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1
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
gather round.
2
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,640
Looking for a last-minute
Christmas gift?
3
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:36,320
Then look no further than this
top-of-the-range jack-in-a-box!
4
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,080
Oh, my nippers will love those.
5
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,160
How much? Only a shilling.
I'll take 11.
6
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,280
I've got a lot of kids. 11?
7
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,040
Merry Christmas! They're already
gift-wrapped for you.
8
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,480
Thank you. Cheers, love.
And remember -
9
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,720
do not open until Christmas Day.
10
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,480
It's very important.
11
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,720
Don't wanna ruin the surprise!
I won't.
12
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,120
Merry Christmas.
13
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,320
THEY LAUGH
14
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,040
Give me the other bunch!
15
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,480
Hello. Hi. Whoa, what's all this?
16
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,840
Presents for the children.
Mary! We have to watch our pennies.
17
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,320
We can afford it.
18
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,160
Just because I'm chief of police,
it doesn't mean
19
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,280
that we're millionaires.
20
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,840
I see you've spent some money on
a suit for the Christmas party?
21
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,760
Well, I had to!
I couldn't go in my long johns.
22
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,520
All right, all right,
I'm sorry.
23
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:23,960
Here, let me give you a hand.
24
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,200
Oh!
25
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,360
I've broken it.
26
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,040
I've broken it. What you doing?
We can't open it until Christmas.
27
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,520
I've got to check if it's ...
28
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,160
What have you bought, Mary?
Where's the jack-in-the-box?
29
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,840
Well, there's no jack, is there?
What do you mean, there's no jack?
30
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,400
It's just a spring!
Check the other one.
31
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,360
Oh! It's another spring!
Where's the puppet that comes out?
32
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,000
You've been had!
Who sold this to ya?
33
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,160
Those children over there
sold it to me!
34
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,320
Dodger!
35
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,720
WHISTLE BLOWS
36
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,080
BELL TINKLES
37
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,040
Bertha. Where's my money?
38
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,480
Oh...
39
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,120
Couldn't you wait a bit longer?
40
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,960
I'm not a charity.
41
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,760
There's your notice of eviction.
42
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,840
But it's Christmas Eve.
43
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,440
I don't care! I'll be back
at midnight for the keys.
44
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,040
Then you're out.
45
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,840
Ah! Toy...woman.
46
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,080
I need a gift for my niece
immediately.
47
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,440
I'm lumbered with her over
Christmas, and I've left it
48
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,320
rather late. How old is your niece?
49
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,320
Older than five,
younger than 15.
50
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,560
What makes her smile? I don't know.
51
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,120
Children and I are like
beef and bananas. We don't mix.
52
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:49,200
Anyway, I've got to be nice to her.
Her father recently died,
53
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,520
selfishly.
54
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,200
Ah! Now, that looks appealing, yes.
55
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,360
Girls like dolls, don't they?
I'll have that.
56
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,800
I'm afraid that's not for sale, sir.
57
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,080
But the sign in the window says
"everything must go".
58
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,320
Yeah, everything but the doll.
She is very special to me.
59
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,000
Sorry. Really? Well, I haven't
got time for this. Here's a crown.
60
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,800
As I said, sir, she is not for sale.
61
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,000
You can have anything else
in the shop.
62
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000
Well, everything else
looks like tat.
63
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,080
Right, here's a pound. Final offer.
64
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,120
Come on, Nan. It's a pound!
65
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,520
My father gave her to me.
66
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,360
He told me never to sell her.
67
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,640
Never! Not for a pound.
68
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:23,800
Not for nothing.
69
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,880
You don't know who I am, do you? Na.
70
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,160
I'm the Prime Minister
of this country.
71
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,680
And if you don't sell me that doll,
72
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,680
I shall tax you
and your toys to the ground.
73
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,480
I'm afraid it's a bit late
to tax us, sir.
74
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,600
We close our doors tonight.
75
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:42,160
50 years in the business,
and this will be our last ever.
76
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,880
Well, my niece shall have
a very unhappy Christmas,
77
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,440
and that'll be thanks to you.
78
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,400
Prime Minister, eh?
79
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,400
SHE SCOFFS
80
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,240
I'm going downstairs
to finish the packing.
81
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,440
Sir. Look, here you go.
82
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,320
Ah! Has the old boot
changed her mind?
83
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,400
She don't realise
how much we need that money.
84
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,400
All right.
Well, that will keep you going.
85
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,640
You said a pound!
86
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,440
Oh, did I? Changed my mind.
87
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,920
Merry Christmas!
88
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,360
But, sir...
89
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,560
Sir!
90
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,680
Happy Christmas!
91
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,320
Get your nog here!
Get your festive nog!
92
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,800
Come on, it's nog o'clock!
93
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,080
I'd love some nog,
Min, but I'm skint.
94
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,560
You feeling generous?
No, I ain't.
95
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,440
Oh, didn't think so.
96
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,240
Nog-free Christmas for all.
97
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,840
Oh, boo-hoo.
98
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,440
I'll save a bit of nog
for you for New Year.
99
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,480
If it don't go sour.
100
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,920
Is that it?
101
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,080
That supposed to get us
through Hogmanay, is it?
102
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,600
The police rumbled us! Sorry, Fagin.
103
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,720
Sorry? I can't eat sorry.
I can't sell sorry.
104
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,600
Sorry's a sorry word
for a sorry Christmas.
105
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,720
What kind of dinner are we
going to buy with that.
106
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,600
Oh, stop squealing. I'll sort it.
107
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,760
I won't have you moping
all over the festive season.
108
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,080
I've spent one too many
miserable yules with you, Fagin.
109
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,960
Me, too. I've had enough.
110
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,320
Right, I'm going down the butchers
to get some scraps with this.
111
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,880
And cheer up, you "missol".
112
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,000
Hang on.
113
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,680
Is that Bertha the toymaker?
114
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,680
Yeah, it is.
115
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:18,720
How do you know her?
116
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,960
When I was little, at Christmas,
she'd give all the orphans a toy.
117
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,800
Come on, Bertha, it's Christmas!
Cheer up, or you're barred.
118
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,360
Sorry, Minnie.
I've had a bit of a hard day.
119
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,560
Get this nog down ya neck.
120
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:33,600
Oh, thanks, love.
121
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,280
You probably don't remember me.
122
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,480
But I've never forgotten you.
123
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,960
Oh, come in!
124
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,600
I'm from All Saints. The orphanage.
125
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:56,320
Oh, yeah! I used to give out
presents every year.
126
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,920
You know, I lost my mummy and daddy
127
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,680
when I was a nipper, just like you.
128
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,720
You see that doll up there?
129
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,320
The last time I ever saw my dad,
130
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,520
he gave that to me.
131
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,800
And I am going to give this to you.
132
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,800
You gave me
my only ever Christmas present.
133
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,800
I never had a present before. Aw!
134
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,280
Have a happy Christmas, won't you?
135
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,840
Happy Christmas. Yeah!
136
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,280
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
137
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,280
I can't do that no more.
138
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,080
We've lost everything -
139
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,080
the shop, our home
140
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,880
and, worst of all, me doll.
141
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,640
Cos someone sold it, didn't they?
142
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,920
That doll in the window?
You remember?
143
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,080
Of course I do! That must have been
well expensive. Yeah!
144
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:51,440
Well, you wouldn't think to look at
me now, but I weren't always poor.
145
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,080
I was born with a silver spoon
in my mouth.
146
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,320
But I lost it all
when the war broke out.
147
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,200
My family, my home.
148
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,560
That's when I come to this country,
to scratch a living in the dirt.
149
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,560
And I've been scratching ever since.
150
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,240
Don't worry. Oh, thanks, love.
151
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,080
No, you done something for me,
152
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,760
now I'm going to do something for
you.
153
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,240
I'm going to get your doll back!
154
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,400
How you going to do that?
155
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,760
I'm going to nick it for ya! Oh!
156
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,120
Where is it?
157
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,520
It's in the Prime Minister's house.
158
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,760
Oh .
159
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,360
Read all about it!
160
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,800
Prime Minister William Lamb's
popularity plummets!
161
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,480
Oi, Prime Minister!
162
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,520
LOUD JEERING
163
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,000
Have that!
164
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,360
The Chancellor can sit
next to the Chief Whip.
165
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,600
But he has dreadful breath!
Ah, here!
166
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,800
Right, that's it.
167
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,320
I'm banning eggs! Look at this,
another jacket ruined!
168
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,400
Ruined!
169
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,560
Well, you are the most unpopular
Prime Minister in living memory.
170
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,000
Well, thank you for reminding me.
171
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,160
I took time out of my very hectic
schedule as the least popular
172
00:07:56,160 --> 00:08:01,600
Prime Minister in living memory
to buy your twerp a gift. Oh.
173
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,120
Why couldn't you do it?
174
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,920
Because I'm too busy
organising your Christmas banquet
175
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,560
to save your reputation!
176
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,720
Good afternoon! How wonderful
to be in London for Christmas.
177
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,560
Will you forgive me,
I've got work to do?
178
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,480
Leave me in peace.
Run along, Clarissa! Uncle!
179
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,080
Oh!
180
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,040
Did you know that London
is the crime capital of the Empire?
181
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,520
There's a burglary every 11 seconds,
an armed robbery every 65 seconds,
182
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:29,320
a violent crime every 25 seconds
and a murder every ten minutes.
183
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,560
Most offenders are young males,
and most offences are petty thefts.
184
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:35,520
The most common offences
committed by women are drunkenness
185
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,120
and vagrancy,
and one other of which I cannot
186
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,680
speak for a fear of offending
my mother's ears.
187
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:44,360
She is not a woman of the world.
No, she's not. Emily!
188
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,280
I do love crime.
189
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,320
Have you read Steen Steensen
Blicher's Rector Of Veilbye?
190
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,960
No. Or Philip Meadows Taylor's
Confessions Of A Thug?
191
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,360
No. They're all fiction, of course.
192
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,120
I prefer true crime.
193
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,840
I should like to meet
a criminal one day.
194
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,640
Good. And then perhaps they'll
steal your vocal cords to stop you
195
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,520
talking. Emily! I should like to be
a policing woman.
196
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,680
They don't let women
become policemen. They should.
197
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,800
They don't, they won't,
they can't.
198
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,920
You're Prime Minister.
You can make up any rules you like.
199
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,680
You could let women be policemen.
200
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:17,000
Clarissa - I have more important
things to do than let women
201
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,320
be policemen.
202
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,640
Emily! Remove your daughter -
she's giving me brain haemorrhoids.
203
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,920
Come along, Clarissa.
Your uncle is a very busy man.
204
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,520
You don't get to be the most
unpopular Prime Minister in living
205
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,920
memory without a lot of hard work.
No.
206
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,720
HE CHUCKLES
207
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,200
I'm so glad I invited you
for Christmas. Ha!
208
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,360
You're planning on breaking
into Government HQ?
209
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,120
Where the head boy of this stinking
Empire rests his trotters up,
210
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,720
just to get a doll back?
Have you lost your onions?
211
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,040
You know what these Westminster
wallies are like.
212
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,160
They'll have coppers front door
and back.
213
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,960
You'll never do it.
214
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,440
I can try.
215
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,440
I might not be able to save
her shop,
216
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,560
but at least I can get her doll back
in time for Christmas.
217
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,920
I've got it all worked out.
218
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,920
Dodger, you've got a good heart.
219
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,480
Let this be the last time
you listen to it.
220
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,760
A good heart makes a bad thief.
221
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,600
All right, Dodger, tell me,
222
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,600
how in a month of moons are you
going to get into Number Ten?
223
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,720
Easy! I'm going to gather up
some kids and get them
224
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,360
to knock on the front door,
posing as carol singers.
225
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,680
While they sing
The 12 Days Of Christmas,
226
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,520
I'll break in around the back
and hunt for the doll.
227
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,520
When I've got it,
I'll wave from the window.
228
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,880
I'll be in and out
by the 12th day! Trust me!
229
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,760
Why is there a tree in the house?
This is a Christmas tree.
230
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,520
It's all the rage!
It's a European thing.
231
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,960
Is it? Ah, another daft idea
from the Europeans.
232
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:47,120
You decorate it with these, and then
you put presents underneath.
233
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,720
Why?
234
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,280
I don't know. It's European!
235
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,480
I've wrapped Clarissa's present
for you.
236
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,840
Write on the tag,
so she knows it's from you.
237
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,080
What should I write?
238
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,080
"Merry Christmas.
Love from Uncle William."
239
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,440
But I don't love her.
240
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,960
I don't love anyone.
241
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,800
Well, you love me.
242
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,960
Not much, no.
243
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,560
It's a medical malfunction.
244
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,840
Nanny dropped me on my head
when I was a child.
245
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,080
My head hit a boot scraper.
246
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,600
I lost my sense of smell...
247
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,480
..and my sense of love.
248
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,440
That explains a lot.
249
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,520
LOCK RELEASES
250
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,160
# On the first day of... #
251
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,160
Not now! Carol singers!
Ignore them!
252
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,600
Oh, no, Willy,
look, they're children!
253
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,080
Urchins from the gutter.
254
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,960
You should go and listen.
What?
255
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,160
It's the perfect opportunity
to show everyone
256
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,680
you're a man of the people, even if
you are only a man for yourself.
257
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,080
Really?
258
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,920
Yes. We'll get all the staff
on the doorstep.
259
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,600
Public love that sort of thing.
260
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,440
Yes, well, smile - a natural smile.
I'll see how I feel.
261
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,480
Right, let's meet the public.
262
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,000
# On the fourth day of Christmas
263
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,800
# My true love sent to me
264
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,800
# Four calling birds,
three French hens
265
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,480
# Two turtle doves
266
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,400
# And a partridge in a pear tree
267
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,520
# On the fifth day of Christmas
268
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,800
# My true love sent to me
269
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,200
# Five golden rings
270
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,240
# Four calling birds... #
271
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,840
FOOTSTEPS
272
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,360
Duff? Yes? What are you doing
tonight?
273
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:32,080
Nothing. Don't suppose you want
to come to a party at Number Ten?
274
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,120
Yeah! Have I got time to go home
and get changed?
275
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,240
No. No, just come as you are.
You look fine.
276
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,760
Oh, thank you very much, sir!
All right. I'll see you later.
277
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,520
Oh, sir... Listen,
you know it's Christmas?
278
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,880
Yeah? Well, I got you a present.
Really?
279
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,560
Yeah! I made it myself. For you.
280
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,000
Duff, thank you so much.
281
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,840
Do you like it?
282
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,920
It's...interesting. Mm!
283
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,240
You really captured my thumbs.
Thank you!
284
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,000
I spent months painting that.
285
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,200
Please don't be late.
286
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,920
# On the 19th day of Christmas
287
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,760
# My true love sent to me
288
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,640
# 19 eggs of noggin
289
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,120
# 18 weasels wiggling
290
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,400
# 17 parsnips peeling
291
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,000
# 16 nuns a-squatting
292
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,320
# 15 thieves a-thieving
293
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,200
# 14 pies a-piking
294
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,960
# 13 birds burping
295
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,640
# 12 drummers drumming
296
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,000
# 11 pipers piping... #
297
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,880
HE GROANS
298
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,600
# Seven swans a-swimming...
299
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,400
# Five golden
300
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:47,280
# Riiiiiiinnnnnngs
301
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,400
# Four calling birds
302
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,720
# Three French hens
303
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,320
# Two turtle doves
304
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:57,400
# And a partridge in a pear tree. #
305
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,440
Well, thank you, that's enough!
306
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,880
Here's a penny to share amongst you.
307
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,840
Merry Yule! What?!
308
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,440
Right, everyone, back to work!
309
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,880
Come on, chop chop.
310
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,320
Move, back to work! Now! Now!
311
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,800
Where's Dodger?
312
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,080
Where you been? A business
opportunity has presented itself.
313
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,240
We're going to do a goose rustle.
But we've got to act fast.
314
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,960
Goose rustle? Is that a dance?
Rule me out, I've got two left legs.
315
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,320
Don't be silly.
316
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,000
When I went down the market,
I bumped into Benny the ironmonger,
317
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,720
who had just bought
his Christmas goose.
318
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,440
Anyway, we got chatting.
319
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,160
Why's he got tar on his feet?
320
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,880
Because it walked from Norfolk.
He walked from Norfolk? On his own?
321
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,800
Nah, silly, with a drover.
322
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,840
A what? Like a goose shepherd.
323
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,320
A shepherd's coming into London.
324
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,120
You know Leadenhall Market? Where
they sell the Christmas poultry?
325
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,240
Yeah? Every Christmas, they walk
hundreds of them down from the farms
326
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,760
to the meat market. Last ones
are going to be walking through
327
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,680
Kingsland Turnpike this afternoon.
This afternoon?
328
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,840
See ya!
329
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,200
Well, this one drover is going
to be at Kingsland Turnpike
330
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,880
in 20 minutes! We're going to filch
his birds! How many geese are there?
331
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,600
200. That's a lot of beak.
332
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,200
One of us distracts the drover,
333
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,360
and the rest of us make off
with his geeses.
334
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,440
We lead them back here
and sell them half price!
335
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,600
It's easy money!
336
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,440
Yes! We can slaughter 'em
downstairs in the cellar.
337
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,040
No-one will them honking!
338
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,520
SHE LAUGHS
339
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,480
Ladies and gents, listen up!
340
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,480
Who wants to buy a big,
juicy goosey?
341
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,040
Only two shillings a bird!
342
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,280
I'll have a goose, please, Minnie!
343
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,640
Read all about it!
Man orders goose from bar!
344
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,320
Jon, you don't need to talk so loud.
345
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,840
You ain't selling papers now,
all right? I can't help it!
346
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,240
It's a curse!
347
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,120
Read all about it!
Man pays deposit for goose!
348
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,560
Drives my wife mad!
Especially when I go to toilet!!!
349
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,440
Or when me and the wife
are being romantic!!!
350
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,440
Right, round up the others.
I'll meet you at the turnpike!
351
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,080
Any more geeses?!
352
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,040
Come on! Juicy goose, juicy goose!
353
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,120
Yes, mate. How many can I get you?
354
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,120
How long's he going to be in there?!
355
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,200
He said it would be
a quick in and out.
356
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,920
I told you this would go wrong.
357
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,480
And all over some stupid doll!
I mean, what's even in it for us?
358
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,000
There you are! Quick! I need
you all down Kingsland Turnpike now!
359
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,480
We've got 200 geese to steal!
What?! Is this a wind up?
360
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,600
Nah, nah, nah. Don't do geese.
361
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,880
They're evil.
362
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,920
One time, a goose
pecked my brother's face off.
363
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,280
I'm out of here.
I've got buckles to burnish.
364
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,840
I'm not leaving Dodger in there.
365
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,200
No! You've got to come!
You're the farm girl!
366
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,080
You can probably talk goose.
Yeah, you go.
367
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,560
I'll stay here
and keep an eye on him.
368
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,960
Come on! We've got to go!
369
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,440
This is ridiculous!
370
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,760
Hello, Dodger.
371
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,240
Nice sleep?
372
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,200
You dislocated
your kneecap, but don't worry -
373
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,200
I popped it back in for you.
374
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,720
Why are you dressed like me?
375
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,720
I'm your number one fan,
376
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,360
and now I've caught you.
377
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,520
This is my fancy dress costume
for New Year's Eve.
378
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,040
Do you like it?
379
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,080
I have a fascination with criminals,
you see.
380
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,760
I'm going to be a policing person.
381
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,440
I know everything about you.
382
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,720
Penny for the toll?
383
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,320
So, the plan is, when the birds
get here, we're going to
384
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,720
walk 'em back to the pub.
385
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,920
I'll take out the geezer in the
turnpike, and you lot
386
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,280
can deal with the geese.
Catch you later.
387
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,920
Hello, mate. Fancy making yourself
scarce for half an hour?
388
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,520
There's a goose in it for you.
What do I have to do?
389
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,040
This way.
390
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,840
You're trying to rob us, aren't you?
391
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,640
WHISPERS: What do you want to steal?
I want to know everything.
392
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,200
And then I'm going to hand you in,
393
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,040
and that will show my uncle
that I can become a policing woman.
394
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,520
I don't know what you're talking...
395
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,280
You've got five minutes to tell me
why you're here, or I will scream!
396
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,440
What?! No, no, wait, wait,
397
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,960
Just wait. I've got a better idea.
398
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,560
You want to be a policeman,
right? Yes.
399
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,080
I'll teach you
the tricks of the trade.
400
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,680
Give you a peep under
the lid of a criminal nut.
401
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,760
So, when you're a copper, you'll
know what makes the bad'uns tick.
402
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,680
The best police officers
understand the darker side of life.
403
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,120
Exactly! I'll cut you in on this
Number Ten job, and you set me free.
404
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:13,200
It's a deal.
So, what are we stealing? A doll!
405
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,640
A doll? It's a long story.
406
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,600
I just need to get it back
and get out of here.
407
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,960
But there are police guards
on the front door. I know!
408
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,680
But there must be a secret exit,
you know? In case of invasion.
409
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,240
I'll ask. You look for the doll.
410
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,760
Are you sure you don't want
to assassinate my uncle instead?
411
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,640
No, no, no. Shame.
412
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,440
GEESE HONK
413
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,160
Aw, aren't they lovely?!
414
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,360
Do you think Fagin will let me
keep one as a pet? No!
415
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,920
Merry Christmas, sir.
Penny for the toll?
416
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,920
Here you go. Thank you.
417
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,440
Hold on. You need to fill in
the docket.
418
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,640
What docket?! It'll only take
a moment. Let's get inside.
419
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,960
Right, come on, let's go.
Every man, woman,
420
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,080
or goose has to fill in
one of these to cross the border.
421
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,840
You've got 200 geese,
so we'll do 200 forms.
422
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,960
But I got to get 'em to market!
423
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,640
And I can't write! You could use
your thumb print. What? 200 of them?
424
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,840
Blimey! I'm not going to have
much thumb left.
425
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,000
I'll just have a stump.
426
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,080
Rules are rules.
If you don't want to sign it,
427
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,520
I can't let you through, sir.
428
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,960
Oh, all right!
429
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,240
Come on, come on.
430
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,960
We've had some special nights
around the campfire, you know?
431
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,480
The brotherhood of the beast.
432
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,160
Geese are very sociable, you know?
433
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,320
They mate for life,
434
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,640
and they mourn like humans.
435
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,200
Here. You ever heard
a goose mourning?
436
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,520
I can't say I have.
Bet it's well sad, though.
437
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,600
Ah, it's heart-breaking.
It's like this...
438
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,480
Ahhhh!!!
439
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,880
Ahhhh!!!
440
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,360
Ahhhh!!!
441
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,800
Ahhhh!!!
442
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,920
Ahhhh!!!
443
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,440
Ahhhh!!!
444
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,040
Actually, do you know what, sir?
445
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,880
Sack it off,
it's a stupid rule anyway.
446
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,480
You get on your way.
Oh, bless you. Yeah.
447
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,120
You have yourself a Merry Christmas!
You too, sir!
448
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,320
HE LAUGHS
449
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,920
My geese! They've gone!
450
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,120
Joaney, the fat one! She was
promised to the Prime Minister!
451
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,200
You stay here for me,
I'll go and inform the police.
452
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,360
We'll get your geese back
in no time. Just stay there.
453
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,760
He'll have no bird for Christmas!
454
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:37,880
Joaney!
455
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,360
Where you gone?
456
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:40,720
Joaney!
457
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,320
Hello. Hello. Lovely to see you.
458
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,480
Merry Christmas.
459
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,160
All right, take your time.
460
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,600
Merry Christmas.
461
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:48,640
How are you?
462
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,240
INDISTINCT CHATTER
463
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,760
Ah, Ambassador.
464
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,080
This is my sister.
Good evening. Merry Christmas.
465
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,480
Who's that?
466
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,920
Right. Do I look smart?
467
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,480
Oh, you look splendid, sir. I'm
very proud of you, sir. Thank you.
468
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,080
I feel very underdressed myself.
469
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,880
You can go now.
470
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,360
I'll see you after.
471
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,840
After what? The dinner.
472
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,000
I thought I was coming for dinner.
No. You're on duty, mate.
473
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,000
Come on.
474
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,920
Here, now you are going to
guard the door.
475
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,960
All right? It's an important
job. I thought you'd like it.
476
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,880
Whatever you do, Duff,
don't leave your post.
477
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,640
Hello, sir! Hello.
478
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,600
I'm really hungry, though.
Don't leave your post.
479
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,960
KNOCK ON DOOR
480
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,120
You sure I can't...
481
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,840
Don't leave your post.
482
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,400
Sorry, erm, remind me who you are?
483
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,600
Oh, Perry Blathers.
484
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,400
Chief of Police.
485
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,520
Acting Chief of Police.
486
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,240
Did we say fancy dress?
487
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,520
Anyway, Judge Fang,
come and have a drink.
488
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,120
This is my fourth for today.
489
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,680
SHIVERING SIGH
490
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,520
Come this way,
and please take a seat.
491
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:13,160
My sister has been boring me
with the place sittings.
492
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,560
Can we swap? No!
493
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:18,960
Oi!
494
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,920
Hello, Barry.
495
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,400
Now, word on the street is you've
got geese on sale, half price.
496
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,400
My mum's partial
to a bit of roasted bird.
497
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,080
I promised her a big juicy one.
498
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,160
I cancelled my order
down my usual butchers
499
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,360
and I've come here to get one
cut price off you.
500
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,800
Oh, that's nice.
501
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,000
I've brought some pals with me
from south of the river.
502
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,360
They all want birdies, too.
They'll be here soon.
503
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,520
They're just coming back
from the market.
504
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,840
Oh, well, we'll wait.
505
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,480
What are they doing?
Why have they just stopped?
506
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,080
It's like trying to herd
200 lazy dogs.
507
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,960
This is the last of the seed.
508
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,600
Well, that's great, innit?
They won't budge without food.
509
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,000
It's nearly dark
and geese roost at night.
510
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,680
Well, what we going to do now?
511
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,600
Minnie's got customers
waiting at the pub.
512
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,040
Here, what's Barry Mattocks
doing in here?
513
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,680
He wants a bird.
514
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:17,960
If Polly still ain't back,
515
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,320
if she don't come back soon, we're
all getting stuffed this Christmas.
516
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,880
I'll get down Kingsland Turnpike
and I'll sort it out! Hurry up.
517
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,920
Come on, Bull's-eye!
518
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,080
Nog?
519
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,800
SHIVERING SIGH
520
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,880
So you're the Chief of Police?
Yes, ma'am. Acting Chief of Police.
521
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,880
And what are your duties
as Chief of Police?
522
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:43,960
Acting Chief of Police.
523
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:48,520
Well, catching the bad guys,
and keeping the streets clean.
524
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,040
What's for dinner?
525
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,040
Fowl in aspic, cod sherbets,
turtle mousse, snipe cutlets,
526
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,000
platter of peacock and pork sponge
and that's just for starters.
527
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,680
There are 16 courses in all. Blimey.
528
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,480
HE SPLUTTERS
529
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,680
Urgh!
530
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,360
What was that?
531
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,400
You've just regurgitated
£30 worth of the finest
532
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,280
Russian caviar into your napkin.
533
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:25,880
Sorry, Sir.
534
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,720
What... What is it, girl?
Why aren't you in bed?
535
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,920
I have a question.
536
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,560
What is your question, Clarissa?
537
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,160
Do you have a secret escape
here at Downing Street
538
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,320
in case criminals try to break in
and assassinate us?
539
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,800
Miss, no-one is breaking in
with me here.
540
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,800
I am the Chief of Police.
541
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,360
Acting Chief of Police.
542
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:47,400
Yes, well, we had a secret tunnel
that led
543
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,680
to the village of Wembley,
I remember, but it was bricked up.
544
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,320
Now we have a state-of-the-art
rope ladder.
545
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,960
INTERESTED MURMURS
546
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,400
And it's on the roof itself.
547
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:58,800
Thank you, Uncle! The police...
548
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,400
What is the matter with that girl?
549
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,560
Look, it's been an hour,
they're not budging.
550
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,680
Well, have no fear! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Meet Bull's-eye,
551
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,480
the best goose-herder on four legs,
ain't you, boy?
552
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,520
Go on, Bull's-eye! Go on!
553
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,440
DOG BARKS
554
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,440
Herd! Herd!
555
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,520
GEESE HONK
556
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:16,680
BONE CRUNCHES
557
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,440
Well, what would you do that for?
558
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,480
That did not go according to plan.
559
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,520
Ha-ha.
560
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:24,640
What we going to do now?
561
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,320
All the crims are waiting
for the geese!
562
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,480
Well...
563
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,480
DOG GROWLS
564
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,880
..my work here is done.
565
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,040
See you later.
566
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,000
Looks like you could do
with a bit of a buff.
567
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,920
Christmas ain't for everyone, is it?
No. It ain't.
568
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,360
I know how you feel.
569
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,720
Sometimes I say to myself, "Morgan,
what's the point of it all, eh?
570
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:39,840
"What's the point?"
571
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,640
They say it's the season
of goodwill.
572
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,600
Well, where's the goodwill
towards me, eh?
573
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,560
There's only bad will in my life...
574
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,720
..if you can call it a life.
575
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,800
My only friend is a pot of polish
and when that runs out...
576
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:54,960
..I'm all alone.
577
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,120
I'll die alone, too.
578
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,840
Do you know what?
You've made me feel so much better.
579
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,880
Oh!
580
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,640
GLASS BOTTLE FALLS
581
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,680
Oi.
582
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,200
I know you.
583
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,400
You're one of Fagin's gang,
I know you! No.
584
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,080
Come back here, I know you!
585
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,440
I can't ...
586
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,520
I can't leave my post!
587
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,160
WHISTLE BLARES
588
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,600
Aargh!
589
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:30,680
Right! I have a whole evening
of party games planned.
590
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,280
GUESTS: Oh!
591
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,200
First, charades!
592
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,920
What's that? You pick a piece
of paper from the hat,
593
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,880
and, without speaking,
you act it out.
594
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,240
Why? Because it's fun, of course!
595
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,080
Let's get this fun over with.
I'll start. Oh!
596
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,200
Right.
597
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,560
Oh, I'm not doing that one.
598
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,080
No! Oh, you're cheating!
599
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,480
I'm the Prime Minister.
I can do what I like!
600
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,440
Oh, right.
601
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,480
Head!
602
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,480
Oh, no. That's the mime for person.
603
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,200
Finger!
604
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,080
No! One word. One word.
605
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,200
Erm...
606
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,760
Oh, I... He's fighting, fighting.
607
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,280
He's fight... He's a fighter!
608
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,160
Ear lobe! No, that's the mime
for sounds like.
609
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,320
Sounds like an ear lobe!
610
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,440
Look. Bad boy. Top hat. Thief.
611
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,000
Dodger. Yes! Yes! Yes. Dodger.
612
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,000
Fagin! We've got an issue.
613
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,240
Dodger's stuck in Number Ten. Still?
614
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,840
Yeah, all right, I tried
everything I could to get him out
615
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,920
but it's a no-go.
You've left him in the lion's den?
616
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,680
I'll have to sort this out myself.
617
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,320
Newspaper seller
sees lamplighter into pub!
618
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,160
Oi, Larry, I need a favour.
619
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:46,680
I'm not paying you.
620
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,840
Terrible, terrible.
621
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,800
Have you seen much of this boy?
622
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,360
I have, Sir. Hmm?
623
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,640
Haven't managed to capture him yet.
624
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,400
Hmm?
625
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,440
No, sir.
626
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,320
I've been itching to hang Dodger
for over a year now.
627
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:09,600
I always carry a piece of rope with
me in case he happens to be around.
628
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,800
How very festive.
629
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:12,840
Well, don't worry...
630
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,240
..I'll sniff him out.
631
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:20,360
Good. The boy is a carbuncle
on the rump of the British Empire.
632
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,960
The sooner he swings, the better!
Hear hear. Merry Christmas!
633
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,320
GUESTS: Merry Christmas!
634
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,040
Now, my turn!
635
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,240
Oh, this is a good one!
You're never going to guess.
636
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,280
Dick Turpin?
637
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,920
Minnie, what's with the goose?
I've been waiting here two hours!
638
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,160
This is going to ruin my mum's
Christmas! You're having a laugh!
639
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:46,880
He'll be here any minute!
Honestly, you have my word! Please!
640
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,840
The geese are here! They'll be ready
and plucked in an hour!
641
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:50,880
PEOPLE CHEER
642
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,800
There's been a slight hitch.
What do you mean?
643
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,160
Bill let Bull's-eye loose
and a goose dog he ain't.
644
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:56,520
What?
645
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,200
How many are left?
646
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,520
Is that it?
647
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,520
What am I supposed to do
with one goose?
648
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:08,840
I've got Britain's worst criminals
upstairs waiting for their meat!
649
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,000
Let's just deal
with Barry Mattocks first.
650
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,520
The rest we can sort out later.
651
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,840
Right, who's going to
murder this bird?
652
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:16,920
Murder what bird?
653
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,560
GOOSE CROAKS
654
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,080
MERRIMENT INSIDE
655
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,760
So, I think it's rather late.
I think it's time we all went home.
656
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:28,520
No, no, wait! Wait!
We haven't played hunt the thimble!
657
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,200
I asked cook to hide a thimble
somewhere in the house,
658
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,800
and the first one
to find it gets a prize!
659
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,400
No, no, no, we've all
drunk and eaten too much!
660
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,320
And a walk will do you good.
661
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,240
So, off into the fresh air,
we'll all take our hats... Oh.
662
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,720
Merry Christmas. Goodbye.
Goodbye, thank you.
663
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:46,080
Ha!
664
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,560
Thank you, bye.
665
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,560
Right, so, what is the prize?
666
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,360
A bottle of finest Montrachet.
667
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,960
Oh, oh, in that case I'll definitely
stay and play.
668
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,160
Mr Blathers,
you must stay and play, too.
669
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:02,000
See if your Acting Chief of Police
nose can sniff out the thimble.
670
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,320
I'd love to. That settles it!
671
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,680
There are over 100
rooms in Number Ten
672
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,800
and it could be in any one of them!
SHE LAUGHS
673
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,240
Let's see who can find it
the fastest! William!
674
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,720
All right. Coming.
675
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,200
Coming! I'm...coming.
676
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,440
Well, someone has to do it.
677
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,960
Can't we just convince it to throw
itself off a cliff or something?
678
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,160
It'll fly. Oh, yeah.
679
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,800
I'll end it.
680
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,600
Stand back, stand back.
681
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,520
Sorry, mate.
682
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,720
GOOSE HONKS
683
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,080
Oh, my!
684
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,960
Just get on with it, Bill.
685
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,160
LOUD EXHALATIONS
686
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,440
I can't do it!
687
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,840
Oh! OK.
688
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,360
Right, I'll show you lot
how it's done.
689
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,920
Don't look it in the eye.
690
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,000
No, I looked it in the eye!
691
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,040
No, no, no, no.
692
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,200
GOOSE HONKS
693
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,600
Let's hunt! It could be anywhere!
694
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,440
In a cupboard, under the bed.
just search everywhere!
695
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,960
I know! One of the maid's bedrooms!
696
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,280
Oh, the wine cellar!
697
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:18,640
What about the study?
698
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,640
The broom cupboard.
699
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:21,800
The library.
700
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,200
The kitchen!
701
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,840
Oh! It's you! WHISPERS:
Have you found the doll yet?
702
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,120
No! I've looked everywhere.
703
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,880
No, I haven't found it yet!
I'm still looking.
704
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,600
What are you doing in my bedroom?
705
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:42,840
How dare you come in here?
706
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,640
I'm warning you, young lady.
707
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:47,920
One more wrong step
708
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,960
and I'll have you sent
to a convent for wayward girls.
709
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,680
One with itchy uniforms
710
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,800
and the nastiest of nuns.
711
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:58,840
You understand me?
712
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,160
Yes, Uncle.
713
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:07,640
HE SNIFFS
714
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:08,680
Hmm.
715
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,800
Place is riddled with vermin.
716
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,320
HE SNIFFS
717
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,320
Urgh.
718
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,440
CLOCK CHIMES
719
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,200
I know what we do. We draw lots.
720
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,280
Whoever gets the short pick
has to terminate the poultry.
721
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,880
GOOSE HONKS
722
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,880
Oh!
723
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,800
Just do it. Just do it,
just do it quickly!
724
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,080
Tom, go on. Come on.
725
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,440
Hurry up! It's looking at me!
726
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:39,720
Oh! Let me see.
727
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,600
Ah! Ha-ha!
728
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,120
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
729
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,440
GASPS
730
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,440
Ooh.
731
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,720
Just shut your eyes
and make it quick.
732
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,760
Is there a goose heaven?
733
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:11,160
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's massive.
It's huge. It's well nice.
734
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,480
Best of luck, love.
735
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:15,640
Good luck.
736
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,560
I'm sorry.
737
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,920
I found it! I found the thimble!
738
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,160
Marvellous!
739
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,840
Oh, dear. William, where is your
water closet? Down there. Oh...
740
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,840
We really must go, Emily...
741
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,800
Yes, we're going to midnight mass
at Westminster? Are you coming?
742
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,800
No. Yes.
Yes. Oh, good.
743
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,840
Clarissa?
744
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,640
Midnight mass, come on!
745
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,720
Midnight mass? That's it! Dodger.
746
00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:46,200
This is your chance,
we're going to midnight mass!
747
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,240
You have time to get
the doll and get out.
748
00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:52,480
There's an emergency rope ladder
on the roof. Good luck.
749
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,280
What'd you have for dinner?
It was nice. Don't leave your post.
750
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,760
Lamplighter!
751
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:35,960
Oh.
752
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,240
Good job you're here.
It just went out, like that!
753
00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:39,560
Well, that's funny innit?
754
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,640
What a nightmare.
Gas supply must have been cut off.
755
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,600
Must be a dead mouse
in the pipe or something.
756
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,840
I'll have to go in
and have a look at the valve.
757
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,160
Well, well.
758
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,800
If it isn't London's
most wanted thief.
759
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,520
Oh, I don't think I could
let you in, sir.
760
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,360
That's the Prime Minister's house,
you see.
761
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,120
Yeah, I know it is.
And if I don't go in now,
762
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,080
he's not going to have any gas on
Christmas Day.
763
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,640
Nobody works tomorrow, see?
764
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,320
I may have eaten my own body weight
in beef,
765
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:19,200
but I fancy I can still
catch a criminal.
766
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,640
Here.
767
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,280
Papers, Gas Board.
768
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,960
Oh, well, thanks for coming
on Christmas Eve. You're welcome.
769
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,880
Good timing. Yeah, yeah, I know.
I was just passing, actually.
770
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,240
We're very lucky.
771
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,040
Nice man.
772
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,000
But, you see, for me it's personal.
773
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,760
This is for Charles Rowan.
774
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,840
Oh, no, there's no escape
for you this time, Dodger.
775
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,160
Police are just outside.
776
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,920
Thief!
777
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,200
Dodger!
778
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,320
Just listen to me!
I'm not stealing anything.
779
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,480
I just need to return something.
Come in!
780
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,320
WHISTLE BLOWS
781
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,320
It's Dodger!
782
00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:00,200
Intruder! I can't leave my post!
783
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:04,200
Do you know I studied kung fu
when I was assistant administrator
784
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,360
in the Canton?
785
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,040
So, don't cross me.
786
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,600
WHISTLE BLOWS
787
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:16,320
That would be a very, very,
foolish thing to do.
788
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,240
HEAVY THUD
789
00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:20,800
Fagin, what you doing here?
790
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,560
I've been looking for you, you
Herbert! I've been worried silly.
791
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,360
Have you got the doll?
Nah, I think it's somewhere here.
792
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,160
Oh, these books...!
793
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,120
I've got it. I've got it!
794
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,760
Right, come on, we got to get out.
795
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,760
There's a rope ladder on the roof.
Well, come on!
796
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,280
Oh, wait, my leg!
797
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,720
It's Dodger! He's in the house!
798
00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:49,680
What are you standing there for,
man?! Silly little policeman!
799
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,160
I can't leave my post, miss!
I can't leave my post!
800
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,720
HE BLOWS WHISTLE
801
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:56,040
Where's the rope?
Top of the house, of course!
802
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,320
Sir! What happened?
803
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,480
Dodger...in the house...
804
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,520
The roof's out there.
Right, hold that.
805
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,840
Stop him! Get him now!
806
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:12,800
Dodger!
807
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,000
Let me go in.
It's my niece's bedroom!
808
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,400
Stop where you are!
809
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,960
Dodger, you are under arrest.
810
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,800
Step back and turn around!
811
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,520
Clarissa!
812
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,480
What are you doing, girl?
813
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,760
I was just trying on
my fancy dress costume.
814
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,600
Out of my way!
815
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,360
Stop where you are, you...!
816
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,080
How dare you?!
817
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,560
How dare you break into my house?!
818
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,280
Found it!
819
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,960
Get back here now!
820
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,200
How dare you defecate
on my Christmas!
821
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,680
Give me that doll!
822
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,520
No! It's not yours!
823
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,200
Come on, Dodge!
824
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,160
Right!
825
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,640
I've got the rope!
826
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:57,960
Oh...
827
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,600
Dodge, come on! Come on!
828
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,160
William, let him go!
829
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,720
No!
830
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,880
This won't help your popularity!
831
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,840
If he plummets, you plummet.
832
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:11,920
Humbug!
833
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:14,480
No!
834
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,040
PORCELAIN SMASHES
835
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,360
We want him alive,
Prime Minister. Not dead!
836
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,360
Listen to me. I'm Chief of Police!
837
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,760
ACTING Chief of Police. Now, quiet!
838
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,640
Put the knife down, William!
839
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,080
William!
840
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,880
Prime Minister!
841
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,120
Yes! Ah...!
842
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,600
Got him.
843
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,520
Dodger?
844
00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:43,440
DODGER GROANS
845
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,040
You all right, son?
846
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,080
You all right?
847
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,520
Yeah...
848
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,360
FAGIN LAUGHS
849
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,200
I won't be voting for you
in the next election!
850
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,440
Sayonara!
851
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,240
Come on, let's go.
852
00:39:58,240 --> 00:39:59,680
You silly man!
853
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,600
THEY CHANT: Where's my goose?
Where's my goose?
854
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,200
Where's my goose?
855
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,880
I can't wait any longer!
856
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,520
I want my goose!
857
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,880
It needs a good 12 hours on the spit
for the juices to run clear!
858
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,800
I don't want an underdone bird!
859
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,960
Barry! You can't go down there,
Barry! No!
860
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,040
Where's my goose!
861
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,880
Where is it?
862
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,520
Where's my goose?
863
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,080
It flew away.
864
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,280
Where?
865
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,000
Down the well.
866
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,360
I'm going to get that goose
if it kills me...
867
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,280
I'm comin' to get ya!
868
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:37,040
PLUNGING SPLASH
869
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:38,600
Barry?
870
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,720
Barry, Barry!
871
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:41,200
Are you all right?
872
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,600
Barry! What?
873
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,600
Is the goose down there? No!
874
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,280
Well, keep looking!
875
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,440
What's the damage?
876
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,440
It's not good.
877
00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:10,160
Fagin...
878
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,000
That's pucker.
879
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,840
THEY LAUGH
880
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,680
You wouldn't think to look at me
now, but I weren't always poor.
881
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,880
I was born with a silver spoon
in me mouth.
882
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,960
So, that's why he told her
never to sell it!
883
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,200
FAGIN CHUCKLES WHEEZILY
884
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,200
Right, its nearly midnight.
We need to get it back to her.
885
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,760
What?
886
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,240
We need to get it back to her.
887
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,400
What are you talking about?
888
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,160
We keep it. What?
889
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,280
Well, you promised Bertha you'd get
her doll back. You delivered.
890
00:41:56,280 --> 00:42:00,120
She's got no idea it's got
a gem in the crust of its barnet.
891
00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:02,480
Hey.
892
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,680
This is life-changing, Dodger.
893
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,520
No.
894
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,280
We don't steal from the poor.
895
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:12,640
Remember?
896
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,720
Feel that.
897
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,600
That's never being hungry
ever again.
898
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,880
That's never walking barefoot
in the wind.
899
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:28,680
That is food in your belly
and a fire in the grate.
900
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,320
That is custard with every meal.
901
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,400
For you, for me.
902
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,960
For everyone.
903
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:39,520
We'll cut Bertha in. She can have a
couple of bob and a cheese sandwich.
904
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,240
It's not ours.
905
00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:48,400
It's hers.
906
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,880
And we're taking it back to her.
907
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,320
Now.
908
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,560
BELL CHIMES
909
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:09,520
Well, looks like it might be
the dosshouse for us tonight, love.
910
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,120
Hand em' over.
911
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,960
Stop!
912
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,040
Don't touch those keys.
913
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,000
Dodge?
914
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,560
Oh, you got me doll!
915
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,600
Oh, you broke it.
916
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,080
Look what was inside
917
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,240
all along.
918
00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:33,680
Happy Christmas, Bertha.
919
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,400
Oh, Dodge!
920
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,840
Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you!
921
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,920
BERTHA LAUGHS HAPPILY
922
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:43,600
I'm staying.
923
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,320
All right, we're sweet.
924
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,680
Come on, Reg.
925
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,400
Oh!
926
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,080
Read all about it!
927
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,280
Dodger breaks into
10 Downing Street!
928
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,680
Ruins Prime Minister's Christmas!
929
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,680
Bertha sent us everything
from the shop.
930
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,000
I've got skittles...
931
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,560
Erm, sponge bunnies.
932
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,200
Wooden wotsits, hobbytops,
933
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,920
yard darts, spinning tops,
934
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,520
knick-knacks, tick tacks,
935
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,000
paddy whacks, and
936
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,760
a clockwork pig.
937
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,000
KNOCK AT DOOR
938
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,960
Who's that? I don't know.
939
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,440
Answer it.
940
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,240
Any room at the inn?
941
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:44,280
It'll cost ya.
942
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,960
Nah! Come in, mate!
943
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,560
THEY CHEER
944
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:51,920
You brought a goose?
945
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,200
Nah. I ain't got enough pennies
for that, I'm afraid.
946
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:55,720
That's my seat.
947
00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,440
It's his now.
948
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,400
Sling your hook.
949
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,000
LIVELY CHATTER
950
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,880
Oh, come on!
951
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:06,560
Wahey!
952
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:08,520
Merry Christmas!
953
00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:12,120
Anyone want a Christmas buff?!
954
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,160
THEY LAUGH
955
00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:21,720
GOOSE HONKS
956
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:24,800
Joaney!
957
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,760
Come on. Let's go home
for Christmas, eh?
958
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,160
JOANEY HONKS
959
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:56,840
It's Christmas!
110119
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