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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:23,071
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION
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00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:39,934
How's it going, Joe Jack?
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00:00:40,035 --> 00:00:42,402
I lost my bathroom
key again, honey.
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( Car horn playing
"Yellow Rose of Texas")
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00:00:48,443 --> 00:00:49,410
Mr. Strickland?
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00:00:49,444 --> 00:00:51,970
Yeah. Hank, I just lost
a pile of money
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00:00:52,013 --> 00:00:54,573
and a pair of Eye-talian loafers
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00:00:54,616 --> 00:00:57,608
to that sleaze bag
Lane Pratley.
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00:00:57,652 --> 00:00:59,814
Oh, and you can cancel
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00:00:59,854 --> 00:01:01,219
the morning run
to Strickland North.
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00:01:01,256 --> 00:01:02,746
I lost that, too.
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00:01:02,791 --> 00:01:06,318
I got to take my mind
off my boo-hoos.
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00:01:06,361 --> 00:01:08,659
Donna! Find me that website
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00:01:08,697 --> 00:01:11,632
where the elephant does his
business on the man's head.
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00:01:17,606 --> 00:01:20,576
Sir, ... I don't like
to ask personal questions,
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00:01:20,609 --> 00:01:22,236
but... are you okay?
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My wife threw me out.
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What?
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00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:26,547
Yeah.
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I had Donna over at the house.
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The old crow found us
in flagrante on the credenza.
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It's all over.
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She said she could handle
my drinking binges
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00:01:37,826 --> 00:01:39,225
and my gambling
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00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:43,630
and even turn a blind eye
to my extramarital escapades
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00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:46,726
but not when they happen
all at once
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and on her birthday.
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00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:52,399
Ah! I don't know
what to do anymore, Hank.
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( Sobbing )
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Uh...
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There, there, sir.
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00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:03,145
( Sobbing )
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Today we start cross-country.
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00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:07,819
Every day
for the next two weeks,
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00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:09,483
you kids are going
to be running.
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For those of you
a little overweight
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00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:12,892
or not athletic,
this will be difficult,
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but so will life. Now go.
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Uh, Coach.
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If you don't mind,
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I prefer to play
to my strengths.
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00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:24,796
Why don't| just hang back
and hold the clipboard?
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Move it, Hill.
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( Groans )
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( Panting )
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Hey, Maggie,
if we stay together,
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neither one of us
will be last.
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00:02:36,751 --> 00:02:38,412
I let you hide behind
me in dodge ball.
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I'm through with you.
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My running days are over.
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I'm home.
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00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:03,303
Table for one near
the air conditioner.
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00:03:03,345 --> 00:03:05,370
Sorry, kid, this is high tea.
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We require a jacket and tie
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00:03:07,582 --> 00:03:09,448
and long pants and no sneakers.
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Doesn't passion
count for anything?
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LUANNE: My Bible study
teacher Is going on vacation
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00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:20,457
and he won't let me
be the substitute teacher
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00:03:20,495 --> 00:03:21,792
while he's gone.
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00:03:21,830 --> 00:03:22,888
I think he's just jealous
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00:03:22,931 --> 00:03:25,195
of my close
relationship with Jesus.
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00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:27,201
Oh, Luanne, give
him more credit.
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00:03:27,235 --> 00:03:29,431
Maybe he genuinely thinks
you won't be good at it.
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Nobody has any faith in me.
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I'm telling Jesus
that you weren't any help.
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You are not
going to believe
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what's happened at work.
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Buck gambled away
Strickland North.
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It's gone. Gone.
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00:03:42,517 --> 00:03:44,713
And you are surprised
by this behavior?
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00:03:44,753 --> 00:03:47,518
Hank, the man is
a lying, cheating,
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drunken, gambling,
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philandering adulterer.
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00:03:51,025 --> 00:03:52,652
I know he has his demons,
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00:03:52,694 --> 00:03:55,823
but he's also the guy
who took me under his wing
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00:03:55,864 --> 00:03:58,356
and brought me
into the world of propane
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00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,391
and propane accessories.
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00:04:00,435 --> 00:04:03,871
There's a money-back
guarantee on those.
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00:04:03,905 --> 00:04:07,637
It's not the store's
policy-- it's just mine.
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00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:10,940
You do a damn fine job of
selling dungarees there,
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00:04:10,979 --> 00:04:12,845
uh... Hank,
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00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:15,179
but let me tell you
what I'm selling.
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Propane.
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00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:18,546
Huh.
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00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:19,553
Propane.
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00:04:19,587 --> 00:04:22,386
He was a window
into the exciting world
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00:04:22,424 --> 00:04:23,755
of clean-burning heat.
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00:04:23,792 --> 00:04:26,284
'Yeah. You keep these
tanks shiny and clean
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00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:27,590
they reflect
more sunlight
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00:04:27,629 --> 00:04:28,562
and stay cooler.
92
00:04:28,596 --> 00:04:30,496
That means less
gas escapes
93
00:04:30,532 --> 00:04:32,728
through this
here valve, see?
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00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:34,292
( Sighs)
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00:04:34,335 --> 00:04:36,201
I can't turn my back on him.
96
00:04:36,237 --> 00:04:38,729
Without buck, I'd
be selling pants.
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00:04:38,773 --> 00:04:39,831
I'd never tell him this,
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00:04:39,874 --> 00:04:43,606
but... [ think
of him as a... a mentor.
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00:04:43,645 --> 00:04:47,741
Really? I thought /
was your mentor.
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00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:48,772
I'm worried, fellows.
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00:04:48,817 --> 00:04:50,979
Buck's never
been this bad
102
00:04:51,019 --> 00:04:52,111
and this time, I'm afraid
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00:04:52,153 --> 00:04:54,417
he's going to take
the business down with him.
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00:04:54,456 --> 00:04:56,424
You know what a
friend would do?
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00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:58,051
He'd get me to burn down
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00:04:58,092 --> 00:05:00,151
said other friend's
failing business
107
00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:01,993
for the insurance money.
108
00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:03,259
Just say
the word
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00:05:03,298 --> 00:05:04,265
or don't.
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00:05:04,299 --> 00:05:05,266
I'll get the signal.
111
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:06,267
Just nod your head.
112
00:05:06,301 --> 00:05:08,269
Or don't.
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Shut up, Dale.
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00:05:13,741 --> 00:05:19,077
So, we're on.
115
00:05:19,113 --> 00:05:21,741
( Sighs)
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00:05:21,783 --> 00:05:23,080
Hmm.
117
00:05:23,117 --> 00:05:25,381
Buck's back on the floor.
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00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:28,219
'You got to buy
this grill.
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I need the money.
120
00:05:30,124 --> 00:05:33,856
There's a horse
that can make all this right.
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You got cash?
122
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Huh? Huh?
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( Vomiting )
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00:05:37,599 --> 00:05:42,833
Uh... sir, why don't
I take you home?
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Good idea.
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No, wait a second.
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00:05:47,509 --> 00:05:49,443
( Vomiting )
128
00:05:49,477 --> 00:05:50,740
( Coughing )
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00:05:50,778 --> 00:05:52,075
Okay.
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00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:53,410
( Sobbing )
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00:05:53,448 --> 00:05:56,679
I'm so got dang lonely.
132
00:05:56,718 --> 00:05:59,619
Hey, you know,
before I drop you off,
133
00:05:59,654 --> 00:06:01,713
there's someone I'd like
to introduce you to.
134
00:06:01,756 --> 00:06:03,884
I think you two
might hit it off.
135
00:06:03,925 --> 00:06:08,624
Can we go yet?
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00:06:08,663 --> 00:06:10,995
No, not until
you hear me out.
137
00:06:11,032 --> 00:06:14,332
Sir, the flame in
you has grown dim,
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00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:16,599
but if you'll just
take your hands off the valve,
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00:06:16,638 --> 00:06:21,371
and let Him in, the Lord
will fill you with His gas.
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00:06:21,409 --> 00:06:22,376
So I'll just
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00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:24,401
leave you two
by yourselves here.
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00:06:24,445 --> 00:06:28,211
'You probably have a lot
of catching up to do.
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00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:33,054
PEGGY:
You cannot fix
144
00:06:33,087 --> 00:06:34,248
Buck Strickland.
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00:06:34,289 --> 00:06:36,587
He is drowning in a sea
of his own addictions
146
00:06:36,624 --> 00:06:37,819
and if there
is one thing
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00:06:37,859 --> 00:06:40,089
that I learned
at YWCA camp,
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00:06:40,128 --> 00:06:44,190
you cannot save
a drowning man.
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00:06:51,372 --> 00:06:53,272
( Car horn playing
"Yellow Rose of Texas")
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00:06:53,308 --> 00:06:55,367
I used to like
that song.
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00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:56,400
Now it scares me.
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00:06:56,444 --> 00:06:58,378
Greetings,
fellow Christians.
153
00:06:58,413 --> 00:07:00,541
Ah, there's the shepherd
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00:07:00,582 --> 00:07:05,349
that brought this lost
sheep back into the fold.
155
00:07:05,386 --> 00:07:06,410
I did?
156
00:07:06,454 --> 00:07:08,047
Huh. So it worked.
157
00:07:08,089 --> 00:07:09,750
Bless you, Hank.
158
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:12,317
Well, in fairness,
I didn't really do anything.
159
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,658
I just alley-ooped you
to the Lord.
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00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:16,061
Well, you brought me to church
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00:07:16,097 --> 00:07:19,192
where I met an angel
who showed me the light.
162
00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:21,361
This woman is
gonna keep me
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00:07:21,402 --> 00:07:23,496
on the straight
and narrow path
164
00:07:23,538 --> 00:07:24,835
to the promised land.
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00:07:24,872 --> 00:07:26,499
Praise be!
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00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:28,737
Nothing but net, Lord.
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00:07:28,776 --> 00:07:32,212
I understand why God
loves Buck-- He has to--
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00:07:32,246 --> 00:07:35,181
But what kind of pathetic
doormat of a woman
169
00:07:35,216 --> 00:07:36,183
would fall for him?
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00:07:36,217 --> 00:07:37,207
Come on, Peggy.
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00:07:37,251 --> 00:07:39,310
I bet she's just
some nice old lady
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00:07:39,354 --> 00:07:41,413
who used to be
a nurse or something.
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00:07:41,456 --> 00:07:43,424
You know how those
churchy types are.
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00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:44,857
They like a fixer-upper.
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00:07:44,892 --> 00:07:46,587
Hey, Uncle Hank,
Aunt Peggy!
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00:07:46,628 --> 00:07:49,791
Look who I saved!
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00:07:49,831 --> 00:07:50,821
Hallelujah.
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00:07:50,865 --> 00:07:52,833
Good Lord.
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00:07:55,970 --> 00:07:57,404
What the hell is going on here?
180
00:07:57,438 --> 00:07:59,634
A private Bible
study class.
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00:07:59,674 --> 00:08:00,971
Praise the Lord!
182
00:08:01,009 --> 00:08:02,977
Luanne,
Platter family conference
183
00:08:03,011 --> 00:08:04,706
on the patio, ah or a.
184
00:08:04,746 --> 00:08:09,946
Is he hitting on you?
185
00:08:09,984 --> 00:08:11,145
Is he coming on to you?
186
00:08:11,185 --> 00:08:12,550
Has he put
his hands on you?
187
00:08:12,587 --> 00:08:13,782
What has he done to you?
188
00:08:13,821 --> 00:08:15,346
Nothing, Aunt Peggy.
189
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:18,360
I found him at the church
and he was so sad and lost.
190
00:08:18,393 --> 00:08:21,488
I told him about the word of God
191
00:08:21,529 --> 00:08:24,362
and he volunteered me
to be his private Bible tutor.
192
00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:27,630
Me! A Bible tutor.
193
00:08:27,669 --> 00:08:29,433
Luanne,
you're on the naive side.
194
00:08:29,470 --> 00:08:32,599
But even you cannot be
buying this horse manure.
195
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,472
Buck is my student.
196
00:08:34,509 --> 00:08:36,136
I am his teacher.
197
00:08:36,177 --> 00:08:39,408
And the Lord is our principal.
198
00:08:39,447 --> 00:08:46,046
And until He rings the bell,
class will not be dismissed.
199
00:08:46,087 --> 00:08:49,387
Uh... are you trying
to date my niece, sir?
200
00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:53,861
Now, OI' Top, I don't blame you
for thinking the worst of me,
201
00:08:53,895 --> 00:08:56,193
but I'm a changed man.
202
00:08:56,230 --> 00:09:00,724
LUANNE: Now,
if you'll excuse us,
203
00:09:00,768 --> 00:09:06,730
we have to get
back to class.
204
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:12,304
You know, Luanne,
it's awful hot out here.
205
00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:14,974
Maybe next week we could
study in the pool.
206
00:09:15,016 --> 00:09:16,984
Bible class in the pool?
207
00:09:17,018 --> 00:09:19,385
Like a baptism.
208
00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:22,720
( Chuckles ).
Yeah, I'll bring my swimsuit.
209
00:09:35,503 --> 00:09:38,768
Are these English cucumbers
in the cucumber sandwiches?
210
00:09:38,806 --> 00:09:42,174
The regular ones
come back on me.
211
00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:43,177
I don't know.
212
00:09:43,211 --> 00:09:45,179
Well, would you find out
for me, please?
213
00:09:45,213 --> 00:09:50,344
It's so nice to see
such a refined young man.
214
00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:52,876
My grandson steals from me.
215
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,410
Would you care to join us?
216
00:09:54,455 --> 00:09:58,414
That depends: would you care
to share your lemon curd?
217
00:09:58,459 --> 00:09:59,551
Oh, hmm.
218
00:09:59,594 --> 00:10:05,363
( Chuckles )
219
00:10:05,399 --> 00:10:08,801
Hank, you've been very unclear
on this whole thing.
220
00:10:08,836 --> 00:10:12,670
Do you or do you not want me
to burn down your workplace?
221
00:10:12,707 --> 00:10:13,765
Dang it, Dale,
222
00:10:13,808 --> 00:10:16,675
I don't want you going
anywhere near Strickland.
223
00:10:16,711 --> 00:10:19,237
Things have been great
since Buck found religion.
224
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,612
Again, your words say "no,"
225
00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:25,347
but your body language says
"torch that sucker."
226
00:10:25,386 --> 00:10:27,286
Un-be-freak in-lievable.
227
00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:30,757
Peggy, will you knock it off?
228
00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:33,591
Why can't you just accept
the man's been saved?
229
00:10:33,628 --> 00:10:35,027
It doesn't
cost you anything.
230
00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:36,791
They are in the pool, Hank.
231
00:10:36,831 --> 00:10:39,163
Luanne is in her bikini.
232
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,170
Her hair is wet. Sopping wet.
233
00:10:42,203 --> 00:10:44,729
Well, she's supposed to be
giving him a Bible lesson.
234
00:10:44,772 --> 00:10:47,139
I'm going to make sure
it stays a Bible lesson.
235
00:10:47,175 --> 00:10:49,610
So, that's why it's better
236
00:10:49,644 --> 00:10:53,581
to be a little bird
sitting in heaven
237
00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:58,552
than to be the biggest,
toughest grizzly bear in hell.
238
00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:01,521
Do you know what I mean?
239
00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:02,523
Yes?
240
00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:03,524
Yay!
241
00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:04,525
Fellowship hug!
242
00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:05,526
Whoo!
243
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,527
Amen to that.
244
00:11:06,561 --> 00:11:08,529
Dude, what are you
doing with her?
245
00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:10,531
This is a Bible
study class, Joseph.
246
00:11:10,565 --> 00:11:11,896
Oh, yeah?
247
00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:16,837
Um... I like the Bible.
A bunch.
248
00:11:16,871 --> 00:11:20,034
Well, come on in.
249
00:11:20,074 --> 00:11:22,600
I thought this was a
private Bible tutorial.
250
00:11:22,643 --> 00:11:28,548
There's enough God
to go around.
251
00:11:37,124 --> 00:11:38,353
Need another student?
252
00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:42,158
Uncle Hank,
you're joining the class?
253
00:11:42,196 --> 00:11:43,220
What are you doing here?
254
00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:44,857
Bible-ing up, dude.
255
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:48,802
Joseph, go home.
256
00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:50,133
Nuh-uh, hold on.
257
00:11:50,171 --> 00:11:52,731
This is my
Bible study class.
258
00:11:52,773 --> 00:11:55,799
And all of God's creatures
are welcome.
259
00:11:55,843 --> 00:11:56,810
Even Joseph.
260
00:11:56,844 --> 00:11:59,336
Oh, Bobby, you are a delight.
261
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,645
Pearl, we should fix him up
with your niece.
262
00:12:02,683 --> 00:12:03,673
How old is she?
263
00:12:03,718 --> 00:12:04,685
37.
264
00:12:04,719 --> 00:12:07,245
Okay, the thing
about camels
265
00:12:07,288 --> 00:12:10,883
going through the
eye of a needle--
266
00:12:10,925 --> 00:12:13,951
It's not good
for the camels,
267
00:12:13,995 --> 00:12:17,795
so you can understand
why it's not good to be rich.
268
00:12:17,832 --> 00:12:18,799
Totally.
269
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,096
I'm as good as broke.
270
00:12:20,134 --> 00:12:22,694
I'm losing everything
in the divorce.
271
00:12:22,737 --> 00:12:27,038
Hey, is this the Bible
study in the pool class?
272
00:12:27,074 --> 00:12:28,269
HANK:
Principal Moss?
273
00:12:28,309 --> 00:12:29,276
BUCK:
Pratley!
274
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:30,402
Aw, rooster poop!
275
00:12:30,444 --> 00:12:32,276
You got my fl yer.
276
00:12:32,313 --> 00:12:33,405
We sure did, Teach.
277
00:12:33,447 --> 00:12:36,109
And that picture
does not do you justice.
278
00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:38,881
Oh, dang,
I forgot my Bible.
279
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,888
I'll just kind of look off
yours here, Miss Luanne.
280
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:44,324
Okay, but next time,
you'd better remember.
281
00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:46,520
Remember-iness
is next to holiness.
282
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:50,929
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on here.
283
00:12:50,965 --> 00:12:52,933
We don't want to distract
the teacher.
284
00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:54,935
Principal Moss,
you can look on with me.
285
00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:56,767
Okay, then.
286
00:12:56,804 --> 00:13:02,675
Now, Luanne, weren't
you and Buck discussing
287
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:05,111
the importance
of the commandments
288
00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:08,980
and why you shouldn't
covet things and such?
289
00:13:09,016 --> 00:13:11,144
Yeah, as a matter
of fact, Luanne...
290
00:13:11,185 --> 00:13:13,017
Hey, can I get in on this?
291
00:13:13,054 --> 00:13:14,317
Well, who the heck
are you?
292
00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:15,914
Octavio, dude.
293
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:16,981
(yells)
294
00:13:17,024 --> 00:13:21,222
We're trying to talk about
the Bible here!
295
00:13:21,262 --> 00:13:24,926
Oh, sure, Ese.
I'm way into it.
296
00:13:24,966 --> 00:13:28,095
Hey, look what
I got- Jesus.
297
00:13:28,135 --> 00:13:29,762
Oh, that's beautiful.
298
00:13:29,804 --> 00:13:31,465
Hey, that's Rob Zombie.
299
00:13:31,505 --> 00:13:32,700
Shut up, kid.
300
00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:34,333
He got my Bible wet.
301
00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:37,777
Okay, Joseph, Octavio,
no more fellowship hugs.
302
00:13:37,812 --> 00:13:42,215
Not until you show me
you're here to learn the Bible,
303
00:13:42,249 --> 00:13:43,216
not get it wet.
304
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:46,880
Pearl, I talked to my doctor
about you yesterday,
305
00:13:46,921 --> 00:13:48,787
and he agrees with me�
306
00:13:48,823 --> 00:13:51,758
You've got to cut down
on the salt.
307
00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:03,129
He's coming in.
308
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,696
Just act natural
and pass me the scones.
309
00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:09,301
I thought
I saw someone I know.
310
00:14:09,343 --> 00:14:11,277
Mind if I take a look around?
311
00:14:11,312 --> 00:14:13,280
Sorry, sir,
we have a dress code--
312
00:14:13,314 --> 00:14:16,306
Ties for men,
no tube tops for the ladies.
313
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:20,844
Ah... Uh-huh.
314
00:14:20,888 --> 00:14:23,323
So, Paul was named Saul
315
00:14:23,357 --> 00:14:26,122
until he saw Jesus
on the road to Damascus
316
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,127
and changed his ways.
317
00:14:27,161 --> 00:14:28,128
That's right!
Fellowship hug!
318
00:14:28,162 --> 00:14:29,061
Oh, boy.
319
00:14:29,096 --> 00:14:31,326
So, when the Bible says
320
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:34,733
"He is without sin should
cast the first stone�
321
00:14:34,769 --> 00:14:35,736
what it's saying is...
322
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:38,068
It's saying...
What it's saying is,
323
00:14:38,105 --> 00:14:42,008
is we should look
at our own sins.
324
00:14:42,043 --> 00:14:44,011
Try to be better people.
325
00:14:44,045 --> 00:14:45,513
Yes. But if you...
326
00:14:45,546 --> 00:14:47,514
Sure, but you can't be
a better person
327
00:14:47,548 --> 00:14:49,516
just by acting
all righteous and stuff.
328
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,518
It says right here in
the Book of Acts that--
329
00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:55,079
Wait, uh, the red letters
are the Jesus words, right?
330
00:14:55,122 --> 00:15:00,891
Uh, Luanne,
if Buck could just...
331
00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:01,918
I've got a testimony!
332
00:15:01,962 --> 00:15:06,331
Now you all may have read
the story of the prodigal son,
333
00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:09,428
but fellow Christians,
I have lived it.
334
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:13,031
I have strayed far and long
from the path of the righteous.
335
00:15:13,074 --> 00:15:15,509
I have sinned,
I have lied,
336
00:15:15,543 --> 00:15:18,513
I have fornicated on
stolen antique furniture.
337
00:15:18,546 --> 00:15:20,105
But I will
tell you this...
338
00:15:20,147 --> 00:15:23,879
the good Lord sets
the most beautiful table
339
00:15:23,918 --> 00:15:29,823
for the son who's eaten
from the most dumpsters.
340
00:15:34,195 --> 00:15:35,754
Huh.
341
00:15:35,796 --> 00:15:37,457
Wow.
342
00:15:37,498 --> 00:15:40,661
You know, I have to admit,
Buck is a changed man.
343
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:43,033
Luanne must be one heck
of a Bible teacher.
344
00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,562
Yep, I guess she really
got through to him.
345
00:15:45,606 --> 00:15:47,574
And all that time
in the water's
346
00:15:47,608 --> 00:15:49,303
been good for his phlebitis.
347
00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:54,679
( Doorbell rings )
348
00:15:54,715 --> 00:15:55,773
Sorry to interrupt,
349
00:15:55,816 --> 00:15:58,376
but I had something very
important to tell you two.
350
00:15:58,419 --> 00:16:00,046
I'm an old-fashioned man,
351
00:16:00,087 --> 00:16:02,749
and as Luanne's nearest
unincarcerated kin,
352
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:05,157
I wanted you to be
the first to know--
353
00:16:05,192 --> 00:16:11,359
I'm going to ask
Luanne to marry me.
354
00:16:20,207 --> 00:16:23,302
Wow, Buck and Luanne.
355
00:16:23,344 --> 00:16:24,436
Wow.
356
00:16:24,478 --> 00:16:26,913
Well... I guess
it was inevitable.
357
00:16:26,947 --> 00:16:28,938
Women from broken homes
358
00:16:28,983 --> 00:16:32,180
always look for
a father figure.
359
00:16:32,219 --> 00:16:35,052
I guess technically, Buck is
more of a grandfather figure,
360
00:16:35,089 --> 00:16:37,080
but I guess that might
even be healthier.
361
00:16:37,124 --> 00:16:40,492
Well, there, I've made it
palatable for myself.
362
00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:43,395
And Luanne's been a pretty good
influence on Buck.
363
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:44,397
Did you see him?
364
00:16:44,431 --> 00:16:45,626
He was clean-cut, polite-�
365
00:16:45,666 --> 00:16:47,634
he wasn't even sweating vodka.
366
00:16:47,668 --> 00:16:50,694
And when Buck's in good shape,
so is Strickland Propane.
367
00:16:50,738 --> 00:16:54,140
Hank, do you realize
if they marry,
368
00:16:54,175 --> 00:16:55,768
Buck will be our nephew.
369
00:16:55,809 --> 00:16:57,106
Huh.
370
00:16:57,144 --> 00:16:59,112
You know, Buck will
probably lose his house
371
00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:01,672
in the divorce, and move in
with Luanne.
372
00:17:01,715 --> 00:17:04,514
He and I could drive
to work together.
373
00:17:04,552 --> 00:17:08,489
Luanne, you've changed
this ornery old jackass
374
00:17:08,522 --> 00:17:10,684
into a noble pack mule.
375
00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:12,692
But this mule
don't want to walk
376
00:17:12,726 --> 00:17:14,694
life's treacherous
mountain path alone.
377
00:17:14,728 --> 00:17:19,598
Luanne Platter, will you
have me as your husband?
378
00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:21,499
(gasps)
Oh, my God!
379
00:17:21,535 --> 00:17:22,696
Oh, my God!
380
00:17:22,736 --> 00:17:23,897
Of course not.
381
00:17:23,938 --> 00:17:24,905
Jibbit?
382
00:17:24,939 --> 00:17:25,906
Mr. Strickland,
383
00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:27,066
that's so crazy.
384
00:17:27,107 --> 00:17:28,336
'You're very nice,
385
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:30,810
but you're totally old.
386
00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:33,211
I like young guys
387
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:36,808
who love Jesus,
but have fithess...
388
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,011
and hair.
389
00:17:38,052 --> 00:17:40,419
No, no, you see...
390
00:17:40,454 --> 00:17:42,821
...I got...
391
00:17:42,856 --> 00:17:48,920
( stammering )
392
00:17:48,963 --> 00:17:50,761
She... spurned me!
393
00:17:50,798 --> 00:17:53,699
I've been spurned!
394
00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:55,224
She what?
395
00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:57,260
( Sobbing ):
She toyed with my affections.
396
00:17:57,304 --> 00:18:00,330
She was only doing it
to get me to the Lord.
397
00:18:00,374 --> 00:18:02,001
How sick is that?
398
00:18:02,042 --> 00:18:06,502
Sir, wait.
399
00:18:06,547 --> 00:18:07,514
Luanne, what happened?
400
00:18:07,548 --> 00:18:09,676
Buck just wanted to marry me
and I said no.
401
00:18:09,717 --> 00:18:10,684
( Sighs)
402
00:18:10,718 --> 00:18:11,708
Well, he looked
pretty upset.
403
00:18:11,752 --> 00:18:13,049
And when Buck's upset,
404
00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:15,249
he dives straight
into his addictions.
405
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:16,017
Oh, that's okay.
406
00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:20,584
He's totally addicted
to Jesus now.
407
00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:25,126
Earl Grey.
408
00:18:25,165 --> 00:18:28,294
Come on, give me a tough one.
409
00:18:28,335 --> 00:18:29,359
(gasps )
410
00:18:29,403 --> 00:18:30,734
Bobby Hill.
411
00:18:30,771 --> 00:18:32,739
You just ate your last...
412
00:18:32,773 --> 00:18:34,104
...thingie.
413
00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:35,108
Muffin?
414
00:18:35,142 --> 00:18:35,904
Pastry?
415
00:18:35,943 --> 00:18:38,503
What... whatever.
416
00:18:38,545 --> 00:18:41,071
Move it!
417
00:18:41,115 --> 00:18:45,074
Congratulations, Mr. Fybel.
418
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,245
I'll be out there tomorrow
419
00:18:46,287 --> 00:18:48,449
to personally hook up
your new tanks.
420
00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:54,326
( Car horn playing
"Yellow Rose of Texas")
421
00:18:54,361 --> 00:18:55,988
BUCK:
Yee-hal
422
00:18:56,030 --> 00:19:01,059
( drunkenly ). Well, what
are you all looking at,
423
00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:02,296
you heathens?
424
00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:03,394
No, sir.
425
00:19:03,437 --> 00:19:04,734
Not on the premises,
426
00:19:04,772 --> 00:19:06,740
and certainly not during
business hours.
427
00:19:06,774 --> 00:19:07,741
Fine, then.
428
00:19:07,775 --> 00:19:11,143
Hank, let's you and me go bet
on the ponies.
429
00:19:11,178 --> 00:19:13,613
I'll just get some
cash from the safe.
430
00:19:13,647 --> 00:19:14,842
Don't bother, sir.
431
00:19:14,882 --> 00:19:16,680
I changed the combination.
432
00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:19,152
But it's always been
my birthday.
433
00:19:19,186 --> 00:19:21,086
Well, now it's my birthday.
434
00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:22,714
'You've been here 20 years.
435
00:19:22,756 --> 00:19:25,157
I... I know your birthday.
I know it.
436
00:19:25,192 --> 00:19:28,127
It's... Sept... Sepover...
437
00:19:28,162 --> 00:19:32,599
Septober... 22, 29...
438
00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:33,691
( sighs)
439
00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:41,141
( Snoring )
440
00:19:41,175 --> 00:19:46,443
( Sighs)
441
00:20:09,169 --> 00:20:11,604
Hank, I'm sorry.
442
00:20:11,638 --> 00:20:13,868
Yeah, I know.
443
00:20:13,907 --> 00:20:16,877
Don't we have a boy
who comes and does this?
444
00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:19,277
Yeah, but the better
these tanks are polished,
445
00:20:19,313 --> 00:20:21,941
the more sunlight they reflect,
the cooler they stay
446
00:20:21,982 --> 00:20:24,451
and the less propane escapes
through that valve.
447
00:20:24,485 --> 00:20:26,749
That valve... yeah.
448
00:20:26,787 --> 00:20:30,417
I taught you that.
449
00:20:30,457 --> 00:20:34,155
'You know, Buck, maybe Luanne
and her Bible class in the pool
450
00:20:34,194 --> 00:20:36,993
was His way of getting
your attention.
451
00:20:37,030 --> 00:20:39,465
So you could see what's
really important.
452
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,993
Yeah, propane's been good to me.
453
00:20:43,036 --> 00:20:45,937
Well, Lady Propane's
been good to all of us, sir.
454
00:20:45,973 --> 00:20:47,964
( Chuckles )
455
00:20:48,008 --> 00:20:51,774
Lady Propane.
456
00:21:01,989 --> 00:21:03,923
That's a perfect swirl, sir.
457
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:06,255
You know, maybe
I could get rid
458
00:21:06,293 --> 00:21:07,590
of all my old
addictions
459
00:21:07,628 --> 00:21:11,189
and get myself hooked
solely on propane.
460
00:21:11,231 --> 00:21:12,562
And maybe just one other thing.
461
00:21:12,599 --> 00:21:13,930
'You know, keep things spicy.
462
00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:17,335
Boy, these
5,000 gallon heifers
463
00:21:17,371 --> 00:21:21,501
look pretty at
sunset, don't they?
464
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:23,271
They sure do, sir.
465
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:28,407
Oh, and those are
1,000 gallon tanks.
466
00:21:28,449 --> 00:21:29,439
And it's sunrise.
467
00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:35,445
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
468
00:22:09,923 --> 00:22:11,152
Fellowship hug!
469
00:22:11,191 --> 00:22:13,057
Oh boy!
470
00:22:13,107 --> 00:22:17,657
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