Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,375
So you've, uh... got bedbugs?
2
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,043
It was only a matter of time.
3
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,379
Man, you look just like
a dang ol' leper, man.
4
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,147
You talkin' 'bout don't
make me itch, man.
5
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,148
Uh, man.
6
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,750
It's not just Bill.
7
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,152
There's a bedbug
epidemic going on!
8
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,021
Well, you're awful chipper
about it.
9
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,156
I've got more work
than I can handle.
10
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,659
And my, shall we say,
lack of competence
11
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,828
creates a lot
of repeat business.
12
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,231
Little help, Hank?
13
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,169
Of course not.
14
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,908
For only a thousand dollars
15
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:16,944
we can rent a matching set
of penguins
16
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,546
to show people
to their reception tables.
17
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,815
Huh, sounds kind of classy.
18
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:22,883
[SNORTS SOFTLY]
19
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,786
That is your third snort
in five minutes, Hank,
20
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,689
and I know for a fact
you do not have a head cold.
21
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,025
I'm sorry, but this wedding
is getting out of control.
22
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:34,661
What you guys should be doing
is saving your money
23
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,763
so you can move out of my den.
24
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,565
The house across the street's
for sale,
25
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,167
how about putting it
towards that?
26
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:42,769
Ooh!
27
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,173
We could get married on a cliff
in front of a castle!
28
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,476
Luanne, that's not even
a picture of a wedding.
29
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,078
It's a Jaguar ad.
30
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,747
Baby doll, there is
nothing I want more
31
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,983
than to make your
dreams come true.
32
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,985
And since you're rich, you can!
33
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:02,389
Well, now, my settlement
money was down to $9,000
34
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,591
after buying my new truck rims.
35
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:05,826
You're rich and you can!
36
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,695
Of course, baby girl.
37
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,698
[HANK SIGHS]
38
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,433
HANK:
It's just dang ridiculous.
39
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,702
They should be planning
for their future --
40
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,838
a future that's not in my den.
41
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,607
Hank? Luanne is a
pregnant college drop-out,
42
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:23,076
marrying a 38-year-old
snaggle-toothed
43
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,444
slip-and-fall man.
44
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,247
It is extremely likely
that her wedding day
45
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:29,316
is going to be
the best day of her life.
46
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,251
Do not take that away from her.
47
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,355
Lucky!
48
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,491
Evenin', Uncle Hank.
49
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,893
I'd give it a minute
if I were you.
50
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,563
Oh, and by the way,
I share your concerns
51
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,599
about being able to provide
for Luanne's future.
52
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,969
Well, if you're that concerned,
you could always get a job.
53
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,404
A job huh?
54
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,473
Well, I did always like the idea
of being a state trooper.
55
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,243
You know, the-hunted-becomes-
the-hunter type thing?
56
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,211
But I don't think
they'll go for it.
57
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,781
Thanks anyway, Uncle Hank.
58
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,250
Uh...
59
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:06,320
Peggy, I'm going to go
brush my teeth at Boomhauer's.
60
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,992
ALL: With liberty and
justice for all.
61
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,160
Amen.
62
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,329
All right, everybody,
let's get to work.
63
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,164
Dale? What are you
doing here?
64
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,099
I'm here to treat for bedbugs.
65
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,301
Isn't it great?
They're everywhere!
66
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,937
Whoa!
67
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,572
Is it okay to breathe
this stuff?
68
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,507
No time for small talk, Enrique.
69
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,409
I have ten other
service calls today
70
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:30,844
and I'm already running behind.
71
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,746
Well, if you're really
stretched that thin,
72
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,314
Lucky's looking for a job.
73
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:35,949
He's got a baby on the way
74
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,251
and needs to find a place
of his own to raise it.
75
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,720
Hmm...
76
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,323
A man under extreme
domestic pressure.
77
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,659
He would be very compliant.
78
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,861
Tell him to report
at 0900 hours...
79
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,830
And it's his day
to bring muffins.
80
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,565
Oops.
81
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,069
Lord, these gowns are price-y.
82
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,738
Uh-huh.
83
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,673
And, as a pregnant bride,
84
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,609
the more money you spend,
the less shame you'll feel.
85
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,912
Now, Luanne is going to assign
each of you a body part,
86
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,682
and you have to tell her
if it looks bad in the dress.
87
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,850
I've got back fat!
88
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,319
[GASPS]
I found it!
89
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:15,522
Her butt going to look
huge in that.
90
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,824
I've got backside!
91
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,729
Welcome to Dale's Dead Bug,
92
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,765
World Headquarters.
93
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,366
All right, time to gear up.
94
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,901
This is your gas mask.
95
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,903
And these are your goggles.
96
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,876
[LAUGHING]
97
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,778
You look like a bug!
98
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,513
You look like a bug.
99
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:42,249
And I know what to do
with a bug!
100
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,222
[MEN PLAYFULLY GRUNTING
AND MAKING MOCK FIGHT SOUNDS]
101
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,128
[SCREAMS]
102
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,065
Ew...
103
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,133
Ow.
104
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,570
[SOBBING]
105
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:07,274
Why do my boyfriends always die?
106
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,509
I'm so sorry, Lucky!
107
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,945
[BOTH SOBBING]
108
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,881
- I'm so sorry!
- Lucky?
109
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,617
You got nothing to be
sorry for, Dale.
110
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,319
These things just happen.
111
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,987
Everything's gonna be fine.
112
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,856
Wow, Lucky.
113
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,092
That's really
philosophical of you.
114
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,928
Well, I've been through this
a couple times before.
115
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,664
Of course I'm gonna have
to sue you...
116
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,799
But after that,
everything's gonna be fine.
117
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,735
- Sue me?
- Hang in there, buddy.
118
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,903
I'm giving you a morphine drip.
119
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,273
'Preciate it. I find that
three cc's dulls the pain
120
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:44,111
without affecting the
admissibility of my testimony.
121
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,279
Mm...
122
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,408
LUCKY:
Ohhh...
123
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,410
I'm sorry you're in such pain.
124
00:05:59,644 --> 00:06:02,046
Me having to sue Dale
hurts almost as much
125
00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:03,915
as my grievous injuries.
126
00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:05,683
But I have no choice.
127
00:06:05,817 --> 00:06:08,119
I can't work,
and you need your wedding.
128
00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:10,922
And now, because of your
ruptures and contusions,
129
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,357
we can have a fantastic wedding!
130
00:06:13,491 --> 00:06:14,659
[MAN CLEARS THROAT]
131
00:06:14,927 --> 00:06:16,060
LUCKY:
Hey!
132
00:06:16,185 --> 00:06:17,695
It's Lawyer Johnson!
133
00:06:17,895 --> 00:06:19,630
Hello, Lucky!
134
00:06:19,731 --> 00:06:22,734
Mm! When I say you look like
a million bucks, I mean it!
135
00:06:22,934 --> 00:06:25,570
Are you the one who's gonna
get us all the money?
136
00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:27,238
Lucky's done the hard part.
137
00:06:27,322 --> 00:06:30,792
So, are you suffering from
nausea? Blackouts? Vomiting?
138
00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:33,811
- No more so than usual.
- I didn't hear that.
139
00:06:33,911 --> 00:06:35,947
I just heard nausea,
blackouts and vomiting.
140
00:06:36,114 --> 00:06:37,415
Now, Mr. Johnson,
141
00:06:37,548 --> 00:06:39,484
since I'm suing
a friend of the family,
142
00:06:39,589 --> 00:06:41,119
I don't want to get greedy.
143
00:06:41,285 --> 00:06:42,954
Mm, that's very noble.
144
00:06:43,087 --> 00:06:45,623
You just leave the worrying
about being greedy to me.
145
00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:49,660
[GRUMBLING]
146
00:06:49,794 --> 00:06:51,429
I can't believe
I'm getting sued.
147
00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:54,198
And by Edward Johnson,
the "King of Torts."
148
00:06:54,365 --> 00:06:56,534
He won that title
in a lawsuit, you know.
149
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,369
You got to help me, Hank.
150
00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:01,272
Now, look, I know this
whole thing is asinine,
151
00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:05,009
but this is exactly why you have
liability insurance.
152
00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:07,411
You do have
liability insurance, don't you?
153
00:07:07,578 --> 00:07:10,014
Yeah, because you made me.
154
00:07:10,114 --> 00:07:11,616
Hey, thanks.
155
00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:15,086
How 'bout this, Luanne.
156
00:07:15,219 --> 00:07:17,955
You ride down the aisle
on a white horse.
157
00:07:18,055 --> 00:07:19,924
[CHUCKLES]
White horse? Seen it.
158
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:22,927
[GASPS]
How 'bout a unicorn?
159
00:07:24,228 --> 00:07:27,265
Uncle Hank, you have
to try this cake.
160
00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:30,501
The icing is made
out of 24-carat gold.
161
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:34,205
You're so bent on wasting money
you're going to eat gold?
162
00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:36,007
[SIGHS]
Extravagance!
163
00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:38,509
What if we have doves
land on the cake?!
164
00:07:38,609 --> 00:07:41,379
Of course, we'll have to
train them not to poop on it.
165
00:07:51,823 --> 00:07:53,057
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
166
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,537
I'm not insured!
167
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,275
Mr. Gribble, I'd like to
thank you for coming today
168
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:13,044
- with your counsel.
- Don't answer that.
169
00:08:13,211 --> 00:08:15,513
It wasn't a question, counselor,
it was a pleasantry.
170
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:16,914
[SCOFFS]
Don't look at me.
171
00:08:17,815 --> 00:08:19,684
Mr. Gribble, with your
counsel's permission
172
00:08:19,784 --> 00:08:21,586
and mind you, I'm not
looking at him,
173
00:08:21,686 --> 00:08:23,588
I would like to address
your lack of insurance.
174
00:08:23,721 --> 00:08:25,590
Where will we get
the money for our wedding?
175
00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:27,024
My dear, don't worry.
176
00:08:27,124 --> 00:08:30,761
Rule number one in litigation
is: Somebody always pays.
177
00:08:31,062 --> 00:08:32,830
Now, my client's injuries
178
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:35,600
resulted from an incident
involving pesticide spray.
179
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,034
Who makes your pesticide?
180
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:39,036
And the answer I'm looking for
181
00:08:39,136 --> 00:08:41,072
is one of the deep pocket
poison makers.
182
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,107
Dow. Dupont. Ciba-Geigy.
183
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:44,442
I make my own.
184
00:08:44,609 --> 00:08:46,043
Oh. Okay.
185
00:08:46,143 --> 00:08:48,546
Uh, what about the stairs
Lucky fell down?
186
00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:50,715
Were they built
by a large developer?
187
00:08:50,815 --> 00:08:52,216
Successful contractor?
188
00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:54,652
I built them...
without a permit.
189
00:08:54,819 --> 00:08:56,053
[SIGHS]
190
00:08:56,153 --> 00:08:58,089
Well, Dale's Dead Bug
gets us nothing.
191
00:08:58,222 --> 00:08:59,657
If you want to play hardball,
192
00:08:59,757 --> 00:09:01,158
we could probably
take Gribble's house.
193
00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:02,927
Yeah, let's take
Gribble's house.
194
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,795
No, don't take Gribble's house!
195
00:09:04,896 --> 00:09:06,530
Believe me, you don't want it.
196
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:08,599
There's so many liens
and assessments against it,
197
00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:10,134
Gribble barely owns it.
198
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:12,236
Yeah. Well, it's still
better than nothing.
199
00:09:12,336 --> 00:09:13,638
I'm sorry, Dale.
200
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,973
Damn Hank for making me
hire you!
201
00:09:16,841 --> 00:09:18,009
Hank?
202
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:19,977
Who's Hank?
203
00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:25,316
We have a 24-hour rule here,
Joe Jack.
204
00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:29,654
Good news, Hank.
205
00:09:29,754 --> 00:09:31,522
Luckys not suing me anymore.
206
00:09:31,656 --> 00:09:33,257
We've resolved everything.
207
00:09:33,424 --> 00:09:34,692
Oh, thank God.
208
00:09:34,859 --> 00:09:37,028
Sol guess that means
you two are going to have
209
00:09:37,128 --> 00:09:39,864
a sensible, inexpensive
wedding after all, huh?
210
00:09:40,031 --> 00:09:42,667
Nuh-uh, it's gonna be a blowout!
211
00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:44,101
JOHNSON:
Mr. Hill,
212
00:09:44,302 --> 00:09:46,337
I have filed a lawsuit
on behalf of my client
213
00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:48,306
- against Strickland Propane.
- HANK: What?!
214
00:09:48,506 --> 00:09:50,308
How can you possibly
sue Strickland?
215
00:09:50,508 --> 00:09:53,244
Because it was you, as a
Strickland Propane employee,
216
00:09:53,444 --> 00:09:55,913
who set this tragic chain
of events in motion.
217
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,882
Yeah, none of this
would have happened
218
00:09:57,982 --> 00:09:59,984
if you hadn't persuaded
me to hire Lucky.
219
00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:04,455
Oh! I'm getting
my dream wedding!
220
00:10:04,622 --> 00:10:06,157
Let me get a hug, too.
221
00:10:06,223 --> 00:10:07,391
[LUANNE SQUEALS]
222
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,226
Uncle Hank,
bring your leg over here
223
00:10:09,293 --> 00:10:10,861
It's the best I can do.
224
00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:18,903
You explain to me how
Strickland had anything to do
225
00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:21,739
with Lucky getting hurt --
and no mumbo jumbo.
226
00:10:21,906 --> 00:10:24,642
Strickland Propane
is what the law refers to
227
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:26,411
as the "respondent superior."
228
00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:29,247
That's mumbo jumbo
for when an employer --
229
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,149
Strickland Propane --
is responsible
230
00:10:31,249 --> 00:10:34,786
for the wrongful acts
of its employee -- you.
231
00:10:38,256 --> 00:10:40,859
Buck's making a dash
for his Caddy!
232
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,230
Uh, we've got a
situation here, Buck.
233
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:46,798
I know it, Ol' Top.
234
00:10:46,898 --> 00:10:51,503
Got my trouble bag,
and I'm headed for the border.
235
00:10:56,508 --> 00:10:58,443
Since you're jobless,
236
00:10:58,576 --> 00:11:01,212
we can take as long
a honeymoon as we want.
237
00:11:02,981 --> 00:11:04,582
What are you so mad about?
238
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:06,417
Strickland Propane's
got the insurance
239
00:11:06,484 --> 00:11:07,752
to pay for everything.
240
00:11:07,919 --> 00:11:09,454
Because it's wrong!
241
00:11:09,521 --> 00:11:12,824
Frivolous lawsuits are chasing
good people out of business,
242
00:11:12,891 --> 00:11:14,692
people who sell propane,
243
00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:17,061
people who manufacture
flu vaccine,
244
00:11:17,161 --> 00:11:18,897
and people who make lawn darts.
245
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:21,599
And one day, because
of all the damn lawyers,
246
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:24,602
there might not even be
any doctors to deliver babies.
247
00:11:24,702 --> 00:11:26,871
I get the propane and doctors,
248
00:11:27,071 --> 00:11:29,140
but what's wrong with lawn darts?
249
00:11:37,115 --> 00:11:40,318
I hate to see a man
Armor-All his truck in anger.
250
00:11:40,485 --> 00:11:43,221
I guess you got every right
to be mad at me, Uncle Hank,
251
00:11:43,321 --> 00:11:45,723
but Luanne wants
her dream wedding pretty bad.
252
00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:48,560
So you're going to sue innocent
people to give it to her?
253
00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:52,597
Look, Lucky, this isn't just
about getting out of my house
254
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,666
or throwing
an extravagant wedding.
255
00:11:54,832 --> 00:11:56,501
This is about
knowing the difference
256
00:11:56,601 --> 00:11:59,537
between right and wrong so you
can teach it to your kids.
257
00:12:05,677 --> 00:12:08,813
So you ate the warning label
and choked on it?
258
00:12:09,013 --> 00:12:11,449
Yeah, and now I want to sue
someone for a lot of money.
259
00:12:11,683 --> 00:12:14,285
- You're the boss, Jimmy.
- I'm the boss!
260
00:12:17,322 --> 00:12:20,224
Mr. Johnson, I want
to drop the lawsuit.
261
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:23,328
I don't feel right about
suing Strickland Propane.
262
00:12:23,428 --> 00:12:24,829
They didn't do nothin' wrong.
263
00:12:25,029 --> 00:12:27,231
Well, they were in the wrong
place at the wrong time.
264
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:28,800
That's two wrongs.
265
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:30,768
Look, Lucky,
266
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,337
you've got a winner of a case.
267
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:34,238
I'd be guilty
of legal malpractice
268
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:35,773
if I let you drop it.
269
00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:37,809
You don't want me
to lose my license, do you?
270
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:39,978
[SIGHS]
271
00:12:42,614 --> 00:12:44,215
For God's sake, Bill,
272
00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:45,883
you've been picking,
haven't you?
273
00:12:45,984 --> 00:12:48,419
I'm sorry, Hank, I'm a picker.
274
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,855
Uncle Hank,
I tried to drop the lawsuit,
275
00:12:51,022 --> 00:12:53,224
but Lawyer Johnson
explained to me in lawyer talk
276
00:12:53,324 --> 00:12:54,859
how it couldn't be done.
277
00:12:55,026 --> 00:12:56,094
[SIGHS]
278
00:12:56,227 --> 00:12:58,496
I guess we're going to have
to hire a lawyer of our own.
279
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:01,499
Buck's got a list of them
taped under his desk.
280
00:13:01,566 --> 00:13:03,067
Unless...
281
00:13:03,134 --> 00:13:05,536
But most of Buck's lawyers
are paternity guys.
282
00:13:05,637 --> 00:13:07,171
I said unless!
283
00:13:07,572 --> 00:13:08,973
Thank you.
284
00:13:09,173 --> 00:13:11,976
Okay, everyone always fakes
an injury so they can sue.
285
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:14,145
But just suppose
Lucky were to fake
286
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:17,081
not being injured
so he couldn't sue.
287
00:13:17,181 --> 00:13:20,785
Elegant, unexpected, not clich�.
288
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:21,953
Huh.
289
00:13:22,053 --> 00:13:24,155
If we make it look like
Lucky's not hurt,
290
00:13:24,288 --> 00:13:26,658
then Johnson can't
make money on this case.
291
00:13:26,724 --> 00:13:28,726
I bet he'll drop it
in a heartbeat.
292
00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,398
All right, you ready?
293
00:13:33,498 --> 00:13:34,932
I reckon.
294
00:13:34,999 --> 00:13:36,668
[GROANS]
295
00:13:40,538 --> 00:13:42,140
That's the ladies' tee.
296
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,075
I ain't hitting
from the ladies' tee.
297
00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:45,977
It really doesn't matter.
298
00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:48,179
I ain't hitting
from the ladies' tee.
299
00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:50,415
[GROANS]
All right.
300
00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:56,254
Action.
301
00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:05,463
Cut.
Ow...!
302
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:13,137
I know you're in misery, Lucky,
but just try to hold it together
303
00:14:13,237 --> 00:14:16,007
long enough for Johnson
to see the tape.
304
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:19,043
Well, this is an
unexpected visit.
305
00:14:19,243 --> 00:14:20,945
But they cost the same
as any other...
306
00:14:21,045 --> 00:14:22,146
$400 an hour.
307
00:14:22,346 --> 00:14:23,981
Well, this won't take long.
308
00:14:24,082 --> 00:14:26,150
I caught this joker red-handed.
309
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,952
He's faking his injuries.
310
00:14:28,052 --> 00:14:30,755
I give you exhibit A.
311
00:14:36,661 --> 00:14:38,429
Ain't this a curve ball.
312
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:42,100
This tape is shown in court,
Mr. Hill and Strickland Propane
313
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,901
are off the hook.
314
00:14:44,102 --> 00:14:47,705
Well, if Strickland Propane's
deep pockets are closed,
315
00:14:47,839 --> 00:14:50,575
then Lucky's gonna have
some sizeable legal fees
316
00:14:50,675 --> 00:14:52,543
to settle... himself.
317
00:14:52,744 --> 00:14:54,178
I reckon that's fair.
318
00:14:54,278 --> 00:14:58,282
As soon as I get a job,
I'll put in for overtime.
319
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:11,062
Thanks.
320
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,601
Well, I'm not your
got dang maid.
321
00:15:18,069 --> 00:15:20,104
- Allow me!
- I'll get it.
322
00:15:22,306 --> 00:15:24,275
Let the man with the
perfectly healthy back pick it up.
323
00:15:30,882 --> 00:15:32,950
[GROANS]
324
00:15:40,324 --> 00:15:41,559
Dale?
325
00:15:41,659 --> 00:15:43,060
You look like a bug.
326
00:15:43,227 --> 00:15:43,995
What?
327
00:15:44,228 --> 00:15:45,863
I said you look like a bug.
328
00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:48,132
And I know what to do with bugs.
329
00:15:48,299 --> 00:15:49,367
Remember?
330
00:15:49,534 --> 00:15:50,568
Uh...
331
00:15:56,007 --> 00:15:58,442
I believe I do.
332
00:15:59,744 --> 00:16:01,345
En garde!
333
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:03,080
[SCREAMS]
334
00:16:03,281 --> 00:16:04,081
[SCREAMS]
335
00:16:04,248 --> 00:16:06,350
Oh, my God!
My back!
336
00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:07,518
I can't move!
337
00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:11,656
What the heck
is wrong with you?!
338
00:16:11,756 --> 00:16:15,560
Oh, uh, these two are always
horsing around with each other,
339
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,995
whether it's on the
stairs of Dale's house
340
00:16:18,095 --> 00:16:19,397
or inside your office.
341
00:16:19,597 --> 00:16:21,232
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on here.
342
00:16:21,332 --> 00:16:22,600
You can't blame this on me.
343
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,101
Well, sure we can.
344
00:16:24,268 --> 00:16:25,903
According to this tape,
Lucky was healthy
345
00:16:25,970 --> 00:16:27,805
until he got to your office.
346
00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:29,507
I'm sure there's
plenty of lawyers
347
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,843
who would like to help
us make that case.
348
00:16:31,943 --> 00:16:33,778
Okay, okay, I hear you.
349
00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:36,914
I'll pay your usual settlement
quote, but not a penny more.
350
00:16:41,219 --> 00:16:43,721
$53,000!
351
00:16:43,888 --> 00:16:47,358
We could pay LeAnn Rimes to
sing "Here Comes the Bride!"
352
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,861
Yeah, I suppose
we could do that.
353
00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:53,397
Or we could use the money
for something more responsible.
354
00:16:53,497 --> 00:16:54,966
How does that sound?
355
00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:57,468
Sounds like you've been
talking to Uncle Hank.
356
00:16:57,635 --> 00:16:59,136
Hear me out, baby girl.
357
00:16:59,203 --> 00:17:02,273
We could have a small wedding
here, and use this money
358
00:17:02,406 --> 00:17:04,942
to put a down payment
on that house across the way,
359
00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:09,480
cover expenses while I find
a job, and buy more of these.
360
00:17:09,881 --> 00:17:14,552
Our baby has a wardrobe to
wear, in our new house?!
361
00:17:15,186 --> 00:17:16,621
I love you, Luanne.
362
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:19,457
I love you, too, Lucky.
363
00:17:25,162 --> 00:17:29,267
Eh! I have been told not
to let anyone see the bride.
364
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,636
[SIGHS] Just let me
in the door, son.
365
00:17:31,836 --> 00:17:33,271
[KNOCKING]
366
00:17:33,471 --> 00:17:35,172
My dad's here to see you.
367
00:17:35,273 --> 00:17:36,607
LUANNE:
Let him in.
368
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:40,711
Uncle Hank,
I'm glad you gave Lucky and me
369
00:17:40,778 --> 00:17:44,715
a simple, plain wedding that...
doesn't really stand out,
370
00:17:44,849 --> 00:17:47,084
that could be anyone's, really.
371
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,820
The folding chairs
are very nice.
372
00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:51,989
Look, Luanne,
I know I didn't give you
373
00:17:52,123 --> 00:17:56,060
the wedding cake made of gold
or the Jaguar ad of your dreams,
374
00:17:56,127 --> 00:17:59,030
but I wanted you to have this
as a wedding present.
375
00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:00,831
Is it a bill?
376
00:18:00,932 --> 00:18:04,235
It's a Fun Fare to anywhere
you and Lucky want to go
377
00:18:04,368 --> 00:18:07,171
for your honeymoon in the
continental United States.
378
00:18:07,471 --> 00:18:09,740
Some restrictions do apply.
379
00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:11,676
[GASPS]
We could go to Dollywood!
380
00:18:11,876 --> 00:18:14,211
[GASPS]
Or the real Mystic Pizza!
381
00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:16,480
Oh...
382
00:18:16,647 --> 00:18:19,150
[SOBBING]
Oh, thank you!
383
00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:26,190
I'm sorry to interrupt,
but Reverend Stroop is here.
384
00:18:31,495 --> 00:18:32,930
Yuh-huh.
385
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:37,535
I'll take it that by "yuh-huh,"
Luanne is saying "I do."
386
00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:38,836
Yuh-huh!
387
00:18:39,003 --> 00:18:41,339
Then I pronounce
Elroy Kleinschmidt
388
00:18:41,439 --> 00:18:42,707
and Luanne Platter
389
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:44,475
man and wife.
390
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:47,011
You may now kiss the bride.
391
00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:53,150
[BURPS LOUDLY]
392
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:56,620
[GUNSHOT]
393
00:18:56,721 --> 00:18:57,688
Let's celebrate!
394
00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:00,858
Mr. Kahn, I'll have a mai tai!
395
00:19:03,627 --> 00:19:07,498
[PLAYING "WEDDING MARCH"]
396
00:19:21,412 --> 00:19:23,247
[PLAYING "FEELS SO GOOD"]
397
00:19:24,615 --> 00:19:27,718
[CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING]
398
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,755
This isn't rice.
399
00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:32,857
It's bird seed, dude.
400
00:19:36,127 --> 00:19:37,461
[LAUGHS]
401
00:19:39,797 --> 00:19:41,465
LUANNE:
Bye!
402
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:44,268
Okay, I'm gonna throw it now.
403
00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:48,739
I got it!
404
00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,608
Connie, you drop that right now!
405
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:53,044
And wash your hands!
406
00:19:56,414 --> 00:19:58,849
This is a blessed day.
407
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:00,985
Now, who wants to rock?!
408
00:20:01,085 --> 00:20:03,687
[SHOUTS OF AGREEMENT]
409
00:20:09,326 --> 00:20:10,828
REDCORN:
? Hey, little sister ?
410
00:20:10,928 --> 00:20:13,097
? What have you done ?
411
00:20:13,197 --> 00:20:14,965
? Hey, little sister ?
412
00:20:15,032 --> 00:20:17,101
? Who's the only one ?
413
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,604
Hey, Minh, it's our song!
414
00:20:23,707 --> 00:20:25,209
[GRUNTING]
415
00:20:25,309 --> 00:20:27,078
Hold on, baby doll.
416
00:20:27,178 --> 00:20:28,379
[STRAINING]
417
00:20:28,546 --> 00:20:30,648
Come on, Bobby,
let's help them out.
418
00:20:35,486 --> 00:20:37,221
Wow, man, tell you what, man,
419
00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,290
like the dang ol'
enormity of it all, man.
420
00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:40,391
Wow.
421
00:20:40,624 --> 00:20:42,626
You just gave away
a bride, Hank.
422
00:20:42,827 --> 00:20:47,131
I know. I've got, uh,
well, I'd guess you'd call it...
423
00:20:47,231 --> 00:20:48,466
emotions.
424
00:20:48,599 --> 00:20:49,834
DALE:
Me, too.
425
00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:51,769
I'm a sucker for weddings!
426
00:20:51,902 --> 00:20:54,305
All the flowers
and the loving vows
427
00:20:54,405 --> 00:20:58,209
and the ring pillow
and... [SOBS]
428
00:20:58,342 --> 00:20:59,810
I'm sorry.
429
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:02,113
[BOTH SOBBING]
430
00:21:02,246 --> 00:21:04,248
[CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES]
431
00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:06,951
Yep.
432
00:21:07,051 --> 00:21:08,219
Yep.
433
00:21:08,319 --> 00:21:09,787
Mm-hmm.
434
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,622
Yep.
435
00:21:48,209 --> 00:21:50,745
STRICKLAND EMPLOYEES:
With liberty and justice for all.
436
00:21:50,795 --> 00:21:55,345
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31099
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof