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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:06,056 --> 00:00:08,889
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION
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Well, you obviously enjoyed
that sandwich, John Redcorn.
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00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,287
Now let me tell you
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about a different kind of
sandwich you might enjoy.
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At Strickland Propane,
we offer our customers
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a sandwich of excellent service.
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The meat...
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Hank, I'm sure
your propane is wonderful,
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but the reason
I met you for lunch
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00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:52,502
is because I'm worried
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00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:54,504
about the way Dale
is raising my son.
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Okay, easy there.
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Joseph is Dale's son,
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00:00:57,608 --> 00:00:59,770
and you have nothing
to worry about.
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Joseph's a good kid.
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00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,679
Heck, he's Bobby's
best friend.
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00:01:02,713 --> 00:01:04,738
I saw him unscrewing
saltshaker tops
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00:01:04,781 --> 00:01:05,839
at the food court.
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00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:07,941
He ruined an old man's
taco salad.
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Well, you know
how boys are.
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Yes, but there comes a time
in every boy's life
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00:01:12,723 --> 00:01:15,522
when he must decide
to be good or bad.
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And a big strong boy like Joseph
can be very good, or very bad.
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He needs a vision quest
to guide him.
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Vision quest?
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All cultures have
a similar rite of passage.
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00:01:26,069 --> 00:01:28,060
Your people have a bar mitzvah.
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Uh, we're not Jewish.
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Really?
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Look, if Joseph
needs something,
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Dale's his father, and
he's going to take care of it.
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Come on, guess.
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Bear or raccoon?
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I don't know. Bear?
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Ha! Trick question.
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No one knows if the giant panda
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is really a member
of the bear or raccoon family.
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Tomorrow is going to be
the coolest field trip ever.
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Cooler than
the science museum
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00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,601
when Miss Cooper's
shirt fell open?
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00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:00,364
Is that what all
the laughter was?
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00:02:00,437 --> 00:02:02,166
I was in the giant ear.
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00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:03,829
Uh-oh.
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00:02:04,775 --> 00:02:07,301
Steve, Jake and Dave.
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Hey, Gribble and Tubby.
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Get your butts over here.
Now!
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Hey, would anybody recognize
gangrene if they saw it?
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Hey, Bobby,
where's Joseph?
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00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,561
Stupid Joseph.
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00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:27,893
What the heck was that about?
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00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:29,831
Oh, it's a very
difficult age.
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00:02:29,866 --> 00:02:30,890
Yeah, man,
I tell you what.
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00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:32,902
You talking about all them
raging hormones, man.
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Want to be a rebel
and still a kid, man.
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Talking about
who am I, man?
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( Glass shattering )
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STEVE:
Oops.
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00:02:44,047 --> 00:02:45,606
Well, what are you looking at?
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00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:46,548
I don't know.
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00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,813
But if it was a mirror,
I'd kill myself.
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( Faughing )
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Whoa. Those were the
coolest kids I've ever seen,
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00:02:56,126 --> 00:02:58,527
and they appear to be
friends with my son.
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Dale, did you see
what they did
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00:03:00,564 --> 00:03:02,054
to Bill's recyclables?
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00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,396
Rude. Rude boys.
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00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,128
Pish-tosh. What's the harm?
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00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:06,465
The harm is
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00:03:06,503 --> 00:03:08,631
a little saying that goes
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00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:11,369
"One bad apple
spoils the bunch."
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Well, looks like a whole mess
of bad apples
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just got dumped on our kids.
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00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:17,039
You know who'd be
a good influence?
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00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,276
My son, Trey.
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00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:23,048
Last week it was Travis.
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00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:24,053
So?
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00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:27,284
You're cutting
the field trip?
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00:03:27,324 --> 00:03:32,854
You're going to get in the
hugest trouble in the world.
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00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:39,830
Give your little pandas
a shout-out for me.
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HANK:
Maybe Redcorn was right.
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Joseph's falling in
with the wrong crowd,
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and every group of bad kids
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00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,112
needs a heavy boy
to be the lookout.
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00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,944
And Bobby is so impressionable.
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00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,109
I hope he has the strength
to stand up to him.
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00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,413
Mom, Dad, I just saw
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00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,045
the most incredible
fabric softener ad.
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00:03:57,087 --> 00:03:59,078
Is the supermarket
still open?
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00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,454
Peggy, keep him here.
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00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:04,893
Did you know there
exists a softness
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00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:08,865
beyond any softness
you've ever felt before?
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00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:12,592
MAN ( on phone ): Federal
Reserve. How may I direct your call?
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00:04:12,636 --> 00:04:14,365
You don't know me,
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00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:15,269
but I know what you're up to.
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00:04:15,305 --> 00:04:19,435
NANCY: Sorry, Dale, didn't
know you were on the phone.
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00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,534
(gasps )
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00:04:20,577 --> 00:04:23,205
Dale, I don't normally
go in for that
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00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:25,112
"it takes a village" garbage,
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00:04:25,148 --> 00:04:28,140
but you've got a situation
with your Joseph
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00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,485
that I can't have
spilling over onto my Bobby.
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00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,513
I know, Hank,
but what can I do?
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00:04:34,558 --> 00:04:36,026
You can tell Joseph
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00:04:36,059 --> 00:04:39,051
he's not to hang around
those kids anymore.
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00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:40,585
I can't do that.
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00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:43,224
This is his chance to be cool,
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00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,894
and you only get one chance,
Hank.
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00:04:45,936 --> 00:04:47,131
I know.
109
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:48,137
Whoa, there,
Gribble.
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00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:49,138
Where's the fire?
111
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:50,139
Say, "In your wife's pants.�
112
00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:51,140
Say it.
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00:04:51,174 --> 00:04:52,835
In your
wife's pants!
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00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:56,141
( All laughing )
115
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In your wife's pants!
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00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,082
I won't do it.
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00:05:02,118 --> 00:05:05,053
Those kids like Joseph,
and they're cool.
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00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:06,055
They're really cool.
119
00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:09,184
Dang it, Dale, no one
likes being the bad guy,
120
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,593
but sometimes that's
part of being a dad.
121
00:05:11,628 --> 00:05:13,118
I don't want
to be a dad.
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00:05:13,163 --> 00:05:14,221
It's too hard.
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00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:16,164
Dale, you can't
just ignore...
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00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:18,327
Yes? This is Dale.
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00:05:18,368 --> 00:05:20,336
Dale, the phone
didn't even ring.
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00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:22,338
How good of you
to return my call.
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00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:24,636
Sorry, Hank, this
will have to wait.
128
00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,665
REDCORN:
Thank you for reconsidering
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00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:27,802
a vision quest, Hank.
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00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:29,403
You think it'll
fix Joseph?
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00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:30,413
It fixed me.
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00:05:30,447 --> 00:05:32,415
There aren't too
many former roadies
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00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:34,417
who own their own
healing centers.
134
00:05:34,451 --> 00:05:36,419
So, how does one
of these things work?
135
00:05:36,453 --> 00:05:38,421
Think of a vision quest
as a purification process
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00:05:38,455 --> 00:05:40,924
to ready the body and mind
to receive wisdom.
137
00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:41,924
( Indian flute plays )
138
00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:45,121
One prepares for a vision
by fasting for 24 hours�-
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00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:48,028
no food, no water, nothing.
140
00:05:48,064 --> 00:05:49,532
Then, one must push the body
141
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,967
to a point
of physical exhaustion.
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00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:52,969
To achieve this,
143
00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:55,870
the seeker will often wander
the wilderness for many hours
144
00:05:55,906 --> 00:05:56,873
until he collapses.
145
00:05:56,907 --> 00:05:58,033
HANK:
Got it.
146
00:05:58,074 --> 00:05:59,542
No eating or drinking.
147
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,840
Lots of hiking,
then he'll see something
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00:06:01,878 --> 00:06:03,573
that'll make him okay?
149
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,945
Hopefully.
150
00:06:05,982 --> 00:06:07,143
In my vision,
151
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:09,413
I saw a majestic tree
blowing in the wind.
152
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,352
But the tree had no roots,
153
00:06:11,388 --> 00:06:14,517
and was lifted up
and blown away.
154
00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:19,086
( Playing hard rock music )
155
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,995
Hey, Red com!
Green tube-top, row four!
156
00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:23,363
I knew then
that the tribal elders
157
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,562
had interpreted
my vision correctly,
158
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,070
and that wrangling groupies
for Winger
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00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:29,367
was no way to live my life.
160
00:06:29,406 --> 00:06:32,501
So, I was thinking
I would take him
161
00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:34,909
to Lake Buchanan
on Thursday.
162
00:06:34,945 --> 00:06:36,379
Yeah, uh, I'm not sure
163
00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:37,847
how well that's going
to work
164
00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:39,906
with the whole,
uh, keeping Dale
165
00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:42,044
from knowing
about your, uh...
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hand in
Joseph's creation.
167
00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:46,779
But, Hank, it's really important
that Joseph's vision
168
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,689
be interpreted correctly
if it is to guide him
169
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,819
to the proper life-path.
170
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:51,918
Well, then, I guess
171
00:06:51,962 --> 00:06:53,953
I'll bring Dale
and the boys camping.
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00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,297
Joseph will have a vision;
I'll report back with the dream,
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00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:01,168
and you'll fill me in on
the sacred wisdom and whatnot.
174
00:07:01,204 --> 00:07:03,104
It is a fair
compromise.
175
00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:06,302
But, Hank, this is an important
ritual among my people.
176
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,708
Don't half-ass it.
177
00:07:07,744 --> 00:07:11,009
Hey, I never told you
178
00:07:11,047 --> 00:07:14,711
what a great time
you missed at the pandas.
179
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:17,049
We got to eat
bamboo.
180
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:19,419
Then Clark Peters
made a butt-crack
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00:07:19,456 --> 00:07:20,787
out of his stomach fat,
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00:07:20,824 --> 00:07:23,589
and a panda totally
looked right at him.
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00:07:23,627 --> 00:07:24,594
Hil-arious!
184
00:07:24,628 --> 00:07:28,064
Plus, I got this.
185
00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:29,532
Her name is Pang-Ni,
186
00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:30,863
and when I
bought her,
187
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:34,700
she was filled with
Chinese energy drink.
188
00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:45,708
You know, Joseph, uh,
and, Bobby, and, Dale,
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00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:47,717
while we're here, it's important
190
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:49,742
to listen to what
the land is telling us.
191
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:53,745
Yep. You know, this land once
belonged to the Caddo tribe?
192
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:56,760
And the story goes that they
once offended their spirits...
193
00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:58,852
Hey, speaking
of the red man.
194
00:07:58,895 --> 00:07:59,862
It's John Redcorn.
195
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:03,355
Hey, what a co-inky-dink.
196
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,459
All of us camping here,
pretty funny.
197
00:08:05,502 --> 00:08:06,128
Huh.
198
00:08:06,169 --> 00:08:09,002
Oh, you mean,
funny-weird.
199
00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:11,064
That ls odd.
200
00:08:11,107 --> 00:08:12,268
Well, I won't
keep you.
201
00:08:12,308 --> 00:08:13,332
But, hey, remember
to listen
202
00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:15,242
to what the land
is telling you.
203
00:08:15,278 --> 00:08:16,973
Especially
Joseph.
204
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:21,041
I don't think
I've ever been hungrier.
205
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,074
Yeah,
I never thought
206
00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:24,052
I could go this far
without food,
207
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,885
but we're doing it,
right, Dad?
208
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,686
Give us some food, Hank!
209
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:32,286
I'm starving.
210
00:08:32,328 --> 00:08:33,659
Oh, blast it.
211
00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:35,791
I think I left the food
back in the van.
212
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:36,799
Blast it.
213
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:43,170
( Dale and Bobby groan )
214
00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:48,110
( Dale gasping )
215
00:08:48,144 --> 00:08:52,081
Could you have picked
a site farther away, Hank?
216
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,913
Yeah, what
was I thinking?
217
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,885
Your problem is, you never
Think about anything.
218
00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:02,381
( Coughing and wheezing )
219
00:09:09,032 --> 00:09:10,727
Look alive, boy.
220
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,963
Why can't we just go to sleep?
221
00:09:13,002 --> 00:09:14,299
Bears.
222
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,931
Hey, maybe Dale, Bobby and I
should go get some more wood.
223
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,372
Joseph, you stay here.
224
00:09:18,408 --> 00:09:21,343
The only thing keeping you safe
from bears is this fire,
225
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:24,472
so don't fall asleep
and let it go out.
226
00:09:24,514 --> 00:09:25,982
Whatever.
227
00:09:26,015 --> 00:09:27,574
DALE: I don't want
to walk anymore!
228
00:09:27,617 --> 00:09:30,143
How come he
gets to stay?
229
00:09:30,186 --> 00:09:31,676
( Wheezing )
230
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,246
There's wood.
231
00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:37,851
We're passing all kinds of wood.
232
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:42,491
Wood, wood, wood, wood,
wood, wood.
233
00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:43,499
Wood.
234
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:46,332
That's a weird word.
235
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:47,859
Wood... wood.
236
00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,429
Weird... word.
237
00:09:49,472 --> 00:09:51,167
Weird... wood.
238
00:09:51,207 --> 00:09:53,107
Yeah, maybe this
is far enough.
239
00:09:53,143 --> 00:09:55,111
All right, who
wants a candy bar?
240
00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:57,079
Oh, thank God.
I'm starving.
241
00:09:57,113 --> 00:09:58,080
Dale?
242
00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,912
Wood... wood, wood.
243
00:09:59,949 --> 00:10:01,849
Wood, wood, wood.
244
00:10:01,885 --> 00:10:02,852
Wood!
245
00:10:02,886 --> 00:10:03,853
Wood.
246
00:10:03,887 --> 00:10:07,619
( Indian flute & tambourine
playing )
247
00:10:07,657 --> 00:10:10,786
Oh, my God, Dale,
are you all right?
248
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,488
I see the buffalo!
249
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:19,367
I see the Indian!
250
00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:20,665
I... am... the Indian.
251
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,296
Oh, dang it.
252
00:10:22,338 --> 00:10:24,102
Dad, where the hell are you?
253
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:25,665
Dad?
254
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,678
BOBBY: Your dad's hot coming.
255
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,442
He's rolling around on
the ground and eating bark,
256
00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:33,575
and my dad's saying
"dang it" a lot.
257
00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:37,211
This trip is so... sucks!
258
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:39,221
You know what
the land's telling me?
259
00:10:39,255 --> 00:10:40,723
Wreck stuff!
260
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:42,418
(gasps )
261
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,426
That's your dad's
sleeping bag!
262
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,359
( Joseph laughing )
263
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:49,764
Look at it burn!
264
00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:57,029
( Growls )
265
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,040
Hey, Bobby,
266
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,566
I wanted to talk
to you about Joseph.
267
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:04,103
If, uh, if Joseph's planning
to do something bad
268
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,114
I want you to tell me.
269
00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:07,048
Wait a second.
270
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,074
'You want me to be a narc.
271
00:11:09,118 --> 00:11:10,244
Bobby, sometimes
272
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:12,186
narcing is good.
273
00:11:12,222 --> 00:11:14,953
You see that?
274
00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:18,586
If Boomhauer hadn't called
me and narced on Bill
275
00:11:18,628 --> 00:11:20,858
I wouldn't have known
he was in trouble.
276
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:21,864
Relax!
277
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:22,865
Don't struggle.
278
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,867
'You're just making
things worse.
279
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:25,868
Don't tell me
what to do.
280
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,370
I'm going to go
out there
281
00:11:27,403 --> 00:11:29,337
and try to pry
that tire off Bill.
282
00:11:29,372 --> 00:11:32,342
I'll probably get kicked
and scratched in the process,
283
00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:33,638
but that's what
friends do.
284
00:11:33,676 --> 00:11:36,008
( Knock at door )
285
00:11:36,045 --> 00:11:39,015
Hello, my beautiful
Indian brother!
286
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,072
Can I come in?
287
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,244
I got a vision
that needs interpreting.
288
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,252
( Sighs)
289
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,811
So I've heard.
290
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:46,913
Please, Dale, that
belonged to my father.
291
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,617
Yeah, it's nice.
292
00:11:48,658 --> 00:11:50,786
What's that made
out of, rigatoni?
293
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:52,921
Bones.
294
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:56,421
Anyway, try running this
vision through the old noggin.
295
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,831
There was an Indian--
296
00:11:57,867 --> 00:12:00,165
I couldn't see his face,
but he was a big guy,
297
00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:03,366
about yay tall
and yay wide,
298
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:06,137
wearing a magnificent
buffalo headdress,
299
00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:09,201
and he was making
love to my wife!
300
00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:10,440
Dale, I'm not sure I--
301
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,447
Hold on, there's more.
302
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:15,008
I suddenly found
myself in a hospital,
303
00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:18,112
watching Nancy give
birth to Joseph,
304
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:22,455
except Joseph was wearing
the exact same headdress
305
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,051
as the faceless Indian.
306
00:12:24,093 --> 00:12:26,824
So, working backwards...
307
00:12:26,863 --> 00:12:32,063
I fathered an Indian child,
therefore I am an Indian!
308
00:12:32,101 --> 00:12:34,934
Okay, that's one interpretation.
309
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,939
So, do you have
a regular place
310
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,943
you buy your feathers
and bonnets and so forth?
311
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:40,943
( Sighs)
312
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:41,944
It's a website.
313
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:42,945
Yep.
314
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:43,946
Yup.
315
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:44,947
Mm-hmm.
316
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,346
( War whoop )
317
00:12:46,382 --> 00:12:49,443
Well, I'm just gonna come
right out and say it, Dale.
318
00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:51,544
Something seems different
about you.
319
00:12:51,587 --> 00:12:53,214
Something is different, Bill.
320
00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:55,020
I had a vision.
321
00:12:55,058 --> 00:12:56,116
I'm an Indian now.
322
00:12:56,159 --> 00:12:57,126
Oh.
323
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,288
I always wondered why I hated
324
00:12:59,329 --> 00:13:02,492
the federal government and loved
tobacco with such passions
325
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,159
but now it all makes sense.
326
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,033
Okay, time-out,
Sitting Jackass.
327
00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:09,038
Have you looked
in a mirror lately?
328
00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:11,905
You are the goddang
whitest person I've ever seen.
329
00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:14,433
I am the albino buffalo!
330
00:13:14,477 --> 00:13:17,879
Deal with it.
331
00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,884
Is this your lunch period,
or are you cutting?
332
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,885
'C-'Cause I'm
definitely cutting.
333
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,478
We're cutting
and making plans.
334
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,749
Tomorrow night
335
00:13:25,788 --> 00:13:26,755
we are going to show
336
00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:29,281
those stupid fat-ass pandas
who's boss.
337
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:30,850
We're gonna paint them!
338
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,760
Yeah, we're gonna paint
our names all over them.
339
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:34,922
( Nervous laugh )
340
00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:37,023
Bu-But those pandas aren't
gonna just sit around
341
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,329
and let you paint them.
342
00:13:38,368 --> 00:13:40,336
That's why we're gonna drug 'em.
343
00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:42,634
We got bamboo
soaking in Nyquil.
344
00:13:46,175 --> 00:13:49,839
Hey, Joseph,
nice skeletons.
345
00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:51,677
Knife through
the eye, huh?
346
00:13:51,714 --> 00:13:53,944
That's probably
what killed him.
347
00:13:53,983 --> 00:13:56,782
If you're gonna give me a
hard time, do it fast, Bobby,
348
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:58,787
'cause I'm getting
out of here.
349
00:13:58,821 --> 00:13:59,788
'You're cutting again?
350
00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:02,450
You keep it up,
you're gonna get expelled!
351
00:14:02,492 --> 00:14:04,790
807 Steve's older brother
got expelled.
352
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:07,125
Now he's got his own business
filling vending machines.
353
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:08,790
Gets all the snacks he wants.
354
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:12,790
Hey, how about we go do
something really bad
355
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,064
after school together?
356
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:19,303
We could buy a pane of glass
and break it. My treat!
357
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:20,673
Wow. You'd do that for me?
358
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:25,580
My dad's got a new edger
we can use.
359
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,209
'You know, Bobby, I haven't
been able to eat all day,
360
00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:30,151
and I can't sleep.
361
00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:31,517
Can I tell you something?
362
00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:32,953
What's up?
363
00:14:32,989 --> 00:14:33,956
( Sighs)
364
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:34,957
Steve and those guys
365
00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:36,959
are planning this big thing
at the zoo tonight.
366
00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:37,960
What?
367
00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:39,086
I shouldn't have said anything.
368
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,493
You can't tell anyone!
369
00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:44,057
Everybody, I'd like you to
welcome a special guest today.
370
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:47,263
A man from our local
Native American community
371
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,704
who took time out
of his busy schedule
372
00:14:49,739 --> 00:14:53,835
to share a little something
about his heritage.
373
00:14:53,876 --> 00:14:55,605
Good morning, class!
374
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:59,172
Or, as my people say, "How!"
375
00:14:59,215 --> 00:15:00,944
I can see your Dad's junk.
376
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:06,080
( Fow mumbling sounds )
377
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:12,459
( Indian flute music plays )
378
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,553
Dad! Dad!!
379
00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:15,428
Everything all right, son?
380
00:15:15,465 --> 00:15:18,457
I was just doing some farming
and I thought I heard something.
381
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,468
You're not crazy!
382
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,733
I just had one of those vision
things you were talking about!
383
00:15:22,772 --> 00:15:24,934
Maybe I should go talk to
Mr. Redcorn like you did,
384
00:15:24,974 --> 00:15:26,237
find out what it means.
385
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:28,073
You don't need John Redcorn.
386
00:15:28,111 --> 00:15:31,411
As an Indian, I'm fully
qualified to interpret dreams.
387
00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:32,414
Really?
388
00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:33,711
Is the wind sacred?
389
00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:34,716
Well...
390
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:39,620
I 'was running
with a herd of buffalo.
391
00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:41,714
But I didn't run fast enough,
so I got trampled.
392
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:45,694
And one of those Pandas
was staring at me.
393
00:15:45,728 --> 00:15:47,218
DALE:
That's pretty weird.
394
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:49,755
Well, I guess the panda
kind of makes sense.
395
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,530
Those guys, you know,
my new friends?
396
00:15:52,568 --> 00:15:54,935
They were gonna do something
real bad at the zoo tonight.
397
00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:56,803
I know what
the dream means.
398
00:15:56,839 --> 00:16:00,571
The dream means:
Go with the herd!
399
00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:02,203
Those kids are your destiny--
400
00:16:02,245 --> 00:16:04,805
They could be your one shot
atcoolness!
401
00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:07,179
So I should try to do
what they're doing
402
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,547
even if I think it's bad?
403
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:11,349
Yes. Yes!
404
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,186
No. No, you're not gonna
just run with the herd.
405
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,191
The dream means
you've got to run faster
406
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,454
and be even cooler than them.
407
00:16:17,493 --> 00:16:19,757
But they're gonna paint
their names on the pandas!
408
00:16:19,795 --> 00:16:21,763
I could never be
cooler than them.
409
00:16:21,797 --> 00:16:23,765
'Course you could...
by killing a panda!
410
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:28,066
Yeah, but... isn't killing 'em
like a crime?
411
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:32,007
Absolutely, for a white
man, but we're Indians.
412
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:33,873
We can kill just
about anything
413
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,174
so long as we use
all the parts.
414
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,180
Hey, how'd you like
to go to school
415
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,943
wearing a panda head
as a hat?
416
00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,711
Yeah, that would be cool.
417
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,446
Come on, get dressed.
418
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:45,716
We're going to the zoo.
419
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:56,693
What are you doing, sug?
420
00:16:56,732 --> 00:16:58,325
Oh, I get it.
421
00:16:58,367 --> 00:16:59,994
No time for that, cowgirl.
422
00:17:00,036 --> 00:17:02,528
Joseph had a dream
about getting trampled
423
00:17:02,572 --> 00:17:03,733
by a buffalo herd,
424
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,741
so we're off to do
something spectacular
425
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,743
to make sure
the cool kids like him.
426
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,007
Bail money's in the armoire
just in case. Love you!
427
00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:16,645
No, no, Nancy,
the dream is a warning.
428
00:17:16,686 --> 00:17:19,155
Dale's going to ruin
Joseph's life!
429
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:22,158
I have relied on others
to raise my son for too long.
430
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:24,455
No offense, but it ends now.
431
00:17:24,493 --> 00:17:29,454
DALE:
Shoot, the gate's locked.
432
00:17:29,498 --> 00:17:31,626
What was that chant
Redcorn taught me?
433
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:33,601
The one I used
to open the mustard?
434
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,626
{ chanting ):
J Hai-ya I
435
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:36,900
I Grey Poupon, hey-hoi... I
436
00:17:36,939 --> 00:17:37,804
Dad, watch out!
437
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,003
The gate is open!
438
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:44,069
Thank you, gate spirit.
439
00:17:46,515 --> 00:17:48,449
Oh, my God,
they're eloping!
440
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,451
No, sug.
441
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,180
It's about Joseph.
442
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,187
Can we come in?
443
00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:55,350
500 years of oppression
444
00:17:55,391 --> 00:17:58,383
and somehow I find this
the most irritating.
445
00:17:58,427 --> 00:18:02,694
We must find Dale and Joseph
before it's too late.
446
00:18:02,732 --> 00:18:03,699
( Sighs)
447
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,633
I think I know
where they went.
448
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:09,730
Is it narcing if I tell Pang-Ni
and you overhear it?
449
00:18:09,772 --> 00:18:10,739
Bingo!
450
00:18:10,773 --> 00:18:13,174
You can't hide
from an Indian tracker.
451
00:18:13,209 --> 00:18:15,735
Let's move.
452
00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:17,473
( Groans )
453
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,675
Joseph's never going
to talk to me again.
454
00:18:19,715 --> 00:18:23,174
'You made a tough choice, but
you might have saved your friend.
455
00:18:23,219 --> 00:18:26,052
My people have a saying:
When we ask for strength,
456
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:28,250
the Great Spirit sends us
difficulties,
457
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:29,258
which make us strong.
458
00:18:29,292 --> 00:18:30,885
That's pretty cool.
459
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,257
You like that?
460
00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,888
Hey, pass it on to Joseph.
461
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,090
You know, if you want.
462
00:18:35,131 --> 00:18:37,259
Either way,
it's no biggie to me.
463
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,264
DALE:
Joseph?
464
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,137
Yeah, Dad.
465
00:18:46,309 --> 00:18:47,538
'You are going to be so cool!
466
00:18:47,576 --> 00:18:48,873
I know!
467
00:18:48,911 --> 00:18:52,211
( War whoops )
468
00:18:52,248 --> 00:18:54,683
Cool. Some dumb-ass
left the gate open.
469
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:55,684
( War whoops )
470
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:59,951
Whoa, Gribble's gonna
shoot a panda!
471
00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:01,889
Man, he kills a panda,
472
00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:04,359
he'll be able to get
any chick he wants.
473
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:09,422
Joseph, put the bow down!
474
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:10,694
Please, sug!
475
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,098
Ignore the interlopers!
476
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:14,034
Focus on the hunt!
477
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,129
Al right,
Gribble! Do it!
478
00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:17,799
Kill that panda, man!
479
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,069
Let me get you in frame.
480
00:19:19,108 --> 00:19:20,633
Okay, kill it!
481
00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:24,579
The herd is pleased!
482
00:19:34,156 --> 00:19:35,521
You have to make
a choice, Joseph.
483
00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:39,186
Sometimes, a herd can be
the safest place there is,
484
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:41,458
but the wrong herd
can trample you.
485
00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:42,623
STEVE:
Kill it, Gribble!
486
00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:43,632
Kill it!
487
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:44,724
You heard him, kill it!
488
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,361
If I killed a panda at your age,
we'd be living
489
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:48,962
in the Governor's
mansion!
490
00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:54,408
Wow.
Whoa.
491
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,774
I didn't mean to shoot!
492
00:19:55,811 --> 00:19:56,869
It was an accident!
493
00:19:56,912 --> 00:19:58,277
He won't catch a bullet.
494
00:19:58,314 --> 00:19:59,611
I'm not shooting the panda.
495
00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:03,312
Hmm. Like a lead buffalo,
strong, independent--
496
00:20:03,352 --> 00:20:05,343
That will be your path.
497
00:20:05,388 --> 00:20:06,355
STEVE:
Hey!
498
00:20:06,389 --> 00:20:07,117
Boring!
499
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:10,353
All right, there isn't gonna
be a panda-kiting tonight.
500
00:20:10,393 --> 00:20:14,990
So, get home before
I call the cops!
501
00:20:19,568 --> 00:20:21,058
I thought
he was a cop.
502
00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:25,131
I'm not gonna lie
to you, Joseph.
503
00:20:25,174 --> 00:20:29,577
It sure would have been sweet
having a cool son.
504
00:20:29,612 --> 00:20:33,742
( Yelling ):
Hey!
505
00:20:33,783 --> 00:20:36,445
Hey, cool kids,
look at Joseph smoke! Look!
506
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:40,285
Nah, they're gone.
507
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,757
You know, Dad, sometimes
the coolest thing to do is
508
00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:45,056
make your own path
and not kill a panda.
509
00:20:45,094 --> 00:20:50,225
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
510
00:20:50,266 --> 00:20:53,099
Sorry I narced on you, Joseph.
511
00:20:53,135 --> 00:20:56,002
Yeah, well, sorry
I was such a tool.
512
00:20:56,038 --> 00:20:57,437
( Yawning )
513
00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:58,668
( Yawns )
514
00:20:58,707 --> 00:21:02,337
Dang, I hardly slept
at all last night.
515
00:21:02,378 --> 00:21:05,006
Then I had so much trouble
getting going this morning,
516
00:21:05,047 --> 00:21:07,038
I missed breakfast and the bus.
517
00:21:12,087 --> 00:21:15,717
CONTESTANT: I'm gonna go
with Bobby Panda for the win, Tom.
518
00:21:15,991 --> 00:21:18,187
TOM BERGERON: Bobby
Panda: A recent survey found
519
00:21:18,227 --> 00:21:22,721
that the most popular thing
Americans like to dip in fondue
520
00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:26,065
is... what?
521
00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:27,899
My mother-in-law!
522
00:21:27,937 --> 00:21:29,598
( Faughter)
523
00:21:29,638 --> 00:21:31,629
( Growls )
524
00:21:33,576 --> 00:21:37,137
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
525
00:22:10,846 --> 00:22:14,282
DOOLEY:
Hey what a coinki-dink!
526
00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:18,882
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