All language subtitles for King of the Hill s13e05 No Bobby Left Behind.eng

Ripped By mstoll

MAN:
Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Hill.

Just give me one second
to find Bobby's test.

Excellent, great work.

Satisfactory, needs improvement.

Unsatisfactory.

Yes, here's Bobby.

"D-"?

Dang it, Bobby.

I expect more from someone

with no extracurricular
activities.

I'm sorry, Dad. I tried.

Math's just not my thing.

I told you we should have
let him watch Sesame Street.

Don't blame me.

The boy was terrified
of puppets.

Too bad that didn't stick.

So, I guess it's not my fault?

Or mine.

Maybe Bobby's
just a bad test taker.

Some kids have trouble
handling the stress

of testing situations.

This is ridiculous.

My boy's flunking out,

and you're just making excuses.

Carl, aren't you
gonna say something?

Hmm? Oh, oh, sorry, Hank.
I wasn't listening.

Uh, I'm mainly here for backup.

You would not believe
how quickly

these parent/teacher conferences
can turn violent.

Hank, I do not know
how you can eat

when our boy
is so close to the edge.

He'll be fine.

He just needs to work harder
and apply himself.

Yeah, about that.

I was thinking that maybe
we shouldn't dismiss

this "bad test taker" thing
so quickly.

Bobby, no more excuses.

The only thing that's wrong
with you is that you're lazy.

And that's gonna change
right now.

And I will be your
instrument of change.

I will tutor you
and flash-card you

until you claw your way
up to a "C-."

I hate letter grades.

Why can't we just go back

to the gold star/smiley face
system?

The same reason
we won't let you sleep

with your "banky" anymore.

But I still...
Yip.

Oh.

(chuckling)

I'll forward it to you...

but better wait till you get
home before you open it.

Carl, the school board's
got a problem.

A "No Child Left Behind"
problem.

Stu, tell the school board
we haven't left behind a child

in over five years
at Tom Landry.

Hell, we pass everybody.

Carl, the government
doesn't care

if your kids pass their classes.

They just care if your kids pass
the yearly standardized test,

which they haven't done
in two years.

Oh, is that
what that law's about?

(sputtering)

Have you even read the manual?

Well, to tell you the truth,

I got a few pages into it,

but it's no Harry Potter.

And-and then the new Harry
Potter came out, and well, I...

Damn it, Carl.
That test is in a few weeks.

You haven't done squat
to prepare for it.

Now, if your kids
fail this again,

the state can come in
and fire all of you.

And Carl, I imagine
the first head

on the chopping block's
going to be the principal's.

(microphone feedback squealing)

Okay, kids, I need everyone
to listen up real good.

We got a very important
standardized test coming up.

If y'all don't pass it,

me and your teachers
could be out of a job.

Yes!

Good.
We hate you guys!

(laughing)

Let's see how you feel

after Tom Landry gets shut down

and y'all are shipped
to other schools.

Maybe a few of you
will get lucky

and end up in North Arlen,

but most of you'll
be finishing out your year...

in Durndle.

(gasps)

Okay, students, circle up!

Today, the only muscle
you'll be stretching

is your noggin.

What happened to kickball?

Gone. Over. Eliminated.

Effective immediately,
all classes, including gym,

will be teaching math
and reading

to help prepare you
for the test.

Okay. Dooley!

I've got a five-pound
medicine ball in this hand

and a ten-pound medicine ball
in this hand.

If you were to multiply
the weightage

of both balls together,
what would you get?

I pass.

Oh, for...
(groans)

Hill?

Can you use it
in a sentence, please?

What?

I just did,
you little Knucklehead!

We're never gonna
pass this test.

These dumb-dumbs
can't even do simple math.

Kleehammer, you're
not the only one

under some stress here.

We're all freaking out.

How about this?

Uh, during the test,

we could just move
three smart kids

around each dumb kid.

You know they're gonna cheat.

What if we happen

to find some marijuana

in some of the
dumb kids' lockers?

Wait.

Think I might have
found a technicality.

(moaning)

EMILY:
Bobby Hill,

Principal Moss needs you.

Now!

MOSS:
Okay, kids,

listen up.

In a few minutes, Mr. Terkelson

from the district's gonna
be here to evaluate

whether you're
a special needs child or not.

Special needs?

But I'm not special needs,
Principal Moss.

Well, Bobby, I think you should

let the expert decide.
Wait.

Maybe he's right, Carl.

Maybe he will pass
the evaluation.

Then, you can go back
to your regular class

and continue studying
day and night

for the standardized test,
which you'll probably fail.

Let me bottom-line this
for you, kids.

If you don't do so well
on this evaluation,

that means you're gonna be
labeled a special needs child,

which means you're
no longer required

to take the standardized test.

Oh, and did I mention...

you'd no longer
have any homework.

That sounds pretty good,

but I still don't think
I'm special...

And you get to go
on the field trip

to Alamo Land next week.

But I thought that trip was only
for the kids on the honor roll.

Well, it would be an honor

for the special needs kids
to come along.

You know what.
I think you're right.

I should let the expert decide.

Okay, children.

Does this clown look sad...

or happy?

Now, raise your hand
if you think he's happy.

Thank God I'm here.

There's so much work to do.

HANK:
Okay, Bobby,

it's time to go
over your algebra.

Your mom left some flash
cards to help you study.

I don't have to study anymore.

Why is that?

It's all explained here.

Special needs?

What the hell?

Now, excuse me,
I have a special need

for something dipped
in chocolate.

No homework, no tests.

Why would they put
him in that class?

He doesn't have any
learning problems.

Maybe this explains
why he hates taking tests

and why his grades are so bad.

I swear to you now, Hank,

I will love that boy
no matter how special he is.

Oh, my sweet, sweet boy,
look at you.

You come here.
Come give your mama a hug.

Okay.

(sobbing):
Oh, you...

Carl!

(sighs)
Dang it.

Do you know where the, uh,
special needs class is?

Excellent.

Fine motor skills, Dooley.

You're the class
super-duper champ

of the morning.

Excuse me.
I'm Hank Hill,

Bobby's father.

You must be
Mr. Terkelson.

Yes. Can I help you?

Hey, Dad.

Uh, yeah, I'd like a word
with you outside.

Class, you can rest your eyes,

but no sleepies.

I'll be right back.

Mr. Terkelson, my boy

doesn't belong in your class.

He was just put here

so he wouldn't take
the standardized test.

Test? He...

he shouldn't be taking
any standardized test, Mr. Hill.

Not until I can fully evaluate
his condition.

There is no condition.

That boy is about as normal
as you or, well, as me.

Sadly, 20 years ago,
you would have been right.

Bobby would have
been labeled normal.

Those truly were the dark ages

of public education.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever found a kid
who wasn't special?

No.

Mr. Terkelson, I want my boy

taken out of this
ridiculous class immediately

or I'm going to the district.

Sorry, Mr. Hill,
I am the district,

and your son is staying

until he gets the care he needs.

Okay, we're gonna have
to skip P.E. today

because I don't have enough

first-place ribbons
to go around.

(sighs) That class
is ridiculous.

If the school's spending
all their time and money

on these kids, who's taking care

of the kids
who really need help?

I was evaluated when
I joined the military.

The tests said
I was "dull normal."

I, for one, am relieved

that Joseph has been labeled
special needs

'cause that means
it's not my fault.

Ah.

Yep, not my fault.

We got most of the "D"s
and "C"s accounted for.

Once we take care
of any possible wild cards,

we'll be home free.

Look,

that kid is just
staring into space

as if our jobs
weren't on the line.

I'm on it.

Come with me, Jack,

and leave your books.

You're not gonna be needing them
where you're going.

(giggling)

Hi, I'm Bobby.

Preliminary attention disorder
and possibly dyslexic.

We're still waiting
on the test results.

And this is Joseph...
Articulation disorder.

I got it bad, dude.

I don't want to be here.

I was just daydreaming.

Yeah, we all felt
like you did at first,

but then we saw
the ice cream cart.

(gasping)
Do they have fudgesicles?

Three different kinds.

And any time you need a break,
you can ask for beanbag time,

which is unlimited.

Oh, and did I mention

that we get to go to
Alamo Land next week?

Really?
Yeah,

so when you get evaluated,
don't try to be a hero.

Shoot for one right answer
out of every four

and you'll be just fine.

Look what I made
in school for you, Mom.

Oh, Bobby,
you are my little miracle.

Peggy, he was making those
when he was four.

Ugh, that preschool
was so demanding.

Well, I've got to go practice
my zipper song.

I think I can learn it
before the Alamo Land trip.

? Down when you tinkle ?

? Up when you're done... ?

Wait a second, Bobby.

I thought only the good students
were allowed to go on that trip.

Hank, the school did not want
to discriminate

against the special-needs kids,
so they're letting them go,

and I think
it was the right decision.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah.

? Congratulations ?

? You've made
a number one. ?

Okay, Melissa.

The logarithm to the base three
of nine is?

Uh, three?

Three.

No, not even close!

Back of line!

Who's next?

Two?

Of course it's two.

Very good, Jamie.

Here's your Fast Pass.

Enjoy your ride.

You can tell Melissa
all about it.

Next!

Feel free to wet yourself.

The splash at the bottom
will cover your shame.

Your dad's so cool.

I don't know
why my parents hate him.

Whoa,

there's a six-person maximum
on this ride.

Park rule.

But, but my girlfriend's
on that ride.

Oh, man, that's totally
a make-out ride.

You can't leave her alone
with Dooley.

Do something, Bobby.

Excuse me, sir.

We are special-
needs children

and we are required by state law

to stay with our buddies
at all times.

Uh, okay, go ahead.

It has begun!

Look at me.

I'm flume-surfing.

That is so cool.

Dude, I can do it, too.

We are approaching
the bottomless pit drop.

Brace yourselves.

(screams)

Wingo!

Gribble, where your dumb kids?

Oh, my God,
the special-needs kids!

They're in the water!

(yelling playfully)

What are the special-needs kids
doing here

without any supervision?

Who let this happen?

Whoever it was, they're
going to pay for this.

Mom, I'm fine, really.

I cannot believe
they let this happen to you.

Somebody will pay for this.

Bobby shouldn't have been
on that trip to begin with,

and if anything,
this is his fault.

He's the one who made that guy
jam ten kids on the log flume.

Oh, lay off him, Hank.

He might not know what ten is.

MAN (over television):
Miguel Hernandez,

live from Alamo Land
Amusement Park

where earlier today a group
of special-needs children

narrowly and miraculously

avoided disaster after falling

out of the Falls of Fury
log flume ride.

Your thoughts.

I just don't know

why these special ed kids
were even on this trip.

I didn't see a chaperone

and none of them were wearing
protective head gear.

And I know the principal
knew all about it, too.

Excuse me, we have just received

an exclusive photo
of the near-disaster.

Let's go right to it.

STU:
You're in deep.

The district's out for blood.

I wish I could help you,
but they want your job.

But Stu, I've been a principal
half my life.

I'm not qualified
to do anything else.

What were you thinking, Carl?

You know you're not supposed

to take the special-needs kids
off campus,

let alone to an amusement park,

without getting
district approval.

Listen, Stu, those kids are no
more special than you and me.

They were never in any danger.

I-I just put 'em
in that class

so we could pass
the standardized test.

I-I didn't hear that.

You, you can't prove
I heard that.

This is still America, right?

The land of second chances?

Hank,

thank God you're here.

You got to help me.

Help you?

Kicking your ass seems
more appropriate, Carl.

I'm just going
to come clean here.

I just labeled those kids
special needs

so they wouldn't take the test.

Of course you did.

I'm really stuck here.

I don't have anyone
to take the blame.

Emily's too young
to take the fall

and everybody thinks Dale
Gribble's a special-needs kid.

You have to let those kids
take the standardized test.

If they pass,
it'll prove they're not special;

they're just a bunch of kids
acting like jackasses,

and that you didn't do anything
wrong... a-at that moment.

But those kids will never pass
that test.

All they need is to be
pushed a little, Carl.

That's all they ever needed.

I guess we can try
educating 'em.

(pop melody plays)

? Bright lights,
the music gets faster ?

? Look, boy, don't check
on your watch ?

? Not another glance ?

? I'm not leaving now, honey,
not a chance ?

? Hotshot,
give me no problems ?

? Much later, baby,
you'll be saying never mind ?

? You know life is cruel,
life is never kind ?

? Kind hearts don't make
a new story ?

? Kind hearts don't grab
any glory ?

? We're the kids in America ?

? Whoa-oh ?

? We're the kids in America ?

? Whoa-oh ?

? Everybody lives
for the music-go-round ?

? La-da-da-da-da-da-da ?

? La-da-da-da-
da-da-da a'

? Say! ?

? We're the kids in America ?

? Whoa-oh ?

? We're the kids in America... ?

All right, kids, it's test time.

You worked real hard this week,
and I'm proud of you.

I have

every confidence
that you'll knock that test

out of the park today.

Now, go get 'em!

(school bell rings)

Well, I give you credit, son.

You worked hard and it paid off.

Well, I knew all along
he was going to pass.

I guess our boy is
special after all.

I'll see you later

and please stop using that word.

Well, it's a shame
the school failed again.

I heard the scores actually
went down from last year.

Well, I guess
you cannot blame the district

for shaking things up.

We're lucky they didn't shut
the whole school down.

(whistle blows)

Yeah, but I don't know how great
of an interim principal

Coach Kleehammer is going to be.

Study up today, maggots.

I wonder what's going
to happen to Principal Moss.

Well, he'll pull through.

You know Carl.

He's a survivor.

(tires screeching)

Good Lord, Carl,
I almost hit you.

Sorry about that, Hank.

It's just that we got
a new product

everyone at the company's
real excited about

and I didn't want you and yours
to miss out on it.

You're selling steaks?

Not really. These things
sell themselves.

Take a look at this beauty.

Hmm.

I never heard
of a J-bone.

Help a brother out, guys.

I need to keep
my medical current

until my suspension's over.

I got that disease

where you wake up in
strange places drunk.

(whimpers)

Uh, put us down for five,
I guess.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

KAHN:
Gribble, where your dumb kids?

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