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1
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ALEX: Things with the company
were really coming together,
2
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:03,703
but we were still missing a name.
3
00:00:03,789 --> 00:00:06,937
Story Space... Story Place...
4
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,571
Story... Amos?
5
00:00:09,628 --> 00:00:10,594
?
6
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:11,562
Apple!
7
00:00:11,587 --> 00:00:13,053
Oh, no, that's already a thing.
8
00:00:13,121 --> 00:00:14,187
?
9
00:00:14,256 --> 00:00:15,755
Talk of the Town, Talk of the Night,
10
00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,190
Talk of the Truck, Taco Truck.
11
00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:19,893
Beets! Oh, damn you, Dr. Dre.
12
00:00:19,962 --> 00:00:22,128
Pod, Pod People, The Podsters.
13
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,363
Fire.
14
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,999
Ooh, I like that, like stories
around the campfire.
15
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:28,168
No, like the bacon's on fire.
16
00:00:28,270 --> 00:00:30,837
I was even working on it in my sleep.
17
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,540
Signal... Signal Media...
18
00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:36,710
Today's guest is Alex Schuman,
19
00:00:36,812 --> 00:00:39,412
the CEO of Signal Media.
20
00:00:39,481 --> 00:00:41,314
[Laughs] Oh.
21
00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:44,684
Thanks, Oprah, but I'm a married man...
22
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:45,952
and what about Stedman?
23
00:00:46,054 --> 00:00:48,054
[Grunts]
24
00:00:48,156 --> 00:00:51,358
[Snores]
25
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,859
I've got it!
26
00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:55,462
Guys, I've got the name!
27
00:00:55,531 --> 00:00:57,964
I've got it. I got the name.
28
00:00:58,033 --> 00:00:59,432
Prepare to be wowed.
29
00:00:59,564 --> 00:01:00,867
No, don't shake your head.
30
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,435
You haven't even heard it yet.
31
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:04,604
- It is...
- I'd like to be wowed.
32
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,175
Honey, you didn't tell me
that your mother was visiting.
33
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,378
What a fun surprise.
34
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,514
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:16,518 --> 00:01:17,617
What's your mother doing here?
36
00:01:17,719 --> 00:01:19,920
Sometimes moms just pop in unannounced.
37
00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:21,191
Who pops in from Dallas?
38
00:01:21,277 --> 00:01:23,523
And maybe she heard about you
starting your company
39
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,692
and decided to come in
and provide the kids
40
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,661
with some stability
during this turbulent time.
41
00:01:27,763 --> 00:01:29,362
Well, if she's here, I hope she's ready
42
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,698
for some fun in the city, extra spicy,
43
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,633
Indian-style, the full Schuman.
44
00:01:33,735 --> 00:01:34,668
No, no. No full Schuman.
45
00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:37,037
Please, babe, I really don't want you
46
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,439
to do that thing where you try
overcompensating with her.
47
00:01:39,541 --> 00:01:41,374
I bet your mother would love
my overcompensating
48
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,543
if I was that Bengali doctor
you used to date,
49
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,212
that stupid, perfect Dr. Sandeep.
50
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,048
Yeah, well, I didn't want
to marry a tall,
51
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,382
handsome, successful doctor.
52
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,384
I wanted to marry you.
53
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,522
Okay, fine. No overcompensating.
54
00:01:55,624 --> 00:01:57,390
Maybe just some regular compensating
55
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,693
with just a hint of under-compensating.
56
00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:00,961
Thank you.
57
00:02:01,063 --> 00:02:02,495
- [Cellphone plays Indian music]
- And to prove it to you,
58
00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,164
I'll be ignoring
that Google alert I just set
59
00:02:04,266 --> 00:02:05,999
for any and all Indian-themed events
60
00:02:06,101 --> 00:02:07,968
happening in the greater New York area.
61
00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,235
?
62
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,337
Joya!
63
00:02:10,439 --> 00:02:12,305
It really is good to see you.
64
00:02:12,407 --> 00:02:13,640
Good to see you, too,
65
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,375
although I would have been fine
seeing a little less of you.
66
00:02:15,477 --> 00:02:17,344
Yes. Sorry for my lack of clothes.
67
00:02:17,446 --> 00:02:20,513
Or as you might say,
"Sorry, I forgot my sari."
68
00:02:20,616 --> 00:02:21,548
Oh, my God.
69
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:22,649
Rooni, did I tell you
70
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,417
that I recently became Facebook friends
71
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,353
with your old friend Dr. Sandeep?
72
00:02:26,455 --> 00:02:29,648
And he posted the cutest video
of his gorgeous family.
73
00:02:29,718 --> 00:02:31,491
Why are they covered in colors?
74
00:02:31,593 --> 00:02:34,327
They are observing
the Hindu holiday of Holi.
75
00:02:34,429 --> 00:02:36,696
Your mother used to love Holi as a girl.
76
00:02:36,798 --> 00:02:38,698
I guess they decided
not to continue that tradition
77
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,001
with the two of you... for some reason.
78
00:02:41,103 --> 00:02:44,004
Oh, Mom, isn't it a little early
for this much judgment?
79
00:02:44,106 --> 00:02:46,539
So, Alex, I hear that you decided
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00:02:46,642 --> 00:02:48,208
to jeopardize your children's future
81
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:50,510
by quitting your radio DJ job
to start a new company.
82
00:02:50,612 --> 00:02:53,213
I guess that means it's not too early.
The company's going great.
83
00:02:53,315 --> 00:02:54,414
Thank you for asking.
84
00:02:54,516 --> 00:02:56,616
We launch our first podcast
in a few weeks.
85
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,685
[Snaps fingers] Come to think of it,
86
00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:01,621
since the family is
such a big part of the series,
87
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,657
it would be wonderful to get you on tape
88
00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:05,358
to hear some of your thoughts
on everything.
89
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:09,329
[Speaking Hindi] _
90
00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:11,698
She said, "Maybe later."
91
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,266
Okay. That's one's gonna be,
"Maybe later."
92
00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:14,467
Awesome.
93
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,470
So, what is this company called?
94
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,674
The name has actually been
a little hard to come by.
95
00:03:20,776 --> 00:03:22,942
But this morning,
while washing my undercarriage,
96
00:03:23,045 --> 00:03:23,943
I think I found it.
97
00:03:24,046 --> 00:03:25,645
The name or your undercarriage?
98
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,013
[Laughter]
99
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:29,783
The name. Kids, drumroll.
100
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:35,288
The Universal Radio Directive.
101
00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:37,123
?
102
00:03:37,225 --> 00:03:40,060
It's so... long.
103
00:03:40,162 --> 00:03:41,227
It hurts my brain.
104
00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:42,595
The acronym is "turd."
105
00:03:42,698 --> 00:03:44,597
[Laughing] Dad's making a giant turd!
106
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,700
No, no. I'm not gonna make a turd.
107
00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:48,668
It sounded better when I was soapy.
108
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,270
You should have stayed a DJ.
109
00:03:50,372 --> 00:03:52,372
Everyone in New York needs DJs.
110
00:03:52,474 --> 00:03:54,407
There are weddings, bar mitzvahs...
111
00:03:54,509 --> 00:03:56,576
Mom, you know he wasn't
an actual DJ, right?
112
00:03:56,678 --> 00:03:57,777
I wasn't a DJ.
113
00:03:57,879 --> 00:04:00,480
...Quincea�eras, block parties,
proms, hootenannies.
114
00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:01,648
Magic shows.
115
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,650
Raves.
116
00:04:03,752 --> 00:04:05,318
Kids, come on!
117
00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:07,887
Grandma Express leaves in five!
118
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,157
Thanks again for handling drop-off, Mom.
119
00:04:11,259 --> 00:04:13,927
Hmm, anything to help launch
your husband's giant turd.
120
00:04:14,029 --> 00:04:16,162
Could you please just try
121
00:04:16,264 --> 00:04:18,164
to take it easy on Alex a bit?
122
00:04:18,266 --> 00:04:21,301
He gets so anxious
just trying to please you.
123
00:04:21,403 --> 00:04:23,636
You know who else I was tough on? You.
124
00:04:23,739 --> 00:04:25,138
And you turned out to be
125
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,340
a very successful public defender.
126
00:04:27,442 --> 00:04:29,342
But, you know,
maybe I should have treated you
127
00:04:29,444 --> 00:04:31,244
like your cousin Debesh, huh?
128
00:04:31,346 --> 00:04:34,180
My sister coddled him,
treated him like a prince,
129
00:04:34,282 --> 00:04:36,850
and now he's a Prince... impersonator.
130
00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:38,618
- Okay, Mom, please.
- [Sighs]
131
00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:39,753
Fine.
132
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,988
If it means that much to you,
133
00:04:42,057 --> 00:04:43,022
I'll be nice.
134
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:44,924
- What's this?
- Alex likes to leave
135
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,526
a little joke in their lunch every day.
136
00:04:46,595 --> 00:04:48,294
"How do you make a tissue dance?
137
00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:49,929
Put a little boogie in it."
138
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,766
He doesn't make it easy.
139
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,400
No, he really doesn't.
140
00:04:54,469 --> 00:04:55,568
Let me ask you something.
141
00:04:55,637 --> 00:04:57,337
What's the one thing
every company here has
142
00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:58,355
that we don't?
143
00:04:58,406 --> 00:04:59,572
- Mints.
- Diversity.
144
00:04:59,641 --> 00:05:00,940
A name.
145
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,642
Oh, that was gonna be my next guess.
146
00:05:02,744 --> 00:05:04,377
Sure would be nice
to have those mints, though.
147
00:05:04,446 --> 00:05:05,979
Guys, we can't keep putting this off.
148
00:05:06,081 --> 00:05:07,847
No one is gonna take
this company seriously
149
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:08,982
until we have a name.
150
00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:10,850
And to be honest,
it's a little embarrassing.
151
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,920
I mean, even the Virtual Reality
Machine guys found a name.
152
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,855
EDDIE: Ve Are VR?
153
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:18,525
Sure, it's not great,
but you get who vey vare.
154
00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:20,860
Does this sudden motivation
have anything to do
155
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,462
with your mother-in-law being in town?
156
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,731
Ed, having a name
would give us legitimacy
157
00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,166
in the eyes of a lot of people.
158
00:05:26,234 --> 00:05:27,433
[Cellphone plays Indian music]
159
00:05:27,502 --> 00:05:28,701
Including my mother-in-law.
160
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:29,669
[Cellphone clicks]
161
00:05:29,738 --> 00:05:31,871
"Interested in Indian threesomes?"
162
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,573
It's probably for golf.
163
00:05:33,642 --> 00:05:36,476
Deirdre, what's the current
status of our name search?
164
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,511
Well, currently, our status is nothing.
165
00:05:38,613 --> 00:05:41,147
But one of my roommates
works for a branding agency
166
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,749
that specializes in naming.
167
00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:44,450
They name everything from businesses,
168
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,252
to Ikea furniture, to new diseases.
169
00:05:46,354 --> 00:05:47,854
Flardstorp... That was them.
170
00:05:47,923 --> 00:05:49,725
I think that's the name
of my shelving unit.
171
00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:51,691
No. Actually, it's the hot new bird flu.
172
00:05:51,793 --> 00:05:53,293
- Should I set up a meeting?
- I don't know.
173
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:56,196
Hiring some corporate,
soulless agency to name us...
174
00:05:56,264 --> 00:05:57,664
It goes against the very first thing
175
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,500
I'm looking for in a name,
which is authenticity.
176
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,468
I like it when a name has two meanings,
177
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,937
like the movie "Face Off."
178
00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:05,939
Okay, this is good.
179
00:06:06,007 --> 00:06:07,740
You know, why don't we...
why don't we just make a list
180
00:06:07,843 --> 00:06:09,542
of everything we want in a name?
Deirdre.
181
00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:11,811
Okay, I like names that are
subtle and clean, you know,
182
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,446
like one syllable, and remind people
183
00:06:13,515 --> 00:06:16,416
of a simpler time,
like "Cream" or "Yurt."
184
00:06:16,518 --> 00:06:18,151
Okay.
185
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:19,586
I'm not sure about those specific names,
186
00:06:19,688 --> 00:06:20,820
but I like the thought.
187
00:06:20,889 --> 00:06:22,322
?
188
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:24,157
- Morning, Stanley.
- Morning, Ben.
189
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,726
I think it's weird that you know
all the janitors' names.
190
00:06:26,828 --> 00:06:28,561
I think it's weird that you don't.
191
00:06:29,731 --> 00:06:31,598
You've got to be kidding me.
192
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,868
Sven Chang has been killing it
with the ladies lately.
193
00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:36,669
Even Chloe!
194
00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:38,571
Yeah, my Chloe.
195
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,540
I don't get it.
What's so great about him?
196
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:43,343
I guess they think he's cool
because he's super diverse.
197
00:06:43,378 --> 00:06:46,145
The guy is Swedish,
Chinese, and Brazilian.
198
00:06:46,214 --> 00:06:47,547
We just had a Multicultural unit,
199
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,316
and it was like a week-long
Sven Chang propaganda piece.
200
00:06:50,385 --> 00:06:51,751
Well, you're diverse.
201
00:06:51,853 --> 00:06:53,887
You're Indian and whatever dad is.
202
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,321
New Jersian, I guess.
203
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:56,656
But nobody knows that.
204
00:06:56,725 --> 00:06:58,191
My name is Ben Schuman!
205
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,159
I sound like I'm an orthodontist
with an herb garden.
206
00:07:00,228 --> 00:07:02,862
Too bad you didn't get
this multiracial skin
207
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,430
or a name like Soraya.
208
00:07:04,499 --> 00:07:06,266
I-I just wish there was a way
209
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:08,001
to showcase my Indian side.
210
00:07:08,103 --> 00:07:10,236
Dude, Sven Chang just brought in these!
211
00:07:10,338 --> 00:07:11,871
Have some Swedish meatball dumplings.
212
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:13,072
You gotta try them.
213
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:17,210
Angelo, you just gave me a great idea.
214
00:07:17,279 --> 00:07:19,679
God, I love Sven Chang!
215
00:07:19,781 --> 00:07:20,847
ALEX: Okay.
216
00:07:20,916 --> 00:07:23,650
So, all we need is an authentic,
one-syllable name
217
00:07:23,718 --> 00:07:26,019
that reminds people of a bygone era,
218
00:07:26,087 --> 00:07:28,288
either includes
or definitely doesn't include
219
00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:29,822
the word "podcast,"
220
00:07:29,891 --> 00:07:32,525
is familiar but not too familiar,
221
00:07:32,627 --> 00:07:34,327
doesn't think it's better than you,
222
00:07:34,396 --> 00:07:38,264
and possibly has two meanings,
like the movie "Face Off."
223
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,667
[Sighs] Naming stuff is hard.
224
00:07:40,735 --> 00:07:42,735
This is why I never buy plants.
225
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,203
Yeah, and even if you like a name today,
226
00:07:44,272 --> 00:07:45,939
doesn't mean that you're gonna
like it tomorrow.
227
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,309
When I was a kid, I named
my imaginary friend Fuzzybottom,
228
00:07:49,377 --> 00:07:52,045
and now I feel kind of silly
calling her that.
229
00:07:52,147 --> 00:07:54,447
Maybe we should just go with
Deirdre's name guys.
230
00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,716
I read online they came up with
"Hot Pockets."
231
00:07:56,818 --> 00:07:58,551
I mean, they're obviously talented.
232
00:07:58,653 --> 00:08:00,153
Come on, you guys. We can do this.
233
00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:01,321
This is our identity.
234
00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:03,823
It's gonna tell people who we are.
235
00:08:03,925 --> 00:08:05,124
So...
236
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,493
Who are we?
237
00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:13,433
?
238
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,701
You know what?
239
00:08:14,803 --> 00:08:16,736
Maybe we should take
a little break, clear our heads.
240
00:08:18,179 --> 00:08:20,473
I got an idea.
241
00:08:20,575 --> 00:08:22,442
Surprising Alex with a pizza party
242
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,710
was a great idea, Mom.
243
00:08:23,812 --> 00:08:25,144
Well, you said to be nice.
244
00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:27,447
Your auntie was the inspiration.
245
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,116
She used to surprise
your cousin Debesh with snacks
246
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,451
while he was pulling all-nighters
247
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,686
recording his cover
of "Raspberry Beret."
248
00:08:33,788 --> 00:08:35,088
I know Dad likes pizzas,
249
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:36,990
but I would have preferred samosas.
250
00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:38,958
We Bengalis have
a different name for samosas.
251
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,326
We call them "singaras."
252
00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:42,328
[Elevator bell dings]
253
00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:44,464
That's awesome.
254
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,300
Do you think you can show me
how to make them sometime?
255
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:50,470
Like, enough to feed
a classroom-amount of people?
256
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,804
Of course.
257
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,940
These things are an important
part of your identity.
258
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:56,442
?
259
00:08:56,544 --> 00:08:59,412
So, is this some kind of a sweatshop?
260
00:08:59,514 --> 00:09:01,748
I know it's a little funky,
261
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:03,916
but everyone here is working hard
262
00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,084
to pursue their dreams.
263
00:09:05,186 --> 00:09:06,919
And no one works harder than Alex.
264
00:09:07,022 --> 00:09:08,588
I actually think you'll be impressed
265
00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:09,789
when you see him in action.
266
00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:11,457
ALEX: I'm gonna land
on that little rock over there!
267
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:12,525
MAN: Go for it.
268
00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:15,906
Oh, look at these cute little creatures!
269
00:09:15,984 --> 00:09:18,351
- Hit them with the fireball!
- Oh, I don't want to hurt them. Aah!
270
00:09:18,421 --> 00:09:20,466
- They're the bad guys! They're bad guys.
- They're attacking my legs!
271
00:09:20,568 --> 00:09:21,768
They're attacking me!
272
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:22,769
- I'm sorry.
- I gotta get outta here!
273
00:09:22,871 --> 00:09:23,803
Just hold on.
274
00:09:23,905 --> 00:09:26,606
Aah! Aah!
275
00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:29,175
It is nice to see him in action.
276
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,112
I was so obsessed
277
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:32,925
with how I'd embarrassed myself
in front of Joya
278
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:35,143
that I couldn't even focus
on the name search.
279
00:09:35,214 --> 00:09:36,279
Thrust.
280
00:09:36,382 --> 00:09:38,515
Grind.
281
00:09:38,584 --> 00:09:40,252
Hump.
282
00:09:40,315 --> 00:09:41,918
I used to have glutes like that.
283
00:09:42,432 --> 00:09:45,214
- Too much upkeep.
- Alex!
284
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,621
Sorry, guys. I'm just... I'm in my head.
285
00:09:47,684 --> 00:09:49,238
Rooni was acting so weird this morning.
286
00:09:49,309 --> 00:09:50,842
Maybe Joya's finally getting to her.
287
00:09:50,944 --> 00:09:52,310
I'm pretty sure she was the one
288
00:09:52,412 --> 00:09:54,212
who locked you in that
broom closet at your wedding.
289
00:09:54,281 --> 00:09:55,447
Really?
290
00:09:55,515 --> 00:09:57,615
Whoever it was brought a hammer
and nails to my wedding.
291
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,684
I just can't imagine
somebody not liking you.
292
00:09:59,786 --> 00:10:00,885
I mean, you're Alex.
293
00:10:00,954 --> 00:10:02,787
You're the reason people
wake up in the morning.
294
00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:04,923
Some people. Not me.
295
00:10:05,025 --> 00:10:06,191
Hey, if it makes you feel any better,
296
00:10:06,259 --> 00:10:07,792
Indian women aren't into me, either.
297
00:10:07,861 --> 00:10:11,029
Now, Pakistani women...
they can't get enough.
298
00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:12,597
Turns out, I am one of the many things
299
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:13,965
those countries don't agree on.
300
00:10:14,067 --> 00:10:15,300
I just wish there was some way
301
00:10:15,368 --> 00:10:16,701
to change Joya's mind about me.
302
00:10:16,803 --> 00:10:18,036
Yeah, well, we could work on that
303
00:10:18,105 --> 00:10:19,270
or we could talk about a name.
304
00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:20,572
You're right. I'm sorry.
305
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,107
- Let's focus.
- Okay.
306
00:10:22,175 --> 00:10:24,542
[Cellphone plays Indian music]
307
00:10:24,611 --> 00:10:26,978
I'll be right back.
308
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,113
Dad, where are we going?
309
00:10:28,215 --> 00:10:29,581
It's a surprise, but don't worry.
310
00:10:29,649 --> 00:10:31,349
- You're gonna love it.
- You better not be taking me
311
00:10:31,451 --> 00:10:33,785
to put on a robot hat
and have gremlins eat my legs.
312
00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:35,186
Yesterday, I couldn't help but notice
313
00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:36,387
you were a little disappointed
314
00:10:36,490 --> 00:10:38,223
that our family
doesn't celebrate Holi...
315
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:41,292
A holiday that signifies
fresh starts, forgiveness,
316
00:10:41,394 --> 00:10:43,261
repairing broken relationships.
317
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:45,096
Are you taking us to a Holi?!
318
00:10:45,198 --> 00:10:46,931
Awesome, we're gonna get messy!
319
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,500
Alex, that is very sweet!
320
00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:50,935
You know, I have some of
the most wonderful memories
321
00:10:51,037 --> 00:10:52,170
of Holi as a child.
322
00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:53,805
Well, prepare to have
some more wonderful memories
323
00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:55,140
of Holi as an adult!
324
00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:57,442
- [Electronic music plays]
- MAN: That's right, baby!
325
00:10:57,544 --> 00:10:59,544
[Cheering]
326
00:10:59,613 --> 00:11:01,613
This isn't Holi!
327
00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:03,648
I think I'm the only Indian person here.
328
00:11:03,717 --> 00:11:05,383
Guess I should've read
the website closer.
329
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:06,818
This juice tastes funny.
330
00:11:06,887 --> 00:11:08,987
- I can't feel my face.
- Give me that!
331
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:11,089
Look, Joya, I know this isn't probably
332
00:11:11,191 --> 00:11:12,657
the kind of Holi you're used to,
333
00:11:12,726 --> 00:11:14,425
but I think we can still have fun.
334
00:11:14,528 --> 00:11:15,894
Holi!
335
00:11:15,996 --> 00:11:17,362
?
336
00:11:17,464 --> 00:11:20,064
You know what? It's not that fun.
337
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:22,534
[Spitting]
338
00:11:23,937 --> 00:11:25,203
The important thing to remember
339
00:11:25,272 --> 00:11:26,938
is that this is one of those
freak things that happens,
340
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,573
and it really isn't anyone's fault.
341
00:11:28,642 --> 00:11:30,241
Go dry off. I want to talk to your dad.
342
00:11:30,277 --> 00:11:32,811
Or you know what, stay here
and we'll all go in together.
343
00:11:33,547 --> 00:11:35,814
Stay strong, Dad.
344
00:11:35,882 --> 00:11:38,216
We'll see you on the other side.
345
00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:43,588
Ow! It's too pointy!
That's my nighttime zone!
346
00:11:43,657 --> 00:11:45,357
Why couldn't you just do what I asked?
347
00:11:45,436 --> 00:11:47,192
I tried. But you don't know
what it's like
348
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:48,459
having to deal with your
mother's constant disapproval.
349
00:11:48,528 --> 00:11:50,161
You think I don't know what that's like?
350
00:11:50,263 --> 00:11:51,170
I'm just saying,
351
00:11:51,264 --> 00:11:52,664
I could use a little bit
more support with your mother.
352
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,566
[Spits, coughs]
353
00:11:54,634 --> 00:11:56,401
You want to talk about support?
354
00:11:56,503 --> 00:11:57,869
Where's my support?
355
00:11:57,971 --> 00:12:00,171
While you're off chasing your dreams,
356
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,941
I'm here struggling
to hold our lives together.
357
00:12:03,009 --> 00:12:05,176
You think I wanted
to ask my mom for help?
358
00:12:05,245 --> 00:12:06,544
Wait, you asked her to come?
359
00:12:06,646 --> 00:12:07,645
I needed help,
360
00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:09,747
and I knew if I asked you,
you'd freak out.
361
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:11,216
I cannot believe you lied to me.
362
00:12:11,284 --> 00:12:13,184
We're supposed to be honest
with each other no matter what.
363
00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:14,986
- You want honesty?
- Yes.
364
00:12:15,088 --> 00:12:16,554
I'm scared.
365
00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:19,657
We have so much riding on this...
366
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:22,694
our savings, this house, our careers...
367
00:12:22,796 --> 00:12:25,363
and you can't even name
your own company.
368
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:29,258
I love that you're the guy
with these big dreams.
369
00:12:29,344 --> 00:12:30,376
But right now,
370
00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,971
I need you to be the guy
who can get things done.
371
00:12:33,073 --> 00:12:33,972
?
372
00:12:34,074 --> 00:12:37,375
[Door opens, closes]
373
00:12:37,477 --> 00:12:38,643
[Coughs]
374
00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:40,709
After what Rooni said,
375
00:12:40,748 --> 00:12:42,256
it was time
to call in the professionals.
376
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,373
Let me tell you a little bit
about what we do.
377
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:45,559
We name things.
378
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,164
- Mm.
- Let me tell you a little more.
379
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,348
- We name the crap out of things.
- Mm!
380
00:12:50,426 --> 00:12:52,059
Well, that's great
because we need a name,
381
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:53,301
and for whatever reason,
382
00:12:53,403 --> 00:12:55,149
it's been impossible for us
to come up with one.
383
00:12:55,231 --> 00:12:57,432
Impossible is our specialty!
384
00:12:57,509 --> 00:13:01,476
Mindr, Findr, Bindr, Windr... All us.
385
00:13:01,546 --> 00:13:02,921
Show them the dogs.
386
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:06,656
Celebrity dogs... Named... them... all.
387
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,377
- I told you these guys were very good.
- That's good.
388
00:13:08,479 --> 00:13:09,645
So, does that answer your question?
389
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,013
I don't think we asked a question.
390
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,481
No, we never got a chance
to ask questions.
391
00:13:12,550 --> 00:13:13,592
No, not out loud.
392
00:13:13,648 --> 00:13:15,882
Um, but, do you have a name for us?
393
00:13:15,951 --> 00:13:18,251
Uh, yeah, I'd say we have a name.
394
00:13:18,411 --> 00:13:20,087
?
395
00:13:20,189 --> 00:13:22,055
Squiz Media.
396
00:13:22,124 --> 00:13:23,824
What's a Squiz?
397
00:13:23,892 --> 00:13:24,925
It isn't anything.
398
00:13:24,994 --> 00:13:26,433
You don't have to worry about people
399
00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:29,696
having any pre-existing
negative associations.
400
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:33,233
So, how does Squiz relate
to our identity as a company?
401
00:13:33,302 --> 00:13:35,335
Nobody cares about that stuff, A-money.
402
00:13:35,404 --> 00:13:38,538
This has been focus-grouped
from Maine to Spain.
403
00:13:38,641 --> 00:13:40,340
Squiz is a sure thing.
404
00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:42,774
It's fun. It's sharp.
405
00:13:42,852 --> 00:13:43,977
[Whispering] It's now.
406
00:13:44,046 --> 00:13:45,445
[Whispering] Right now.
407
00:13:45,514 --> 00:13:46,680
So, what do you say?
408
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,649
W-We do need a name ASAP,
409
00:13:48,717 --> 00:13:51,918
and y-you did test it
from Maine to Spain.
410
00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:54,254
Uh, okay. Uh...
411
00:13:54,356 --> 00:13:56,456
Let's go with Squiz.
412
00:13:56,525 --> 00:13:57,524
- Yeah.
- Whoo!
413
00:13:57,626 --> 00:13:58,925
We're in Squiz-ness.
414
00:13:58,994 --> 00:14:00,427
- Yay.
- DEIRDRE: Cool.
415
00:14:00,496 --> 00:14:04,531
You may know these as samosas,
but in the Bengal,
416
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:08,502
where my family is from,
we call them singaras.
417
00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:10,804
I saved the biggest one for you, Chloe.
418
00:14:10,906 --> 00:14:12,005
This looks amazing.
419
00:14:12,107 --> 00:14:13,774
It's an old family recipe.
420
00:14:13,842 --> 00:14:16,276
Tradition is very important
in my culture.
421
00:14:18,243 --> 00:14:19,267
Ooh!
422
00:14:19,328 --> 00:14:20,741
Sorry, Sven.
423
00:14:20,774 --> 00:14:21,848
Must have miscounted.
424
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:25,232
All right, everyone... [speaking Nepali]
425
00:14:25,302 --> 00:14:28,474
Or as my French great-grandfather
426
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:32,424
on my dad's side
would say, bon appetite!
427
00:14:32,961 --> 00:14:35,962
?
428
00:14:37,866 --> 00:14:42,436
[All coughing]
429
00:14:43,639 --> 00:14:44,705
GIRL: Too spicy!
430
00:14:44,807 --> 00:14:45,672
?
431
00:14:46,896 --> 00:14:49,976
Oh, no. We went too authentic!
432
00:14:50,045 --> 00:14:51,344
Why?!
433
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:52,546
My insides are on fire!
434
00:14:52,648 --> 00:14:55,010
My organs are staging a revolution!
435
00:14:55,088 --> 00:14:56,516
Don't worry, Chloe. The singaras here.
436
00:14:56,618 --> 00:14:58,218
Stay with me, stay with me.
437
00:14:58,287 --> 00:14:59,853
I hate you, Ben Schuman!
438
00:14:59,955 --> 00:15:02,889
I'm assuming you're finished?
439
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:04,558
He has a juice box!
440
00:15:04,626 --> 00:15:06,393
WOMAN: Angelo, sit down!
441
00:15:06,495 --> 00:15:09,362
Everyone sit down!
442
00:15:09,431 --> 00:15:12,663
I've never been to war,
but it can't be worse
443
00:15:12,725 --> 00:15:14,735
than what happened
in that classroom today.
444
00:15:15,604 --> 00:15:18,338
The school paper is calling it
"The Singara Horra."
445
00:15:18,407 --> 00:15:21,282
Oh, Ben, I am so sorry.
446
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:22,712
I guess I'm just not used to
447
00:15:22,774 --> 00:15:24,745
cooking for American children.
448
00:15:24,813 --> 00:15:25,912
I don't get it.
449
00:15:25,981 --> 00:15:28,749
Why is it so hard
to get girls to like me?
450
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,550
You used to be a girl.
451
00:15:30,652 --> 00:15:33,420
- What did Grandpa do to get you?
- [Laughs]
452
00:15:33,522 --> 00:15:35,314
Your grandfather didn't do anything.
453
00:15:35,377 --> 00:15:37,494
It was an arranged marriage.
454
00:15:37,549 --> 00:15:39,781
My father talked to his father,
we met once,
455
00:15:39,843 --> 00:15:41,605
and then, that was it. We were married.
456
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:42,796
That sounds so much easier.
457
00:15:42,865 --> 00:15:44,097
How can I get one of those?
458
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:45,932
Arranged marriages aren't all great.
459
00:15:46,034 --> 00:15:47,734
It worked for me, but you're lucky
460
00:15:47,836 --> 00:15:50,570
to live someplace where you
get to choose your own partner.
461
00:15:50,672 --> 00:15:53,240
One reason why your grandfather
and I moved to this country
462
00:15:53,308 --> 00:15:55,842
was so that our children
could know that kind of freedom.
463
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,277
So...
464
00:15:57,346 --> 00:16:01,148
you're not mad that Mom chose
to marry Dad over Dr. Sandeep?
465
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:02,849
What? [Laughs] No.
466
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,818
Why would you think that?
467
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,613
Well, it's pretty obvious
468
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,421
that you don't like my dad very much.
469
00:16:08,446 --> 00:16:09,466
?
470
00:16:09,491 --> 00:16:12,325
Sweetheart, that is not true.
471
00:16:12,394 --> 00:16:14,995
Your father is a good man.
472
00:16:15,097 --> 00:16:17,130
We might not see eye-to-eye
on everything,
473
00:16:17,232 --> 00:16:19,800
but he takes good care of you
474
00:16:19,902 --> 00:16:23,003
and he makes your mother very happy.
475
00:16:23,071 --> 00:16:24,538
ALEX: Hey, Alex Schuman.
476
00:16:24,606 --> 00:16:27,808
Squiz Media, double handshake.
477
00:16:27,910 --> 00:16:29,142
[Sighs]
478
00:16:29,244 --> 00:16:30,510
[Sighs]
479
00:16:30,555 --> 00:16:31,588
I'm a Squizzer.
480
00:16:31,613 --> 00:16:33,180
Alex, can I interrupt...
481
00:16:33,282 --> 00:16:35,415
whatever it is that's going on here?
482
00:16:35,517 --> 00:16:38,318
Joya, I'm really not in the mood
to be insulted right now.
483
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:39,486
Okay.
484
00:16:39,555 --> 00:16:42,644
Look, I know that I have
given you a hard time
485
00:16:42,691 --> 00:16:44,144
about starting this company.
486
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:46,246
I also know, more than most,
487
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:48,027
that it takes a lot of courage
488
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,230
to leave what you know behind
489
00:16:49,277 --> 00:16:51,431
in order to give yourself
and your family a better life.
490
00:16:52,235 --> 00:16:53,334
Thank you.
491
00:16:54,627 --> 00:16:57,103
I gotta say, it's a lot harder
than I thought.
492
00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:59,606
I know Rooni told you she was worried,
493
00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:01,741
but I have to be honest.
494
00:17:02,281 --> 00:17:03,580
I'm worried, too.
495
00:17:03,642 --> 00:17:05,712
I have everything on the line.
496
00:17:07,015 --> 00:17:09,015
I'm going to tell you a story.
497
00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:12,182
So, get your giant microphone
out of your manny-pac.
498
00:17:12,268 --> 00:17:13,628
- It's going to be a good one.
- Really?
499
00:17:13,722 --> 00:17:15,622
That's great.
You know, the sound out here...
500
00:17:15,724 --> 00:17:16,890
The sound is fine.
501
00:17:19,428 --> 00:17:21,461
When I was a little girl in Calcutta,
502
00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,973
my grandfather treated me differently
503
00:17:24,035 --> 00:17:25,498
than he treated all of the sisters
504
00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:26,833
and the girl-cousins.
505
00:17:26,902 --> 00:17:28,869
He treated me, for some reason,
506
00:17:28,971 --> 00:17:30,203
like one of the boys.
507
00:17:30,272 --> 00:17:32,706
He would send me, all by myself,
508
00:17:32,774 --> 00:17:34,941
to the market to get potatoes
509
00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:37,377
or hilsa... the king of the fish...
510
00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:39,579
when I was no older than Soraya.
511
00:17:39,681 --> 00:17:41,848
That's so young.
You must have been terrified.
512
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:44,417
I was. And I told my dadu.
513
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:47,153
And he sat me down, and he said,
514
00:17:47,222 --> 00:17:50,657
"You don't even know
what you are afraid of.
515
00:17:50,759 --> 00:17:53,405
You must never fear ajana,"
516
00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:56,129
which in Bengali means "the unknown."
517
00:17:56,198 --> 00:17:58,965
"Because," he went on to say,
518
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,936
"ajana is where
all the good things happen."
519
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:06,339
I never forgot that.
520
00:18:06,408 --> 00:18:09,142
And even now,
every time that I'm afraid,
521
00:18:09,211 --> 00:18:11,478
I see that little 7-year-old girl
522
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:13,280
throwing her shoulders back
523
00:18:13,382 --> 00:18:16,965
and marching into
that crowded market in Calcutta.
524
00:18:18,426 --> 00:18:19,505
So...
525
00:18:20,889 --> 00:18:24,358
throw your shoulders back, Alex Schuman.
526
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:29,629
?
527
00:18:38,393 --> 00:18:40,307
Wow, hi.
528
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:42,475
I'm guessing things went well
at the branding agency?
529
00:18:42,544 --> 00:18:44,024
They came up with a name for us.
530
00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:45,594
They said it was a sure thing
531
00:18:45,672 --> 00:18:47,981
that tested well from Maine to Spain,
532
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:49,115
and I'm not using it.
533
00:18:49,217 --> 00:18:50,583
Wait, you're not?
534
00:18:50,652 --> 00:18:51,885
I-I'm so confused.
535
00:18:51,954 --> 00:18:52,979
I just had
536
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:55,221
the most incredible conversation
with your mother.
537
00:18:55,324 --> 00:18:56,957
Okay, now I'm really confused.
538
00:18:57,025 --> 00:18:59,559
She told me this awesome story
from her childhood,
539
00:18:59,661 --> 00:19:01,294
and it just made me realize...
540
00:19:01,363 --> 00:19:03,029
we're not "sure thing" people.
541
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,998
That's not us.
542
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,535
You know, my old job was a sure thing,
543
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,691
and I hated it.
544
00:19:07,754 --> 00:19:10,937
And... And I'll bet you handsome
Dr. Sandeep was a sure thing,
545
00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:13,506
and yet you chose a dreamer
with large features.
546
00:19:14,543 --> 00:19:18,092
Babe, we follow our hearts
547
00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:19,813
and we embrace the unknown.
548
00:19:20,523 --> 00:19:23,257
And sometimes, it is so scary.
549
00:19:23,304 --> 00:19:24,217
But it's also...
550
00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:26,586
Where all the best stuff happens.
551
00:19:26,688 --> 00:19:28,288
She told you about ajana.
552
00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:29,255
?
553
00:19:29,358 --> 00:19:31,758
That's it.
554
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,859
What's what?
555
00:19:32,961 --> 00:19:35,068
That's the name of our company...
556
00:19:35,176 --> 00:19:37,605
Ajana, the unknown.
557
00:19:37,964 --> 00:19:39,802
It's perfect!
558
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,234
So much better than TURD.
559
00:19:41,336 --> 00:19:43,737
I have to do something amazing
for your mother.
560
00:19:43,839 --> 00:19:45,505
Don't worry,
I won't do anything too crazy.
561
00:19:45,607 --> 00:19:48,108
Actually, I think
I know something she'd like
562
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,642
that is a little crazy.
563
00:19:49,745 --> 00:19:53,313
[Indian music plays]
564
00:19:54,349 --> 00:19:55,982
? One, two ?
565
00:19:56,084 --> 00:19:58,339
? One, two, three, go ?
566
00:19:58,441 --> 00:20:02,122
["Raspberry Beret" plays]
567
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:10,030
? She wore a raspberry beret ?
568
00:20:10,132 --> 00:20:14,234
? The kind you find
in a second-hand store ?
569
00:20:14,336 --> 00:20:17,904
? Raspberry beret ?
570
00:20:18,006 --> 00:20:22,075
? And if it was warm,
she wouldn't wear much more ?
571
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,713
? Raspberry beret ?
572
00:20:27,886 --> 00:20:29,565
Ajana.
573
00:20:29,643 --> 00:20:31,922
Is it me, or does that sound
a little like vag...
574
00:20:31,993 --> 00:20:34,357
Do you really want to go down
that road again?
575
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:36,359
- Love the name, boss!
- Me, too.
576
00:20:36,462 --> 00:20:38,328
But I can't take all the credit.
577
00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:39,329
?
578
00:20:39,431 --> 00:20:40,597
[Laughs]
579
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:43,500
Oh, you bastards messed
with the wrong Bengali!
580
00:20:43,602 --> 00:20:45,769
Oh, what's this?
581
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:47,471
I'm flying!
582
00:20:47,573 --> 00:20:49,739
Alex, I can fly!
583
00:20:49,842 --> 00:20:51,808
Um, you said she was just
gonna be a minute.
584
00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:53,243
I got a bunch of work to do.
585
00:20:53,345 --> 00:20:54,945
I have never seen that woman smile,
586
00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:56,913
so you might wanna
get comfortable, Orson.
587
00:20:57,015 --> 00:20:58,482
I'm flying!
588
00:20:58,506 --> 00:21:03,506
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
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589
00:21:03,556 --> 00:21:08,106
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