All language subtitles for King of the Hill s13e07 Straight as an Arrow.eng

Ripped By mstoll

(tire squeaking)

Bobby, your tire is flat.

I know.

Well, why didn't you change it?

Eh, this gets the job done.

Sorry about your boy, Hank.

(sighs)

If Bobby doesn't learn
to take care of himself,

he's going to go from a kid
who can't change a bike tire

to a man who can't
change a car tire.

Well, maybe his wife
will be handy

with that sort of thing.

Did ya'll hear about
Maxine Sweeney resigning?

"Arlen Welcome Wagon Lady
No Longer Welcome in Arlen.

Really?
Let me see that.

It says she's
been swiping coupons

from the welcome baskets
for years.

That's not all.

I heard her husband
caught her welcoming

one of the new guys in her car.

Well, Maxine's humiliating
public loss is my gain.

Welcome Wagon Lady
is the most prestigious

volunteer position in town!

With her out, this could be
the new face of Arlen.

(squeals, giggles)

This is so much fun!

Gossiping and socializing
with other married women!

But that part is over now.
Lucky!

Ladies, lemonade is served.

Unfortunately, we have to drink
out of Lucky's bachelor glasses.

I was hoping someone would
buy us real married glasses

for our wedding,
but none of you did.

So, Luanne and I
have decided it's time

to collect our rightful
wedding gifts from everyone.

Enjoy your beverages.

We'll be coming for you later.

(Bobby grunts)
Dang it!

Bobby?

Hey, can you grab
that cereal for me?

This bread's too squishy
to knock anything down.

Bobby, there's a stepladder
right there.

Right.

(sighs)

Arlen and I have
some wonderful news.

I have been named our town's
new Welcome Wagon Lady.

All right, Peggy.
Way to go, Mom!

And I already have
my very first family.

Wesley and Annette Cherish.

Formerly of Fort Worth,
husband is an accountant.

Wife is apparently fertile
because they have six children.

What's their pet situation?

Please say monkey.

I do not know,
but your father and I

will find out when
we visit them tomorrow.

Wait. Why do I have to go?

Because when I say, "Hi, I'm
Peggy Hill, and this is my..."

there has to be something there.

PEGGY: And then there's the
farmer's market every Tuesday.

Now, I don't want
to give too much away,

but I hope you like corn.

We love corn.

Boy, the way you make it sound,

if Arlen wasn't in Texas,
I'd think it was in heaven.

Dad, we're done
cleaning our room.

Is there anything else
we can do to help?

Well, you can say hello
to Mr. and Mrs. Hill.

This is Robin
and Kerri, our oldest.

BOYS:
Nice to meet you.

Couple of nice boys
you got there.

We think they're pretty great.

We're looking to
get them involved

in the Order of
the Straight Arrow.

Do you know who runs
a local chapter?

Well, actually,
we don't have one anymore.

Once American Idol caught on,

it got kind of tough
to schedule a meeting.

But we do have many other
great children's activities.

There's, uh, the-the arcade.

Very popular, arcade.

Oh, and the kids
love hanging out

at the Whattaburger parking lot.

Well, what on earth
do they do there?

Well, break glass
bottles, mostly.

Shame.

You know, I'd be happy to get
the Arrow going again here

if I had some help.

What do you say, Hank?

Want to change some lives?

Well, you know, this could be
great for our son, Bobby.

I'm in!

See, when Arlenians put
their minds to something,

there is nothing we can't do.

Except for that AIDS walk.

We just couldn't get that
together.

BILL: I can't believe the
Straight Arrow is back!

This is so exciting!

Well, I'm glad it's back
for Bobby's sake.

The Arrow is just
what the boy needs

to learn some resourcefulness

and stop being,
you know... the way he is.

Well, Joseph won't be joining.

Thanks to my tutelage,
he's a level six survivalist.

He's been trained to use boys
like yours as food and shelter.

(chuckling) Check out
these handsome fellas.

Look how happy I was there.

That little guy didn't know
what was going to hit him.

Hey, look, it's my
old Arrow knife.

This fellow helped me
make a fishing pole,

cut more twine
than I can remember.

Now Bobby will get to do
all those things, too.

No!

Hello, former wedding guest.

As you may recall, Luanne and I
were bonded in holy matrimony,

and you were there
to witness said event.

Oh, yes, beautiful ceremony.

You didn't get us a gift!

Uh, sure I did.

I got you... a star!

But I can't eat off a star!

The Gribbles prefer a
romantic gift to the practical.

Point is, our obligation
is fulfilled.

I'll be awaiting
your thank-you note.

We're going to need
to change our strategy.

Greetings, fellow troopers!

I'm Arrowmaster Wesley.

Who's ready to have some fun?

(cheering)

And who's ready to learn
some self-reliance?

(cheering)
Huh?

Assistant Arrowmaster Hank
is right.

The Arrow is going to teach you

to be courageous,
independent men.

And we're going start by
building our first fire.

All right, let's get outside
and collect some wood.

Oh, that's not necessary, Hank.

We're building them right here.

Inside?

Building a fire
is like building a house.

You start
with a strong foundation.

Then come the walls
and the roof,

and finally a family of flame
to live inside.

(fan starts)
Whoosh!

Okay, troopers,
now it's your turn.

That was, uh, creative.

But don't you think
the kids should learn

how to, you know,
make a real fire?

Oh, no, Hank,
that's too dangerous.

Do you want Bobby to get burned?

I don't know. Maybe a little.

(laughing):
You're funny.

Hey, what do you say we hand out
the Arrow knives?

Oh, good, the knives.

What the heck is this?

Great, huh?

Well, it's a toy.

BOBBY:
Hey, Dad, look!

My fire's roaring!

Hey, Mom, Straight Arrow
is the best.

Everyone's super nice

and we made these cool replica
Native American necklaces.

Oh, it's very pretty, honey.

Sounds like Bobby
had a great time today.

But don't Indian necklaces
usually have

an eagle claw or a bear tooth?

(sighing): Wesley thought
they were too pointy.

Something about
that guy seems off.

He had the kids
build a fake fire.

It was just lame.

Did you say that to him?

Is he upset?
Is he moving?!

I just welcomed him!

Well, I didn't say anything,
but I feel like I should.

The last thing Bobby needs
is more "pretend" time.

Hey, Hank.

Boy, this was a
great idea you had,

sitting down for a little
Arrow brainstorming session.

Well, we owe it to the kids

to plan some, you know...
useful activities.

Come on. Let's powwow
in the TV room.

Annette's home-schooling
in the den.

This is the TV room?
I don't see a TV.

But... how do you
watch the game?

The football game?

(chuckling):
Oh, no.

We discourage the kids
from predatorial sports

like football, basketball, tag.

Uh, so I was thinking we could
do a lesson on tying knots.

Then we could use them
to make something fun,

like a bow and arrow.

Whoa, bow and arrow is a
little too "hunty-killy."

Don't you think?

But you know what we could make?

A dreamcatcher.

Yeah, that sounds awful.

You know, Wesley, back when I
was in the Straight Arrow,

we did a lot more
"active" activities.

Well, the kids
are still learning

the same skills we did, Hank.

Just in a safe,
controlled environment.

No risk, no danger.

But...
Daddy!

During recess we usually
take a family walk.

Would you like to join us?

Nope, uh, I'm good.

(knocking)

We've come for
our blender, Kahn.

I want to crush ice
with the touch of a button!

Have you been huffing paint?

It's 3:00
in the morning!

You didn't get us
a wedding gift,

so, now, we're here to collect.

Look, we have a year
to buy you a gift.

And, how should I
put this delicately?

We don't think your
hillbilly marriage

going to last that long.

Come back in a few months.

We're not leaving
without our small appliance.

Oh, would you like it
in chrome or buttercup yellow?

He didn't even allow you
the dignity of pants.

I hate this Wesley guy.

You know what we're doing
instead of a campout?

A "camp-in."

Apparently, the woods
are too unpredictable,

so we're spending the night
at the library.

Man, that dang ol'
disgraceful, man.

Talkin' 'bout won't
let kids be kids, man.

Exactly. Kids are supposed
to get dirty and get hurt.

We did.

Sure, we cut ourselves
and burned ourselves,

but that's how we learned
things were sharp and hot.

And we turned out all right.

Except for Boomhauer's
pinky toe,

wherever she may be.

BOBBY:
Wematanya, guys.

Wematanya, Bobby.
Wematanya, Bobby.

Wematanya, Hank.

Hi, Wesley.

You guys will not believe
what I did last night.

Face Kicker 3, level 15.
I owned it.

All right, Bobby.

That's awesome!

What's Face Kicker 3?

Only the best video game ever.

Oh, we don't have
any video games.

Wait, you don't have any...

You guys have got
to see this right now.

WESLEY:
That should do it.

We should probably
get on the road

so we have time to
stretch our hammies.

ARROW KIDS: Go, Bobby! Kick him!

Double-kick him.

(thumping sound effects
from video game)

What is the matter with you?

I don't understand.

What did I do?

How could you expose
the troop to this garbage?

You're a bad influence, Bobby,

and I won't have that here.

Hey, back off, Wesley.

Don't talk to my son like that.

Kids, get in the van.

Maybe violence is acceptable
in your household, Hank,

but it isn't here.

Where does he get off
criticizing our son like that?

That's what you do at home
behind people's backs.

Bobby is a good, normal kid.

Not like his little weirdos.

Has Arrowmaster Wesley called?

Am I kicked out of the troop?

The not knowing is killing me.

You know, Bobby,
maybe it's for the best

if you don't go back.

But I need the Arrow, Dad.

(sighs) Arrowmaster
Wesley was right.

My video games are violent.

Making all these faces explode
can't be good for me.

Oh, sure it can, sweetie.

Dad, tell Arrowmaster Wesley

I'll do whatever it takes
to stay in the troop.

Here, destroy this

before it destroys anyone else.

How could Wesley
bad-mouth Bobby like that?

I'm as mad as if...

as if someone made fun
of my own son...

which I don't have, which...

it makes me even more mad!

And now he's got Bobby on board

with his asinine way
of thinking.

What those kids need is a taste

of what the Arrow
used to be like.

What we got to do is get
that man out of the picture.

Let's see.

Uh, too complicated...

too messy...

we'd need a lion.

Hey, I think I know a way.

I'll offer to chaperone a shift
of the Arrow camp-in.

When Wesley isn't around,

the kids can finally experience

some good-natured
Arrow mischief.

I like mischief.

I want to help.

Me, too.

If I can reach just one child

through candy and matches,

it'll all have been worthwhile.

(fan whirring)

Oh, no, campers.

A hungry bear
has entered our campsite.

What do we do?

Make yourself big and noisy.

(all growling and hollering)

Well done.

You scared that bear away.

Isn't this fun, Hank?

Oh, I'm so glad you
came around to our side.

I think you'll see Bobby

will really benefit
from this environment.

Well, look at that.

Time for you to go.

Already? Wow.

Thanks again for taking
the midnight shift.

The kids say the family bed
seems empty without me.

See you in the AM.

He's gone.

Put down those books, kids.

We're gonna show you

what an Arrow campout
was like in my day.

Dad, this isn't part of
Arrowmaster Wesley's itinerary.

Campouts don't have itineraries.

? ?

Now, this is a campout.

Hey!

You know, we should let them
run around the parking lot.

(chuckles)
Running on asphalt.

Oh, Wesley would love that.

Go on, now.

Remember, you're not having fun
unless you get dirty.

Uh, hey, guys,
that's far enough.

Yeah, come on!

(yelps)

Robin, Kerri!

Ah, dang it, they're gone.

Well, we've still
got five kids left.

That's something.

We have to find them,
and we have to do it fast,

because Wesley
is due back here in an hour.

(sighs)
Okay, boys, go grab your gear.

You're coming with me.

Peggy,

you stay here in case
Robin and Kerri come back.

Guys, I need you to stall Wesley

at his house
to give me as much time

as possible to find
his crazy kids.

Can do. (speaking gibberish)

You bet.

Are you sure about this, Dad?

There's no way we can find them.

We'll get lost.

Then the people who come looking
for us will get lost,

and we'll lose half the town.

Don't worry, son.
No one's getting lost.

We're gonna track them.

Everything that moves through
the woods leaves a trail,

whether you're a deer
or a 13-year-old boy.

So start looking for signs

like crushed grass,

broken branches, footprints...

What about frosting?

Good eye, son.

Okay, they headed this way.

Let's go.

Fried baloney served on silver.

We are midnight-snacking
like kings.

You know, I celebrated
my birthday last month

and was very disappointed
with the gift response.

You make a list.

I'll call the boys.

(sighs) Dang it. I
lost the trail.

What we need is a high
vantage point, so we

can see Robin and Kerri.

If we climb this tree,

we might be able to spot them.

But Arrowmaster Wesley

says climbing
only leads to falling.

Not if you're smart about it.

I'll do it.

Great.

Now, remember,
climb with your legs

and be sure of your footing.

I see them!

Okay, take out your compass
and give us a heading.

Uh... east.

That way.

So, what's the plan, Dale?

The old distressed
motorist routine.

We'll tell Wesley
our van is broken.

He'll undoubtedly invite us in
to use the phone

and then offer us
a cup of cocoa,

giving Hank plenty of time
to secure the rogue brothers.

BOOMHAUER: Yo, man, heads
up, here-here-here...

here he come, man.

Excuse me...

(screaming)

It burns!

(screams)
It burns so much!

(tapping)

Quiet, I think I
heard something.

It's them.

Now, we can't just
jump out like that.

We'll risk scaring them off.

If we want to catch those two,

we have to get them
to come to us.

Like the way my grandpa uses a
duck call when he goes hunting?

Well, exactly,
but a duck call for kids.

Dad, I've got an idea.

(Bobby imitating
video game sound effects)

BOBBY:
Yeah, you're toast!

Shh... is that Bobby
playing Face Kicker?

What's he doing out here?

Who cares?

I want to kick some faces.

Okay, boys, fun's over.

WESLEY:
My boys!

Oh, Robbie, Kay-Kay,

are you all right?

The kids are fine.

We were just outside
getting some fresh air

and, uh, you know,
listening to the crickets.

DALE:
Sorry, Hank.

We told him everything.

He wouldn't stop spraying.

How could you be
so irresponsible,

letting these boys run
around and eat cupcakes

like a pack of wild animals?

Irresponsible?

I let them outside.

I gave them some sugar.

So what?

They needed to have some fun.

Oh, so you think you know
what's best for my kids?

Robin has ADHD.

And Kerri's hyperglycemic.

Uh, sorry about the, uh, fun.

How I raise my children

is my business, not yours.

Come on, boys,
let's get you home

and check you for ticks.

Huh.

He, uh, has some good points.

I feel terrible, Hank.

I had no idea
how emotionally involved

I'd become
with my Welcome Wagon families.

I cannot take the stress.

I am out.

BOBBY: Hey, Dad, we want to
learn more cool Arrow stuff,

like what you taught us
in the woods.

Totally. Please. Yeah.

We brought back some sticks.

Can we make something
fun with them?

Well, sure.

How about we whittle
a fishing spear.

Here, you'll need this.

Cool.

HANK: Now, remember, when
you open a pocketknife,

you need to keep your hand...

BOBBY:
Ow!

HANK:
Are you okay?

Uh, you might want

to hold your hand
above your head.

BILL (screaming):
It burns so much!

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