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1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,268
-Hank, can I use your bathroom?
-No.
2
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:07,534
But I locked myself out of my house.
3
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,665
No.
4
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:11,003
Can I use your phone to call a locksmith?
5
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:14,979
If I let you use the phone,
you'll sneak in and use the toilet.
6
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:19,613
Look, I'd prefer it if no one ever had to use
the bathroom.
7
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,485
But until that day,
let's just make the best of it...
8
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,785
and respect one another's privacy.
9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,224
From the lukewarm headwaters...
10
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:29,556
of the mighty Brazos River--
11
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:30,892
Stop it!
12
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,828
Well, it is his cooler.
13
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,670
Okay, I'm putting you in charge...
14
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,069
of buying our prom tickets
at lunch tomorrow.
15
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:16,541
I have to break it to Kim and Dooley
they're out of the limo.
16
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:17,872
Are you listening, Bobby?
17
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,969
-Yeah.
-Come on.
18
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,543
We can't cut through the high-school
parking lot.
19
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,209
We're middle-schoolers. They hate us.
20
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,912
High-school students are far too busy
with their studies...
21
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:31,082
to care about us riding
through their parking lot.
22
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,818
Connie, come back!
23
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,790
Oh! You are forcing me to protect you.
24
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:48,335
Hey, Shorty.
Where do you think you're going?
25
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,442
We don't want any trouble, gentlemen.
26
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,377
We're not letting you pass
until you give us a little song.
27
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,538
This is crazy.
28
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,047
Just because we go to middle school--
29
00:01:56,149 --> 00:02:00,017
[Singing] /f you want to be my lover,
you gotta get with my friends
30
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,110
Connie, go!
31
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,552
-What?
-Hey!
32
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,552
Get him.
33
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,315
I'm gonna beat the crap out of you.
34
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,189
If you're not gonna help, be quiet.
35
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,059
Oh, man!
36
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,790
BOY: Dude, there he is.
37
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,896
-Yup.
-Yup.
38
00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,111
What the heck?
39
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,748
You know, Hank, your selfish refusal...
40
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,411
to let Bill use your bathroom
got me thinking.
41
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:11,058
I plan on creating and then cornering...
42
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,623
the premium port-a-potty market.
43
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,729
It'll be the best dollar
a person could spend.
44
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,424
Nobody's gonna want to pay good money
to use...
45
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,002
a stinky portable...washroom.
46
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,369
Stinky?
47
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,303
DALE: With the finest lotions,
the softest tissues...
48
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,534
and the most pleasing lighting design...
49
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,840
the Port-a-Gribble will be a
4-by-5-by-8-foot slice of paradise.
50
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,477
Finally a vacation I can afford.
51
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,812
Not so fast.
52
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:41,246
A dollar buys the key.
That's the friend price.
53
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:45,654
Thank you.
54
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:55,357
BILL: Oh! I feel like I'm a millionaire
construction worker.
55
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,096
What the...
56
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:03,142
Oh, man, look at him running around
with that flabby little...
57
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,075
BILL: What? What did I miss?
58
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,844
Hank, we are getting his bike right now.
59
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,713
If we move fast,
maybe we can still find his pants.
60
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:15,084
Peggy. if we get his bike now,
we'll be getting it for him until he's 16.
61
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,917
Then we'll be getting his truck.
62
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:21,187
It's kind of a tradition for high-schoolers
to pick on the young and the weak.
63
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,455
No offense, Son.
64
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,724
All right. I'll go get the bike.
65
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:29,936
Just make sure you videotape
my chef programs while I'm in the coma.
66
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:35,903
Don't be a hero.
67
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,808
Curl up in a ball and cry if you have to.
68
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,578
Listen, if anything happens...
69
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,878
promise me you'll take care of Connie.
70
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,250
Make sure she goes to the prom.
71
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,651
It's really important to her.
72
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,948
Me and Connie at the prom?
73
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,461
Wow!
74
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,594
I won't let you down.
75
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,630
Bobby? Tom Landry Middle School rules.
76
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,770
TLMSR.
77
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,843
Where's my bike?
78
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,280
Yeah. So before I knew it,
my entire bangs were on fire.
79
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:19,478
Okay. But did he say whether or not
he likes me?
80
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,349
[School bell ringing]
81
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:23,112
Yeah.
82
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,385
Okay, let's go, freshman.
83
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,015
That was the warning bell.
84
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,458
Freshman? No.
85
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:31,031
No, sir. I'm still in middle school.
86
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,759
Look, I know it's tough in there
for a freshman.
87
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,993
They're animals.
88
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,432
I got some advice for you.
89
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,028
Puff out your chest and walk like this.
90
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,836
I saw a gorilla do it on a nature show.
91
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,007
Scared the crap out of me.
92
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,441
Now, go on.
93
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:09,335
...and the uterine wall sloughs off...
94
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,139
Taco Bueno in school?
95
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,013
I thought that was just an urban legend.
96
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:38,065
"God spell� ? That was banned
in middle school.
97
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,127
I have arrived.
98
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,964
I am so wassup.
99
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,037
Bobby! Thank God you're alive.
100
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,804
I've never been more alive in my life.
101
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,942
I was in high school.
102
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,676
It was like I was living in a dream.
103
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,486
But if it was all a dream...
104
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,045
how did I get this burrito wrapper
from Taco Bueno?
105
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,616
BOBBY: That's right.
106
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:08,354
Taco Bueno, in the food court,
at the high school.
107
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,130
Did they have a language lab?
108
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,722
Did you notice what the
teacher-student ratio was?
109
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,763
Oh! My mind is just racing with questions.
110
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,268
I gotta get back.
111
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:20,567
The Colonel's cooking up something tasty
for lunch...
112
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,234
in the food court, at the high school.
113
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,798
Hey, fresh meat,
this is the senior bathroom.
114
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,163
I'm gonna shove your head in the toilet.
115
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,327
Put me down. My growth is stunted.
116
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:53,338
My kidneys are broken. I'm really a senior.
117
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,939
Like that kid on that old TV show?
118
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,740
Yes, exactly like that kid
on that old TV show.
119
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,639
Now, put me down.
120
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,707
You know, you do look kind of familiar.
121
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,979
Didn't we see you at Conklin's party?
122
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,990
Anybody who says they remember
that party wasn't really there.
123
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,986
-Oh, Dude.
-Dude.
124
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:20,556
Okay. So, what's the deal with all the
"No Doubt� posters?
125
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,333
Hey, wait. I thought you said
you went to school here.
126
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,528
I do.
127
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,635
But I've been in dialysis
the last couple of months.
128
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,871
Lefty shut down and I just got him
working again.
129
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,913
Sucks for you.
130
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,915
Well, anyway, we're in the middle of
a big radio contest with...
131
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,076
with, like, every high school in Texas.
132
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,449
If we win,
No Doubt's gonna play our prom.
133
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,456
We're in fifth place
behind a Catholic girls' school.
134
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:46,992
Those chicks are tough.
135
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,583
No Doubt rules.
136
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,960
All we've got is some Vegas theme
at our dance...
137
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,592
at the hospital.
138
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,197
So, what do you do?
139
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,792
Eat weird stuff?
140
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,703
Eat stuff, stack stuff, spray paint stuff.
141
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,639
We listen to Pig 106 every morning.
142
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,211
Wacky and Steve tell us what to do.
143
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,540
[School bell ringing]
144
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,240
Yeah! It's pep-rally time.
145
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,277
Come on, kidney boy.
146
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,110
Cool.
147
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:18,788
Wow! Your cheerleaders
really have boobies.
148
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,427
Yeah. Even junior varsity has them.
149
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,323
Okay, settle people. Settle.
150
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,429
You're gonna want to hear this one.
151
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,524
Conklin!
152
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:31,104
Okay, I just got the word
from Wacky and Steve...
153
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:34,003
that Pierce High School lost their
liability insurance...
154
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:37,668
and can't do the Dishwasher of Doom.
155
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,108
So, they're out.
156
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:43,578
So that puts us in the top four
with 296 points.
157
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,650
There's no doubt we're gonna win
this thing.
158
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,048
God, I love this school.
159
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,513
Yeah!
160
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,252
Friends, I know you've used toilets.
161
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,921
But I'll wager you've never
truly experienced one.
162
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,996
Why just relieve yourself
when you can reward yourself?
163
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,302
Mr. Strickland, is it?
164
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,835
Well, I might be able to conjure up
a little something.
165
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,910
STRICKLAND: Hank, pay the toilet man.
166
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,472
Al right.
167
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,685
All right, Anthony. The record's a minute.
You ready?
168
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,723
Dude...
169
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,261
ANTHONY: Let me out. I can't breathe.
170
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,860
I taste soap.
171
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,802
Do we have anybody short?
172
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,931
Where's that petite kid who tumbles?
173
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,703
Rosemary? She moved to Oklahoma.
174
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,643
I'll do it.
175
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,273
What about your kidneys?
176
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,783
They're full of Arlen High spirit.
177
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,283
Who is he?
178
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,914
He's so cute...and helpless.
179
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:01,016
Kidney boy. We call him that because
of his bad kidneys.
180
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,391
You mean, like, he could die any minute?
181
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,986
Try any second.
182
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,266
BOBBY: Oh, yeah! Arlen High rules.
183
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,210
I can't stop thinking about Connie.
184
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,944
I know she's Bobby's girl. But I love her.
185
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,512
They're not married. Go for it.
186
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,948
BOBBY: I need the latest hard numbers
in the No Doubt competition.
187
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,182
An estimate does me no good.
188
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:35,194
Pig 106 says Lubbock is getting
a point a person...
189
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,457
for cramming kids into a phone booth.
190
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,032
A phone booth?
191
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,392
-How are we ever gonna beat that?
-Wait.
192
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,802
I've got something that is the size
of a phone booth.
193
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,498
And smells like a phone booth.
194
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:48,836
A port-a-potty.
195
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,034
-That's rad.
-Yeah.
196
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,611
No Doubt is ours.
197
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,837
CONNIE: Bobby?
198
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,947
Please tell me you bought
our prom tickets.
199
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,479
I've got a situation here, Connie.
200
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,989
Lubbock is cramming kids
into a phone booth.
201
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,752
I'll get the tickets tomorrow.
202
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,657
Bobby, they're sold out.
203
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:12,254
It turns out all those nerds who said
they have girlfriends at other schools...
204
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,594
weren't lying.
205
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:18,262
Well, then come with me
to the high-school prom.
206
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,964
They're getting No Doubt to play.
207
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,837
The high-school prom?
208
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,438
Me at the high-school prom...
209
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,708
hanging out with Arlen"s best teachers.
210
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,275
-Who's the middle-school cheese?
-Oh, no.
211
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,382
She's a high-school girl I know
from the children's hospital.
212
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,957
Yeah, she has...
213
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,752
a little tail.
214
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,850
It's not like a monkey...
215
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,190
more like a hamster.
216
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,092
They can't operate.
217
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,065
So, they're dissolving it
with Compound W.
218
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,699
Oh, that brave little hamster girl.
219
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:54,569
And you are so sweet to take care of her.
220
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:01,843
I like the bow tie. Lose everything else.
221
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,810
Check you out.
222
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,515
That is one fly tux.
223
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,619
Is that hamster girl?
224
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,288
She's very sensitive.
225
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,384
And she has super hearing.
226
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:20,327
Oh. Because I was gonna tell you that
Vivian wants to go to the prom with you.
227
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,901
What are you staring at?
228
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,597
Nothing. I was...
229
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,731
Can you pick up things with your tail?
230
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,502
Like that shoe?
231
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,839
Yeah. Does it wag when you're happy?
232
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:36,711
Connie, why don't we try this tux on
in the dressing room?
233
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,988
Bobby, why do those guys think
I have a tail?
234
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:46,089
Oh, probably because medical science...
235
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,493
Oh! I told them you had one.
236
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:50,994
Why were you making fun of me?
237
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,998
No. It's very romantic.
238
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,893
You have a tail. I have bad kidneys.
239
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:01,206
We met on a rainy day at hospital camp.
240
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,833
And now we can go
to the high-school prom.
241
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,374
I thought they liked you
because you were so cool...
242
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,380
not pitied you because you're a freak.
243
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,543
No! I have the medical condition.
You're the freak.
244
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,246
You've gotta keep this straight
or we're never gonna pull it off.
245
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,847
I am not gonna pretend
I have a medical problem.
246
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,449
There are people who really have tails.
247
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,427
Maybe. Well, I'm not going.
248
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:28,060
Fine! But I'm going
to the high-school prom.
249
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,730
What's with hamster girl?
250
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,305
Oh, she can't go to the prom.
251
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,467
She's having that problem with her DNA
or something.
252
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,874
I don't know. It's bad.
253
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,241
Hey, that means you can take Vivian.
254
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,814
-Dude!
-Dude!
255
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,699
Let's go, kidney boy. Come on. Suck it in.
256
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,631
I...
257
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,839
thought maybe if you're not still
creeped out by me...
258
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,435
you might go to the prom with me.
259
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,946
I've got two tickets.
260
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,915
If you're not still, you know, creeped out.
261
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,944
I'd be honored.
262
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,701
Everybody settle down.
263
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:43,502
Any minute now I'm expecting
a phone call from Pig106.
264
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,335
We're gonna find out--
265
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,508
PRINCIPAL: Hello?
WACKY: Yes. Hello.
266
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,676
I'd like to order a pizza.
267
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,715
Please, ma'am.
We're trying to keep the line clear.
268
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,986
STEVE: Hey, you've been pranked
by Wacky and Steve.
269
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,030
WACKY: Hey, we have a lady here
who'd like to speak to you.
270
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,188
She's really hot.
271
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,132
And I know I've spent more than
a few nights thinking about her.
272
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,259
Here she is.
273
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,734
Steve's mom/
274
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,032
STEVE: Dang, now I've been pranked.
275
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,232
Let's just get to the get to.
276
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,309
There's someone that wants to talk
to you.
277
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,708
GWEN: Hey, what's up?
This is Gwen from No Doubt.
278
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:20,802
TOM: Hey, this is Tom from No Doubt.
279
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,779
ADRIAN: Hey, how're you doing?
This is Tony from No Doubt.
280
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,316
TONY: That's not Tony, that was Adrian.
281
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,748
I'm Tony from No Doubt.
282
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,981
GWEN: Sorry we can't talk.
But we gotta call Lubbock...
283
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,254
and tell them they lost to Arlen High.
284
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,918
Congratulations, you guys.
See you at the prom.
285
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,758
You still in there, Peggy?
286
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:45,097
What are you doing?
287
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,607
LUANNE: Uncle Hank, is that you?
288
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,009
I really need someone to talk to.
289
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,478
Uncle Hank.
290
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,811
Okay, Dale. You win.
291
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:00,415
I need to use your port-a-room.
292
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,650
So, now Mr.
I'll-Only-Share-A-Toilet-With-My-Wife...
293
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,316
wants to share one with us.
294
00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,519
Well, take a walk, toilet snob.
295
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,928
Hold on, Bill.
296
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,499
Here at Port-a-Gribble,
we reserve the right...
297
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,125
to refuse service to no one.
298
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:18,131
No shirt, no shoes...
299
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,602
yes service.
300
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:36,983
Flowers.
301
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,593
He's a squatter.
302
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,765
[Ride With Me by Nelly playing]
303
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:58,037
All right, what are we water-ballooning?
304
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,602
-Cows?
-Even better.
305
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,480
Tonight's the middle-school prom.
306
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:08,882
BOBBY: As high-schoolers, we should
be doing something way cooler than this.
307
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,989
Bowling's on me. We can steal shoes.
308
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,395
KIM: Oh, thanks.
309
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,661
Run, Dooley.
310
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:28,064
-No!
-You got soaked.
311
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:35,275
Well, you're just jealous because
it's Friday night and we have dates.
312
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,180
Hey, hamster girl,
what are you doing here?
313
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,211
-She's--
-In middle school.
314
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,090
Middle school?
315
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,957
Yeah. The Compound W dissolved
the rest of my tail.
316
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:53,160
They thought middle school would be
less stressful after...
317
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,666
you know, losing my tail and all.
318
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:58,426
Okay. So, you're, like all normal now?
319
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,038
Yes. I'm cured.
320
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,200
Good. Because otherwise I'd feel bad
about this.
321
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,407
Get out of the way.
322
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:13,015
If you want to hit a middle-schooler,
you might as well hit me.
323
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,109
What?
324
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,120
This is my real school.
325
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,520
I am a middle-schooler.
326
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,786
He's so lame. Let's soak him.
327
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,456
ANTHONY: Yeah, soak in it.
328
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,265
Soak in your lies, kidney boy.
329
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,941
Come on, Connie. Let's go inside.
330
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:41,139
-Hold on, Joseph.
-Oh, that's it.
331
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,839
I can't take these mind games anymore.
332
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,883
You're gonna have to choose right now.
333
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,578
Is it him or me?
334
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,687
What?
335
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,755
Bobby is my boyfriend. You know that.
336
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,416
I'm still your boyfriend?
337
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:55,717
Really?
338
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,764
Yes, but because you were such a jerk,
I don't have prom tickets.
339
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,264
So, I'm going with Joseph.
340
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,459
Cool.
341
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:13,840
Joseph understands that you only went
to the prom with him...
342
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,880
to get back at me, right?
343
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,342
I don't really think he does.
344
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,317
It's actually a bit of a mess.
345
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,012
ANTHONY: Hey, kidney boy.
346
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,518
-A prom ticket?
-Yeah.
347
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,257
We got to thinking that
you did help us win.
348
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:33,263
And No Doubt heard about the kidney boy.
349
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,891
So, you had better be there.
And you had better look sick.
350
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:39,631
Oh, I'll be there. On one condition.
351
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,241
[Don't Speak by No Doubt playing]
352
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,868
Hey, aren't you kidney boy?
353
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,462
No, sir. I'm not.
354
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,105
Kidney boy is gone for good.
355
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,576
Kidney boy died. He's gone.
356
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,546
What's up, Arlen High?
357
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,449
I just got some terrible news.
358
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:32,749
This next song is dedicated to the memory
of kidney boy.
359
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,051
Poor kidney boy.
360
00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:29,281
PRINCIPAL: Conklin!
361
00:22:29,331 --> 00:22:33,881
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