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00:00:10,827 --> 00:00:14,786
Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:18,790
and 20th CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION
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00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,785
It's a solid grill,
and at this price...
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00:00:37,821 --> 00:00:40,313
WOMAN: Hey! I've been
standing here for 45 minutes!
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00:00:40,357 --> 00:00:42,155
Ma'am, I'm the only one
on the floor today,
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00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:43,853
so if you could just bear
with me, I...
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00:00:43,894 --> 00:00:45,919
Mr. McKenna's delivery
never came.
8
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,089
( Sighs)
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00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,599
Mr. McKenna, we're
a little short-handed...
10
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:54,264
Yeah, I understand you can't
grill an excuse, sir, but ...
11
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,635
Well, sir, I disagree.
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00:00:55,672 --> 00:00:57,936
I don't think a monkey
could do my job.
13
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:05,306
PEGGY:
Hank!
14
00:01:05,349 --> 00:01:06,976
Oh, Hank,
I am so excited.
15
00:01:07,017 --> 00:01:08,951
I just joined
the planning committee
16
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,149
for the first annual
Viva Los Arlentinos Day.
17
00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:13,315
( Sighs)
18
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:14,882
Well, I'm glad you had
a good day.
19
00:01:14,925 --> 00:01:18,020
Mine's been just about
the worst one I can remember.
20
00:01:18,061 --> 00:01:20,052
We had no one
on the sales floor...
21
00:01:20,097 --> 00:01:21,223
It is a festival
22
00:01:21,265 --> 00:01:24,291
celebrating Arlen's rich
Hispanic heritage.
23
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,927
And get this, Hank:
24
00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:28,370
There will be an
actual bull run!
25
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:30,373
Isn't that amazing?!
26
00:01:30,407 --> 00:01:31,374
( Moans )
27
00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:32,569
It could mean a lot
28
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:33,974
of substitute
Spanish teaching gigs.
29
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,537
Hank, I want you to join
the committee and help out.
30
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,547
What do you say?
31
00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:39,811
Peggy, I'm exhausted.
32
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:43,309
I don't have time for some
harebrained bull run.
33
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,947
Well, then, I guess
I won't have time
34
00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:47,753
to prepare
your dinner tonight.
35
00:01:58,935 --> 00:02:01,097
Hill, why aren't you
in the shower?
36
00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:04,540
Uh, well, you know how I am
in gym class.
37
00:02:04,574 --> 00:02:05,837
I barely move.
38
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,072
Why shower if I don't sweat?
39
00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:09,169
Ah, nice try.
40
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,873
That'll get you
an "A" in debate,
41
00:02:10,914 --> 00:02:12,006
but an"F" in gym.
42
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,016
Now, shower!
43
00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:18,346
I always wanted to run
with the bulls.
44
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,857
Sometimes when I'm
being chased by dogs,
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00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,290
I pretend they're bulls.
46
00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:24,385
Geez, Bill, why run
with the bulls?
47
00:02:24,428 --> 00:02:26,362
At your weight
and cholesterol count,
48
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,693
if you want to hasten death,
49
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,063
just jump up and down
a couple of times.
50
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,330
No, I want the
bulls to do it.
51
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,632
Guys, I'm too tired
52
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:36,162
to hear a bunch of nonsense
right now.
53
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:38,072
Bull runs are stupid.
54
00:02:38,108 --> 00:02:39,837
They tried one
in Mesquite last year.
55
00:02:39,876 --> 00:02:42,675
The bulls kept stopping
to eat grass off the sidewalk.
56
00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:44,272
Things have changed, Hank.
57
00:02:44,314 --> 00:02:46,078
Mesquite was a wake-up call.
58
00:02:46,116 --> 00:02:48,278
Now they're pumping the bulls
with testosterone,
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00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:51,515
a bona fide magic elixir
of power.
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00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:54,047
It makes a creature
bigger, faster,
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00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,855
meaner, and smarter.
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00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,360
Like Vin Diesel.
63
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,624
Exactly like Vin Diesel.
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00:02:59,663 --> 00:03:01,995
Our folks are gonna
get trampled and gored
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00:03:02,032 --> 00:03:03,966
in a way those wussies
in Mesquite
66
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,967
could only dream of!
67
00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:06,230
Hey, Bobby.
68
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,464
Hey, Dad.
69
00:03:07,504 --> 00:03:10,030
I'm supposed to ask
you to sign this.
70
00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:12,639
You're flunking P.E.?
71
00:03:12,676 --> 00:03:14,701
Well, how is that
even possible?
72
00:03:14,745 --> 00:03:18,045
Uh, well, I guess I'm just
smaller than the other guys.
73
00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:19,845
I can't keep up.
74
00:03:19,883 --> 00:03:23,046
Son, P.E.isn't
about being strong or fast
75
00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:24,485
or winning points.
76
00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,285
That stuff only matters in...
77
00:03:26,323 --> 00:03:28,917
well, every single
other area of life.
78
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,223
But in P.E., all you
have to do is try.
79
00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:32,228
( Sighs)
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00:03:32,262 --> 00:03:35,664
Okay, I'll try.
81
00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:36,666
( Sighs)
82
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,293
The boy's got no fight
in him.
83
00:03:38,335 --> 00:03:39,666
I don't get it.
84
00:03:39,703 --> 00:03:42,900
He spends five hours a day
playing violent video games.
85
00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:46,671
What's the point if they
don't have any effect on him?
86
00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:50,340
Maybe he's missing
something.
87
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:51,472
Like testosterone!
88
00:03:51,515 --> 00:03:52,539
Dale...
89
00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:54,710
It's the perfect
explanation.
90
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:59,985
Testosterone provides
everything Bobby's missing: energy,
91
00:04:00,023 --> 00:04:04,426
confidence, aggression,
agility, muscle, speed.
92
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,361
Just give him a little
extra to top him off,
93
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:08,626
and sha-sha:
instant puberty.
94
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,759
( Sighs ).
I don't know.
95
00:04:10,801 --> 00:04:14,066
Now, Joseph--
he's bursting with testosterone.
96
00:04:14,104 --> 00:04:17,130
Hey, Joseph,
wanna wrestle?
97
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,335
( Dale screams )
98
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:20,309
Oh, God, it hurts!
99
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,539
It hurts so much!
100
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:24,513
Huh.
101
00:04:24,548 --> 00:04:25,674
( Dale screams )
102
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:31,285
Bobby doesn't need
testosterone.
103
00:04:31,321 --> 00:04:33,517
He needs
his father's acceptance.
104
00:04:33,557 --> 00:04:36,254
If only his glands
could secrete that.
105
00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:38,455
Peggy, we're just taking
a growing boy to a doctor.
106
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:39,792
( Cell phone rings )
107
00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:41,730
There's nothing wrong
with finding out if...
108
00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:42,994
Hello?
109
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,694
What?!
110
00:04:44,734 --> 00:04:46,600
I'll be there as
soon as possible.
111
00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:47,831
Donna's out sick.
112
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,862
Now I've gotta do
all the bookkeeping
113
00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:53,001
while I'm doing Joe Jack's
and Enrique's jobs.
114
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,533
Dang it, dang it!
115
00:04:54,578 --> 00:04:56,910
All the more reason this visit
is a waste of time, Hank.
116
00:04:56,947 --> 00:04:58,005
We should just...
117
00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,574
Peggy, just drop it, okay?
118
00:05:00,617 --> 00:05:03,484
Well, except for being
incurably ticklish,
119
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,454
I'm a hundred percent
healthy!
120
00:05:05,489 --> 00:05:07,116
Bobby, good work!
121
00:05:07,157 --> 00:05:08,886
Now, if you'll
all excuse me,
122
00:05:08,925 --> 00:05:10,791
it turns out
what I gave in the sample cup
123
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:13,853
was only half the story.
124
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,160
So you couldn't
find anything
125
00:05:15,198 --> 00:05:16,495
wrong with him, Doctor?
126
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,694
Nope.
127
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,065
He's developing
at a perfectly normal rate.
128
00:05:19,102 --> 00:05:20,968
Uh-huh. But shouldn't
we be giving him
129
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:23,098
maybe just a little
testosterone,
130
00:05:23,139 --> 00:05:24,334
just to top him off?
131
00:05:24,374 --> 00:05:26,172
You know,
jump-start that puberty?
132
00:05:26,209 --> 00:05:30,009
Yes, Mr. Hill, testosterone
can "jump-start' puberty,
133
00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:31,844
but I don't give
radical hormone therapy
134
00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:34,852
to young boys who happen to be
mediocre at dodge ball.
135
00:05:34,885 --> 00:05:37,149
Testosterone is
most commonly prescribed
136
00:05:37,187 --> 00:05:40,452
to men in their 40s
with Irritable Male Syndrome.
137
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:41,548
Irritable what who?
138
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,060
Irritable Male Syndrome, or IMS.
139
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,892
It's the male equivalent
of PMS.
140
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,795
There's a PMS for men?
141
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:49,321
Oh, God.
142
00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:51,562
Look, we don't have
time to talk politics.
143
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,126
I've gotta get to work.
144
00:05:53,169 --> 00:05:55,729
Men's testosterone levels
fluctuate wildly throughout each day.
145
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,299
In some men, it can cause
lethargy, anxiety, irritability.
146
00:06:00,744 --> 00:06:01,836
(gasps )
147
00:06:01,878 --> 00:06:03,812
You have
Irritable Male Syndrome!
148
00:06:03,847 --> 00:06:04,746
What?!
149
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,146
This is why you didn't want
150
00:06:06,182 --> 00:06:08,344
to help me
with Viva Los Arlentinos Day.
151
00:06:08,385 --> 00:06:11,116
This is why you've been grouchy
and sluggish and...
152
00:06:11,154 --> 00:06:13,054
Dang it, Peggy,
that's ridiculous!
153
00:06:13,089 --> 00:06:15,353
I'm just stressed
about my work.
154
00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:17,087
Well, the stress
you're feeling at work
155
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,925
could be a result of IMS.
156
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,327
It's nothing
to be ashamed of.
157
00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:22,161
Just think of it like
you're having your menses.
158
00:06:22,198 --> 00:06:23,222
( Shuddering )
159
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:24,631
Hank, I'm going
to write you
160
00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:27,797
a prescription for a low-dosage
testosterone supplement.
161
00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:29,566
Go ahead and try it for a few...
162
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,040
I don't need testosterone.
163
00:06:31,074 --> 00:06:33,668
I just need you two
to get off my got-dang back.
164
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:34,905
Let's go, Bobby.
165
00:06:34,945 --> 00:06:37,642
We're done
with this jackass festival.
166
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,046
Testosterone could've
elevated Hank's mood,
167
00:06:42,085 --> 00:06:43,553
improved his whole outlook.
168
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,683
Well, I should probably, uh,
169
00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:53,356
turn my back and file
a chart or something.
170
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,539
HANK:
Got-dang it!
171
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:14,982
I'm out of
clean socks!
172
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,281
Got-dang it!
173
00:07:19,389 --> 00:07:21,551
PEGGY:
Breakfast is ready!
174
00:07:26,796 --> 00:07:28,491
Well, Bobby, I've
scheduled a conference
175
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,829
with your P.E. teacher so
we can discuss the problem.
176
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,028
Oh, my God, Dad!
177
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,536
Don't do that!
178
00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:35,868
I... I forbid it!
179
00:07:35,905 --> 00:07:38,101
Dang it.
What is going on with you?!
180
00:07:38,141 --> 00:07:40,405
Don't forget
about your coffee, Hank.
181
00:07:40,443 --> 00:07:43,174
Okay, the real reason
I'm failing P.E. is...
182
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,875
I won't take a shower
with the other guys!
183
00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:47,178
I can't!
184
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,049
Bobby, do not lay this trip
on your father
185
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,019
while he's trying to enjoy
his coffee.
186
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:53,386
He's stressed enough
without you interrupting
187
00:07:53,423 --> 00:07:54,822
his coffee-drinking time.
188
00:07:54,858 --> 00:07:58,021
All right, Hank, you're free
to drink your coffee.
189
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,189
Would you forget
about the coffee?
190
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,200
Bobby, no one wants to
take a shower after gym.
191
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,292
It's not fun,
it's not pleasant,
192
00:08:05,335 --> 00:08:07,235
and usually not
very sanitary,
193
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,669
but you do it anyway.
194
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,002
Why?
195
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,872
Because a big part
of being a man
196
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,002
is doing things you
don't want to do.
197
00:08:14,044 --> 00:08:16,342
But there's a way
to get through it:
198
00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:20,077
You just lower your eyes to
the floor and count the tiles.
199
00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,675
In my day,
there were 60.
200
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:24,187
Count the tiles.
201
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,416
I'll do it.
202
00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:28,515
Well, I guess I'm off, too.
203
00:08:28,558 --> 00:08:29,855
Wait, Hank!
204
00:08:29,893 --> 00:08:31,452
Don't forget your coffee.
205
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:34,486
Yeah, I'm gonna need it
for the day I'm facing.
206
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:38,864
And I made you
some more for later.
207
00:08:38,902 --> 00:08:40,961
Drink it six hours from now,
with a meal.
208
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,335
Do not mix it
with alcohol.
209
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:49,570
BOY: Hey, dude, is that a
pimple or another nipple?
210
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,875
( Kids faughing )
211
00:08:50,914 --> 00:08:52,848
I'll take that "F."
212
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,892
Ta-da!
213
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:09,057
I'll take it.
214
00:09:09,099 --> 00:09:11,033
'You said you were
helping me next.
215
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,557
Does that
look like me?
216
00:09:12,602 --> 00:09:16,129
Ma'am, I am going to do whatever
it takes to make you happy.
217
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:17,833
Here's the 20-second tour
of the store.
218
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:19,501
Are you gettin' happy?
219
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:20,839
( Woman laughing )
220
00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:23,039
A little...
221
00:09:24,114 --> 00:09:25,843
Yep.
222
00:09:25,882 --> 00:09:26,849
Mm-hmm.
223
00:09:26,883 --> 00:09:27,850
Y...
224
00:09:27,884 --> 00:09:30,012
Got-dang right!
225
00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:33,580
So it turns out, I am not
the actual Dale Gribble
226
00:09:33,623 --> 00:09:34,988
but a clone of him.
227
00:09:35,024 --> 00:09:36,856
The original me
is a super-warrior
228
00:09:36,893 --> 00:09:39,362
from the year 2087.
229
00:09:39,395 --> 00:09:43,491
The second me, ie., "I"
was created to help the first me
230
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,865
fight the invading
Mongol armies.
231
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:47,563
Beer, please.
232
00:09:47,604 --> 00:09:50,869
Dale, that's asinine,
and here's four reasons why:
233
00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:53,171
First: you're not gonna clone
a super-warrior
234
00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:56,076
out of a guy who can't even win
a thumb-wrestling match.
235
00:09:56,112 --> 00:09:56,943
But, I...
236
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,277
Two: you've spent your life
237
00:09:58,314 --> 00:10:00,874
swearing that the robots
will exterminate the clones
238
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,385
by the end of 2010,
239
00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:03,977
so which is it,
robots or clones?
240
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,613
I suppose...
241
00:10:05,655 --> 00:10:07,123
Three: you've already said
242
00:10:07,157 --> 00:10:10,058
you sympathize with the invading
Mongolians of 2087,
243
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,926
so you'd be the last one
they'd send to fight 'em.
244
00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:14,760
And four:
if you were from the future,
245
00:10:14,798 --> 00:10:16,391
you would've seen this coming:
246
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,662
Yeah, man.
247
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,568
Hey, any of you guys
feel like wrestling?
248
00:10:21,604 --> 00:10:22,901
Even me?
249
00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:25,566
Okay.
250
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:30,307
( Bill grunts, moans)
251
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:32,144
( Both grunt)
252
00:10:32,182 --> 00:10:36,642
DALE: It just hurts
so damn much! Ah!
253
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,383
Great chicken, Peggy.
254
00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,520
Can we have some steak, too?
255
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,055
Well, you certainly seem to
have a lot of energy, today.
256
00:10:49,098 --> 00:10:51,226
Yep, and you know,
this afternoon,
257
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:54,100
I was pumping some iron,
and I was thinking
258
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:56,105
Arlentinos Day
is gonna be great,
259
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:59,769
and I came up with nine ways
you could expedite the workload.
260
00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:01,777
Hank, I didn't even know
you cared about my...
261
00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:04,644
In fact, why don't I just go
with you to the meeting tomorrow
262
00:11:04,681 --> 00:11:06,206
so I can tell everyone my ideas?
263
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,048
I am upgrading your steak
from Salisbury to sirloin.
264
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,644
Thanks, Peggy.
265
00:11:10,687 --> 00:11:11,984
Got-dang it, I love you.
266
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,386
And I love you, too, son.
267
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,050
How was PE?
268
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,786
Well, uh... you know.
269
00:11:16,826 --> 00:11:19,693
I just went in there,
in the shower,
270
00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:20,787
like you said,
271
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:23,231
counted the tiles and got out.
272
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,461
That's great, Bobby.
273
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,628
Come on, let's go
do some push-ups.
274
00:11:26,669 --> 00:11:26,999
Huh?
275
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:29,868
Wh...?
(giggles )
276
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:33,240
You know, Peggy,
JAG is a rerun tonight.
277
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,244
Oh, Hank.
278
00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:45,716
MAN:
And so our bull run
279
00:11:45,755 --> 00:11:48,850
will greatly resemble
the legendary bull run
280
00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:50,360
of Pamplona, Spain.
281
00:11:50,393 --> 00:11:53,294
Except that with ours,
the men and the bulls
282
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:55,423
will be separated at all times
283
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,797
by a 15-foot-high
chain-link fence.
284
00:11:57,834 --> 00:11:59,632
What? That's crazy!
285
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,728
Hank, the insurance
is through the roof.
286
00:12:01,771 --> 00:12:03,364
We do not have
the funds for it.
287
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:05,738
If we put on a bull run
with a safety fence,
288
00:12:05,775 --> 00:12:07,436
our whole town
will look like
289
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,206
a bunch
of got-dang jackasses,
290
00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:11,737
and I'll be got danged
if I'm gonna let that happen!
291
00:12:11,781 --> 00:12:13,044
Hank, easy.
292
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:15,312
If money's the problem,
I'll raise it myself!
293
00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:16,750
( Murmuring )
294
00:12:16,786 --> 00:12:19,187
I'll run with the bulls,
and I'll get every business
295
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:20,986
in the tri-county area
to sponsor me.
296
00:12:21,024 --> 00:12:23,118
That'll cover the insurance
and then some.
297
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,923
( Applause and cheers )
298
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:27,089
Honey, you are amazing.
299
00:12:29,098 --> 00:12:31,157
And in five days,
he's already raised
300
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,567
half the insurance money
for the bull run.
301
00:12:33,603 --> 00:12:36,800
NANCY: He is so energetic
and confident and happy
302
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,329
and in shape and...
303
00:12:38,374 --> 00:12:39,808
Oh, sug,
he's having an affair.
304
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:43,403
Wha... Nancy,
I can assure you,
305
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,073
whatever's going on with Hank,
306
00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:46,946
is not being caused
by another woman.
307
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,476
Sug, what else rejuvenates
a middle-aged man like that?
308
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,046
An affair
would explain everything.
309
00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:54,682
Well,
except for his pimples.
310
00:12:54,724 --> 00:12:56,692
Oh, now, those are just
a side effect.
311
00:12:56,726 --> 00:12:57,693
Side effect?
312
00:12:57,727 --> 00:12:59,024
From happiness.
313
00:12:59,062 --> 00:13:02,464
'You know, they're just
little "zits of joy."
314
00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:04,159
That iced tea ready?
315
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,441
( Sighs)
316
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:18,572
Afternoon, ladies.
317
00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:19,911
(giggling )
318
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:22,077
Oh, Hank, stop.
319
00:13:26,356 --> 00:13:29,815
Hank, I've been watching
you jump that thing
320
00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:31,452
for three hours now.
321
00:13:31,494 --> 00:13:32,928
I'm exhausted.
322
00:13:32,962 --> 00:13:34,521
Yeah,
you've trained enough.
323
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,963
Besides, in a bull run,
324
00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:39,367
the only thing you'll have
to jump over are mangled bodies.
325
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,336
I'm not done training,
you idiot!
326
00:13:41,371 --> 00:13:42,896
Now get on that lawn mower,
327
00:13:42,939 --> 00:13:44,771
and pretend
you're the bull. Now.
328
00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:46,571
( Sighs ).
Okay.
329
00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:53,239
Grr.
330
00:13:53,282 --> 00:13:54,943
Is that all
you got? C'mon!
331
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:56,213
Hey!
332
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,983
My God, Hank's getting
right in the bull's face.
333
00:13:59,022 --> 00:14:01,116
I'll kick your fat
bull ass! C'mon!
334
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,318
Owl
335
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:03,848
You play too rough!
336
00:14:03,893 --> 00:14:05,054
I'm going home.
337
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,493
Who wants to
take his place?
338
00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:07,553
Talkin' about
dang ol'
339
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,587
no thank you, man.
340
00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:10,360
I have a lot of calls
to return.
341
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,868
Well, fine, then.
342
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:14,734
I don't want training help
from a bunch of wussies anyway.
343
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:18,369
'Sup?
344
00:14:18,408 --> 00:14:19,569
'Sup?
345
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:28,513
Hank, I picked up
some Clearasil for your acne.
346
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,610
Hey, where are you
heading off to so fast?
347
00:14:30,653 --> 00:14:32,052
Well, I have to get
dinner ready.
348
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,578
Dinner can wait.
349
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,955
I say we hit
the bedroom.
350
00:14:35,992 --> 00:14:37,926
Hank, we can't
fool around now.
351
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,452
Your dad is on his way over
for dinner.
352
00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:41,588
What?
353
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,998
Dang it,
he always ruins everything!
354
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,728
Why does he have to be here?
355
00:14:45,768 --> 00:14:48,635
I got my own house so I wouldn't
have to deal with his crap.
356
00:14:48,671 --> 00:14:50,036
Can you hear yourself?
357
00:14:50,073 --> 00:14:51,768
Yeah, I can hear myself.
358
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,105
Can you hear this?
359
00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:59,872
I never told you
to secretly dope your husband.
360
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:01,816
Well, you didn't say
not to, did you?
361
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:04,616
Medicine is no place
for mixed signals, Doctor.
362
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,486
Peggy, the amount
of testosterone
363
00:15:06,522 --> 00:15:08,286
you've given
Hank is dangerous.
364
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,792
You've effectively
caused him
365
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,157
to go through puberty again.
366
00:15:11,194 --> 00:15:13,128
Well, that explains
the constant hair combing
367
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,654
and why he's hanging out
at the mall all the time.
368
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,894
But don't worry,
I have stopped cold turkey.
369
00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:19,800
Whoa, don't do that.
370
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,168
When the body is given
excessive testosterone,
371
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:23,570
it stops making its own.
372
00:15:23,606 --> 00:15:26,234
Consequently, Hank's testicles
may have shrunken
373
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:27,299
by as much as 20%.
374
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,902
Oh, my God.
375
00:15:28,945 --> 00:15:31,277
This is just the kind of thing
that upsets him.
376
00:15:31,314 --> 00:15:33,749
And now, with no
testosterone coming from pills
377
00:15:33,783 --> 00:15:35,012
or from his own glands,
378
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:37,110
Hank's cognitive and
physical abilities
379
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,678
will be severely impaired.
380
00:15:38,721 --> 00:15:43,158
So you're saying that my husband
will be soft, timid and weak,
381
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,160
and have defunct genitalia?
382
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,822
(crying)
383
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,593
It's okay, Peggy.
384
00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:52,329
He just needs to ease off
the testosterone gradually.
385
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,427
Have him wear this
for about a week.
386
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,165
It's a trans-scrotal patch.
387
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,172
( Sighs)
388
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,264
Of course it is.
389
00:15:58,307 --> 00:15:59,775
He'll affix it
to his scrotum,
390
00:15:59,809 --> 00:16:02,005
and testosterone will
absorb into his system
391
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,979
at slow, steady levels.
392
00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:07,745
And so it's come to this.
393
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,650
( Groans )
394
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:15,691
Ah, dang it.
395
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,056
I don't know what's wrong.
396
00:16:17,093 --> 00:16:19,528
It's like somebody sucked
all the life out of me.
397
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,293
Hank, I have to tell you
something.
398
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:24,527
HANK:
You what?!
399
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,194
Minh, come quick!
400
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,862
Hank and Peggy having
old school, redneck,
401
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,372
domestic squabble
on front lawn!
402
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,203
HANK:
How could you, Peggy?
403
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,038
Oh, I bet she burn
the meat loaf.
404
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,236
It caused what?
405
00:16:34,277 --> 00:16:36,211
Why he point at his crotch
like that?
406
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,215
20% shrinkage?!
407
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,218
'You want me to put a patch
on my what?!
408
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,414
Okay, this going in
a weird direction now.
409
00:16:45,454 --> 00:16:46,615
( Sighs)
410
00:16:46,656 --> 00:16:47,851
So over these
last weeks,
411
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,221
all my energy,
my strength,
412
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,852
my confidence,
my happiness...
413
00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:54,056
Completely meaningless, Hank.
414
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,257
I'm sorry.
415
00:16:55,298 --> 00:16:56,265
( Sighs)
416
00:16:56,299 --> 00:16:57,767
I think I want to yell at you,
417
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,326
but I don't know if it's me
or the hormones,
418
00:17:00,369 --> 00:17:02,030
or the lack
of 'em, or...
419
00:17:02,071 --> 00:17:03,197
( sighs)
420
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:04,604
DALE:
Hey, Hank!
421
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,165
I know you're already
all pumped up
422
00:17:06,209 --> 00:17:07,768
for the big bull run,
423
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:10,336
but I thought this tape might
put you even more in the mood.
424
00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:13,178
When Bull Gorings Go Bad.
425
00:17:13,216 --> 00:17:14,843
You're a brave
man, Hank.
426
00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:17,854
Personally, I watched
two minutes of it and vomited.
427
00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,878
Check out the pictures
on the back.
428
00:17:19,922 --> 00:17:22,516
( Moans )
429
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,488
I suppose we'll have
to call your sponsors
430
00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:31,660
and tell them you can't
run with the bulls tomorrow.
431
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:34,398
I'm sure they'll understand when
I explain to them that you...
432
00:17:34,437 --> 00:17:35,529
Oh...
433
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:37,630
No. I made a promise
to those people.
434
00:17:37,673 --> 00:17:39,471
Maybe you could wait
a year.
435
00:17:39,508 --> 00:17:41,840
You know,
until you're full strength?
436
00:17:41,877 --> 00:17:43,572
No, sir.
Unless their checks bounced,
437
00:17:43,613 --> 00:17:44,910
I'm running with the bulls.
438
00:17:44,947 --> 00:17:47,006
PEGGY: But Hank, honey,
everything's changed.
439
00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:48,983
Now you aren't even
able to...
440
00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:51,885
I can still do everything,
just not as well.
441
00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:55,084
The only real difference
is that now I'm scared.
442
00:17:55,124 --> 00:17:56,285
But if you're scared, why...?
443
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,351
Because a man does
what he has to do.
444
00:17:59,395 --> 00:18:01,523
You were scared to take
a shower in gym class,
445
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:02,759
but you did it anyway.
446
00:18:02,798 --> 00:18:06,598
Well, running with
the bulls is my shower.
447
00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:17,379
If you feel like
you have to run tomorrow,
448
00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:18,608
at least wear this.
449
00:18:18,648 --> 00:18:20,582
There is no rule
that says you can't.
450
00:18:20,616 --> 00:18:22,607
No, Peggy, no
more testosterone.
451
00:18:22,652 --> 00:18:24,950
I'm not going
through puberty again.
452
00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:26,682
I didn't like it
when I was 14,
453
00:18:26,722 --> 00:18:28,417
and I didn't like
it last week.
454
00:18:28,457 --> 00:18:29,947
Your hormone level is so low
455
00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:32,324
this will give you just enough
to be normal.
456
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,556
Like when you were a man.
457
00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:54,813
Mr. Hill, we are
so grateful for
458
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,978
your enthusiasm
and your bravery.
459
00:18:57,019 --> 00:19:00,353
You have helped the Arlen
Latin Heritage Society greatly.
460
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,652
Well, my pleasure.
461
00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:03,921
Obviously, we wanted
to say this to you now
462
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:06,087
in the event that
you become dead
463
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:07,960
sometime within
the next half hour.
464
00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:13,931
Come on, Bobby,
it's time to go to the parade!
465
00:19:13,969 --> 00:19:15,596
(gasps )
466
00:19:28,818 --> 00:19:31,287
ANNOUNCER:
Runners, take your places!
467
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,067
PEGGY:
Hank!
468
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:50,971
Hank Hill! I demand that
you put this on yourself, now!
469
00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:52,531
Peggy, put that away!
470
00:19:52,575 --> 00:19:55,135
Dad, don't run
with the bulls!
471
00:19:55,177 --> 00:19:57,475
You don't have
to prove anything to me!
472
00:19:57,513 --> 00:20:00,539
I lied to you!
I never showered!
473
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,984
I was too scared!
474
00:20:03,018 --> 00:20:03,951
You what?!
475
00:20:03,986 --> 00:20:06,648
I'm sorry! I failed you!
476
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:09,659
That's why
I'm not worth dying for!
477
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:11,160
Wear the patch, Hank!
478
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:13,184
Don't run, Dad!
479
00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:15,664
Bobby, I'm running
with the bulls,
480
00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:18,167
and I'm gonna do it
without the patch.
481
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,668
Between the drugging
and the lying,
482
00:20:19,702 --> 00:20:21,966
one of us in this family
has got to show some
483
00:20:22,004 --> 00:20:24,496
got-dang integrity!
484
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:26,599
( Cheering )
485
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:32,606
( Screams,
crowd moans )
486
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,979
( Yelling )
487
00:20:34,016 --> 00:20:35,142
MAN:
Okay, Hank, macho!
488
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,521
PEGGY:
Run, Hank!
489
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:40,852
All right, Hank!
490
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:46,055
(yells)
491
00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:55,094
This is the bravest thing I've
ever seen in my entire life.
492
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:01,068
Just count the tiles.
493
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:03,968
One, two...
494
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,640
DOOLEY:
That's my soap.
495
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,308
Three, four...
496
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,817
RAMON:
Dudes, check me out.
497
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,821
I call this
"eggs over easy."
498
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:15,586
Five, six...
499
00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:20,186
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
500
00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:24,786
Repair and Synchronization by
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