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1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,428
(sighs)
Summer.
2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,593
It's what America does best.
3
00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,683
Heck, we were born
in the summer.
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:08,800
(gasping)
5
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,139
Oh, my goodness.
6
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,102
Will you look at this outdoor
sofa and coffee table?
7
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,395
Wow.
8
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,395
See, the trend today is
to make your outdoor space
9
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,897
feel less backyard-y
and more living room-y.
10
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,149
Come on, Hank.
11
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,400
Sit with me.
12
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,821
Dream with me.
13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,912
Well, I'm a guy who can sit
on just about anything,
14
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:32,204
but this furniture
is gotdang lovely.
15
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,917
Let's buy it.
All of it.
16
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,786
What? Well, I...
17
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,629
I...
This is all happening so fast.
18
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,544
I don't...
Don't fight it.
19
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,760
I need new pots for the summer.
20
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:51,101
I'm planting hibiscus to attract
hummingbirds, bees,
21
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,686
anything, really.
22
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:53,804
I'm thinking,
"new hammock."
23
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,599
For me, laying and
swaying in a hammock
24
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,726
is like a steady morphine drip
25
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,353
without the risk
of renal failure.
26
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,525
(gasping)
27
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,898
Is that what I think it is?
28
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,275
Sancta Madre de Dios!
29
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:10,576
Hank!
Hank!
30
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,123
It's beautiful.
31
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,915
(sighing)
32
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:22,087
This will, no doubt, be the
best summer of our entire lives.
33
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,504
Yep.
Yep.
34
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,968
Well, I tell you what, man,
35
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,839
I'd love to just chill back and
dang ol' grill and chill, man,
36
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,053
but I'm gonna head up
to Canada this summer, man.
37
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,300
Canada?
38
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,770
A man only has
so many summers, Boomhauer.
39
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,889
Why would you waste yours
in a country
40
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,856
that's dismantling its Navy?
41
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,895
Talking about house-swapping
with an ol' Canadian family,
42
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,315
for, um, eh?
43
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,780
House-swap?
44
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,194
There's going to be Canadians
living here,
45
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,659
walking around, touching things
46
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,574
for three whole months?
47
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,289
You're going to be gone
for an absurd amount of time.
48
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,330
What if we all make new friends
or get remarried?
49
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,463
It could happen.
50
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,378
Love is funny.
51
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,256
Have fun.
52
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,300
Hope you got your shots.
53
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,300
Boomhauer, don't you dare
come back a hockey fan.
54
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,803
Well, man, you know I got to do
what I dang old got to do, man.
55
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,900
(sobbing)
56
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,369
Miss him.
Miss him.
57
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:41,000
Ripped By mstoll
58
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,527
Yep.
59
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,863
Yup.
60
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,401
Yep.
61
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,652
Look, I know
we all miss Boomhauer,
62
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,905
but he wouldn't want us
crying in our beer.
63
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:16,871
It looks like
64
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,327
the Canadians are here.
65
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,371
Boo!
66
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,914
Now, be polite, Dale.
67
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,412
We're Americans.
68
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,665
We're the world's welcome mat.
69
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,213
It doesn't matter
if they're from Canada, Laos,
70
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,085
or, God forbid, California.
71
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,759
Right now,
they're from Rainey Street,
72
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,427
and it's our patriotic duty
73
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,892
to show them what good neighbors
are all about.
74
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,136
Fine.
Whatever.
75
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,694
Holy jeez!
76
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,905
This looks like one
of those spicy motels.
77
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,773
Well, we wanted
something different
78
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,865
than the lake this year.
79
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:53,905
I think we got 'er.
80
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,277
(chuckling)
Oh, dear.
81
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,904
I'm just going to slip
this young lady
82
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,405
behind the Chesterfield.
83
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,577
(knocking)
84
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:03,831
Hello and welcome
to the United States.
85
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,829
Peggy Hill, at your service.
86
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,297
Hank Hill. Good to meet you.
87
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,917
Gordon Huskins.
It's a pleasure.
88
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,088
Oh, sorry.
89
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,303
This is my wife Maureen
and our son Ollie.
90
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,638
How tall are you?
91
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:15,881
Four foot eleven.
92
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,680
Oh. Right on.
That's 150 centimeters.
93
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,178
Hey, I sound tall in Canada.
94
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,556
I wonder
if I'm thinner there, too.
95
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,523
Keep talking.
96
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,520
That's a good-looking T-shirt
you got there, Gordon.
97
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,816
You in the mower business?
98
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,322
Oh, I wish.
99
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:33,907
But I've got a thing
for McCullum mowers.
100
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:37,324
Canadian outfit.
Ride high. Ride strong.
101
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,536
Ride McCullum.
102
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,202
Now, that's a slogan.
103
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,542
Maureen, this is for you.
104
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:47,879
And join me, won't you,
on a 50-state tour of America?
105
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,044
Here's Texas barbecue sauce,
106
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,758
Washington apples,
107
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,923
Vermont maple syrup.
108
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,342
Oh, that's so nice.
109
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,217
But we always travel
with our own pure maple syrup.
110
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,809
It's like they say.
111
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,895
"You don't want to drink the
water in every country." Eh?
112
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,435
(chuckling)
113
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,398
Uh-huh.
114
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,610
I am telling you, Hank,
115
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,446
those Canadians are not
who they pretend to be.
116
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:17,363
That woman insulted me and every
maple tree in Vermont today.
117
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:20,533
Peggy, they're probably not used
to dealing with neighbors.
118
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,247
Canada is vast.
119
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,913
They might go months
without seeing another person.
120
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,331
Oh, Hank. You're
just easily enchanted
121
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,295
by anyone in lawnmower apparel.
122
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:32,917
That's why I wore my John Deere
beefy-T on our first date.
123
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,918
No, I'm a good neighbor.
That's all.
124
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,636
I can handle this.
125
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,130
Remember when that old widow
couldn't take care
126
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,881
of her yard anymore?
127
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,804
Who forced her to move?
128
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,848
I did.
129
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,689
(knocking)
130
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,898
(with French accent):
Hello. My name is Suzette.
131
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:56,819
I live next door.
132
00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:59,326
Yeah, man, dang of bonjour, man.
133
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,366
Here. I brought you some
coffee crisps, huh?
134
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,831
Huh. We need to properly
position the kegerator.
135
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,204
Some place where I can keep
one eye on the grill
136
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,750
and one eye on the game.
137
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,124
I might need to lay down
some chalk lines
138
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,923
to make sure I get
the angles right.
139
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,340
Eh! How's it going, everybody?
140
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,213
Maureen made a nice tray
of her brownies, eh?
141
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,840
So, what do you say?
Let's get at 'er!
142
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,429
Well, thanks, Gordon.
143
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,395
Hey, we're going to watch
Super Bowl XIII later.
144
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,639
The Broncos' "orange crush"
145
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,891
versus the Cowboys'
"doomsday defense."
146
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,892
Want to pull up a chair?
147
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,360
Oh, thanks, but you know,
148
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,900
I prefer the fast-paced
Canadian three-down system.
149
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,900
I mean, American football
is a real snoozer, huh?
150
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,901
Enjoy your nap, though, eh?
151
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,824
(chuckling)
152
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:46,707
I'd like to put that chuckle
of his in a sandwich
153
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,120
and make him eat it.
154
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,413
He's okay, Dale.
155
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,458
That must be how they
trash-talk in Canada.
156
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,127
With little chuckles.
157
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,170
Tell you what.
Peggy's dying to throw a party
158
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,089
to break in
our new patio furniture.
159
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,256
I'll invite the Canadians.
160
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,755
You'll see.
They're regular folks.
161
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,847
But enough of that.
162
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:06,852
We need to build a bar worthy
of housing our kegerator.
163
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,365
With this sophisticated
new furniture,
164
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:24,112
I feel like we should be talking
about art or-or politics
165
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,908
or-or this new furniture.
166
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,702
I'm confused, Aunt Peggy.
167
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:32,168
I feel like we're inside, but
I'm pretty sure we're outside.
168
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,833
Thank you, Luanne.
169
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,338
Yeah, it's a lovely
outdoor couch,
170
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,298
but I'm starting
to get a little rash.
171
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,840
Probably all the petrochemicals
in the synthetic fabric.
172
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,596
(chuckling)
173
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,761
Looks like everyone else
is doing fine.
174
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,555
It might be that
your skin isn't used to
175
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,393
warm sunlight and friendship.
176
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,683
You might be right.
177
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,807
Because these bugs don't seem
to hate it, either.
178
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,105
Ooh, all right! It's going
to be that kind of party.
179
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,903
Gentlemen, I know you've all
been waiting patiently
180
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:06,369
and now, to commemorate our
first draft beer of the summer,
181
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:11,663
I present to you your very own
personalized frosty beer mugs.
182
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,830
Grab one.
183
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,918
These will be kept here for you,
always chilled, always ready.
184
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:20,133
Uh, wow.
185
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,753
Gordon, I'd be honored
if you'd use Boomhauer's.
186
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,554
Cheers, everybody!
187
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,891
? Now that we're here ?
188
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,890
? It's time for a beer ?
189
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,859
? What could be more apropos ?
190
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,897
? Alamo, Alamo ?
191
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,739
? My one true amigo ?
192
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,904
? A...
GORDON: Ugh!
193
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,903
Well, I guess it's a fine beer,
194
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,904
you know, if you're not
into flavor, but you love
195
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,781
going to the washroom all night.
(chuckling)
196
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,868
Oh, sorry.
197
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,371
Maureen's giving me
our secret signal to leave.
198
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,260
Good to meet all you.
199
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,180
(party music playing)
200
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,178
This mug is Boomhauer.
201
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,647
Gordon left him for dead
in those geraniums.
202
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,890
If you ask me,
203
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,894
I think America's building
a wall on the wrong border.
204
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,363
This can't be right.
Nobody's that rude.
205
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:27,700
There has to be some kind
of cultural misunderstanding.
206
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:30,320
(siren chirping)
207
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,830
(stereo clicks off)
208
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,708
Uh, how can I help you, officer?
209
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,702
This your house?
Yes, sir.
210
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:38,874
We received a noise complaint.
211
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,712
Noise complaint?
Nobody's making any noise here.
212
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:43,924
I get so angry
213
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,511
when people aren't respectful
of their neighbors.
214
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,096
Did you ever stop to think
215
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,716
that maybe there's
a bigger world out there
216
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,888
than what's happening
right here?
217
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,557
Here's a warning.
218
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,896
You don't want to see me again.
219
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,357
Wait. Which neighbors
would call the cops?
220
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,521
Everybody's here.
221
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,985
Except the Canadians.
222
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:14,239
I can't believe Gordon
called the cops on us.
223
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:17,539
He's going to be sorry
when he sees me today.
224
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,832
It's about time
you woke up, Hank.
225
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,922
Anger is more fun when shared.
226
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,883
Mom, can I have another
half liter of OJ, please?
227
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:25,921
What?
228
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,887
Bobby, we speak English
in this house.
229
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:32,803
But, Dad, Canada's metric system
makes so much more sense.
230
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,889
A yard, a foot, an ounce...
231
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,386
That's so random.
232
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,640
Why not measure things
in squirts and dog's tails?
233
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,641
(sighing):
All right. That's it.
234
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,565
No more Ollie.
No more metric talk.
235
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,188
This is America, dang it.
236
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,439
We know what we're doing.
237
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,657
I got to go straighten this out.
238
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,618
Hey there, Hank.
239
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,157
Can I make you up
a rye and ginger?
240
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,532
Nothing says summer
like an R & G.
241
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:59,501
No. I want to talk
about last night, Gordon.
242
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,792
Oh, yeah, what a nice party,
eh, Maureen?
243
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:03,879
Super nice, Gord.
244
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,499
(sighs)
245
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,921
You know, in America, it's okay
to call or just knock
246
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,340
on your neighbor's door
if there's a problem.
247
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,963
You don't need to call the cops.
248
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,715
Oh, sorry about that.
249
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,763
We're not familiar
with your local customs.
250
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,886
You know, Hank,
you really ought to think
251
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,888
about getting a McCullum mower.
252
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:20,889
(whispers):
Quiet as a casket!
253
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,607
And it won't damage
your grass blades.
254
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,727
That's what's making your lawn
look so brown.
255
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,898
(chuckles)
256
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,738
You talking about
my grass blades, Canada?
257
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,700
(chuckles) You know, maybe I'll
stop by that new McCullum dealer
258
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,571
later on, see if they'll let me
test out a new model.
259
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,368
Give Boomhauer a proper mow
while we're here.
260
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,913
I told Boomhauer I'd take care
of his yard while he's away.
261
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,788
Oh, yeah? Well, if you think
you have the right to his land,
262
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,288
who am I to get in your way?
263
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,588
Okay, fine.
264
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,881
Real good, then.
265
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,773
(laughs)
266
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,397
Oh, man, dang ol' ooh-la-la,
man, ol'...
267
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,398
(country rock playing)
268
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:16,653
You know, before this,
I always drank out of a can.
269
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,906
I never knew beer was yellow.
270
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,328
(sighs)
That Gordon Huskins.
271
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,827
All he talks about
is how great Canada is
272
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,373
and what's wrong with America.
273
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,123
I dodged bullets in the killing
fields for two extra years
274
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,375
instead of going to Canada.
275
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,628
(phone rings)
276
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:35,130
Outside the Hill residence,
Peggy speaking.
277
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:38,053
Oh, yes, Gordon. Oh, of course.
278
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,141
Well, thank you.
279
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,259
You bet.
280
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,434
Uh-huh, okay,
I'm hanging up now.
281
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,056
Hank, that was Gordon.
282
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,854
They're whining about the music
283
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,772
being too loud.
They're reading.
284
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,147
Dang it, that man is
not ruining my summer.
285
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,490
If I want to get rid
of those Canadians,
286
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,904
I'm gonna have to do something
287
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,197
I've never done before:
288
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,867
be a bad neighbor.
289
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:00,863
(turns up music)
290
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,991
Go ahead, fellas, live it up!
291
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,419
Yeah!
Oh, yeah!
292
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,876
(loud country rock playing)
293
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,474
(all cheer)
294
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,900
(hoarsely): Oh, can we
please stop this, Hank?
295
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,400
I can actually feel my liver
through my shirt.
296
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,870
We can't let up.
This is for America!
297
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,538
GORDON:
All right, you turkeys,
298
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,207
I got a two-four
of Slewback's.
299
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,921
You want to throw down?!
Let's throw down!
300
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,586
Have a seat.
301
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,849
Ah, now, this is a beer.
302
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,888
Why can't America make
a decent ale?
303
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:06,434
Probably because we're too busy
making medical breakthroughs
304
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,808
and blockbuster movies
and going to the moon!
305
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,902
Yeah, well, we invented
zippers, penicillin
306
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,237
and the Zamboni!
307
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,902
I love Canada's national anthem.
308
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,866
Too bad they don't play it
much at the Olympics!
309
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,824
And your money has a girl on it!
310
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:22,911
You Americans,
311
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,532
you're so gosh-darn ignorant
and self-centered.
312
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,408
Tell me who
our prime minister is.
313
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,751
Why?
314
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,745
Bottom line, Gordon:
315
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,918
my Mason could kick
your McCullum's ass.
316
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,918
Oh! Oh!
That does it, eh?!
317
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,919
Yay!
Yeah!
318
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,136
That'll learn him.
319
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,345
Don't mess with Texas!
320
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,885
(lawnmower revving)
321
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,849
What the heck?!
322
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,307
(all gasp)
323
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:53,234
He's mowing Boomhauer's lawn
with a Canadian mower!
324
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:57,072
Not if I have anything
to say about it!
325
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,823
(all chanting):
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
326
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:03,911
(all cheering)
327
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,905
BILL: Look, he's ready to turn!
328
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,158
KAHN:
Take that, Canada!
329
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,911
PEGGY:
Ho, yeah!
330
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,163
Way to be, Hank!
331
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:19,590
Hank! That crazy Canuck
is mowing your yard!
332
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,845
Bwah!
333
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,271
(engines revving)
334
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,357
(both yell)
335
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,855
(siren whoops)
336
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,449
Oh, God.
337
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,910
.085
338
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:47,075
That's a D-W-I for Y-O-U.
339
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,665
.09
340
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,534
Huh. You win, Canada.
341
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,514
Are you da toof fairy?
342
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,600
Give me a dollar!
343
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:08,639
(laughs)
344
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,807
Hank Hill, you're free to go.
345
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,352
Son! Welcome
to the club!
346
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,849
Come on now.
Give me a hug!
347
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,268
Thanks, Mr. Strickland.
348
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,314
Who's this?
349
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,653
J.J. Womack.
350
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,817
I'm your best friend
in the world right now.
351
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,153
Old J.J.'s
gotten me off the hook
352
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,901
more times than I can count.
353
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,154
Don't know how he does it
and don't ask.
354
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:27,870
What about me?
355
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,451
You're a foreign national
356
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,199
who committed
a criminal offense.
357
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:34,578
May God have mercy on your soul.
358
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,920
Hank, you gotta help me!
359
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,835
Oh, you mean, bail you
out of trouble?
360
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,718
How terribly American
that would be of me, eh?
361
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,808
(singing gibberish)
362
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,176
? Diggle-diggle-do! ?
363
00:16:55,556 --> 00:17:01,029
(Speaking French)
364
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,628
They say jail can
make a man hard,
365
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,463
but you look okay, Hank.
366
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,924
Maybe a little harder,
but not much.
367
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,635
Well, the DWI still goes
on my record,
368
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,880
but thanks to Buck's lawyer,
I won't lose my license.
369
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,883
But I have to go talk
to some high school kids
370
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,884
about drinking and driving
371
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,262
and look at some dead bodies
at the morgue
372
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:37,061
and stay off my lawnmower
for six months.
373
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,229
Six months with a push mower?
374
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,852
That's hard time, my friend.
375
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,895
But still, it's kind of sad
376
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,647
that Gordon is stuck
in prison indefinitely.
377
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:48,242
Yeah, kind of feel bad
for the guy, too.
378
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,326
But come on.
379
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,820
It's not like
he'll be tortured...
380
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:51,863
officially.
381
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,873
Hey, good news, everyone.
382
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,082
Gordon got another death threat.
383
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,419
But it's okay, they moved
him to a single cell
384
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,914
with a roommate who,
they tell me, has his back.
385
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,881
(car approaches)
386
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,883
BILL:
Boomhauer!
387
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:08,879
There he is!
388
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,880
Hey, there!
389
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,052
Hello, Jeff.
390
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,642
Oh, my, it's the 15th already?
391
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,228
Would you mind if we stayed
a little longer?
392
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,723
Gordon's in a bit
of a legal spot.
393
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,691
Man, I'm kind of coming back
394
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,651
to my dang ol' love nest, man.
395
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,613
Suzette?!
What are you doing here?!
396
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,324
What about Jean Paul?
397
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,909
Jean Paul?
I hope he stay
398
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,618
in that aluminum
mine forever, uh?
399
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,158
I finished with that guy.
400
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,202
C'est ca, c'est tout.
That's it! That's all!
401
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,750
I see.
402
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,665
Well, yes, of course,
we'll be out right away.
403
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,038
Ollie and I will just sleep
in the rental car.
404
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:47,085
"Give me your tired, your poor,
405
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,883
"your huddled masses,"
et cetera...
406
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,382
Maureen, Ollie,
you can stay with us.
407
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,974
What are neighbors for?
408
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,269
Are you sure you don't want
to stay inside?
409
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,517
Oh, absolutely not.
We don't want to be
410
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,814
any more of an imposition
than we already are.
411
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,609
And frankly,
I feel like we are inside.
412
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,902
That's very kind.
413
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,366
What about the chemicals?
414
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:13,157
I may have imagined
those chemicals.
415
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,826
I imagine you're right.
416
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,495
It's hard to enjoy a cold beer
417
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,165
while others in the world don't
have a roof over their heads.
418
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,881
Hard, yes. Impossible, no.
419
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:34,887
(sighs) You know, Canadians
might be sanctimonious
420
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,431
and bland, but America has been
421
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,600
protecting Canada ever
since England stopped.
422
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,519
Who's there when tyranny strikes
423
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,189
or when earthquakes hit
or tsunamis roll?
424
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,527
We are.
425
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,647
Fellas, we've got a neighbor
in trouble,
426
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,865
and it's time we did something
about it.
427
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,620
I'm not gonna pretend
I feel sorry
428
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,910
for your Canadian friend
because I don't.
429
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,580
But I could take pity
if the price was right.
430
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,748
We're cash poor at the moment,
431
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,872
but you look like a drinker.
432
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,589
Perhaps we could barter.
433
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,803
Good-bye, old friend.
434
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,800
You treat her right, Womack!
435
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,848
Keep her lines clean, you hear!
436
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,180
Gordon, you're alive!
437
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,272
Was it terrible?
438
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,858
Did they humiliate you?
439
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,896
This must be quite
a sacrifice for you, eh?
440
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,818
You have no idea.
441
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,361
(wailing)
442
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,581
(sighs)
Beer from a can.
443
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,701
It's barbaric.
444
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:44,910
See ya, guys.
445
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,127
If you're ever up in Canada
446
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,839
to get reasonably priced
pharmaceuticals or, you know,
447
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:51,129
a breath of fresh air, huh,
look us up.
448
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:55,880
Keep your stick
on the ice! (cackles)
449
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,632
The nerve of that guy!
450
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:58,883
So ungrateful.
451
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,727
Didn't even say thank you
for getting him out of jail.
452
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,721
Or for giving up our kegerator,
453
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,520
which had replaced trash day
as my favorite thing
454
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,858
about this neighborhood.
455
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:08,851
No, he didn't.
456
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,270
But you know what?
457
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,897
We were good neighbors,
and we did the right thing.
458
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,865
That's what matters.
459
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,245
Yup.
460
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,237
Yep.
461
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,205
Mm-hmm.
462
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:33,500
Ripped By mstoll
463
00:21:33,550 --> 00:21:38,100
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