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[Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:24,007
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION]
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00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:49,700
Mmm, something smells good.
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00:00:49,733 --> 00:00:50,700
( Sniffs)
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00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:51,860
It's the menu.
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00:00:51,902 --> 00:00:55,236
Ha! Even the menu smells good
at Rattlesnakes!
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00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,263
WOMAN:
Luanne, Luanne...
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00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,106
Hey, Peggy, if I get
the chicken-fried chicken
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00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,475
and you get the chicken-
fried steak, we can...
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00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:03,673
Just a moment.
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00:01:03,714 --> 00:01:05,808
There is something that
I must take care of.
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00:01:05,849 --> 00:01:07,578
I do so know enough
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00:01:07,618 --> 00:01:11,077
not to put a salad-size fork
in the spoon bin.
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00:01:11,121 --> 00:01:13,556
Well, that fork
didn't just walk along
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00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:16,719
and hop in there by herself,
did she now?
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00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,125
No, she couldn't have.
17
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,322
Excuse me, ma'am.
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00:01:19,363 --> 00:01:21,695
Why are you calling
my niece a liar?
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00:01:21,732 --> 00:01:23,200
Luanne knows
we have a way
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00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:25,201
of doing things here
at Rattlesnakes.
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00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:26,202
She also knows
the consequences
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00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,328
of not following
that way.
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00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:29,339
You will not use threats
with her.
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00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:32,035
And you will not tell me how
to talk to my supervisees.
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00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:35,409
And you have just lost yourself
a waitress. She quits.
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00:01:35,445 --> 00:01:36,571
Well, now,
wait a minute.
27
00:01:36,613 --> 00:01:38,012
I wasn't going
to fire her.
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00:01:38,048 --> 00:01:39,948
Mm-hmm, it's too late
for your apologies
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00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:40,950
now isn't it?
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00:01:40,984 --> 00:01:42,952
Luanne, pick up your clothes
and three onion loaves.
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We are going home.
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00:01:44,154 --> 00:01:51,060
You know,
I probably
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00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:54,655
wouldn't have lost
my Rattlesnakes job
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00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,462
if you hadn't said anything.
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00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,867
Exactly. But I won't
be around forever
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00:01:58,902 --> 00:02:00,165
to do everything for you.
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00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,638
You have to learn
to help yourself.
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00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,267
How did it help me
to lose my job?
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00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:07,368
It will leave you open
for new opportunities.
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00:02:07,411 --> 00:02:10,108
Such as the one that I am
about to present to you.
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00:02:10,147 --> 00:02:12,479
The Learning Annex
is offering a class
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00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:14,610
on "The Joy
of Entrepreneuring.�
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00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:15,709
I sighed you up.
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00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:18,915
It would be really nice
if sometimes you could ask me
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00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:21,981
when you make decisions
about my life.
46
00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:24,756
You're right.
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00:02:24,795 --> 00:02:27,321
Would you like to go
at 7:00 or at 9:007
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00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,924
Mmm... 7:00.
49
00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:31,934
I'm sorry,
that won't work for me.
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00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:34,266
A lot of you think
of Trip Larsen
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00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,466
as the hog king of Arlen.
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00:02:36,506 --> 00:02:39,032
But he wasn't born
with that crown on his head.
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00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,510
He's an entrepreneur
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00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:42,740
an innovator,
and an inventor
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00:02:42,779 --> 00:02:47,341
responsible for edibilizing
two new parts of the pig.
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00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:50,649
( light applause )
57
00:02:50,687 --> 00:02:52,815
Thank you. Thank you.
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00:02:52,856 --> 00:02:55,791
My great-grandfather
started Larsen Pork Products
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00:02:55,826 --> 00:02:58,659
with little more than three pigs
and a killing hammer.
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00:02:58,695 --> 00:03:02,393
Today, I'm proud to say,
we kill more pigs than
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00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,332
well, pig hepatitis.
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00:03:04,368 --> 00:03:06,336
There's no secret to success,
really.
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00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:08,634
You have to have a passion
for whatever you do
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00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:11,004
whether it's processing pigs
or sheep
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00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:13,738
or cattle into food
and food products.
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00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,007
( Whispering ).
What's a food product?
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00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:17,343
It's like food,
but cheaper.
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00:03:17,381 --> 00:03:21,841
Hmm...
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00:03:21,885 --> 00:03:23,410
'Young lady, you had a question?
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00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:28,357
Yes. I find that I am
too busy succeeding
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00:03:28,392 --> 00:03:30,451
to keep track
of all of my ideas.
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00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:33,794
So, I keep them in a file.
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00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,993
Well, actually, that's more
of a comment than a question.
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00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,001
Well, thank you.
I think so, too.
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00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:45,808
Well, hello.
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00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:46,809
How did you
like my lecture?
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00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:47,810
Did you enjoy it?
78
00:03:47,844 --> 00:03:48,811
I mean, did you enjoy it
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00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:50,870
as much as I enjoyed
having you at my lecture?
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00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:52,746
I really liked the part
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00:03:52,783 --> 00:03:55,753
where you were excited
about what you do.
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00:03:55,786 --> 00:03:57,982
That's what I'm
trying to find--
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00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,853
A career I'm passionate about.
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00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:02,086
Like waitressing
at a steak house...
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00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:04,355
You know, you have
that special...
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00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:06,362
I don't know--
unspoiled quality
87
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:07,557
and something tells me
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00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:10,931
I think you'd do
pretty darn well in pork.
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00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,935
How'd you like to interview
for a position
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00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:13,936
with Larsen Pork Products?
91
00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:18,999
Well, I did work with
pork chops in my last job.
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00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:23,240
Well, to be honest,
sometimes I dropped a couple.
93
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,545
Well, see,
that's the beauty of pork...
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00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:28,415
it rinses off clean.
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00:04:28,452 --> 00:04:29,510
Ice cream?
96
00:04:29,553 --> 00:04:31,078
Hey, what are
you celebrating?
97
00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:34,386
Trip Larsen has scheduled
an interview with Luanne.
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00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:37,416
I get to go to his house!
99
00:04:37,461 --> 00:04:40,487
I don't see why he has
to see her at his house.
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00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,498
You think he could
be interested
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00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,500
in something more
than an interview?
102
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,502
The pork industry
is famously informal.
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00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,504
That's how these things
are done.
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00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,506
Uh, Luanne, sometimes
men aren't interested
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00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,908
in what they say
they're interested in.
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00:04:53,944 --> 00:04:58,142
To put it bluntly, they're more
interested in something else.
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00:04:58,181 --> 00:04:59,546
Oh, you mean sex?
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00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:04,419
N-n-no... no... no...
109
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:06,422
Yes.
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00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:18,196
I'm here for my interview,
Mr. Larsen.
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00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,068
I am also here
for her interview.
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00:05:21,104 --> 00:05:23,869
Luanne,
let's go ballooning.
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00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:28,401
Peggy, why don't you read
my autobiography?
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00:05:35,051 --> 00:05:38,043
Oh, it's all so beautiful.
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00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,284
You can see for miles.
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00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,688
Yeah, 3.7 miles.
117
00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:43,090
'You can see up
to around eight miles
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00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:44,958
if you try this monocular.
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00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:46,485
It's Austrian.
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00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,965
They make the best monocular.
121
00:05:48,999 --> 00:05:49,966
Something wrong?
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00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:50,967
Well... it's just that...
123
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:56,872
um, well... you know so much
and I know so little.
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00:05:56,907 --> 00:06:00,207
I hope that doesn't
make you think I'm stupid.
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00:06:00,243 --> 00:06:01,733
'You are not stupid.
126
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:02,745
You're ignorant.
127
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,248
What? No, you can't tell...
128
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,750
It's a compliment.
129
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,751
That just means you
haven't had the chance
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00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:09,752
to learn all
the wrong things.
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00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,016
Oh...
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00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:14,149
No one's ever told me
that before.
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00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:17,319
Well, maybe that's because
no one has ever realized
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00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,260
how ignorant you truly are.
135
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,698
PEGGY:
Oh, my Lord!
136
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:26,134
What are you doing?!
137
00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:33,007
That is not a proper way
to interview!
138
00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:37,276
Ah... Who's house are we
going to T.P.-ing this year?
139
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,214
Probably
mine again.
140
00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:42,685
So, how'd it go?
141
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:46,155
Mr. Trip Larsen
is the most wonderful man
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00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:47,918
in the whole world!
143
00:06:47,958 --> 00:06:51,087
Well, you gave you a job, huh?
144
00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:52,094
What position?
145
00:06:52,128 --> 00:06:53,755
Oh, I'm his girlfriend!
146
00:06:53,797 --> 00:06:56,266
HANK: Well, I knew
this guy was no good
147
00:06:56,299 --> 00:06:57,767
but braiding your hair?
148
00:06:57,801 --> 00:07:01,499
From the back, your head
looks like a horse's ass.
149
00:07:01,538 --> 00:07:04,337
Well, Trip likes my hair
in braids.
150
00:07:04,374 --> 00:07:06,342
He says they make me look smart.
151
00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:09,243
Luanne, honey, it's not that we
don't like your hair in braids
152
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:10,246
which we don't
153
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,679
it's that we don't like Trip.
154
00:07:11,715 --> 00:07:13,683
He's old enough
to be your father
155
00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:15,685
and he's treating you
like a child.
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00:07:15,719 --> 00:07:17,118
Stop worrying,
Aunt Peggy.
157
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:21,317
And I'm going to eat my
salad after my steak.
158
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,020
Trip says that's
the French way.
159
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:27,155
So I can have
my dessert first
160
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,494
then my steak.
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00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:32,092
And then, if I
have room, my salad.
162
00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:33,603
Salad after steak?
163
00:07:33,637 --> 00:07:35,867
I hate to say this
twice in one meal
164
00:07:35,905 --> 00:07:40,672
but, "horse's ass."
165
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:45,170
( Grunts)
166
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:48,150
( Chuckles )
167
00:07:48,184 --> 00:07:49,777
Hello.
168
00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:50,786
We were
in the neighborhood
169
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,289
and thought you might like
some of my Brown Betty.
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00:07:53,323 --> 00:07:55,451
We can also discuss
my Luanne.
171
00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:56,459
Hey, that's a good idea.
172
00:07:56,493 --> 00:07:57,460
Sounds fun.
173
00:07:57,494 --> 00:07:59,462
How would you like to watch
some football bloopers
174
00:07:59,496 --> 00:08:00,463
while I finish my set?
175
00:08:00,497 --> 00:08:02,932
'You know, they send us
advertisers some stuff that...
176
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,934
well, you'll see it
nowhere else.
177
00:08:04,968 --> 00:08:06,436
I could take a look.
178
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,437
Hank, remember
what we're here for.
179
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,269
But this is
private bloopers.
180
00:08:10,306 --> 00:08:11,967
Hey, do you have
the snowman
181
00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:14,306
who caught fire at
the Viking's game?
182
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:15,311
Do I...
183
00:08:15,345 --> 00:08:17,837
I've got three different snowmen
catching fire.
184
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,883
There he goes.
185
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,046
How's it going?
186
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,056
Did Blanca set you up all right?
187
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,058
I would like
to talk about Luanne
188
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,060
before we have to make
a blooper reel out of her life.
189
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:34,394
Well, we just want
to make sure
190
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,594
Luanne isn't getting
into any trouble.
191
00:08:37,634 --> 00:08:39,625
She is our only niece.
192
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:42,900
Hank, Luanne is lucky
to have somebody like you
193
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,874
looking out for her.
194
00:08:45,909 --> 00:08:47,809
Will you look at that.
195
00:08:47,844 --> 00:08:50,506
LARSEN:
Yeah, that's the J-5.
196
00:08:50,547 --> 00:08:52,515
It's a little project
I've been working on
197
00:08:52,549 --> 00:08:53,516
for quite some time now.
198
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:56,349
In terms of
time-to-processing weight
199
00:08:56,386 --> 00:08:57,751
meat yield, we an ability
200
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,552
she's pretty much
the perfect pig.
201
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:04,026
Mmm, looks like you
could eat it with a spoon.
202
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:06,028
Just give me five years
and you will.
203
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:09,032
HANK:
Oh, just like a baby.
204
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:11,090
Look at her, Peggy.
205
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:15,332
Remind you of someone
when he was little?
206
00:09:15,371 --> 00:09:17,339
Hank, how would you
like to ride
207
00:09:17,373 --> 00:09:18,841
in a hot air balloon?
208
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:19,842
Hey, I don't have
to tell you
209
00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:21,139
it's powered by propane.
210
00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:23,407
Well, that's one
of the eight uses of propane
211
00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:25,710
I haven't experienced
first hand.
212
00:09:25,749 --> 00:09:27,342
Oh, dear Lord.
213
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:30,717
Peggy, I feel like
Neil Armstrong up here!
214
00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:34,884
I can see everybody's gutters,
and they look great!
215
00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:37,655
Mrs. Hill, I'm a guy
who makes his own rules.
216
00:09:37,694 --> 00:09:39,389
You play by them--
217
00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:40,897
Everybody wins.
218
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,955
Try to call your own game...
219
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,467
not so terrific.
220
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,593
( Grunts)
221
00:09:45,635 --> 00:09:47,364
Whoa!
222
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:49,235
Well, let me tell you something
223
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:52,071
you might be rich,
but all the money in the world
224
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:54,975
cannot buy you
the most precious gift of all--
225
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,501
My respect.
226
00:09:56,546 --> 00:09:59,277
PEGGY: The man willfully
endangered your life
227
00:09:59,315 --> 00:10:00,783
just to make
a point, Hank.
228
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,478
Try to see it
from his point of view.
229
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,715
He was trying to control
the balloon
230
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,188
and you kept talking to him.
231
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:07,383
I was right there.
232
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:09,391
He was pulling and yanking
that cord
233
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:11,154
and trying to jerk you
out of there
234
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,595
with every last fiber
of his being, and then some.
235
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:18,124
Aunt Peggy, Trip believes that
no one ever solved anything
236
00:10:18,168 --> 00:10:19,966
with a run-on sentence.
237
00:10:20,003 --> 00:10:22,404
What?
How dare you!
238
00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:24,736
'You do not come into my house
and correct my grammar
239
00:10:24,774 --> 00:10:29,268
unless your name happens
to be Strunk or White.
240
00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:29,938
Is it?
241
00:10:29,979 --> 00:10:31,174
I'm just trying
to help you
242
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:37,745
improve yourself,
Aunt Peggy.
243
00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:42,691
( Screams )
244
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,251
Mmm, this'll cook
up nice, Hank.
245
00:10:45,295 --> 00:10:46,763
How much did it
cost you, huh?
246
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,821
A hundred bucks?
247
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,856
Hank, the man is crazy.
248
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,267
That headless pig
is a threat.
249
00:10:53,303 --> 00:10:55,431
No, it's a gift
250
00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:58,566
from Trip Larsen,
and it's to you.
251
00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:01,543
I guess somebody
owes Trip an apology.
252
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,707
There is a large,
dead animal on my lawn!
253
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,444
Look, let's be reasonable
about this.
254
00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:10,646
I work in propane,
so I give away propane.
255
00:11:10,687 --> 00:11:13,281
Trip Larsen
works with pork
256
00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:15,291
so that's why he gave us
this fella here.
257
00:11:15,325 --> 00:11:16,588
Oh!
258
00:11:16,626 --> 00:11:17,957
(yells)
259
00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,326
No! you're bruising
the rinds!
260
00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:23,492
PEGGY:
That's it!
261
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:26,798
Luanne, I have decided
that your boyfriend is crazy.
262
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:28,804
Now, do you want
to break up with him
263
00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:29,805
or should |7
264
00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:30,806
Now, just stop it!
265
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:31,807
Stop telling me what to do!
266
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:35,175
I am a proud, ignorant woman
267
00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:37,680
and no one
is going to change that!
268
00:11:37,714 --> 00:11:40,979
Now that is the stupidest thing
I ever heard anyone say.
269
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:48,820
(crying)
270
00:11:48,858 --> 00:11:52,658
'You wiped your
eyes on my tie.
271
00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:53,662
That's okay.
272
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,221
It's an
amazing fabric.
273
00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:56,255
Thanks, Trip.
274
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,789
I feel better.
275
00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:00,895
I'm going to go home now
276
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:06,603
and think of something mean
to do to Aunt Peggy, okay?
277
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,839
Luanne, you are home.
278
00:12:08,878 --> 00:12:10,846
I took the liberty of having
your belongings
279
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:11,847
meat-trucked out here.
280
00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:14,373
Forgive me if they
smell delicious.
281
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:31,734
Luanne, dear, this
will be your room.
282
00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:38,196
It's so beautiful.
283
00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:42,144
Oh, I don't see
any of my clothes.
284
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,579
That's because
I had them shredded.
285
00:12:44,614 --> 00:12:45,581
Plant mulch.
286
00:12:45,615 --> 00:12:46,582
Gardening tip:
287
00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:48,778
synthetics make
wonderful ground cover.
288
00:12:48,818 --> 00:12:55,781
But... but, see, I need stuff
to wear to dinner.
289
00:12:55,825 --> 00:12:58,089
Not a problem.
290
00:12:58,127 --> 00:13:03,964
But they're all the same.
291
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,331
Nothing is
exactly the same.
292
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,497
Everything has a small
flaw or imperfection.
293
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:14,341
It drives me mad.
294
00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:20,343
( Scraping )
295
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,817
Trip?
296
00:13:21,851 --> 00:13:26,914
Trip, is... is that you?
297
00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:28,082
( Scraping )
298
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:31,059
Trip, are you there?
299
00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:38,467
( Scraping )
300
00:13:38,501 --> 00:13:41,095
( Pained moaning )
301
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:43,333
( Screams )
302
00:13:43,373 --> 00:13:44,772
( Grunting )
303
00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:45,899
( Oinking )
304
00:13:45,942 --> 00:13:46,966
Back!
(crying )
305
00:13:47,010 --> 00:13:47,875
Back off, girl.
306
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,139
Don't be messing
with Papa's lady
307
00:13:49,178 --> 00:13:50,475
now, you hear?
308
00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:51,981
Are you all right,
dearest?
309
00:13:52,015 --> 00:13:53,710
Why is there
a pig in the house?
310
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,014
Oh, don't tell me
you're jealous.
311
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,383
I might have grown up poor
312
00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:01,015
but I never knew anyone
who kept a pig in the house.
313
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,958
Well, that's because
they weren't equipped for it.
314
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:05,961
The floor in there
is Brazilian rosewood--
315
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,362
Super hard, super
high-quality stuff.
316
00:14:08,398 --> 00:14:09,559
And I had it finished
317
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,567
with four coats
of polyurethane�
318
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,568
Not that it needs it.
319
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,593
The J-5's hooves are
soft as bedroom slippers.
320
00:14:14,637 --> 00:14:16,127
Schweigen!
( oinking )
321
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,072
Go back to bed,
honey.
322
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,233
I'll have Blanca
bring you up
323
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,267
a warm glass
of milk, okay? Okay.
324
00:14:22,311 --> 00:14:30,311
Finish it all.
325
00:14:32,889 --> 00:14:36,484
( Screaming )
326
00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:39,052
Oh, good. You're up.
327
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,927
My... my head is bleeding.
328
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,727
Your head hasn't been harmed.
329
00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:44,255
It's been improved.
330
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,631
I took the liberty of dying it
331
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:47,693
while you were asleep
these last 14 hours.
332
00:14:47,737 --> 00:14:49,205
But... well, why?
333
00:14:49,238 --> 00:14:51,070
I don't
want red hair.
334
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,836
You don't like it? Okay.
335
00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:55,173
Well,
we can always shave it off
336
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:56,679
and wait for it to regrow.
337
00:14:56,712 --> 00:14:57,543
No!
338
00:14:57,580 --> 00:15:00,880
Good. Then it's settled.
339
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:09,753
Blanca, um... I'm going
all the way downstairs
340
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:15,993
to practice my harp
like Mr. Larsen wanted me to.
341
00:15:29,979 --> 00:15:31,913
(gasps )
342
00:15:31,948 --> 00:15:33,109
It's me.
343
00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:35,274
Except for the teeth.
344
00:15:35,318 --> 00:15:36,376
But that can be taken care of.
345
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,682
Are you trying
346
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,518
to turn me into her?
347
00:15:39,555 --> 00:15:42,217
This is the Larsen
Pork Products Girl
348
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:45,159
my grandfather
created 50 years ago.
349
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,323
Her picture graced the walls
in my nursery.
350
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,389
Mother never really
paid me much attention
351
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:52,959
but she was always there.
352
00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:54,970
I'm very sorry about your mother
353
00:15:55,004 --> 00:15:56,597
and now I'm going home.
354
00:15:56,639 --> 00:15:57,731
Please don't go.
355
00:15:57,773 --> 00:16:00,470
I spent so many years
trying to find you.
356
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,477
Look at her.
357
00:16:01,511 --> 00:16:04,242
The Larsen
Pork Products Woman
358
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,248
is as comfortable
dining with kings
359
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:07,249
as she is slaughtering pigs.
360
00:16:07,283 --> 00:16:11,618
I never thought I'd meet someone
as perfect as the woman
361
00:16:11,654 --> 00:16:12,917
in that picture.
362
00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:15,083
And then I saw you.
363
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,819
At the Learning Annex.
364
00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:17,826
I guess.
365
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:19,453
I'm just so alone here.
366
00:16:19,495 --> 00:16:21,896
I get scared.
367
00:16:21,931 --> 00:16:23,558
I understand.
368
00:16:23,599 --> 00:16:25,693
And I mean
to fix all that
369
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,203
with a big
Halloween party
370
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,204
to show the world
just how happy we are.
371
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,967
Can I dress up
as a pirate?
372
00:16:31,007 --> 00:16:31,974
A woman as a pirate?
373
00:16:32,008 --> 00:16:33,976
Well, that's just crazy.
374
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,739
I know just
what you'll wear.
375
00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:37,746
This.
376
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:42,616
Hey, it's an invitation.
377
00:16:42,652 --> 00:16:44,086
"Larsen Pork Products
378
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,645
"and the Dance Theater
of Arlen
379
00:16:45,688 --> 00:16:49,283
invite you
to a Halloween Gala."
380
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:50,656
Sounds like a blast.
381
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:53,162
Well, I know Luanne
doesn't want to see me
382
00:16:53,196 --> 00:16:55,358
but I am
a Silver Slipper donor
383
00:16:55,398 --> 00:16:56,627
to the Dance Theater of Arlen
384
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:58,634
and those people
still owe me an umbrella.
385
00:16:58,668 --> 00:17:04,630
Oh, great. It's Luanne.
386
00:17:07,143 --> 00:17:09,510
I'll bet she can tell
us where the bathroom is.
387
00:17:09,545 --> 00:17:12,207
Is that all you care about--
the bathroom?
388
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,477
What about Luanne?
389
00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:15,041
I can't enjoy a party
390
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:17,052
until I know
where the bathroom is.
391
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:19,054
You knew that
when you married me.
392
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:21,853
Hi, Aunt Peggy.
393
00:17:21,891 --> 00:17:23,586
Uncle Hank.
394
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,560
I'm really glad you could come.
395
00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:26,653
You look nice, Luanne.
396
00:17:26,696 --> 00:17:28,926
I know.
Trip told me.
397
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,627
I'm the Larsen
Pork Products Girl.
398
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:32,964
Oh, you see, Peggy?
399
00:17:33,002 --> 00:17:35,403
I could have come
as a Strickland Propane guy
400
00:17:35,438 --> 00:17:38,066
instead of renting
this getup.
401
00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:40,041
Mister is ready
for you now.
402
00:17:40,076 --> 00:17:47,176
Oh. This is Blanca.
403
00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:53,178
She's my best
friend here.
404
00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:57,854
Trip?
405
00:17:57,893 --> 00:17:59,657
Trip?
406
00:17:59,695 --> 00:18:04,997
I'm here, dearest.
407
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:09,028
Luanne, you've never
looked more beautiful.
408
00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:10,800
And I've never
felt more alive.
409
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,808
I never thought
this day would come
410
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:13,809
when I would
have everything
411
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:17,211
I've ever wanted
within my grasp.
412
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:18,372
(gasps )
413
00:18:18,414 --> 00:18:21,315
Is that an
engagement ring?
414
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,081
Wait, Luanne.
I want everything to be perfect.
415
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,181
Luanne, will you
do me the great honor
416
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:28,884
of marrying... him.
417
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:31,791
Him?
418
00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:34,455
Javier, the time has come.
419
00:18:34,497 --> 00:18:37,523
That's the man in the ad!
420
00:18:37,566 --> 00:18:39,762
Life is a series of compromises.
421
00:18:39,802 --> 00:18:42,601
Trip, I'm kind of confused.
422
00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:45,266
What is happening here?
423
00:18:45,308 --> 00:18:46,275
Don't you see?
424
00:18:46,309 --> 00:18:47,276
We can have it all.
425
00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:49,278
We can be the family
in the picture.
426
00:18:49,312 --> 00:18:55,046
You, him and me.
427
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:57,451
( Oinking )
428
00:18:57,486 --> 00:19:01,081
What? What?
429
00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:04,684
( Snorting )
430
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,094
( Screaming )
431
00:19:07,129 --> 00:19:09,496
Luanne, wait!
432
00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:10,931
Luanne!
433
00:19:10,966 --> 00:19:11,933
Where did Luanne go?
434
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,095
That's for me to know
and you to find out.
435
00:19:14,136 --> 00:19:15,604
And me
to find out, too
436
00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:19,233
because I don't know.
437
00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:22,336
Luanne!
438
00:19:44,066 --> 00:19:46,933
( Screaming )
439
00:19:46,969 --> 00:19:47,959
Luanne, wait.
440
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:49,493
I can explain everything.
441
00:19:49,538 --> 00:19:51,870
No! You're sick.
442
00:19:51,907 --> 00:19:53,807
I'm calling the police.
443
00:19:53,843 --> 00:20:00,840
Luanne,
you're not thinking clearly.
444
00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:03,675
I'm here, Luanne!
445
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:07,917
I'll take care of everything.
446
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:14,329
( Screaming )
447
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:18,391
Oops.
448
00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:21,692
This is perfect!
449
00:20:21,737 --> 00:20:23,705
Now we can become
Larsen Pork Products
450
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:26,367
together.
451
00:20:26,409 --> 00:20:28,275
( Screaming )
452
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,402
Luanne, trust me.
453
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,935
This is for the best.
454
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,573
We agreed that I
would do the thinking
455
00:20:32,615 --> 00:20:33,878
for both of us.
456
00:20:33,916 --> 00:20:39,514
I never agreed to be
a Larsen Pork product.
457
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:40,818
Luanne, I thought
458
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,551
you loved me!
459
00:20:42,591 --> 00:20:48,291
No. Trip!
460
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:53,568
TRIP:
Pull the feft lever! Now!
461
00:20:53,602 --> 00:20:55,593
Let me do it.
462
00:20:55,638 --> 00:20:59,541
( Trip laughing maniacally )
463
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:01,407
( Faughing )
464
00:21:01,444 --> 00:21:05,347
Mama, Papa, I'm coming home.
465
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:12,382
Oh, my God.
466
00:21:12,421 --> 00:21:14,753
I can suddenly think clearly.
467
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,952
The voices have left my head.
468
00:21:16,992 --> 00:21:20,929
What am I doing
in a pig costume?
469
00:21:20,963 --> 00:21:21,930
Uh-oh.
470
00:21:21,964 --> 00:21:26,925
( Screaming )
471
00:21:26,969 --> 00:21:27,959
Well...
472
00:21:28,003 --> 00:21:29,630
at least Trip seemed happy.
473
00:21:29,672 --> 00:21:32,869
And now he's in a better place.
474
00:21:32,908 --> 00:21:34,876
Honey, Trip had
a mental breakdown
475
00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:36,309
and is how a sausage.
476
00:21:36,345 --> 00:21:38,575
That's not
a better place.
477
00:21:38,614 --> 00:21:40,742
But you handled the
situation very well.
478
00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:42,774
I did, didn't 17
479
00:21:42,818 --> 00:21:43,808
'You saved yourself
480
00:21:43,853 --> 00:21:45,252
by thinking
for yourself.
481
00:21:45,287 --> 00:21:47,449
I did, didn't 17
482
00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:50,221
You are your own woman.
483
00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:52,193
I am. I am!
484
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:57,098
So, really,
it's a happy ending.
485
00:21:57,132 --> 00:21:58,099
Happy enough.
486
00:21:58,133 --> 00:22:00,101
[Captioned by The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
487
00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:04,701
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