All language subtitles for 7th Heaven s07e02 Monkey Business Deux.eng

Sooner or later, like it or not,

she's gonna have to have
that conversation

with Dad about Captain Smith.

- That guy gives me the creeps.
- Me too.

Then why don't you say something
about it to her?

Mom doesn't want anyone
to say anything.

You don't always do
what Mom tells you.

I try. I do.

Mom told you to quit
stringing Kevin along,

and tell him you'll marry him.

Kevin hasn't asked me.

And who knows, maybe he'll marry
his new partner, Roxanne.

Yeah, maybe.
But he would marry you.

We all know he would
if he thought you'd say yes.

You're not saying anything
to Mary either,

so why are you on my case?

Said something last week
before we got the order.

- Well?
- It didn't do any good.

- Yeah, I struck out too.
- I thought you didn't say anything?

- I didn't mean to, it just slipped out.
- So you just lied to me?

I felt guilty.
We weren't supposed to say anything.

Is this the way a woman who wants
to be a minister should behave?

- No. Happy?
- Yeah.

So you think anyone can stop Mary
from seeing this guy?

It's not likely.

[WATER SPLASHING]

ROBBIE:
Ooh...

[SHUDDERS]

[SHUDDERING]

I hope you left me some hot water.

I didn't have any hot water
to begin with.

Why do you think I'm
dressed like this? I'm freezing.

How can we not have not water?

Because others were up
and showered before me.

Others who use mass quantities
of hot water.

Mary.

What time is she getting up now,
4 a.m.?

Who knows, but she's gonna have
to talk to Reverend Camden.

Did you talk to her?

No one is supposed to talk to her,
Mrs. Camden said so.

That's not what I asked.

I could ask you the same thing.
Did you talk to her?

- Yeah, I couldn't help myself.
- Neither could I.

- Did you get through to her?
- No.

I didn't either. Heh-heh-heh.

[WHISPERS]
Shh, don't wake up Mom.

Daddy said let her sleep.

ERIC:
Good morning.

I was just having coffee

and I saw you slink out the front door
and up the driveway.

- How is it?
- It's the best coffee I've had all week.

Because I'm having it with you,
my daughter,

who I haven't been able to
catch up with in seven whole days.

Well, if you care
about spending time with me,

maybe you shouldn't have told Ben
that I'm dating Jack.

Maybe I shouldn't have told Ben

you're dating someone
20 years older than yourself

as a way of getting back at Ben
when he's done absolutely nothing?

- He's in love with his old girlfriend.
- No, he's not.

He's just talking to her.
He knew her for years.

Come on, Ben's a great guy
and he really cares about you.

And you really care about him.

Cared. I cared about him.

And now I've met someone else.
Someone I care about more than Ben.

I really have to go now.
Uh, I'm late. Have a nice day.

You usually have pretty good judgement
when it comes to men.

I still have pretty good judgement
when it comes to men,

even when the man
is 20 years older than me.

Trust me.

I'd sure like to trust you,
and yet, hmm...

Remember when you just met Robbie?
You didn't like him either.

And now he's living in your house
and you treat him like he's your son.

Yeah, well, that could be a problem
with this new guy

since, you know, he's too old
to be my son.

Dad, I am a grown woman.

I am only staying here
because the company asked me

to change my schedule
for a couple of weeks.

If the man that I date
makes you uncomfortable,

I will stay somewhere else.

You won't have to see me.
I won't have to talk to you.

Are you giving me an ultimatum?

Like if I say something
about your dating a man my age

what, you're just gonna take off?

Did you think I would just sit around
and say nothing?

Do I ever just sit around
and say nothing

when you're doing something

that I don't understand?

You were gonna say

- doing something stupid, weren't you?
- Yes, I was.

Well, what is so stupid about it?
Jack's a great guy.

Don't ask me to choose
between my family and Jack.

You can't be serious.

You'd consider leaving your family

in order to be with this cradle-robbing
lowlife sky jockey

who's got a daughter your age?

I really have to go now.
Would you please get out of my car?

I'm sorry. No, I shouldn't have
called him names.

And it's not him, okay? It's Jack.

And if you're gonna call people names,
you should get better at it.

I really have to go. There's no point
in talking about this any longer.

No point? No, there's a point.
No, there...

The point is that everyone in this family
thinks that you should stop going out

with a man who's old enough
to be your father.

It's not a healthy relationship
and you're just doing it to get to Ben.

But instead, you're getting to me
and to your mother

and to everyone else
who cares about you.

We all think it's...

Stupid?

[ENGINE REVS]

- Would you please get out my car?
- Fine.

Go ahead
and do whatever you think is--

[TYRES SQUEAL]

I hope that every time
you even think of kissing him

you think about kissing your father.

And for anyone who's listening,
that came out completely wrong.

[SIGHS]

What would you like
for breakfast today?

- Cookies.
- Ice cream.

[ANNIE GIGGLES]

How about oatmeal?

[IN UNISON]
No.

Oatmeal with brown sugar
and raisins?

[IN UNISON]
No, thank you.

Oatmeal really does make you
very big, strong, and healthy.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[ERIC SIGHS]

The trash, I forgot to put
the trash cans out last night.

- Oh, so you just put them out?
- Yes.

Today's not trash day.

Um, one of the neighbours mentioned
that, so I brought them back in.

So you put them out
and then you brought them back in?

- Yeah.
- Oh, I didn't hear anything.

Well, I'm very quiet.

And you found a way
to keep the trash cans quiet too?

I have a busy day ahead of me

with hospital visits
and counselling sessions.

- Who's in the hospital?
- Um, the hospitalized.

And that would be?

It's a big church, um,

a lot of people have surgeries,
procedures, things.

You weren't trying to catch up
with Mary again, were you?

- And the plan we agreed upon was...?
- It was no plan at all.

It was do nothing, say nothing,
just pretend we don't care.

Oh, not pretend we don't care,

pretend that we trust
Mary's decisions about men.

That's entirely different.

She's dating a man
old enough to be her father.

If we don't want her to marry a man
old enough to be her father,

we must say nothing.

- Oh, Eric, you talked to her.
- I had to.

He had to.

He had to say something.

- How did it go?
- Pretty well.

Not that bad.

I may have even gotten through
to her.

[ANNIE SIGHS]

I hate to say this,

[WHISPERS]
but you're a really bad liar.

[WHISPERS]
So is everyone else in this family.

SIMON: What?
- New shirt?

Yeah, it's a new shirt.

You seem to be spending
some money lately.

- A little.
- On clothes.

Yeah.

- Because?
- Because I wanna look nice.

You can't fool me.

What's that supposed to mean?

You've got money.
Not just birthday money, real money.

I've always had money.
I'm the bank of Simon, remember?

Oh, I remember.

And I remember how much you hate
to part with a buck.

- So something's going on.
- There is nothing going on.

You've made up some lame excuse

to be out of the house
almost every night for a week.

You've got cash.
You've got new clothes.

Women are unexplainably attracted
to you.

Oh, gee, let me see,
could you be Spider-Man?

If you need my help, let me know.

Because sooner or later, I suspect
you'll land headfirst on a brick wall.

She's onto you.

She's not onto me.

She's right, you're gonna run
facefirst into a brick wall.

Calm down, will you?

How many women
are you doing business with?

Mostly just one repeat customer.

- You mean Cecilia?
- I don't mean Cecilia. Someone else.

So it's just Cecilia
and this one someone else?

Yes.

Next weekend I have to go to a party
with a cheerleader

whose parents made her
break up with her boyfriend.

I've a wedding reception
with one of the majorettes. About it.

- About?
- Word's getting around.

It's a good business.
I'm perfect for it.

I'm polite, I can have a conversation
with the parents,

I'm a good dancer,
a good bowler, a good date.

Simon. You're not just a date,
you're an escort.

You're running an escort service.
You can't do that.

- Why not? It's not illegal.
- It's immoral.

It's not.
It's practically a public service.

- Ha. How's that?
- These women need me.

It's less humiliating to pay me
to go out with them

then to go to stuff alone
or ask a guy out and get turned down.

Why can't you just go out with them
because they need you to?

SIMON:
I really have no interest in these girls,

therefore being with them
is a job.

Why shouldn't I get paid?

ROBBIE [STAMMERING]:
Because you're like one of those...

SIMON: I'm not selling sex.
ROBBIE: You're one step away from it.

Morning, Ruthie!

[DOOR OPENS]

- What did you hear?
- Nothing, just "Morning, Ruthie."

Does anyone ever think of checking
to see if Ruthie's outside the door

- before they begin a conversation?
- Fortunately not.

- I'd like a word with Robbie.
- I'm talking to Simon.

- Why are you still here?
- You're my ride to school.

I didn't get the day off,

I'm just on a short break
so I'll make this quick.

I think you should move
to the garage.

- With you?
- No, not with me. I'll take this room.

RUTHIE:
What is it about my old room?

Is it the fact that I lived there so long
by myself?

Is it the Hello Kitty theme? What?

I don't want to move to the garage.

He never wanted to move
to the garage,

and he's had plenty of chances.

I wanna be closer to Lucy.

And you'd like him
to be away from Lucy.

Would you kindly take her
to school now?

Or do I have to arrest
the two of you for truancy?

Actually, I have a class too.

- We'll talk tonight.
ROBBIE: I'll look forward to it.

Eric, were you out in the street
in your pyjamas this morning?

And did--? Did you and Mary speed off
down the street?

And did you say something
about kissing her?

Yes. Yes.
And absolutely not exactly.

I was in my pyjamas
and we did speed down the street.

And why do you want to know?

I get calls.
I have to answer these calls.

While you and I may think
that it's really nobody's business

what the minister of a church does
in his own home with his family,

the parishioners still want to know.

What do they wanna know?

Today, they want to know
why the children

are allowed to do things
that reflect badly on the church.

My children?

My children reflect badly?

Matt is in medical school.
And he's married.

And in medical school.
And I said married, didn't I?

Everyone pretty much considers
Matt to be a grown man

who is married, out of your home
and into medical school.

Oh, so you meant Mary?
Mary's working.

You know, she's an airline attendant
and she's doing quite well with that.

She has been seen around town
with an older gentleman.

No, he's not an older gentleman.
He's an airline pilot.

They both work for the airlines.
Not the same airline, of course.

Mary and her pilot have been seen
around town, together, a lot,

and they seem quite close.

Well, maybe
when they go around town,

she has to hold onto him
to help him walk.

And that might be misinterpreted
as their being quite close,

when in fact, she's just helping
an old man across the street.

- What?
- I feel for your children. Really, I do.

It's difficult being in the spotlight
all the time because of your job here.

But they are in the spotlight.

It is difficult, for them, heh,
and for me.

Uh, is Lucy living in the garage
apartment with her fianc??

Kevin is living
in the garage apartment alone,

not with Lucy,
and they're not engaged.

It's just that the garage is considered
to be part of the parsonage

and some of the parishioners
might object

if there was cohabitation
on church property.

Lucy and Kevin
are not living together.

And don't forget that Annie and I paid
to have the garage apartment built

and we can use it any way
we please.

Point taken. Point taken, ha, ha.

- How's Simon?
- What's wrong with Simon?

- Nothing I know of.
- And Ruthie?

- She has a new friend?
- That's right.

A friend. Not a boyfriend.

Well, I was referring
to the chimpanzee she's adopted.

She didn't adopt a chimpanzee.

Eisenhower lives across the street
and she was just chimpsitting.

And that was just for one day
until the chimp got a girlfriend.

Eisenhower.

And what about the twins?

David and Sam reflecting badly
on the church?

Oh, ha. Of course not.

- Annie and me?
- Oh, no, no. Everybody loves Annie.

And me?

[SIGHS]

Eric, you were outside
in your pyjamas.

- Yeah.
- You and Mary sped off

down the street in her car, together.

She kicked you out of the car.

You yelled something crazy at her.

And this was at 6 in the morning.

Now, where other people
may be worried about your children,

quite frankly, I'm a little concerned
about you.

- Are you okay?
- I really have to run.

I just stopped by to pick up an address
I left on my desk.

I have someone to visit.

I'm so sorry to bother you with gossip
when you have important things to do.

It's just that like I said,
I am the one who gets these calls.

Did you say you hadn't heard anything
about Simon?

That's what I said.

Yeah...

CECILIA:
So maybe we could go out again.

- I'm kind of booked.
- Yeah, I heard.

You went out with Claire Cleavage
every night this week?

I'm not going out with her
for her cleavage

and it's not very nice of you
to call her that.

We went to the library, it was more
a bus service than a dating service.

So she paid you to take her out
every night you went out?

- Yes, why?
- I don't know.

She has kind of a bad reputation.

I don't care about that.
She's just like any other customer.

She had money, she needed me to go
out with her for some reason. Wait.

Did your boyfriend go out with Claire?
Is that what this is all about?

Even he wouldn't go out with Claire.
And besides, I broke up with him.

Sorry to hear that. I don't give refunds
if that's what you're looking for.

I wasn't looking for a refund.

- I just want to go out again.
- I'm booked up for the next ten days.

I might be able to work you in
not next weekend,

but the weekend after.

I wasn't offering to pay you
to take me out.

I'm not interested
in your dating service.

I was just suggesting
that we go out together sometime,

on a real date.

Had a really nice time with you
until my boyfriend showed up.

I'm not sure if it would be ethical

to date someone
I've done business with.

It's just that I gotta keep my business
life separate from my personal life.

It would feel kind of funny
dating someone

who's paid me to go out before.

It just doesn't seem right.

You wanna know
what doesn't seem right?

You don't seem right.

You really should drop
this whole dating service

before you get into real trouble.

And stay away from Claire.

MAN:
Excuse me.

SMITH:
Reverend Camden?

Captain Smith.

- May I assume this is about Mary?
- Yes, you may.

[CHUCKLES]

I can't say I wasn't expecting you.

Why would you rather be in the house
than the garage apartment?

It has nothing to do with Lucy.

I like being in the house
with the family.

It makes me feel like part of the family,
I like that.

But you're not part of the family.
If you wanted to be part of the family

you wouldn't have dated
what would be your sister Lucy.

- Just move into the garage apartment.
ROBBIE: No.

I'll take the garage apartment
and you can have my bedroom.

You'll be in between
Robbie and Lucy.

- I don't think that's a good idea.
- I think we should ask Mom.

She's not your mom.

When Lucy and I get married,
she will be my mom.

- She'll be your mom-in-law.
- Mom.

Mom, mom-in-law,
whatever you go with is fine.

Can I have garage apartment
if I get approval?

Yes.

[ROBBIE SCOFFS]

That kid does not need to have his
own apartment right now, believe me.

You think you know everything.

But I know Simon
better than you know Simon.

I don't think you give a rat's ricky
if Simon has his own apartment.

I think you still have feelings
for Lucy.

Do you want to know the truth?
I never had feelings for Lucy.

At least not the feelings
you're accusing me of.

I was never in love with her.
I was in love with Mary.

Mary?

You do know I dated Mary for years,
right?

We almost had...

We almost moved in with...

We were thinking
about getting married at one time.

- You're lying.
- No, I'm not.

You didn't know I dated Mary?

I met Mary when we were both doing
community service.

[LAUGHS]

We were both crazy about each other,
but I blew it.

And then Mary moved to Buffalo
and then my family split up

and I found myself homeless.

And even though
the Camdens never liked me,

I ended up here.

So this is where I'm gonna stay.
In this room, in this house.

How do you feel about Mary now?

I don't know.
Maybe I'm on the rebound, but...

- But?
- What's the point?

I think the point is
you still have feelings for her.

So maybe you ought to do something
about those feelings.

- Like what?
- Like tell her how you feel about her.

You called your brother to move here
so he and Mary'd get together.

Yeah, but I knew
he wouldn't take my advice.

You should do it. Talk to her.

Let her know how you feel about her.
Maybe it's not too late.

And maybe it is.
Maybe you know that.

You're saying this to make sure
I never go around Lucy again.

What if I am?
The end result is the same.

- You end up with Mary.
- Aren't you forgetting something?

Aren't you forgetting
about Mary's new boyfriend?

We all know Mary's not in love
with the pilot.

So are you in love with her or not?

[SCOFFS]

I can't even say it out loud.

The only person
who needs to hear it is Mary.

Say it to her.

Out loud, as soon as possible.

There's more?

The other night, when I was talking
to Mary about dumping this pilot...

Mom said none of us should do that.

I know, but I did
and my guess is so did everyone else.

Anyway,

I told Mary that her pilot hit on
Roxanne at the pool hall last week.

And she said to me, she said,

"Oh, yeah? Well, did you know
Lucy and Robbie had a little sleepover

in his room last year?"

Is that true? Did Lucy ever spend
the night in this room with you?

Is that what trading my room
for your apartment is about?

I take that as a yes.

SIMON:
Why not? I'm 16.

Lots of 16-year-olds
have their own apartments.

In what world?

In what world do lots of 16-year-olds
have their own apartments, Simon?

In what world?

All right, that may be
slightly inaccurate.

That doesn't mean I shouldn't have
my own apartment.

No, but there are so many
other reasons.

- Like what?
ANNIE: Well, for one,

I'm fine with the arrangement
that we currently have.

- But Kevin isn't.
- I find that hard to believe.

- It's true.
- I'm not saying it's not true,

I'm just saying
I have a hard time believing

that Kevin would wanna give up
his privacy

and live in the house with everyone.

But if he does want to,

couldn't you at least just consider
letting me have the garage apartment?

Why would you need
your own apartment?

He doesn't.

- You won't even consider it?
- I considered it, Simon.

I've listened to what you have to say.
And I really don't think it's a good idea.

When's Dad gonna be home?

I have a feeling it'll be late,

and I have a bad feeling
as to why he'll be late.

But whatever the time is,
the answer is still no.

You're 16, you're not moving
into the garage apartment.

You let Mary date a pilot
as old as dad

and I can't even have
my own apartment?

That's really lame, Simon.

So where was I?

Oh, yeah, why would you need
an apartment of your own?

And question two,

do you need it as an office
for whatever business you're running?

And question three,

can a guy under age 18
get arrested for soliciting?

- You don't know what that means.
- Yes, I do.

I asked Kevin what it's called

when one person pays money
to another person to go out with them,

and he said soliciting.

Women are actually paying you money
to go out with them?

That's where you are every night?

- How do you know that?
- Deductive reasoning.

[SIMON SIGHS]

It's nothing bad,

it's just that
when a woman at my school

needs a date because she's broken up
with her boyfriend

or she wants to make her
boyfriend jealous,

or she has a special function,

like a wedding to go to
and she doesn't wanna go by herself,

- then I just help her out.
- For money?

Well, yeah.

It doesn't matter how nice you try
and make it sound, it's still wrong.

And I think you'd
better stop doing that.

And I think if you don't, something bad
is going to happen to you.

I think
that's some pretty good advice.

Let me handle this, will you?

And remember,
no one likes a stool pigeon.

You're amazing.
You have no fear of me whatsoever.

I admire that. Sort of.

Upstairs. All the way upstairs.

And if I ever catch you listening in
on one of my conversations,

I'm not gonna let you off
with just a warning.

Is that a threat?

Man, give a guy a uniform and a gun,
and they think they rule the world.

- I'm not doing anything illegal, really.
- No excuses, Simon.

You know whatever you're doing
isn't right, so stop.

- I don't have to do what you tell me.
- You don't have to do what I tell you

or what Robbie tells you
or what Ruthie tells you

or what your parents tell you.

You should consider that sometimes
when people who love you

tell you to stop doing something,
they're telling you for your own good.

You gonna tell my parents?

I don't like presenting a case
when I don't have all the facts.

In this case,
I don't want all the facts.

Besides, like I said before,
no one likes a stool pigeon.

Robbie said that you said
that Mary told you

that Robbie and I slept together.

Bye.

So are you angry with me
because I said something to Robbie,

or are you angry at Mary
because she said something to me?

I don't know
why she said something to you,

I don't know
why you said something to Robbie,

especially without saying something
to me first.

I'm still angry about your new partner.
Is she still around?

Yes, and I'm sorry.

Is there a rule that I have to discuss
everything with you

that I'm gonna discuss with Robbie?
Because I didn't know that was a rule.

And now that I do,
I'm not agreeing to it.

You don't have to agree to it,
because it's still a rule.

Let's see how that works out.

- Let's see how what works out?
- This.

LUCY:
Wait. You can't--

[SIGHS]

- You can't.
- I can't what?

You can't just do that
every time I try to talk to you

- about something serious.
- Why not?

- Because.
- Ha, ha, because why?

Because it's a rule. And I don't care
if you agree to it or not.

- And change partners.
- Man, I love that woman.

Hi, Reverend Camden.

I wasn't sure if I was supposed
to use the back door or the front door.

I'm having the same problem.

I was-- I was at the front,
then I came around here to the back.

- Is Simon home?
- I think they're all home.

Except Mary, of course.

That's something, huh?
Her dating an old guy like you?

Hmm, yeah, that's something.

It's kind of late to be calling on Simon.
Everything okay?

Not really.

Did you ever do something
you know you shouldn't

and everyone told you not to,
but you just did it anyway?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have done that.
I just did that today.

What did you do?

I probably shouldn't say anything
to you. I should just talk to Simon.

Then again,
I already tried talking to Simon.

And I have a feeling
that didn't do any good.

Simon!

Kitchen! Now!

- What is going on?
- I think I'm wanted in the kitchen.

[HAPPY BARKS
THEN WHIMPERS]

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine...

Did you take money from Cecilia
to take her out last weekend?

- She offered to pay me.
- I don't think I should be here.

Cecilia ratted out Simon.

The question is,
did she rat him out about

their date or about
all his other dates?

- I'm sorry, what are we talking about?
- Didn't you know?

How would I know?
I never know anything.

I'm always left out of everything.
It's been that way all my life.

Simon has a dating service.
Girls pay him to take them out.

- Since when?
- It started with Cecilia

and then business
just seemed to take off.

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Because no one likes a stool pigeon,
at least that's what Kevin says.

So you actually told them
not to tell me?

Okay, Ruthie, it's you and me.

I never actually thought I'd say this,

but why don't the two of you go up
to the attic together, alone,

while I have a little chat with Ruthie.

I'll talk to her.

I'll talk to her.

- Maybe Robbie should talk to me.
- Sorry, this is between you and Kevin.

Why do you make it seem
as if you did what I told you to do,

when, in fact, you did exactly
what I told you not to do?

I did what you told me.

I didn't say anything about Simon,
not to anyone.

- I speak the truth.
- No, you speak the half-truth.

When I said
no one likes a stool pigeon,

you know that I meant in general.

And then you ratted me out with your
sister just to get me in trouble.

Don't you think I have
enough problems with Lucy?

What kind of problems?

- Apologise to me first.
- I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have made you look bad,
especially in front of my sister Lucy.

- Is it sex? Your problem with Lucy?
- No, it is not sex.

I don't think it's cute to ask me that
because it's completely inappropriate.

Yeah, I'm in some sort of weird
transitional phase

that's throwing me off.

Heh. It's called growing up.

- You think I'm growing up?
- I think you have to.

But thanks for the apology.

The problem is is that
I'm madly in love with your sister.

- I apologised for that?
- That's the problem.

- I'm serious.
- You are, aren't you?

I'm sorry, I didn't think it was so bad.
But I do now. I do.

So I'm going to apologise to Cecilia,

and then I'm going to give her
her money back.

And then I'm gonna apologise
to the others

and I'm going to give them
their money back.

The others?

[CHUCKLES]

Cecilia didn't mention that...?

So is there anything else
I don't know that I should know?

I don't know if it would be
of any interest to you,

but I was telling Kevin earlier
that I'm still in love with Mary.

What?

I know it sounds crazy,
but I was thinking about telling Mary.

- What?
- You can't tell me she loves that pilot.

She's in love with Ben, and the reason
she's going out with that pilot

is because she wants to do something
dramatically equivalent

of Ben's old girlfriend moving back
from London to Buffalo

- to try to get him back.
- No, Mary's not in love with Ben.

Why else do you think
she's dating this Jack guy?

Because she's not in love with Ben.

So now seems like a good time
to make my move.

It's not a good time. Take my word
for it, it's not. The timing is all wrong.

Yours and Mary's timing
has always been wrong.

- Yeah, but...
- But don't. Just don't.

I'm going to go check
on Kevin and Ruthie.

[LINE RINGING]

MARY [ON MACHINE]: It's Mary.
If you don't have any advice for me,

leave a message
and I'll return your call.

Hey, Mary, this is, uh, Robbie, um--

I was thinking maybe we should talk,

and not about this pilot
you've been seeing.

We should talk about us.

Remember when you kept trying
to get me back last year?

[MACHINE BEEPS]

So everyone in the family knew
except Lucy,

and everyone told you to stop
but you just kept on making dates?

You thought Cecilia and Robbie
and Kevin and Ruthie

were all giving you bad advice?

I-- You don't think
enough of any one of them

to even consider
that they might be trying to help you

avoid doing something
that would get you in trouble?

I'm not the only one who is like that,
I'm not the only one who doesn't listen.

Everyone's guilty of that
at some time or other.

I know, but you're the one
I'm talking with at the moment.

That was terrible advice.
How could you do that?

Because I think Robbie
really does have a shot.

[SIGHS]

Ben's tired of trying
to convince Mary

that he doesn't wanna go back
with his old girlfriend.

And he's really put off by the fact
that Mary's dating this old guy.

I offered to pay for him
to come out here last week

and confront her,
but he wouldn't do it.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

It's late, I'll get it.

I forgot I left Cecilia
on the back porch.

Maybe she went around to the front.

Still on the back porch.
Someone else is at the front.

You talk to Cecilia
and the three of us will talk later,

and then again tomorrow,
and the next day,

and the day after that.

- What are you doing here?
- You told me to come here.

But you never listen to me.

Ben, it's so good to see you.

Heh, you have no idea
how much we miss you.

Come on in.

Is, uh, Mary home?

Well, she's flying today,
but she will be home later, I hope.

[CHUCKLES]

I, uh...

I--

[SIGHS]

I don't think she's coming home.

But I told the chief
I wanted to transfer.

He met Mary when she went through
training. He'll understand.

- I shipped all my things.
- Ground or two-day?

What difference does that make,
ground or two-day?

- Which is it?
- It's ground, there's a lot of stuff.

I thought I was gonna move here.

So your stuff will be here in a week
and then if nothing's changed,

we'll put your things in my car
and drive back to Buffalo.

You're gonna drive me all the way back
to Buffalo and then drive back here?

To tell you the truth, I don't know
what I'm doing here either.

I'm madly in love with Lucy
and she's not madly in love with me.

Maybe I never should have moved
here either.

Then again, if I hadn't,
I'd have regretted it

and I don't want any regrets.

I really thought she was ready
for a serious relationship.

- You want some advice?
- Yeah,

but try to tell me only
what I wanna hear.

Don't give up so easily.

It may be too late for me,
but Lucy's right upstairs.

Are you sure you don't wanna go
down to the kitchen,

overhear something that might be
of vital importance to me?

I'm never going to intentionally listen in
on one of Kevin's conversations.

- Never?
- I was warned. Never again.

And he's a pretty serious dude.
But I like that.

And I like that he takes me seriously.
He treats me like a grown-up.

I wish he'd treat me like a grown-up.

Well, that may require
your acting like a grown-up.

I know you're dying to know,
so I'll just tell you.

That's what Kevin was talking to me
about. About growing up.

Becoming an honest person
who's responsible for my actions

as well as my choice of words.

He said that
while it's always fun to be a kid,

it's also fun to be a grown-up.

What else did he say?

He said that one of the ways
we know when we're grown up,

is when we show other people
consideration.

Ben is dying for you to come down
to the kitchen and say hello.

I think that would be the considerate
thing to do.

I wanna talk to you about
all these rules you mentioned earlier.

I'm sorry for just laughing you off.

[SCOFFS]

- I think you kissed me off.
- Ha, ha, either way, I apologise.

I really want this relationship
to work out.

I do too.

And that's why I've been so crazy
or one of the reasons.

And the other one being
you are crazy?

I've already been engaged once.

And the whole thing
turned into a big mess

and I felt humiliated
when it didn't work out.

And I don't wanna feel humiliated
ever again.

We said
we were gonna take this slowly

and I know I begged you
to move here,

but once you did, I realised
now people expect us to get married

- and I just don't know if--
- Then I'll wait till you do know.

And if it turns out
that for whatever reason

I'm not the right guy for you, Lucy,

I know that neither of us
would ever put the other

in a situation to be humiliated.

Well, it would be humiliating if you fell
in love with your new partner, Roxanne.

It would be very humiliating.

First of all, she's not even my type.

Secondly, I'd never date a cop.

And thirdly, I don't want any woman
other than you.

I love you.

[LAUGHS]

I love you too.

I'd kiss you off again,
but you're all snotty now.

[CHUCKLES]

When did she get transferred
to Fort Lauderdale?

Just this week.

She saw they had an opening

and Fort Lauderdale
is nowhere near us

or any other family members
or Ben or his girlfriend.

And as Jack explained it,

they thought it would be better
for them, the two of them.

He's based in Fort Lauderdale.

He keeps an apartment here
because his dad lives here.

I asked you
not to say anything to her.

I asked everybody
not to say anything to her.

[SIGHS]

Because I was the first person
to say something to her.

And I knew if she wouldn't listen
to her own mother

she wouldn't listen
to any of the rest of you.

- I feel so much better.
- Why?

Because now we're all in this together.
It's no one's fault.

It's not your fault. It's not my fault.

- It's no one's fault but Mary's.
- And Jack's.

Couldn't you just let me feel better?

[BOTH SIGH]

I just thought
she was going to marry Ben.

You just hoped. I hoped.
We all hoped.

- I say we keep hoping.
- And praying.

So did you bring me anything
from New York?

Don't I always bring you something
when I come here?

You really don't have to.

I think you've made it clear
in the past that I do.

Perfume?

I heard you're interested in some guy.
Guys like perfume, take my word for it.

You airported me.

You forgot the gift,
so you picked this up at the airport.

Yeah, I did,
but still, it's nice perfume.

And I am interested in a boy.

Not enough to pay him to see me,
but I am interested.

So should we talk
about your boyfriend first

or this mess Simon got into?

Simon's a lot more interesting,
believe me.

Now that I've apologised
and given you your money back,

you wanna know how I really feel?
Because I'm gonna tell you.

I'm angry.

I don't think you understand
the consequences of your actions.

I'm never gonna have
car privileges again,

which means I'll never be able to take
you or anyone else out again.

So while I'm sure you meant well
by telling my dad what was going on,

now there's no chance
of the two of us ever getting together

if that's what you wanted.

So I don't really care how you justify it.
You didn't have to tell my dad.

You could have made me listen to you
if you would have just kept trying.

Maybe if I would have paid you
to listen.

Well, here's 5 bucks, Simon.

The word out on the street
is that one of your dates is pregnant.

And I think she's only been paying you
to take her out,

so that when her parents find out,
they'll think the baby is yours.

Now who doesn't understand
the consequences of his actions?

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