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Hi. I looked for you at school today.
How'd it go?
I hated it.
I can't believe I'm back there
and right in the middle of the year.
Yeah. I guess it's a little tough
starting after everyone else.
But, hey, at least you got to start on a half day.
Teacher work day.
What a crock.
All I did was register.
The bureaucracy of the American school system is absurd.
What a waste of my time.
I mean, in Scotland, we actually learned geography
and sociology by meeting people and actually traveling.
We learned history by going to castles
and even hanging out in pubs.
We learned accounting by living on our own
and managing our own money.
And philosophy.
I had a philosophy class.
They don't even offer philosophy at our stupid school.
I'm into philosophy myself.
I mean, I just read on my own.
A little Nietzsche, a little Kierkegaard.
Yeah, I'm sure you understand both of those guys,
reading on your own.
I do okay.
Don't kid yourself.
You can't get an education at our high school.
Uh, yes, you can.
If you want to.
No, you can't.
Well, then why don't you join the twins
and do a homeschooling program?
Yeah, like my mom and dad know anything.
Oh, I think they know plenty.
They've had very limited life experiences.
They've hardly traveled out of the country at all.
Unlike you.
I mean, you... you were away the entire six months.
Well, yeah, I mean, it was a real eye-opener.
You know, your parents are both really smart people.
And they read a lot,
and they have friends from all kinds of walks of life.
What does that have to do with anything?
Well, what difference does it make if you meet people
all over the world in Scotland or right here,
in the little hamlet of Glenoak?
Are you kidding me?
There's no culture here.
There's plenty of culture,
if you get outside your own head.
Excuse me?
You came back from six months in Scotland quite the...
"self-centered, I'm better than everyone else,
I'm smarter than everyone else" pain in the neck.
Didn't you?
You can't talk to me like that.
Oh, I sure can.
I actually just did.
And I'm not finished.
You better wise up.
Your dad is seriously ill.
Yeah. My dad, not your dad.
It's my dad.
And it's not your family, and it's none of your business.
What was that?
A threat?
Well, maybe it was.
What are you going to do about it?
I'll tell you what I'm going to do about it.
Ruthie and T Bone
Sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
(Sam and David snickering)
7th Heaven
When I see their happy faces
Smiling back at me
7th Heaven
I know there's no greater feeling
Than the love of family
Where can you go
When the world don't treat you right?
The answer is home
That's the one place that you'll find
7th Heaven
Mmm, 7th Heaven
7th Heaven.
I don't know, it's just that I'm the only one
that isn't married, doesn't have children.
And I know Aunt Pearl is going to ask me,
in front of everyone,
"Where's your boyfriend? Why aren't you married yet?
Don't you want to have children?"
Okay, I-let... let me just stop you right there.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I-I'm sure my problems seem really trivial to you right now,
when you're--I mean, I know...
Well, the clock's ticking for everyone, isn't it, Betsy?
So, this year,
why don't you just sit down next to Aunt Pearl
and tell her the truth.
Tell her that you care more about your job
than about being in a relationship
and-and that y-you just don't feel like
making any effort to meet a guy.
I make an effort.
No, you don't.
So, maybe you'll meet a guy, maybe you won't.
But if it depends on making an effort, then, well, you won't.
It's like, every time you sense a guy is interested,
you're so afraid of him that y-you run the other way.
Are-Are you scared or just lazy?
Then stop eating so much and exercise more.
No kidding, Phil. (chuckles)
I mean, that's really all there really is to it.
That, and you might consider why you eat so much.
You eat so much because your wife humiliates you.
And that makes you feel powerless.
And then she nags you to diet
and you get back at her by eating.
So break the cycle!
Get up tomorrow morning and start walking, you know?
Or-Or get into any diet program.
Or just, uh, keep a food journal.
Count your calories, set a limit.
Eat less, move more; it's not that complicated.
My wife doesn't humiliate me.
I think she does.
Lindsay, your brother hasn't spoken to you for three years
because, in his words, you are a jerk.
And I'm sure he thinks
you're still a jerk, 'cause all the man wants is an apology.
So just apologize to him.
I mean, you know you were wrong, and even if you weren't,
better to apologize than never see your brother again,
'cause I know you.
You love your brother, or you wouldn't have been talking
about this for three years.
But I think we were both wrong
and he owes me an apology, too.
(mimics buzzer sounding) Wrong answer.
Again-- no, you told his fianc?e
that he was still in love with his ex-wife,
and then his fianc?e left him.
Well, he was in love with his ex-wife.
Just apologize.
I don't care how much
your children want a-- whatever it is.
Children have to understand that they
can't have everything they want, even if Santa can figure out
a way to pay for it over the next 12 months.
Now, if, after paying for food, clothing and shelter,
and putting a set amount of money
into savings to reach your financial goals,
if you can then pay cash for it, then buy it
and enjoy it with your children--simple as that.
But, if you don't buy it,
the children will still love you.
Maybe even more.
I swear.
And-And I don't do that very often.
Now... if nobody ever buys you
anything you want, buy yourself something you want.
Or--this is harder--
share more of your life with those you love,
so that they get to know you better
and they know something that you might really want or-- bonus--
the feelings that you share with each other
will take the place of any present
and relieve your need to receive the perfect gift.
'Cause, you know, love... love is the perfect gift.
But you have to give love to get love.
You know, if you weren't...
Never mind. Um...
Thank you.
I...
How long are you going to complain about
not getting the doll for Christmas?
About not getting as much
as your brothers got when you were all children?
Because, God knows, you know,
your mother only sent the boys to the country,
during the Depression, so they could eat.
She wasn't favoring them.
She was just doing what she had to do.
She was probably afraid to send you to the country.
She probably thought they were tougher--I don't know.
What I do know is that... you've already missed
enjoying, what, 70 Christmases
at this point?
Dean's not ready; that's all I'm saying!
Dean's not ready.
Hey, good to see you.
Oh, I love you, Lucy.
Oh, that's so nice, Dad.
I love you, too.
What are you doing here?
Mom's cooking dinner for everyone.
She's going to be putting it
- on the table in, like, 15 minutes. -I know.
Kevin and I are going out of town for a couple of days.
Oh?
Second honeymoon...?
Yeah, we're going up to San Francisco--just for two days.
Hmm. Is Savannah staying with us?
Yeah, but Jane and Margaret are available to help.
And she likes them and they like her, you know.
Especially Margaret.
So I-I just wanted to stop by
and say good-bye before we leave.
Kevin's waiting for me in the parking lot.
Get any phone calls lately?
Phone calls?
Yeah. Any complaints?
Oh, uh, you mean about your counseling sessions?
Yeah, I got a few phone calls.
Not so much as complaints,
more just, uh, concerned phone calls.
What are they so concerned about?
Well, it's just that...
I think people don't really want me
to tell them what's wrong with them.
I think they just want me to, like, fix them
without doing any of the really hard work themselves.
I'm focusing in on seven people.
I got seven chronic complainers who want fixing bad.
Isn't that what everybody always wants--
you to fix them without having
to do any of the work themselves?
Pretty much, yeah.
Well, you don't have to be
in a hurry to fix them right now, do you?
I mean, nobody has to be fixed right this second, do they?
It's just kind of a gut feeling I have that the time is now.
So you came by here before leaving on your trip
in case anything happens to me?
I'm fine, Luce. Right now, I'm fine.
So you should just go have a wonderful time
in San Francisco with your husband.
Okay. But if you need me, you better call me.
- Promise. - Mm.
Your dad, uh, looked a little tired tonight, didn't he?
He's fine.
He looks fine; he's just old.
Everyone should just leave him alone
and quit talking about him and to him.
I don't know why everyone has to talk to him.
He's not that old.
Most of my friends in Scotland have parents
who are in their 30s-- he's in his 50s.
Only in his 50s.
Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have two parents?
Yes, and I don't need you to tell me.
Where's your mother, by the way?
Vegas.
She, uh, practically abandoned me,
so I'm declaring myself an adult.
You're what?
It's called emancipation.
Does my dad know?
He knows.
He's helping me.
You think he's helping you.
He's probably got your mother in some kind of program
where she'll show up at Christmas and take you home.
I don't think so.
Yeah, well, I think I know him
a little bit better than you do.
Right, because he is your father.
And you know him as your father.
Whereas I know him as a man, a minister
and a human being.
Therefore, I trust him to tell me
the truth when he advises me to declare my independence.
Whatever.
You know, I can do this by myself.
Yes, but my mom asked both of us
- to do it. - And since when
do you do what your parents tell you to do?
Told you.
Told her what?
You two like each other.
We do not like each other.
I think you do.
Seriously like.
Seriously.
We don't like each other.
They do.
Who does what?
Are you... two having a problem?
I'm not having a problem with Ruthie.
Ruthie, are you having a problem with me?
No.
ANNIE: With Margaret?
Are you having a problem with Margaret?
No.
No, I'm not having a problem with Margaret.
Well, that only leaves T Bone, and I know
you're not having a problem with T Bone.
What's the problem?
Okay,
whatever it is, you two take care of it.
Your-Your father's up to here with problems this time of year.
He can't take any more problems.
So you two straighten it out, right now.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Good night.
Good night.
What happened?
Nothing.
Nothing happened.
Liar.
No, I'm not lying.
You kissed her.
How did you know that?
She didn't.
(both laughing)
- Hi. - Hi.
Hi.
What's going on with you and T Bone?
You two avoided each other all during dinner.
Yeah, so go back down there and straighten things out
like your mom asked you to do.
I mean, the kid's--
he's had a really hard time, and he's a really nice guy.
I'm not having a problem with T Bone.
I don't where you guys would have gotten that from.
But I will go talk to him.
- Okay. - Hi, boys.
ERIC: Okay.
You think Ruthie's having a problem with T Bone?
Really?
Are they fighting?
Nope.
They're not fighting.
Okay.
They're in love.
Look after Savannah, will you, boys?
I need to talk to him.
Oh, go ahead.
Bye.
So is he a good kisser?
Thanks a lot.
(sighs): They guessed.
Right. Like you don't talk too much.
By the way, it was an accident.
It was not an accident.
Yeah, it was.
I meant to slap you.
Oh, you meant to slap me.
All right, I see.
You're practically like my brother.
You're living at my house.
Well, I would be like your brother
if you'd been living in your house,
but you haven't been living in your house,
so... not like your brother.
You're too young for me.
We're the same age.
Seriously, you're too immature for me.
Oh, is that right?
Everyone knows that guys
are not as mature as girls at this age.
I've... heard that.
But, uh, I'm a guy who's been living alone
and taking care of myself, by myself, for a very long time.
So that has matured me well beyond my years.
And your years, as well.
So, I may only be 17,
but make no mistake about it, I'm a man.
(chuckles): You are not a man.
And I doubt you're even 17.
Shh.
T BONE: Would, I, uh,
do this if I weren't a man?
Would I do this if I weren't a woman?
(chuckles): I never said you weren't a woman.
All right.
So I guess we're not really having any problems.
T BONE: No.
I, uh, would certainly say we're not having any problems.
Fine.
Fine.
Oh.
- We talked. - Good.
I'm glad you did.
Yeah. Me, too.
I'm going to bed now.
- Good night. - Good night.
- Love you, Ruthie. - Love you, Ruthie.
Yeah. Love you, too.
I'm happy you're home.
Yeah. It's okay.
For now.
Night.
Well...
I guess it's homework time.
Uh, good night.
Thanks again for daughter.
Dinner.
(T Bone chuckles)
Did... I just say "daughter"?
I believe you did.
Dinner.
Uh, really a good dinner, Mrs. Camden.
Thank you.
And good night, T Bone.
Good night.
(chuckles)
Well... it's a little early just to go to bed.
Yeah, if we were just going to bed.
Oh, seriously, you just are too immature for me.
(chuckles)
Come on, Dad.
Yeah, we can't wait to find out
what happens in the story.
Yeah, but what if we don't start with English?
What if there's a pop quiz instead?
- Yes! - Yes!
I didn't say what subject.
We studied last night-- every subject.
Spelling!
Please, Dad?
Hmm.
Is it me, or were they always so enthusiastic about school?
Uh, let me think, uh...
It's you.
Where are our two lovebirds this morning?
They left early.
They took the bus.
You know, they didn't want
to bother us with driving them to school.
- Oh. - I know it's not right
that Ruthie likes a boy who's living in our house, but...
But I think I saw her smile last night.
I know-- isn't it great?
Aren't we missing a-a wee baby girl?
Oh, Jane and Margaret took her for a walk,
along with Samson and Delilah and Happy.
Jane and Margaret are up?
Yeah. Jane has a job interview this morning at 11:00.
Receptionist for an environmental
public relations firm.
Did you find that for her?
Well, she was doing
her usual routine about how much she hates eating meat
when a customer at the Dairy Shack walks up
and offers to have her meet with him at his company about a job.
It's a miraculous time of the year.
You sent him to the Dairy Shack, didn't you?
Winston James-- he goes to our church.
Mm...
(clicks tongue)
(sighs)
I really hope you get that job.
Me, too. But I hate to leave you at the Shack.
Hello.
Merry Christmas!
Uh-oh.
Hi!
Is that Savannah Kinkirk?
Hey, we didn't steal her, okay?
We're just helping out the Camdens. Honest.
Oh, you're the girls living in the garage apartment.
Maybe.
Can we help you with something?
Reverend Camden said that you were the talkative one,
so you must be the one who likes children.
I do.
Would you be interested in mine?
No, I mean, Reverend Camden suggested
that you might make a really good nanny.
And I'd be willing to pay a lot of money, a lot of money.
I just don't want to send Georgina
back to day care, and, well, I have to go back to work.
I have to--we have this family business and...
Well, would you?
(shrieks): Yes!
I mean, yes, I'd love to.
I really would.
I'm gonna try to go back to school,
but I could take classes at nights,
or on weekends, or online, even.
And, in the meantime... we could be such great friends.
I love the park, I love animals, I love to read books
and watch the same videos over and over.
And I can make odd things out of Play-Doh.
And I love playing dress up and braiding hair.
And I know how to make cookies
from refrigerated cookie dough...
Hired.
(brief chuckle)
So, am I supposed to act as if I know you or not?
Or not.
But everyone knows I live in your house.
Yeah, okay, but you're not my boyfriend.
We just know each other from the house.
Okay. As long as that means we can still make out,
I don't really care.
We can't keep making out-- my parents already know.
No, they don't.
Sam and David saw us.
And if they didn't tell them last night,
they told them this morning.
I mean, believe me, those two cannot keep a secret.
And neither can your buddies Jane and Margaret.
Believe me, someone has told them, or will tell them soon.
And once the secret is out,
your living arrangements could be in jeopardy.
Maybe someone's already told them; maybe they don't care.
You think my parents are so much cooler than they really are.
Well, maybe they're a little cooler than you think.
Stop acting like you know more about my family than I do.
Maybe I do.
No, you don't.
Well, I know that your father's critically ill.
Yeah, but he's not going to die.
He's not.
Okay.
I certainly hope not. I mean...
I don't want anything to happen to him,
but he is walking around with a bad heart.
You think I don't know that?
I think you don't act like that.
I don't act like it
because it would be a burden on him.
And it's not a burden acting as if you don't care?
I care.
He knows I care.
How?
I mean, I showed up, didn't I?
You had to.
I wanted to.
Well, I think that would be news to everyone.
Well, I mean, everyone should just understand
that it's not easy coming back under these circumstances.
It's hard.
I love my dad.
But I have to leave, every morning,
knowing that I may never see him again.
But you didn't even say good-bye to him this morning.
Me?
That was my fault?
You said you wanted to take the bus.
Well, I didn't know you were feeling
the way you were feeling.
You never said anything.
And I thought we would make out on the bus.
Like you weren't thinking that.
(phone ringing)
Hello.
Hey, Dad, it's me.
I didn't get to say good-bye to you this morning.
Oh, that's okay. I knew you wanted to get to the bus.
You and T Bone.
(mouthing)
Yeah.
All right, well, I'll let you go.
Oh, uh, no, no.
Uh, I'm glad you called.
I got this, uh, package here from the mailman,
and it's from you.
It looks like it was sent a month ago.
I just wondered if it was meant for Christmas
or if I could, uh, open it now.
Oh, you can open it.
It's not really a Christmas present.
It's stupid.
I don't even know if you'll like it.
(school bell rings)
All right, well, I'll let you go. Bye.
Bye, Ruthie. Love you.
And tell T Bone good-bye, too.
He says to tell you good-bye, too.
Not so close.
Is that for you?
It is.
It's a kilt.
Ruthie sent it from Scotland.
Isn't it great?
Are you going to wear it?
I most certainly am.
You're not afraid people will laugh at you?
I don't care if people laugh at me.
I love this. I love it.
I'm going to go right upstairs and try it on.
He's brave.
And funny.
And smart.
And kind.
I just hope he has good legs.
I just hope he has a good heart.
(chuckles softly)
Baby.
(sighs)
I have to admit, you look brilliant.
Well, got to get down to the church.
Uh, y-you're gonna... go to the church wearing your
skirt? Kilt?
Yeah, I-I mean, I've wanted one of these my whole life.
Oh, you never mentioned it.
- Didn't I? - No.
Well, you know what? Maybe...
maybe I'll wear this from now until Christmas.
Maybe I'll have the weeks
after Thanksgiving and before Christmas
declared kilt-wearing weeks,
and I'll wear them this time of year, every year.
All right, if that's what you want to do.
Hey, uh, by the way,
any news on who's coming for Christmas and who's not?
Everybody's coming.
Matt and Sarah?
Mary and Carlos?
And all the multitudes they have begat?
All of them.
And-And Simon's going to show up?
He is.
With...?
Well, I have a feeling he has a girlfriend,
but he's not saying.
And Sandy and Aaron are going to stay with us
while her dad stays across the street
with Martin and his dad.
So we will have a full house,
especially with Jane and Margaret and T Bone.
T Bone.
How great is it that she has a boyfriend?
A boyfriend.
A boyfriend for the holiday season.
And the entire family's gonna be here, all of them,
for Christmas Eve?
God willing.
I hope they're not all just...
coming because I'm...
Oh, no.
Things just worked out that way this year.
Yeah, I doubt it, but... I don't care.
For whatever reason, I'll be happy to see them, all of them.
Yeah, me, too.
Well, I'd better be on my way.
Bye, boys.
(chuckles)
Good-bye, Savannah.
Good-bye, Annie.
(laughs)
I'll see you around 7:00?
- Yeah. I love you. - Love you, too.
All of you.
And all of you. (imitates dog barking)
Bye.
You think it's safe for Dad to go to work in a skirt?
Some people might not like it.
Oh, we don't care if some people like it or not.
If Daddy wants to wear his skirt,
then he can wear his skirt.
And it's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
What's the difference?
Well, a skirt is a skirt and a kilt is a...
is a kilt.
(Eric whistling happily)
Whoa.
Wasn't really expecting anyone.
Sorry. I just wanted to say thank you so much.
She settled for an engagement ring.
His mother's ring.
And a date.
We're getting married next New Year's Eve.
Isn't that perfect?
It's only 12 months, two weeks and a day away.
Congratulations.
She wanted you to be the first to know.
Once the pressure was off, I don't know, I just...
Well, I realized how much she means to me.
Happy, happy, happy holidays.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, uh...
uh, I can come back when you're not so busy.
Oh, no, we were just leaving.
Bye, Reverend Camden.
Bye. And, hey, nice skirt.
Yeah.
It was a gift.
From Ruthie.
You're getting your gifts early this year?
Yeah, I guess I am.
Uh, have a seat, make yourself comfortable.
No, I just wanted you to know how very, uh, happy I am
that you were so terribly rude to me yesterday.
Was I? I'm sorry.
You were, and, uh--
But as it turns out, it's exactly what I needed.
I went from here straight over to the post office,
and I picked up one of the letters to Santa,
and this year, I'm going to be a Santa myself.
I'm taking a very special doll
to a little girl who lives in my neighborhood.
Isn't that wonderful?
It is wonderful.
Well, it's all because of you.
I have a feeling it's 'cause of somebody greater than me.
Well, I hope you and your family
have the loveliest Christmas you've ever had.
I wish the same for you.
Sorry to interrupt.
Oh, no, not a problem. What's up?
I need a letter of reference.
Changing jobs?
No, no.
I love my job and I love the money it pays.
The problem is, I have too much money
and too big a house and no family to share it with.
I've decided to adopt.
Really?
Well, you have to give love to get love.
And the gift I want to give myself is a family.
I've always wanted a dozen children,
and I don't know if or when I'll ever get married,
so I'm going to start a family on my own.
I'm going to start
with a sibling group of five from Ethiopia.
Five?
Why not?
Thank you, Reverend Camden, for pushing me yesterday.
My pleasure.
Nice skirt.
Don't get up. You can show off your skirt some other time.
I just want to say
I had a long talk with the children,
and I gave them a choice.
They can either have that
crazy expensive electronic whatever-it-is
and no allowance for six months, or they can just have me,
without my cell phone or e-mail for three days--
December 24, 25 and 26.
And they took that one.
(chuckles)
They got so excited,
I'm giving them December 31 and January 1,
electronic-free, too.
So, um, you were right and I was wrong.
And that's all I came to say.
That, and thank you.
I'm-I'm really looking forward to Christmas
and the rest of my debt-free year.
Merry Christmas.
(phone ringing)
Hello. It's Eric Camden.
I just thought you should know
that I just got back from apologizing.
You apologized to your brother?
No, I apologized to his ex-fianc?e.
Oh.
And she's still single and still interested.
Now all I have to do is apologize to my brother,
who's still single and still interested.
So, there you go.
Next time, don't wait three years to yell at me.
I wasn't yelling.
Yes, you were.
And what's with the skirt?
I hear you're wearing a skirt.
I wish I had time to come by and see it,
but I want to change before I go to my brother's house.
Merry Christmas.
Same to you.
So, uh, busy afternoon?
Uh, yes, it is.
But a very nice afternoon.
I just got back from Overeaters.
Good for you, Phil.
Good for you. What'd you think?
Well, there's a lot of humiliation going around.
I agree.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no-- I wanted to wear this.
No, this, this was a gift from-from Ruthie.
She was living in Scotland, you know.
She's part of an exchange program.
I just came from a meeting,
and I've heard enough family stories for one day.
- Okay. - I don't know how you do it--
listening to one person after another, after another,
complaining and complaining.
I like people.
I do.
Y-You might say I even love people.
Well, hey, I'm a married man.
(chuckles)
But, uh, I have to go home and talk to my wife.
Really talk to her.
We got some stuff to work out.
Good time of year to start fresh.
Yeah. It is.
Thanks, Rev.
(chuckles)
(phone ringing)
Where are you?
I'm sorry.
I-I'm having the nicest day.
Well, don't be sorry about having the nicest day.
What's going on?
Well, everybody I yelled at, or practically yelled at,
has come back by here today
to give me some bit of good news.
And everyone's coming home for Christmas.
And I'm wearing a kilt.
I'm just insanely happy.
Well, me, too.
Five minutes. Be home in five minutes.
Oh, you know, it's-it's meat night, so don't be late.
It's not gonna come around for another week.
How great is that?
Meat night.
Completely forgot. What are we having?
Well, pork chops, very lean, baked,
with just a little bit of barbecue sauce.
I'm in heaven just hearing about that.
Oops. Uh, another visitor.
Okay, well, make this the last one.
Promise. Love you.
I love you, too.
I was kind of expecting you.
Didn't sound like it.
No, no, I-I was.
It's been that kind of day.
Sit down.
Oh, no, that's okay.
And I'm sorry for not calling first,
but I was just driving by and I sort of got pulled in.
Is that a kilt?
Yes, it is.
Okay.
Whatever.
Did something happen today? Something good?
Did he tell you already?
- He? - Van.
Van?
Well, I ran into him
last night at the grocery store.
I didn't know.
He's asked me out before.
I think he tries to sit next to you every Sunday at church,
but you always put yourself at the end of a row,
you know, next to a family, so there's no room.
I wasn't aware.
Or maybe I was.
And?
Oh, well, he was buying
something for dinner and I was buying
something for dinner and... I don't know.
We just decided to go out for dinner.
- Oh? - Uh, so I took him
to Aunt Pearl's restaurant.
She invited him to Christmas dinner.
Well, I'll be darned.
(laughing): Me, too.
And, you know, we stayed out so late,
I missed a deadline for work.
And nothing bad happened?
(laughs): No.
Um, anyway, I just... thought I should tell you.
Thank you.
No, thank you, Reverend.
For everything.
For helping me, for helping everyone.
I don't know what we would do without you.
Hey, with any luck, we-we won't have
to find that out for a long, long time.
So you're doing okay?
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
And I don't know, I just, I have this feeling
that something almost magical is happening to me today.
Maybe it's the season.
Maybe it is.
Happy holidays.
Merry Christmas.
Hmm.
All this and pork chops, too.
Thank you.
(groans quietly)
(phone ringing)
Oh...
Hello.
Oh, hey, Luce.
I'm-- No, I'm fine.
H-How are you?
How's San Francisco?
(humming happily)
Good God, man!
You almost scared the skirt off me.
And-And, now, don't ask-- you-you can't have it.
Funny you should say that.
What?
I was just thinking,
how come you never ask to live?
I don't know.
Just grateful to be alive.
Had a wonderful day.
I'm heading home for a wonderful meal.
Hey, you want to join us, Stanley?
And have some, uh, pork chops with us.
Oh, no, not-not tonight.
Maybe some other night.
I'm-I'm not a fan of "the other white meat."
Not enough fat on it.
Yeah.
I like a big, juicy steak.
With the fat on it.
That's probably why my heart's so good.
Why, I eat that fat and my whole body adapts to the fat.
(both laughing)
How come you don't ask to live?
I mean, anything I ask for, I get.
I'm no better than you.
What keeps you from asking, man?
Did you come by just to find that out?
I did.
I don't know, Stanley.
How's the family?
They're fine, thank you.
Annie?
Oh, she's great.
Hey, we got this new bed.
It's one of those, uh, like, electronic things.
Uh, it was a gift.
The twins?
They're both doing well.
Yeah, and they're both so smart.
They love homeschooling,
and I'm enjoying spending the time with them.
And Reverend Kinkirk-- where is she?
Oh, she and Kevin took off for a few days in San Francisco.
She's very resilient, that Lucy.
And the little one?
- Ruthie's in love. - (chuckles)
She doesn't know it yet, but, yeah, I think she's in love,
and with a guy I actually like.
And the rest of them?
All the children are well-- all of them--
and they're all coming home for Christmas.
(chuckles) And what about the ones that aren't your kids?
They're fine, too. Yeah.
All's right with the world, Stanley.
Well, that's what I like to hear, Reverend.
But, uh, do me a favor.
Just ask about living.
Okay, I-I will, Stanley.
Is there anything else?
Nothing for right now.
And thank you.
For what?
For everything.
(chuckles)
Let me live, Lord.
Let me live.
(gasping quietly)
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