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1
00:00:01,766 --> 00:00:04,401
[Air Traffic Controller's Hurry Hurry]
2
00:00:08,984 --> 00:00:11,953
I wish I snoozed, I could've
used a bit more sleep
3
00:00:11,987 --> 00:00:14,155
Put on my shoes, these ones are...
4
00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:17,091
No, no, no!
5
00:00:17,126 --> 00:00:20,094
No! Dude! Man! Come on!
6
00:00:20,129 --> 00:00:22,330
I was right there!
7
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:24,599
Hey!
8
00:00:28,204 --> 00:00:29,537
Closed.
9
00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:32,807
I just need a dozen Asiagos
and then we're good to go.
10
00:00:32,842 --> 00:00:34,175
[Knocking on window]
11
00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:36,277
Hey, hey! Don't knock on the glass.
12
00:00:36,312 --> 00:00:37,479
It's not gonna help you.
13
00:00:37,513 --> 00:00:38,813
All right, well, listen,
I've been searching
14
00:00:38,848 --> 00:00:41,082
for the perfect bagel
since I got to New York
15
00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:42,150
three months ago.
16
00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:45,019
I journeyed from Soho for your Asiagos.
17
00:00:45,054 --> 00:00:48,690
We close at 5:00 and I'm
not gonna turn my life
18
00:00:48,724 --> 00:00:52,427
upside down, topsy-turvy,
for some schmuck from Soho.
19
00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,395
Look, uh, I need this bagel.
20
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,763
I... it's, it's real important to me.
21
00:00:55,798 --> 00:00:58,132
What's so important? Don't you have a life?
22
00:00:58,167 --> 00:01:00,301
You don't have a job? A girl?
23
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:02,804
No, I actually happen to
have a wonderful girlfriend.
24
00:01:02,838 --> 00:01:05,440
I mean, she's perfect; She's
beautiful, she's talented,
25
00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:06,608
she's smart.
26
00:01:06,642 --> 00:01:08,710
And yet here you are, begging for bagels.
27
00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:10,345
No, no, no. She works a lot.
28
00:01:10,379 --> 00:01:11,913
Ya know, she works all the time really.
29
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,214
Yeah, that's rough.
30
00:01:13,249 --> 00:01:16,651
How about I give you a little
extra for the after-hour bagels?
31
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:19,854
You think that... that
money, you just throw money
32
00:01:19,889 --> 00:01:21,256
at a problem, it solves it.
33
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,692
Is that the way you do
things in your fancy Soho?
34
00:01:24,727 --> 00:01:26,227
That's the way you do?
35
00:01:26,262 --> 00:01:27,762
Oh, that smells good.
36
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,999
That's a... oh that... mmm. Oh.
37
00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:33,234
That's fresh. Still warm.
38
00:01:33,269 --> 00:01:34,235
Like from this morning.
39
00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:35,803
- 20 bucks for six Asiagos.
- Mmm.
40
00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:37,305
- Take it or leave it.
- Mmm.
41
00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:39,073
You know what would be good with this?
42
00:01:39,108 --> 00:01:40,408
A nice schmear.
43
00:01:40,443 --> 00:01:41,843
I think I'll put a nice schmear on it.
44
00:01:41,877 --> 00:01:42,811
Okay, I see the game we play up here.
45
00:01:42,845 --> 00:01:45,013
40 bucks for six Asiagos.
46
00:01:45,047 --> 00:01:47,482
I just think I had an orgasm.
47
00:01:47,516 --> 00:01:49,083
A hundred dollars for six.
48
00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:51,085
A hundred for five, a hundred for four...
49
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,320
- There we go!
- There we go.
50
00:01:52,354 --> 00:01:53,254
Thank you.
51
00:01:53,289 --> 00:01:56,691
Mmm... Oh...
52
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:59,160
You did it, Will. You
found the perfect Asiago.
53
00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:00,862
Every day I think you
can't impress me more,
54
00:02:00,896 --> 00:02:02,130
yet, here we are.
55
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,566
Yeah, well, I'm gonna
overnight deliver one to Andy,
56
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,035
he's gonna freak, and rest assured,
57
00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:09,337
I am sending one to my
San Francisco bagel shop
58
00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:11,539
because they got a lot to learn.
59
00:02:11,574 --> 00:02:12,507
[Door opens and shuts]
60
00:02:13,576 --> 00:02:14,876
- Hey baby.
- Hey!
61
00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:15,877
Hold on, Marcus.
62
00:02:15,911 --> 00:02:19,447
Oh, I missed you.
63
00:02:19,482 --> 00:02:20,381
Hey, um, Marcus is on.
64
00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:21,416
Say hi, it's been a while.
65
00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:22,484
Oh! Hi, Marcus!
66
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:23,685
Hi, Dr. Sam.
67
00:02:23,719 --> 00:02:26,021
You guys, I had the
craziest day of my life.
68
00:02:26,055 --> 00:02:26,955
What happened?
69
00:02:26,989 --> 00:02:28,690
This guy comes in. Flatlined, okay?
70
00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:31,025
I had to jump on the
gurney, as we're racing down
71
00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:32,460
the hallway, and revive him.
72
00:02:32,495 --> 00:02:35,630
It was... oh... four hours of surgery,
73
00:02:35,664 --> 00:02:36,564
guy's as good as new.
74
00:02:36,599 --> 00:02:37,932
You raised a man from the dead
75
00:02:37,967 --> 00:02:39,634
and Will found the perfect bagel.
76
00:02:39,668 --> 00:02:40,568
What a power couple.
77
00:02:40,603 --> 00:02:41,503
[Both laugh]
78
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,437
Anyways, gotta go, guys.
79
00:02:42,471 --> 00:02:44,305
Bye Marcus.
80
00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:45,907
I love New York.
81
00:02:45,941 --> 00:02:48,409
Saving lives. Eating bagels.
82
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:50,845
Moving here is one of the
best things we ever did, Will.
83
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,916
- The best.
- Mm-hmm.
84
00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:58,553
Well, here's something that will
keep you in bagels for a while.
85
00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,622
Royalty check from Runaway Sleigh.
86
00:03:00,656 --> 00:03:03,191
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- [Both laugh]
87
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,325
What a day!
88
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,061
The perfect Asiago, the perfect woman,
89
00:03:07,096 --> 00:03:09,631
and a boatload of money
for work done a decade ago.
90
00:03:09,665 --> 00:03:11,566
Big money! Big money!
No whammies! No whammies!
91
00:03:17,673 --> 00:03:19,040
Big whammy.
92
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:21,276
Here we go.
93
00:03:21,310 --> 00:03:23,878
[Brett Dennen's Comeback
Kid (That's my dog)]
94
00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:26,514
Well, maybe it's the common curse
95
00:03:26,549 --> 00:03:29,217
Maybe things get bad
before they get worse
96
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:32,120
I don't want to become someone
97
00:03:32,154 --> 00:03:35,390
Who can't live up to
what I already done, don't
98
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,559
Here comes a comeback
99
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,594
The kid is back, is back on track
100
00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:42,297
And there goes my hero
101
00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:46,501
He's the underdog, he's
coming out on top, and
102
00:03:46,535 --> 00:03:49,103
[Cheers and applause]
103
00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:51,406
Richard, Richard, just listen to me, okay?
104
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,740
You are my business manager.
105
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,509
I need you to manage my business.
106
00:03:54,543 --> 00:03:56,044
I need to buy things.
107
00:03:56,078 --> 00:03:59,247
I am only in town until
tomorrow but guess what,
108
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,883
I'm gonna be riding you
every second to make sure
109
00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:04,953
that your number one priority
is finding this money.
110
00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:07,856
This represents 100% of my income, Richard.
111
00:04:07,890 --> 00:04:09,024
[Rhythmic moaning]
112
00:04:09,058 --> 00:04:10,325
Hold up. Hold on one second.
113
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:12,660
[Moaning continues]
114
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:14,462
Richard, there is something haunting
115
00:04:14,497 --> 00:04:15,430
and unearthly happening here.
116
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,265
I'm gonna call you back.
117
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,533
[Grunting]
118
00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:21,369
[Shouting]
119
00:04:24,774 --> 00:04:27,642
[Wailing]
120
00:04:29,178 --> 00:04:30,912
Will? Will is here!
121
00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:32,313
Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
122
00:04:32,348 --> 00:04:36,317
This thing is...
123
00:04:36,352 --> 00:04:38,053
mom, cut my umbilical
cord so I can hug Will.
124
00:04:38,087 --> 00:04:40,155
Umbilical cord? What?
125
00:04:40,189 --> 00:04:41,322
Don't get judgmental.
126
00:04:41,357 --> 00:04:43,558
We are simply reenacting Marcus's birth.
127
00:04:43,592 --> 00:04:44,692
Oh. And here I was thinking
128
00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:46,428
there was no logical explanation.
129
00:04:46,462 --> 00:04:49,063
Marcus is helping me stir up
my personal birthing memories
130
00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:51,900
to help me with my
training to become a doula.
131
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,068
What is a doula?
132
00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:56,371
Of course you don't know what a doula is.
133
00:04:56,405 --> 00:05:00,842
A doula is a magical
person who helps restore
134
00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:04,079
the faith and dignity of birth
that the medical establishment
135
00:05:04,113 --> 00:05:05,847
has, frankly, destroyed over and...
136
00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:08,216
Okay, well, we're moving
on. Marcus, my man.
137
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:11,019
I'm here only 36 hours, but
I've carved out some Marcus time.
138
00:05:11,053 --> 00:05:12,687
We've got Xbox... pow!
139
00:05:12,722 --> 00:05:15,023
We've got general frivolity... pow!
140
00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:17,392
And we've got ribs.
141
00:05:17,426 --> 00:05:21,062
That... that sounds great
Will but I'm booked solid
142
00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:22,597
this weekend with my buds.
143
00:05:22,631 --> 00:05:23,898
Well, I'm sure they'll understand.
144
00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:27,902
Will, Marcus already has
plans with his wonderful,
145
00:05:27,937 --> 00:05:30,138
age-appropriate friends.
146
00:05:30,172 --> 00:05:33,108
Oh, okay.
147
00:05:33,142 --> 00:05:34,542
Not gonna lie, it stings a little
148
00:05:34,577 --> 00:05:37,212
but uh, I'll see you around.
149
00:05:38,781 --> 00:05:42,017
Mom, would it be okay if
Will cut my umbilical cord
150
00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:45,053
as a symbolic way of showing
our mutual independence?
151
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:47,422
Oh, that is brilliant!
152
00:05:47,456 --> 00:05:48,890
I-I-I know what's coming here.
153
00:05:48,924 --> 00:05:50,058
All right.
154
00:05:50,092 --> 00:05:51,860
But let me tell you
something, there is no way
155
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,529
that I'm getting involved
with this kind of thing.
156
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,131
Please, Will.
157
00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:57,532
[Sighs]
158
00:06:01,671 --> 00:06:05,573
And here comes the postpartum depression.
159
00:06:05,608 --> 00:06:08,476
Glad to see things didn't
get weird when I was away.
160
00:06:08,511 --> 00:06:09,911
It's all right.
161
00:06:14,231 --> 00:06:15,931
Do you know what these mean?
162
00:06:15,966 --> 00:06:17,566
Wild stab, um, someone made guacamole?
163
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,335
- I think Laurie is pregnant.
- What?
164
00:06:19,369 --> 00:06:20,670
She's showing all the signs.
165
00:06:20,704 --> 00:06:22,238
She's eating avocados like they're water,
166
00:06:22,272 --> 00:06:25,241
she's puking on cue,
her nipples have darkened
167
00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:27,343
to the color of a deep French roast.
168
00:06:27,377 --> 00:06:28,911
You just may have just
ruined nipples for me.
169
00:06:28,945 --> 00:06:31,347
Anyway, wait... what about your vasectomy?
170
00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:33,816
The vasectomy that you
badgered me not to get.
171
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:36,685
"Oh, don't get a nut-cut,
bro. Don't get a nut-cut."
172
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,254
I don't sound like that.
173
00:06:38,288 --> 00:06:39,755
- You sound exactly like that.
- Wait, you listened to me?
174
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,690
Yes, I listened to you!
175
00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:43,326
Was Laurie... well, how did Laurie react?
176
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,393
Was she cool with that?
177
00:06:44,428 --> 00:06:47,263
That's the tricky part of all of this.
178
00:06:47,297 --> 00:06:48,664
She doesn't know.
179
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,665
I faked it.
180
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,701
How do you fake a vasectomy?
181
00:06:51,735 --> 00:06:52,968
Well, that part was easy.
182
00:06:53,003 --> 00:06:55,137
I came home. I limped.
183
00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:57,006
I put frozen peas on my crotch.
184
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,841
She brought me pizza bagels.
185
00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:02,178
I even marked my sack with a highlighter
186
00:07:02,212 --> 00:07:03,446
just in case she checked.
187
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,247
She did not check, by the way.
188
00:07:05,282 --> 00:07:07,249
Thank God you're back from New York
189
00:07:07,284 --> 00:07:09,352
so we can deal with this.
190
00:07:09,386 --> 00:07:11,554
- We?
- Yeah, we.
191
00:07:11,588 --> 00:07:15,024
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There
is no "we" in "Laurie."
192
00:07:15,058 --> 00:07:17,326
Tallyho, chaps!
193
00:07:17,361 --> 00:07:19,161
It's snack time.
194
00:07:19,196 --> 00:07:22,865
I made a cabin out of tofu slim Jims
195
00:07:22,899 --> 00:07:24,967
and there's also chai cola here.
196
00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:29,772
It tastes just like cola
except slightly more gelatinous
197
00:07:29,806 --> 00:07:31,140
and a bit chewy.
198
00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:32,608
Awesome!
199
00:07:32,642 --> 00:07:34,910
None of the other moms
make such healthy snacks.
200
00:07:34,945 --> 00:07:35,945
Since I met you, I'm really thinking
201
00:07:35,979 --> 00:07:37,046
about going vegan.
202
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,116
[Gasps] Eddie, that makes me so happy.
203
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:42,485
Do you know? I really
feel a movement coming.
204
00:07:42,519 --> 00:07:44,353
Now I'm just gonna be in the house
205
00:07:44,388 --> 00:07:45,521
if you need anything at all.
206
00:07:45,555 --> 00:07:46,756
- Okay?
- All right.
207
00:07:46,790 --> 00:07:48,457
I told you you were gonna
make some great mates
208
00:07:48,492 --> 00:07:49,592
in San Francisco, didn't I?
209
00:07:49,626 --> 00:07:51,027
Good job! Good job!
210
00:07:56,733 --> 00:07:59,935
"Oh, I really feel a
movement coming, gentlemen.
211
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:01,570
Out of my butthole."
212
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,706
[All laughing]
213
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,541
Oh, man. Come on, guys.
214
00:08:05,575 --> 00:08:07,543
To the brigade!
215
00:08:09,746 --> 00:08:11,914
Uh, where do you think you're going?
216
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:14,016
I got my third stripe yesterday
217
00:08:14,051 --> 00:08:17,286
when I used my piggy
bank for our snack run.
218
00:08:17,321 --> 00:08:19,689
Yeah, well, you need to have five stripes
219
00:08:19,723 --> 00:08:20,923
to get into the brigade.
220
00:08:20,957 --> 00:08:22,024
You said it was three.
221
00:08:22,059 --> 00:08:24,093
Not since we did all of our upgrades.
222
00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:26,062
Why don't you keep watch?
223
00:08:26,096 --> 00:08:27,063
Okay.
224
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,835
Make sure nobody comes.
225
00:08:32,869 --> 00:08:34,503
Hey, bud.
226
00:08:34,538 --> 00:08:35,605
Oh, hey, Will.
227
00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:36,639
What's going on?
228
00:08:36,673 --> 00:08:39,141
Just hanging with my buds.
229
00:08:39,176 --> 00:08:41,143
Oh yeah? Then why are they up there
230
00:08:41,178 --> 00:08:42,445
and you're down here?
231
00:08:42,479 --> 00:08:44,046
Duh, I'm standing guard.
232
00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:45,448
It's very important.
233
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:46,782
Doesn't sound all that fun.
234
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,484
I love standing guard, Will.
235
00:08:48,518 --> 00:08:50,653
Just try and get past me. Try it.
236
00:08:50,687 --> 00:08:53,723
What I lack in strength,
I make up for in shrieking.
237
00:08:53,757 --> 00:08:55,191
[Shrieks]
238
00:08:55,225 --> 00:08:56,926
Keep it down! God!
239
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,762
Right, sorry, Eddie.
240
00:08:59,796 --> 00:09:01,564
I'm sure I'll get to go up there later.
241
00:09:08,205 --> 00:09:09,772
We got a problem.
242
00:09:09,806 --> 00:09:11,540
What... what are you doing?
243
00:09:11,575 --> 00:09:13,476
Well, your dumbwaiter door is stuck
244
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:16,445
and I'm gonna loosen it up
so that Marcus can come over
245
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,947
whenever he wants over the next few days
246
00:09:17,981 --> 00:09:19,148
while I'm around.
247
00:09:19,182 --> 00:09:20,716
I thought it was a 36 hour trip.
248
00:09:20,751 --> 00:09:21,917
It is but some things have come up.
249
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,886
What things?
250
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,556
Well, for one, Marcus's
so-called "friends"
251
00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:28,824
have turned my tree house into a brigade,
252
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:30,359
which they are not letting him up into.
253
00:09:30,394 --> 00:09:32,028
He is currently standing guard.
254
00:09:32,062 --> 00:09:34,063
Everyone has to take a turn standing guard.
255
00:09:34,097 --> 00:09:36,465
No, no, Marcus doesn't have to stand guard.
256
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,267
Do you understand? It's his tree house.
257
00:09:38,302 --> 00:09:39,435
I built it for him.
258
00:09:39,469 --> 00:09:41,203
Having trouble letting go are we?
259
00:09:41,238 --> 00:09:44,073
I am trying to keep your
kid from getting bullied.
260
00:09:44,107 --> 00:09:46,375
Is it so hard to believe
that a bunch of cheeky, fun
261
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,244
eighth graders want to
hang out with Marcus?
262
00:09:48,278 --> 00:09:49,345
Yes.
263
00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:51,514
You're being an arsonist firefighter.
264
00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:52,882
Definition?
265
00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:54,383
Someone who starts a fire
so they can put it out,
266
00:09:54,418 --> 00:09:56,452
be the hero, and get all the glory.
267
00:09:56,487 --> 00:09:58,187
Okay, that is so ridiculous.
Why would I do that?
268
00:09:58,221 --> 00:10:00,256
I don't know. Hold on.
269
00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:03,292
Put my psychologist hat on for a minute.
270
00:10:03,327 --> 00:10:04,927
Oh, yeah! Maybe you are inventing problems
271
00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:08,564
in San Francisco to avoid
bigger problems in New York.
272
00:10:08,599 --> 00:10:10,967
Take your psycho hat
off because you're wrong.
273
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:14,537
Marcus mentioned that since
you've been in New York,
274
00:10:14,571 --> 00:10:16,839
the main structure of your life
275
00:10:16,873 --> 00:10:19,976
has been around bagels.
276
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,812
Is... is everything all right with Sam?
277
00:10:22,846 --> 00:10:26,082
Okay, everything is great with Sam.
278
00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:28,351
I am dying to get back to
New York to be with her.
279
00:10:28,385 --> 00:10:29,452
Are you?
280
00:10:29,486 --> 00:10:30,386
Yeah and she can't wait to see me.
281
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:31,888
I bet.
282
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,523
So why don't you stop trying
to turn this around on me.
283
00:10:33,557 --> 00:10:35,324
Let me tell you something. I know boys.
284
00:10:35,359 --> 00:10:37,426
And I know those boys
are not Marcus's friends.
285
00:10:37,461 --> 00:10:39,128
So I'm gonna now have to prove it to you
286
00:10:39,162 --> 00:10:40,429
because you don't believe me.
287
00:10:44,501 --> 00:10:47,804
Tell Marcus the dumbwaiter
door is open for business.
288
00:10:51,074 --> 00:10:54,343
Better to be over-lubed
than to be under-lubed.
289
00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:58,347
How do you fake a vasectomy?
290
00:10:58,382 --> 00:10:59,749
Apparently, it's pretty easy.
291
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:01,550
Anyway, the point is, I have to be around
292
00:11:01,585 --> 00:11:04,587
to help him tell Laurie
because that can go so dark.
293
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:07,790
Oh, and Marcus is being taken
advantage of by these bullies.
294
00:11:07,824 --> 00:11:10,459
And Fiona just won't see it
so it's like, I can't just
295
00:11:10,494 --> 00:11:12,128
show up after three months
and tell her what's going on.
296
00:11:12,162 --> 00:11:15,231
I gotta figure a way to
prove to her what's going on.
297
00:11:15,265 --> 00:11:16,465
Wow.
298
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,600
What?
299
00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:19,035
No, it's just, ya know, in New York,
300
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:21,938
you spent three months trying
to find the perfect bagel
301
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,941
and you're in San Francisco 24 hours
302
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,343
and you got so much going on.
303
00:11:27,377 --> 00:11:31,847
Well, anyway, I just uh... I
really... I need a couple days
304
00:11:31,882 --> 00:11:33,783
to just sort of sort everything out.
305
00:11:33,817 --> 00:11:35,384
I hope that's okay.
306
00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:37,820
Oh, baby, of course. Take
as much time as you need.
307
00:11:37,855 --> 00:11:41,190
I'm working doubles all week anyway.
308
00:11:41,225 --> 00:11:44,093
Great, great.
309
00:11:44,127 --> 00:11:46,262
Yeah, I gotta go.
310
00:11:46,296 --> 00:11:47,363
I love you.
311
00:11:47,397 --> 00:11:49,532
I love you too. Bye.
312
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:53,547
Hooligans!
313
00:11:53,584 --> 00:11:55,994
So, we found out why your
checks have been stopped.
314
00:11:56,028 --> 00:11:59,290
Apparently, someone is claiming
they co-wrote Runaway Sleigh.
315
00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:01,341
What? That is crazy!
316
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,276
I wrote that song. Who is saying that?
317
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,044
I have no idea.
318
00:12:05,079 --> 00:12:06,546
But in the meantime,
you're gonna have to make
319
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,781
a few adjustments to your lifestyle.
320
00:12:08,816 --> 00:12:10,650
I need this money, dude.
321
00:12:10,684 --> 00:12:12,418
It's not that big of a deal, all right?
322
00:12:12,453 --> 00:12:14,554
It's not like your money
is gone, it's just like,
323
00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:15,889
the spigot is clogged.
324
00:12:15,923 --> 00:12:18,057
Well, how long to unclog the spigot?
325
00:12:18,092 --> 00:12:21,528
I don't know, weeks, months...
326
00:12:21,562 --> 00:12:24,731
- Do not say years.
- Okay.
327
00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:26,366
Surprise, huh?
328
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,067
Is this a good surprise or a bad surprise?
329
00:12:28,102 --> 00:12:29,702
It could be a great surprise, right, Will?
330
00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:31,404
We could take "great" off the table.
331
00:12:31,438 --> 00:12:34,774
- Mom, Alex hit me!
- Did not, jerk!
332
00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:38,111
Alex! Stop hitting your sister!
333
00:12:38,145 --> 00:12:39,779
[Sighs] Thank God we are out
334
00:12:39,814 --> 00:12:42,115
of our child-rearing
years, ya know what I mean?
335
00:12:42,149 --> 00:12:44,017
God, I can't wait till
they're all out of the house
336
00:12:44,051 --> 00:12:47,454
and it's just me and
whoever I marry after Andy.
337
00:12:47,488 --> 00:12:49,989
[Laughter]
338
00:12:50,024 --> 00:12:51,524
She's on fire tonight.
339
00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:53,993
Ya know, I think I hear the baby is crying
340
00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:57,030
and... why don't you
tell Laurie the surprise.
341
00:12:57,064 --> 00:12:59,299
What? Andy, Andy!
342
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,601
Well, all right, so
what's the surprise, Will?
343
00:13:06,407 --> 00:13:09,642
Let me just... uh... that's much better.
344
00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:13,713
Here's the deal, Laurie.
345
00:13:13,748 --> 00:13:17,984
Uh, there is a slight
chance that with all the...
346
00:13:18,018 --> 00:13:21,487
that you are... how do I put this?
347
00:13:21,522 --> 00:13:23,856
That you might be carrying.
348
00:13:23,891 --> 00:13:26,392
Carrying what?
349
00:13:26,427 --> 00:13:27,760
Like a... a baby.
350
00:13:27,795 --> 00:13:29,763
What? That's impossible.
351
00:13:29,797 --> 00:13:30,830
Andy had a vasectomy.
352
00:13:30,865 --> 00:13:34,734
That is a funny story, actually.
353
00:13:34,769 --> 00:13:36,102
[Laughing nervously]
354
00:13:36,137 --> 00:13:37,337
Makes me laugh to think about it.
355
00:13:37,371 --> 00:13:39,038
[Laughter]
356
00:13:39,073 --> 00:13:42,509
Andy's a deep thinker as we all know.
357
00:13:42,543 --> 00:13:46,379
And he... after careful consideration,
358
00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:51,651
Andy decided not to get a vasectomy.
359
00:13:51,686 --> 00:13:54,053
And I... and I may have had a little bit of
360
00:13:54,088 --> 00:13:59,659
a little bit of um...
a part to do with that.
361
00:13:59,693 --> 00:14:01,928
Oh, my God.
362
00:14:03,731 --> 00:14:05,265
Surprise!
363
00:14:05,299 --> 00:14:06,766
Oh, my God!
364
00:14:08,903 --> 00:14:10,103
Hurry up!
365
00:14:15,743 --> 00:14:18,011
Ready.
366
00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:20,280
Hey Marcus, here's your tip.
367
00:14:21,682 --> 00:14:23,149
Uh, Marcus, we saved you some pizza.
368
00:14:23,184 --> 00:14:24,551
- Cool.
- Yeah.
369
00:14:24,585 --> 00:14:27,086
Oops, I'm sorry.
370
00:14:27,121 --> 00:14:29,355
I'm watching you, you little punks.
371
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,558
[Sniffing] Oh...
372
00:14:31,592 --> 00:14:33,493
One, one thousand, two, one thousand,
373
00:14:33,527 --> 00:14:35,128
three, one thousand, four, one thousand,
374
00:14:35,162 --> 00:14:39,265
five, one thousand,
ready or not, here I come.
375
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,568
Hands up, Marcus.
376
00:14:41,602 --> 00:14:43,770
[Groans and laughter]
377
00:14:43,804 --> 00:14:46,806
Hey, Marcus.
378
00:14:46,841 --> 00:14:49,409
Will?
379
00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:51,578
What on earth are you doing?
380
00:14:51,612 --> 00:14:53,146
I am documenting.
381
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:55,014
No, you're spying
382
00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:57,117
on four teenage boys
out your bedroom window.
383
00:14:57,151 --> 00:14:59,085
Ew, that is so pervy.
384
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,155
Fiona, these so-called friends
of Marcus's are evil, okay?
385
00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:03,156
And you need to see it with your own eyes.
386
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,124
Get over here.
387
00:15:04,158 --> 00:15:05,091
- No.
- Get over here.
388
00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:06,025
No, I'm sorry, I can't.
389
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,160
- Oh, oh...
- No, no, no, no.
390
00:15:07,194 --> 00:15:09,562
Hey! Hey! You get back here right now.
391
00:15:09,597 --> 00:15:10,897
- Will, Will, Will!
- You come with me.
392
00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:12,132
Look, right there.
393
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:14,668
Hey Marcus, have you ever
heard of an atomic wedgie?
394
00:15:14,702 --> 00:15:16,436
Uh, no, but it doesn't sound great.
395
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:18,771
It's not supposed to. Turn around.
396
00:15:18,806 --> 00:15:19,773
Duck!
397
00:15:19,807 --> 00:15:21,374
Oh!
398
00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:22,742
Bugger! Don't!
399
00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:26,279
Okay, once you see what I see,
400
00:15:26,313 --> 00:15:27,247
then we can figure out what to do...
401
00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:28,481
No, no. Will, listen.
402
00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:30,517
There is no we, do you understand?
403
00:15:30,551 --> 00:15:31,618
You left.
404
00:15:31,652 --> 00:15:32,886
You moved to New York
405
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,255
and we have spent three
months getting over that.
406
00:15:35,289 --> 00:15:36,489
And now we're finally over that,
407
00:15:36,524 --> 00:15:38,191
and you have to leave us alone.
408
00:15:38,225 --> 00:15:39,392
Will, what the heck!
409
00:15:39,427 --> 00:15:43,630
Are you spying on... Me?
410
00:15:43,664 --> 00:15:45,031
Mom?
411
00:15:46,941 --> 00:15:50,260
You two were spying on me, weren't you?
412
00:15:50,294 --> 00:15:53,630
I guess birth reenactment trust
exercises mean nothing anymore.
413
00:15:53,664 --> 00:15:56,299
No, Marcus, your mother was
not spying, it was all me.
414
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:57,601
And I understand if you're mad at me,
415
00:15:57,635 --> 00:16:00,670
but those kids are not your friends.
416
00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:03,373
When I get back to school on Monday,
417
00:16:03,407 --> 00:16:05,241
I'm back to having no friends.
418
00:16:05,276 --> 00:16:06,743
Thanks a lot, Will.
419
00:16:06,777 --> 00:16:08,511
Good to have you back.
420
00:16:08,546 --> 00:16:09,546
Darling...
421
00:16:11,415 --> 00:16:13,850
This is a big mess!
422
00:16:16,254 --> 00:16:17,954
Hey! Hi, Mrs. Bowa.
423
00:16:17,989 --> 00:16:19,723
Those kale and ginger shots were amazing.
424
00:16:19,757 --> 00:16:23,159
Cut the crap, Eddie. And
lower my baby in uterus!
425
00:16:23,194 --> 00:16:26,029
You are mean-spirited little
buggers, the lot of you.
426
00:16:26,063 --> 00:16:27,631
Get out of my tree house.
427
00:16:27,665 --> 00:16:30,500
Get out!
428
00:16:30,535 --> 00:16:32,569
Hey! Don't laugh at me!
429
00:16:32,603 --> 00:16:35,739
Well, actually... uh...
it's not your tree house.
430
00:16:35,773 --> 00:16:37,274
And it's not Marcus's either.
431
00:16:37,308 --> 00:16:41,177
It's that weird, tall wiry guy
and he's not even around anyway.
432
00:16:41,212 --> 00:16:42,479
Oh, I'm around.
433
00:16:42,513 --> 00:16:44,981
And I take offense to the wiry comment.
434
00:16:45,016 --> 00:16:47,083
It's much more of a chiseled thing.
435
00:16:47,118 --> 00:16:49,219
Now get out of the tree house right now!
436
00:16:49,253 --> 00:16:50,186
Come on.
437
00:16:50,221 --> 00:16:52,689
Move it!
438
00:16:52,723 --> 00:16:54,991
Move it. Line up in front of Mrs. Bowa.
439
00:16:55,026 --> 00:16:57,527
I want you to apologize to her
440
00:16:57,562 --> 00:17:00,096
for being disrespectful little dudes.
441
00:17:00,131 --> 00:17:01,798
All: I'm sorry.
442
00:17:01,832 --> 00:17:05,368
Now, if we hear any of you
443
00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:07,504
who say a single bad word about Marcus,
444
00:17:07,538 --> 00:17:10,740
in school, in the
neighborhood, or anywhere else,
445
00:17:10,775 --> 00:17:13,243
I will destroy you.
446
00:17:13,277 --> 00:17:15,212
Are we clear?
447
00:17:15,246 --> 00:17:16,880
Anything to add?
448
00:17:16,914 --> 00:17:19,316
You are all God's children.
449
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:22,319
We still have love in our hearts for you.
450
00:17:25,122 --> 00:17:26,756
That too.
451
00:17:26,791 --> 00:17:28,491
Get out of here, scram.
452
00:17:28,526 --> 00:17:31,895
Let's go. Move it.
453
00:17:31,929 --> 00:17:34,197
Don't forget to put your helmets on.
454
00:17:34,232 --> 00:17:35,732
Thank you, Will.
455
00:17:35,766 --> 00:17:37,567
You were a little bit right.
456
00:17:37,602 --> 00:17:40,437
I just so want Marcus to have friends.
457
00:17:40,471 --> 00:17:42,172
Listen, you know, you were right...
458
00:17:42,206 --> 00:17:44,941
a little right too
about the New York thing.
459
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,676
I talked to Sam and
told her I was gonna stay
460
00:17:46,711 --> 00:17:50,714
a couple of extra days and
she didn't bat an eye, so...
461
00:17:51,749 --> 00:17:54,084
You'll work it out.
462
00:18:11,969 --> 00:18:13,904
I saw that your friends
cleaned out your supply,
463
00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:17,607
so I thought the least I could
do is replenish your stock.
464
00:18:17,642 --> 00:18:18,875
You mind if I come up?
465
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,744
Technically, it's your property.
466
00:18:25,549 --> 00:18:28,285
I know those guys weren't my friends, Will.
467
00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:30,187
But I was hoping I could grow on them
468
00:18:30,221 --> 00:18:33,256
like I grew on you.
469
00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:34,691
Thanks.
470
00:18:34,725 --> 00:18:37,227
Well, you know,
471
00:18:37,261 --> 00:18:40,163
all those times we were Facetiming,
472
00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:43,300
when you were telling me
how great everything was,
473
00:18:43,334 --> 00:18:45,135
I really wish you had told me the truth.
474
00:18:45,169 --> 00:18:49,773
I mean, if things are
tough, Marcus, I'm your guy.
475
00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:55,979
Come on.
476
00:18:56,013 --> 00:18:58,949
I thought about telling you.
477
00:18:58,983 --> 00:19:01,585
But I didn't want to make you feel bad.
478
00:19:01,619 --> 00:19:04,621
You're having the time
of your life in New York.
479
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:07,123
I wanted you to keep having a great time.
480
00:19:07,158 --> 00:19:10,927
You are loving New York, right?
481
00:19:10,962 --> 00:19:15,031
[Phone ringing]
482
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,901
Hold on a sec.
483
00:19:17,935 --> 00:19:19,069
Oh, I gotta take this. Real quick.
484
00:19:19,103 --> 00:19:20,604
I'll be right back, okay?
485
00:19:20,638 --> 00:19:21,905
Give me some good news, Richard.
486
00:19:21,939 --> 00:19:23,139
I am begging you.
487
00:19:23,174 --> 00:19:25,275
Nah, I got nothing on that, Will.
488
00:19:25,309 --> 00:19:27,277
But, I've been going through your finances
489
00:19:27,311 --> 00:19:29,980
and I think I found a way for
you to fix your money problems
490
00:19:30,014 --> 00:19:31,915
without you having to
change your lifestyle.
491
00:19:31,949 --> 00:19:33,016
Okay, talk to me.
492
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:34,484
My thought is,
493
00:19:34,519 --> 00:19:36,720
you sell the place in San Francisco.
494
00:19:36,754 --> 00:19:37,988
You're not living there.
495
00:19:38,022 --> 00:19:39,222
You're not even renting the place out.
496
00:19:39,257 --> 00:19:40,624
All you have to do is sell,
497
00:19:40,658 --> 00:19:43,193
and your money problems are solved.
498
00:19:43,227 --> 00:19:45,595
Easy fix, right?
499
00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:48,598
Yeah. That's easy.
500
00:19:51,769 --> 00:19:53,537
May I lay my hands on you?
501
00:19:56,541 --> 00:19:58,408
I... guess?
502
00:19:58,442 --> 00:20:00,610
Okay.
503
00:20:00,645 --> 00:20:06,116
I'm just going to gently massage you.
504
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:08,952
Andy, would you massage the goddess's feet?
505
00:20:08,986 --> 00:20:10,787
I'm not permitted to touch the goddess...
506
00:20:10,822 --> 00:20:12,689
Andy, do as the doula says.
507
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:21,298
It would be my absolute
honor to make you feel
508
00:20:21,332 --> 00:20:23,934
like the goddess you deserve to be, Laurie,
509
00:20:23,968 --> 00:20:25,402
throughout your pregnancy.
510
00:20:25,436 --> 00:20:29,606
And if I'm not here, Andy will massage you,
511
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,374
and Andy will take care of you,
512
00:20:31,409 --> 00:20:34,878
- and Andy is your servant.
- Servant?
513
00:20:34,912 --> 00:20:36,446
Andy, get the checkbook. Pay the doula.
514
00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:40,633
Sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com
515
00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:45,233
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