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NANCY: [On TV]The Olympic torch is lit
from oie of the few eitities,,,
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00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:37,902
older thai the games themselves,,,
3
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,096
the sui,
4
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:45,773
The flame iow begiis its loig jouriey
from Atheis, Greece,,,
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00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,337
to its fiial destiiatioi,
Salt Lake City, Utah, USA,
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00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:53,180
Aid the first leg is beiig rui by Greece 's
very owi Spiro Thaiatopoulis,,,
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00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:57,188
who appareitly sa ved a whole herd
of goats from a ruiaway truck,
8
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,492
Boy, I've always been a sucker
for the torch-lighting ceremony.
9
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,856
That, and the four-man bobsled.
10
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:07,697
I just wish they didn't have to
sit so close together.
11
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:11,168
And remember,
Arlen is still looking for one local hero...
12
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,762
to carry the flame
as it passes through town.
13
00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:17,434
You may drop off your essay at the station
or at any Pinky's Liquor.
14
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,273
Look at Spiro's run.
15
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,007
He reminds me of a young Hank Hill,
only hairier.
16
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:26,517
I'd trade a village full of Spiri
for one Hank Hill.
17
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:30,919
You took Arlen High to the Texas State
Football Championships, you did.
18
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,651
And we would have won it all, too...
19
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:36,695
if your ankle hadn't snapped
just two yards from the goal line.
20
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,787
Yep. Your dad's a real hero.
21
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:43,665
No, no. The guy who beat that shark away
with his own arm, he's a hero.
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00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,438
I've toyed with the idea
of being a hero someday...
23
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:51,306
either by doing something
or stopping something.
24
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,502
Then I'll get a trophy.
25
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,877
And then you'll have to build me
my very own trophy shelf.
26
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:59,941
Well, actually, Bobby, I already have.
27
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,388
Yeah, I started it
right after you were born.
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00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:06,857
And then, well, you know.
29
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:11,728
I tell you what.
The spider plants have thrived on it.
30
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:24,940
Oh, not too close, Bobby.
31
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:28,844
Those leafy green plants can suck
the oxygen right out of your body.
32
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:31,212
Boy, look at all Dad's trophies.
33
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:35,048
I'll never be able to win a trophy
or build a shelf.
34
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,951
Oh, honey, you'll be able to win a trophy.
35
00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:42,153
I haven't won one yet
and my body's already starting to go.
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00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:43,722
[Bobby sighs]
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00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:04,884
Ow!
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00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,386
Hey, Bobby. Look who's here. Me.
39
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,556
Now, I know you thought
you'd never win a trophy...
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00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,627
but that was before this.
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00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,561
Congratulations!
42
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,462
All right!
43
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,028
Wait a minute.
I don't remember winning anything.
44
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,802
-I don't remember competing for anything.
-Oh, yeah?
45
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:31,434
Well, you won first place
in the international competition...
46
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,877
for being the best you
you could possibly be, huh?
47
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,108
You're one of the funniest people
in the house.
48
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,276
You get most of your clothes
in the basket.
49
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,752
And you always turn off the light
when you leave a room.
50
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,016
Frankly, the contest wasn't even close.
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00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:46,318
I don't know.
52
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,520
It all sounds pretty much like
just getting up in the morning.
53
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,359
Well, the great ones make it look easy.
54
00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:54,056
Look, Bobby.
55
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:58,365
They don't give trophies
for being a sweet, sweet, sweet boy.
56
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:01,902
But they should. And they have. I did.
57
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:09,080
I'd like to thank my mother, my agent,
and my baby's mama.
58
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:12,613
Things didn't look so good
at the beginning of the season...
59
00:04:12,785 --> 00:04:16,448
but they believed I could be
the best Bobby I could be.
60
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:23,622
I wonder who'll get nominated
to carry the torch through Arlen.
61
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,824
I think it ought to be that boy
down at the Waffle House.
62
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,333
His Jesus T-shirts are an inspiration.
63
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,235
And he buses those tables better than
most two-armed folks.
64
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,670
No, he doesn't.
65
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:38,175
Sausage, the breakfast of champions.
66
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,011
-Hey, that's my trophy.
-It's my trophy.
67
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,106
Mom gave it to me
for being the best me I could be.
68
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,082
And I graciously accepted.
69
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:50,554
It's a football trophy.
That's a running back fending off a tackler.
70
00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:54,657
I thought you said it was me putting
my nerf ball away in the toy hamper.
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00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,490
Well, Bobby, it could....
72
00:04:56,763 --> 00:05:00,927
Well, it was just sitting in a box
gathering dust and dust-mite feces.
73
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,398
So, this one is yours, too?
74
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:07,405
Oh, for crying out loud.
How many trophies do you have?
75
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,532
Look, Bobby,
I want to see you get a trophy, too.
76
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,201
But you've gotta earn it.
77
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:16,339
Now, most Little League teams
need a husky fellow to play catcher.
78
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:18,417
And you like to wear masks.
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00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,849
No, thanks.
80
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:24,117
Hank, I am just trying
to boost that boy's self-esteem.
81
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:27,659
You have a shelf full of awards
and a beautiful wife on your arm.
82
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,523
Why can't Bobby have a trophy, too?
83
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:33,588
You don't give someone an award
they don't deserve just to cheer them up.
84
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:37,192
Why not make every Super Bowl a tie
so everyone gets a ring...
85
00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:39,294
and no one is ""bummed out""?
86
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,703
Hank, I am having a brainstorm. Bobby!
87
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:51,346
Honey, how would you like to carry
the Olympic torch?
88
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:54,142
-You mean it?
-Don't make fun of the boy.
89
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,814
I will write an essay nominating you.
90
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,653
I will open with a joke,
but not at your expense...
91
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:04,628
and I will close with a quotation
from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
92
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:07,525
I'll go turn on your computer
and warm up the seat.
93
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:08,861
Good boy.
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00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:10,836
[Sighing]
95
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,902
Defacing my trophy was bad enough.
96
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:16,474
But now she's dragging
the Olympics into it?
97
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:20,171
Just because Bobby wears a cape
doesn't make him a hero.
98
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,746
It actually detracts.
99
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:25,339
The same could not be said
of your average matador.
100
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,414
I make a good point.
101
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,751
There are so many more
deserving people in this town.
102
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,291
She's just setting him up for a big fall...
103
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:37,056
Iike when we told Bill
there was a woman out there for him.
104
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,364
Hey!
105
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:43,969
Today is the day. They're gonna
announce that I get to carry the torch.
106
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:47,664
Although, to be true
to the ancient Olympians before me...
107
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,674
I should be nude.
108
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:54,338
Just in case you are chosen,
you're gonna have to run a half a mile.
109
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:58,315
That's about 500 trips to the refrigerator,
just so you know.
110
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,112
I know. That's why I've been training.
111
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,486
Bobby, you seem to have a hitch
in your get-along.
112
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,559
No, Dad. I'm speed walking.
113
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:09,184
The only Olympic sport...
114
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:13,254
endorsed by the American Association
of Retired Persons.
115
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,335
-Easier on the knees.
-Beautiful, Bobby.
116
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,596
[Car horn blaring]
117
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,168
Congratulations, sug'!
118
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,299
Oh, my God. I did it! I won!
119
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:26,173
I'd jump for joy but, you know, the knees.
120
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,803
Oh, what the heck?
121
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,006
[Bobby exclaims]
122
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,510
Bobby, you won.
123
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,609
Oh, dang it,
I just took our camera in to be developed.
124
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,154
To be fair, Hank, I wrote the essay.
125
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:39,622
But why don't you let this be
Bobby's moment?
126
00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:42,694
Okay, who's ready for the big news?
127
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:49,030
Mr. Hill, you will be running
the Arlen leg of the Olympic-torch relay.
128
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,296
-Congratulations, Hank.
-Hank?
129
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,799
But, Mom, you said I was gonna
get a trophy.
130
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,070
Isn't that precious?
Now, give the torch to your daddy.
131
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:02,011
You must want the Hank Hill
from West Arlen.
132
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:04,446
Hold on. I've got some mail for him, too.
133
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,950
It's you, sug'. Congratulations.
134
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,544
I'm not trying to tell you
how to do your business...
135
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:12,920
but the Durndle torch guy cried.
Very moving.
136
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:23,360
So, how does it feel to be
the official torchbearer?
137
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:26,666
Are you filled with pride? Humility?
138
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,668
What are you filled with, sug'?
Arlen wants to know.
139
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,369
Mostly confusion. See, I didn't--
140
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,969
I will tell you what he is not filled with.
Shame.
141
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,242
For nominating himself behind my back.
142
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,716
I wonder what else you do back there
without me knowing.
143
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:42,310
Let's get some B-roll of me smiling.
144
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:47,184
I didn't nominate myself. I haven't written
an essay since high school.
145
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:51,730
And I specifically remember,
it was not ""Why I Should Carry the Torch.""
146
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,861
It was about hammers.
147
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,696
It's okay. You deserve it more than I do.
148
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,604
You're a good loser, Son.
149
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:03,163
Thanks. Maybe someday
I'll get a trophy for that.
150
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,744
So, Hank, if you did not write that essay,
who did?
151
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:14,148
I don't know.
Probably just some satisfied customer.
152
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:17,347
The identity of the secret essay writer's
a secret.
153
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:18,787
Until now.
154
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,349
Paragraph one, paragraph two,
Hank's signature.
155
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:25,964
What? Dang it, Dale.
You remember how mad I was...
156
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,727
when you guys washed my truck
without permission.
157
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,358
But you were right, Hank.
158
00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:33,336
The torch should go to someone
really deserving.
159
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:36,772
And that's you.
Even if we didn't win State.
160
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:41,073
After all, Hank, America is not
just a land of opportunity...
161
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,205
it is a land of redemption.
162
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,483
[Sniffing]
163
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,079
-It's from the essay.
-Damn, that's good.
164
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,780
Hoist her up. Let's see how she looks.
165
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,418
[All cheering]
166
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,458
[Exclaiming in pain]
167
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,760
This salsa's stinging my cuts.
168
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:07,033
I'm fixing to bring out the tortilla chips.
I'm not gonna tell you again.
169
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:08,197
[All cheering]
170
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:11,572
How's it feel, Dad?
Is it everything I hoped it would be?
171
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,008
I don't want to be here.
172
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,876
And I wouldn't be
if Dale hadn't baked all day.
173
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:19,577
Well, then, you shouldn't have had
your henchmen write that essay.
174
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,984
Y'all want to see what Dale's been keeping
in the basement for the last 20 years?
175
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,078
[All protesting]
176
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:28,149
No, no, not that. I made him donate that
to the teaching hospital.
177
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,557
Boomhauer.
178
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:33,661
The year is 1979.
179
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:37,998
Every week the entire nation turns
for hope to Laverie aid Shirley,
180
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:43,032
Ted Koppel arranges to have 44 Americans
held hostage on a soundstage...
181
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:47,044
in Burbank by actors impersonating
lranian fanatics.
182
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:51,443
And Arlen's leading all-time rusher
is Hank Hill!
183
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:52,676
[All cheering]
184
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:57,651
The hopes and dreams of a small
Texas town in the state of Texas...
185
00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:02,592
rest squarely on the broad athletic
shoulders of their star running back...
186
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,391
and his trusted towel manager.
187
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,056
Look at Hank go!
188
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,195
Running all over those men. He doesn't
care who he steps on to get his glory.
189
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:12,827
Nothing's changed.
190
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,503
Touchdown!
191
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:22,305
Okay, stop it. No one wants to watch this.
192
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,249
Hey, who wants to dance?
Dale, help me move that couch.
193
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,820
-Dang it.
-What's the matter, Hank?
194
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:32,516
You don't want to see the part
where you broke your ankle?
195
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,389
Film's a little grainy,
but I think you can see bone.
196
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,019
Yeah, man. It's like he's going back there
in the pocket...
197
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:41,497
and you'll see that old snap.
And then you hear that snap. Oh, man!
198
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,866
I don't want to see my ankle,
and I don't want to carry the dang torch.
199
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,578
-Anyone want to see Nancy in an art film?
-Sug'!
200
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,314
Dad...
201
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:07,186
someday someone's gonna make
the world's largest fruit pie.
202
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,658
And the next day...
203
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:12,663
I'm gonna get in the Guinness Book
of World Records for eating it.
204
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:16,223
Bobby, I'm not in the mood for riddles
right now.
205
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:19,998
I'm just saying I hope you aren't
backing out because you feel bad for me.
206
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:24,075
I'll have my moment in the sun someday.
But this one's yours.
207
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,412
You're a hero.
You took Arlen High to State.
208
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,775
I'm not a hero. I'm a disgrace.
209
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,719
BOBBY: Okay, your trousers are filthy.
210
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,847
But so were everybody else's.
Forget about it.
211
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,186
Keep watching.
212
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,386
[Bobby exclaims]
213
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,030
There's more.
214
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,357
That's amazing!
215
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:53,370
I didn't realize people
walked like Egyptians back then.
216
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:57,702
It's shameful, the worst kind
of useless showboating.
217
00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,443
The only thing missing was an earring.
218
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:03,681
And on the very next play,
going for the two-point conversion...
219
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,909
that would have won us
the championship...
220
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:07,679
I broke my ankle.
221
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,551
God was punishing me for being prideful.
222
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,054
He didn't give me a fatal heart attack...
223
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,787
because he still wanted me
to sell propane.
224
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,522
But He made his point.
225
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,824
That's crazy.
226
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:23,197
God wasn't punishing you,
it was just a coincidence.
227
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:25,870
No, it wasn't. It was God.
228
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:29,101
Is this why you're so uptight all the time...
229
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,974
because you think something bad
is gonna happen if you act happy?
230
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,045
[Sighing]
231
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,071
[Mumbling]
232
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:40,448
Remember when you saw that bumper
sticker, ""Honk if You Love America""?
233
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:44,114
You smiled, pumped your arm,
and honked twice.
234
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:45,884
I do love America.
235
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,482
And your car didn't go off the road.
236
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:51,993
You're right. We drove home safely.
237
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,392
You know, he's only 13 years old...
238
00:13:55,501 --> 00:14:00,370
but maybe Bobby is onto something
with this ""it's okay to feel good"" stuff.
239
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:04,167
Well, if Bobby says it's all right for you
to run with the torch...
240
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:07,404
I will not oppose him.
And I will not oppose you.
241
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,375
I will let you run unopposed.
242
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:16,544
I know running with the torch won't
get me on the front of a Wheaties box...
243
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:20,455
but it sure does give me that
front-of-a-Wheaties-box feeling.
244
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:23,050
Come on. Less talky, more walky.
245
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,392
Give me another 0.5 miles.
246
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,589
[Hank chuckling]
247
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,400
Hot or cold towel, Hank?
248
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:37,073
Well, my torch hand is getting
a little slippery.
249
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:40,640
Look at us, it's just like
when we were in high school.
250
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,613
You secreting, me absorbing.
251
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,277
And you know, these are the
very same towels from back then.
252
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:49,914
Hey, it's Hank Hill, the torch guy.
253
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:53,048
You were 12 across in today's
Arlei Bystaider crossword puzzle.
254
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:55,786
Will you sign it for me? In pencil?
255
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,060
ALL: [Chanting] Hank! Hank! Hank!
256
00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:01,826
Come on. Give them a little taste, Dad.
257
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,892
[Crowd chanting]
258
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,842
Okay. Remember, honey,
you're going to be on TV...
259
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,810
so do not do that thing with your nose
that you're not aware of.
260
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,005
What thing?
261
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:19,384
I'm here live with Arlen torchbearer,
Hank Hill.
262
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,545
Which hand do you think
you will carry the torch in?
263
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:23,622
The right.
264
00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:26,247
Did you give any thought
to any other hand?
265
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:27,825
No, I did not.
266
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,188
[Crowd cheering]
267
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:36,325
Sounds like the Durndle
Torchbearer approacheth.
268
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,596
Finally. It took him forever.
269
00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:41,468
Well, they're not exactly swift in Durndle.
270
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,007
Oh, he is so brave.
271
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,412
[Crowd cheering]
272
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,388
Hank, wait!
273
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,153
Dang it, Dale.
274
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:07,198
This flame traveled 3,000 miles,
plus the distance from the sun to Greece.
275
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,400
You're tarnishing the spirit
of the Winter Games.
276
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:13,300
Au coitraire, I am inhaling it.
277
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:19,707
Remember, Dad. Haste, grace and dignity.
Now, move out!
278
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,309
Yeah!
279
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,878
WOMAN: Way to go! Way to go, Hank!
280
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,715
Oh, my God. Stop him.
He's running in the wrong direction!
281
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,191
Oh, no, he's not. He's not, people!
Everything's fine!
282
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,393
I'm so darn happy
I'd skip the rest of the way.
283
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,729
Thank you, Bobby.
284
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:55,941
[Whooping]
285
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,154
[Exclaiming]
286
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:18,032
Oh, no.
287
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:21,004
Hank. Have you been shot?
288
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,438
No. But I deserve to be.
289
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:28,268
Oh, my God! The flame is out!
The Olympics are over.
290
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:32,906
Those poor athletes.
All their training for nothing.
291
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:36,749
You see, Bobby?
This is what happens when you act happy.
292
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,589
Thanks a lot.
293
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:41,016
I was just trying to help.
294
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:44,254
Okay. I will go find an Olympic official.
295
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:46,361
Or would you like to
turn yourself in, Hank?
296
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:50,299
No. I already ruined the most important
game in Texas history.
297
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,632
I'm not gonna ruin these games.
298
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,173
All right, here's the plan.
299
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:58,937
I didn't fall and the flame didn't go out.
300
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,175
Is everybody clear on the plan?
301
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:05,476
That's not the real flame. That's just fire.
It's cheating.
302
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,714
No, no, it's fine.
It looks exactly like the old flame.
303
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,561
[Crowd cheering]
304
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,766
He's running with a flaming lie.
305
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:34,209
How am I gonna enjoy the figure skating
with this dark cloud hanging over us?
306
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:36,712
Bobby, if your father doesn't go through
with this...
307
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:40,444
the Hills will be forever known
as the family that ruined the Olympics.
308
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,520
Now, I can go back
to using my maiden name.
309
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,054
I have no idea what you will do.
310
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:49,725
Come on, Arlen!
Only 20 more feet and it's all you.
311
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,296
Yeah, you got it!
This is for the rings, baby!
312
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:06,411
What the....
313
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:10,305
Come on, man.
It's only a couple more steps.
314
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,041
Why is he slowing down?
315
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,642
He's 40. Cut him some slack.
316
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:18,189
Stop hot-dogging it.
You had your time in the sun.
317
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,690
Come on, baby. Give me some flame.
318
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:21,759
[Sighing]
319
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:30,559
[Crowd exclaiming]
320
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,228
[Booing]
321
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,868
What are you doing?
322
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:39,136
Oh, man. That is weak.
323
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,609
He put it out.
324
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:45,240
'Cause he's a quitter. I never quit.
Hell, I've been smoking for 30 years.
325
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:49,884
The flame!
326
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,218
My oral fixation!
327
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:58,223
But you don't understand.
That wasn't the real flame.
328
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:02,926
You don't understand. I lost 500 pounds.
I'm a hero.
329
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,835
Don't worry, Dad!
I'm coming as fast as I can!
330
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:10,602
This cigarette was lit
with the Olympic torch.
331
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,041
The flame lives!
332
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:18,375
-All right, Bobby.
-It's going out.
333
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:22,078
Mr. Gribble, smoke!
334
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,541
Hold on. Bobby, you earned it.
335
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,481
All right. The last guy put it out.
336
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,384
The bar's pretty low, Todd. You can do it!
337
00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:58,887
That's right, Mc Maynerbury.
338
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:03,360
Brother running with the torch
and not a damn thing you can do about it.
339
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,773
For preserving the honor and integrity...
340
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,644
of the Olympic flame
and all it represents...
341
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:28,413
I hereby award this trophy to Bobby Hill.
342
00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:34,186
I guess if you wanted to do
a celebration dance, that'd be all right.
343
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:36,827
Not now, Dad.
344
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:44,626
Now!
345
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,130
[Humming]
346
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:53,105
HANK: Okay, that's eiough, Bobby,
347
00:22:28,146 --> 00:22:29,943
BlLL: Uh huh, Hey!
348
00:22:30,943 --> 00:22:40,943
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