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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,619 --> 00:00:43,011 I can smell burning. 2 00:00:44,142 --> 00:00:46,044 - _ - I can smell burning, Mum! 3 00:00:47,044 --> 00:00:50,012 - Mum! - Oh! Argh! 4 00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:54,305 Don't worry, Georgie. It's just the hair straighteners... 5 00:00:54,318 --> 00:00:56,048 These sizzling firelighters 6 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,973 - have give me third-degree burns! - Nan! 7 00:00:57,998 --> 00:00:59,875 - Are you all right, Mum? - Of course she's all right. 8 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,615 Bit of Savlon and she'll be right as rain. Come here. 9 00:01:01,639 --> 00:01:04,434 You smell burning flesh, you click into medic mode, Georgie! 10 00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:06,315 - Man down. - Nan, you'll live. 11 00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:08,546 Mum, you've laddered your tights. 12 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,211 Right. Well, don't worry, there's plenty more. Top drawer. 13 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:14,057 Left or right eye, Georgie?! Left. 14 00:01:14,118 --> 00:01:16,948 - Right. Left. Right. - Quick march! 15 00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:19,171 Um, er... left! 16 00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,880 - Really? - Yeah, left. 17 00:01:20,937 --> 00:01:22,119 Right. Cars are nearly here, 18 00:01:22,143 --> 00:01:24,436 - so you lot can stop titting about! - Max, get out! 19 00:01:24,444 --> 00:01:26,450 - You're not allowed in here. - I said no champagne! 20 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,467 Are you kidding me? 21 00:01:27,484 --> 00:01:30,096 Us young ladies have got us bits out here. 22 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,686 Georgie, can you please instil some urgency? 23 00:01:32,712 --> 00:01:35,737 Right, Dad, I'm on it. Prepare to launch Phase One. 24 00:01:36,306 --> 00:01:37,988 And no more champagne! 25 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:43,905 - Cheers. - Cheers! 26 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:15,600 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 27 00:02:18,883 --> 00:02:20,707 Look at you! 28 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,722 - Looking good. - Looking fresh! 29 00:02:23,395 --> 00:02:25,961 - Hello, my love. How are you? - Good! How are you? 30 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,859 Do you know the last wedding I was at, right? 31 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:31,250 I had to do a tactical vomit in the font at the back. 32 00:02:31,865 --> 00:02:33,785 Well, I came straight from the stag do, hadn't I? 33 00:02:35,571 --> 00:02:36,694 How's Fingers? 34 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,663 I haven't seen him this nervous since the bossman 35 00:02:38,673 --> 00:02:40,893 made us jump off that cliff in Bangladesh. 36 00:02:41,949 --> 00:02:43,759 Oh, my days. 37 00:02:44,605 --> 00:02:46,430 What has she come as? 38 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,782 There's my lickle champion. Come here, baby, come here. 39 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,726 You didn't leave me no money to pay the cab. 40 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,812 Guys, this is Doris. 41 00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,088 Hiya. There'd better be a free bar, 42 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,524 that's all I'm saying. 43 00:03:04,882 --> 00:03:06,743 She gets awkward around new people. 44 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,877 Come, baby, come, come, come. 45 00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:13,035 I don't care what they're paying you, it isn't enough. 46 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:16,982 Just keep breathing. Calm down. 47 00:03:16,993 --> 00:03:18,244 I knew I shouldn't have had those beans. 48 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:19,479 Oh, here we go. 49 00:03:20,894 --> 00:03:22,879 Eh, taxi's here. HE SHOUTS: Taxi's here! 50 00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:24,301 That's really going to help my tinnitus. 51 00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:28,185 Our girl's getting married, mother! Taxi's here. 52 00:03:28,359 --> 00:03:30,093 Taxis are here. 53 00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:31,933 Come on, in there. Come on. 54 00:03:31,954 --> 00:03:33,335 Taxis are here. 55 00:03:33,676 --> 00:03:35,532 I'm paying by the hour, so I don't care 56 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,085 if you're in your knickers or not. Come on. Thank you. Lovely. 57 00:03:38,116 --> 00:03:39,167 Let's go. 58 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:43,633 Gracie, does my facilitator make me look like an alien? 59 00:03:43,858 --> 00:03:45,796 - Be honest. - You are a bloody alien! 60 00:03:45,822 --> 00:03:48,055 - You look lovely, Mum. - Exterminate! 61 00:03:48,058 --> 00:03:49,299 - Exterminate! - YOU! 62 00:03:49,319 --> 00:03:50,924 I'll terminate you. 63 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,511 - Bleeding... - It's a fascinator, you daft bat! 64 00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:54,937 - Whatever! - You two, behave! 65 00:03:54,962 --> 00:03:56,818 My beads are coming off. 66 00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:04,354 Oh, Marie! 67 00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:09,338 Perfect. 68 00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:12,813 Yep. 69 00:04:12,982 --> 00:04:15,510 Let's hope the groom turns up this time. 70 00:04:15,561 --> 00:04:17,145 No offence, Georgie. 71 00:04:17,217 --> 00:04:18,443 Oh, Nan. 72 00:04:18,568 --> 00:04:20,945 Who could take offence at anything you say, eh? 73 00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:24,016 Right, come on. Chop, chop! 74 00:04:26,513 --> 00:04:27,739 Come on. 75 00:04:27,964 --> 00:04:29,958 I can't breathe, Georgie. 76 00:04:30,414 --> 00:04:31,573 Listen... 77 00:04:32,593 --> 00:04:34,172 It's going to be amazing. 78 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,680 You're amazing. 79 00:04:37,805 --> 00:04:39,407 Am I going to be all right 80 00:04:40,181 --> 00:04:41,494 at being a wife? I mean... 81 00:04:41,504 --> 00:04:44,083 it's like a lifetime commitment. 82 00:04:44,088 --> 00:04:45,559 You're going to be brilliant. 83 00:04:46,846 --> 00:04:48,526 You're not having second thoughts, are you? 84 00:04:48,774 --> 00:04:50,179 Are you joking? 85 00:04:50,215 --> 00:04:52,834 I'm pinching myself. I love him so much 86 00:04:52,855 --> 00:04:55,746 - it actually scares me a little bit, Georgie. - Well, he loves you too, 87 00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:58,233 so it's a match made in frigging heaven. 88 00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,817 Everything tickety boo, chaps? 89 00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:04,667 Bricks are currently being shat, Your Majesty. 90 00:05:09,563 --> 00:05:10,917 Got the rings? 91 00:05:11,383 --> 00:05:12,455 Check. 92 00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:15,089 Speech? 93 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,930 It's all up here, fella. I'm going to wing it... 94 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,176 make it up as I go along. 95 00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:21,442 If you mention that bar in Kenya... 96 00:05:21,478 --> 00:05:23,190 Aw, like I'd ever do that. 97 00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:55,326 You look beautiful, 98 00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:56,895 like, really beautiful. 99 00:05:57,254 --> 00:05:58,674 Perfect, babe. 100 00:05:58,746 --> 00:06:01,268 You don't look too minging yourself, fella. 101 00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:04,575 Last of the true romantics! 102 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:07,466 We have come together in the presence of God 103 00:06:07,496 --> 00:06:10,363 to witness the marriage of Frankie and Marie, 104 00:06:10,488 --> 00:06:12,526 to ask his blessing on them 105 00:06:12,651 --> 00:06:14,392 and to rejoice with them. 106 00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:17,878 The union of husband and wife in heart 107 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:21,857 and mind and body is given for their mutual comfort 108 00:06:21,909 --> 00:06:24,954 and help in prosperity and adversity. 109 00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:36,110 Let us pray. 110 00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:41,676 Eternal God, 111 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,551 creator and preserver of all, 112 00:06:43,589 --> 00:06:45,396 giver of spiritual grace and author 113 00:06:45,416 --> 00:06:46,990 - of everlasting life, - _ 114 00:06:47,026 --> 00:06:49,608 send your blessing on Frankie and Marie. 115 00:06:50,056 --> 00:06:53,723 Amen. Now that Frankie and Marie have given their consent, 116 00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:55,934 I declare that they are man and wife. 117 00:06:56,575 --> 00:06:58,267 You may kiss the bride. 118 00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:07,019 Thank you. 119 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:10,211 - Georgie, come and dance with us. - Nah, I can't. I'm doing the rounds, 120 00:07:10,237 --> 00:07:12,062 making sure everyone's happy in my role as 121 00:07:12,077 --> 00:07:13,938 - head of ambience, thank you. - Hey. 122 00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:17,173 - State of your nan, she'll be going home in an ambience! - Oh, God. 123 00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:20,579 You all right, Nan? 124 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,853 - Live your dreams, darling. Live your dreams. - I will. 125 00:07:24,905 --> 00:07:27,956 And you're going to live your dreams an' all, aren't you, love? 126 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,519 - OK. - Are you going to show me your weapon later? 127 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:33,882 - OK! Georgie? Hello? - Mate! 128 00:07:36,087 --> 00:07:38,830 Hey, here she comes! The big girl. Thank you. 129 00:07:38,845 --> 00:07:41,152 - When are we going to have our dance, then, Georgie? - In these shoes, Dad, 130 00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:42,275 I don't think so! 131 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,976 Thank you. Oh, your dad wants a dance with you. 132 00:07:45,017 --> 00:07:47,278 Mum, my toes couldn't take it. 133 00:07:47,294 --> 00:07:49,855 Oh, she's only ever happy in her army boots, aren't you? 134 00:07:50,492 --> 00:07:52,255 Honestly, these are so high! 135 00:07:52,287 --> 00:07:53,933 Oh, bless you. Let's have a look. 136 00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:55,148 Look. Oh, yeah. 137 00:07:56,363 --> 00:07:57,778 ♪ So at my show on Monday ♪ 138 00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:59,295 ♪ I was hoping someday ♪ 139 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,871 - ♪ You'd be on your way to better things ♪ - Hey. 140 00:08:01,883 --> 00:08:03,142 Your day'll come. 141 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,325 Mum! You're starting to sound like Nan. 142 00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:07,684 You'll be telling me to live my dreams next. 143 00:08:07,708 --> 00:08:09,610 I just want you to be happy, that's all. 144 00:08:09,635 --> 00:08:11,404 I know. Of course you do. But I am. 145 00:08:11,429 --> 00:08:14,295 - I am happy. - No, I mean properly happy. 146 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,453 Are you saying I can't be happy without a man? 147 00:08:16,858 --> 00:08:18,519 - No, I... - Jeez, Mum! 148 00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:21,383 ♪ Not about to lie down for your cause ♪ 149 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,057 ♪ But you don't pull my strings ♪ 150 00:08:23,074 --> 00:08:24,794 ♪ 'Cause I'm a better man ♪ 151 00:08:25,017 --> 00:08:27,511 ♪ Moving on to better things ♪ 152 00:08:27,683 --> 00:08:30,859 ♪ Well, uh-oh, oh, I love her because... ♪ 153 00:08:31,054 --> 00:08:33,391 - Don't say anything, Kingy. - Hey. Wouldn't dream of it. 154 00:08:33,463 --> 00:08:35,462 I'm all right. I'm all right. 155 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,138 Hey, hey. 156 00:08:39,409 --> 00:08:41,224 - You are, mate. - Thank you. 157 00:08:42,998 --> 00:08:44,295 Look... 158 00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:46,612 give it time, you know... 159 00:08:46,643 --> 00:08:48,659 - No, let me stop you. Let me stop you. - Sure... Hey, hey. 160 00:08:48,683 --> 00:08:49,946 - You don't even know what I'm going to say! - Mate, I do! 161 00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:51,777 I do know what you're going to say. All right, listen... 162 00:08:51,801 --> 00:08:53,108 I'm not looking for anything. 163 00:08:53,123 --> 00:08:55,626 I'm married to my job now that I'm a sergeant. 164 00:08:55,689 --> 00:08:57,281 ♪ But you don't pull my strings ♪ 165 00:08:57,297 --> 00:08:58,883 ♪ 'Cause I'm a better man ♪ 166 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,180 ♪ Moving on to better things ♪ 167 00:09:01,204 --> 00:09:02,924 - ♪ Well, uh-oh, oh, ♪ - Are you all packed? 168 00:09:03,768 --> 00:09:06,295 - You don't need too much for The Sand. - That's true. 169 00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:09,219 Hey. Who have you got up your sleeve for us, Lane? 170 00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,982 We'll need a good medic to fill your size fives! 171 00:09:11,997 --> 00:09:14,982 You'll be meeting her on "mission-specific training". 172 00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:20,110 _ 173 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:24,618 ♪ But uh oh, she came to my show ♪ 174 00:09:24,657 --> 00:09:25,828 I'm all right. 175 00:09:26,578 --> 00:09:27,643 I'm OK. 176 00:09:30,447 --> 00:09:31,636 Come on, Nan! 177 00:09:31,698 --> 00:09:35,433 - Up the wooden hill to Lancashire for you. - I'm having a nightcap first. 178 00:09:35,452 --> 00:09:37,578 Don't you think you've had enough, you drunken old sot? 179 00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:40,857 - Don't call her that. - Hey, I said sot, not sod. 180 00:09:40,893 --> 00:09:43,179 Mind you, if the facilitator fits... 181 00:09:44,205 --> 00:09:45,938 Me shoes are squelching. 182 00:09:45,973 --> 00:09:47,522 I know, well, they will be, won't they, 183 00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:48,998 after what you've just done in the lift? 184 00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:51,987 ♪ Let's go to Lancashire! ♪ 185 00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:54,536 All right. Night, Nan. 186 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,443 - Night. - Night, love. 187 00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:58,001 - Night, Dad. - Love ya. 188 00:09:58,027 --> 00:09:59,190 Love you. 189 00:10:01,938 --> 00:10:04,635 - Approximately nine dead... - Request air support... 190 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,455 - Suspected IED on rooftop... - ELVIS! 191 00:10:19,129 --> 00:10:21,899 Put your head up, how do you know it's not going to get blown off? 192 00:10:22,138 --> 00:10:24,712 A dead medic is no good to anyone. 193 00:10:24,722 --> 00:10:27,178 Now, get your eyes on your Colour Sergeant! 194 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,511 Right, guys. 195 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,091 On my command, 196 00:10:30,126 --> 00:10:33,336 we move out of the trench, 0s, 5s and 20s. 197 00:10:33,461 --> 00:10:36,786 Fan out and protect so the medic can make way to casualty. 198 00:10:36,832 --> 00:10:38,495 Prepare to move... 199 00:10:38,966 --> 00:10:40,124 move! 200 00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:43,335 The days of shouting "medic" and we're safe are gone. 201 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,847 You're as much of a target as any of the infantry. 202 00:10:45,898 --> 00:10:48,855 - OK. - Friendlies, forward right. 203 00:10:49,390 --> 00:10:51,190 Medic! Medic! 204 00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:53,220 Man down, cover in place. 205 00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:55,035 Assess the casualties! 206 00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:58,844 Gun. 207 00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:03,120 Let's go. 208 00:11:10,826 --> 00:11:12,635 Talk to him. Reassure him. 209 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,214 What do I say? 210 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,239 Well, you know how to talk, don't you, Mimi? 211 00:11:18,485 --> 00:11:20,161 Come on! We did the theory! 212 00:11:20,187 --> 00:11:21,681 We're just putting that theory into practice. 213 00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:23,619 - OK. - Tell him to keep still and ask him his name. 214 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:26,980 Right. Keep still... and what's your name? 215 00:11:27,175 --> 00:11:29,939 - Derek. - OK, Derek, and where does it hurt? 216 00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,219 Take a guess. Look. 217 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:35,147 Leg blown off, catastrophic bleed. What are you going to do? 218 00:11:35,527 --> 00:11:37,677 - Tourniquet and staunch the bleed. - Exactly! 219 00:11:37,718 --> 00:11:39,364 Look, Mimi, you know what you're doing. 220 00:11:39,405 --> 00:11:40,779 I know, but it's a little bit off-putting 221 00:11:40,794 --> 00:11:42,583 with you standing over me, know what I mean? 222 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,990 Don't worry, 'cos in Afghan you're going to be on you're own. 223 00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:46,327 Get your tourniquet on! 224 00:11:46,829 --> 00:11:50,218 See? This is why we train. We train hard and we fight easy. 225 00:11:50,254 --> 00:11:53,141 You reach for your tourniquet and know exactly where it is, 226 00:11:53,177 --> 00:11:56,001 it's going to save you seconds and it could save his life. Yeah? 227 00:11:57,104 --> 00:11:58,293 Question. 228 00:11:58,908 --> 00:12:00,388 Why did you leave the first casualty? 229 00:12:00,484 --> 00:12:02,645 No pulse, so he wouldn't have made the MERT. 230 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:06,098 - Good. - Incoming fire. Take cover. 231 00:12:11,717 --> 00:12:13,383 Don't look at me. I'm not here. 232 00:12:13,419 --> 00:12:15,499 You and your casualty need to get to cover, now! 233 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,748 You heard your Platoon Commander. 234 00:12:16,772 --> 00:12:18,341 - All right. - Come on. 235 00:12:18,466 --> 00:12:20,304 Everyone into the safe vehicle... 236 00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:22,585 hot extraction out of the danger zone. 237 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,466 - The MERT can't land, take the casualty. - Get him in the vehicle, 238 00:12:25,486 --> 00:12:27,086 and monitor his vital signs, OK? 239 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:30,643 - Mind you, his vital signs are going to be fine! - Get him into the vehicle, now! 240 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,617 Throbber, can you come give me a hand with this, please? 241 00:12:33,781 --> 00:12:35,888 All right, fella. Let's get you on your foot. 242 00:12:41,081 --> 00:12:43,736 Move along the safe route back towards the farm. 243 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,018 I tell you, I was gutted to miss out on Herrick. 244 00:12:47,561 --> 00:12:49,756 My dad was on the first Herrick tour. 245 00:12:51,315 --> 00:12:53,637 Still, at least we'll be out there, in The Sand. 246 00:12:54,632 --> 00:12:56,353 You're training and security, sir. 247 00:12:56,405 --> 00:12:59,322 Hang on. Here we go. Prepare to detonate... 248 00:12:59,447 --> 00:13:00,747 ... detonate. 249 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,187 Not bad. 250 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,939 You shit yourself, Prof? 251 00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:10,469 Ugh! 252 00:13:10,936 --> 00:13:13,642 - The Prof just shat, guys! - Give it a rest. 253 00:13:13,643 --> 00:13:15,580 I didn't know the whiz-bangs were going to be that loud. 254 00:13:15,585 --> 00:13:17,744 Listen, Pirbright had us training with even louder ones, Prof. 255 00:13:17,765 --> 00:13:20,267 Concentrate. Fingers, call it in. 256 00:13:20,344 --> 00:13:22,820 Prof, Monk, prepare tactical theatre procedures... 257 00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:26,184 One zero Charlie to zero, contact, wait out, 258 00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:28,566 moving casualty, firefight, 259 00:13:28,597 --> 00:13:30,890 - vehicle incapacitated. - Roger that. 260 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,499 Right, guys. Treat as ambush, evacuate zero, 261 00:13:33,535 --> 00:13:35,580 remembering your 0s, 5s and 20s, 262 00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:39,456 bounce to safe area, dig in and await further instruction. 263 00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:41,876 Fingers, with electronic counter measure bubble. 264 00:13:41,907 --> 00:13:44,291 Safe area, 50 metres east. Let's move. 265 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,567 All right, let's go! 266 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,730 - Real emergency, guys. - Colour! 267 00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:53,417 - Whoa! - Come on, mate. Up you get. 268 00:13:53,678 --> 00:13:54,993 Come on, up you get, mate. 269 00:13:55,016 --> 00:13:56,349 How's the patient, medic? 270 00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:58,930 - Stable, Colour Sergeant. - Unlike the Prof. 271 00:13:58,939 --> 00:13:59,939 Knock it on the head. 272 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,423 What are you going to do? Put me in detention? 273 00:14:01,535 --> 00:14:03,100 Right. Once cover's in place, 274 00:14:03,121 --> 00:14:05,356 we move him into the safety area. 275 00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:08,151 - Real emergency, guys. - Colour! 276 00:14:10,114 --> 00:14:12,339 Textbook. You agree, Sergeant Lane? 277 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,943 No plan survives contact with the enemy, sir. 278 00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,106 The back doors are open. 279 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,265 No-one was checking for snipers. 280 00:14:19,516 --> 00:14:21,920 ECM can't protect you from a bullet in the head, sir. 281 00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:25,985 Right, 2 section. 282 00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:28,185 - All round defence. - Colour! 283 00:14:28,236 --> 00:14:29,739 That's mission complete. 284 00:14:30,425 --> 00:14:32,163 Excellent, great effort, guys. 285 00:14:32,179 --> 00:14:33,501 On me for a debrief. 286 00:14:33,548 --> 00:14:36,521 - Is that me... finished? - Yes, mate! You're officially dead. 287 00:14:36,593 --> 00:14:38,379 Throbber, on me. 288 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:41,372 - Relax. You did well. - Really? 289 00:14:42,121 --> 00:14:43,797 I asked him where it hurt 290 00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:45,807 and he'd just had his leg blown off! 291 00:14:48,411 --> 00:14:51,394 Work hard and be an asset to the section. 292 00:14:52,338 --> 00:14:53,450 You're good. 293 00:14:53,666 --> 00:14:55,819 Always treat it as an ambush. 294 00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:58,982 One explosion may be followed by more explosions 295 00:14:59,013 --> 00:15:00,979 or direct or indirect gun fire. 296 00:15:01,449 --> 00:15:04,210 Now, who was covering the Prof when he was getting out of the vehicle? 297 00:15:04,777 --> 00:15:08,048 We can return fire if positive identification of the enemy 298 00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:09,287 is made in accordance 299 00:15:09,295 --> 00:15:11,297 - _ - with the rules of engagement... Throbber... 300 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:12,942 tell me what the plan was. 301 00:15:12,994 --> 00:15:14,656 Move out of the kill zone, sir... 302 00:15:14,886 --> 00:15:16,716 For I am too pretty to die. 303 00:15:16,742 --> 00:15:18,726 Oi. Oi! 304 00:15:19,034 --> 00:15:21,858 When you're asked a question by an officer on a training exercise, 305 00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:24,150 you answer it to the best of your ability, 306 00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:26,477 with the respect due. Understood? 307 00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,148 Private Grant? 308 00:15:31,101 --> 00:15:34,245 Move to the best location in order to reconsolidate 309 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,054 and further assess the situation. 310 00:15:36,137 --> 00:15:39,259 Keep security 360 degrees at all times, sir. 311 00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:40,730 That's how it's done 312 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,884 and that's how you address an officer. 313 00:15:43,084 --> 00:15:46,550 Right, guys, inside, shower, scoff and prepare for a kit inspection. 314 00:15:51,969 --> 00:15:53,584 I'm loving all this, Kingy! 315 00:15:53,943 --> 00:15:56,460 Indeed... sir. 316 00:15:57,204 --> 00:15:59,439 - Do you like him, then, or what? - Who? 317 00:15:59,564 --> 00:16:01,039 The new boss. 318 00:16:02,115 --> 00:16:03,622 He's Grade 8 trumpet. 319 00:16:04,335 --> 00:16:07,329 - What does that mean? - No, I genuinely mean it. 320 00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:09,589 He's Grade 8 trumpet! 321 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,650 Walks around the barracks playing the thing! 322 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,547 I can't get it out of my head! It's my earworm 323 00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:15,295 when I lie down to sleep. 324 00:16:15,818 --> 00:16:18,935 I could do with another grown-up coming away on tour with me. 325 00:16:19,695 --> 00:16:21,299 I think you'll cope, Kingy. 326 00:16:22,909 --> 00:16:25,057 Wish you'd come back and join the platoon. 327 00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:27,410 Need someone with some miles on the clock... 328 00:16:27,425 --> 00:16:30,873 - Oh, thanks. Nice! - You know what I mean. 329 00:16:31,662 --> 00:16:33,815 This lot's still fresh off the forecourt. 330 00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,210 Your country needs you. 331 00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:38,481 Or rather, I need you. 332 00:16:39,173 --> 00:16:40,511 Come on. 333 00:16:40,636 --> 00:16:42,372 Training and security. 334 00:16:42,497 --> 00:16:45,433 - You'd be in the safety of Kabul. - Nah, you're all right, Kingy. 335 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,615 Yeah. I know. 336 00:16:49,171 --> 00:16:50,591 Afghan... 337 00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:53,300 must fuck with your head. All those men we lost. 338 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:58,650 Elvis isn't the reason why I'm not coming back, Kingy. 339 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,299 I've found my niche here. 340 00:17:01,818 --> 00:17:03,603 I'm a good instructor. 341 00:17:03,628 --> 00:17:05,643 And to be honest, as weird as this sounds, 342 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:08,591 I'm enjoying being back home with the rents! 343 00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:10,895 Look. 344 00:17:11,129 --> 00:17:12,379 You're a good medic 345 00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:14,159 and a top soldier. 346 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,210 That's why we miss you and the platoon do too. 347 00:17:18,312 --> 00:17:19,575 Listen. 348 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:21,899 Private Saunders is going to be good. 349 00:17:22,602 --> 00:17:25,514 Spend a penny and save a pound's worth of trouble with her. 350 00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:28,221 Right. That'll do me, then. 351 00:17:28,944 --> 00:17:31,459 Oh... need a bit of a favour from you tonight. 352 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,806 Go on? 353 00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:38,127 I am, like, officially, the best drinker in Wolverhampton. 354 00:17:38,163 --> 00:17:39,926 Well, we all gotta be good at something. 355 00:17:39,936 --> 00:17:42,716 I bet you've had some mental nights out in Wolverhampton-wick. 356 00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:46,146 First night out as a married man, boys. Best look after me. 357 00:17:46,177 --> 00:17:48,455 I get that you want to smell nice for the disco, but... 358 00:17:48,473 --> 00:17:51,246 Disco? How are we getting there? By the fucking TARDIS? 359 00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,847 You look fine, Mimi. 360 00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:56,455 You going to ask me if I twerk next? 361 00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:59,448 - Just being nice. - You wearing that shirt for a bet, Monk? 362 00:18:00,588 --> 00:18:02,179 That's bad. 363 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,447 - You coming out tonight, George? - Yep. 364 00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:07,170 Kingy's asked me to keep an eye on you muppets. Shark watch! 365 00:18:07,209 --> 00:18:08,875 You're just keeping an eye on your brother-in-law. 366 00:18:08,894 --> 00:18:11,669 - Report back to Marie? - Have you spoken to her today? 367 00:18:11,694 --> 00:18:13,931 Yes, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways, mate. 368 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,257 She's sorting out our honeymoon for when I go on R&R. 369 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,365 - My man is loved up. - Yes. I'm a one-man woman, bro. 370 00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:21,012 One-woman man, Fingers. 371 00:18:21,057 --> 00:18:23,613 - Is it? - I'd never cheat on my Doris. 372 00:18:23,665 --> 00:18:26,869 - You wouldn't dare, you. - So, Prof, you're the only singleton here. 373 00:18:26,913 --> 00:18:28,664 - Come on. Get ready. - You've got to be single, Throbber. 374 00:18:28,679 --> 00:18:30,864 Mate, I've got about nine sorts on the go. 375 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,939 Don't you worry about my legendary cockerel. 376 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,765 Na, na, na. I'm single an' all. 377 00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:35,960 - Is it? - Mm. 378 00:18:35,975 --> 00:18:37,831 Prof, meet Mimi. 379 00:18:37,857 --> 00:18:39,492 You swiping left or right, fella? 380 00:18:39,528 --> 00:18:41,789 - What's going on, Prof? - I don't drink, 381 00:18:41,805 --> 00:18:43,850 - it's a good book and... - If you don't give us an "and" 382 00:18:43,866 --> 00:18:46,152 in the next two seconds, you're going with them, Prof. 383 00:18:46,163 --> 00:18:50,289 One, two... right, that's it! Get changed. That's an order. 384 00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,860 He's actually being serious. We never leave a man behind. Sorry. 385 00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:55,821 Right. I'll put on my new Paisley shirt. 386 00:18:56,006 --> 00:18:58,599 - Heads will turn. - Like the Exorcist. 387 00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:02,214 - Here, what's that trumpet noise? - That's the bossman, Mimi. 388 00:19:02,638 --> 00:19:05,756 - Why's he playing the trumpet? - 'Cos he's a Rupert, babe. 389 00:19:16,019 --> 00:19:19,137 Right. Bonus beer for anyone who can tell me what I was just playing! 390 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,181 The trumpet, sir! Yes! 391 00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:26,259 What? What are you all laughing at? 392 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:28,819 - That's a fucking trumpet, ain't it? - Prof? 393 00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:30,579 Triumphal... 394 00:19:31,026 --> 00:19:32,441 - ... March? - By? 395 00:19:32,897 --> 00:19:34,584 Giuseppe Verdi? 396 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,578 Colour Sergeant, make a note! Bonus beer for that man. 397 00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:39,075 He doesn't even drink, boss. 398 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,058 - I can have a mocktail. - Ooh! 399 00:19:41,068 --> 00:19:46,076 Right, guys, minibus departing from outside here at 2000 hours. 400 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:50,684 Estimated time of arrival at Two Lips Karaoke Bar, 2020. 401 00:19:50,716 --> 00:19:53,253 Three drinks of your choice. 402 00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:57,380 2230, you will reboard the minibus for the journey back to camp. 403 00:19:57,393 --> 00:20:01,298 - Any questions? - Yes, Colour, how many drinks is three? 404 00:20:01,324 --> 00:20:03,374 - As long as we don't see... ? - We see everything. 405 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,358 Three. 406 00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:08,558 We all got that? 407 00:20:08,604 --> 00:20:09,849 Colour. 408 00:20:09,921 --> 00:20:12,397 Right then, chaps. Pip, pip. 409 00:20:22,958 --> 00:20:24,674 What was that? 410 00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:27,101 Mate, he's got the whitest ankles I've seen in my life. 411 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,495 They're a good bunch, Kingy. 412 00:20:38,123 --> 00:20:39,477 Remember, sir... 413 00:20:39,602 --> 00:20:41,692 ... one day you're going to need to give them a bollocking 414 00:20:41,697 --> 00:20:43,217 and they're going to need to listen... 415 00:20:43,298 --> 00:20:44,486 ... sir. 416 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,899 One singer, one song, Colour Sergeant King. 417 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,095 I know how to lead my men, 418 00:20:50,695 --> 00:20:52,390 but thank you for the advice. 419 00:20:52,515 --> 00:20:53,899 You're the officer, sir. 420 00:20:53,981 --> 00:20:55,514 What song are you singing, Kingy? 421 00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:58,379 - I don't think so. - Look. 422 00:20:58,897 --> 00:21:01,660 It's not going to do the guys any harm to see you let your hair down. 423 00:21:05,977 --> 00:21:07,649 I sing one song, 424 00:21:08,654 --> 00:21:10,489 you don't take that trumpet on tour. 425 00:21:10,614 --> 00:21:12,329 What are you saying about my trumpet? 426 00:21:14,436 --> 00:21:17,856 Put a Taliban warlord and that trumpet next to each other, 427 00:21:18,285 --> 00:21:20,433 I dunno which I'd shoot first. 428 00:21:20,452 --> 00:21:21,779 Sir. 429 00:21:21,904 --> 00:21:25,431 One song, and this trumpet stays at home. 430 00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:29,155 ♪ Oh, you to me are everything ♪ 431 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,591 ♪ The sweetest song that I can sing, oh, baby ♪ 432 00:21:33,097 --> 00:21:34,699 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 433 00:21:35,116 --> 00:21:38,264 ♪ To you I guess I'm just a clown ♪ 434 00:21:38,288 --> 00:21:42,012 ♪ Who picks you up each time you're down, oh, baby... ♪ 435 00:21:42,137 --> 00:21:46,103 - Don't you think you've had enough? - Don't judge me, 'cos you're boring. 436 00:21:52,595 --> 00:21:54,902 I can see why you don't imbibe, Prof. 437 00:21:55,027 --> 00:21:57,030 Oh. Imbibe. 438 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,042 Exactly. 439 00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:01,035 My mum liked a sherry as well, so... 440 00:22:01,092 --> 00:22:02,861 ... it's put me off for life. 441 00:22:04,765 --> 00:22:07,238 So you're not in the mosh pit with the rest of the dudes? 442 00:22:07,302 --> 00:22:09,700 Mm, I think not. 443 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,749 Are you looking forward to Afghan? 444 00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:16,832 It's got to be better than playground duty, hasn't it? 445 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,305 Can't believe you were a history teacher at my old school. 446 00:22:22,337 --> 00:22:24,279 - I know. - How mad is that? 447 00:22:25,337 --> 00:22:28,741 How come, like, well... why? 448 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,997 How did I end up here with this absolute shower of... 449 00:22:32,022 --> 00:22:35,104 - ... who are even more gobby than me old Year 8s? - Yes! 450 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:38,371 - I don't know. - I mean, you've got a degree. 451 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,714 Why didn't you go to Sandhurst? 452 00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:41,421 This is what I wanted. 453 00:22:41,949 --> 00:22:43,974 I wanted to be an ordinary soldier. 454 00:22:44,302 --> 00:22:46,261 Leave someone else to give the orders. 455 00:22:46,296 --> 00:22:49,665 ♪ ... The sweetest song that I can sing, oh, baby ♪ 456 00:22:49,706 --> 00:22:50,864 ♪ Oh, Colour! ♪ 457 00:22:50,989 --> 00:22:53,289 If you want to be an ordinary soldier, 458 00:22:53,904 --> 00:22:55,960 maybe you should start behaving like one. 459 00:22:56,554 --> 00:22:58,421 - Are you saying... ? - Mm-hm. 460 00:22:58,426 --> 00:22:59,980 - Go on! Go on. - What, you want me to go down? 461 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:02,039 Yes, I do. Please do. 462 00:23:02,091 --> 00:23:03,352 I'll hold your glass. 463 00:23:03,372 --> 00:23:05,299 - Thank you. - Mosh pit, here I come. 464 00:23:05,514 --> 00:23:06,730 Good luck. 465 00:23:27,085 --> 00:23:29,556 ♪ I need to know now ♪ 466 00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,755 ♪ Know now ♪ 467 00:23:31,770 --> 00:23:34,000 ♪ Can you love me again? ♪ 468 00:23:35,215 --> 00:23:37,881 Sir, he needs his collar yanked! Throbber. 469 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:41,302 Let them have a bit of fun and they run through walls for you. 470 00:23:50,038 --> 00:23:51,396 Get the fuck off! 471 00:23:51,429 --> 00:23:54,083 It's just a frigging dance. Stop being such a twat! 472 00:23:54,107 --> 00:23:56,818 Mate, do yourself a favour and don't get me at it. 473 00:23:57,439 --> 00:23:59,705 All right, mate, I ain't going to marry her. You're safe. 474 00:23:59,725 --> 00:24:01,571 Yeah? You won't be in a minute. 475 00:24:01,602 --> 00:24:04,006 Whoa, whoa. You step away, Throbber, and you just calm down! 476 00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:06,534 - Oi! - You need to fuck off now! 477 00:24:06,554 --> 00:24:07,897 Yeah? What? 478 00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:11,651 Oi! 479 00:24:11,776 --> 00:24:14,487 - Throbber! - Throbber, chill out, yeah? Chill out! 480 00:24:14,502 --> 00:24:15,850 Relax. 481 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,363 - James! - Just calm yourself down! 482 00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,415 - James! - Oh, shit. 483 00:24:20,444 --> 00:24:22,931 Right, lights on. I need an ambulance. 484 00:24:22,963 --> 00:24:25,117 It's all right, darling. It's OK. It's all right. 485 00:24:25,187 --> 00:24:27,654 Everybody, take two big steps back please. 486 00:24:27,693 --> 00:24:30,001 - Give them a little bit of space. - Just keep really calm. What's your name? 487 00:24:30,025 --> 00:24:32,050 - Jazz. - Jazz. OK, Jazz, 488 00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:34,120 just keep really nice and still for me. 489 00:24:34,245 --> 00:24:37,241 - Am I going to die? - No, no, we're going to look after you. 490 00:24:37,247 --> 00:24:40,239 - Do you need me to do anything, Georgie? - Yeah, I need your shirt, please. 491 00:24:40,263 --> 00:24:42,772 Listen, I'm gonna staunch the bleed and we're gonna stitch you up. 492 00:24:42,796 --> 00:24:44,501 Hey, I just need you to keep really still... 493 00:24:44,516 --> 00:24:46,128 - Here you are. - and keep breathing, OK? Thank you. 494 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:49,013 Mimi! Come on. Jazz, you're going to be fine, OK? 495 00:24:50,059 --> 00:24:51,612 Mimi, here. 496 00:24:51,737 --> 00:24:54,191 - She's fallen on glass. - Still can't get through, Sarge. 497 00:24:54,211 --> 00:24:56,945 - OK. What should I do? - Hold that. You know what to do. 498 00:24:57,155 --> 00:24:59,484 Yeah, ambulance. Two Lips Karaoke, 499 00:24:59,504 --> 00:25:02,284 - Salisbury, please. - Right, can everyone just get back, please? 500 00:25:04,539 --> 00:25:07,526 Hello? Yeah, vital signs, cause for concern, 501 00:25:07,545 --> 00:25:09,679 possible catastrophic internal bleeding... 502 00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:11,711 The ambulance is on its way, OK? 503 00:25:13,466 --> 00:25:15,145 Mimi, keep her talking. 504 00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:17,920 - Can everyone just get back, please? - Jazz, I need you to look at me for just a second. 505 00:25:17,944 --> 00:25:20,348 That's it! You're doing great, OK? 506 00:25:20,922 --> 00:25:23,450 Female, mid-twenties, 507 00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:26,175 - right, lower right abdomen... - Were you going to, um... 508 00:25:27,012 --> 00:25:29,402 - ... were you going to sing a song? - No. 509 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:30,837 No? 510 00:25:31,606 --> 00:25:33,774 I actually was going to sing a song. 511 00:25:34,226 --> 00:25:36,546 - Tell you what, I'll sing it for you now, shall I? - Yeah. 512 00:25:36,606 --> 00:25:41,120 ♪ Someone out there loves you ♪ 513 00:25:41,793 --> 00:25:45,981 ♪ Someone out there is lonely too... ♪ 514 00:25:46,622 --> 00:25:49,447 I cannot believe what I've just witnessed tonight. 515 00:25:49,472 --> 00:25:51,964 - Any word, boss? - Transfused and stabilised. 516 00:25:52,089 --> 00:25:54,540 - Sir. - Look. We might not be donning our uniforms 517 00:25:54,555 --> 00:25:57,144 but we're still soldiers, 24/7. 518 00:25:57,216 --> 00:25:59,612 We represent our country. We never forget that. 519 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,860 We avoid any hot spots 520 00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,357 and tactically withdraw from any potential contact. 521 00:26:05,368 --> 00:26:07,516 - Do you understand? - Sir. 522 00:26:08,428 --> 00:26:09,858 Clearly, you don't, Throbber. 523 00:26:10,555 --> 00:26:12,181 You put us all in danger. 524 00:26:13,206 --> 00:26:15,573 If you're that irresponsible having a quiet drink in town, 525 00:26:15,594 --> 00:26:17,328 how much of a liability are you going to be out in Afghan? 526 00:26:17,352 --> 00:26:18,771 Excuse me, sir... 527 00:26:18,782 --> 00:26:21,289 To be fair to the Throbber... the sort was coming on to him. 528 00:26:21,812 --> 00:26:23,693 He weren't doing too much wrong in my book. 529 00:26:23,718 --> 00:26:26,855 Maybe I shouldn't have given her the grind back. My bad, sir. 530 00:26:27,558 --> 00:26:29,009 Sorry, sir. 531 00:26:29,331 --> 00:26:30,679 It won't happen again. 532 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,125 Youthful exuberance... 533 00:26:32,135 --> 00:26:36,421 Youthful exuberance nearly ended up with a fatality. 534 00:26:46,879 --> 00:26:50,319 Start to be an asset to the platoon and not a liability... 535 00:26:50,945 --> 00:26:53,359 you weapons-grade flange flannel. 536 00:26:58,425 --> 00:27:00,734 - What's a flannel? - Word of advice... 537 00:27:01,062 --> 00:27:02,872 say nothing and go to bed. 538 00:27:12,613 --> 00:27:15,192 _ 539 00:27:15,233 --> 00:27:20,283 _ 540 00:28:01,542 --> 00:28:03,419 You all right? 541 00:28:05,579 --> 00:28:07,495 I thought she was dead, Sergeant. 542 00:28:07,514 --> 00:28:09,808 You got her to the ambulance alive. You did your job. 543 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,620 No, I don't think I would have done that on my own. 544 00:28:14,614 --> 00:28:17,405 - I shat myself. - We all shit ourselves. 545 00:28:18,026 --> 00:28:20,538 You think I don't shit myself every time I hear "man down"? 546 00:28:20,558 --> 00:28:22,384 I know, but there's shitting yourself and, 547 00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:24,782 you know, carrying on and there's shitting yourself and freezing. 548 00:28:24,806 --> 00:28:27,261 Mimi, you didn't freeze. You did it. 549 00:28:27,267 --> 00:28:29,068 YOU did it. 550 00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:33,765 Prof's shirt's fucked. 551 00:28:38,469 --> 00:28:40,520 Did you always fancy the army? 552 00:28:41,418 --> 00:28:44,884 I think my parents thought university would have been better... 553 00:28:45,009 --> 00:28:47,449 They must be proud of you now, though... passing out and that. 554 00:28:47,678 --> 00:28:50,011 Mmm. They've got my... 555 00:28:50,978 --> 00:28:54,888 ... they've got my passing out photo on the piano. 556 00:28:58,342 --> 00:29:02,520 I don't think I'm ready for this, Georgie! I don't think I'm... 557 00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:04,834 How do you know unless you try, Mimi? 558 00:29:06,603 --> 00:29:08,308 Because if I'm not good enough 559 00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:11,204 and I don't do my job properly and someone ends up 560 00:29:12,102 --> 00:29:15,050 - dying, then... - Sometimes you've just gotta step up 561 00:29:15,069 --> 00:29:16,812 to the plate and face your fear. 562 00:29:17,838 --> 00:29:19,415 We all have. 563 00:29:21,254 --> 00:29:23,253 Why aren't you coming to Afghan? 564 00:29:45,996 --> 00:29:48,105 Finished my CMT training. 565 00:29:48,586 --> 00:29:51,367 Manning Desk are happy for me to stick a three-month tour in 566 00:29:51,418 --> 00:29:52,770 before I have to return. 567 00:29:52,841 --> 00:29:54,847 If you still want me... 568 00:29:58,878 --> 00:30:01,499 Like you say, there's a lot of new faces that need bedding in. 569 00:30:01,909 --> 00:30:03,364 I knew you wouldn't leave me 570 00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:05,394 to handle this freaks' roll call on my own. 571 00:30:05,395 --> 00:30:08,227 - Bit rude to freaks. - But, 572 00:30:08,352 --> 00:30:12,194 I want to be sure you want this. I'd understand if you couldn't face... 573 00:30:16,077 --> 00:30:17,987 We're going back to Afghan. 574 00:30:18,545 --> 00:30:20,590 Do we ever really leave? 575 00:30:20,769 --> 00:30:22,419 Colour Sergeant King. 576 00:30:22,794 --> 00:30:25,332 My word is my bond! You sang, 577 00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:27,780 I promised I would not take this trumpet on tour. 578 00:30:30,663 --> 00:30:31,977 Fortunately, though, 579 00:30:32,259 --> 00:30:34,002 I have more than one. 580 00:30:36,123 --> 00:30:37,700 Doof-doof! 581 00:30:44,730 --> 00:30:46,179 Welcome, guys. 582 00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:48,503 I hope you've all had a chance to look at your various, 583 00:30:48,529 --> 00:30:50,157 optoural briefing booklets, 584 00:30:50,202 --> 00:30:53,226 ostensibly a training, mentoring and security tour. 585 00:30:53,265 --> 00:30:55,008 Sergeant Georgie Lane. 586 00:30:55,133 --> 00:30:57,035 There are agencies from all over the globe 587 00:30:57,050 --> 00:30:58,522 - here in Kabul... - Mimi Saunders. 588 00:30:58,542 --> 00:31:00,916 ... and our job is to make sure no harm befalls them. 589 00:31:00,952 --> 00:31:04,621 - Oliver Hurst. Second Lieutenant. - This is not a contact operation. 590 00:31:04,678 --> 00:31:05,801 Private Stille. 591 00:31:05,862 --> 00:31:07,954 Some of you will be working as Guardian Angels... 592 00:31:08,010 --> 00:31:09,455 Airwolf. 593 00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:12,321 ... others working at Sandhurst in The Sand 594 00:31:12,383 --> 00:31:14,899 with me and Second Lieutenant Hurst. 595 00:31:15,024 --> 00:31:16,770 - Lieutenant. - Thank you, sir. 596 00:31:17,283 --> 00:31:18,381 All right, guys, 597 00:31:18,401 --> 00:31:21,267 into your sections for transportation to the operating bases. 598 00:31:21,446 --> 00:31:22,585 Let's go. 599 00:31:27,388 --> 00:31:28,814 We're soldiers, man. 600 00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:31,260 We're trained for contact. No contact, no point. 601 00:31:31,285 --> 00:31:33,787 If there were contact, you'd soon shit yourself, bro. 602 00:31:52,642 --> 00:31:54,801 I wonder if that's... Chicken Street. 603 00:31:55,052 --> 00:31:57,935 Prof... do you just, like, know everything? 604 00:31:57,936 --> 00:31:59,711 Yo. He might as well have just said, 605 00:31:59,737 --> 00:32:02,044 "Oh, I wonder if that's WongaWonga Street?" 606 00:32:02,089 --> 00:32:04,985 - We wouldn't know. - I would not want to walk down here on a dark night. 607 00:32:05,001 --> 00:32:07,559 - That is for sure. - Worse than Aldershot, eh? 608 00:32:07,574 --> 00:32:10,194 This might be our only glimpse outside the barracks, Mimi. 609 00:32:11,398 --> 00:32:13,315 Right, guys. Focus in. 610 00:32:14,197 --> 00:32:16,594 When we get to the base, shower and scoff. 611 00:32:16,845 --> 00:32:19,449 We'll then have 48 hours acclimatisation 612 00:32:19,459 --> 00:32:22,449 before we undertake the RSOI package receipt... 613 00:32:35,095 --> 00:32:38,246 ... acclimatisation is a boring couple of days 614 00:32:38,261 --> 00:32:41,357 where you rest so you're properly ready for the tour ahead, 615 00:32:41,383 --> 00:32:43,085 which will be exacting. 616 00:32:43,413 --> 00:32:45,740 I'm looking to you guys not to let me down. 617 00:32:46,114 --> 00:32:47,513 Medic. 618 00:32:50,342 --> 00:32:51,896 You OK, Lane? 619 00:32:53,782 --> 00:32:55,058 Medic. 620 00:32:55,894 --> 00:32:58,001 I need you in for a medical check in the morning 621 00:32:58,017 --> 00:32:59,991 with myself and Private Saunders. 622 00:33:00,016 --> 00:33:01,682 We'll put a list up. OK? 623 00:33:02,775 --> 00:33:06,513 There will also be a voluntary PT session every day... 624 00:33:06,539 --> 00:33:10,879 which you will all attend, you fucking sad mongrels. 625 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,105 I thought we was supposed to be 626 00:33:12,110 --> 00:33:14,160 all touchy-feely in the army these days? 627 00:33:14,545 --> 00:33:16,396 The only thing that doesn't need exercising 628 00:33:16,432 --> 00:33:18,134 is your tongue, Throbber. 629 00:33:58,551 --> 00:34:00,147 Do we let them have real weapons? 630 00:34:00,186 --> 00:34:01,999 What are you talking about now, Throbber? 631 00:34:02,051 --> 00:34:05,095 - That's the Afghan army, mate. - That's a whole batch of new recruits. 632 00:34:05,396 --> 00:34:07,505 Look fit, healthy. 633 00:34:08,011 --> 00:34:09,594 They're ready for the task ahead. 634 00:34:09,607 --> 00:34:12,010 Yeah, sir, but what about all the green on blues? 635 00:34:12,030 --> 00:34:14,638 I'll tell you what'd stop that. Don't give them real guns. 636 00:34:14,651 --> 00:34:17,031 Right, and who do you think's out there contacting the enemy, Throbber? 637 00:34:17,042 --> 00:34:18,898 That's what I'm saying, yeah! It should be us 638 00:34:18,923 --> 00:34:21,804 out there engaging the enemy, not that rag-bag. 639 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,332 They're not a rag-bag, Throbber. 640 00:34:23,457 --> 00:34:25,535 I think it's a good thing, don't you, sir? 641 00:34:25,813 --> 00:34:27,849 Despite their horrific losses, 642 00:34:27,926 --> 00:34:30,642 - locals are still willing to sign up. - Yeah. 643 00:34:30,854 --> 00:34:32,257 There's a will. 644 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,120 - And where there's a will... there's a way. - Yeah, but, Kabul... 645 00:34:35,318 --> 00:34:36,789 It's a bit of a bubble, isn't it? 646 00:34:36,830 --> 00:34:38,758 Rome wasn't built in a day, Sergeant Lane. 647 00:34:38,883 --> 00:34:42,172 No, but it can be destroyed in one... 648 00:34:42,297 --> 00:34:43,899 ... and that's the problem. 649 00:34:54,856 --> 00:34:57,613 Come on. Please, please, please! 650 00:34:57,793 --> 00:35:00,526 - You all decent? - Wahey! 651 00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:02,664 You got wi-fi in the lumpy jumpers quarter? 652 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,172 Apparently, there's wi-fi at different spots around the base. 653 00:35:05,187 --> 00:35:07,176 Just want to let Marie know we're all right. 654 00:35:07,197 --> 00:35:09,596 First tour as a married man, Fingers. How are you feeling? 655 00:35:09,647 --> 00:35:11,288 Yo, I miss her, bro. 656 00:35:12,632 --> 00:35:14,318 How comes you ain't married, Prof? 657 00:35:14,443 --> 00:35:15,759 How come YOU ain't married? 658 00:35:15,810 --> 00:35:18,692 I've got too many. They all want a slice of the Throbber. 659 00:35:18,922 --> 00:35:21,399 I would rather a slice of pizza, to be honest. 660 00:35:22,235 --> 00:35:25,699 - How many tog do you think these are? - Come on, Prof. You was a teacher. 661 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:27,324 - They're all married. - Are they? 662 00:35:27,335 --> 00:35:29,251 Yeah. Every single last one of them, 663 00:35:29,292 --> 00:35:30,764 'cos they're all sad fuckers. 664 00:35:30,794 --> 00:35:32,097 I don't think all my teachers were married. 665 00:35:32,117 --> 00:35:34,568 - Did you used to be married, Prof? - What makes you think that? 666 00:35:34,578 --> 00:35:37,135 You look married. The glasses and that. 667 00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:40,551 My question is, was you married to a man or a woman? 668 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:43,522 - Here, knock it off, Throbber. - Yeah. Leave it, cowboy. 669 00:35:43,647 --> 00:35:45,906 I used to have a gay drama teacher 670 00:35:46,081 --> 00:35:47,885 and he was married to the postman! 671 00:35:48,010 --> 00:35:50,848 I mean, a drama teacher I can understand, 672 00:35:50,864 --> 00:35:52,689 - but a postie! - My Lord! 673 00:35:52,771 --> 00:35:55,227 I thought I was thick but you take the biscuit, bro. 674 00:35:55,252 --> 00:35:57,416 So, am I right, or am I right? 675 00:35:57,541 --> 00:36:01,026 I believe that you, Prof, were married to a fella. 676 00:36:02,256 --> 00:36:03,385 No. 677 00:36:03,510 --> 00:36:05,615 I was married to a woman. 678 00:36:05,958 --> 00:36:07,499 But I'm not married any more. 679 00:36:07,917 --> 00:36:09,143 I knew it! 680 00:36:10,265 --> 00:36:11,624 You satisfied? 681 00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:14,105 Oh. 682 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,772 - She didn't run away and leave you, did she? - Yeah. 683 00:36:19,145 --> 00:36:22,407 Yeah, if you must fucking know, she ran off with the Head of Geography. 684 00:36:27,065 --> 00:36:28,480 Head of Geography? 685 00:36:47,117 --> 00:36:49,276 So, here is the room... 686 00:36:49,599 --> 00:36:51,429 part of the medical facility, 687 00:36:51,439 --> 00:36:53,997 - so you are able to use... - So, we can commandeer it, yeah? 688 00:36:54,535 --> 00:36:57,027 Yeah, we need it for medical check-ups and assessments. 689 00:36:57,152 --> 00:36:58,754 Of course we'll get it cleaned. 690 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,743 _ 691 00:37:02,379 --> 00:37:05,179 - So you guys are at Sandhurst In The Sand? - Yes, Sergeant. 692 00:37:05,378 --> 00:37:08,060 - The elite of the elite. - I'm Rabee. 693 00:37:08,185 --> 00:37:09,931 - This is Poya. - Hi. 694 00:37:10,341 --> 00:37:12,576 So are you medics working with the doctors out here? 695 00:37:12,587 --> 00:37:13,971 We keep them alive. 696 00:37:14,140 --> 00:37:15,989 We go out with them as their security... 697 00:37:15,990 --> 00:37:18,897 - Whenever they have to go into the community. - Or at the hospital. 698 00:37:19,022 --> 00:37:21,122 People want to kill the doctors? 699 00:37:22,563 --> 00:37:24,337 The situation is improving, though? 700 00:37:24,368 --> 00:37:26,175 I mean, now that the war's ended? 701 00:37:26,829 --> 00:37:28,675 The war hasn't ended for us... 702 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,182 just for you. 703 00:37:35,180 --> 00:37:38,707 Hm. It's a great game but these pieces are a bit weird, 704 00:37:38,728 --> 00:37:41,306 so once you learn the moves, we can have a good game, 705 00:37:41,316 --> 00:37:42,506 - OK? - Right. So... 706 00:37:42,921 --> 00:37:45,612 The horse is the one that jumps over, yeah? 707 00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:48,498 Yeah. One up, three across. 708 00:37:49,678 --> 00:37:53,266 My dad was some sort of local champion when he was at school. 709 00:37:53,507 --> 00:37:55,542 What is wrong with you? You big gorilla! 710 00:37:56,224 --> 00:37:57,624 I'm not that good. 711 00:38:04,386 --> 00:38:07,419 - Have you acclimatised yet, Prof? - Oh, aye! 712 00:38:08,011 --> 00:38:09,295 What is that smell? 713 00:38:09,749 --> 00:38:11,935 That's Kahwa. Local green tea. 714 00:38:12,507 --> 00:38:14,645 Smells like my Doris's fake Jimmy Choos 715 00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:16,204 after she's worn them for a week. 716 00:38:16,219 --> 00:38:18,915 I think it smells quite nice, actually. 717 00:38:19,182 --> 00:38:20,192 Thank you. 718 00:38:20,484 --> 00:38:21,705 Do you know what? 719 00:38:21,874 --> 00:38:24,694 You're the first teacher that's ever been nice to me. 720 00:38:24,766 --> 00:38:26,211 I'm not a teacher. 721 00:38:26,631 --> 00:38:29,645 - I'm a soldier. - And History was always my favourite. 722 00:38:30,168 --> 00:38:32,973 Well, Afghanistan has an incredible history. 723 00:38:32,998 --> 00:38:35,731 Most of us couldn't even point to it on a map, mate. And we're in it. 724 00:38:35,803 --> 00:38:38,942 - I know I couldn't. - Why don't you give us a history lesson, Prof? 725 00:38:38,957 --> 00:38:40,757 Same reason I don't teach, 726 00:38:41,151 --> 00:38:42,738 because I don't want to stand up in front of a bunch 727 00:38:42,743 --> 00:38:44,230 of wazzocks like you lot. 728 00:38:45,378 --> 00:38:48,028 - Come on, Prof. - Yeah, we ain't a bunch of schoolkids... 729 00:38:48,854 --> 00:38:51,719 What's the fucking point of leaving a busted PlayStation? 730 00:38:53,196 --> 00:38:56,724 - ... Obviously apart from my man. - Of course, of course. 731 00:38:57,607 --> 00:38:59,678 Yeah, maybe you all do need a lesson. 732 00:39:00,153 --> 00:39:01,478 Wahey! 733 00:39:15,947 --> 00:39:17,802 You've got quite a full house, Prof. 734 00:39:17,927 --> 00:39:21,315 - I'm not sure why I agreed to do this. - I think it'll be great. 735 00:39:21,330 --> 00:39:22,658 I think you'll be great. 736 00:39:22,673 --> 00:39:25,119 Now I've got you, you ready? 737 00:39:25,299 --> 00:39:26,765 - Oh! - A bottle of water... 738 00:39:26,785 --> 00:39:27,816 Oh, thank you. 739 00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:30,941 - ... and I've done your shirt. - You kept it! 740 00:39:30,953 --> 00:39:32,975 I'd consigned this Paisley beaut to the bin. 741 00:39:33,006 --> 00:39:35,046 I'd forgotten I had it, so... 742 00:39:35,098 --> 00:39:37,259 I brought it back and... the blood came out. 743 00:39:37,528 --> 00:39:42,250 Well, I haven't seen it this well ironed since I liberated it from Topman. 744 00:39:42,860 --> 00:39:43,973 Good job. 745 00:39:45,180 --> 00:39:47,525 Prof. The natives are getting restless. 746 00:39:48,940 --> 00:39:50,494 Wish me luck. 747 00:39:59,897 --> 00:40:01,419 Good turnout, Mimi. 748 00:40:01,706 --> 00:40:04,076 I've been sent to round up any stragglers, 749 00:40:04,096 --> 00:40:05,424 but shall we just go in? 750 00:40:05,593 --> 00:40:07,998 No. We're going out. We're on a mission. 751 00:40:08,123 --> 00:40:09,828 What mission, Sergeant? 752 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:12,474 We've got a pass to meet the administrator 753 00:40:12,551 --> 00:40:14,842 and hopefully some of the doctors at the local hospital. 754 00:40:14,967 --> 00:40:16,682 There's an armoured vehicle waiting for us. 755 00:40:16,738 --> 00:40:18,281 What? We're going out of the base? 756 00:40:18,338 --> 00:40:21,804 - I need you in full combats. No risks taken. - OK. 757 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,648 So... 758 00:40:28,735 --> 00:40:31,386 it's the 1830s, right? 759 00:40:31,511 --> 00:40:33,755 And there was an empire to be proud of... 760 00:40:39,537 --> 00:40:41,378 And would you believe it, 761 00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:44,326 but the pesky Russians are kicking off. 762 00:40:47,284 --> 00:40:51,788 So us Brits... need to get the hell over from India to Kabul 763 00:40:51,803 --> 00:40:54,378 to sort these darn natives out... 764 00:40:56,132 --> 00:40:58,071 - He's a dark horse, ain't he? - We toppled the leader 765 00:40:58,095 --> 00:40:59,207 - Prof? - Yeah. 766 00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:01,893 - ... and put our own man at the top table... - Ready, guys? 767 00:41:01,946 --> 00:41:02,991 Let's move. 768 00:41:03,632 --> 00:41:05,179 ... Shujah Shah. 769 00:41:05,627 --> 00:41:07,416 - A bit like Monk. - What? 770 00:41:08,329 --> 00:41:09,734 Handsome and he knows it. 771 00:41:13,072 --> 00:41:16,083 The plan was to piss off, hotfoot back to India... 772 00:41:16,123 --> 00:41:20,145 but Shujah Shah was flaky and shaky, so... 773 00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:23,375 ... we stayed on to keep the situation under control. 774 00:41:23,661 --> 00:41:25,001 Big mistake. 775 00:41:25,020 --> 00:41:28,929 Like the Russians, they regarded us as another invading force, so 776 00:41:29,192 --> 00:41:32,749 these ingrate natives, they start giving it large 777 00:41:32,775 --> 00:41:34,895 and then, would you have it but the son 778 00:41:34,934 --> 00:41:38,555 of the toppled leader, Mohammed Akbah Khan, rocks up 779 00:41:38,606 --> 00:41:41,631 wanting bally power and for us to sling our hooks. 780 00:41:41,689 --> 00:41:45,392 So, in that time-honoured tradition, 781 00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:48,167 we decided on a tactical withdrawal. 782 00:41:48,292 --> 00:41:50,357 I wish your father had! 783 00:41:51,671 --> 00:41:53,825 - What? - I ain't here for fucking school! 784 00:41:53,850 --> 00:41:58,714 - It's a lorra shit-bollocks. - 16,000 people set out 785 00:41:58,784 --> 00:42:02,578 from Kabul to travel the 90 miles to Jalalabad. 786 00:42:04,084 --> 00:42:07,660 This was to be slaughter on an unprecedented scale. 787 00:42:10,325 --> 00:42:16,299 Generations of British blood has seeped into those mountains. 788 00:42:18,337 --> 00:42:21,746 On the 6th January 1842, 789 00:42:21,766 --> 00:42:24,578 the Kabul forces commenced their retreat 790 00:42:24,598 --> 00:42:28,533 through the dismal pass destined to be their grave. 791 00:42:33,385 --> 00:42:34,801 On the third day, 792 00:42:34,859 --> 00:42:38,295 they were attacked from all points by the mountaineers 793 00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:41,215 and a fearful slaughter ensued. 794 00:42:41,340 --> 00:42:43,077 - Fuck. - Shit! 795 00:42:43,108 --> 00:42:44,660 - Sorry! - What was the fuck was that, Kingy? 796 00:42:44,684 --> 00:42:47,199 Nothing's getting into this vehicle. 797 00:42:52,378 --> 00:42:55,464 The troops kept on, without food, 798 00:42:55,926 --> 00:42:58,709 mangled and cut to pieces, 799 00:42:58,755 --> 00:43:01,458 each one caring only for himself. 800 00:43:01,488 --> 00:43:03,533 All subordination had fled 801 00:43:03,779 --> 00:43:06,661 and the soldiers of the 44th English regiment, 802 00:43:06,691 --> 00:43:08,906 now known as the Royal Anglians, 803 00:43:08,916 --> 00:43:11,659 are reported to have knocked down their officers 804 00:43:11,660 --> 00:43:13,915 with the butts of their muskets. 805 00:43:15,397 --> 00:43:17,289 Absolute scenes... 806 00:43:17,894 --> 00:43:19,600 ... as you can imagine. 807 00:43:32,766 --> 00:43:34,919 On the 13th of January, 808 00:43:35,044 --> 00:43:38,609 just seven days after the retreat commenced, 809 00:43:38,686 --> 00:43:41,661 one man, bloody and torn, 810 00:43:41,707 --> 00:43:44,942 mounted on a miserable pony and pursued by horsemen, 811 00:43:44,962 --> 00:43:48,562 was seen riding furiously across the plains to Jalalabad. 812 00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:50,798 That was Dr Brydon, 813 00:43:51,921 --> 00:43:55,059 the sole person to tell the tale 814 00:43:55,674 --> 00:43:57,940 of the passage of Khord-Kabul. 815 00:44:00,406 --> 00:44:02,503 Location ahead, boss. 816 00:44:07,885 --> 00:44:09,900 You called home and spoke to your parents? 817 00:44:10,689 --> 00:44:12,848 Um, I'll call them at the weekend. 818 00:44:13,033 --> 00:44:14,704 I'm an independent woman now. 819 00:44:14,745 --> 00:44:17,790 Yeah, but you can still call... 820 00:44:17,803 --> 00:44:19,136 Fuck! 821 00:44:19,261 --> 00:44:20,756 Shit! 822 00:44:21,350 --> 00:44:22,750 Is everyone all right? 823 00:44:22,875 --> 00:44:24,308 We need to get out and help. 824 00:44:24,359 --> 00:44:26,102 Nobody's getting out. Understood? 825 00:44:26,174 --> 00:44:27,666 Call it in, boss. 826 00:44:29,014 --> 00:44:30,300 Boss! 827 00:44:31,797 --> 00:44:34,335 - Zero, this is spike two zero alpha... - Sure you're OK? 828 00:44:39,173 --> 00:44:40,655 Colour, 829 00:44:41,777 --> 00:44:43,423 the policeman wants us out to help. 830 00:44:43,767 --> 00:44:47,207 - Look, we stay put and await rescue. - We have to move out! 831 00:44:47,238 --> 00:44:50,330 - There could be a secondary. - All the other medical staff are risking it. 832 00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:52,299 - People need our help. - I say we move. 833 00:44:52,300 --> 00:44:53,995 There's children... It looks bad! 834 00:44:54,185 --> 00:44:55,954 You need to speak to the Brigadier 835 00:44:55,979 --> 00:44:58,640 - and await instructions! - Kingy, there are four medically trained 836 00:44:58,671 --> 00:45:00,860 - personnel in this car. - There could be a secondary! 837 00:45:00,896 --> 00:45:02,485 Just stay the fuck put! 838 00:45:03,495 --> 00:45:05,582 I don't need to speak to the Brigadier. 839 00:45:05,612 --> 00:45:08,928 - I'm the commanding officer here. - Have you all forgotten your training? 840 00:45:10,281 --> 00:45:11,851 Georgie! 841 00:45:22,823 --> 00:45:24,444 So, as you can hear, 842 00:45:25,470 --> 00:45:30,025 Afghanistan is a complicated beast. 843 00:45:32,624 --> 00:45:34,798 Get yourselves out! Release! 844 00:45:40,838 --> 00:45:42,658 Is everyone all right? 845 00:45:55,588 --> 00:45:57,039 - OK? - Yeah. 846 00:45:58,239 --> 00:45:59,854 OK, guys. Prepare to move! 847 00:46:07,826 --> 00:46:09,236 Georgie? 848 00:46:10,543 --> 00:46:12,152 Georgie. 849 00:46:13,362 --> 00:46:15,024 Georgie. 850 00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:18,854 Get... get... get your weapon. Grab your weapon. Come on. 851 00:46:19,039 --> 00:46:20,485 Let's go. 852 00:46:21,449 --> 00:46:22,710 - Is everyone all right? - Let's move. 853 00:46:22,726 --> 00:46:23,768 - You OK? - As quick as you can. 854 00:46:23,792 --> 00:46:25,177 - Are you OK? - Yeah, good. 855 00:46:25,192 --> 00:46:26,310 Good work, Saunders. 856 00:46:26,335 --> 00:46:28,216 Tourniquet and administer morphine, 857 00:46:28,217 --> 00:46:29,979 write on foreheads so the doctors know. 858 00:46:29,980 --> 00:46:31,324 Keep on looking at me, my love. 859 00:46:31,370 --> 00:46:33,590 - Keep looking at me. - Keep talking, Mimi. 860 00:46:33,715 --> 00:46:36,343 ... Looks so cute. Right, leg up for me? 861 00:46:36,468 --> 00:46:38,999 It is not worth it, mate. It is not worth it. 862 00:46:39,076 --> 00:46:41,424 OK. Now, we'll just put that there like this. 863 00:46:41,455 --> 00:46:42,767 Look at me. 864 00:46:42,792 --> 00:46:44,512 - I promise you, OK? - You're supposed to be getting the child 865 00:46:44,525 --> 00:46:46,984 into the hospital, not reading it a bedtime story! 866 00:46:47,004 --> 00:46:48,434 This is a hot zone, move yourself. 867 00:46:48,465 --> 00:46:50,351 The child would have bled out if it wasn't for her! 868 00:46:50,375 --> 00:46:52,425 Been here a day and already a goddamn expert. 869 00:46:52,550 --> 00:46:54,768 So fucking British. Let's move! 870 00:46:55,763 --> 00:46:57,664 Just focus on those with a pulse. 871 00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,627 I'll prepare the emergency room. 872 00:47:03,771 --> 00:47:05,073 As straight as you can. 873 00:47:05,099 --> 00:47:06,313 Is that your daughter? 874 00:47:06,513 --> 00:47:08,261 Keep that straight. 875 00:47:09,297 --> 00:47:10,859 Is that your daughter? 876 00:47:10,984 --> 00:47:12,281 Is that your daughter? She's OK. 877 00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:13,772 - She's all right. - What's happening, medic? 878 00:47:13,793 --> 00:47:16,736 Suspected hemothorax, erratic breathing, morphine administered. 879 00:47:19,961 --> 00:47:22,231 Sir, we need a bed out here, ASAP. 880 00:47:22,257 --> 00:47:23,544 She needs to get into hospital. 881 00:47:23,554 --> 00:47:25,881 Colour! We need a bed out here ASAP. 882 00:47:26,716 --> 00:47:28,259 I'm on you, then. 883 00:47:32,868 --> 00:47:34,688 Doctor! I need a doctor! 884 00:47:34,703 --> 00:47:36,775 Let's move her along to this cubicle. 885 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,810 - All right, talk to me. - She's in cardiac arrest. 886 00:47:40,851 --> 00:47:44,322 Suspected hemothorax and I've given here 10 milligrams of morphine. 887 00:47:44,619 --> 00:47:47,634 OK, let's get a blood pressure cuff on her, please, and an IV. 888 00:47:50,085 --> 00:47:51,449 Come on. 889 00:47:56,674 --> 00:47:58,345 Pass me the paddles. 890 00:48:00,514 --> 00:48:01,965 Come on! Let's go, let's go, let's go. 891 00:48:03,420 --> 00:48:05,055 OK, charging... 892 00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:06,935 Everybody clear. 893 00:48:16,136 --> 00:48:17,628 Come on. 894 00:48:25,759 --> 00:48:27,804 All right, guys. I'm sorry. I've got to call this. 895 00:48:27,929 --> 00:48:29,414 Time of death... 896 00:48:29,481 --> 00:48:32,316 - 17:29. - Whoa, whoa. Should I try and... ? 897 00:48:32,441 --> 00:48:35,064 There's just too many other people that need our help right now. 898 00:48:48,495 --> 00:48:50,739 Were you the guys coming to see me from the British Army? 899 00:48:50,740 --> 00:48:53,415 Yeah, we're meeting the hospital administrator 900 00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:56,629 - about the vaccination programme. - Oh, that's me. Hospital administrator 901 00:48:56,660 --> 00:48:58,500 and doctor when needs must. 902 00:48:58,580 --> 00:49:01,066 Unfortunately, needs must a lot in my country. 903 00:49:01,457 --> 00:49:04,534 We have plenty for you to get on with here if you can stay and help. 904 00:49:09,545 --> 00:49:11,175 So where do we think this is? 905 00:49:11,222 --> 00:49:13,322 - Woodstock? - Woodstock? No. 906 00:49:13,911 --> 00:49:16,054 Isle of Wight rock festival? No. 907 00:49:16,179 --> 00:49:18,084 Some hippie trail somewhere... ? 908 00:49:18,668 --> 00:49:20,375 No, no. This, 909 00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:21,819 this is Kabul. 910 00:49:22,303 --> 00:49:26,005 God's own Afghanistan in 1969. 911 00:49:27,112 --> 00:49:30,680 And this hot chick here... 912 00:49:32,428 --> 00:49:33,817 ... is my grandmother. 913 00:49:33,848 --> 00:49:35,259 No way! 914 00:49:35,612 --> 00:49:37,319 And this... 915 00:49:38,068 --> 00:49:39,729 ... this bump here... 916 00:49:39,749 --> 00:49:41,590 is my mother, 917 00:49:42,984 --> 00:49:45,619 conceived in Afghan 918 00:49:46,783 --> 00:49:51,638 and just waiting to make her entrance into the world. 919 00:49:52,304 --> 00:49:55,236 Right, you wazzocks, that's class dismissed! 920 00:50:02,015 --> 00:50:04,481 Scrub yourselves up and get some food. 921 00:50:05,352 --> 00:50:08,772 I'd appreciate if you could do your After Action Reports this evening. 922 00:50:08,838 --> 00:50:11,705 - Sir. - You had the ECM in the vehicle, Mr Hurst? 923 00:50:11,715 --> 00:50:12,899 Yes, sir. 924 00:50:13,417 --> 00:50:15,252 Though local forces 925 00:50:15,377 --> 00:50:19,191 seemed to think the secondary device wasn't detonated by mobile. 926 00:50:21,616 --> 00:50:23,600 There was an Afghan Police Officer, sir, 927 00:50:23,615 --> 00:50:25,994 - trying to call us out of the vehicle... - Local forces intel 928 00:50:26,010 --> 00:50:27,659 indicating he had a vest... 929 00:50:27,886 --> 00:50:29,347 ... self-detonated, sir. 930 00:50:29,414 --> 00:50:33,116 You knew to remain in the vehicle until instructed to do otherwise? 931 00:50:34,310 --> 00:50:35,540 Indeed, sir. 932 00:50:46,527 --> 00:50:48,049 Colour... 933 00:50:50,218 --> 00:50:51,756 Thank you for not, 934 00:50:53,095 --> 00:50:55,017 you know, in there. 935 00:50:57,683 --> 00:50:58,939 You're the boss. 936 00:51:48,236 --> 00:51:49,815 You OK, Saunders? 937 00:51:50,892 --> 00:51:52,348 Yes, Sarge... 938 00:51:59,249 --> 00:52:01,305 Sorry, Sarge. I'm... 939 00:52:02,679 --> 00:52:04,598 think I'm just a bit knackered. 940 00:52:06,141 --> 00:52:08,089 It takes it out of you, doesn't it? 941 00:52:08,484 --> 00:52:09,868 Yeah. 942 00:52:12,088 --> 00:52:13,554 It's just like... 943 00:52:14,456 --> 00:52:15,699 so... 944 00:52:16,220 --> 00:52:18,271 ... matter of fact over here. 945 00:52:20,296 --> 00:52:21,980 Did you see all that blood on the ground? 946 00:52:24,290 --> 00:52:25,757 Have you called your parents? 947 00:52:26,357 --> 00:52:27,735 And say what? 948 00:52:28,417 --> 00:52:30,323 I mean, how am I meant to explain today to them? 949 00:52:30,349 --> 00:52:31,749 It'd just freak them out. 950 00:52:33,379 --> 00:52:35,543 You don't need to say anything. 951 00:52:36,051 --> 00:52:37,455 I don't. 952 00:52:38,881 --> 00:52:40,779 It's just nice to hear their voices, you know. 953 00:52:41,295 --> 00:52:43,305 And I bet they want to hear yours. 954 00:52:48,217 --> 00:52:49,489 Right, I'll call them. 955 00:52:49,740 --> 00:52:50,878 Promise. 956 00:52:51,539 --> 00:52:52,780 OK. 957 00:52:54,169 --> 00:52:55,594 Well done for today. 958 00:52:59,578 --> 00:53:01,499 Right, I'm going down for some scoff. 959 00:53:01,993 --> 00:53:05,074 OK. Well, I'll tell you what. I'll call them now and then 960 00:53:05,254 --> 00:53:07,038 I'll join you, if you don't mind. 961 00:53:07,163 --> 00:53:08,202 OK. 962 00:53:41,429 --> 00:53:42,909 Oh, here he is! 963 00:53:42,980 --> 00:53:44,859 Professor Stumble. 964 00:53:45,279 --> 00:53:47,615 So you're an Afghan, then, basically, Prof. 965 00:53:47,648 --> 00:53:49,579 How d'you work that one out, you big melon? 966 00:53:49,580 --> 00:53:52,058 All that stuff about you and your mum in Kabul. 967 00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:53,883 So if your nan went on holiday to Scotland, 968 00:53:53,904 --> 00:53:56,123 - that'd make you a jock, right? - I ain't a jock! 969 00:53:56,164 --> 00:53:58,255 No, you're worse than that. You're a brummie! 970 00:53:58,286 --> 00:54:00,639 I ain't a brummie either! I'm from Wolves! 971 00:54:00,670 --> 00:54:02,198 And you, you're a pile of sticks! 972 00:54:02,208 --> 00:54:03,782 Wouldn't last five minutes in Wolves. 973 00:54:03,793 --> 00:54:05,575 You ever been Manchester, bro? 974 00:54:06,459 --> 00:54:07,705 Wolves... 975 00:54:08,018 --> 00:54:10,719 - Manchester... - Shut up, you knob. 976 00:54:12,398 --> 00:54:14,737 - You all right, Sarge? - All right. 977 00:54:14,862 --> 00:54:16,284 Thank God you're all right! 978 00:54:16,325 --> 00:54:18,208 - Of course I am. - Wouldn't want to have to ring the wife 979 00:54:18,232 --> 00:54:20,513 - and tell her something had happened, would I? - Shut it. 980 00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,713 What were you saying about Manchester, you? 981 00:54:36,894 --> 00:54:38,012 What's happened? 982 00:54:38,038 --> 00:54:40,981 We just had an Intelligence briefing with Afghan Special Forces. 983 00:54:41,027 --> 00:54:43,241 Seems like the Taliban are targeting the hospital... 984 00:54:43,277 --> 00:54:44,518 And Dr Bahil. 985 00:54:44,538 --> 00:54:47,205 - Why? - She's standing in the elections. 986 00:54:47,330 --> 00:54:50,050 Her husband was killed last year. She's taking his place. 987 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:52,818 They think it was the local warlord. 988 00:54:52,875 --> 00:54:54,259 Aatan Omar. 989 00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:56,362 This guy's our Ace of Hearts. 990 00:54:56,813 --> 00:54:59,130 He's responsible for most of the carnage in Kabul. 991 00:54:59,632 --> 00:55:02,278 He's been MI6's most wanted since 2012, 992 00:55:02,503 --> 00:55:06,389 when he blew up a UN convoy carrying medical supplies to Kandahar. 993 00:55:07,379 --> 00:55:08,604 Oh, my God. 994 00:55:08,656 --> 00:55:12,792 He was behind the Special Forces fatality in Kabul, sir. 995 00:55:12,818 --> 00:55:14,020 Elvis Harte? 996 00:55:18,267 --> 00:55:19,559 Yeah. 997 00:55:20,652 --> 00:55:22,513 We were on that mission, boss. 998 00:55:30,696 --> 00:55:31,885 Where's everyone? 999 00:55:33,151 --> 00:55:34,547 He says Omar's not here! 1000 00:55:34,608 --> 00:55:36,539 We are approximately nine fatalities. 1001 00:55:36,614 --> 00:55:38,265 Urgent evacuation required. 1002 00:55:42,054 --> 00:55:44,340 Suspected IED on the rooftop. 1003 00:55:48,842 --> 00:55:50,739 Elvis! 1004 00:55:51,349 --> 00:55:52,917 Elvis! 1005 00:56:25,508 --> 00:56:28,021 Double AP suicide bomb blast 1006 00:56:28,146 --> 00:56:29,851 outside the Kabul hospital. 1007 00:56:29,877 --> 00:56:32,578 Organised by local warlord Aatan Omar. 1008 00:56:32,703 --> 00:56:34,563 We need to be the ones out there protecting her, 1009 00:56:34,568 --> 00:56:36,567 not leaving it to the Afghan police. 1010 00:56:39,453 --> 00:56:42,370 If you're supposed to be helping, leave me to deal with the situation. 1011 00:56:42,396 --> 00:56:43,637 They think we're poisoning them. 1012 00:56:43,652 --> 00:56:45,431 This is all about Dr Bahil, is it? 1013 00:56:45,502 --> 00:56:47,579 Nothing to do with Omar and Captain Harte? 1014 00:56:47,660 --> 00:56:50,156 Our primary mission is to keep Dr Bahil safe. 1015 00:56:50,208 --> 00:56:53,201 Keep moving. Stay in the vehicle. 1016 00:56:57,539 --> 00:57:00,535 Monk, Kingy! On me! On me! 1017 00:57:01,789 --> 00:57:05,538 - Coming through! Coming through! - We're being ambushed. Move! Move! 1018 00:57:05,543 --> 00:57:07,824 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 77630

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