All language subtitles for American Housewife s02e19 Its Hard to Say Goodbye.eng

Who's up for Chinese checkers?

Oh, half the marbles are missing.

Everyone, spread out
and find a suitable replacement

for the red and white ones.

And a suitable replacement
for a pet in this house.

Something snobby and purebred,
with lots of health issues

so it dies before I get bored with it.

[OINKING]

You hurt his feelings!

Don't you have a heart?

He does, and it's just covered
under layers of snark.

Taylor, it's game night.
Do you want to join us?

[CHUCKLES] Don't be ridiculous.

I'm going downtown with my friends.

Have fun with your little games.

I do not like what our nice,
fun-loving Taylor has become

since she started hanging out
with these popular girls.

This is the way she walks around school

with her stuck-up friends...

- Excellent pantomime work.
- Mm-hmm.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Spencer!

I've got big news!

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Ta-da!

Please tell me this has
nothing to do with Viagra.

No, my house-arrest ankle
bracelet isn't beeping anymore.

That's because I don't have one.

I'm a free man!

Congratulations!

Tomorrow we golf. You got clubs?

No.

I'm buying you clubs.
Can I buy him clubs?

- Um...
- I'm buying you clubs!

You know, you got a good kid here.

A true friend, which is hard to find.

Because when you're rich,

people are always trying
to get close to you.

Biggie called it...
mo money, mo problems.

Oliver, be ready.

I got us a tee time...
9:00 a.m., Longshore.

- You got golf shoes?
- No.

I'm buying you golf shoes.

I'm buying him golf shoes!

Ha-ha!

You hear what he said?

I'm a good kid.

Yeah, I'm not buyin' it.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

?

Hey, Taylor. You're home early.

- [GROANS]
- Something wrong?

No! Why does something
always have to be wrong?

And why are you guys always
in my business?

I just want to be left alone!

God!!

[STOMPING]

Such a fun age.

Come on, let's go talk to her.

She said she wants to be left alone.

I want to be left alone
all the time, Greg,

but nobody listens to me.

So, what's going on?

Everything is fine.

It's perfect.

I love my life, okay?

The only reason why I'm getting
misty right now

is because I look at my life
and I think,

"Wow, it's so beautiful!" Now get out!

Something is obviously wrong.

And we're not leaving until
we find out what it is.

You won't understand!

- Try us.
- Mm-hmm.

We were at Tom Garrity's house
just hanging out,

and I went to talk to Summit,
Zola, and Londyn,

but they kept ignoring me
and walked away.

So I followed them and I tried
talking to them again,

but they just kept ditching me.

And then when I asked them why,

Summit said they're reevaluating
their friend group.

What does that even mean?

She's right, I don't understand.

It means I'm out.

I left my old friends
to be with my new friends,

and now my new friends don't want me.

I have no one.

- You always have us.
- Oh, Greg.

Is that what you think of me?

That I'm just some loser whose
only friends are her parents?

- No, I...
- Taylor, I understand.

Don't even!

Maybe in the 1900s something
like this happened to you.

But it's different now.

You don't know what I'm going through

and don't say you do because you don't!

She stormed out of her own room.

I wonder when she's gonna realize...

Get out!

Reevaluate their friend group? [SIGHS]

- Hans Gruber, how'd you get up there?
- [OINKS]

Greg, there's something I really
need you to understand...

from now on, that one's your pillow.

I'll get him down.

And then you'll change the sheets.

- Yes.
- Like, really change them.

Actually get the elastic
under the mattress

so it doesn't slip out

and I dream I'm caught in a fishing net.

I got it.

Hans Gruber, get down.

Get down. Come on. [PATTING KNEES]

- [OINKS]
- Come on. Good boy. Good boy.

- [OINKS]
- [GERMAN ACCENT] Gruber.

Gruber, get down.

Come on, come on. [SNORTING]

Come on. [SNORTING]

- Mnh-mnh.
- Come on.

[SLOWLY] Come down.

Yeah, Greg, that's why
the 400-pound farm animal

won't get off our comforter...
Enunciation.

?

That pig has got to go.

I know! But what do I do?
I can't sell him for meat.

Anna-Kat considers him family.

I give to this charity that lets animals

safely live out the rest
of their lives on a farm.

You could bring him there.

Is that one of your
"date a woman, dump her,

but then support her charities

so you don't seem like a monster" deals?

Yes. But if they don't have a charity,

then they get a Jo Malone candle.

The big one with the three wicks.

The farm sounds perfect.

Now I just have to convince
Anna-Kat and Greg.

Just sneak it out
in the middle of the night.

That's what I did with
Richard's mom when I moved her

out of the guest room
into a retirement home.

She bit me, but it was worth it.

[KATIE AND ANGELA LAUGH]

[GIRLS LAUGHING]

That's them. The Blontourage.

- The girls who kicked Taylor to the curb?
- Mm-hmm.

If you squint, you can almost
see them doing porn in 10 years.

I'm just gonna go say hi.

Uh, you're just gonna go
make things worse.

- Or better!
- But probably worse!

Maybe better!

- Girls.
- Hi, Mrs. Otto.

No. We're not doing that.
This isn't a pleasant meeting.

- I'll have...
- She'll have nothing!

What's your deal?

My deal is that you blew off
Taylor for no reason.

Well, let me tell you something.

I know you think you're all that and...

Wait, wait. All what?

- All that.
- What's that mean?

It's a saying.

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

It's short for
"all that and a bag of chips."

Chips are terrible for you.

Yeah, even the healthy kind are
like a bazillion calories.

Totally. Like, one bag...

Guys. We are not talking
about bags of chips.

We are talking about what bags
of garbage you are.

Incredible transition.

Personally, for me, I'm glad you
blew off my daughter

because I don't want her ending
up like you.

Pretty on the outside
but rotten on the inside.

And eventually, that rottenness
will come to the surface

and no amount of concealer will hide

what dried-out old hags you become.

And when you look
at your shriveled reflections

in the mirror, remember, I called it.

How'd that go?

I made it better.

Or worse.

- I made it worse.
- Yeah.

Hans Gruber won't come down.

Is he sick or depressed or something?

Well...

near as I can tell, he's suffering from

"I should be living on a farm,
but these stupid people

brought me into their house and
named me after a movie villain."

That sounds like
a fairly judgy condition.

I think what Dr. Hatch
is trying to say is,

Hans Gruber belongs on a farm
with other pigs.

He's right. It's time.

Now, how do we get him off the bed?

Stop feeding him. When he's
hungry, he'll find his way down.

You're giving away Hans Gruber?

I'm sorry, honey.
He belongs with his own kind.

I'm his own kind!

Anna-Kat.

Okay, I'm off to see some morons

that have a llama in their apartment.

Anna-Kat, Hans Gruber
has to go to a farm.

He's gotten too big.

You didn't send Mom to a farm
after she had Taylor!

[DOOR SLAMS]

What'd she say?

She said she needs some time
to process things.

?

Did you hear from Oliver?

He texted me.

They landed safely in New York
and are grabbing a bite.

I can't believe our son took
a helicopter to dinner

with his 80-year-old billionaire friend.

There is so much bad in that sentence,

I am choosing to block it out.

[SIGHS]

The vet was right.

Don't feed them, and eventually
they'll come down.

What's up?

Nothin'.

You?

Nothin'.

Cool.

Subzero over here.

Do you think maybe we could play a game?

KATIE: Stay calm, Katie.

Don't look too eager and scare her off.

Give Greg the "play it cool" look.

He never understands my looks.

I'm up for playing a game.

Just not the mystery one.

Mystery one?

It's the one with the rope and
the candlestick and the clues.

Yeah, with the clues. What is that?

- Uhh.
- It's on the tip of my tongue.

- With the rooms.
- Yeah, with the clues.

It's Clue, guys. The game is Clue.

?

[OINKS]

Look who's off the bed and is hungry.

Oh, Anna-Kat, let me help you with that.

Now that Taylor's been cast out,

our sweet, fun-loving girl is back.

I know. Hopefully she'll be
alone and friendless forever.

[OINKS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey, Mrs. Otto.

Uhhh... What are you doing here?

Well, I-I thought about what you said

about being rotten on the inside,

and I want to make up with Taylor.

That's very nice of you,

but she already has
a new group of friends.

Who?

Uh, Brenda, Brandon, Dylan,
and Jennie Garth.

You don't know them.
They don't go to your school.

Now she's too cool to talk to you. Ha!

[EXHALES]

Who was at the door?

- Pizza guy.
- So where's the pizza?

I ate it.

Okay.

It's sweet she's so trusting.

But it hurts my feelings

that she thought I ate
a whole pizza in 30 seconds.

ANNA-KAT: Mom! Dad! Come quick!
You have to see this!

_

It's exactly like in "Charlotte's Web."

Hans Gruber can spell.

We can't give away a pig this special.

Actually, in "Charlotte's Web,"

it was the spider
who could spell, not the pig.

So...

I had to pick the one book you've read.

Sweetie, Hans Gruber belongs on a farm.

But I don't want him to go.

I know.

But if you love somebody,
you need to let them grow.

And sometimes that means
letting them go.

And then you'll put my hair in a bow.

Stop trying to Dr. Seuss me.

Who was at the door earlier?

I know you didn't eat a pizza
in 30 seconds.

Thank you.

It was that Zola girl
trying to make up with Taylor.

What'd you tell her?

I told her that Taylor was friends

with the cast of "90210"
and to never talk to her again.

- Good.
- Good?

No lecture on morals?

No "Oh, what a tangled web we weave...

when we first... lie to our friend...

Steve?"

Would you like to hear
the correct version,

or shall I act like
you nailed it and move on?

Nailed it and move on.

Okay.

Well, hey, guys.

We had the best day.

We went golfing and then...

Ran into some old acquaintances
who weren't happy to see me.

They bet us $10,000 on a round of golf.

We crushed them.

You crushed them. He was amazing.

At my prison,
there wasn't much do but golf.

You know, unless you were
into sport fishing

or hot air ballooning. [LAUGHS]

We took our winnings
and blew it all on dinner.

How did you spend $10,000 on dinner?

Dessert, plus tip. Adds up. [LAUGHS]

Well, it's been a long day.
I think I'll go home

and have a Manhattan or two
and drunk-dial Daryl Hannah.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

That guy is my hero.

Isn't your father
supposed to be your hero?

[LAUGHS]

Good night, Dad.

?

I got up early and made you breakfast.

Aww.

- Mmm.
- Good.

It's good.

It has kale in it.

Don't ruin it for me.

I thought later we can go
for a walk down at the beach.

We can bury Dad in the sand
and then give him boobies.

- [LAUGHS]
- I'm gonna go see if there's a bucket.

It's official...
friendless Taylor just surpassed

"five-month-old-
sleeps-18-hours-a-day Taylor"

- as my favorite Taylor.
- [LAUGHS]

- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- Oh, it's her phone.

It's one of the Blondetourage
texting her.

Zola.

She's the one who always has
that dumb look on her face.

[LAUGHS] What'd she say?

"Hey, Tay-Tay." Hate her.

- Mm.
- "Where are you?

I stopped by your house
last night to talk,

but your parents said you were out.

Let's hang."

Hey, I also found a Frisbee!

Oh, God.

?

What are you doing?

- Feeling up your mom.
- Mm-hmm.

With my phone?

That's what I'm into, Taylor.
Don't judge.

Zola stopped by last night?
And you didn't tell me?

We didn't want you running back
to those terrible girls.

They have already showed you
who they really are.

They're the worst and not to be trusted.

Kinda like my parents.

Hey. We're trying to protect you.

When your mom yelled at them
at Stewart and Kingston's...

- Oh, Greg.
- You yelled at them?

They were asking for it.
Who doesn't eat potato chips?

Are you insane?! You're ruining my life!

[GROANS]

She's right.

We are no better than the Blondetourage.

We're the Parentourage.

Ottotourage.

No need to one-up me, Greg.

Hey, Spencer and I are going
down to the marina

this afternoon to test out
yachts from Dubai.

Is there a rule about wearing
golf shoes yacht-shopping?

[LAUGHS] Why am I asking you guys?

I'm just setting you up to fail.

I was never crazy about
Spencer's influence on Oliver,

but now that he's mobile,
it's going to get worse.

I am going to go over there
and lay down the law.

?

Hi, Spencer.

I rang the bell and no one answered,

so I came around the side.

Oliver thinks the world of you.

But he is an impressionable kid,

and, well, we're not helicopter people.

You know, Spencer?

[BIRD CALLS]

Spencer?

Oh, my God.

[SIGHS]

?

Oh, Spencer.

?

[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

?

[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

Oliver, we need to talk to you.

Listen, I need to go
yacht shopping with Spencer

to complete the cycle.

You look confused.

The cycle consists of the big four...

mansion, Ferrari,

plane, yacht.

Oliver...

I know, I know. I'm a douchebag.

It's not that.

Please. We need you to sit down.

It's about Spencer.

What about Spencer?

Sweetie, I am so sorry to tell you this.

Tell me what?

Spencer...

...passed away today.

What are you talking about?
He was just here.

He was perfectly fine yesterday.

I know it didn't seem like he
was an old guy, but he was.

The paramedics said his heart
just stopped.

He died peacefully, lying by his pool.

It's okay, honey. We're here for you.

I'm fine.

I know he was your friend.

And it is okay to be upset.

Good to know. But you're right.

He wasn't young and stuff happens.

But he died rich.
That's the dream, right?

I got to go cancel the yacht guy.

What was that? He didn't even cry.

His voice didn't even crack.

Maybe he's in shock?

I'm sure it'll set in eventually.

What if it doesn't?

Then we make him watch Pixar
movies until he feels something.

?

- [OINKING]
- KATIE: Honey, don't worry.

On the farm, there's a lot of
room for him to run around.

He'll have friends and be free.

Yeah, free to be a bag of pork rinds.

[LAUGHS]

What happened to,
"it'll set in eventually"?

Oliver just has issues with happiness.

He has trouble with empathy,

and he's currently showing
no signs of grief.

You realize that is the textbook
definition of a psychopath.

But he's not torturing animals.

You're right. How are we so blessed?

?

?

Look. He already made friends.

ANNA-KAT: Yeah. Pig friends.

He looks pretty happy.

- Mm-hmm.
- He does, doesn't he?

Okay, we've been here long enough.

Just say goodbye and we can
get on with our lives.

- [GOAT BLEATING]
- Come on.

[OINKING]

Hans Gruber,
I'm gonna miss you, big guy.

? Me and you, and you and me ?

? No matter how they toss
the dice, it had to be ?

Yep. That was our jam.

[OINKS]

Bye, Hans.

I know we didn't start out
the best of friends,

but you grew on me.

The night I ate
all those Girl Scout Cookies,

I looked over and saw you
chewing on a used coffee filter.

I feel like you did it to make
me feel better about myself.

And it worked, so thank you.

[OINKS]

Goodbye, Hans Gruber.

At least you can make friends here

without your parents butting in

and deciding who's best for you.

[OINKS]

So this is it.
When Daddy brought you home,

you got a second chance at life,
and I got a chance

to know what real
friendship is all about.

[OINKS]

[SIGHS] I'm gonna miss your
snorts and your nose kisses.

I'm gonna miss playing fetch
with Daddy's hairbrush.

- What did she just say?
- Shh.

Be a good pig.

And I'll be back to visit
before you know it.

[OINKING]

You did good, baby.

I'm spent. Let's go.

Wait. Oliver.

Aren't you going to say goodbye?

Fine.

Hey.

Take it easy, pig.

Oliver, you're never
going to see him again.

[EXHALES] Okay.

I guess she's right.

I'm not gonna see you again.

[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

But that's life.

[OINKS]

[SIGHS]

I just want you to know...

?

...meeting you was one
of the best things

that's ever happened to me.

I'm sorry I never told you that.

[CHUCKLES] I'm just...

[VOICE BREAKING] The thing is,

I feel like I just got to know you,

and now you're gone.

[SOBS]

It's not fair!

[SOBBING]

I know, baby.

I know.

[SOBBING]

[VOICE BREAKING] Oh, my sweet boy.

[SOBBING CONTINUES]

?

?

It was a good idea to play
Monopoly in honor of Spencer.

Yeah, we would've caught him
sneaking money into his pocket,

and when we called him on it
he would've gone...

[AS SPENCER]
"Swiss bank account, ha-ha!"

[LAUGHTER]

Room for one more?

I thought you were going out
with the Blondetourage.

They were supposed to pick me
up, but they blew me off.

I saw on Snapchat they're
already at the party.

[EXHALES] Those girls are the worst.

- Mm-hmm.
- I was so stupid.

I should've never gone back with them.

You were right.

Sometimes that happens.

Now come on and sit down.

You can either be a button or a Skittle.

You're the button.

?

- Yes!
- Yeah!

Gotta pay up.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

Mama?

You're not gonna die soon, are you?

I am not gonna die
for a very, very long time.

But you will someday.

Yes. But by the time that happens,

you will be married, with kids,

and I will be living above your garage

spilling popcorn on your couch
and bugging you

that you don't spend enough time with me

even though you spend
all your time with me,

and you'll be like, "When is she
gonna die already?"

Thanks, Mama.

You always know what to say
to make me feel better.

?

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