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1
00:00:00,042 --> 00:00:01,626
As my fortune says,
2
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:03,544
"Soon you will reach
the end of a long journey."
3
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,336
Does that mean I'm gonna die?
4
00:00:05,346 --> 00:00:07,300
Wish the Chinese mafia
would just kill me already
5
00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:08,633
instead of playing these games.
6
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,176
No. No, no, no, that's not it.
7
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,385
Don't you get it?
8
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,387
It means we're finally gonna do it.
9
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:17,266
You guys, we're gonna
finish Cloud Atlas tonight!
10
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,644
The movie? That's what you got
11
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:22,021
from "Soon you will reach
the end of a long journey"?
12
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,525
We have been trying to finish
Cloud Atlas for over five years,
13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,443
ever since I was messing
with Dean's remote
14
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,528
and then accidentally bought it?
15
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,523
We have to keep starting over, 'cause
we respect continuity in cinema.
16
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,450
Yeah, I don't know, guys.
17
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,994
I just feel like I just ate,
like, a pound of lo mein, right?
18
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,412
I'm just getting a little sleepy,
19
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:39,507
so maybe another night.
20
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:43,084
You always want to finish Cloud Atlas.
This is, like, your dream.
21
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,789
Yeah, dude, it's only 9:45.
We'll be done by 1:00 a. m.
22
00:00:45,799 --> 00:00:47,463
[TARA] Didn't we already watch that?
23
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,633
Remember? It took, like, five
hours with all the commercials.
24
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:53,010
[LAUGHING] No, no, no, no!
25
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,804
- Is this true?
- [COUGHS] No!
26
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,847
Uh, baby, I think
that was a different movie.
27
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,892
No, it was definitely Tom Hanks
with a face tattoo in the future.
28
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,560
Jeff, you watched it without us?!
29
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,104
We were supposed to do that together!
30
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,039
You watch rom-coms with your girlfriends
31
00:01:05,049 --> 00:01:07,567
and progressive Wachoswski
films with your nerd friends.
32
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,653
I'm sorry, okay?
I saw my shot, and I took it.
33
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,447
I mean, guys, it's been five years.
I needed closure.
34
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:17,343
Tara, I want you to take note
that Jeff has problems with loyalty.
35
00:01:17,353 --> 00:01:19,620
Guys, it's cool.
We could just watch it again.
36
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,330
Oh, no, we cannot do that.
37
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:24,000
Once you escape Alcatraz,
you don't swim back.
38
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,878
In that scenario, is Alcatraz the movie,
or is it our friendship?
39
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,632
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,346
I can't believe Jeff finished
Cloud Atlas without us.
41
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,390
I mean, he's not Jeff anymore.
42
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:40,516
He's a couple.
43
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,019
He is her, and she is him.
44
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,520
[WHISPERS] They are them,
45
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,063
and we're nothing.
46
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,606
We're just the losers you hang out with
47
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,567
until something better comes along.
48
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,236
All I do is get phased out
by engagements
49
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,905
and marathon training and mud runs.
50
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,574
We can't lose Jeff. We have to show him
51
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:57,867
that we're good friends
and we're worth keeping.
52
00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:01,912
What are things that good friends do?
53
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:04,582
- Good friend, good friend...
- Good friends.
54
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,542
- Hi, I'm a good friend.
- I'm a good friend.
55
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,627
Me, too, I'm a good friend,
and this is what I do.
56
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,297
[BOTH] I...
57
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,593
- I thought you had it.
- I thought I had it.
58
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,386
Oh, you know what? He's
always trying to get us
59
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,430
to those pro wrestling events with him.
60
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,723
There's gotta be something better.
61
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,683
I'm not doing that.
62
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,560
Got it. He's always talking about
63
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,520
how he wants to drink more water,
64
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:30,066
so we could take him out
for a cup of water.
65
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,859
I think we just gotta go with wrestling.
66
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,527
Ugh!
67
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,946
Okay, Esther, what's the big surprise?
68
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,574
If it's another puppet show,
I don't want to see it.
69
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,493
[ESTHER] No, this is even better.
70
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:45,247
We got tickets to Slamfest
at the Pechanga Casino!
71
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,582
You got tickets to Slamfest?!
72
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,084
Oh! It's the grudge match
73
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,127
between El Gato and Johnny Concrete!
74
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,962
I know! We're such good friends!
75
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,547
Aw, but that's tomorrow.
76
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,050
Uh, listen, guys, I would love to come,
77
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,426
but I'm spending
this weekend in Big Bear
78
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,636
with Tara and her friends.
79
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,054
What?
80
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,889
- [LAUGHTER]
- See? There they go.
81
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,349
Jeff, did you really go to Big Bear
82
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,267
for the weekend and not invite us?
83
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,520
Uh, you're not not invited.
84
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,897
It's just that it's,
like, super boring up here.
85
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,858
You know, it's just, like, cooking
86
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,777
and trees and fresh air.
87
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,196
Jeff, we're about to play Boggle!
88
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,448
Ooh, Boggle?! Yay! I can't wait!
89
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,909
Yeah, and there's, like, no TV,
90
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,620
and the Wi-Fi is really ba...
91
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:30,626
[TARA] Oh, hi! Jeff, Boggle time!
92
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:31,794
Did you fake freeze?
93
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,130
- Damn it.
- [BEEP]
94
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,841
Are my boobs really that uneven?
95
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,175
What am I looking at?
96
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,386
What is going on with Jeff?
97
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,055
- I mean...
- He's going basic.
98
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,307
He's wearing a turtleneck.
99
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,393
His eyes lit up when they said "Boggle."
100
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,811
We are so screwed right now.
101
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,229
First, he's excited to play Boggle,
102
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,522
and next thing you know,
103
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,107
he and Tara are buying a lizard together
104
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,109
and they're making it
its own Instagram account.
105
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,405
And I will not follow another
lizard Instagram account.
106
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,158
We are addicted to podcasts.
107
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,452
It's crazy, but we listen to them
108
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:05,911
when we're doing the dishes.
109
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,329
Don't tell people that, Chris!
110
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,290
It's so random!
111
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,583
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
112
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,084
I got it!
113
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,086
Oh.
114
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,006
Hi. Can I borrow a cup of sugar...
115
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,841
Is that you, Jeff?!
116
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,468
[WHISPERING] No! No!
117
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,927
Absolutely not!
118
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,679
Yeah.
119
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,348
Oh, my God! What are
you guys doing here?
120
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,435
It's so weird to see you
in a calm, beautiful place.
121
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,645
It's like seeing a clown at a funeral.
122
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,988
I saw that once.
123
00:04:33,998 --> 00:04:35,858
- Of course we came. Jeff invited us.
- Yeah.
124
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,443
It was clearly a fake invite.
125
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,321
Oh, we accept all fake
invites as just a policy.
126
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,198
Are these your comedian friends?
127
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,826
Yeah. This is Esther and Benji,
128
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,828
who I'm very surprised to see.
129
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,955
Ha! Hi, I'm Chris Pyne.
130
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,646
It's with a "Y," don't worry.
131
00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:53,450
I'm Megan. Don't mind Chris.
132
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,294
He's just a crazy goose.
133
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,171
But he didn't do anything.
134
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,132
He just said his name.
135
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,904
Obviously, I'm not a fan
of shooting innocent animals,
136
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:09,225
but that wall has saved at least one
person from getting Lyme disease.
137
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,352
All right, you can stay, okay, but...
138
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,063
but just please try to be
normal, all right?
139
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,705
I want to be friends
with Megan and Chris.
140
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,846
Why are you trying to be friends
with Megan and Chris?
141
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:20,639
They're so boring. They're like if
an in-flight magazine became people.
142
00:05:20,649 --> 00:05:22,863
And if I try and act normal,
it gets worse.
143
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,406
- Be cool!
- Again with these...
144
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,159
Cool and normal, what am I?
145
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,619
- [CHRIS] Hey!
- [JEFF] Hey!
146
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,621
- [CHRIS] There they are!
- [MEGAN] There they are!
147
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,947
Oh, hey, Esther, can I pour you
a glass of Sauvignon Blanc?
148
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,458
It's from Dave Matthews' vineyard.
149
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,085
Oh, that's a double no for me, Chris.
150
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,379
I don't support celebrity side-projects.
151
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,922
Okay, Scattergories!
152
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,549
And we all have to gang up on Chris,
153
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,008
because he always wins.
154
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,844
Oh, Chris!
155
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,595
I'm a bit of a logophile.
156
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,686
I keep a word-a-day calendar
at the office.
157
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:49,807
He does.
158
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,726
I would have taken you
for more of a Dilbert guy.
159
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,771
I was. That is until Megan
got me into Cathy.
160
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,065
- Aack!
- [LAUGHING]
161
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,734
[FORCED LAUGHTER]
162
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:04,363
Quick question... are we 100%
for sure on Scattergories?
163
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,283
Just 'cause I really like games
like Pretty Pretty Princess
164
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,952
or Candy Land where the pieces are toys.
165
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,121
Actually, I like Scattergories.
166
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,081
I'm having a great time,
Chris and Megan.
167
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,165
- Mmm!
- Wha...
168
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,959
Jeff, we've had
so many good weekend trips
169
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,086
without Scattergories. Come on, dude.
170
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,672
Remember Santa Fe when I was going
through my turquoise phase?
171
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,507
That was so much fun.
172
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,010
We did a Children of the Corn
parody on our phones.
173
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,928
[GASPS] Let's shoot a scary short film.
174
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,930
Oh, that sounds fun.
175
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,265
Ooh, can I be the killer?
176
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,725
'Cause, you know, there's never been
177
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,852
a sociopathic murderer
that's an Indian girl.
178
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,729
Hollywood is so messed up.
179
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:41,026
What about The Big Bear Witch Project?
180
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,028
So it's like The Blair Witch Project,
181
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,655
except that we're in Big Bear.
So I just substituted.
182
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,490
Chris, you really
went past the joke there.
183
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,327
Ooh, or we could do
Bearanormal Activity,
184
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,078
- like Paranormal Activity...
- We get it.
185
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,164
We'll connect the dots, thank you.
186
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,665
Why don't we just do both?
187
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,959
Me and Jeff will do
Bear Witch with Chris,
188
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,295
and you guys can do
Bearanormal Activity.
189
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,088
Um...
190
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,465
- Us with Megan?
- [TARA] Mm-hmm.
191
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,342
Well, I feel like Me, Jeff, and Esther
192
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,968
sort of have rapport already.
193
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,020
We're sort of like
the Elaine, George, Jerry
194
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,973
of five-minute low-budget horror films,
so why don't we group up?
195
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,975
No, let's not do that.
Let's mix it up, man.
196
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,728
Good call. Chris took film in
college for a couple years,
197
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,648
before he pivoted
into pharmaceutical sales.
198
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,692
Isn't pharmaceutical stuff
really bad for the country?
199
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,695
Well, I know the perfect
spooky spot outside.
200
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,822
- Yes, you do.
- Join me.
201
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,366
Oh, okay! Let's go!
202
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,201
[JEFF AND TARA FAKE LAUGHING]
203
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,869
I think I'm gonna be good at this.
204
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,869
I've never felt like
I would be good at anything.
205
00:07:35,879 --> 00:07:38,173
What is that like?
206
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,502
[ESTHER] You're not gonna believe this.
207
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,004
But I just got off the
phone with a townsperson
208
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,006
who told me that this cabin
209
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:50,552
was built on an ancient
circus burial ground.
210
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:54,264
Some say there's a lot of
Bearanormal Activity in here.
211
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:58,310
And it's scary, so you
shouldn't be smiling.
212
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,145
Now let's go check on our friend.
213
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,439
He doesn't believe in ghosts.
214
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,609
Surely nothing has changed since
he went in the other room
215
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:09,988
to investigate that noise.
216
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,282
A ghost clown bear ate my legs!
217
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,744
Aaah! No! No! No!
218
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,997
[UNCONVINCING SCREAM]
219
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,165
[LAUGHS]
220
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,668
'Scuse me? Cut.
221
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,670
[PHONE BEEPS]
222
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,630
Great scream, Megan.
223
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,799
Thank you. I think that's
gonna be a really neat take.
224
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,093
I'm gonna post it to Facebook later.
225
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,887
I gotta go check on my cream
cheese salsa wontons.
226
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,140
Sounds great.
227
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,933
Cream cheese salsa wontons
sound amazing,
228
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,435
but Megan sucks.
229
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,105
Her friend just got
eaten by a bear ghost,
230
00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:43,165
and she screamed like
someone gave her a puppy.
231
00:08:43,176 --> 00:08:45,345
Do we change the plot so
someone does hand her a puppy?
232
00:08:45,356 --> 00:08:46,396
Dude.
233
00:08:46,407 --> 00:08:47,735
I'm just trying to think
of solutions here.
234
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:48,986
The girl still uses Facebook.
235
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,612
How do you work with someone like that?
236
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,323
- [TARA SCREAMS]
- What was that?
237
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,492
He has lights?
238
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,702
[CHRIS] Cue the crane shot.
239
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,876
He does have lights.
240
00:08:57,886 --> 00:08:59,111
[CHRIS LAUGHING DIABOLICALLY]
241
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:00,947
- And he's got a hockey mask!
- [TARA SCREAMS]
242
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,583
Dude, he has better wardrobe than us.
243
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,627
We're supposed to be better than
him at this, and he's beating us!
244
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,254
He's not gonna beat us,
245
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,339
because it's gonna come
down to performance.
246
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,341
And we're gonna get
a scream out of Megan,
247
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,011
and it's gonna be real.
248
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,890
Guys, it's cream cheese
salsa wonton time.
249
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,184
- Death beaver!
- Aah!
250
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,185
Cut!
251
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,311
We got it.
252
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,438
Oh. Uh, could we go again?
253
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,023
I was taking a photo.
254
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,316
Oh, no, no, no, no.
255
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,859
Chris?
256
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,235
Megan, she said cut,
257
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,737
but I appreciate the commitment.
258
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,572
Also, we haven't established a "Chris"
259
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,298
in the world of our movie,
so it doesn't...
260
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,784
- What's going on?
- Aah! Aah! Aah!
261
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:37,951
- What's going on?!
- Aah!
262
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,663
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
263
00:09:39,673 --> 00:09:40,873
- Are you okay.
- [WEAKLY] Yeah.
264
00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:42,122
Remember your blood pressure.
265
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,165
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
266
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,750
[JEFF] What happened?
267
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,710
Movie magic happened.
268
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,462
Yeah, yeah, it's okay. It's okay.
269
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,281
We'll call Dr. Gordon
first thing tomorrow, okay?
270
00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:51,340
Okay.
271
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,884
[BENJI] Why do you need to call a
doctor? She just got startled.
272
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,385
I'm sure she's fine.
273
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,304
Yeah, no one ever died
from being startled.
274
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,764
I don't know if that's true.
275
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,892
Look, it's okay because you didn't know,
276
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,519
but Megan's pregnant.
277
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,146
Oh, my God! Megan, really?!
278
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,440
We were gonna tell you
over brunch tomorrow.
279
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,983
I am so excited!
280
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,486
On behalf of me and Beaver Brown,
I just wanted to apologize.
281
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,822
I thought we were going
with Justin Beaver.
282
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,406
Wasn't a hard yes.
283
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,201
You know, I think we're gonna go to bed.
It's kind of been a long day.
284
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,619
I'll join you.
285
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,662
Uh, sorry.
286
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:22,997
[SIGHS]
287
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,417
Jeff, if anything,
288
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,378
the scare will make her baby stronger.
289
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,921
When my mom was pregnant with me,
290
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,548
a grandfather clock fell on her,
291
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,534
and now I'm really good
at guessing the time.
292
00:10:34,544 --> 00:10:35,859
Do you want to see?
293
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,303
Maybe later?
294
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,806
And how were we supposed
to know she was pregnant?
295
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,392
Her skin is not glowing.
296
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,810
Now you're insulting her glow?!
297
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,521
- No!
- You guys are acting like Bozos, okay?
298
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:50,232
And Tara's friends are real adults.
299
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,900
And if they think that I'm a Bozo, too,
300
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,443
then maybe they tell her
301
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,695
that she can do better than me.
302
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,488
And she can!
303
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,323
- [ESTHER] Jeff.
- [BENJI] Come on, dude.
304
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,367
No.
305
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,786
What's he even talking about?
306
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,581
I'm an adult. I make noises
when I stand up and sit down.
307
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,582
Uh!
308
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,708
Jeff is being ridiculous.
309
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,168
Of course we can be mature.
310
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,419
[SIGHS]
311
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,171
I can't believe it's already...
312
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,922
9:30. Boom.
313
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,090
11:42.
314
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,467
Scary close.
315
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,470
["DON'T KNOW WHY"
BY NORAH JONES PLAYING]
316
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,621
Okay, this is a grown-ass brunch.
317
00:11:23,631 --> 00:11:26,001
Well, nothing makes people
forget about a miscarriage scare
318
00:11:26,011 --> 00:11:27,477
like a classy waffle.
319
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,687
[MEGAN] You guys are up.
320
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,231
We figured you were "sleep in" people.
321
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,817
Oh, we did sleep in, till 6:00 a. m.
322
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,487
It was so decadent.
323
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,739
Hmm.
324
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,365
Well, um...
325
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,534
please join us for waffles.
326
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,537
[BENJI] There's food you can eat.
327
00:11:44,547 --> 00:11:47,283
[ESTHER] As you'll see, there's
a knife and fork to your left.
328
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,336
Ahem.
329
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,673
So, Chris, you're in pharmaceuticals.
330
00:11:56,674 --> 00:12:00,553
Um, are the generics
the same as the name brand?
331
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,389
It's a very complicated question.
332
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,807
I forgot my agave.
333
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,517
Be right back. Hold that thought.
334
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,811
She's really into syrup.
335
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,438
We can get kicked out of IHOP.
336
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,398
Just goes to town in there.
337
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,192
[SIGHS]
338
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,946
It's just a little something
to take the edge off.
339
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,284
Uh, were you about to eat a gummi worm
340
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,828
- between two potato chips?
- Mm?
341
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,707
The only people who eat like
that are five-year-olds and...
342
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,827
Ohhh! Yes!
343
00:12:36,837 --> 00:12:39,394
What happened? What did she do?
What did you do? What did you do?
344
00:12:39,404 --> 00:12:41,051
No, no, no, I just figured it out!
345
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,135
What?
346
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,303
The loose-fitting clothes,
347
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,389
the non-alcoholic beverages,
348
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,475
the 36-packs of pudding
she brought in her own cooler?
349
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,394
Chris, Esther's pregnant.
350
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:54,773
[BOTH SCREAMING AND LAUGHING]
351
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,525
- [CHRIS] Aaah!
- Aah ha ha.
352
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,068
Okay, that totally makes
sense, because you were
353
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,528
acting kind of weird
yesterday, a little weird.
354
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,613
- She was acting weird.
- Erratic behavior.
355
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,236
[MEGAN] It's okay. All is forgiven.
356
00:13:03,246 --> 00:13:05,534
Yes, I am pregnant.
357
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,203
That is why I am this way.
358
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,122
Guys, Esther's not...
359
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,249
Telling anyone just yet.
360
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,043
Um, not until my next semester.
361
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:18,797
Well, congratulations, Dad?
362
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,007
[ESTHER] Dad?
363
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,842
[HEAVES] Sorry.
364
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,584
- Just morning sickness.
- [CHRIS] Right.
365
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,554
Of course he's the father.
366
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,348
Right, I'm...
367
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,766
definitely the dad,
368
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,020
and it's all totally new
and weird to me.
369
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,731
- Bring it in. Bring it in!
- Get in!
370
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,942
[CHRIS] Celebrate. Ohhh!
371
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,485
[BENJI] I'm so comfortable hugging!
372
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,821
What is going on here?
373
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,573
Is this consensual?
374
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,992
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just
getting to know each other.
375
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,746
Turns out, we have a lot more
in common than we thought.
376
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,623
I love hugging friends.
377
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,709
Hmm.
378
00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:58,837
[HUSHED VOICE] I did not give you
permission to have my fictional baby.
379
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,359
Since we've been friends, when
have I asked you for permission?
380
00:14:01,369 --> 00:14:03,592
Look, Jeff asked us to be grown-ups,
381
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,094
and what's more grown up
than havin' a baby?
382
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,138
I don't know, Esther,
maybe thinking ahead
383
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,681
to where you're not gonna have a baby,
384
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,202
'cause you're not actually pregnant.
385
00:14:11,212 --> 00:14:12,642
What's your long-term plan, dude?
386
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:15,270
My long-term plan is that
we're never gonna see these dorks again,
387
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,481
and if we do, worst-case scenario,
388
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,066
we'll just say that the baby got stolen
389
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,240
by one of those Chinese gymnastic camps.
390
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,081
- That happens all the time.
- No, it doesn't.
391
00:14:23,091 --> 00:14:24,863
- He's behind you!
- [CHRIS] There's the padre!
392
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,115
Hey, Esther, do you mind if
we squeeze in some papa talk?
393
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:29,117
Oh, I would love that.
He really needs guidance.
394
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,912
He has a hard time relating
to men, so have at him.
395
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,080
That's not true.
396
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,578
- Oh.
- Oh.
397
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:36,374
So grateful to have gotten her pregnant.
398
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,168
Ahh! So, nervous?
399
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,878
I mean, I know I am.
400
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,005
What's your birth plan?
401
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:45,634
Um, the birth plan is that we, uh...
402
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,803
we're gonna do it.
403
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,097
Oh, I've had stretch marks
since I was six years old,
404
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,058
so this is nothing new.
405
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,352
It's so nice that you
laugh at the things I say
406
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,020
now that you know I'm pregnant.
407
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,855
- [LAUGHING]
- Hey, guys.
408
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,273
What are you talking about?
409
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,525
- Oh.
- Um...
410
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,110
Um, we were just talking about
411
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,826
how there's gonna be
an eclipse next week,
412
00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:07,573
and we really want to go outside
and just see what it looks like before
413
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,032
to start a baseline.
414
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,742
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
415
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,246
Wish you could join us,
but you hate astrology.
416
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,248
[DOOR OPENS]
417
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,624
Hey.
418
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,376
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- You won't believe this.
419
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,670
Chris and Benji just left
to go canoeing.
420
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,922
Esther and Megan
are kind of chummy, too.
421
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,674
I mean, I'm not trying to feel left out,
422
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,717
but I kinda do.
423
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,762
Aw. Well, since it's just the two of us,
424
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,723
we could go and have sex in the woods.
425
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,226
I'm sorry. I mean... ahem!
426
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,311
I'm sorry that you feel left out.
427
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,605
That's terrible.
428
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,192
But you want to anyway?
429
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,070
- Grab that afghan.
- Okay.
430
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,781
[BENJI] What a beautiful
afternoon, guys.
431
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,701
Chris and I saw a loon on the lake.
432
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,077
It is such a noble bird.
433
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,162
[CHUCKLES]
434
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,496
What did you two get up to?
435
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,457
- Oh, uh... yeah.
- Oh, uh... we...
436
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,334
We just went for a walk in the woods.
437
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,086
Took a couple walks, actually.
438
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,672
- Oh, my.
- Like, one walk.
439
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,174
Calm down.
440
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,092
I think I'm gonna do prenatal yoga.
441
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,503
Do you want to join?
442
00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:11,686
Oh, my God, I would love to.
443
00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:13,395
I've always wanted to try
that kind of class.
444
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:15,140
- Yay.
- Oh, what kind of class?
445
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,141
[ESTHER] Oh, well...
446
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,310
Stop being so inquisitive.
447
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,769
Okay, what's up?
448
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,854
What are you guys hiding?
449
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,230
Did you break something?
450
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,441
Tell me it wasn't the Jacuzzi.
451
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,902
- We should tell her.
- Um...
452
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,070
She's pregnant! [SQUEALS]
453
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,655
Oh... Oh, God!
454
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:34,242
We're so excited for Esther
and Papa Benji!
455
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,119
- It's Benji's?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
456
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,080
Yeah, Esther and I, um,
engaged in coitus,
457
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,958
and my sperm made her pregnant.
458
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,668
That's right. That's what happened.
459
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,754
Ooookay.
460
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:49,382
Okay. So that's what's going on
461
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:52,052
with all the hugging
and the loon watching.
462
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,553
Oh, gosh, you know what?
463
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,888
I would really love to hear
464
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,182
all the details of the conception.
465
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,892
- Wouldn't you guys?
- I would!
466
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,811
- [TARA] Dish! Let's hear it!
- [JEFF] De-tails!
467
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,647
I-I... We did it.
468
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,900
I put my reproductive organs inside of
469
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:10,237
- Esther's birth cavity and...
- [CHRIS GROANS]
470
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,447
And now she's pregnant with my...
471
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,115
- That's enough.
- Sorry.
472
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:17,285
You know what? I think we need to take
some pictures of the happy couple.
473
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,354
- Yes!
- Oh, we have so many.
474
00:17:19,364 --> 00:17:21,226
- I don't think we have to.
- No, you got to!
475
00:17:21,236 --> 00:17:22,832
Patio... soft lighting. Come on.
476
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,209
You're gonna love it.
477
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,044
Oh, you guys, I'm so happy for you.
478
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,379
This is gonna be beautiful.
479
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,588
Life finds a way.
480
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,839
Life really finds a way.
481
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,799
[MOUTHING]
482
00:17:31,809 --> 00:17:34,594
I'm so sorry. They're acting like
such idiots with your friends.
483
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,012
Are you kidding?
484
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,306
This weekend was so boring
until they got here.
485
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,934
I mean, they just lied
about being pregnant, because...
486
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:44,646
You know, I'm actually
not quite sure why they lied.
487
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,314
- So you're not mad?
- No.
488
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,607
This is the most uncomfortable
489
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,442
I've ever seen Benji and Esther.
490
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,778
Let's get over there
and make it worse for them.
491
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,196
- I love you.
- I love you.
492
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,781
And it was only once.
493
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,784
All right, these pictures
are going everywhere.
494
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,661
Okay? I'm talking Facebook, Instagram,
495
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:00,904
the wall at The Comedy Store.
496
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,052
Yeah? Oh.
497
00:18:02,062 --> 00:18:05,116
Benji, are your hands just
hovering over Esther's stomach?
498
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,543
You gotta touch it.
499
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:09,004
That's your kid in there, man.
500
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,339
- Ohh!
- So protective!
501
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,383
Is it weird that I feel kicking?
502
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:17,429
Sorry. I usually eat my butterscotch
pudding at a lower altitude.
503
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,888
- [TARA LAUGHS]
- Hey, Benj.
504
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:22,726
Uh, why don't you get on your knees
505
00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,561
and talk to your baby?
506
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,906
Oh, yeah. And, um, Esther,
507
00:18:25,916 --> 00:18:28,106
you better lift your shirt up
so the baby can hear.
508
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:30,108
Good. That's a good note.
509
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,302
- [CHRIS] We did that. Classic.
- Look, she's already showing.
510
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:35,071
- [MEGAN] Oh, my God!
- Hi, baby.
511
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,867
I'm sorry about what I've
done to you genetically.
512
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:41,727
Okay, that's enough.
Don't want to upset the baby.
513
00:18:41,737 --> 00:18:42,867
Ooh, I got a great idea.
514
00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:44,688
Turn towards each other
and touch tummies.
515
00:18:44,698 --> 00:18:46,070
- [CHRIS AND MEGAN] Oooh!
- Okay.
516
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,335
And you know what, when you
do it, you should kiss.
517
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,669
Yes, on the mouth.
518
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:50,963
We'd love to.
519
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,091
[HOLDING BREATH]
520
00:18:58,734 --> 00:19:00,513
- She's not pregnant!
- I'm not pregnant!
521
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:04,267
What?! Whatever do you mean?!
522
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,645
You mean, you guys aren't a couple
523
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,688
and this was all bullshit?
524
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,440
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
525
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,026
Are we doing a movie?
I thought we were being real people.
526
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,986
Yeah, I'm sorry, guys.
527
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,614
My friends thought that if
they pretended to be pregnant
528
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,317
that that would impress you.
529
00:19:19,327 --> 00:19:22,369
Jeff, the only reason we're trying
to be real adults is because of you.
530
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,025
If you think about it,
531
00:19:24,035 --> 00:19:27,163
the only think gestating
here is friendship.
532
00:19:28,316 --> 00:19:31,066
Also, full disclosure,
we did break the Jacuzzi.
533
00:19:31,577 --> 00:19:32,910
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
534
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,800
[ESTHER, IN VIDEO] That night the
train crashed into the circus,
535
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,760
killing all the bears.
536
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,720
And then, the bears came back
537
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,682
to take revenge on the
descendents of the conductor,
538
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,351
who is my ancestor.
539
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:50,063
30 seconds in, and I'm
not following the plot.
540
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,481
[BENJI] Jeff, it's an art film.
541
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,024
It's about the feeling
542
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,526
you walk away from it with.
543
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,528
It's not about
your OCD need for structure.
544
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,405
Shh! This is a really good part.
545
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,365
[BENJI] A ghost clown bear ate my legs!
546
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,868
Aaah! No! No! No!
547
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,163
[DUBBED-IN SCREAM]
548
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:10,208
I am so glad that
I edited that scream in post.
549
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,918
It really elevates my work.
550
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,421
That was good. Very good.
551
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,506
But I think Big Bear Witch Project's
552
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,174
gonna knock that out of the water.
553
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,094
We should hang out
with Megan and Chris again
554
00:20:20,104 --> 00:20:22,262
before they have a baby
and get even more boring.
555
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:25,014
This should be obvious, but they
don't want to see you guys again.
556
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,015
I had a feeling.
557
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,559
I was being sarcastic.
558
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,937
Ahem! Get your popcorn
and possibly a diaper.
559
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,525
And prepare yourself
for the feature presentation.
560
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,613
- That's us in the woods.
- Mm-hmm.
561
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,427
- [TARA] Oh, my God!
- [JEFF] Okay!
562
00:20:42,437 --> 00:20:44,242
Jeff, are you sure
this is the right video?
563
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,579
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Close your eyes!
564
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,830
Jeffrey!
565
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:51,041
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
566
00:20:51,091 --> 00:20:55,641
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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