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1
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,035
You know what?
2
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,833
This is just
the right pace.
3
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,067
Especially
after our last outing.
4
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,939
Two Pina Coladas in Minh
5
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,137
and she starts talking
about stealing a car.
6
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,303
(giggles )
7
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,710
Dark rum make me crazy.
8
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,215
(giggles )
9
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:53,982
( Speaking Laotian )
10
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,750
What did she say?
11
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:56,881
She think your
feet lovely
12
00:00:56,924 --> 00:01:00,656
and it an honor
to work on them.
13
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,162
( Groans )
14
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:09,569
Now where in the heck
did I park my... this way.
15
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:13,369
My memory trick
is usually fail-safe.
16
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,841
When we got out of the car
17
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,810
I associated the parking section
with William Shakespeare.
18
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,973
So, naturally, the car
should be parked in "2B,"
19
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,574
unless I was thinking
of "not 2B."
20
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:27,178
( Guys laughing ) Will you
look at those delinquents,
21
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,382
horsing around
with those shopping carts?
22
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,413
I bet they're...
23
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,551
Oh, my God, it's Bobby.
24
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,083
(yells)
25
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,118
( Faughing ):
Oh, man.
26
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,130
Bobby?
Joseph.
27
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:40,134
This is what you are doing
in your after-school program?
28
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,829
Program was shut down, dude--
budget cuts.
29
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,133
So we're playing
shopping cart chicken.
30
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,641
Hey, we can get them to push us.
31
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:48,800
No after-school program?
32
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,776
Now who Connie
gonna tutor?
33
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,336
Bums in rail yard?
34
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,505
This is ridiculous.
35
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,278
Our kids should be enriching
their minds,
36
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,411
not using a parking lot
as a playground.
37
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,751
Something has got to be done.
38
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,485
The people who canceled
that after-school program
39
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:08,017
are going to wish
we never found our car.
40
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,995
Where is that frickin' thing?
41
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,556
NANCY:
We have a real issue here.
42
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,227
That after-school program
is important.
43
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,235
Absolutely.
44
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:17,259
Our kids get out of school
45
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,272
in the middle of the day
when they air
46
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,832
all those sex and drug-filled
after-school specials.
47
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,936
Oh, Peggy, let's take this
to the school board tomorrow.
48
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,946
They're not going
to know what hit 'em!
49
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:27,947
Well, I got to tell you,
50
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,040
your initiative is
really impressing me.
51
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,051
And not just
because you're ladies.
52
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:35,316
Okay, girls, hands
in the middle, let's go.
53
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,789
"For the children," on three.
54
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,790
Ready?
55
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,791
One, two, three...
56
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:43,888
ALL:
For the children!
57
00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:47,798
For me!
58
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,394
Oh, I bet this must be very
exciting for you, Minh.
59
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,598
Where you're from,
you probably
60
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,697
didn't have the freedom
to criticize your government.
61
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,107
Why would I criticize
government in Laos?
62
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,474
My father was general.
63
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,240
I do what I want.
64
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,247
I was peasant's
worst nightmare.
65
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,715
Thank you, Mrs. Chapman.
66
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,309
Your request to ban
sections "F" and "8"
67
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,548
from the library dictionary
has been noted.
68
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:13,549
Okay, everybody have
their talking points?
69
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,596
Yeah.
70
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,598
Oh, one little thing though,
Peggy Hill.
71
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,599
Keep it short.
72
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,658
Sometimes you go on
and on and on.
73
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,865
I find it charming, but you
might lose other people.
74
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:27,101
Good advice.
75
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,837
And you probably should not
call anyone "hillbilly."
76
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,002
Or redneck.
77
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,239
Or dumb monkey.
78
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,906
Check.
79
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,645
Well, I guess that does it
for tonight's meeting.
80
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:38,651
Nice work.
81
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,652
Excuse me.
82
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,654
Peggy Hill and the coalition
83
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,123
to save the after-school program
at Tom Landry.
84
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:51,928
Sorry, Mrs. Hill, but these
meetings last from 6:00 to 8:00
85
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,730
and it is now...
86
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,735
8:00.
87
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:56,861
Oh, great.
88
00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,032
Now, Connie gonna end up
smashing carts
89
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,041
like brain-dead delinquents.
90
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,042
No offense.
91
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,043
None taken.
92
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,044
I wasn't even listening.
93
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,069
Now, here's the game plan.
94
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,446
We take things
to the next level.
95
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,110
New T-shirts?
96
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,744
( Chuckles ).
No.
97
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,753
Sweatshirts?
98
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:14,754
Not yet.
99
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,052
What we have to do is get
on the school board.
100
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,491
There is a seat open
and an election coming up.
101
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,052
Do you really think
we can win an election?
102
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,062
I know we can.
103
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,154
You know, the turnout
104
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:26,291
in these things
is always very low.
105
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:29,633
The secret is to find a group
of voters that feels overlooked.
106
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:30,636
Then look at them.
107
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,537
And I can get votes
from Laotian community.
108
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:36,065
I give $5.00 tip
on French manicure.
109
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,577
I'm the Lady Di.
110
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,012
Well, I warned the folks
over at Shady Pines Trailer Park
111
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,411
about that tornado.
112
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,644
They were so grateful they're
still naming dogs after me.
113
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:44,650
Great.
114
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,812
We've got pockets of votes
in the Laotian community
115
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,048
and in the trailer parks.
116
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:53,288
Then I score county-wide with
my two-year teaching degree.
117
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,523
NANCY: I wonder which
one of us should run.
118
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,860
I mean, Peggy's
a ball of fire
119
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,367
and Minh, she's
smart as a whip.
120
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,368
Either way, our kids
are in such good hands.
121
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,234
198, 199...
122
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:09,402
Hey, these are supposed to be
200-thread count sheets.
123
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,534
Damn Egyptians.
124
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:14,138
But, Minh, three women
can't fill one position.
125
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,082
This school board seat,
not Boomhauer's hot tub.
126
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:20,280
Well, when you think about it,
I'm most logical choice.
127
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,118
My daughter a proven genius,
128
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,123
plus my perfectly
symmetrical face
129
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,558
is pleasing to voters
and inspires trust.
130
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:31,429
And it sure would be nice to
finally get a Laotian in power.
131
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,432
We got to eat
their fish on Friday,
132
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,434
they gonna eat our rice
noodles on Wednesday--
133
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,129
For breakfast.
134
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,502
You've got the most
school-related experience,
135
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,371
the best interpersonal skills
136
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,376
and a smile
that lights up a room.
137
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:48,109
Yep, Peggy, I got to say, I
agree with all your reasons
138
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,674
why you should be the one
to run for school board.
139
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:51,775
Well, thank you, Hank,
140
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,786
but let's not lose sight
of why I'm doing this.
141
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,346
It's for the children.
142
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,357
Now, I'm not saying
Minh hates children,
143
00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,985
but I really love children.
144
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,486
They are three out of the five
points in my five-point plan.
145
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,557
I haven't quite figured
out the other two yet.
146
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,298
I'm thinking something
about America.
147
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,396
Wow, dynamite.
148
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,067
Even though Dale
says Principal Moss
149
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,473
may try to assassinate us
150
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,477
I think this is going
to be nothing but fun.
151
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,445
I can't wait to get started.
152
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,245
I have so many ideas,
I couldn't sleep all night.
153
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,081
So I make pecan sandies.
154
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,745
I appreciate
your enthusiasm.
155
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,380
Nowy, it's obvious who
our candidate should be,
156
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,414
but it would be presumptuous of
me to do the nominating, so...
157
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:35,759
I'm not sure
how obvious it is.
158
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,593
Oh, you mean me?
159
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,826
(gasps )
160
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,563
Well, I'm not sure
I'm the person for the job.
161
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:46,334
Well, somebody got
to do it for the children
162
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,638
and if no one else
wants to run...
163
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:50,905
No one?
164
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,969
( Gasping ):
Five points!
165
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,208
( Coughing )
166
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,874
All in favor of me?
167
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:56,883
Well...
168
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,975
Thank you, Peggy.
Nancy?
169
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,487
Well, since Peggy's
okay with it.
170
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,113
Okay then, done deal.
171
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,122
Oh.
172
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,123
Hold on.
173
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,127
Not that I want the job
or anything, but...
174
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,787
Then don't sweat it.
175
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,695
Oh, and I wouldn't
drink from there.
176
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,790
Doggy has a cold.
177
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:14,994
( Sneezes )
178
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,696
PEGGY:
And I can't help
179
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:20,036
but think that Minh
did it on purpose.
180
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,508
Those pecan sandies
were astonishingly dry.
181
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,910
Come on, Peggy,
they're not shy people.
182
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,277
If Minh wanted to choke you,
183
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:30,011
she would have just reached over
and done it with her hands.
184
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,313
I will give her that.
185
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,321
'You know, Peggy, you could still
be the power behind the scenes.
186
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,686
Just like that little fellow
in the Wizard of Oz.
187
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,919
Yeah, yeah.
You're right.
188
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,293
And maybe next election,
I can run another candidate.
189
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,296
Then another.
190
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:43,796
Before you know it,
191
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:48,631
I'll be running the entire city
from my bathtub.
192
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,048
Mrs. Soup
and Mrs. Gribble
193
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,182
are waiting
in the living room.
194
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,191
Here's breakfast.
195
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,455
And I typed up the monologues
from Leno and Letterman.
196
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,461
Good work.
197
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,463
Now, I heed you to highlight
last weeks Doonesburys
198
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,022
and tell me
why they're funny.
199
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,260
Peggy, are we
out of butter?
200
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,859
It's behind the cottage cheese.
201
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:25,235
Behind the cottage cheese.
202
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:27,296
Okay, people, I'm glad
to see you're all here.
203
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,104
Now, let's...
204
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,974
( phone rings )
205
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,206
War room.
206
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,440
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
207
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,675
Thank you.
208
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,546
That was Bobby.
209
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,644
He was testing the line.
210
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,915
It works.
211
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,219
Okay, first off, we're going
to need to make some signs.
212
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,225
Oh, we're just about
done making signs, sug.
213
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,489
PEGGY:
"Minh to win."
214
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,495
I don't get it.
215
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,621
What not to get?
216
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,529
I'm Minh.
I want to win.
217
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,660
Hmm. Maybe we should
focus group that.
218
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,669
Nope, no go.
219
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,331
Women 18 to 45
will be turned off.
220
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,363
Here's what we're going to do.
221
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,708
You know what would be
a big help, Peggy Hill?
222
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:05,711
Starbucks run.
223
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,076
Oh, I'll have
a Frappuccino.
224
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,410
BOBBY:
Bag of madeleines.
225
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,780
I'm all for Minh
running for office,
226
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,445
but she better not
take my guns away.
227
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,477
She's running
for the school board.
228
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:18,150
Then she better not take
Joseph's guns away.
229
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,786
Well, I'm not crazy
about making holes in my lawn
230
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:23,796
but I guess it's
for the children.
231
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,128
You know, my lawn
is already dead,
232
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:31,605
maybe we could put
all the signs there.
233
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,606
No offense, Bill, but this
campaign is about hope.
234
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,607
Oh. Right
235
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:37,542
I'm not saying you have to use
the moment of silence to pray.
236
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,512
The kids who don't believe
in God can just sit quietly
237
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,879
and smirk about how they've
got it all figured out.
238
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,817
( Smattering of applause )
239
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,479
Thank you, Mrs. Chapman.
240
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,249
The next question is for Minh...
241
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:54,921
Sou-vnifhin-phone.
242
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,387
Hello, everybody.
243
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,764
And to my Laotian friends,
Sabaai-dii.
244
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,699
Yeah, you been talking
245
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,361
about keeping
the after-school program going.
246
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:07,135
I think I hear the sound
of my property taxes going up.
247
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:10,165
And you fat cats with
your pie-in-the-sky programs
248
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,178
and your free
prescription drugs.
249
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,179
No, no, no.
250
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,874
That's not me.
251
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,973
I do not want to increase taxes.
252
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,814
Yeah, sure,
you'd love it.
253
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:19,819
No, no.
254
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,014
You not listening, Jethro.
255
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,453
Oh, this is ugly.
256
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,651
Someone has to stop
the bleeding.
257
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,217
What my candidate
is trying to say
258
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:31,197
is that we will cut the fat
and leave the muscle.
259
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,723
I know what I'm
trying to say.
260
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,564
It's what I just say.
261
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,764
Please bear with my candidate.
262
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,205
Obviously, English is
not her first language.
263
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,208
But how about a hand
for her courage?
264
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,209
Oh, you crazy?
265
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,211
Get out of here.
266
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,473
The thing to remember, people,
267
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,008
is that you are not going
to have to tighten your belts
268
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:55,043
because we are going
to fix the pants!
269
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,180
Give me that.
270
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,314
You need me.
271
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,449
Fix the pants!
272
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,893
Uh, can I ask the candidate
a question?
273
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:05,421
What are you going to do
to raise educational standards?
274
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,660
MAN:
Without raising taxes.
275
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,669
MAN 2:
Fat cats!
276
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,670
Let's see how you
handle this one.
277
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:15,004
We all concerned about
educational standards
278
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,238
and I tell you where the
problem is-- the teachers.
279
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,373
Did you know
our school system
280
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,610
require only two-year degree
281
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,118
to be substitute
teacher?
282
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,448
MAN:
Is that true?
283
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,453
So you want to know
284
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,615
how I raise standards
without raising taxes?
285
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:33,024
I tell you after I
look into your hearts
286
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,549
and you look
into mine.
287
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,562
No teacher, full-time
or substitute
288
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,086
can teach our kids
289
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,862
without having
a four-year college degree.
290
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,992
( Cheering )
291
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,164
MAN: That's exactly what
I needed to hear today.
292
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,936
Wait.
I only have a two-year degree.
293
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:48,941
Pants!
294
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:49,942
Children!
295
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:50,943
Americal
296
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,945
( applause and cheering
continue )
297
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,947
PEGGY: She's taking
teaching away from me.
298
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:55,948
That's my life.
299
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:56,949
How dare she?
300
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,951
I groomed her,
I taught her everything
301
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,079
and she has the nerve
to stab me in the back.
302
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,021
That is just not done
in politics, Hank.
303
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,025
There's no way I'm going
back to college.
304
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,026
I'm a teacher.
305
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,392
I'm done learning.
306
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,597
Can you believe
that woman?
307
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,862
I'm real sorry
what happened to you, sug,
308
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,925
but the important thing
309
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,438
is to keep the after-school
program alive, right?
310
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,529
The what?
311
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,869
Oh, yeah, of course.
312
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:25,003
For the children, but can we
really trust Minh to deliver?
313
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,012
I mean, come on,
this is a woman who makes
314
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,946
dumb blonde jokes
behind your back.
315
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,474
Minh makes dumb blonde jokes
behind my back?
316
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,009
Hey, don't drag me into
your little cat fight.
317
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,613
I just came over to save
the after-school program.
318
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,488
Oh, that witch!
319
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:39,616
Here's what
I'm thinking:
320
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,990
we dig up some
dirt on Minh,
321
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:44,053
and you do an expos�
on the local hews.
322
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,759
Then, after her support
is totally gone,
323
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,198
I jump into the race
324
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:51,226
( yelling ): and give that
freakin' dog the beating of her life!
325
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,739
Well, I don't know.
326
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,764
That kind of reporting
isn't really my arena.
327
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:58,436
Nancy, how much
longer do you think
328
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,470
you can milk this sexy
"weather girl" act?
329
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,380
Two, three...
two years tops?
330
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,408
This is your chance
to be taken seriously.
331
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,920
Get on the air
332
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:11,151
and deliver the biggest
news flash of your career�
333
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,589
"Peggy Hill is running
for school board!"
334
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,923
Well, I do want
to be taken seriously,
335
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,360
and I have some ideas...
336
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,592
Oh, honey,
I'm sure you do.
337
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,395
It's just that no one
ever listens to me...
338
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:23,130
Okay, okay. We have to
think constructively
339
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:24,830
and get emotional
about this.
340
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,669
Now, how do we
destroy Minh?
341
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,071
Oh, there she is.
342
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:29,404
( Tightly ).
Smile and wave.
343
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,342
Smile and wave.
344
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:34,642
I bury you.
345
00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:40,142
NANCY: What are
they saying, Dale?
346
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:44,419
Kahn is asking Minh
to pass the potatoes.
347
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,424
Oh, come on!
348
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,426
I need something
juicier than that!
349
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,419
I tried to slip
in their house as a paperboy,
350
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,058
but Mr. So up ha no us in phone
recognized me.
351
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:57,263
But I grabbed their garbage.
352
00:13:57,303 --> 00:14:04,300
Huh. Look who's too good
to hang onto a Sizzler coupon.
353
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,539
What do we have here?
354
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,545
Come to Mama.
355
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:09,344
NANCY (on TV ):
And that cold front
356
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,544
looks like
it wants to stay put
357
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,813
right through the weekend.
358
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,947
So while there might be
a "spring" in your step,
359
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,547
there's none in the forecast.
360
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,557
Muy bien, Nancy.
361
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,322
Just how much fun
is a barrel of monkeys?
362
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,590
Well, two radio DJs...
363
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:24,187
And Miguel,
here's some advice
364
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,198
on the upcoming
school board election.
365
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,132
I'd think again if
you're planning
366
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,135
on voting for Minh
So up ha no us in phone.
367
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:31,637
I don't think these are
368
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,639
the kinds
of pay-per-view programs
369
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,801
that a friend of the children
should be watching.
370
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,037
( Kahn screams )
371
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,635
I told you,
Minh, but no!
372
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,874
You just had to see
"Hobos Boxing."
373
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:42,881
...no grasp on finances.
Oh, yeah!
374
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,883
Fortunately,
there is an alternative.
375
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,409
I know someone who'd
be perfect for the job.
376
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,683
She's a dedicated parent,
she's smart,
377
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,690
and she's more than
just a pretty face.
378
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,816
She's me!
379
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,827
Nancy Hicks-Gribble!
Pick Hicks!
380
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,590
What?!
381
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,687
NANCY:
And if elected...
382
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,027
Oh, well.
383
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,533
.To turn
Arlen's schools into...
384
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,091
Wait! 'm running, too!
385
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,297
Peggy Hill for school board!
386
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,671
( Groans ) PEGGY:
These are my people!
387
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,904
They want to hear me speak!
Arlen!
388
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:26,557
Peggy, do I have these
in the right order?
389
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,559
You better.
390
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,492
Here comes someone.
391
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,895
Big smiles!
392
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,956
Oh, it's only Kahn.
393
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,765
Ow, ow, ow!
394
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:40,296
{ singsongy ):
Go to hell.
395
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,501
Phase two complete!
396
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,909
Van rented,
ready to pick up constituents
397
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,275
and sweep election!
398
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:49,304
Phase three-- ha.
A victory dance!
399
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:52,409
( Singing merrily )
400
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,817
You rent minivan?
401
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,252
What you thinking?!
402
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,120
Minivan seats seven people.
403
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,955
I need 15 to swing election.
404
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:04,327
How much Peggy Hill
paying you to be jackass?
405
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:05,762
Something's wrong
with the bug.
406
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,393
I can't hear a thing,
but I see they have a new van.
407
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,836
I bet they're using it
to bus their constituents
408
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,168
to the polling place!
409
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,834
DALE ( over microphone):
Well, we'll out van them,
410
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,843
but we'll keep ours
in the garage.
411
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,242
They'll never see it coming.
412
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,440
Idiots!
413
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,448
( Dale laughing )
414
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,540
Why isn't this working?
415
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,948
I rewired it myself.
416
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,885
You better
get out of here, Gribble!
417
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:31,151
I am this close
to kicking your ass!
418
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,851
No one threatens me.
419
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:36,192
I am this close to kicking
your ass!
420
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,196
Oh, yeah?
421
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,996
Well, now I'm this close
to kicking your ass!
422
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,728
Let's settle this like men.
423
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:44,793
Hank, whose fingers
are closer?
424
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:45,861
Whoa, whoa.
425
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,374
Just because our wives
are at each other's throats
426
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,738
doesn't mean we have to be.
427
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,140
Oh, easy for you to say.
428
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,201
Your wife a loser.
429
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,804
Now, now, Kahn,
430
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,143
maybe Hank's right.
431
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,151
I say we let bygones be...
(yells)
432
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,016
Sneak attack! I win!
433
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:07,755
I'm so hungry and tired
I messed up the last 50 buttons.
434
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:10,421
Bobby's out, Hank's in.
435
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:14,422
Fine. When are we
having dinner?
436
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,435
It's 9:15.
437
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,766
( Groans )
438
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:21,103
Fine. Here's $10. Go.
439
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,403
( Grunts )
440
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:25,741
DALE:
All right, Joseph, easy.
441
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:26,745
Easy.
442
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,680
Joseph, stop! The sign!
443
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,012
( Clattering )
444
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,677
So, they have a van.
445
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:36,052
Okay, Hank,
Minh has her support here.
446
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:39,718
I'll concede Little Laos to her.
447
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,591
Nancy's support is...
448
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:42,992
well, she's been blathering
449
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,997
about all the dogs
named after her
450
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:45,998
in this trailer park.
451
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:46,999
Which leaves...
452
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,001
all of this... for me.
453
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,002
Hank
454
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:52,562
we're going to need
a bus.
455
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,835
We're not spending
money to rent a bus.
456
00:17:54,874 --> 00:18:01,803
( Yelling ): It's for
the freakin' children!
457
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:04,316
Hank, the phone poll numbers
are not good.
458
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,444
The projections show Nancy
with four votes,
459
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:09,853
Minh also with four votes,
and Peggy Hill-- zero.
460
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,324
Now, I can increase my margin
of error to five votes,
461
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:15,350
but even then, I am just winning
by the skin of my teeth.
462
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,624
Well, when people see
that fl yer you put
463
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,630
in the PennySaver...
464
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,632
That doesn't come out
until after election day!
465
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,657
Now, I need
to motivate my base--
466
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,603
The hard-core constituents
who would fight and die for me.
467
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,766
Hank, you have
to make me a base!
468
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,400
Call your customers!
469
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,843
Uh, I don't really
think I should mix
470
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,436
politics and propane.
471
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:35,573
People's passions
run pretty high
472
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,582
about both of those.
473
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:41,019
Hank, I cannot allow myself
to be beaten by Nancy or Minh!
474
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,545
I could never show my face
in this neighborhood again!
475
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:46,456
I know, but with your
numbers being zero and all,
476
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:47,653
maybe you should
just prepare
477
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,127
a concession speech.
478
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,253
What?!
479
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,560
You want me to concede
to those two?!
480
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,656
Hank, you're out!
481
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,758
Peggy, you're in!
482
00:18:55,801 --> 00:19:01,296
I'm no weather bimbo, but
forecast looking cloudy
483
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,207
for you to win!
484
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,871
Just because I'm beautiful
doesn't mean I'm harmless, sug.
485
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:09,574
Have you ever wondered
what happened
486
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,447
to the weathercaster
before me?
487
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,782
DALE:
J It's the voting van I
488
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,913
J Yes, the voting van is here I
489
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,616
J It's the voting van I
490
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,183
I To take you
to the polling place I
491
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:24,629
I So let's all get on the van
right now I
492
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:28,396
4 And vote
for Nancy Hicks-Gribble I
493
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:30,562
4 For school board. I
494
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,162
Hey, there, friend.
495
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:36,641
Ah! Oh, uh, I'm here
for the voters.
496
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,974
Votin' truck already
done come and took 'em.
497
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,242
But... but I'm the one
who was supposed to have done
498
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,749
come and took 'em.
499
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,251
Hang on there, mister.
500
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,685
I want to talk to you
about that fancy hat
501
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,915
you got on your head there.
502
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:53,892
Uh, but I don't want to talk
about my fancy hat.
503
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,325
( Screaming )
504
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,851
( Grunting )
505
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,421
Son-of-a-bitch!
506
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,092
( Dale whimpering )
507
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:12,170
( Honking )
Hello, election bus here!
508
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:18,141
Somebody!
509
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:25,953
Down, Nancy.
510
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:28,756
Hey, driver, when are we
getting to the polls?
511
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,764
Never.
512
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,743
I cannot
believe we lost
513
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,545
to that Chapman
looney.
514
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,982
Yeah, not only that,
515
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,178
it say there
she's getting rid
516
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,154
of after-school program.
517
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,885
And biology and all
"offensive" encyclopedias,
518
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,358
whatever that means.
519
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:04,659
I guess we kind of
burnt the toast on this one.
520
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:05,664
( All sighing)
521
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,166
Hey, she only got 18 votes.
522
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:10,567
I hijacked twice as many of
your voters on my bus yesterday.
523
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,071
We could have crushed her!
524
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,799
Yeah,
into fine powder.
525
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,307
BOBBY:
Ow, my eye!
526
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,308
JOSEPH:
Cool!
527
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,276
Maybe we should
spend some time
528
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:19,744
with the kids today.
529
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,975
We could be
their after-school program.
530
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,846
Maybe we take them to...
531
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:24,850
A museum.
532
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:25,851
Or the zoo.
533
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:29,685
Which is a museum
of animals.
534
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:09,891
PEGGY: it's for
the freakin' children!
535
00:22:09,941 --> 00:22:14,491
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