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[relaxing acoustic guitar music]
2
00:00:06,855 --> 00:00:09,023
[horn honks]
3
00:00:09,058 --> 00:00:10,925
[music continues playing
from van]
4
00:00:10,959 --> 00:00:13,494
Will: Mr. Idalis,
hey, Will Freeman,
5
00:00:13,529 --> 00:00:16,164
my friend Andy and I crushed the
Hora at your son's wonderful
6
00:00:16,198 --> 00:00:17,687
- bar mitzvah last week.
- Johnny: Yeah.
7
00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:19,954
You pretended to be a gay couple
and then basically destroyed
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00:00:19,988 --> 00:00:22,056
the most sacred moment
of my son's life.
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00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,991
Andy: Lovely event, sir.
I gotta say, the highlight
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00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,559
for me had to be
the chopped liver.
11
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,294
- That stuff was delicious.
- Johnny: What... what the hell
12
00:00:27,329 --> 00:00:29,830
- are you doing on my street?
- Will: Okay, so I wrote this song
13
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,398
and I think it's super special.
14
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:33,600
And believe me, I'm not one to
blow smoke up my own skirt.
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00:00:33,635 --> 00:00:36,570
Johnny: You're following me
while I jog with my dog.
16
00:00:36,605 --> 00:00:37,905
That is...
That is so uncool.
17
00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:39,273
Will: Go, go, go!
Dig in!
18
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,408
Listen, why don't you just
listen to the song,
19
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:43,777
and if you hate it, we'll get
out of here, okay?
20
00:00:43,812 --> 00:00:45,446
Johnny: You know...
21
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,815
what you're doing
is so disturbing
22
00:00:47,849 --> 00:00:51,385
and arguably psychotic,
but the song isn't terrible.
23
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,387
You don't have a hook,
you need a hook.
24
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,089
So get a hook and then maybe
we'll have something
25
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,523
- to talk about.
- Will: Oh, good!
26
00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:58,993
I'll get you the sweetest hook
you've ever seen!
27
00:00:59,027 --> 00:01:00,260
What... what are you doing?
28
00:01:00,295 --> 00:01:01,629
- Andy: Sir!
- Johnny: What?
29
00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:04,031
Andy: I'd consider it a solid
if you would hook me up
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00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:07,701
with your chopped liver guy.
Is it a deli, or a caterer or...
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00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:09,703
- Will: What are you doing?
- Andy: It was delicious!
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00:01:09,738 --> 00:01:11,171
Here we go.
33
00:01:11,206 --> 00:01:14,739
[Brett Dennen's Comeback Kid(That's My Dog)]
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00:01:14,788 --> 00:01:17,290
Brett:
Well, maybe
it's the common curse
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00:01:17,324 --> 00:01:20,693
Maybe things get bad
before they get worse
36
00:01:20,728 --> 00:01:22,562
I don't want
to become someone
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00:01:22,596 --> 00:01:26,299
Who can't live up
to what I already done, don't
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00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:27,867
Here comes a comeback
39
00:01:27,902 --> 00:01:30,570
The kid is back,
is back on track
40
00:01:30,604 --> 00:01:33,573
And there goes my hero
41
00:01:33,607 --> 00:01:37,443
He's the underdog,
he's coming out on top, and
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00:01:37,478 --> 00:01:39,979
[cheers and applause]
43
00:01:40,014 --> 00:01:43,783
Fiona: Hello, darling, how
was your day of learning then?
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00:01:43,817 --> 00:01:47,387
Marcus: Well, on a scale of
great to sucked,
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00:01:47,421 --> 00:01:48,755
it sucked mightily.
46
00:01:48,789 --> 00:01:52,492
Fiona: Oh, no.
Here, do you want a biscuit?
47
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:55,395
Marcus: Man, Mr. Chris
is the most annoying teacher
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00:01:55,429 --> 00:01:57,463
- on the planet.
- Fiona: What?
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00:01:57,498 --> 00:01:59,466
Marcus: I wish he'd just teach
instead of boring us
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00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,834
with his inane tales of travel.
51
00:02:01,869 --> 00:02:05,638
Yeah, we get it, buddy,
you got a passport.
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00:02:05,673 --> 00:02:07,273
Fiona: Darling, are you upset
'cause Mr. Chris
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00:02:07,308 --> 00:02:08,608
and I are dating?
54
00:02:08,642 --> 00:02:11,010
Marcus: A-bup-bup-bup!
Not listening.
55
00:02:11,045 --> 00:02:13,413
Not listening.
56
00:02:15,716 --> 00:02:18,785
Are we set up for our
Paint Our Feelings Night?
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00:02:22,056 --> 00:02:25,191
Why are there three easels?
58
00:02:25,226 --> 00:02:28,328
Bob: With a large brush...
59
00:02:28,362 --> 00:02:30,029
let us pool that...
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00:02:30,064 --> 00:02:32,332
and then it'll mix
with a liquid white...
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00:02:32,366 --> 00:02:34,234
Chris: Well, look at that.
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00:02:34,268 --> 00:02:37,070
- Fiona: It's amazing, isn't it?
- Chris: Yeah, that is amazing.
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00:02:37,104 --> 00:02:40,173
You know, I studied painting
with true masters at Arte Umbria
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00:02:40,207 --> 00:02:42,709
just outside of Firenze,
and I gotta say
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00:02:42,743 --> 00:02:43,910
this guy's pretty good.
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00:02:43,944 --> 00:02:46,312
- For a lot less lira.
- Fiona: [laughs]
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00:02:46,347 --> 00:02:49,048
Marcus: Can I paint my friggin'
mountaintop in peace, please?
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00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:51,451
Fiona: Marcus!
Well...
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00:02:51,485 --> 00:02:54,754
now's the part where we
typically share our work,
70
00:02:54,788 --> 00:02:58,091
obviously with a safety net
of no criticism,
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00:02:58,125 --> 00:03:01,094
just appreciation for each
other's inner vision.
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00:03:01,128 --> 00:03:03,163
- So I'll share first.
- Chris: All right.
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00:03:03,197 --> 00:03:07,133
Let's see here.
Oh, Fiona, this is beautiful.
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00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,836
Fiona: I'd climb every
mountain with you.
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00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:12,205
Maybe fjord every stream
if you're lucky.
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00:03:12,239 --> 00:03:14,240
- Chris: I like the sound of that.
- Fiona: Ooh. [giggles]
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00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:16,776
Marcus: Seriously?
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00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:19,078
Chris: Well,
here's my little effort.
79
00:03:19,113 --> 00:03:21,581
Fiona: Chris, that's brilliant!
80
00:03:21,615 --> 00:03:23,883
Marcus: The lake's a little
showy.
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00:03:23,918 --> 00:03:26,152
Anyways, here's mine.
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00:03:26,187 --> 00:03:27,587
Both: Oh.
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00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,789
Fiona: So that's two people at
the top of the mountain,
84
00:03:29,824 --> 00:03:31,357
- are they?
- Chris: And what's that red bush
85
00:03:31,392 --> 00:03:32,592
at the base?
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00:03:32,626 --> 00:03:34,861
Marcus: One of the climbers got
a little full of himself
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00:03:34,895 --> 00:03:37,130
and then he slipped and fell off
the mountain,
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00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:39,432
and then he caught on fire.
89
00:03:41,068 --> 00:03:42,936
Chris: So those are flames.
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00:03:44,104 --> 00:03:46,940
[mellow chords]
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00:03:51,512 --> 00:03:53,346
Andy:
Baby
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00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:56,316
Baby
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00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:57,951
-
Baby
- Will: No, no, dude!
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00:03:57,985 --> 00:04:00,587
Honestly, I just need you
to just calm down.
95
00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:01,788
Andy: I got the hook.
96
00:04:01,822 --> 00:04:02,989
- Listen.
- Will: Here we go.
97
00:04:03,023 --> 00:04:04,524
Andy: See, it's all
about the rhyme, right?
98
00:04:04,558 --> 00:04:05,825
Will: Yup.
99
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:10,496
Andy:
I just want to love you
baby
100
00:04:10,531 --> 00:04:15,168
Won't you let me
rub you maybe
101
00:04:15,202 --> 00:04:17,337
Will: I'm surprised John Lennon
didn't come up
102
00:04:17,371 --> 00:04:19,939
- with that little gem there.
- Andy: Right?
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00:04:19,974 --> 00:04:24,310
Will: Okay, please, please,
give me some peace, please.
104
00:04:24,345 --> 00:04:26,746
Andy:
Rub you
105
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:31,117
Rub you maybe
106
00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:33,052
-
Baby
- Will: Dude!
107
00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,087
[door slams]
108
00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:37,390
Fiona: Well, that was very rude.
109
00:04:37,424 --> 00:04:40,960
In your painting you set
Mr. Chris on fire, darling.
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00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:43,196
I mean maybe I should have you
paint your feelings
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00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:44,864
to yourself next time.
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00:04:44,899 --> 00:04:46,733
Marcus: Oh, I'm sorry,
did I just fall through
113
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,535
your safety net of no criticism?
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00:04:48,569 --> 00:04:53,139
Fiona: Uh, Marcus, you know
I'm very fond of Mr. Chris.
115
00:04:53,174 --> 00:04:55,375
And all I want is for you to
make a bit of an effort
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00:04:55,409 --> 00:04:56,976
to connect with him
outside of school.
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00:04:57,011 --> 00:04:59,612
Marcus: About that...
I've concluded that Mr. Chris
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00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,281
isn't right for you and things
should go back
119
00:05:01,315 --> 00:05:02,882
to the way they were.
120
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:05,718
Mom, you and me, we have this
perfect love bubble.
121
00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:08,121
Messing with it could pop it.
122
00:05:08,155 --> 00:05:09,823
Fiona: Right.
[clears throat]
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00:05:09,857 --> 00:05:14,060
I have certain adult needs
which are evocative
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00:05:14,094 --> 00:05:16,496
and quite lovely,
125
00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:19,232
and I am not prepared
to give them up.
126
00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:21,601
Marcus: What about my needs?
Don't my needs matter?
127
00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:24,070
Fiona: Of course they matter,
but in this particular case...
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00:05:24,104 --> 00:05:25,772
Marcus: They matter
less than yours.
129
00:05:25,806 --> 00:05:28,308
Fiona: Marcus, I'm not going to
argue about this,
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00:05:28,342 --> 00:05:30,310
and I'm not going to stop seeing
Mr. Chris.
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00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:31,945
Marcus: Well, that does not work
for me.
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00:05:31,979 --> 00:05:33,947
Fiona: I'm not going to tolerate
this tone.
133
00:05:33,981 --> 00:05:35,882
Marcus: Well, I'm not going to
tolerate Mr. Chris.
134
00:05:35,916 --> 00:05:37,016
Fiona: Well, as long as you live
in this house,
135
00:05:37,051 --> 00:05:40,186
it is my rules.
136
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,324
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who is...
137
00:05:44,358 --> 00:05:46,292
Oh, not now, my mid-pubescent
friend.
138
00:05:46,327 --> 00:05:48,094
Marcus: Okay, look, Will,
I have a situation.
139
00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:50,530
Since my mother no longer
respects my wishes,
140
00:05:50,564 --> 00:05:52,866
I can no longer live
under her roof.
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00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,968
Will: I'm sensing
a lot of anger.
142
00:05:55,002 --> 00:05:56,402
What...
Uh, pillow/duffel combo
143
00:05:56,437 --> 00:05:58,238
is concerning me
a little here.
144
00:05:58,272 --> 00:06:01,241
- Marcus: Move it, Andy.
- Andy: He just elbowed me.
145
00:06:01,275 --> 00:06:03,076
Marcus: I'm moving in, Will.
Sometimes an almost-man
146
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:05,044
has to do what an almost-man
has to do.
147
00:06:05,079 --> 00:06:06,846
Will: Marcus, this is not th...
148
00:06:06,881 --> 00:06:08,414
Marcus: So you gonna
make up the couch
149
00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:09,616
or are we sleeping together?
And do you have a towel?
150
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,751
Because I'm a bit of a
sleep-sweater.
151
00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:14,521
I tend to sweat the bed.
152
00:06:14,555 --> 00:06:16,956
Andy:
Sweatin' the bed
153
00:06:16,991 --> 00:06:18,825
Sweatin' the bed
154
00:06:20,876 --> 00:06:22,777
[spiritual music]
155
00:06:24,023 --> 00:06:25,624
Will: Hey, Fiona, you need to
come get Marcus
156
00:06:25,658 --> 00:06:27,926
back immediately.
Fiona, hey!
157
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,594
Out.
Snap out. Done.
158
00:06:29,629 --> 00:06:31,997
- Come on.
- Fiona: Look, I'm torn.
159
00:06:32,031 --> 00:06:33,832
That's why I'm out here
meditating...
160
00:06:33,866 --> 00:06:36,535
I'm trying to seek guidance
from my spirit animal.
161
00:06:36,569 --> 00:06:38,437
Will: It isn't that raccoon
that's been digging around
162
00:06:38,471 --> 00:06:39,571
my trash, is it?
163
00:06:39,605 --> 00:06:43,542
Fiona: Part of me wants to just
gather up my little baby
164
00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:46,645
and bring him back
to his womb home immediately.
165
00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:48,914
But there's another part of me
that is wondering whether
166
00:06:48,948 --> 00:06:50,882
the awakening man inside the boy
doesn't need to
167
00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:54,619
just stretch and test his
boundaries a bit.
168
00:06:54,654 --> 00:06:56,254
Will: Okay, that's all
well and good,
169
00:06:56,289 --> 00:06:58,924
but you need to get your
awakening man-boy
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00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:00,225
out of my womb home.
171
00:07:00,259 --> 00:07:02,160
Hom...
Home.
172
00:07:02,195 --> 00:07:03,995
Get your kid out of my house.
173
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:06,298
- Fiona: Oh, we've decided.
- Will: We've decided what?
174
00:07:06,332 --> 00:07:09,167
- Fiona: Wait.
- [music continues playing]
175
00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:11,036
Yes.
[laughs]
176
00:07:11,070 --> 00:07:15,073
Yes.
Oh, namaste, spirit, namaste.
177
00:07:15,108 --> 00:07:17,376
Raven says Marcus should make
his own way home.
178
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:19,478
Will: You know, my womb home
is being affected here.
179
00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:22,047
I believe my voodoo animal
should have a vote, huh?
180
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:23,782
Fiona: It's only gonna
be for one night.
181
00:07:23,816 --> 00:07:27,018
- He will miss me.
- Will: One night.
182
00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,721
Just got boned by a raven.
183
00:07:31,924 --> 00:07:34,759
Alright, Marcus,
what's going on here?
184
00:07:34,794 --> 00:07:37,295
Marcus: What's going on here is
Mr. Chris.
185
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:39,164
He's already destroyed my school
life and now
186
00:07:39,198 --> 00:07:41,900
he's threatening to ruin
my home life.
187
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:44,536
Ugh!
If I were a violent man I'd...
188
00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:46,905
I'd take a swing at this pillow.
189
00:07:46,939 --> 00:07:50,642
Will: I appreciate you not
raging against my Euro sham,
190
00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:53,078
but there's some ground rules
while you're here
191
00:07:53,112 --> 00:07:54,780
for this very brief stay.
192
00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:58,950
I need you to basically not talk
so I can write a silky hook
193
00:07:58,985 --> 00:08:00,152
that is eluding the crap
out of me.
194
00:08:00,186 --> 00:08:01,520
Here we go.
195
00:08:01,554 --> 00:08:02,888
Marcus: You won't even know
I'm here, roomie.
196
00:08:02,922 --> 00:08:04,389
Will: Please call me Will
when you're not talking.
197
00:08:04,424 --> 00:08:06,825
Marcus: I'm going to go upstairs
because if I don't get a good
198
00:08:06,859 --> 00:08:10,028
soak in at night, I am basically
useless in the morning.
199
00:08:10,062 --> 00:08:13,699
Will: Okay, I got some lyrics,
I got some music.
200
00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:15,067
Let's bring it home.
201
00:08:15,101 --> 00:08:17,936
Marcus: Uh, hey, roomie,
sorry to interrupt your hook,
202
00:08:17,970 --> 00:08:19,371
but I don't know where
the bathtub is.
203
00:08:19,405 --> 00:08:21,506
Will: I don't have a bathtub.
204
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:23,842
- You can take a shower.
- Marcus: Oh, shower.
205
00:08:23,876 --> 00:08:25,777
- Will: Mm-hmm.
- Marcus: Yeah, I can rock
206
00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:27,679
a shower.
207
00:08:34,153 --> 00:08:37,155
Will: Okay, come on,
come on now.
208
00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:39,491
Come to me
209
00:08:39,525 --> 00:08:42,094
My sweet hook
210
00:08:42,128 --> 00:08:46,064
Could I find you
211
00:08:46,099 --> 00:08:49,101
In a book
212
00:08:49,135 --> 00:08:50,135
[sighs]
213
00:08:50,169 --> 00:08:54,606
Could I find you
214
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,608
In a truck
215
00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:58,243
Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.
216
00:08:58,277 --> 00:08:59,644
[splat]
217
00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:03,281
What?
218
00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:04,416
[splat]
Ugh!
219
00:09:04,450 --> 00:09:06,985
Marcus!
220
00:09:07,019 --> 00:09:08,553
Marcus, what the hell
are you doing?
221
00:09:08,588 --> 00:09:11,590
Marcus: Showering, roomie.
Ooh, do you have a loofah?
222
00:09:11,624 --> 00:09:14,192
- Will: Wh the hell is a loofah?
- Marcus: Ha ha! Look at that!
223
00:09:18,064 --> 00:09:20,699
[gargling loudly]
224
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,734
Will: Marcus.
225
00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:24,603
Marcus
226
00:09:24,637 --> 00:09:27,572
[upbeat music]
227
00:09:29,008 --> 00:09:30,709
Man:
I don't wanna go home
228
00:09:30,743 --> 00:09:33,645
I wanna stay until
the sun is bright
229
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:34,813
Marcus: Ooh!
230
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,618
Man:
Well, I'm never
acting grown
231
00:09:39,652 --> 00:09:42,954
I'd rather do what makes me
feel all right
232
00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:47,125
Will: Aah!
233
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,795
Man:
Through the outsides
of Rome
234
00:09:49,829 --> 00:09:51,530
Crash on dirty couches
235
00:09:51,564 --> 00:09:54,199
Eating breakfast
off the floor
236
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,734
Slowly serving strangers
237
00:09:55,768 --> 00:09:58,370
In a place I hardly know
238
00:09:58,404 --> 00:10:00,305
I can't find the hotel
239
00:10:00,339 --> 00:10:01,940
They're all gone
240
00:10:01,974 --> 00:10:03,575
I'm here all alone
241
00:10:05,611 --> 00:10:07,612
Don't wanna go home
242
00:10:07,647 --> 00:10:11,016
The sun is up
and it's way too bright
243
00:10:13,386 --> 00:10:16,288
Will: Fiona, okay, look, it's
been more than one night
244
00:10:16,322 --> 00:10:21,259
and Marcus is still up there
just gurgling and creaming up,
245
00:10:21,294 --> 00:10:23,895
and mouth-breathing
all over the place.
246
00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:27,232
It's just killing me,
and I can't focus on the song,
247
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:29,000
and I need you to do something
about it, please.
248
00:10:29,035 --> 00:10:31,603
Fiona: Will, it's killing me.
249
00:10:31,637 --> 00:10:34,373
It is not easy for me.
All I want is for him
250
00:10:34,407 --> 00:10:37,609
to open his heart to Chris so
that the two wonderful, sweet
251
00:10:37,643 --> 00:10:40,011
men in my life can just enjoy
each other.
252
00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:42,681
Will: It's not like I'm
unsympathetic to your plight,
253
00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:45,083
okay?
I mean... well, actually I am.
254
00:10:45,118 --> 00:10:47,819
Fiona: He saw him first.
At school, even before I did.
255
00:10:47,854 --> 00:10:50,122
So why can't he see it at home?
I mean, it's the same Chris.
256
00:10:50,156 --> 00:10:53,425
Will: Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna lay it down for you.
257
00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:56,862
I ink you made a tactical
error bringing Chris home
258
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:58,530
to bond with Marcus.
259
00:10:58,564 --> 00:10:59,798
Fiona: What do you mean?
260
00:10:59,832 --> 00:11:01,933
Will: You brought Chris into
Marcus' space
261
00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:03,568
and that can be hard to handle,
you know,
262
00:11:03,603 --> 00:11:05,670
males are kind of funky about
that kinda thing.
263
00:11:05,705 --> 00:11:08,707
You know, when I was a kid,
we had a golden retriever
264
00:11:08,741 --> 00:11:10,208
named Woof Woof.
265
00:11:10,243 --> 00:11:12,110
- Fiona: That is a lovely breed.
- Will: Thank you.
266
00:11:12,145 --> 00:11:14,713
- Fiona: And a stupid name.
- Will: I am going to pretend
267
00:11:14,747 --> 00:11:16,415
that you didn't just say that.
268
00:11:16,449 --> 00:11:19,351
A few years later, we got
a Bernese Mountain Dog.
269
00:11:19,385 --> 00:11:21,253
- Fiona: Bark Bark?
- Will: Really, really funny.
270
00:11:21,287 --> 00:11:23,422
Keep it up.
My mom said that before
271
00:11:23,456 --> 00:11:25,023
- we brought Cassius home...
- Fiona: That's a good name,
272
00:11:25,057 --> 00:11:26,058
isn't it?
That's a good name.
273
00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:27,526
Will: Okay, just...
274
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,997
Cassius and Woof Woof had to
meet in a neutral location.
275
00:11:32,031 --> 00:11:34,266
So they could get used
to each other, you know?
276
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:36,702
Sniff each other's butts.
277
00:11:39,205 --> 00:11:41,139
Fiona: Woof Woof
is the stupidest name ever.
278
00:11:41,174 --> 00:11:42,541
Will: Hm.
279
00:11:42,575 --> 00:11:45,444
Marcus: My instincts are way out
of whack here, Will.
280
00:11:45,478 --> 00:11:47,512
At first I thought you were
tiring of my presence,
281
00:11:47,547 --> 00:11:49,948
but now we're two roomies going
out on the town.
282
00:11:49,982 --> 00:11:51,583
Will: Yeah, I mean there's
nothing I'd rather being doing
283
00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:55,120
right now than slamming some
vegan hibachi.
284
00:11:55,154 --> 00:11:57,722
Marcus: Man, I cannot tell you
how great it feels to not
285
00:11:57,757 --> 00:12:01,059
have something
or someone forced on me.
286
00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:02,694
I love living under your roof,
Will.
287
00:12:02,729 --> 00:12:03,996
Will: My roof is overrated.
288
00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:07,065
And some rooves are underrated.
Roofs? Roo... rooves?
289
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:10,168
Woman: We only do shared tables,
so here we go.
290
00:12:10,203 --> 00:12:13,505
Will: Sit down here...
Oh, my God!
291
00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:14,940
Look at... what are the...
292
00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:17,776
Surprise, surprise!
What are the odds, right there?
293
00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:19,878
- Fiona: Hello!
- Chris: Hey, guys.
294
00:12:21,481 --> 00:12:23,515
Marcus: Et tu, Brute?
295
00:12:23,549 --> 00:12:24,549
Will: I don't know
what that means.
296
00:12:24,584 --> 00:12:26,151
Chris: I can help you out there,
Will.
297
00:12:26,185 --> 00:12:27,452
- That's William Shakespeare...
- Marcus: It's always a lesson
298
00:12:27,487 --> 00:12:29,154
- with this guy.
- Fiona: Oh, golly.
299
00:12:29,188 --> 00:12:31,656
- Shall we eat?
- Marcus: A moment alone with you,
300
00:12:31,691 --> 00:12:32,758
- roomie?
- Will: Oh, sidebar.
301
00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:34,993
That sounds fun.
302
00:12:36,162 --> 00:12:37,763
Chris: "Et tu, Brute."
303
00:12:39,878 --> 00:12:42,782
Marcus: I cannot believe you
conspired with them against me.
304
00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:44,585
Will: I know, I know, it was
a little bit weak,
305
00:12:44,624 --> 00:12:46,325
but you gotta understand my
situation.
306
00:12:46,359 --> 00:12:48,227
I got a golden opportunity to
make a ton of money
307
00:12:48,261 --> 00:12:49,728
with this music producer...
308
00:12:49,762 --> 00:12:52,164
Marcus: I don't want to be here
with Mr. Chris or my mother.
309
00:12:52,198 --> 00:12:54,633
So if you're leaving,
I'm leaving.
310
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:57,503
Will: Marcus, I need to
concentrate at home.
311
00:12:57,537 --> 00:12:58,971
I gotta come up with
this sweet hook,
312
00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:01,740
and I just need some peace and
quiet to really get it.
313
00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:04,209
And I can't do it if you're
flopping around the shower.
314
00:13:04,244 --> 00:13:06,979
Marcus: If you're leaving,
I'm leaving.
315
00:13:07,013 --> 00:13:08,580
Look, we can get some
quinoa mushroom balls
316
00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:11,150
and pear sauce to go.
They're famous for them here,
317
00:13:11,184 --> 00:13:14,553
and it would be a sin
to miss out.
318
00:13:14,587 --> 00:13:17,289
Fiona: Well, I know we came
together a bit inelegantly,
319
00:13:17,323 --> 00:13:19,825
but I really feel that if we
open our hearts,
320
00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:24,163
we could have a meaningful
and maybe a wonderful time.
321
00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:26,765
Will: Honestly, this menu reads
like a Stephen King novel.
322
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,268
It's more unsettling the deeper
you get into it.
323
00:13:29,302 --> 00:13:32,204
Fiona: Um, Marcus, Chris said
that you said something
324
00:13:32,238 --> 00:13:34,940
- rather brilliant in class today.
- Chris: That's right.
325
00:13:34,974 --> 00:13:37,342
Um, we were going over Latin
root words,
326
00:13:37,377 --> 00:13:40,512
and I brought up "gress,"
meaning to step or to go.
327
00:13:40,547 --> 00:13:42,181
Such as progress, to step
forward or digress,
328
00:13:42,215 --> 00:13:43,549
to step backward.
329
00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:44,817
Will: This is a long story,
isn't it?
330
00:13:44,851 --> 00:13:46,018
Chris: And then I brought up
congress,
331
00:13:46,052 --> 00:13:47,386
which means to step together.
332
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,022
And Marcus said, "but the U.S.
Congress is more likely to
333
00:13:50,056 --> 00:13:51,723
"step outside and beat the crap
out of each other
334
00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:53,926
because they can't come together
on squat."
335
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,496
Fiona: Oh, that is so brilliant!
[forced laugh] So relevant.
336
00:13:57,530 --> 00:14:00,899
Chris: Oh, yeah, no, I gave him
a standing ovation,
337
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:04,770
which is from the Latin
"ovatio", which means "I exult."
338
00:14:04,804 --> 00:14:08,407
- Will: What's Latin for boring?
- Marcus: [snickers]
339
00:14:08,441 --> 00:14:09,975
Fiona: Are we opening our
hearts, or are we shutting them
340
00:14:10,009 --> 00:14:11,443
like a bloody vault, darling?
341
00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:13,112
Will: Hey, guys, I don't see a
lick of meat on here.
342
00:14:13,146 --> 00:14:15,147
I'm gonna go next door,
get a half-pound patty
343
00:14:15,181 --> 00:14:16,949
from the burger joint,
throw it on the hibachi.
344
00:14:16,983 --> 00:14:18,550
- Anyone else want in?
- Chris: You know, Will,
345
00:14:18,585 --> 00:14:21,720
there's a veritable cornucopia
of delectable items on this menu
346
00:14:21,754 --> 00:14:23,622
that aren't meat that are far
more amicable to your heart
347
00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:25,691
and digestive tract.
For example, the...
348
00:14:25,725 --> 00:14:28,727
The vegan pho is quite nice,
and the Luc Lac
349
00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:31,230
is a Vietnamese lentil steak,
where they...
350
00:14:31,264 --> 00:14:32,598
Will: What do you think's
grosser?
351
00:14:32,632 --> 00:14:36,135
Eating lentil Luc Lacs,
or pooping lentil Luc Lacs.
352
00:14:36,169 --> 00:14:37,403
Marcus: [laughs]
353
00:14:37,437 --> 00:14:39,671
Fiona: Um, a word with you,
please, neighbor.
354
00:14:39,706 --> 00:14:41,340
- Will: What, what?
- Fiona: Over here.
355
00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:43,809
Will: I was just over there.
356
00:14:46,913 --> 00:14:48,414
Fiona: Are you aware how
disrespectful
357
00:14:48,448 --> 00:14:50,315
you're being to Chris, or are
you merely clueless
358
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,017
as well as being a giant moron?
359
00:14:52,051 --> 00:14:53,852
Will: Excuse me, I did my job.
360
00:14:53,887 --> 00:14:56,955
I got everyone all together,
now I just want to go home
361
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,858
so I can work on my hook in
peace and quiet.
362
00:14:59,893 --> 00:15:01,994
Fiona: Marcus is not going to
come home with me
363
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:04,363
unless you stop mocking
Mr. Chris.
364
00:15:04,397 --> 00:15:05,697
Will: [mocking]
Luc Lac, Luc Lac?
365
00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,199
You gotta be kidding me.
366
00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:08,867
Fiona: Will,
Marcus idolizes you.
367
00:15:08,902 --> 00:15:11,270
If you're nice to Mr. Chris,
he will be too.
368
00:15:11,304 --> 00:15:14,106
Will: I can't believe I'm
embroiled in this plan.
369
00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:16,375
And now you want me to be nice
to that...
370
00:15:16,409 --> 00:15:18,644
what's the Latin word
for "tool?"
371
00:15:18,678 --> 00:15:20,245
- Fiona: Instrumentum.
- Will: Thank you.
372
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,748
Will: Alright, you know what?
I will try to be nice
373
00:15:22,782 --> 00:15:26,151
to that blowhard instrumentum,
374
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:29,488
just so Marcus can get out of my
house and I can finally
375
00:15:29,522 --> 00:15:31,757
- work on this hook, okay?
- Fiona: Thank you.
376
00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:33,092
- Will: There you go.
- Fiona: Culus.
377
00:15:33,126 --> 00:15:35,494
- Will: What does that mean?
- Fiona: It's a body part.
378
00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:39,331
Will: Mm, so Chris,
it sounds like you're quite
379
00:15:39,365 --> 00:15:41,900
- the world traveler?
- Chris: That is correct, yeah.
380
00:15:41,935 --> 00:15:44,536
I have... I've been
to all six continents.
381
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:46,605
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking there are seven.
382
00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:48,607
But most geographers,
myself included, agree
383
00:15:48,641 --> 00:15:50,142
that Europe and Asia,
it's really...
384
00:15:50,176 --> 00:15:52,678
- It's just the same land mass.
- Fiona: It is.
385
00:15:52,712 --> 00:15:54,847
Will: Yeah, I definitely wasn't
thinking that.
386
00:15:56,683 --> 00:15:59,618
No.
So... I been to Barcelona.
387
00:15:59,652 --> 00:16:01,186
- Do we have that in common?
- Chris: You are correct,
388
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,355
good sir.
Yes, I love Barthelona.
389
00:16:03,389 --> 00:16:07,759
Tell me that you were not blown
away by the dragon-curved
390
00:16:07,794 --> 00:16:10,429
- rooftop of Gaudi's Casa Batllo.
- Will: No,
391
00:16:10,463 --> 00:16:13,866
but I was blown away
by the curved body
392
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:16,301
of a cocktail waitress named
"Ithavella".
393
00:16:16,336 --> 00:16:17,769
Chris: Hm, I'm not sure
"Isabella"
394
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,705
was on the walking tour.
395
00:16:19,739 --> 00:16:21,673
I did happen to catch
an FC Barcelona match
396
00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:24,009
and while the fans were as wild
as advertised,
397
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:26,378
that's nothing compared
to a Niners game.
398
00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:30,149
Will: Oh, so you're a Niners
fan?
399
00:16:30,183 --> 00:16:31,517
Chris: Oh, yeah,
I'm a bit of a freak.
400
00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:33,619
Will: What, like a real freak,
or like bandwagon freak?
401
00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:35,287
Chris: Well, one of the greatest
days of my life was
402
00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:38,057
the '94 NFC Championship game
where the Niners beat...
403
00:16:38,091 --> 00:16:39,391
Will: Cowboys.
404
00:16:39,425 --> 00:16:40,392
Chris: 38-28.
405
00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:41,593
I was at that game
with my father.
406
00:16:41,628 --> 00:16:43,562
Will: Dude, I was at that game
with my father.
407
00:16:43,596 --> 00:16:44,863
- Chris: Come on.
- Will: Yeah, I was on
408
00:16:44,898 --> 00:16:46,632
the 40-yard line.
I was there, I was right there
409
00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:47,800
when Eric Davis picked off
Aikman's pass,
410
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:49,201
took it to the house!
411
00:16:49,235 --> 00:16:51,203
Chris: And then Young hits
Ricky Watters who showboats
412
00:16:51,237 --> 00:16:52,438
into the end zone.
413
00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:54,006
Will: You know, he's like...
414
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,441
[both laughing]
415
00:16:55,475 --> 00:16:57,142
Chris: Oh, and then we
steamrolled 'em from there.
416
00:16:57,177 --> 00:16:59,211
Will: Yeah, we took down the
Chargers in the Super Bowl.
417
00:16:59,245 --> 00:17:02,047
Chris: But it was beating the
Cowboys that made it so sweet.
418
00:17:02,082 --> 00:17:04,016
Will: The sweetest, man.
It's still sweet!
419
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,317
- Chris: Yes!
- Marcus: Are you kidding me
420
00:17:05,352 --> 00:17:07,319
right now?
First you steal my mom and now
421
00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:08,921
you're trying to steal
my best friend?
422
00:17:08,955 --> 00:17:10,789
- I'm out of here.
- Chris: Marcus.
423
00:17:10,824 --> 00:17:12,624
Fiona: Darling!
424
00:17:14,027 --> 00:17:16,328
Marcus: Quinoa mushroom balls
are coming with me,
425
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:19,798
for they have not betrayed me.
426
00:17:26,883 --> 00:17:29,418
Will: Hey, bud, normally I'd
bring a food item
427
00:17:29,452 --> 00:17:33,522
as a peace treaty, but I'm fresh
out of quinoa mushroom balls.
428
00:17:33,556 --> 00:17:36,325
Marcus: You know what
hurts the most, Will?
429
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,761
Will: Tell me.
430
00:17:41,032 --> 00:17:45,169
Marcus: It's that the entire
23 hours and 18 minutes
431
00:17:45,203 --> 00:17:48,405
I've been gone, my mom hasn't
missed me.
432
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,075
- Not even a little.
- Will: Marcus, you know that
433
00:17:51,109 --> 00:17:52,576
- isn't true.
- Marcus: Thanks for coming here,
434
00:17:52,611 --> 00:17:56,947
Will, but your words won't make
me feel better this time.
435
00:17:58,850 --> 00:17:59,884
Will: Okay.
436
00:17:59,918 --> 00:18:04,889
Maybe your mother's will.
437
00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:06,690
Fiona: Hey, Will, it's Fiona.
438
00:18:06,725 --> 00:18:09,360
Marcus just left my housabou
20 seconds ago
439
00:18:09,394 --> 00:18:11,562
and I wanted to make sure
he arrived safely.
440
00:18:11,596 --> 00:18:12,930
Hey, Will, it's Fiona.
441
00:18:12,964 --> 00:18:17,034
It's been almost 4 minutes,
and I haven't
442
00:18:17,068 --> 00:18:20,971
heard from Marcus.
Is my lovey okay?
443
00:18:21,006 --> 00:18:24,074
It's Fiona.
Has he bathed?
444
00:18:24,109 --> 00:18:25,976
Is he warm?
Does he need
445
00:18:26,011 --> 00:18:28,445
a good night kiss from me?
446
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,613
[crying]
Please don't give him
447
00:18:29,648 --> 00:18:30,748
a good night kiss.
448
00:18:30,782 --> 00:18:32,883
That's my job.
[kisses]
449
00:18:32,918 --> 00:18:35,619
I do miss you, darling.
450
00:18:35,654 --> 00:18:40,024
It's Fiona. I'm just thinking
about my sweet little chicken.
451
00:18:40,058 --> 00:18:44,929
I've got my arms out because
I wish I were holding him.
452
00:18:44,963 --> 00:18:47,932
Every time I've ever held my
arms out,
453
00:18:47,966 --> 00:18:49,867
he's always come running.
454
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:53,671
Mommy's got her arms out,
darling.
455
00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:56,674
Mommy's got her arms out.
456
00:18:58,577 --> 00:19:00,311
[door closes]
457
00:19:10,455 --> 00:19:11,722
Marcus: You missed me.
458
00:19:11,756 --> 00:19:14,291
Fiona: Every single second.
459
00:19:14,326 --> 00:19:16,594
You know, I've been thinking
a lot about our love bubble.
460
00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:18,028
Marcus: What about it?
461
00:19:18,063 --> 00:19:21,899
Fiona: Well, we let Will into it
and it didn't pop, did it?
462
00:19:26,638 --> 00:19:28,072
Marcus: It didn't pop.
463
00:19:28,106 --> 00:19:31,809
Fiona: Darling, no matter who is
in my life,
464
00:19:31,843 --> 00:19:34,945
I'll always make room for you
in my love bubble.
465
00:19:46,091 --> 00:19:49,059
[soft rock music]
466
00:19:54,332 --> 00:19:56,500
Will:
I've got room
467
00:19:56,535 --> 00:19:59,470
There's always room
468
00:19:59,504 --> 00:20:05,576
In my love bubble for you
469
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:07,111
Johnny: Love Bubble?
470
00:20:10,015 --> 00:20:11,549
I like it.
Will: Yes!
471
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,017
Yeah!
Whoo!
472
00:20:13,051 --> 00:20:15,019
Johnny: But this?
Two guys in a minivan,
473
00:20:15,053 --> 00:20:16,487
that's creepy,
you gotta stop that.
474
00:20:16,521 --> 00:20:18,289
You ever heard of email?
475
00:20:18,323 --> 00:20:19,990
Will: He's right, I told you it
was creepy.
476
00:20:20,025 --> 00:20:23,027
We should've brought one
of your kids, I told you.
477
00:20:23,061 --> 00:20:24,161
Andy: My kids!
478
00:20:24,196 --> 00:20:26,163
I forgot the kids at school!
479
00:20:26,198 --> 00:20:27,998
Laurie's gonna kill me!
480
00:20:30,335 --> 00:20:31,769
Marcus: Hey, Mom, whatcha doing?
481
00:20:31,803 --> 00:20:34,238
Fiona: I'm making mushroom and
quinoa balls,
482
00:20:34,272 --> 00:20:36,407
but they're not really boiling,
are they?
483
00:20:36,441 --> 00:20:37,808
Suppose I could loaf them.
484
00:20:37,843 --> 00:20:40,377
Marcus: Nobody loafs it better.
485
00:20:40,412 --> 00:20:43,547
- Loafs, loaves?
- Fiona: I think it can be either.
486
00:20:43,582 --> 00:20:45,683
Marcus: Oh, hey, I set up our
Paint Our Feelings Night.
487
00:20:45,717 --> 00:20:47,852
Go check it out!
Fiona: Oh.
488
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:51,233
Sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com
489
00:20:51,323 --> 00:20:54,258
Why are there three easels?
490
00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:57,861
Will:
In my love bubble for
you
491
00:20:57,896 --> 00:21:03,434
Chris: So thanks to Marcus,
I'm no longer persona non grata.
492
00:21:03,468 --> 00:21:05,836
Marcus: Okay, let's keep the
Latin in school, huh?
493
00:21:05,886 --> 00:21:10,436
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