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1
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:26,000
Ripped By mstoll
2
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,703
Ahh...
3
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,672
Now let's work on
your fire safety.
4
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:41,292
See this?
5
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,918
Ahh...
6
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,137
Don't ever play with this.
7
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,723
I told you, I am ready
to come back to work.
8
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,719
I just need to work around
the baby's schedule.
9
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:55,564
Well, she falls asleep between
8:00 and 10:00 in the morning
10
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:56,682
and then again at 1:30.
11
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,684
And if I'm away
from the baby too long,
12
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,686
I'll need 15-minute cry breaks.
13
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,688
Oh, no, it's fine, it's fine.
14
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,441
I-I just need a little cry.
15
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,319
Oh, I see.
16
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,576
What's wrong, baby doll?
17
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,667
Jack says he has to give
my barber chair to someone else
18
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:17,411
until my schedule normalizes.
19
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,663
(sighs)
20
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,256
I worked so hard to be
a hairstylist, Lucky.
21
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,625
It's who I am.
22
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:26,254
Maybe it's time to exit
the hairstyling industry.
23
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,881
They keep restricting
what barbers can do.
24
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,679
My guy said he can
no longer perform dentistry.
25
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,684
STROUP:
Let us pray.
26
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:40,185
And remember, we are bowing our
heads to pray, not text-message.
27
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,652
Yeah, I see you,
Mr. and Mrs. Sneaky.
28
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,154
That's right.
29
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,523
Well, look at Grandma.
30
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,569
(chuckles)
31
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,364
Oh, the world can be so cruel.
32
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,952
I loved that job.
33
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,697
When I cut hair,
people said they liked it,
34
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,620
and it made me feel good.
35
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,664
All Gracie does
is throw up on me.
36
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,669
We just have to find you
a new job,
37
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,297
the kind that lets you
bring your pets to work
38
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,711
but defines "pets" very loosely.
39
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:04,708
(baby crying)
40
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,460
No, no, no.
41
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,712
Come on, Jakey!
(chuckles)
42
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,712
Mommy loves you.
43
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:09,713
(chuckles)
44
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:10,839
Mommy loves you!
(babies crying)
45
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,216
Peek-a-boo!
Use your baby signs!
46
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,592
Please stop,
I'll give you anything.
47
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,355
Look, Gracie!
48
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,645
It's the Manger Babies!
49
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,651
There's Obadiah the Donkey.
50
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,777
"Meow."
51
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,690
And Hosea the Cat.
52
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,690
(braying)
53
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,943
"Well blimey, you
mixed them up."
54
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,068
(chuckles): Oh. (babies quiet)
55
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,070
Well, you're right,
56
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,538
Sir Reginald Featherbottom.
57
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,701
I'll try that again.
58
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,698
"Smashing."
59
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,325
Luanne, you're an angel.
60
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,327
I wish I could just buy you!
61
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,626
One day, I promise you,
62
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,592
you will be able to do
an approximation of just that.
63
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:52,344
I've always wanted to be
a children's entertainer.
64
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,434
It's so much more tasteful
than the other kinds.
65
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,052
HANK:
Look, just because a few moms
66
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,100
like something, it doesn't mean
67
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,019
you have to go
and start a business.
68
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,359
Hank, this is just
what modern moms do.
69
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,524
They become mom-preneurs.
70
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,694
Mostly because it sounds cool,
but also to get rich quick.
71
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,365
I fully support Luanne's
ambition to be the breadwinner,
72
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,864
since I'm starting to realize
the liability lawsuit game
73
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,706
is best left to the young.
74
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,497
(laughs)
75
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,119
I'm so happy!
76
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:25,714
I'm going to have a baby
and a career,
77
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,585
just like Cosmo magazine
told me to do.
78
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,301
(sighs)
79
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,137
I can hear you judging me
through your breath, Uncle Hank.
80
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,928
But I'll prove
your breath wrong.
81
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,266
I'm gonna make it.
82
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,680
Come on, babies!
83
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,852
Luanne and the Manger Babies
84
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,442
are gonna be some kind
of children's group.
85
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,654
And I'm gonna have to be
Gracie's mother and father.
86
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,363
I'm like a seahorse.
87
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,403
Why can't Luanne just fail
88
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,652
at selling Tupperware
like normal moms?
89
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,570
I respect puppets.
90
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,698
They say the things
the rest of us only think.
91
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,620
A puppet saved my life once.
92
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,498
Gentlemen,
93
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,246
I stand before you
an inspired man.
94
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:10,547
Luanne has rekindled my yen
to write a children's book.
95
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,716
Children see the world
through innocent eyes.
96
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,714
My book will change that.
97
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,432
(sighs)
98
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,060
(babies crying)
99
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,513
(crying)
100
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,890
(braying)
101
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,690
"I know that hurt, but not
as much as polio would!"
102
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:29,857
(braying)
103
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,696
And that was Luanne.
104
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,692
She is available
for parties and...
105
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,614
People weren't
taking the fliers,
106
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,621
so I tried slipping them
into their pockets.
107
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,456
They did not like that at all.
108
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,621
Be patient, Luanne.
109
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,869
It's like a flu virus.
110
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,963
It just takes one kid to catch
you and then they all will.
111
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,921
(baby crying)
112
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,968
Oh, look, Diya, an octopus!
113
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,085
How about that?!
114
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,885
"Gurgle gurgle."
115
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,929
(laughs)
116
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,723
Diya's birthday party
is coming up,
117
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,641
and I'm through
with hiring clowns.
118
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,681
The last one didn't
wear enough makeup,
119
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,933
and too much of his inner pain
showed through.
120
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,105
Are you available?
121
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,070
I promise to wear
tons of makeups!
122
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:17,985
So, we hope you remember
everything we taught you today
123
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:22,581
about not eating bugs
and picking up your toys
124
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,370
and conflict resolution.
125
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,118
Bye-bye!
126
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,119
(quirky musical riff plays)
127
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,917
Hello, Luanne.
128
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,711
John Redcorn!
129
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,049
Are you performing here, too?
130
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,042
(chuckles)
131
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,385
They could not afford me.
132
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,220
I'm here scouting new acts.
133
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,714
And you wowed me.
134
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:42,263
Did you know "wow"
upside down is "mom?"
135
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,727
I believe you.
136
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,063
I want to produce a line of
educational children's videos
137
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,057
to turn you
and the Manger Babies
138
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,401
into the next Baby Einstein.
139
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:54,693
I'm talking DVDs,
merchandising, the works.
140
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,690
Wow.
141
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,443
Will I have to move
to a factory in China?
142
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,321
No, we can do it
all here in Arlen.
143
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,243
I have a camera,
editing equipment
144
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,618
and a bass guitar leftover
from a previous enterprise.
145
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:11,588
Babies, we've been discovered!
146
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,388
"And that's why
yellow was invented.
147
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,011
So we'd know
when to eat bananas."
148
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,058
(braying)
149
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,608
What color do you think
we should do next?
150
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,608
Purple?
151
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,519
Hmm. Too advanced.
152
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,691
Green?
153
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,654
Brilliant.
154
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,700
Hot off the presses--
155
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:48,166
I.e. my staple gun--
Behold!
156
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,707
Your very own copy
of my children's book
157
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,670
The Magic Bullet.
158
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:56,337
It'll be about a little gun
searching for her lost bullet.
159
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,459
A classic
160
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,382
mother-
daughter tale.
161
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,720
Why?
162
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,680
Follow along
as I read an excerpt.
163
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,806
"Bunny was not like
other AK-47s.
164
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,680
"Bunny was an AK that cared.
165
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:13,559
"Other guns shot
with reckless abandon,
166
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,528
"but Bunny,
her bullets she spared.
167
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,398
"Then one day things went awry,
168
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:22,071
"and one of her bullets,
away she flied.
169
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,664
"That magic bullet
was her daughter Lips,
170
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:32,419
with whom she had a complex
interdependent relationship.
171
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,538
"She went searching for her.
172
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:37,256
? My sweet ballistic ?
173
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,216
? I'll come find you ?
174
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:43,339
? Be optimistic, stay strong X
175
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,558
? Remember you came
from your ?
176
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,223
? Mom ?
177
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,268
It's a little stupid, Dale.
178
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,611
Why is this nonsense so popular?
179
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,117
Sticking babies in front of TVs
180
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,861
can't be good for their brains.
181
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,989
Hank, today's parents just need
a little ten-minute break
182
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,209
now and then, even if it means
a slightly dumber kid.
183
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,417
That's right.
I don't care.
184
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,878
I'm so very tired.
185
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,122
Hey, Uncle Hank,
want to buy my DVD?
186
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,295
Sorry, I sold out.
187
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,884
Luanne, I am so proud of you.
188
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,005
You know, I could've listened
to you, Uncle Hank.
189
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:29,260
But instead, I chose to succeed
in DVDs and in life.
190
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,478
I'm finally a somebody!
191
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,159
(crying)
192
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,680
(sighs)
193
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,687
Okay, I need a break.
194
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,149
Uh, please will you open up
my fan mail for me, Bobby?
195
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,644
Need to protect
the money makers.
196
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,940
All right.
197
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,564
Trevor, age six, writes...
198
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,941
Whoops, wrong house.
199
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,868
Uh, but since I'm here,
200
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,704
perhaps you should know
that you inspired me
201
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,539
to write a kid's book, Luanne.
202
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,874
Oh.
203
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,870
Well, I'll have to
check it out sometime.
204
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,462
Um, Bobby...
205
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,706
Excuse me.
206
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,958
Luanne isn't taking
visitors right now.
207
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,709
Will you get John Redcorn
to read it?
208
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,086
Please? I'm begging you!
209
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,181
This is my one shot to share
my heart with the world!
210
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,345
This is kind of beneath me,
211
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,436
but I'll see if I could
get around to it.
212
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,395
Luanne, you've made me
the happiest
213
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,607
exterminator/children's author
in Arlen!
214
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,896
Aw!
215
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,691
The little people
are so touching.
216
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,656
I don't mean children,
I mean unimportant people.
217
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,069
All right, what's the emergency?
218
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:14,448
I don't know how to say this,
so I'll just say it.
219
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,074
I've got a rolling baby.
220
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:16,870
What?
221
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,627
Every time I set Gracie down,
she rolls.
222
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,337
I don't know what to do.
223
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:29,679
Look, Lucky, it's normal for
babies to do weird things.
224
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,264
Babies are weird.
225
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,678
Now, where's Luanne?
226
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,551
Wh-Why isn't she
helping you with this?
227
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,475
She's at a gig
or a photo shoot or something.
228
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,225
I got to admit, dealing with
Gracie is harder than I thought.
229
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,602
Uh-oh, here comes the thunder.
230
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,111
(both gag)
231
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,698
I'll need help
taking off her onesie
232
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,283
to address that twosie.
233
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,243
(sighs)
234
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,699
Oh, I can't believe
I'm getting ready to go out
235
00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,248
and perform for hundreds
of my fans.
236
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:04,419
Everyone loves me, and I don't
even have to love them back.
237
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,714
I really do hope you get to
experience this one day, Bobby.
238
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,713
You really think I can
be successful like you?
239
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,259
Probably not.
240
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,677
Okay, you're on.
Break a leg.
241
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:21,689
? We are the Manger Babies ?
242
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,651
? Getting into trouble... ?
243
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,981
Hello?
244
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,570
That amphitheater
should have been full.
245
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,367
Didn't you advertise the show?
246
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,990
I-I put fliers
all over Gorilla Gulch.
247
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,709
Babies have
short attention spans.
248
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,079
They're onto the next thing,
just like that.
249
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,580
They're ruthless.
250
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,708
But fame doesn't just go away.
251
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,505
That's not how it works.
252
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,720
Look, the DVDs are just
not selling, anymore.
253
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,714
That is why no one came,
254
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,763
and also why
I must cancel your second DVD.
255
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,932
What?
You can't do that.
256
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,305
You need us.
257
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,685
Look at this big dummy.
258
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,686
Thinks he's gonna impress you
by drinking water. (laughs)
259
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,404
Who are all these people?
260
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,648
The next you.
261
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,694
(laughs)
262
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,163
Give me one more chance.
263
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,657
Okay.
264
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,001
But I expect you
to bring back the "wow."
265
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,120
We already go straight to DVD.
266
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,666
There is nowhere left to go.
267
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,885
How about this idea?
268
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,503
We've tried colors.
269
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,720
Let's move on to words.
270
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:35,884
Syrup!
271
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,142
Brunch!
272
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,431
That is a terrible idea.
273
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,680
I mean, it's sweet
that you're trying to help.
274
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,523
Sweet and annoying.
275
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,017
And unhelpful.
276
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:50,020
Do not worry. Peggy Hill
is on damage control.
277
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,989
I think we should go after
new demographics
278
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:56,235
by introducing new characters.
279
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:59,704
This one will target the
crippled and blind and Hispanic.
280
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,074
And this one
will target mean girls.
281
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,620
(sighing)
282
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,710
Luanne, why don't you
take a little break?
283
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,045
Your family needs you.
284
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,710
(thudding)
(snoring)
285
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,880
Maybe I have been
ignoring my family.
286
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,344
But I don't want it
to be for nothing.
287
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:19,716
That's why I can't let
this just slip away!
288
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,764
That's why you need this.
289
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:24,683
Does this doll
make my hand a slut?
290
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,104
Yes. But for the sake
of educating children.
291
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:32,354
"Yo. Let's meet
my cool friends.
292
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,106
This is Hosea the...
cool cat."
293
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,608
"'Sup?"
294
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,697
"Obadiah the stallion."
295
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,536
"'Sup?"
296
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,246
"Reggie-Reg the bloke."
297
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,411
"Bangers 'n' mash, yo."
298
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,580
"And...
Gurgle Gurgle...
299
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:51,332
the... octopus"?
300
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,710
"Um, like, Gurgle Gurgle's
kind of baby-ish.
301
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:58,509
But whatever, seriously."
302
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,300
"Do you really think so,
Chablis?"
303
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:14,988
I'm sorry, Gurgle Gurgle,
but this is my last chance.
304
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,107
I'm sorry.
305
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,242
Now we just need
some new stories.
306
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:26,616
Some Sir Reginald Featherbottom
versus the system thing.
307
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:30,583
Yeah, I guess we should go edgy.
308
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,966
You know,
I do have one new idea.
309
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,959
About a little gun.
310
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:48,058
We just sanitized.
311
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,021
Aw!
312
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:54,690
Thank you
313
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,689
for attending a screening
of my new DVD,
314
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,316
The Manger Babes.
315
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,697
Yo. Hi.
316
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,118
I'm Luanne.
317
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,709
And these are the Manger Babes.
318
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,168
Chablis the brat.
319
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,585
This is like so, such as...
320
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,967
You'll have to excuse her.
321
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,961
She's stressing
'cause she's two-timing
322
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,134
on Hosea with Reggie-Reg.
323
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,848
What the hell is this?
324
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,811
I think it works because it
doesn't lie to my generation.
325
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,224
It's real.
326
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,518
No, it's not.
It's smut.
327
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:32,606
I don't know, Uncle Hank.
328
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,564
Smut isn't usually
this sophisticated.
329
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,686
Sorry I'm late.
330
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,189
I was scared of being early.
(gasping)
331
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:43,034
And finally,
our newest Manger Babe:
332
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,655
Bangor, a gun that cares.
333
00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,876
(straining)
334
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,714
That was John Redcorn.
335
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:08,890
He wants me and "The Babes"
to do another DVD.
336
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,683
I'm back, Lucky!
337
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,022
Oh, that's great, baby doll.
338
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:16,063
Coincidentally, I've got
something you'll want to hear.
339
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,688
Gracie fell asleep with
her butt up in the air again.
340
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:20,939
I'll grab the camera.
341
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,236
Oh, you know what?
342
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:26,281
I want to tell the Babies about
what Redcorn said first.
343
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,574
(gasping)
344
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,707
"Luanne, you stole my dreams.
345
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:36,170
If you want to ever see your
Manger Babies again, meet me
346
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,540
at the Laundromat. Dale."
347
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,665
(gasping)
348
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,720
Give me back my Babies, Dale!
349
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,888
Too late!
350
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,602
You say they're dry clean only,
351
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,643
but these Babies are dirty
from the inside out.
352
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,648
What?
353
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,113
(horrified gasp)
354
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,619
(Luanne crying)
355
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,675
I want to thank you for coming
356
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,716
to celebrate the life
of the Manger Babies.
357
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,713
What the hell are we doing here?
358
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,886
We're here to
support Luanne, Hank.
359
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,225
Poor thing.
360
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,720
All of her loved ones
end up rotting in jail
361
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,471
or dying in the dryer.
362
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,973
Oh, Lord.
363
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,226
The nerve of that man!
364
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,227
Murderer!
365
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,695
Assassin of hope!
366
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,315
You are not invited to the Babies...
Stealer! Plagiarer!
367
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,861
You're both acting like idiots.
368
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,451
You shouldn't
have stolen Dale's ideas.
369
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,696
You shouldn't
have taken Luanne's dolls.
370
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:55,041
We shouldn't even be
having this memorial service.
371
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,160
(sighing)
372
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,127
You're right.
Put it like that...
373
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,713
I'm sorry.
374
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,083
I didn't mean to steal
your idea, Mr. Gribble.
375
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,709
I just got desperate.
376
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,633
I guess that's what happens
when you sell your soul
377
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,221
for a taste of success.
378
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:13,719
Wow, that would've been a great
story for the Manger Babies
379
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,720
if I hadn't
brutally murdered them.
380
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,688
Oh, well, what are you gonna do?
381
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,978
I don't know who I am anymore.
382
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:23,695
I'm like an asteroid
drifting in space
383
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,530
without a puppeting career.
384
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:28,942
(barking)
385
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,492
Well, this
should cheer you up, Luanne.
386
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:41,712
Oh, the Manger Babies
loved it here.
387
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:45,459
The singing mechanical bears
full of technology.
388
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,176
The pizza.
389
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,055
Hello, John Redcorn.
390
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,268
Are you here scouting new acts?
391
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,682
Soccer party weekend
is like my Super Bowl.
392
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,227
I'm very sorry
things did not work out.
393
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,691
Please, let me send
a pitcher to your table.
394
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,276
I'm sorry.
395
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,690
I don't know who I am anymore,
396
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,314
so I don't know
what soda I'd like.
397
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,611
All right, Luanne, enough.
398
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:17,078
Forget this nonsense
about finding yourself.
399
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:20,373
You don't have the luxury of
figuring out who you are.
400
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,712
You're a mother now.
That's who you are.
401
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:26,708
But, Uncle Hank, I thought...
All the magazines said...
402
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,550
And the talk shows...
403
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,465
Look, it doesn't matter
if you stay at home
404
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,883
or if you work, or whatever.
405
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,256
You're a mom now.
406
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,724
I mean, I'm a dad first,
no matter what.
407
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:39,061
Even if this country
ran only on propane
408
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:43,024
and made me its vice president,
I would still be a dad first.
409
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,187
Okay?
410
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,693
And you'd be an uncle second.
411
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,566
Well, fourth, actually.
412
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,374
(gasps)
413
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:09,676
I can't believe it's really you.
414
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,722
Hello, my former fans.
415
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,557
I bet you thought I'd fall apart
416
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,096
when you deserted me,
didn't you?
417
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,594
LUANNE:
Well, guess what?
418
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:20,719
I did.
419
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,347
But not anymore!
420
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,394
I don't need y'all
to tell me who I am
421
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,563
because Uncle Hank
helped me remember.
422
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,813
And me and Gurgle Gurgle
don't need you anymore.
423
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,816
(microphone feedback whine)
424
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:41,199
I'm glad we're done with
our go-go lifestyle.
425
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,121
Besides, I never told you this,
426
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,711
but I didn't care for
that British penguin.
427
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,626
He was so demanding.
428
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,215
Always asking for his marmalade.
429
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,550
(crying)
430
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,681
Oh, don't cry.
431
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,800
Look, Gracie,
Gurgle Gurgle is here
432
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:02,394
to tell you all about
his glorious travels.
433
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:05,060
"Gurgle Gurgle."
434
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:07,478
You see,
435
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,695
Gurgle Gurgle
only has six tentacles.
436
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:15,408
So, he went on an adventure
to find the other two...
437
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,110
BILL:
I respect puppets.
438
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,653
A puppet saved my life once.
439
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:08,500
Ripped By mstoll
440
00:22:08,550 --> 00:22:13,100
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