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1
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,005
Hmmm.
2
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,039
-No.
-Oh, shoot.
3
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,632
I just want this renewal of vows
to be perfect.
4
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:44,710
[Sighs]
5
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,642
Twenty years with Dale.
6
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:49,840
And one year since you stopped
cheating on him with John Redcorn.
7
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:52,281
I can still wear white, can't l?
8
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,352
Mmm.... Uh-uh.
9
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,714
But, sug', if I don't wear white,
Dale might get suspicious.
10
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,121
And right now,
the only ones who know about the affair...
11
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,591
are me, John Redcorn, and God.
12
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:06,527
And you, and Hank,
and Bill, and Boomhauer...
13
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:10,626
and possibly Bobby,
and, of course, John Redcorn's sister.
14
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,934
-She's got a mouth on her.
-Well, it's your funeral.
15
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,008
Just kidding.
16
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:19,408
It's your wedding,
and it will be a dream come true.
17
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,807
Hey, bunnykins, how's my fiancée?
18
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,215
I'm just running our guest list over
to Peggy.
19
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,014
She is my re-maid of honor and all...
20
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,181
and she's been dying to use
her calligraphy kit.
21
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,225
Odd, vexing.
22
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,795
My father's name is on the list.
23
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:38,727
Make sure his full name reads:
24
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:43,394
""Bug Gribble, womanizing jerk
who is not invited to my re-wedding...
25
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,834
""because I hate him.""
26
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:48,465
Come on, sug',
sometimes good people do bad things...
27
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,669
some of them for years and years.
Can't you forgive?
28
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,745
[Stuttering]
29
00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:57,177
Need I remind you of what my father did
on our wedding day?
30
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,375
Need l?
31
00:01:58,485 --> 00:01:59,452
[Rock music playing]
32
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:03,716
It was the most lavish potluck weddiig
the ieighborhood had ever seei,
33
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:04,915
Thanks for coming.
34
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:08,084
I'll let you all know
how the deflowering went.
35
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:12,062
Full oflove ii my heart,
aid weddiig beer ii my bladder,,,
36
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:16,795
I weit iiside to use the restroom
where I was coifroited by a horrible sight,
37
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:18,204
[Retching]
38
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,601
-Sorry.
-Rock 'n' roll, man.
39
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,370
Yeah, rock 'n'....
40
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,572
So, iaturally,
I headed for the kitchei siik,,,
41
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,148
aid that's where I saw it,
42
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,375
Dad?
43
00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:34,977
Bug.
44
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,055
[Sobbing]
45
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,685
Damn you, Daddy.
46
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:42,928
[Sobbing]
47
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,159
I loved my dad like a father...
48
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,758
and he betrayed me like a betrayer.
49
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,063
Please, Dale.
50
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,538
I want this re-wedding
to be a fresh start for all of us.
51
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:58,441
If I can forgive him for tongue-stabbing me
on my holy day, why can't you?
52
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:02,481
He probably misses you, Dale.
I know I miss my dad.
53
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:07,115
I can't tell you how many nights
he locked me in that rabbit hutch.
54
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:10,445
I deserved it, though. I just couldn't listen.
55
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,184
My dad doesn't care about me.
56
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,557
He's the big rodeo star,
going town to town...
57
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,358
delighting children and defiling women.
58
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,095
And right in the middle
of the re-wedding...
59
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,764
I pop out of the cake with two sparklers.
60
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:31,070
I like it. I like it a lot,
except for the part about you.
61
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:34,340
But the cake part,
now, that is an excellent idea.
62
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,006
Hey, sug's.
63
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:39,107
Imagine this. A re-wedding cake.
64
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,520
Now, just let that sink in.
65
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,855
I have a favor to ask.
66
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,619
Would you bring this invite to Dale's dad?
67
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,194
-Nancy--
-Hank, it's been 20 years.
68
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:52,526
Maybe Bug has changed. I've changed.
69
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,193
If he has, invite him
so he can give Dale away again.
70
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,669
If he hasn't, tell him I look great
and to go to hell.
71
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:03,139
I don't know. Bug's a cowboy.
How do you find a cowboy?
72
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,370
In his last postcard, he said his rodeo...
73
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,537
was gonna be in Coburn,
through the end of the month.
74
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:11,378
-Pretty please.
-Well, I guess I am the best man.
75
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:15,682
And with the joy of responsibility
comes the burden of obligation.
76
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,393
I wonder why so many cowboys
have mustaches.
77
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,562
Oh, my God, look.
78
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:34,773
The beer tent.
79
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,941
[YMCA by the Village People playing
on sound system]
80
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,038
I kind of like this song.
81
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,814
You know, the YMCA has terrific facilities.
82
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:50,522
Oooh.
83
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:51,851
Rainbows.
84
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:02,296
Where are all the ladies?
85
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,929
Well, they're probably crowding around
Dale's dad's trailer.
86
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,770
I'll bet half of these poor bastards
are losing their gals right now.
87
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:13,107
ANNOUNCER: [On loudspeaker] Aid iext
up ii the drag race it's Buttercup McGee,,,
88
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:16,670
ii a fetchiig Aii Taylor suidress,,,
89
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:18,950
aid he's out,
90
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:23,244
Hey, that guy is wearing a dress.
91
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:27,459
Yeah, he must have lost
some kind of crazy cowboy bet.
92
00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,458
Boy, does he feel silly.
93
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:32,326
Aid Buttercup goes dowi,
94
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:35,890
But doi 't go aiywhere, rodeo fais,
Up iext, Bug Gribble,,,
95
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,971
takes oi the meaiest goat ii Texas,
96
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,370
Aid the fui is just begiiiiig here,,,
97
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,637
at the gay rodeo!
98
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,538
Did he just say, ""The gay rodeo""?
99
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:04,229
Shut up, Bill. Don't laugh.
They can hear you.
100
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:08,861
-Gay rodeo.
-Yeah, dang old blazing saddles, man.
101
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:13,302
Come on, guys. Keep it together.
You're acting like a bunch of 12-year-olds.
102
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:17,206
This is a real sporting event.
I saw it on ESPN3.
103
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,077
That's where they parked
poor Fran Tarkenton.
104
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:23,376
I don't get it.
Why would Bug be in a gay rodeo?
105
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:24,609
Well, the guy's 60.
106
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,878
Maybe he couldn't make it
on the regular circuit.
107
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:30,649
It's like those guys who have to play
European basketball...
108
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,224
or Canadian football.
109
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,055
Aid iow, please direct your eyes,,,
110
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,493
to the maii areia
for the eveit of the day,,,
111
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,430
Bug Gribble aid Madeleiie the goat,
112
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,916
What the hell is Bug doing to that goat?
113
00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,042
Is he trying to put...
114
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,915
Iadies' undergarments on that animal?
115
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:05,824
[Buzzer sounding]
116
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,757
Thank you, girls. I love you all!
117
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,730
Oh, my God.
118
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,525
Dale's dad is gay.
119
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,240
Boomhauer, you wanna go get
some cotton candy?
120
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:32,181
That would make me happy,
or should I say gay?
121
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,549
Good one, man.
122
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,123
All right, they're gay. Ha-ha-ha.
123
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:41,827
Now, here's trailer number seven.
We gotta go talk to Bug.
124
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,520
No, you go ahead, Hank.
125
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,087
Boomhauer and I are gonna go out
in the parking lot and make out.
126
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,760
We're both men. We're both men.
127
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:52,997
Dauterive, man. You're on a roll, man.
128
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:54,999
Jerks.
129
00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,742
No autographs!
Unless I'm signing your chest.
130
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:06,842
-Hello, Mr. Gribble.
-Little Hanky Hill.
131
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,012
Come in, come in, come in. Eitrez-vous,
132
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,713
FYl, it's a mess.
133
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,352
So, what are you doing here?
134
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:16,392
Are you gay?
135
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,631
What? No. I sell propane.
136
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:20,890
Oh, my Lord!
137
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,831
Something has happened to Dale,
hasn't it?
138
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:25,267
He didn't return-to-sender
my last postcard.
139
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:26,861
No, no. Everything's fine.
140
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,305
Dale and Nancy are renewing
their wedding vows...
141
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:31,399
and she wanted me to invite you...
142
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,311
as kind of a surprise for Dale.
143
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,942
Oh. Oh, God. The wedding.
144
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,545
That was not this cowpoke's finest hour.
145
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,150
Yeah, you know,
my friends are waiting for me....
146
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:49,319
Honey, wait.
I wanna tell you what really happened.
147
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,191
The unabashed truth.
148
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,627
It was 20 years ago.
149
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:57,169
I was not yet being honest with myself,
let alone others.
150
00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,097
Aid as I was explaiiiig this,,,
151
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:02,402
to the most beautiful Filipiio caterer,,,
152
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,467
he leaied ii close,
153
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,272
DALE: Rock 'n' roll, man.
154
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,607
I saw Dale comiig,
155
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,480
I paiicked,,,
156
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,281
aid grabbed the iearest thiig ii a dress,
157
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,444
Dad?
158
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:21,183
Every day I think about the mess
I've made of things and I'm tortured, Hank.
159
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:25,162
But maybe now I've got another chance
to get back in my son's life.
160
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:26,322
Yeah.
161
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,999
The invitation didn't say anything
about formal attire...
162
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:33,162
but I'm guessing you might want to...
163
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,173
-you know, tone it down a bit.
-Don't worry.
164
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,369
I'm not gonna wear the spangles
and rhinestones when I see Dale.
165
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,173
Those are my stage clothes.
166
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,977
The gay rodeo is theater, honey.
It's just camp.
167
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,111
You know, kitschy fun.
168
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,246
So, I'll see you later.
Have fun at your camp.
169
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,188
Who wants paella?
170
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:56,090
Gary and Mike made it, and it's decadent.
171
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,622
Oh, company.
172
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:03,395
-And who are you?
-Juan Pedro, this is Hank Hill.
173
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:06,797
He's a friend of a friend.
174
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:10,239
-I'm a friend of his son.
-You have a son?
175
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,436
Bug, how can you have a son?
176
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:17,107
I asked you a question.
How can you have a son?
177
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,883
Well, you see, when a man and a woman
care for each other...
178
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,545
-what happens--
-I was married!
179
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,623
Married? You lying snake.
180
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:29,354
I was confused,
and it was a very painful time for me.
181
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,761
And I want to share your pain,
but you hide from me.
182
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,023
I'm sorry.
183
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,329
Juan Pedro, please.
184
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:39,165
Please, Juan Pedro.
185
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,568
Gentlemen.
186
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,634
By the way, pumpkin...
187
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,872
the federal government
may use this wedding...
188
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,073
as an opportunity
to make its move on me...
189
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:53,845
so some of the champagne bottles
contain gasoline and rags.
190
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,679
Or was it the wine bottles?
191
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,086
[Doorbell rings]
192
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,359
Howdy, Dale.
193
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,653
-Son.
-You.
194
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:09,559
I've been waiting 20 years
for this moment.
195
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:15,633
Prepare to be destroyed
by the deadliest of all martial arts...
196
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,374
monkey style.
197
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,943
[Making monkey noises]
198
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,773
Pressure point, gouge the eyes,
grab the tongue, Achilles tendon.
199
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,211
I deserve that.
200
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:30,311
And any other kind of monkey mischief
you can throw at me.
201
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:34,189
-I hate myself for what I did to you.
-I hate you more.
202
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:37,524
-Trust me, I'm an expert hater.
-I don't blame you.
203
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:42,431
Planting one on Nancy was the worst,
most disgusting thing I've ever done.
204
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:46,104
And I'm here to say I want my boy back.
205
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,172
[Sobbing]
206
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,434
My God, you're pathetic.
207
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:53,511
And to think I once called you...
208
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,510
-[voice breaking] Daddy.
-Son?
209
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,242
Daddy!
210
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:06,490
-Let it out, child.
-I am. I'm crying.
211
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:14,490
If you'd have told me last week
I'd be lying in bed...
212
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,501
pasting my father's head
back onto family photos...
213
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:21,164
I'd have called you nuts. But here we are.
214
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,138
I'm glad you're glad he's back, sug'...
215
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,904
but have you noticed anything different
about your dad?
216
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,172
Doesn't he seem a little fancier?
217
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,738
The only thing that's different is he's here,
and I love him.
218
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:36,419
Yep, as long as he keeps his hands
off your hot body...
219
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:37,887
we're cool.
220
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:42,360
Pssst!
221
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:46,860
Guys, do you want to see the most
heartwarming sight you've ever seen?
222
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,825
Look, my dad's teaching Joseph
an old cowboy trick.
223
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,268
Remember, keep your forearms angled...
224
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,806
and don't let the panties
slip over your elbows.
225
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,604
Don't worry, Grandpa.
That goat's getting pantied.
226
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,442
Yeah, I bet some babe at the rodeo
threw those panties at my dad...
227
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,539
and he kept them as a souvenir.
228
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:05,617
[Goat braying]
229
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,344
-Yep.
-Yep.
230
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,752
Mmm-hmm.
231
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,381
Yep.
232
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,657
Oh, my turn?
233
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,019
Yep.
234
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,699
Bug Gribble's taxi service.
235
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,996
Oh, God. I completely forgot.
236
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,733
Dale, this is Juan Pedro, my special friend.
237
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,800
Nice to meet you.
238
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:35,043
Any special friend of my dad's
is a special friend of mine.
239
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,981
These are my special friends,
Hank, Bill, and Boomhauer.
240
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,981
Hey, man.
241
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,917
Son, I'm so sorry.
242
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,817
Juan Pedro and I have plans tonight.
243
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,659
But, Dad, you were supposed
to go to the gun club...
244
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,858
to show my buddies your pistol twirling.
245
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:58,095
But we were supposed to play
Taboo with Gary and Mike tonight.
246
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:02,140
Oh, I'm in quite the pickle.
What to do? What to do?
247
00:14:02,274 --> 00:14:05,971
Look, Juan Pedro, why don't you come
to the gun club with us tonight...
248
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:09,912
then tomorrow we can all go
to Gary and Mike's and play Taboo.
249
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,644
Well, okay.
We can do Gary and Mike anytime.
250
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,021
-And wait till you try my margaritas.
-Great.
251
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:18,612
Hank likes margaritas.
252
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:21,522
Hey, Hank, you coming over
to Gary and Mike's tomorrow...
253
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,595
for margaritas and Taboo?
254
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,288
Nope.
255
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,661
Oh, I know you. Hello, Hank.
256
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,898
Hello, Juan Pedro.
257
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:36,234
I never knew you could buy ties
that weren't pre-tied.
258
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,776
Oh, sweetie, I have so much to teach you.
259
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,741
Speaking of which, Dad...
260
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,781
I'm a little nervous
about my re-wedding night.
261
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:47,478
You've satisfied thousands of women.
You got any pointers?
262
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:51,315
Check it out, Dad. I'm John Redcorn.
263
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:56,387
I don't see it.
I'll show you how to do John Redcorn.
264
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:57,792
Excuse us.
265
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,532
Joseph is such a beautiful boy.
266
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:08,037
Is he adopted?
267
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:10,869
No, not exactly. He's....
268
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:15,439
Well, he's.... It's a long story.
269
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,515
-Nancy.
-I know, I know.
270
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:23,520
I must re-channel the energy
of your wife's ancestors' spirit winds.
271
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,120
-Have you told Dale, yet?
-I've thought about it.
272
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,993
But telling your husband
you cheated on him...
273
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,430
is such an unpleasant conversation.
274
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:39,061
I think the party'll be much more fun
if you and I just stay in the closet.
275
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:41,605
I'm not gonna tell you
how to live your life...
276
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,471
-but I can't do that anymore.
-No.
277
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:48,273
Dale needs to know his daddy
is queerer than a box of birds.
278
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:50,846
Get away from my wife...
279
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,249
or next time
I'll aim for the mannequin and hit you.
280
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:58,821
Dale, there's something
I need to get off my chest.
281
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:01,392
If we're gonna have
a real relationship again...
282
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,656
we should be 100%% Oprah honest
with each other.
283
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,822
Are you in love with Nancy?
284
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,295
I'm not the man you think I am.
285
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:13,599
My rodeo is a gay rodeo.
286
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:18,268
Why would a confirmed bachelor
such as yourself work at a gay rodeo?
287
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:21,175
Honey, even when I was married
to your mother...
288
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,147
I was leading a secret life, don't you see?
289
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:27,846
Juan Pedro is not just my special friend...
290
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:30,217
-he's my partner.
-Partner?
291
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:33,416
Why do you need a partner
to work the gay rodeo?
292
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:36,221
Wait a minute. You're....
293
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:40,025
Oh, my God! I can't believe this.
My own father.
294
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,101
Dale, forget I said anything.
We were having so much fun.
295
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:45,227
Let's go back to being a family again.
296
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,204
Too late.
You're re-uninvited to my re-wedding.
297
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,207
-Now, get out!
-Dale, please.
298
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,743
Get out. I can never trust you again.
299
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,643
Get out,
before I have Nancy throw you out.
300
00:16:57,249 --> 00:17:00,275
-Oh, sug'.
-I can't believe it.
301
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:03,514
It was right in front of my face
this whole time.
302
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:07,389
My father is a government agent.
303
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,761
-He told you that?
-He didn't have to.
304
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,731
A secret life,
working undercover with a partner?
305
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:17,165
What other explanation is there?
306
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:22,537
Oh, God.
This is my worst nightmare come true.
307
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,068
Nancy, I don't know what to do.
308
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:27,907
No one's ever deceived me before.
309
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,155
I guess I can fit in one more beer
before the ceremony.
310
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:43,024
Can you believe it?
My own dad is government.
311
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,526
I really thought I knew the man.
312
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:49,760
Now, what illicit activities
could gay cowboys be up to?
313
00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:54,032
Money-laundering,
income-tax evasion, counterfeiting?
314
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:58,200
Are you sure that's what he told you?
That he was a fed?
315
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,744
First, he deep-tongue kisses my wife...
316
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:03,974
then he crawls into bed
with the federal government.
317
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,573
Dale, where are you going?
318
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:09,518
To the gay rodeo
to blow my dad's cover wide open.
319
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,289
Oh, no, no, no, no! I can't find the ring.
320
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:19,194
That was just a piece of tinfoil
we gave you to make you feel important.
321
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,265
Oh, thank God.
322
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:25,961
Hey!
323
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:29,066
Oh, sorry.
324
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:36,408
This was supposed to be my fresh start,
my new beginning.
325
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,574
Why is God punishing me?
326
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,585
Why, sug'?
327
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,313
You know, baby.
Ain't no question about it.
328
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,355
Boomhauer, do something.
329
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,423
Mmm-hmm.
330
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,158
[Clearing throat]
331
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:01,199
Yeah, man. Thank you very much, man.
332
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,069
Dang old pretty much all I got, man.
333
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,633
[Turn the Beat Around by Gloria Estefan
playing on sound system]
334
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,788
Dale, what are you doing here?
335
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,757
I'm here to expose you for what you are.
336
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:23,453
An undercover government agent.
337
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:25,523
A government agent?
338
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,429
Oh, sweetie,
there's been a huge misunderstanding.
339
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:31,503
-I'm gay.
-lf only that were true.
340
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,337
Dale, it is true. I'm gay.
341
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:39,008
-Nice try, J. Edgar.
-Dale, honey.
342
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:42,103
Denial ain't just a club
outside McMaynerbury.
343
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,046
Attention, gay guys.
344
00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:51,714
Bug Gribble is an agent of the FBl.
345
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,986
He's here to monitor and surveil
your every move.
346
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:59,052
If you have something to hide,
I suggest you hide it.
347
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:00,487
What?
348
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:04,800
Listen up, homosexuals
and so-called bisexuals...
349
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,530
you are being....
350
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,276
[Crowd applauding]
351
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:15,409
-Panties?
-Force of habit. Now, zip it, mister.
352
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,039
You are embarrassing me
in front of the whole community.
353
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,117
Oh, my God.
354
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,448
Is what I am hearing
the honest-to-God truth?
355
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,645
Are you a police?
356
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:25,689
Juan Pedro, he doesn't know
what he's talking about.
357
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:26,917
How can I believe you?
358
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:29,858
Until a few days ago,
I did not even know you had a son.
359
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:33,625
He might have more.
He has a bottomless appetite for women.
360
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:37,165
He thinks you love women?
I thought you told him about us.
361
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:40,033
-Are you ashamed of me?
-I did tell him.
362
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:41,628
Baby, please.
363
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:45,039
You know you'll always be
my caballero iumero uio,
364
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,971
-I'm drowning in your lies.
-Then swim to me, Juan Pedro.
365
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,115
Don't give up on us,
the life we built together.
366
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,879
I love you. You know that, don't you?
367
00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:01,624
Yes. And I love you, Bug-a-lug.
368
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:14,833
[Can't Fight This Feeling by REO
Speedwagon playing on stereo]
369
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,703
Rock 'n' roll!
370
00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:17,775
[Retching]
371
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:25,481
-Here's to new beginnings.
-And happy endings.
372
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:29,178
Boy, your can looks so freaking hot
in that dress.
373
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,883
For the next 20 years,
I'm gonna call you Cancy.
374
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,424
Oh, sug'.
375
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,990
So, are you really okay
with your dad being gay?
376
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,034
Why would I have a problem with it?
377
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,435
John Redcorn's gay,
and I've been friends with him for years.
378
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:25,075
DALE: Moikey style!
379
00:22:26,075 --> 00:22:36,075
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