybe the universe has other things...

- Shh! Shh! - ...she needs to do.

Do you hear that?

Hear what?

- (drums playing faintly) - Come on!

(playing rhythmically)

- Seren-dopity, am I right? - It's great!

Come on.

Come on, sit down.

I don't even know how to play.

You're my kid!

You know how to play.

Ready?

One, two...

One, two...

There you go. There you go!

Yeah, all right!

(playing rhythmically)

Bowie: See?

Nice!

Woo! Yeah!

We're not actually going to play soccer, are we?

Because, I didn't bring my inhaler.

We're just here to talk to Jonah.

Okay, good. So, what's the plan?

What do you mean, plan?

You know, like, good cop, bad cop.

How about, talking cop, stay-here cop?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

We need to think this through.

If I was him...

Oh, it would be so great if I was him.

Where was I? Right.

I just think he'd be a little more comfortable

talking to another, uh... dude.

And, where are we going to find one?

Mmm.

These are fantastic.

They're my favorite.

I'm going to go see if I can get a bucket

of the vegetable oil they used to make these things.

For the grease-mobile.

Exact-a-mundo.

(chuckles)

(phone chirps)

(phone chirps)

(loud crash)

Bowie Quinn for the win!

Jonah: Hey, Cyrus.

Is this your gym class?

Maybe. Yeah, I'm checking it out.

(exhales)

So, uh...

Whassup? (pops lips)

Nada.

Really?

So you're doing okay with the breakup?

Come on, brah... (taps bench)

...let me in.

You got your eye on anyone else?

Not really.

I don't like talking about this stuff.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Me neither, man.

But, I mean, if we were the kind of guys

who liked to talk about this stuff...

who would we be talking about?

I don't know if I really want a girlfriend right now.

Whoa, whoa! JB, JB, JB!

I hear ya, man.

But is that really what your heart is saying?

'Cause I think your heart is saying something

that wants to come out of your mouth.

I don't want to get hurt again.

You won't.

You're Jonah Beck.

You're right.

I was second-guessing myself.

I know what to do now. Thanks, man.

You want to play?

Ah, you know what? I'm kind of leaning more towards lacrosse.

What did he say?

Andi is going crazy.

Listen, I put the ball on the tee,

Andi just has to knock it out of the park.

Have you not played any sport since T-ball?

Let's just say, she's going to be very happy.

What's up?

Nothing.

It's just...

- school's almost over, so... - Hmm.

Psst.

Don't tell anyone but, um...

school will still be there tomorrow.

You know, English, Math...

those other ones.

(chuckles)

Those aren't the ones I'm worried about.

You're worried?

- No! No, not... worried. - Yes, you are.

I can see it.

What's going on at school?

Mmm... uh...

There's, um, a...

boy?

A boy?

Maybe?

Then what the heck are we still doing here?

Come on, let's make like a check and bounce!

Just a saying. I'm paying with cash.

Come on!

Oh, wait.

Is he here? Can I meet him?

No!

I... I mean, it's a delicate situation.

Understood.

Go forth.

The boy's crazy if he doesn't like you back.

Thanks.

Maybe we could do something tomorrow?

I can't.

I'm headed to Memphis tonight. Got a gig.

Oh. After that?

Well, it's a 40-city tour,

and it's gonna be pretty epic.

But that's why I was all about spending today with you.

- You know? - Uh, I...

I don't have to go.

Andi, follow your heart.

Right? That's what I'd do.

(chuckles)

(laughs) You know...

I'm not even going to film this goodbye,

even though I'm dying to.

(both chuckle)

I really liked meeting you.

Same.

Go, go. Get outta here.

Okay.

Goodbye, baby girl.

(indistinct conversation)

'Cause I ain't getting over

I ain't getting over you

You said your conversation with Jonah worked,

but he's back with Amber.

What did you say?

I told him to trust his instincts.

Well, that was stupid.

You know what was stupid? Putting pedal to the "meddle."

Which I didn't want to do in the first place!

What are we going to tell Andi?

The correct answer is: nothing.

No, that's not right. We have to.

(door bells tinkling)

She's got enough going on in her life.

We take this secret to the grave.

Hi, Andi.

Jonah and Amber, back together. Are you kidding me?

How did this happen?

No idea.

Did you find out what he was going to ask me?

Listen, Andi, about that...

Where were you all this time?

I was with my dad. I met my dad.

That's what I was going to tell you this morning.

- You met your dad? - Your dad?

He just showed up on our doorstep this morning.

He didn't even know he had a kid.

Wow, Andi.

Your life just keeps getting crazier.

No, but he was really happy when he found out about me.

I mean, like, really happy.

What's he like?

He's a really cool guy.

He has a car that runs on vegetable oil.

In fact, right now, it's running on baby tater oil.

And he taught me how to play the bongos.

Guys, I can play the bongos!

So everything turned out to be a great day after all.

That's the moral of this story.

It was great.

But then he had to go, and now he's gone.

And Jonah's back with Amber, so he's gone too.

They're both gone.

(whispers) To the grave.

We're going to need another round.

Bex: So did you like him?

Andi: I did.

I do.

But you know what I realized?

The whole reason why he came here was to see you.

I mean, he didn't even know I existed.

But you didn't really get to hang out with him, did you?

- That's okay. - Really?

Because...

I can see why you liked him.

Oh, can you?

Yeah, I mean, he's different...

unpredictable,

in a good way.

And I didn't know what was going to happen next,

but I knew that it would be fun.

All very true.

(chuckles)

So, tell me the story. How did you guys meet?

Such a cliche. He was in a band.

- He wrote a song about me. - He did?

Which they played at their shows.

He said it was going to be on their first album,

but they never made an album.

I wish I'd known. I would have asked him to play it for me.

Next time.

Do you think there will be a next time?

I want to say yes...

but I don't know.

Like you said,

unpredictable.

Yours looks so much better than mine.

(laughs)

You got over-excited.

You don't have to use every color.

(chuckles)

But you know what? It's just tape.

You can always take it off and start over again.

Or you could give me yours,

and make a new one for yourself 'cause you're so good at it.

Nope, but I'll help you.

(giggling)

I want this one.

(laughs)

- Mine. (laughs) - (laughs)

You know what I really want to learn to do, is sew.

Oh, you should.

Just not on Cristiano.

- Who's that? - My sewing machine.

You named your sewing machine Cristiano?

He's Italian.

But you can use my old pink one, if you want.

Let me guess. Pinky?

That is a ridiculous name for a sewing machine.

You're a ridiculous name for a sewing machine.

- (shrieking) - Hey!

I love your guest house!

Bex: Bowie?

(laughs)

- What's he doing? - (chuckles)

Next on Andi Mack:

I'm glad he's here.

Andi: But he has to talk to everybody,

and he won't stop filming me.

I need a break.

It's from Jonah Beck.

- Do you think I'm girly? - Calm down.

Easy for you to say, nobody's calling you girly.

I want to be a part of your lives.

- How? You live on the road. - I can do something else.

Buffy: I did a good job. You're my creation.

Cyrus Two-Point-Bro.

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