Original subtitles

Previously on Shining Vale...

When your mom and I saw it, we fell in love with it.

It's 100 miles away from all the crazy in the city.

How many fucking possessed women do you get in here?

Rosemary, get the fuck out of my house.

This is for you, Patricia.

The neighbor killed herself on our fence.

I want to throw a party.

We can invite all of our new friends.

- I'm Claire Vanderbilt. - This is Laird.

I'm so sorry I peed your floor. Please have me back.

You are the worst therapist ever!

Gaynor, tell them I'm not crazy!

The electric shock treatment.

You zapped Rosemary right out of me.

Jake and I don't need you and Dad doesn't remember you.

I don't play VR anymore.

You still scared of that girl?

What game? I'm Daisy.

I'm gonna be the best wife and mother.

That's what you'll talk about on the book tour.

What, you already published it?

How do I know you're not gonna go batshit again?

Because I am in control.

I am in...

Hello, dear. So good to see you.

Fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Gaynor, can I talk to you just for a sec?

What's the matter... why are you breathing like Roxy?

Because I need to go to...

Need to go where, Pat?

Get ice cream.

- Yes! - Road trip!

Let's do it.

- Hi. I have a return. - It's not a return.

I just need a quick outpatient shock treatment.

Uh, sorry. We don't do that.

Gaynor, why don't you go find your dad and brother?

Mommy's gonna talk to the nurse for just a second.

Mm, maybe Mommy could've driven herself to the mental hospital.

Listen, I don't think you understand.

I'm in a serious crisis. I just need a quick zap.

- I'll be out of your hair. - That's not how it works.

- Do you know who I am? - Yes. You're Patricia Phelps.

Your insurance ran out and you're no longer a patient here.

What, am I not crazy enough for you, huh?

What do you want me to do, huh? Do you want me to...

You want me to take a shit on the floor?

The state no longer considers that insane,

but go for it.

I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy!

I'm not!

I am.

Dad, I'm scared.

She's gonna be fine.

No, I mean, the ice cream place closes at 9:00.

We're not gonna make it.

Shh, let's not miss out on this chance to bond.

What kind of dad was I? Hmm?

Honestly, Dad,

right now, I'm just

trying not to rip this chair out of the floor

and throw it through that window.

I'm gonna walk around.

Hi.

Okay.

Let's go. Total bust.

Apparently, I'm not crazy enough for this place anymore.

I hope you're crazy enough to drive full speed

into the mall, because in one minute,

the ice cream store closes.

Fuck. We're not getting ice cream. We have ice cream at home.

It's not the same and you know it!

Gaynor, let's go.

I don't know why I get excited about anything.

- Almost. It's Phelps. - We are Phelps.

We are Phelps. We are Phelps.

They're amazing.

I hate this place.

We are Phelps.

- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com -

Jake, I'm tired of washing your sheets every day.

Either do your own laundry or put a sock on it.

I am a growing boy.

Yeah, well, grow into a tissue.

Hey, Jake, help me out here.

I'm trying to read your mom's book.

Ever since the accident, I still have problems

with abstract word fractions like... look at this.

I'm not allowed to read that.

Well, your dad says you can.

"The mailman obli-ged..."

That's obliged. The G is like a J.

Okay. All right. There you go.

"The mailmen obliged and fin-jer ban-jed..."

Okay, um, that's fingerbanged.

- Say it again. - Fingerbanged.

- Say it again. - Fingerbanged.

- I hate this. - Well, no.

We're father-son bonding. "He fingerbanged her tig-hit snatch."

Okay, I'm leaving.

Hey, sorry I overslept.

Did I miss breakfast?

Twice. It's Thursday.

I slept for two days and no one checked on me?

I'm sorry, I was a little busy taking care

of your newborn husband and your son

who's turning his laundry into sheetrock.

Hey, being a mascot is stressful.

You try walking a mile in my fuzzy shoes.

I'm sorry, honey, I wanted to check on you,

but I'm still having a problem with the stairs,

and the electric chair wasn't working.

The electric chair?

The chair that helps you get up and down the back steps.

Back steps?

Jesus Christ, we have an electric chair that gets old people upstairs.

- Gaynor. - Yeah?

- You don't have to do this. - No, I can do it.

It's not your job. I'll take it.

No, I can do it. No, leave it.

Come on. Give it to me.

- Give it to me. - Leave it.

Oh, my God, what is wrong with you?

You happy? You broke Jake's pillowcase.

Jake, you've got to be careful with your VR headset.

I didn't put that there. I don't play with that anymore.

All right, will everybody relax?

I'm sorry, we all don't have the luxury of sleeping for two days.

No one woke me up.

I'm not your alarm clock, Mom.

Okay, you know, I'm your mother.

- Hey. - I respect your stuff.

Hey!

As the leader of this family, I've made a decision.

We need professional help.

I'm gonna get us to the best doctor we can afford.

I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised

to hear from you, Terry.

You were in my phone under "cheap therapist."

Terry fell down the stairs and suffered

a traumatic brain injury and lost his memory.

Ah, I see.

Yeah, and then this one went batshit,

leaving me to clean up their mess.

That's our story.

Actually, the epilogue is, I'm home and I am healthy.

And the sequel is, I had to drive her back

to the mental hospital two days ago.

And the reboot is, I was too healthy to be let back in.

Guys, please. He's a professional.

We paid a lot of money to hear from him.

Please, Doctor.

Thank you, Terry.

You've all been through a lifetime's worth of trauma.

Healing as a family requires a lot of individual work

- and patience. - Screw that.

Listen, something's happened to my memory,

and I need it back now.

- That's not an ashtray. - I don't mind.

Something disturbing happened in my past.

I feel like it's right here...

and I can't get to it.

What about art therapy?

Painting allows people with physical and verbal challenges

access to thoughts, emotions, and fears

they can't otherwise express.

I've had quite a bit of success at it.

I'm sorry. Can we go?

I'm the only one in this family with a job,

and I can't afford to get fired.

No one asked you to quit school.

Well, I have to take care of this family.

That's a big job for a girl. Or even a boy.

You have to find a way to resolve that stress,

or it can lead to long-term psychological damage.

Your mother is a fine example of trauma run amok.

Ah, thanks for those genes, Mom.

Okay, well, I also gave you my thigh gap, so...

Obviously there's some mother-daughter issues at play.

No, I don't have any issues.

I just want to go back to being a loving wife and mother.

Why don't you try something you're good at instead?

Good one.

Button, let's be respectful to our mother.

She's an amazing woman.

Everybody in this family needs a break.

Reward yourself with something you enjoy.

You-you're a writer. Do that.

No writer enjoys writing.

Besides, my book is finished.

I guess I could promote it, but...

I really want to focus on this family.

Anyone here in favor of that?

- Fuck no. - No thanks.

- I'll call Kam on the way home. - Outstanding.

What about you, my furry friend?

Sometimes the youngest in the family gets lost in the shuffle.

Now is your time to be seen and heard.

Last year, there was this...

girl in my VR headset, and...

she was, like, trying to get me to do something...

Well, get used to that.

Ah, that's our time, Phelps.

He's good.

Hello, dear.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Honey, are you okay?

Yeah. Why do you ask?

You're screaming at our neighbor.

- Hi. - Hi, Ter.

You see her?

Yeah.

I let her in. Pat, this is Ruth.

Levin.

I- I just bought the house next door.

Apparently, the former owner, she committed suicide.

What are you gonna do?

Oh, that's for me.

Guy named Lard called.

Said he's my best friend. I don't know.

Ter-bear, think fast.

I just don't have it yet. I...

No, no. You're-you're getting better.

No, I'm not.

What are you doing here?

Well, like I said, I'm just, you know,

doing a little juicing for Terry and the kids.

I'm just trying to help out a little bit around here.

Are you okay?

You're real.

You're real too.

I used to know someone who looked just like you.

Isn't that funny?

I- I was thinking you look so familiar too.

Are you from Brooklyn?

Everyone in Connecticut is from Brooklyn.

Okay, so did you walk your dog in Prospect Park?

No.

Did you possess me in my attic?

No.

Hold on. We'll get it.

All right, so it couldn't be Rizzo's Butcher

because I was a vegetarian back then.

So we never met there.

And it's not Murray's Cheese

because I was lactose intolerant.

Oh, June Cleaver.

- What? - Ah.

You were in a prenatal yoga class

about 17 years ago.

- Cobble Hill Kundalini. - Yeah.

- Yes. - I only went twice.

I went on the regular.

I mean, in fact, I did absolutely everything

Dr. Spock recommended,

which really bugged the crap out of you.

I remember one day, I said that having a baby

was what my whole life was leading up to.

And then you called me June Cleaver

and everyone laughed, except me.

- I found it hurtful. - Oh, my God.

Last year, I was

tormented by this imaginary '50s housewife.

You must've made a real impression on me,

because she had your face.

Oh, I don't know what to do with that.

Nothing.

I just met the face of my mental illness.

Ah. Well, do me a favor, dear.

Will you hand your mental illness that knife?

Oh, yeah.

- Thank you. - Wow.

So if you were in that yoga class,

you must have a kid Gaynor's age.

It is the worst, right?

Well, my Leo's an angel.

Oh, well, you're lucky. My Gaynor is... she hates me.

I mean, my Leo's an angel.

- He was stillborn. - Oh.

What are you gonna do?

Oh, God.

So I based Rosemary on this woman I used to know.

Well, can she sue?

- I don't think so. - Then who gives a fuck?

Okay, I think we're done.

Thank you.

How do I look?

You look great.

She looks like the Joker.

I've done everything I can.

I know I'm sweating.

I just think I'm nervous to talk about the book.

You know what, honey? I say, let's just call it.

Let's get out of here.

They can go long with the snake therapy segment.

No, I have to do something productive.

- I need to mic you. - Okay.

Okay, well, you never get a second chance

to make a first impression, so let's stick to the story.

No ghosts. No demons.

You had a mental breakdown

while you were writing your book,

and now you're recovered.

That is the story.

Yup. Just like that.

Jesus fucking Christ.

And then my catalytic converter...

do you know what that is... got stolen, so that was

kind of sucky, but... oh, also...

Terry, I have a girlfriend now.

Oh.

Yeah, we met at your party. Oh, Claire's a writer.

Wicked smart. What else?

Um, well, she's in a coma. Do you remember Claire?

No. Honestly, I don't remember you.

Oh, come on.

Sure you do. Terry, I'm you best friend.

Right.

I peed on your floor before the ambulance came.

Stupid.

Now, I-I do remember an ambulance.

And I remember lying on the floor.

Oh.

Yeah. There's lots of colors.

Uh-huh. Coming back to me.

And there was yelling.

It was loud and scary and...

and...

And?

And... and-and...

Just fucking say it, Terry!

No. I forgot it.

That happens.

Anyway, I'm about done here with the painting

if you want to take a peek.

Wow.

I wish Claire's brain was alive to see this.

I'm gonna go and rub ice chips on her lips.

- See ya, buddy. - All right.

I'm gonna figure out what happened to me.

We're here with soft porn publishing phenom Pat Phelps.

Try saying that three times fast.

So great to have you on the show, Pat.

Ah, thanks, Lacy. Is it hot in here?

Not for me, but I'm younger.

Let's talk about your new book, Rosemary's Revenge.

It's kind of a slashy thriller with a retro '50s vibe.

Well, actually it's about mental illness and recovery.

Well, you haven't really recovered.

Have you, you crazy bitch?

Yes, I have, and that's not nice.

Oh, well, what about Terry?

Does he know about the choppy choppy choppy?

Um, can we talk about something else?

Of course. What's gonna happen

now that Rosemary lives next door?

No, her name is Ruth.

That's exactly what a demon would say.

I think I'm done here.

Ooh.

Get me the fuck out of here!

Help!

I'm sorry, Pat. This isn't the loony bin.

You're not getting out of here early.

Get me the fuck out of here!

Oh, my God.

Wow. Thank you, Pat Phelps.

We're gonna cut to commercial and, uh, call our legal team.

Up next, 16 more minutes of snake therapy

than we originally planned.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm okay.

Cut.

What the hell happened?

I don't know. I fell asleep.

I'm not ready for this.

Trish, look at me. You're fine, okay?

You fucked up on Good Morning, Shining Vale.

I mean, maybe four people saw it.

What the hell?

♪ You and no one Else will do ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ I've got to have My way now, baby ♪

♪ All I know is that to me ♪

♪ You look like You're having fun ♪

♪ Open up your loving arms ♪

♪ Watch out, here I come ♪

♪ You spin me right 'round Baby, right 'round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby Right 'round, 'round, 'round ♪

♪ You spin me right 'round Baby, right 'round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby Right 'round, 'round, 'round ♪

Gaynor.

Get out!

Holy fuck.

Hey, Ruth.

Hey, Pat.

I'm just doing a little gardening.

The soil here is so fertile, especially near the fence.

Don't you think it's a little weird

that out of all the places that you could move to,

it's right next door to someone

who used to bully you almost 20 years ago?

And that you're the face of my mental illness?

You know, Pat,

I've been through so much in my life,

so I've stopped asking myself, "Why me,"

and I've started asking myself, "Why me?"

I don't hear the difference.

Do you believe in signs?

No. Yes.

I don't... I'm neutral. Why?

A few months back,

I was feeling really down, you know?

I was tired of city life, and all of a sudden...

one sec, I have it in here somewhere.

What do I get in the mail? Ah, here it is.

Look at that.

"Priced to sell." It means murder house.

I got one too.

Yeah, but maybe God put me here

so that we could try again.

This time as friends.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Are you okay? You're shvitzing.

I've been sweating a lot lately and I'm just really tired.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I'm easy to talk to, Pat.

Look, when I was your age,

many years ago, I went through the change.

Many years ago? How old are you?

Well, a lady never tells, but I had the hot flashes.

I had the bags under the eyes. I had the dry coochie

until I discovered a miracle.

Weed?

- I can't. No. - No, no.

This is herbal tea. It's au naturel.

It comes from the herbs in my garden.

Hand to God, if you drink this,

you are gonna feel 25 again.

You are gonna be moist in all the right places.

No, I can't.

No offense, but it's your face.

And you just said "moist" to a stranger.

But we're not strangers, Pat.

We're neighbors.

You'll be back.

Hey.

Look, I found your ancient iPod recorder in the pool table.

It's called a Walkman, and it's not mine.

And it doesn't work.

Try pressing the power button.

I played it before. It was pretty fucking creepy.

These batteries expired in 1985.

That was 20 years ago.

It was almost 40 years ago.

No, it's not. It's...

Okay, what do you think you heard?

I don't know, It was the kind of music

in the movies you and Dad used to think were hilarious

and now suck and then someone screamed, "Get out."

You know I used to hear things.

No, this was different. It was real.

I thought it was real too.

If you want to talk about it...

No, I'm just...

I'm fucking with you.

Didn't they have jokes in the mental home?

What the hell?

Are you kidding me?

Come on, Terry.

Put it together.

What happened?

What are you missing?

It's gotta be here.

Terry! Terry!

Patty!

Terry!

Patty!

Hang on.

Terry!

I'm coming.

Terry!

I'm about halfway.

Ah, shit.

Patty!

Patty?

Yeah?

I came as fast as I could. Are you okay?

Yeah, why?

You were screaming.

Oh, I had a nightmare, but that was a while ago.

Yeah, I mean, I-I gotta get that chair motor fixed or something

'cause it's getting a little...

- Whoa. - Oh, my God.

No, no, no, it's-it's good. It's fine.

It's-it's better than fine. Nice job.

No, it just feels really weird

for you to see me naked for the first time.

It's not the first time. We have two grown children.

Yeah, but you were used to it.

It's like if you grow up in Cleveland,

you think, "Oh, isn't that a beautiful city?"

But if you see it for the first time,

you're like, "Ew, is that a river on fire?"

Well, maybe Terry likes downtown Cleveland.

Maybe we stop calling me Cleveland.

I'm sorry, Terry. It's just... it's not happening.

Well...

I don't understand. Did we not love each other?

Oh, we did. We do.

We will.

I just got out of the hospital and I don't feel sexy.

I'm not there yet.

Maybe I should kiss you.

Yeah, okay.

Get that...

- See what I mean? - Well, give it a second.

Ah, there's nothing.

Not with you. Not with these goddamn stairs.

I'm gonna go paint.

Try and figure out why all my pictures have axes in them.

- What? They do? - Yes, Pat.

Apparently, I have an axe stuck in my head.

Terry, wait.

Let's do it.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Hit the lights. - Okay.

And get the night-light.

Oh, maybe we should wait

till the moon goes behind that cloud.

Ah, yeah. Ooh, it's gonna be a minute.

- Won't be able to see anything. - Exactly.

And while you're up, will you hand me my purse?

I think my mom put some lube in there.

I...

Wait. Where are you going?

I'm going to paint.

I-I don't want to have deep space sex

with your mom's lube.

I'm sorry. I promise I'll get there.

Dammit.

Ugh, screw it.

Hello, dear. Here it is.

Now, it's very important you only take one cup...

- Just give me the tea. Thanks. - Oh,

- Yeah, I need it. - You don't need... oh.

- Oh. Oh. - Thanks. All right. Bye.

Hello, Cleveland.

Oh, this is pointless.

"She co-hopped her family

up with an axe."

Holy fuck.

Jake.

What do you want from me?

Hello, Jake.

Come and play with me.

I don't like this game.

It's not the same game.

What the fuck?

Crazy bitch.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Lacy.

- Hi. It's me, Pat. - Hi.

Hey. I was just on your show.

Are you serious?

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Okay.

Hey, I think I know who Rosemary is!

What?

Shit.

What are you gonna do?

- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com -