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1
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,641
[SLURPS]
2
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,309
Gentlemen,
3
00:00:34,518 --> 00:00:36,979
do not be alarmed if you
hear any loud noises
4
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,648
coming from my property
over the next few days.
5
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,025
I'm just blowing stuff up.
6
00:00:42,151 --> 00:00:44,027
Look what I found
at the library!
7
00:00:44,236 --> 00:00:46,280
How to Blow Stuff Up!
8
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,656
You're making a bomb?
9
00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:50,075
Several. I'm engaged
in an arms race
10
00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,327
with an exterminator
in McMaynerberry.
11
00:00:52,494 --> 00:00:54,621
You could get in a lot of
trouble for this, Dale.
12
00:00:54,705 --> 00:00:58,041
I'm pretty sure the government
keeps track of books like that.
13
00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,626
At least I hope they do.
14
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:03,422
You mean Rusty Shackleford
could get in a lot of trouble.
15
00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:07,009
I have a library card
in his name. Sha-sha!
16
00:01:07,217 --> 00:01:09,845
[SIGHS] Are you still
pretending to be that guy?
17
00:01:10,053 --> 00:01:11,430
It's a victimless crime,
18
00:01:11,513 --> 00:01:13,599
like eating grapes
at the supermarket.
19
00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:16,810
Or stealing coupons from
Hank's Sunday newspaper...
20
00:01:16,935 --> 00:01:18,479
Boomhauer.
21
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,984
I want you to all look at
the plate in front of you...
22
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,027
What do you see?
23
00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:25,944
Steak!
24
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,863
That's right. Steak.
25
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,074
That's what you eat when you're
a member of Team Sizemore,
26
00:01:31,283 --> 00:01:34,411
the number one Realtor
in Heimlich County.
27
00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:36,872
But this month's top sellers
get something more.
28
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,791
They get to eat steak...
with me.
29
00:01:39,958 --> 00:01:42,544
Oh, the view must be great
from up there.
30
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,463
And this month's
lucky diner is...
31
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:45,631
[QUIETLY]
Peggy Hill!
32
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,424
Candi and Roger!
33
00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:48,926
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
34
00:01:49,134 --> 00:01:50,552
Damn it!
35
00:01:50,761 --> 00:01:52,262
[LAUGHS]
Come on, you two!
36
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,431
Bring your steaks on up here.
37
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:55,641
[APPLAUDING]
38
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,142
Ta-ta!
39
00:02:00,062 --> 00:02:01,813
It's easy to be
the top salesperson
40
00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:03,440
when you sell Arlen Heights.
41
00:02:03,607 --> 00:02:05,317
Peggy is the real hero...
42
00:02:05,499 --> 00:02:07,903
Trying to move those houses
in Belcher's Grove.
43
00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,488
- [CHUCKLES]
- CANDI: Don't worry,
44
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:10,906
you'll get here one day,
45
00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:12,699
one shack at a time.
46
00:02:12,908 --> 00:02:15,369
- [CANDI CHUCKLING]
- ROGER: Oh! Ooh, ouch.
47
00:02:16,662 --> 00:02:19,164
Why do we have to
watch a foreign movie?
48
00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:20,541
If it was any good,
49
00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:22,251
they would've made
an American version.
50
00:02:22,334 --> 00:02:24,753
Do you think
I am enjoying this? No.
51
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:28,632
But I need upscale clients
in places like Arlen Heights.
52
00:02:28,799 --> 00:02:30,759
Wealthy people like culture.
53
00:02:30,926 --> 00:02:33,804
Cultured people watch
foreign movies.
54
00:02:33,929 --> 00:02:35,931
Something's happening!
55
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,684
[MAN ON TV GROANS]
56
00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:40,394
[SIGHS]
This is ridiculous.
57
00:02:40,477 --> 00:02:41,812
Ridiculous?!
58
00:02:41,937 --> 00:02:43,480
Are you kidding, Dad?
59
00:02:43,647 --> 00:02:46,483
Colette is gonna
leave Etienne for Claude
60
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,194
because Etienne has malaise.
61
00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:50,571
Malaise!
62
00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:53,991
That guy just sprouted wings.
63
00:02:54,116 --> 00:02:56,994
All right, that's it, Peggy,
I'm gonna have to ask you
64
00:02:57,119 --> 00:02:58,745
to relinquish
the remote control.
65
00:02:58,954 --> 00:03:01,164
Fine! I'll watch the rest
at Minh's.
66
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:03,959
I bet she likes foreign movies...
She's a foreigner.
67
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,877
To her, it's just a movie.
68
00:03:06,837 --> 00:03:08,213
TED:
Dinner was splendid.
69
00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:11,258
I suppose it would be appropriate
for us to reciprocate.
70
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,051
We're having a party
this weekend.
71
00:03:13,135 --> 00:03:14,720
We'd love it if
you could make it.
72
00:03:14,886 --> 00:03:17,306
Oh, we'll be there!
73
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,916
And then maybe this summer,
we come visit
74
00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:20,450
at your beach house on the Gulf.
75
00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:22,311
Uh... of course.
76
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,937
Well, let's set a date!
77
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,397
I get calendar.
78
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:27,566
Please, do not
make this awkward.
79
00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,109
[DOORBELL RINGS]
80
00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:30,713
I'll get it.
81
00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:33,655
Oh, it's the Wassonasongs.
82
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,532
[GASPS]
Of Arlen Heights!
83
00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:37,367
Well, how is life
in The Heights?
84
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,828
You know, I'm a realtor...
Are you looking to sell?
85
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,372
Because I just watched
this wonderful French movie.
86
00:03:43,248 --> 00:03:47,002
Actually, Ted and I are
thinking about selling our house.
87
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,754
We're having a little
party this weekend.
88
00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:50,922
You should come...
We could talk more.
89
00:03:51,089 --> 00:03:51,923
[GASPS]
90
00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:53,925
Make sure new
guesthouse has big room,
91
00:03:54,051 --> 00:03:56,428
so I can drop off
present... me!
92
00:03:58,764 --> 00:04:00,307
[DALE HUMMING A TUNE]
93
00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:05,270
"Set the timer and retreat
to a safe distance."
94
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:06,688
'Kay.
95
00:04:17,032 --> 00:04:18,617
Oh, my lucky hat!
96
00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:24,915
[RELIEVED SIGH]
97
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,084
My smokes!
98
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,169
[EXPLOSION]
99
00:04:30,087 --> 00:04:31,838
Thanks for the ride, Hank.
100
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,840
If I pass out before
we get to the hospital,
101
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:36,551
tell them my name
is Rusty Shackleford.
102
00:04:36,718 --> 00:04:39,262
He's got great insurance...
Medicaid.
103
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,932
This is the dumbest
thing you've ever done.
104
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,350
You could have lost a finger.
105
00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:47,562
C-Correction: Rusty Shackleford
could have lost a finger.
106
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,064
[SIGHS]
107
00:04:53,485 --> 00:04:55,445
Hello. I'm Peggy Hill.
108
00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,531
I'm a guest of the Wassonasongs.
109
00:04:57,739 --> 00:04:59,324
You're on the list.
110
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,410
Welcome to Arlen Heights.
111
00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:12,796
Peggy! Come on in.
112
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,840
Oh, I'm not trying
to pressure you,
113
00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:17,801
but I thought I'd bring
this sign in just in case.
114
00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:27,894
[QUIETLY]
Jackpot!
115
00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:32,441
Hi. Peggy Hill,
Sizemore Realty.
116
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:35,193
Hello. Peggy Hill,
Sizemore Realty.
117
00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:36,862
MRS. WASSONASONG:
Take your seats, everybody.
118
00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:38,613
The presentation
is about to begin.
119
00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:39,865
Presentation?
120
00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:41,950
That's right.
All the products you see
121
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:44,494
in this kitchen are made
by the Cozy Kitchen Company,
122
00:05:44,619 --> 00:05:47,497
and I am your Cozy Kitchen
saleslady.
123
00:05:47,706 --> 00:05:50,625
Hey, this not a party.
It's an ambush.
124
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,836
You think
if we buy fancy corkscrew,
125
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,504
we'll get invited
to beach house?
126
00:05:54,713 --> 00:05:57,132
[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]
I know what I'm buying...
127
00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,135
A giant spatula
to flip this house.
128
00:06:00,302 --> 00:06:01,928
[DOORBELL RINGS]
129
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,975
Dale Gribble?
130
00:06:07,142 --> 00:06:08,935
Maybe. Who's asking?
131
00:06:09,186 --> 00:06:10,854
Rusty Shackleford.
132
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,190
- Du... Wha...?!
- It's me, Dale.
133
00:06:13,398 --> 00:06:14,691
But-- But that's impossible.
134
00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:16,526
Rusty died in third grade.
135
00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:18,487
I didn't die. I moved.
136
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,238
You need to stop using
my name, Dale.
137
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,908
I am not using your name.
And I am not Dale!
138
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,993
Come on, Dale,
you're smoking the same brand
139
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,870
of cigarettes you did
in the third grade.
140
00:06:28,246 --> 00:06:30,207
Get off my property,
whoever I am!
141
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,918
[SIREN BLARING]
142
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,714
Ta-da!
143
00:06:37,923 --> 00:06:40,217
Cozy Kitchen makes spaghetti
so authentic
144
00:06:40,342 --> 00:06:42,552
you'll say "Mama Mia!"
145
00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:43,428
[LAUGHS]
146
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,265
[ANGRY GROAN]
147
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:51,061
Now, let's mingle
and place orders.
148
00:06:51,603 --> 00:06:55,148
One five-bedroom colonial
with a side of multiple offers?
149
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,067
[BOTH LAUGH]
150
00:06:57,192 --> 00:06:59,444
Oh Peggy, you're a delight.
151
00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:01,863
But I'm having second
thoughts about moving.
152
00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:03,865
What? You can't.
153
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,284
This is my way
into Arlen Heights.
154
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,537
Is it the commission?
I'll cut it in half.
155
00:07:08,703 --> 00:07:10,038
Oh, it's not the commission.
156
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,706
These people aren't
just my customers,
157
00:07:11,873 --> 00:07:13,458
they've become my friends.
158
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:15,377
Who will take care of them?
159
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,337
I will... I will take over
160
00:07:17,462 --> 00:07:19,714
as Cozy Kitchen
representative for you.
161
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,676
I will sell your house;
I'll even help you pack.
162
00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:24,719
I am a full-service realtor.
163
00:07:24,928 --> 00:07:28,014
Wow, Peggy, you sure are
making this easy for me.
164
00:07:28,139 --> 00:07:30,475
But I need to talk to Ted first.
165
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,359
It's done. We're free.
166
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,819
Super.
167
00:07:40,902 --> 00:07:42,571
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
168
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:49,202
So wait, how is selling
kitchen appliances
169
00:07:49,327 --> 00:07:51,079
gonna help you sell houses?
170
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,331
Cozy Kitchen gets me
in the door,
171
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,167
then Peggy the Realtor
sells the house.
172
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,169
Look at all these free samples.
173
00:07:58,295 --> 00:07:59,963
You see this can opener, Hank?
174
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:02,757
This is also a door opener.
175
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:06,845
Wow! A toaster
that only cooks hot dogs?
176
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,264
That's not a toaster, Bobby.
What is it?
177
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,766
A door opener!
178
00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:12,809
Exactly!
179
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:14,603
And once I open enough doors,
180
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,054
I will be the top seller
181
00:08:16,187 --> 00:08:18,815
eating steak at Chris's table.
182
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,445
What are you doing here?
183
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:25,447
You're along way
from Belcher's Grove.
184
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,407
Peggy, I've been wondering...
In Belcher's,
185
00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,910
do you count a couch on
the roof as a family room?
186
00:08:30,035 --> 00:08:30,869
[LAUGHS]
187
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,704
[CHUCKLES]
Oh-ho-ho, sometimes.
188
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:35,832
But right now,
I'm visiting clients.
189
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,047
PEGGY:
Ta-ta!
190
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,090
[DOORBELL RINGS]
191
00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:45,300
Hi.
192
00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:46,635
I am Peggy Hill,
193
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,262
member of Sizemore Realty,
and your new
194
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,722
Cozy Kitchen...
195
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,223
representative.
196
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:55,769
[SHOUTS] I'm leaving a
free sample and my card.
197
00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:11,284
I-I really need to talk to Dale.
198
00:09:11,368 --> 00:09:13,161
I'm trying to get
a small business loan,
199
00:09:13,244 --> 00:09:14,996
but the bank thinks
I'm the same guy
200
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,041
who skipped town on a string
of failing alpaca farms.
201
00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:20,418
Well, if we see him,
we'll give him the message.
202
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:22,337
I want to handle this
like gentlemen, but...
203
00:09:22,504 --> 00:09:24,798
well, I'm not leaving town
until it's sorted out.
204
00:09:24,923 --> 00:09:26,675
Nice meeting you!
205
00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:30,804
Did you hear that?
206
00:09:30,887 --> 00:09:31,972
He's not leaving.
207
00:09:32,097 --> 00:09:33,390
[GRUNTS]
208
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,016
He's gonna hunt me
like an animal
209
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,018
and kill me...
like an animal!
210
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,853
I was never here!
211
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,483
Could someone toss me a beer.
212
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,529
Can I help you?
213
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:51,116
Hey there. I'm Judy Barnes,
Cozy Kitchen Corporate.
214
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:54,160
I just wanted to stop by
to welcome you in person.
215
00:09:54,244 --> 00:09:55,787
It's fun, isn't it?
216
00:09:55,954 --> 00:09:58,123
Well, I'm not getting
the warmest reaction,
217
00:09:58,248 --> 00:10:01,376
and the free samples didn't
help out as much I expected.
218
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,421
That wasn't a sample kit, silly.
219
00:10:04,546 --> 00:10:07,007
That was your first
inventory shipment.
220
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:09,009
Aw, well, potato, po-tah-to.
221
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,719
No. Potato.
222
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,513
You owe us money, lots of money.
223
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,100
You probably don't realize how
threatening you're coming off,
224
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,685
even with the smile.
225
00:10:18,893 --> 00:10:20,770
Peggy, bless your heart.
226
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,732
I don't think you understand
how deep you're in.
227
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:26,609
I suggest you read
your contract.
228
00:10:28,737 --> 00:10:30,655
"No right to arbitration...
229
00:10:30,739 --> 00:10:32,991
serious financial
ramifications."
230
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,951
And it's not
just the starter kit!
231
00:10:35,076 --> 00:10:37,078
I also have monthly quotas!
232
00:10:37,162 --> 00:10:38,621
They've got me over a barrel.
233
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,582
This is just like
that time I had
234
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,043
to sell all those
candy bars for school.
235
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:47,005
Is there any way you can eat
your way out of this?
236
00:10:47,088 --> 00:10:48,548
I'm afraid not, Bobby.
237
00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:51,134
I need to get
those samples back.
238
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,978
Excuse me,
the gate isn't working.
239
00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:03,813
We had to change all the codes.
240
00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:05,940
Some saleslady
was harassing people.
241
00:11:06,107 --> 00:11:07,442
I see.
242
00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:09,486
You know what
that guard shack needs?
243
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:11,946
A panini maker.
244
00:11:12,614 --> 00:11:14,240
Please exit the Heights.
245
00:11:14,783 --> 00:11:17,160
[HORNS HONKING]
246
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,130
What's all this?
247
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,590
Next month's product.
248
00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:31,966
Your garage was locked.
249
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,802
I hope you don't mind,
we used a crow bar.
250
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:36,262
But I haven't sold
this month's product yet.
251
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,555
If I were you,
252
00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:39,140
I'd quit arguing
and start selling...
253
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:42,894
because Cozy Kitchen is going
to get their money
254
00:11:42,977 --> 00:11:44,354
one way or the other.
255
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,564
[ENGINE CRANKING]
256
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,691
Love your roses!
257
00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:55,198
Oh, hey, sug'. What's up?
258
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:57,325
I came over to apologize.
259
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:01,037
I have been so busy selling
Cozy Kitchen to Arlen Heights,
260
00:12:01,162 --> 00:12:03,331
I've completely
ignored my friends.
261
00:12:03,414 --> 00:12:04,207
Here.
262
00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:06,292
Just circle what you want.
263
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,046
Okay, um...
264
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:12,799
Oh!
265
00:12:13,007 --> 00:12:14,175
I'll take one of these.
266
00:12:14,425 --> 00:12:16,427
A vegetable peeler?
267
00:12:16,553 --> 00:12:19,764
A $12 vegetable peeler?!
268
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:21,432
Well, I don't need
anything else.
269
00:12:21,558 --> 00:12:23,434
Who cares?!
How about a juicer?
270
00:12:23,518 --> 00:12:24,561
A crepe pan?
271
00:12:24,686 --> 00:12:26,020
Help me out.
I'm dying here!
272
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:27,689
You're hurtin' me, sug'.
273
00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:28,690
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
274
00:12:55,425 --> 00:12:56,593
[THUMP]
275
00:12:56,885 --> 00:12:59,095
Peggy? What are you doing?
276
00:12:59,262 --> 00:13:01,431
I tried calling,
but you didn't answer.
277
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,100
Cozy Kitchen
is not going so well.
278
00:13:04,225 --> 00:13:06,436
But it's okay,
I have the perfect solution:
279
00:13:06,477 --> 00:13:08,646
Let's get this house
on the market, huh?
280
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,899
About the house, Peggy...
281
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,400
It's just, a...
282
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,152
a bad time of year for us...
283
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,361
and, uh...
284
00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:17,697
Oh, for goodness sake, Cindy,
look at her. Just tell her.
285
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:21,201
You're not planning
to sell the house, are you?
286
00:13:21,618 --> 00:13:22,869
No.
287
00:13:22,952 --> 00:13:24,037
I'm sorry.
288
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,289
I had to get out of my contract
and the only way
289
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,499
was to find a replacement.
290
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,876
We did what we had to do.
291
00:13:30,084 --> 00:13:32,170
We tried to disappear
from the face of the Earth
292
00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:33,838
by holing up at our beach house.
293
00:13:33,922 --> 00:13:35,089
It's on an island!
294
00:13:35,256 --> 00:13:36,549
They still found us.
295
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:38,426
They have motorboats, Peggy!
296
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:39,469
Motorboats.
297
00:13:39,677 --> 00:13:40,929
CINDY:
You have no idea
298
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,764
what Cozy Kitchen is capable of.
299
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:43,973
If you want out,
300
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:46,309
you have to find a better way
to disappear than we did.
301
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,144
Or find your own patsy.
302
00:13:50,605 --> 00:13:53,775
LUANNE: I'm going to be a
Cozy Kitchen representative.
303
00:13:53,983 --> 00:13:56,194
Oh, thank you, Aunt Peggy.
304
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,737
I'm gonna wear pink,
305
00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:59,113
and learn to cook and...
306
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:01,991
and, oh, God, oh, God,
I can't believe
307
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,701
I have this great job!
308
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,078
You hear that, baby?
309
00:14:05,203 --> 00:14:06,496
We're gonna be okay!
310
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,372
Stop!
311
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,123
I cannot let you do this.
312
00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:11,793
But you promised.
313
00:14:11,996 --> 00:14:13,331
I - I'm sorry, Luanne.
314
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,380
It's a scam.
315
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,508
I want to sell Cozy Kitchen!
316
00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:23,263
Come on.
317
00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:25,431
One more leprechaun.
318
00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:26,808
Dammit.
319
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,101
[DOORBELL RINGS]
320
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,401
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
321
00:14:49,747 --> 00:14:50,748
DALE:
Ow!
322
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:52,583
Shh!
323
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,965
[WHISPERING]
What are you doing?
324
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,008
Hiding.
325
00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:01,342
And you're blowing my cover!
326
00:15:01,551 --> 00:15:02,844
This is my hedge.
327
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,012
Go find your own.
328
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,263
I was here first.
329
00:15:05,346 --> 00:15:06,723
And Hank deeded
this hedge to me.
330
00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:08,850
He didn't want you to
get it in the divorce.
331
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:09,934
Shh!
332
00:15:22,363 --> 00:15:23,406
Dale?
333
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,491
- Who are you...
- Stifle, woman.
334
00:15:25,616 --> 00:15:27,827
I think I hear
Shackleford's car.
335
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:32,665
Who's Shackleford?
336
00:15:32,874 --> 00:15:34,459
The man whose identity I stole.
337
00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:35,710
Who are you hiding from?
338
00:15:35,877 --> 00:15:36,836
Cozy Kitchen.
339
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,588
The people who
made our vegetable peeler?
340
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,173
That thing's great!
341
00:15:46,387 --> 00:15:49,140
All I wanted was
to sell a big house,
342
00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:51,059
get to sit at Chris's
little table,
343
00:15:51,142 --> 00:15:52,810
and get some respect.
344
00:15:52,977 --> 00:15:54,771
All I wanted was a fall guy,
345
00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,522
so I'd never have to take
responsibility
346
00:15:56,647 --> 00:15:57,982
for my actions.
347
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,234
They're destroying
my realty career.
348
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,903
They're threatening
to take everything,
349
00:16:01,986 --> 00:16:03,613
and I can't tell Hank about it.
350
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,114
I don't know where to turn.
351
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:07,200
Me neither.
There's no escape!
352
00:16:07,408 --> 00:16:09,744
Maybe if I killed myself
he'd leave me alone.
353
00:16:09,911 --> 00:16:12,246
While you're at it,
take me out, too.
354
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,291
Peggy, it would be my pleasure.
355
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:17,752
A murder/suicide pact.
356
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,170
That might work.
357
00:16:19,253 --> 00:16:22,215
If Shackleford and Cozy Kitchen
think we're dead,
358
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,050
they'll stop looking for us.
359
00:16:24,258 --> 00:16:25,802
Let's do it.
360
00:16:25,968 --> 00:16:27,261
I'll pretend to kill you
361
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,180
and then pretend to
take my own life.
362
00:16:29,263 --> 00:16:30,556
Pretend?
363
00:16:30,681 --> 00:16:32,975
Ah, well, I guess I'm still in.
364
00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:36,729
Okay, here's the story.
365
00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,398
We stole Bill's car.
366
00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:39,649
That part's true.
367
00:16:39,857 --> 00:16:41,567
Then we drove it
into the ravine.
368
00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:42,944
And you think that's
really going
369
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,445
to convince people we're dead?
370
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:45,780
How hard can it be?
371
00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:47,407
Shackleford convinced me
he was dead
372
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:48,783
in the third grade.
373
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:59,085
It appears Bill needs
to have his tires aligned.
374
00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:01,379
Run!
375
00:17:05,883 --> 00:17:07,176
Hmm.
376
00:17:09,387 --> 00:17:11,764
Well, Bill's gonna need
a new seat.
377
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,352
After we throw the dummies
into the water,
378
00:17:16,477 --> 00:17:18,479
we leave a suicide note
on the railing.
379
00:17:18,563 --> 00:17:20,773
The swift current will tear
the dummies apart,
380
00:17:20,857 --> 00:17:22,900
and the cops won't find a thing.
381
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,986
Well, then why throw the dummies
in the first place?
382
00:17:25,069 --> 00:17:26,112
Who would even know?
383
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,405
We'd know.
384
00:17:27,488 --> 00:17:29,073
Show a little pride, Peggy.
385
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:30,700
[GARAGE DOOR OPENING]
386
00:17:32,577 --> 00:17:34,328
Oh, Hank. You're home early.
387
00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:35,872
Huh? No, I'm not.
388
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,832
What's going on
with those dummies?
389
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,083
Maybe this is good.
390
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,252
We could use a witness
to our fake deaths.
391
00:17:41,419 --> 00:17:42,462
To your what?
392
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,464
Did I not mention this to you?
393
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:48,176
HANK: What the hell
were you thinking?
394
00:17:48,342 --> 00:17:49,802
I was out of options, Hank.
395
00:17:50,011 --> 00:17:52,889
I couldn't sell a house to cover
the cost of the pots and pans.
396
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,640
If you have any better ideas
397
00:17:54,765 --> 00:17:57,268
than murder-suicide,
I would love to hear them.
398
00:17:57,477 --> 00:18:01,272
Well, why don't you throw one
of those parties like Cindy did?
399
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,648
Yes! That's good!
400
00:18:02,732 --> 00:18:05,193
Then I could find a patsy
that I'm not related to!
401
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,278
No! Then you could
at least prove
402
00:18:07,403 --> 00:18:09,947
to this Judy woman
that you're trying your best.
403
00:18:10,114 --> 00:18:11,657
And then Judy
could tell corporate
404
00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:13,576
what she sees at the party.
405
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:14,994
This could work, Hank.
406
00:18:18,456 --> 00:18:19,540
Judy,
407
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,959
I'm so glad you could make it.
408
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:24,212
I presume you have
a check for me.
409
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,672
We'll talk
after my presentation.
410
00:18:27,256 --> 00:18:28,466
[DOORBELL RINGS]
411
00:18:28,549 --> 00:18:30,384
DALE:
Coming.
412
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,263
Ha ha!
413
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,641
You'll never catch me,
Shackleford!
414
00:18:39,477 --> 00:18:42,730
And thanks to my Cozy Kitchen
nonstick frying pan,
415
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,148
$49.99,
416
00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:46,734
my eggs slide onto the plate.
417
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,152
[APPLAUSE]
418
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,278
Help!
419
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,613
You gotta hide me!
420
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,865
Shackleford is on his way.
421
00:18:53,074 --> 00:18:54,617
Dale, if you are not here
422
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,953
to make a purchase,
I must ask you to leave.
423
00:18:57,078 --> 00:19:00,039
Ah, then I am taking
you as my hostage.
424
00:19:00,164 --> 00:19:01,958
- Ha!
- No!
425
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,043
Oh, Lord.
426
00:19:04,252 --> 00:19:05,336
- Ah!
- Oh!
427
00:19:05,419 --> 00:19:06,504
- Ahh!
- Stop it!
428
00:19:06,587 --> 00:19:07,547
Let go!
429
00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,131
- No!
- Dale!
430
00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:16,681
That does it, Dale,
I will kill you!
431
00:19:16,847 --> 00:19:19,809
If you kill me,
I'm taking you with me!
432
00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:21,102
Oh, no you won't!
433
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,311
Yeah!
[GRUNTING]
434
00:19:24,981 --> 00:19:26,774
- PEGGY: No, stop!
- Sha-shaw!
435
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,245
What the heck is going on?
436
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,539
We still have a chance.
437
00:19:41,664 --> 00:19:43,833
Act like a ghost.
438
00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,256
Wow.
439
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:51,716
This pan's amazing.
440
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,509
I'm riddled with tiny shrapnel,
441
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,678
but it doesn't
have a scratch on it.
442
00:19:55,886 --> 00:19:56,846
- Ooh.
- Hmm.
443
00:19:57,013 --> 00:19:58,681
I could make one
helluva flapjack
444
00:19:58,764 --> 00:19:59,974
with that honey.
445
00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:02,977
Yep, Cozy Kitchen makes
a quality product,
446
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:04,186
I tell you what.
447
00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:06,439
If it can survive an explosion,
448
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,065
imagine how it will stand up
449
00:20:08,149 --> 00:20:10,776
to the demands of
the modern kitchen.
450
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:11,861
I'll take one.
451
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:13,696
Yeah, lemme have one
of those bad boys.
452
00:20:13,863 --> 00:20:14,822
Yeah, me, too.
453
00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,407
Do they come in other sizes?
454
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:18,326
If I sell my entire
inventory today,
455
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,453
will you please let me out
of my contract?
456
00:20:20,661 --> 00:20:21,662
No.
457
00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:23,789
I'm never getting out, am I?
458
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,916
There might be one way.
459
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,670
If corporate thinks I died
in the explosion, too.
460
00:20:30,212 --> 00:20:31,672
Consider it done.
461
00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:35,092
We need to settle this
462
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:37,345
whole identity theft issue
once and for all.
463
00:20:37,511 --> 00:20:39,555
Oh, God, a gun.
464
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,099
Die like a man, Gribble.
Die like a man.
465
00:20:42,391 --> 00:20:44,852
Just sign these forms
so I can get on with my life.
466
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,525
Okay.
467
00:20:52,610 --> 00:20:53,819
You know, Judy,
468
00:20:53,944 --> 00:20:56,364
you're going to need
to disappear for a while.
469
00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:58,115
I know the perfect hideaway,
470
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,701
a sunny two-bedroom
in Arlen Heights.
471
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:01,827
Really?
472
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,245
Mm-hmm. Call me.
473
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,955
We'll set up a tour.
474
00:21:11,545 --> 00:21:14,548
The view really
is beautiful from up here.
475
00:21:53,754 --> 00:21:56,340
- CINDY: They have motorboats, Peggy.
- TED: Motorboats!
476
00:21:56,390 --> 00:22:00,940
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