All language subtitles for 7th Heaven s08e05v The Kid.eng

(organ playing upbeat tune)

(dog barking)

(dog barking)

SIMON:
This is our house...

only it's not our house

because it belongs
to the church.

My dad is a Protestant minister.

Because my dad and mom
moved here

shortly after they were married

with my dad's first big
assignment,

we all grew up here.

Or we're growing up here...

in this house
that really isn't ours.

Most of the time,
that doesn't bother me, but...

you know, sometimes it does.

Maybe someday
I'll become rich enough

to buy it from the church,
so we can keep it in the family.

It's not impossible.

I've always been known
as the Bank of Simon.

I'm good with money.

When I was ten,
I begged my dad for a dog.

And when that didn't work,
I went to a higher authority.

I was certain that a dog would
just appear out of the ether,

but... (chuckles)
Dad wasn't so sure.

"Simon, if by some great
cosmic coincidence,

"a dog happens to come to you
here at the house, fine,

"but you don't go out
looking for a dog,

and you don't trick one
into coming into the yard."

Fortunately,
in addition to delivering

many heartfelt prayers,
I also begged my mom for a dog,

and she stopped by the pound
and rescued one--

this one, Happy.

So, I believed
my prayers were answered.

Dad let me keep her,

even though we found out
she was having puppies.

(barking)

The curly-haired one is Ruthie.

She's my youngest sister.

We shared a room at one time

for a long time,

and that's probably why
I still feel closest to her.

We've been through a lot
together--

that and the fact
that she's saner

than my two older sisters.

Lucy is 21.

She's been married
about six months to Kevin.

He's a cop.

Lucy wants to follow

in my father's footsteps
and become a minister.

And evidently, Mary has decided

to follow
in my mother's footsteps

because she's 22
and she's gonna have a baby

with her husband, Carlos.

They got married the week
after Lucy and Kevin...

only, no one knew.

They just told us when they
found out they were pregnant.

This is my older brother, Matt.

He's 24 now.

Second year of medical school.

He's married, too, to Sarah.

She's also 24 and in her
second year of medical school.

They've all married young,

but what are we supposed to do?

It's get married and have sex

or don't get married
and don't have sex.

And of course, we've all
wrestled with the other choices.

Although she better not
be wrestling

with anyone anytime soon,

especially him.

He better not even think
about coming anywhere near her.

Oh, that's... that's Peter,
Ruthie's boyfriend.

And these two are Sam and David,
my youngest brothers.

They're four.

They're twins.

Right, four-year-old twins.

Matt's 24.

Uh, here's the family.

Mary's 22.

Lucy's 21.

I'm 17.

Ruthie's 13.

And then Sam and David
are four.

We were all surprised

when Mom and Dad decided
to have more children...

and happy.

We were happy--

happy and surprised.

But... we shouldn't have been.

My mom and dad have always
been hot for each other.

I can't think of a better way
to describe them.

I think they're the reason
Matt, Mary and Lucy got married.

They want that.

We all want that.

It's like...
being in seventh heaven

permanently.

* 7th Heaven *

* When I see
their happy faces *

* Smiling back at me

* 7th Heaven *

* I know there's
no greater feeling *

* Than the love of family

* Where can you go

* When the world
don't treat you right? *

* The answer is home

* That's the one place
that you'll find *

* 7th Heaven *

* Mmm, 7th Heaven *

* 7th Heaven. *

SIMON:
It takes a lot of work to get that kind

of relationship
and keep it going,

and no one's tried harder
than Lucy.

She got off to a bad start.

Jimmy Moon,
Lucy's first true love.

True loser.

I thought she'd never
get rid of him.

But, as her luck would have it,
he got rid of her.

All because she went blonde.

And I take full credit.

I thought it was a good idea.

Jimmy didn't.

Jimmy Moon was busted for pot.

He served time
as a high school narc,

and then just when we thought
he'd gone straight,

Lucy ran into him
when she was on jury duty.

He was the defendant.

And that's the short story.

From Jimmy,
Lucy moved on to Rod.

Then back to Jimmy.

Then Jimmy and Rod.

Eventually, someone had
to make a decision.

They became the best of friends,
Jimmy and Rod.

Lucy was left out in the cold,
but not for long.

She bounced around
between Charlie and Bryan

and a Frenchman named Guy.

Then she met Kenny.

She thought he was too good
to be true.

Then Stevie...

followed by Joe.

He and Lucy took on Mary
and her boyfriend

in a make-out competition.

Briefly after that was Tyler,
and that brings us to...

Andrew Nayloss.

It was another on-again,
off-again relationship

that ended when Andrew's dad
sent him to Europe one summer

to get him away from Lucy.

He returned to announce,

"I did a really stupid thing.

"I... I met a girl.

"We got pregnant, and I'm going
back to France to live."

Lucy bounced back eventually,

hooking up with Mike Pierce,
a guy who had tried

to commit suicide, reconsidered
the selfishness of it all

and put his heart
into living again.

A winner, her first real winner.

Unfortunately,
they had no chemistry.

Mike introduced her to Jeremy.

They had chemistry.

Lucy asked him to marry her.

He said yes.

She moved in with him
and his family in New York

so they could start college
and their life together.

She broke it off
when she found out

his pothead musician parents
thought she was no fun.

The next time out,
Lucy waited for the proposal.

And waited... and waited.

But when he finally asked her
to marry him,

Kevin did it right.

And she said yes.

She was on her way to this.

This is Mary.

Her first kiss
was with Matt's friend, Jeff.

Her first love, however,
was Wilson West.

17, widower, teen father--

not the kind of guy who deserved

an on-again, off-again
relationship,

but there's just something
about Mary.

After Wilson
was a Jim and a Brad

and a Jay and a George,

but the next real love
for Mary was...

Robbie Palmer.

They met while performing
community service.

Mary loved him.

My parents hated him.

Then Mary hated him,
and my parents loved him.

Then Mary loved him.

Then hated him.

Then my parents,
still in love with him,

took him in
because he was homeless

and probably because Mary
had moved a safe distance

of 3,000 miles away
to grow up with my grandparents

in Buffalo, New York.

They got her.

We got him.

Robbie became
like a brother to us

and another son to Mom and Dad,
but eventually,

he moved to Florida
to be a brother

to his real brothers
and a son to his real mother.

But he's probably stayed away
from his no-good dad

At least, we hope so.

But back to Mary.

Meanwhile, in Buffalo,
Mary got back with Wilson,

but threw it all away
for a new guy:

Ben.

Then changed her mind
and went back to Wilson,

but changed her mind again
and went back to Ben.

Ben is Kevin's brother,

but Lucy met Kevin
after Mary had dumped Ben again.

She was confused.

They were confused.

We were all confused.

And then we met...

Jack, a man my father's age.

Then we were shocked...
and amused

and appalled,

but just when we thought
she'd end up with this old man,

she threw us a curve
and got married... to Carlos,

and as I mentioned,
they're gonna have a baby,

and as I didn't mention,

this all happened months
after they were married,

not months
before they were married,

although I'm sure
that's the rumor at church.

Sidebar: the story of Mary
and Lucy would be incomplete

if I didn't mention
the loves they've shared.

Jordan Johansen.

Jordan, aka Big Lips.

Lucy caught him; Mary stole him,

but threw him back to Lucy,
who eventually dumped him.

Candidate #2,
if we skip the fight

over the French foreign student.

Mary broke up with Robbie.

Lucy broke up with Jeremy,
and somehow,

Lucy and Robbie
found themselves making out,

which wasn't too surprising

because Lucy is the queen
of making out.

Before Robbie, she had made out
with his brother.

And before that brother,
she made out

with another one
of his brothers.

That's right.

Lucy made out
with all three Palmer brothers.

But Lucy and Mary
briefly shared only the one.

Hopefully, Florida will
be better to him than Glenoak.

But let's move on
to my older brother, Matt.

I told you
about Mary and Lucy first

because I know more about
their relationships than his.

I know he loved Heather.

I thought he'd marry her.

He almost did...

a couple of times,
but who knows?

Maybe he loved them all.

Matt dated a lot of women.

I don't remember
all their names,

but I found pictures
of a couple of them.

Here's Dr. Laroe...

his English lit teacher.

He thought she
was sending him signals,

so he tried to kiss her.

This is Jenny.

Matt met her one Christmas

when he was working
as a mall Santa Claus.

But here's
an interesting woman, Sheryl.

We first heard about her
when Mary found out Robbie

was seeing her the same time
he was seeing Mary.

Then she came back into our
lives when she and Robbie

thought they were pregnant
and wanted to get married.

They weren't, and they didn't.

And then somehow
Matt hooked up with her.

Now, I find it hard to believe
they never... you know.

Look at her. She's gorgeous.

Of all the girls
he loved before,

no one compares to Sarah Glass,

now Sarah Camden,

the rabbi's daughter
and my brother's wife.

He asked her to marry him
on the first date.

Love at first sight.

But can they achieve this?

Who knows?

Can any of them?

He has family money,

and yet, they're living
in an apartment over the garage.

Why?

Does he love us, the family,
more than her?

And do they love each other
enough to start a family

six months after bumping
into each other in New York?

Let's ask the expert.
(phone rings)

Ruthie says whether or not
they make it isn't the question.

The question is whether or not
they'll enjoy the journey

and learn from it.

She's only 13, but I think
she's already found it.

Peter Petrowski.

I know I don't want him
anywhere near her,

but I do think
she's made a good choice,

a winner
first time out of the gate.

Ruthie is smarter than any
of us, smarter than me anyway.

Deena, Carole, and Sue;
Sally, Maria...

and others,
like Marsha and Sasha.

That's the brief and tumultuous
journey that's brought me here.

Cecilia.

I'm in love with Cecilia,
but I'm not ready to be in love.

I'm only 17;
I'm ready to see the world...

at least a world
that doesn't have me following

in Matt's and Mary's and Lucy's
footsteps to the altar.

Because before I get
what they have,

I want to know who I am.

I don't know if I've ever had
a normal friend.

Now that I think of it,

none of us have ever had
a normal friend.

As Ruthie says, "Believe me,

"almost every friend
we've ever had in this house

has something wrong with them."

We might as well look
at Matt's friends first,

since he's the oldest.
(siren wailing)

Mrs. Bink.

Matt helped her run errands.

She helped him quit smoking.

He also helped her with a doctor
that was giving her a hard time.

Renee was pregnant.

Everyone was relieved

to find out
Matt wasn't the father.

He was just trying to help her,
and help her he did.

He may not have been there
for the conception,

but he was there a thousand
percent for the delivery.

Maybe this is where his interest
in gynecology and obstetrics

actually began.

Steve was a ten-year-old
with a terminal diagnosis,

who wanted to get out of
the hospital and play baseball.

Matt smuggled him out
and made his dreams come true.

Emma Hooten worked
at the hardware store

and was wearing
my mom's wedding ring

that was stolen at a robbery.

Matt tried to tell George
to dump out his beer

at Matt's party,
but he wouldn't listen.

Leonard, the editor
of the school paper,

tried to use Matt
to increase circulation.

Matt showed up just in time
to save Kevin,

who had sucked down
so much booze he almost died.

Mason was going to marry Heather

until Matt found out
he was cheating on her.

Teresa stole Matt's car.

She was another pregnant woman
on the run

who Matt had stopped to help.
(tires screeching)

James was the son
of the richest guy in Glenoak.

Matt agreed to tutor him,

but James wanted
more help than that.

He cheated off Matt's test.

They both got busted
and James finally confessed.

Cheryl was traumatized
by her mother's boyfriend,

who always called her
a dumb blonde.

Matt was working at the clinic

when Gina Miller came in
with chronic stomach pain

and could have died
if Matt didn't help her.

(basketball bouncing)

Mary, who has often needed
help herself,

has also found time
to help others.

Denise was being teased at
school for the way she dressed.

Mary played basketball
with Diane and was there

to dial 911 when Diane
almost overdosed on ephedrine.

Coach Koper was
Mary's basketball coach,

a very bad man.

Cory was another girl
on the basketball team.

She had her all-sports award
yanked when people found out

she was the unwed mother
of a five-year-old.

Mary handed over the award
and got Cory a lot of respect.

Molly.

Mary coached her team

of developmentally challenged
basketball players.

It was Mary who got Dad
to help Lisa.

She was abused
by her mother's boyfriend.

Jill and Barb were trying to get
Lucy to drink with them...

until Mary showed up.

She met Frankie and Johnny
at Pete's Pizza.

They were beyond Mary's help.

After getting Mary
to drink and drive,

they brought her into
their troubled married life,

which included a baby
and a lot of pot,

but Mary tried to help them.

(phone rings)

Let's move on to Lucy,
who has the longest list.

This is our neighbor Mike.

Lucy befriended him
when no one else would.

That was a fun Halloween.

Lucy helped Mike win
the pumpkin-carving contest,

although she did steal a couple
of pumpkins from him first.

She got dad to help Suzanne.

She and her mother
were victims of a guy

who refused
to pay child support.

Her friend Shelby
was embarrassed

about where she lived.

Her mom's welfare was cut off.

Lucy got help
for her friend Laurie,

who was verbally abused
by her mother,

who was verbally abused
by her mother.

How hard is it to say
"I love you" to your kid?

Lucy got them help, too.

When Rod's mom died

and he couldn't face his father,

Lucy helped him get through it

while she hid him in her closet.

Nicole, a cutter,

abused herself
by cutting her legs and arms.

It's a self-abuse problem
I'd never heard of.

Lucy helped Ashley,
a girl at school.

Her mother wanted
to be her best friend,

robbing Ashley of having
a real mother and a childhood.

Mike Pierce asked Lucy
to set him up with Elaina Casey,

who had acne and thought
Lucy was playing a prank on her.

When the garage apartment
needed finishing,

Lucy brought home Ray,
the out-of-work carpenter.

He staged a fall
and tried to sue us.

Paul.

Lucy helped him talk his family

into allowing him
to pursue his dreams

of performing
with The Famous People Players.

Christine-- ex-hooker,
houseguest, heart of gold.

Who wouldn't help her?

(horse galloping, neighing)

Ah, now we're getting
to Ruthie's friends.

This is Eisenhower.

He needed a mate.

This is where
Ruthie's friend Ben lived.

His parents invested everything
into Y2K.

Remember that scare?

Ruthie had a great idea
for her class story contest

until her friend Chrissy tried
to steal it.

Her teacher Miss Riddle
called Ruthie stupid.

She had some anger issues
to resolve.

Ruthie switched schools
and met Julia,

whose mother lost her job
and couldn't afford groceries.

Yasmine-- a moderate Muslim

just trying to get to school and
back without getting harassed.

Ruthie met Caitlin
at the stables.

She's a competitive
steeplechase jockey

who faces the challenge
of living with cystic fibrosis.

Actually,
she probably helped Ruthie

more than Ruthie helped her.

(horse galloping, neighing)

(buzzing)

MAN:
Quiet on the set.

SIMON:
I have friends of my own, of course.

I once stood up for Nigel
when some jerk on the playground

called him the "N" word.

Another time at school, a bully
named Mark was teasing me.

When he ripped his pants,
I lent him my jacket to cover up

so the other kids
would stop making fun of him.

My friend Stan
was having trouble sleeping.

His sister Karen had joined
a gang and couldn't get out.

Larry's dad had told him
that the Holocaust was a hoax.

I found a little girl
named Sarah

on the street near our house.

(Happy barking)
Her alcoholic dad

had left her there.

Marie and Joan approached me
at school,

wanting me to go to their party.

They actually just wanted me
to bring Lucy.

It wasn't long
after I started high school

that suddenly it seemed
like everybody was on drugs.

I signed up to help out
with the audio-visual club

and found out that every one
of them was huffing paint.

My friend Lee had
a drug problem, too.

His dad just couldn't quit
smoking pot.

Bobby suffers from Tourette's

and was being tortured
at school.

Nick was mentally unstable
and carried a gun.

Luckily, the authorities
seized it before he used it.

We weren't quite as lucky with
Deena's ex-boyfriend Johnny,

who shot my dad.

(gunshot)

It's no surprise I couldn't find
a picture of my friend Luke.

He was like the invisible man.

Nobody believed any of the
funny stories I told about Luke

or that he even existed...
until they met him.

Later that year, I helped Sasha
end a bad relationship

with a guy named Larry.

There was also Claire.

She had a problem
I still can't talk about,

let alone show you her picture.

I don't know
where we find these people.

Oh, no, no, wait.

I do know.

They find us,
and many more find him.

(church bell ringing)

(organ playing)

Whose favorite saying is:

"Forget trying to help people
and just try to be harmless."

Here are a few people
he was harmless to.

Reverend Morgan Hamilton's
church was burned down

and my dad insisted
his entire family

come stay with us
and that they were welcome

at our church.

Steve and Susan needed
more than counseling.

Steve had never divorced
his first wife.

Terry was a drug addict

that stumbled upon our doorstep
for help.

Abbey Morris had been abused

by her husband for years
and was too afraid to leave him.

Dad helped her get away from him
and get help.

There was also Steve Cunningham,

who was out of work and living
in a van with his family.

Aunt Julie was an alcoholic.

Dad helped her to admit to it
and get treatment.

This young minister suffered

from epilepsy.

Dad helped him get back
to his job at the church,

then helped Mrs. Hinkle get out
of her job

at the church when she wanted
to retire as church organist.

Dad later helped her
get her house back.

He got Pam Sander's ex-husband
Bill to pay child support.

He counseled Bob and Ellen
Jackson when they were divorcing

and had forgotten
about their daughter Tia.

Dad went with Nora Chambers
to confront

her husband's murderer so she
could move on with her life.

Will Grayson had just come out
of witness protection

and needed to reconnect
with his son.

Ron Kramer was an ex-con.

He couldn't get work.

Lou Dalton needed to find

an affordable care
for his autistic son Lewis.

A lot of women must be attracted
to men of the cloth.

Over the years there were
several that came after my dad,

including
recently divorced Nancy

and also Serena,
who just needed counseling;

my teacher Mr. Lane

was going to lose his job

for protecting a student
from his abusive father.

They always call in my dad when
something happens in Glenoak.

Peter McKinley was going
to jump off a roof

over the cheap jeans
his mother bought for him.

Jack Brenner, the President
of Crawford University,

created a scandal
when he cheated on his wife

with a graduate student.

Dad got George
into anger management classes.

He had been slapped around
his whole life by his mother

and was starting
to get abusive himself.

He made a trip down to the IRS
when he met Clarence.

Clarence and his mom
had been stuck

with her ex-husband's tax debt.

Elizabeth Brown lost
her son Alan

and couldn't recover
from her loss.

Everyone thought school janitor
Rudy Steineger was crazy

when he said
he was talking to God.

Dad helped his fellow jurors

on trial overcome their
prejudices and rule fairly.

He does a lot
of relationship counseling.

He helped Jessica and Ryan.

He was a control freak

and wouldn't let her do anything
on her own.

And Ted,
who had a drinking problem

that was leading to divorce
and nearly killed Lucy and Mary.

Dad helped the Carberrys,

who couldn't see their dog
through to the end.

James Carver had lost his wife

and thought he had a crush
on my mom.

Bird needed help forgiving
her dead father

for verbally abusing her.

Sachiko was a Japanese-American

who had been
in an internment camp.

Someone once wrote anonymously
to my dad at church.

All this kid wanted was
a prayer to end violence

and to comfort all those

whose lives had been affected
by violence.

Dad also visits a lot
of sick people at the hospital.

(siren wailing)

That's where he met Harold,

who needed the courage to live

despite the fact he had
a terminal diagnosis.

Tim came to see him
at his office.

He was missing an arm,
literally.

Ramon Reyes' son
had been kidnapped

by a jealous ex-girlfriend.

Yasmine's father Mr. Halawi

was sick and needed help

to get his printing shop
up and running again.

Dad was there when Kevin
and Dr. Gibson confronted

Paris Petrowski's boyfriend

about his abusive past.

My dad learned a lesson
about himself

while helping the Tallridges.

They wouldn't let their grown
son, Jerry, live his own life.

This guy pretended
to be Andrew Hampton,

who was dying from lung cancer
and hiding out,

refusing to make peace
with his son, Chandler.

And the list goes on and on

forever and ever
for all eternity.

My dad just can't help
helping people,

and now that I think of it,

my mother's right
in there with him.

(laughter)

Mom.

She helped Richard.

He was almost out
of high school,

and couldn't read
until she hooked him up

with a friend of hers.

Lou and the church vestry
were going through a rocky time

when Mom stepped in
to help them through it.

After Judy Calloway's husband
committed suicide,

Mom helped comfort her

and got her
to come to church again.

She helped her friend,
Rachel Grewe,

who was struggling
with a recent divorce.

Mrs. Beeker just seemed
like a nosy neighbor.

Mom figured out she was really
just lonely and wanted

to help out, so we let her.

There was the young married's
counseling group

she did at the church.

Millard was a homeless veteran

that Mom came across
outside the supermarket.

Mom introduced Donovan
to the twins

when he became angry

that his parents
were having another baby.

Robin was an obnoxious

motivational speaker
that Mom dated in high school.

(doorbell ringing)

People came over to our house
for Mom's help, too.

There was Cassandra and Barbara
from birthing class, and Rita,

who had no idea how to talk
to her daughter about sex.

My mom was a teacher at Ruthie's
school for a while, too.

That's where she met Christy,
the student whose parents

just couldn't quit arguing.

But more than any
of these people,

my parents have helped all of us

when we've been in trouble
along the way.

And we've been in trouble.

Lots and lots of trouble.

As PKs, we've hit a few bumps,

and run into some brick walls
along the way.

We've all made our share
of mistakes.

Even the twins.

They helped themselves
to everyone's money

so they could make
a contribution

to fixing the church roof.

And they once stole
this guy's hat,

but they're just four.

Let's go to the oldest.

The first time I can remember

Matt getting
into a lot of trouble,

not counting his brief stint
as a smoker,

was when he wrecked the church's
Meals on Wheels van,

which he had borrowed
for some hot date,

who spilled beer all over him

while he backed
into a police car.

When my dad caught him
sneaking in at 5:00 a.m.,

saying he just fell asleep
at a girl's house,

he got grounded for three weeks.

He once forged Dad's signature

on one of Mary's
detention slips.

(loud crowd chatter)

Everyone has to have a party

when their parents
are out of town.

Matt and Mary took on
that tradition with a vengeance.

Unfortunately,
Happy escaped the premises

and got sideswiped by a car.

(car brakes screeching)

But fortunately recovered.

When Michael Towner
ran over Mary with his car,

Matt punched his lights out.

Another time Matt
and Mary took a joyride,

and ended up with a flat tire,

a speeding ticket
and a very long lecture.

My dad once found a joint
in the house.

Actually, he-he didn't find it.

(barking)
Happy brought it to him.

And Dad thought
it was Matt's, and it was.

A friend had given it to him.

It seems like it shouldn't
have been such a big deal

since it obviously hadn't been
smoked, but you know parents.

He once ran away
to Philadelphia chasing Heather,

only to end up meeting her new
boyfriend when he got there.

Matt had trouble keeping jobs.

He got fired from his
delivery job at the Dairy Shack

after Happy ate
the customers' orders.

When he was pre-med, he almost
failed organic chemistry

because he wouldn't admit
that he needed help.

But all this stuff
is pretty minor.

Matt set the bar pretty high.

He didn't smoke.
He didn't drink.

But if you ask me,

he was keeping his sex life
quiet for a reason,

because, hey, I don't have
any photos, so why bring it up?

I don't know
why I didn't start with her.

Mary's been in far more trouble

than the rest of us
ever dreamed about.

There was the time
she and Camille,

a friend from detention,

went to a frat party.

It turned out to be just

the two of them
and two older guys.

I think that was just before
Mary slipped out of the house

to go to a co-ed sleep-over
that Matt busted her for.

She stole a glass
from the Varsity

that landed Matt in court.

She vandalized the school gym

with her teammates
and got arrested.

Had to do community service
with Robbie Palmer, remember?

She got a job
at the pool hall, decided

she could buy a sports car,
bought one, and then

got fired from the pool hall.
(glass breaking)

Then she went
to work at Pete's Pizza,

where she met Frankie
and Johnny, had a beer,

and then got pulled over,
but left off with a warning

because the cop recognized her.

She may or may not
have tried marijuana.

But she's definitely taken money
from all of us. (coin clinking)

Can you believe
we all helped her

rob the twin's piggy banks?

She also lied.

And cheated, and yet,

you can't help but love her.

Lucy's troubles can mostly
be attributed to the fact

that she's extremely emotional.

She just can't help

letting her emotions
get the best of her.

(blows landing)
There was the cat fight she had with Mary

at Mom and Dad's second wedding.

And the time
she fought Mary over Robbie.

After seeing
Gone With the Wind,

Lucy thought it would be
romantic to slap Jordan.

Her teacher didn't think so.

Mary once gave Lucy a black eye.

But it was an accident.

At least, well,
that's what Mary says.

If Lucy ever gave anyone
a black eye,

it would probably be Roxanne.

Although supposedly,
they're all friends now.

Whatever.

Let's go on to Ruthie.

When she was six,

the two of us decided
to play private investigator,

and tailed the postman,
Mr. Jeffries.

We got lost.

And Sergeant Michaels
ended up bringing us home. (barking)

Then there was the time
we found $50,

and used it
to buy black market ferrets

from some guy
outside a pet shop.

I once hid in my room
to avoid a doctor visit,

claiming that I was locked in.

(touch tones beeping)
Ruthie called 911,

and two nice
police officers showed up.

Then there was the time

Happy got a credit card
in the mail,

and we used it to make
catalogue purchases ourselves.

And the time she tied me
to the banisters. (Ruthie giggling)

Then put her head
through a couple of railings

and got stuck there.

Yeah, I know. My name has often
been linked

with her bad behavior,
but sometimes,

she's done things
all on her own.

Like the time
a camera crew showed up

to tape one
of my dad's church services,

and Ruthie jammed a mint
up her nose

(siren blaring)
in the middle of the sermon,

and had to be rushed
to the hospital.

Ruthie once pulled a boy's hair,
and got sent home from school

because she wanted
to go to the beach with my mom.

She also got grounded

for giving another friend
a haircut at school.

Or the time she conned Matt

into letting her buy makeup
she wasn't supposed to have.

Or the time she surprised
her boyfriend, and Mom,

with how sexy
she could look... at 12.

Mom was pretty upset

when Sam and David started
calling Ruthie Mama.

Mama.

It was only because she had
been bribing them with cookies.

To make my dad feeling needed,
Ruthie lied

and said her friend, Alice Brand
was being abused by her parents.

My mom once put Ruthie
on restriction

after she walked in
on her slow dancing

with Jake Davis
in our living room.

Or the time she and Peter
volunteered to watch Carson,

the rescue dog, but lost him.

She's been in plenty of trouble
on her own.

But then again, so have I.

I took up golf,
and drove a ball

right through
Lou Dalton's windshield.

(glass breaking)

(more glass breaking)

But it took a second window
before I learned my lesson.

I got caught giving the finger
to some kid at school.

I got caught
toilet-papering a house.

A word of advice.

Never commit a crime with
an accomplice who can't run.

Jim and I decided
we needed to do something manly,

so we decided
to get our ears pierced.

Nigel and I did a school project
on teen smoking

that got out of control
when we decided to light up.

I once told Ruthie, the squeaky
wheel gets the grease,

so she started
blowing math tests

to get more attention from Mom.

I got caught shoplifting
and sneaking into the movies,

but I really didn't mean to,
I swear.

It was Luke's idea
to go out with the Murphy twins.

Sometimes I've simply
made bad decisions,

as to who
I should hang out with.

Or who I should drive with.
(siren blaring, helicopter whirring)

Grandpa got me involved
in a low-speed car chase.

But I take full responsibility

for the night I talked Morris
into taking me to a party.

I thought
the punch tasted funny,

but I just kept drinking it.

It went down a lot easier
than it came back up.

It was my last drink forever.

I got busted for running
a high school escort service.

Honestly, I learned my lesson
with that.

(Happy growling)

I can't blame all our troubles
on being preacher's kids,

but come on.

Does it sound as if
we've all had normal friends,

or even halfway normal lives?

Being a PK is not a role
I chose.

It's the one that was given
to me, and frankly,

there are a lot of times
I'd like to give it back.

Like now, for instance.

I just want
to be a regular guy.

Out there trying to find myself,
and making my own mistakes,

that have much more to do
with the fact that I'm 17

than I'm a preacher's kid.

I just want to escape the shadow
of everyone else's expectations,

and start living up to my own.

I may not know who I am yet.

I think I know my strengths
and my weaknesses.

I've had a lot of experience
with badly-behaving children.

And I'm also very good
with money. (baby laughing)

Experienced with badly-behaving
children, and good with money.

So where would the logical place
for me be?

I want a be a producer,

a film producer,
or even a television producer.

Maybe I could even be
like this guy someday.

I assume you're familiar
with his record.

But don't get me wrong.

I'm willing to work at it.

I want to learn everything I can

about acting and-and writing
and-and producing.

And I want to learn it all

at California School
of the Arts.

Although my hometown of Glenoak
has some top-notch schools,

chances are slim

that Crawford University will
start hosting a film festival

at any time in the near future.

I need to get into CSA.

And I can't wait until
next semester or next fall.

I need immediate admittance.

I have a high grade average.

My SAT scores are
in the top ten percent.

And although I haven't graduated
from high school,

my CHPE test scores
should be in your hands

within a few weeks.

I'm hoping that you'll accept me
on a conditional basis

until I've proven myself.

My future is in your hands.

ROBERT EVANS:
Is that it, kid?

That's all you've got to say?

You ought to put a little
more effort into it.

You ought
to give them the reason

you need to get into college
so quickly.

Come on, dig in a little more.

Dig in deeper.

I mean,
this is all very interesting

as a family history,
but where are you?

You want
to make a good picture?

You got to put your heart
and your soul into it.

This picture
isn't done yet, kid.

I killed someone.

Not someone,
his, his name is Paul.

And he was only 13 years old.

I had a lot to deal with.

But now I have this.

I can't deal with it
in the spotlight.

I just can't.

I don't want you to think

that I'm running away
from my problems.

I swear to you, I'm not.

I'd just rather work through
this in a new environment

where people don't know me.

Paul's older brother,
Justin,

is in my class at school.

His parents asked my parents

to have me transferred
to another school,

just in case Justin decides
to do something stupid,

like come after me.

Truthfully, sometimes
I wish he would.

Sometimes, I wish
he'd even kill me,

just because I feel
so guilty about living.

Now, I would never do that.

I would never kill myself.

I'm not the type of guy that
would, that would kill himself.

I'm, I'm just saying I feel
guilty about living,

so don't anyone panic.

It's just that even with all
the help from my parents

and counseling
and the therapy...

I'm in a lot of pain.

And I'm having a hard time
living my life

as if this accident
never happened.

It was an accident.

A car accident.

I was supposed to meet my family
at the pool hall for pizza.

I was on my way
to pick up Cecilia.

The music was on;
the window was down...

I don't know, I thought
I was paying attention.

I wasn't going
over the speed limit

or doing anything dangerous.

But it still happened.

He came out of nowhere.

I slammed on my brakes, but...

It's all a blur.

I can't get the sounds
out of my head.

I get sick just at the sight
of a kid on a bicycle.

My heart starts beating;
my, my palms start sweating.

I try to avoid streets
near parks and schools, but...

I mean, I... I'll learn
how to live with this.

I don't know how,
but it'll happen.

Slowly, over time.

At least that's what people
are telling me,

and I'm, I'm choosing
to trust them.

Because I don't want to stay
in a community

where my dad
is the preacher

and I'm the preacher's son.

If I'm going to get better
slowly over time,

I'd rather it be
somewhere far,

away from here.

Of course,
I'm going to miss my family.

He's only been in New York
a little over a year,

but I still miss him.

Matt's about the best
big brother anyone can have.

He was always there for me,

and he's still there for me,

even though he's away
in medical school.

I still call him on the phone.

No matter how busy he is
or how tired he is,

he still calls me back.

We had an interesting
discussion

about the nature of accidents.

Matt's theory is
that God looks after us

through our own consciousness.

In those moments
when we're not

watching ourselves
going through life,

random acts occur,
accidents occur.

There's no reason for them,
they're just there.

A single, unwatched
moment of life.

And we're not capable
of watching ourselves

every moment,
so accidents happen.

It's a good theory.

It's the first thing that
anyone's said to me after

the accident that made
any sense or allowed me

a moment of not feeling
horrible.

She left only shortly
before Matt did.

But Mary's still there
for me, too.

We haven't had a serious
moment since we all

banded together and had her
kicked out of the house.

It's hard to have
a serious moment with her.

She's so wonderfully...

Oh, what's the word?

I'll go with "carefree."

She doesn't have
a care in the world

even though she can't keep a job
to save her life.

And she's broken
a million hearts,

and she's married a guy

that she hardly knows.

And now she's having a baby.

She's about the happiest
person I know.

And you know why?

She trusts life in every moment
of every day.

Her theory is that if you fall
off the edge of the Earth,

just keep falling.

And eventually,
the universe will embrace you,

and lift you up again.

I understand
why she thinks that.

That's been her experience.

I couldn't get Lucy
out of my life if I wanted to.

She loves me.

She'll be the sister who writes
me at school, sends me

brownies and tells me everything
that's going on in the house.

Even the stuff
that I don't want to know.

Lucy really does care about me
and everyone

in our family.

And she would do
anything for us,

as well as anything
for anyone in need.

Despite the fact that her head
doesn't always seem to be

screwed on tight and she's often
completely irrational.

Her craziness is really
all about her passion

for life and the people
in her life.

While at first glance,
she may seem like

just an ordinary person,

she extraordinarily touching
and funny.

She was the first one
to say out loud

that she was angry with Paul.

And that allowed me to be angry.

And the way Lucy explained it,
sometimes anger just gets

your mood up
so you can move on.

She helped me take me
take my first little step.

I love these guys.

And because they're too young
to realize what happened

this summer and the impact
it's had on my life,

I've relied on them
as an escape

from my circumstances
and depression.

They're a constant reminder
that life goes on.

And we have to do our best,
because those we love

are coming along in this world,

and in this house
behind us.

I can't tell you the number
of times I've felt overwhelmed

by sadness or anger
this past summer,

only to have the two of them
do something silly,

or say something funny
and bring me back to the reality

of how lucky I am to be alive
and be in this family.

I'd feel bad about missing
the opportunity

to help look after them
over the next few years.

But I know I'm leaving them
with someone

who's going to protect them,
and teach them,

and share the miseries
and joy of being a PK.

She's going to be the hardest
to leave, and the hardest

to hang on to, because
she's Ruthie and she's 13,

and she's got a boyfriend.

And while she understands
that I want to leave

the rest of the family,

she doesn't understand
how I could leave her.

But I don't think
she'll hold it against me.

She won't have the time
to hold it against me.

She's emerging from childhood
to adulthood,

full speed ahead
with thoughtful intelligence,

a great sense of humor
and a high self-esteem.

I'd like to think
that I had something to do

with how great
she's turned out so far,

and I hope to remain a positive
influence in her life.

But here's the thing:
I know she feels my pain.

We're that close.

And as hard as it is,

I really do think it's best

to put a little distance
between us right now.

Because I would
never forgive myself

if I put any rain
on Ruthie's parade.

And truthfully,

I know she'll be
just fine without me.

And that brings me to them.

My parents, my mom and dad.

They both think I'm too young
to go away to school.

Yet, in their heart of hearts,

they know I'm ready.

As the saying goes,

"They raised me right."

They're not sending
a boy into the world,

they're sending a man.

This might be happening
a year earlier

than they planned,
but I grew up this summer.

I had to.

And I'm man enough
to work through the tragedy

of an accident that
took that life of a boy

who was reckless with his life.

You see, Paul was only 13,

but he was already
into drugs.

And he was high
that night he came

speeding down the hill
on his bicycle,

the wind in his hair and without
a helmet on his head.

His older brother, Justin,
wanted to blame me.

Now, he's having
to wrestle his own demons

because Justin smokes pot.

The parents want
to blame themselves.

They think that they did
something wrong.

That they didn't
try hard enough.

That they didn't parent
well enough.

And I want to blame myself.

Because, after all,
I was the one driving the car.

But all that blaming
isn't going to change anything.

It isn't going to help anything.

He may have been only 13,

but Paul was responsible
for getting high.

Sure, his brother
may have set a bad example,

maybe even gave him the pot.

But he didn't make him smoke.

He didn't make him
ride his bike.

And he didn't tell him
not to wear a helmet.

The parents made
their best efforts with Paul.

I really believe that.

Because now they're making
their best efforts with Justin.

And they're doing that

by asking me not to be
at school with him.

I'm ready to go,

because my mom and dad prepared
me from day one of my life.

They taught me all the basics:

be polite, be considerate,

treat others as you would
want to be treated,

love one another.

More specifically,
say "please" and "thank you."

Say "good morning"
and "good night."

Tell people you love
that you love them.

If you don't have
anything nice to say,

say nothing at all.

Take a shower every day.

Clean up after yourself.

Wash your face and hands
before dinner.

Be on time.

Eat your vegetables.

Wear your helmet.

Don't do drugs.

Don't drink and drive.

And then, there are the more
esoteric teachings, like:

everyone is doing
the best they can

for who they are at the time.

My parents have always
been there for me,

through all the rough times.

Through all my mistakes.

Every time I missed the mark,

they have been relentless
in their insistence

that I must always try to do
the right thing,

and when I don't,
apologize,

make amends and move on.

They taught me
about the love of a family.

And maybe even
more importantly,

they taught me
about respect.

They have taught us all
to respect them,

to respect each other,

to respect other people
and to respect life itself.

Their goodness and their faith
and their kindness

comes from their beliefs.

And while I struggle to resist
being who they are

and question
what they believe,

I am the son of a preacher man.

And when I leave this house,
I will have the strength

and the courage
to do the right thing

no matter what
the circumstances are,

or the challenges
I'm faced with.

Because this is the family
I come from.

And these are the two people
who brought me here.

And someday,
I will have what they have.

Because as I promised
my father in church,

I will finish high school.

I will finish college
and get my degree.

I'll start my career.

I will marry someone I love
and respect.

And we will raise our children
to be responsible,

and to make a contribution
to this world.

And I will do those things
in that order.

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