All language subtitles for King of the Hill s04e07 Happy Hanks Giving.eng

[THEME SONG]

[BILL EXCLAIMS HAPPILY]

Another Thanksgiving with
Hank Hill's famous smoked turkey.

[MOANS]

What can I bring this year, Hank?
Straws?

[SIGHS]
Well, Bill, we're...

And by "we" I mean me,
my family, and this turkey,

we're all going to Montana
for Thanksgiving.

[EXCLAIMS DISAPPOINTEDLY]

Yeah. See, Peggy and her mom
don't always get along,

and now Mother Platter's
starting to take it out on propane.

She says it can't get the job done
when it comes to smoking turkey.

Well, I'm not gonna let that go.

So, for Peggy's sake,
I gotta prove her mom wrong.

Now, this doesn't leave the alley,

but Peggy's parents wanted to take us
to a restaurant for Thanksgiving.

But don't worry.

I convinced them to have the meal
at their house,

and I'm going with my standard plan:

Cowboys game, dinner at 5:00,

and serve dessert in
time for Home Alone.

They broke into the wrong kid's house.

Hey, man, you got me thinking
about dang old Mom Boomhauer, man.

I think I'll fly out to Miami Beach, man.

Talk about a blind date
with a neighbor, man.

Great, great, great, great
granddaughter, man. She's 40.

So you're leaving, too.

I hate Thanksgiving.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Let's go, Bobby. It's almost 10:00.

With the Dallas traffic,
we won't get to the airport till noon,

and that flight leaves at 4:00
with or without us.

[BOBBY SNIFFS]

The turkey smells good.

Can I hold it on my lap
to sniff for the ride?

The turkey rides up front with me,
away from the rear defroster.

I just talked to your grandma,
and I went out on a limb

and promised
moistness and smokiness.

PEGGY:
My mother called?

I wanted to tell her
that I'm gonna bake my Brown Betty.

Yeah, she said not to bother.

She'll just pick up some Sara Lee.

Oh, sure. But if my brother were making
Brown Betty,

she'd freaking lick the bowl.

What a coincidence, Hank.

I have to go to the
Dallas-Fort Worth airport

to pick up my uncle
who's coming in for Thanksgiving.

What time's his flight?

What time's your flight?

- 4:00.
- 4:00.

I can drive you to the airport.

Okay. I guess that'll save me some time.
Which uncle is it?

Bill.

So you're named after him?

I said Stan.

Okay, Uncle Hank, I'm all ready.

My first time seeing Daddy

since Mama second-degree
assaulted him with a fork.

[EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY]

[GIGGLING]
This is so exciting.

Boy, it sure is.

Now, I like to keep all our airline tickets
in the travel caddy.

Luanne, if you don't mind...

Hank, could I please talk to you
for a minute?

Luanne does not have a ticket.

You were supposed to buy tickets
for the family.

That's right. I bought tickets
for all three members of the Hill family.

Hank Hill, Peggy Hill and Bobby Hill.
The Hills.

What is the matter with you?

As far as Luanne knows, you love her,

and you consider her
a part of this family.

Do not let her know
that you neglected to buy her a ticket.

Well, I think she's gonna find out
when we leave her here.

No, sir. You will buy Luanne a ticket
at the airport.

And it is not gonna be easy,
because the day before Thanksgiving is,

in my opinion, one of the
busiest travel days of the year.

[CARS HONKING NOISILY]

Okay, Bill. That zone's for
loading and unloading only.

We can take it from here.

Well, then it's off to Uncle Stu.

You said Stan.

[SCOFFS]
Okay, Hank, you win. Stan it is.

[SIGHS DEJECTEDLY]

Did you pack your own bags and
have they been in your sight at all times?

Well, I had to set them on the curb
when I unloaded them from the trunk.

But they were in your sight.

No, I had my back turned.

But just for a moment.

Well, I'd say it was more like a minute
than a moment.

For God's sake,
just say they were in your sight.

Peggy, the man is an official
of the United States airlines.

I'd be committing perjury.

It's clean.

GUARD:
Just the two bags, then?

Yup. And this tank of propane.

Oh, man!

Don't worry.
That was in my sight the entire time.

They let that woman bring
an oxygen tank on the plane.

[LUANNE WHOOPS EXCITEDLY]

I get to use my junior-college ID.

That's me in the picture.

I got the giggles
'cause there were these four girls,

and they...

[LUANNE LAUGHING]

[HANK CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Well, now we've all got the giggles.

You better sit down over there. Yeah.

Any seats left to Billings?

Yes, sir. That'll be $719.

What? I paid $250 for my ticket.

That's the price I want.

Sir, you bought your ticket
six months ago.

You are buying Miss Platter's ticket
on the day of travel.

All right, listen.
Miss Platter is traveling to Montana

to see her father for Thanksgiving.

She hasn't seen him in years.

Doesn't that mean anything
to your airline?

[SIGHS]

I'm gonna write a personal check,

and in the memo line
I am writing "unfair."

[LIGHT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

How long are you gonna be in Arizona,
Mr. Redcorn?

Just for the Thanksgiving weekend.

Do your people
even celebrate Thanksgiving?

We did, once.

Sug', maybe I should see John Redcorn
to the gate,

make sure he gets off all right.

Good idea, sweetheart.

Joseph and I will go find a broken meter
to park the bug-abago.

Uncle Hank, a man just asked me
if I wanted to join the Mile High Club.

Could you get me an application?

Well, I would think they would have them
on the plane, Luanne.

KAHN:
Hey, Hank!

Look, Minh, it's the early birds.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, Hank,
our flight same time as yours.

I saw you leave house at 10:00 a.m.

We leave five hours later.
You still waiting, you dumb redneck.

Yeah, okay. Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah. You, too.

Okay, Mother Platter,
we're all set to board here,

so hope you're ready to
eat some smoked turkey

with humble pie for dessert.

No, Peggy's still planning
to make a Brown Betty.

Yeah, I was just...

Never mind.

Good afternoon,
passengers traveling to Billings.

We regret to inform you that the bad
weather has forced a delay of your flight.

- What?
- But my daddy's on a day pass.

Excuse me, sir. Hank Hill.

I would like to volunteer my services
in any way necessary

to help get this plane off the ground,
so put me to work.

Sir, crowding me
will not get you out any faster.

It's sleeting out there
and the runways are like skating rinks.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[LUANNE GASPS]

Uncle Hank,
they can't delay Thanksgiving, can they?

They just did.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES]

No, Mother Platter,
I'm not calling from the plane.

Those phones are
only for emergencies.

We just have a small delay.

Hank, I wanna make sure
my mom has all the ingredients

for my Brown Betty.

Which I have made every year from 1976
until I die, inclusive.

I will need margarine and not butter.

- MOTHER PLATTER: Is that Peggy?
- HANK: Yeah.

Tell her we use butter in this house.

HANK:
Okay.

She got butter, didn't she?

[CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO]

[TIMER DINGS]

ANNOUNCER [ON RADIO]:
You said it, Bing.

The weather outside is frightful.

If you're flying out DFW, bad news.

All flights are delayed.

[CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY]

[PASSENGERS CLAMORING]

They should let the man do his job.

Dad, I know you said to try,
but I can't eat this.

It's salad.

Hank, the boy needs protein
or he'll pass out.

Now, break open that box.

Thanksgiving will go on
with a one-legged turkey.

One-legged turkey? I'm not even gonna
dignify that with a response.

Other than, "Shame on you."

CONNIE:
Hey, Bobby.

Connie. How'd you get
that teriyaki-beef bowl so fast?

My dad.

Here you go, ma'am.

I'm district manager, pitching in.
Crazy day, huh?

[LAUGHS]

Go to the front of the line.

Mr. Souphanousinphone
will give you some food.

Hold up, Bobby.
That ain't right. We're not animals.

We'll wait in line like everybody else.

Hank, the ability
to cut ahead in line

is what separates us
from the animals.

Okay, people, personal insults
and criticisms directed toward me

will not get your plane out any faster.

In a few minutes we will begin--

MAN:
You're an ass!

We will begin de-icing your plane
for take-off.

Thank you, sir.

Ruthann, I was just in the bathroom
next to the pilot.

He told me they don't have
enough workers to de-ice their planes.

But TWA does,
and they're honoring all tickets.

[PEGGY SPEAKING SPANISH]

Yes, do you know
where I can catch the TWA flight?

I think it's gate cincuenta y ocho.

Fifty-eight.

Come on, Hank.
You heard the man.

We have to go to
gate cincuenta y ocho. Andale!

That was nothing but third-hand gossip.
You're acting like you're drunk.

[GASPS]

Look, Bobby, Choc Full of Chips
just opened a second register.

Oh, God!

Hank! Bobby got away.

- What?
- Get him! Go get him!

Bobby! What are you...

[FAST-PACED INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

What's the matter with you?

[PANTING]

Cookies.

Hank, did you hear
that announcement?

The gate agent just said
we're supposed to go to the TWA flight.

What? All right.
Let me go ask him and--

No, there is no time.
The plane leaves in 10 minutes.

Joseph, here's a roll
of quarter-sized aluminum slugs.

Go knock yourself out
at the video arcade.

Shackelford.
Admiral Rusty Shackelford.

I'll keep my coat.

Admiral, admiral.

Lady admiral, admiral.

[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm sorry, admiral. There's no smoking
in the terminal building.

You're not sorry,
and I'm not an admiral.

For the third time, sir,
we don't even fly to Montana.

Well, you check it again.
My wife heard an official announcement.

Tell her, Peggy.

All right, Peggy,
you lied to me about the announcement.

- That's strike one.
- What?

Don't start with that baseball.

That's two.

What happens when he gets to three?

He doesn't know.

Where's everybody going?
Did we miss the flight?

No. It's been canceled
till tomorrow morning.

Canceled? Now you listen to me.

I know my rights as a passenger,
and you--

Attention, remaining passengers.

We are holding a block of rooms
at the Econosuites.

A shuttle van is waiting
to take you there.

Nope. There are too many people
and not enough seats.

Do the math, Hank.

Well, if this van fills up,
they'll send a second one.

Hank Rutherford Hill,
is "naive" your middle name?

There is no second van, and there will
never be enough rooms at the hotel.

Hey, yo, man! Hank!
Looks like a dang old layover, man.

Looks like I'm going to wind up
something special on the ground, man.

You know what I'm saying?

The hotel vans are over here.
Where is he going?

Hank, we are fighting a war here
called "Thanksgiving at the Airport."

Now, we can either stand here
and take it like the French,

or we can beat the rest of these chumps
to the hotel. Now, come on.

BILL:
Hank, Peggy!

[GROANS]

Did you hear?
The whole airport's shut down.

We're stuck here all night.

Bill, get the car.

Mr. Dauterive,
did your uncle's flight get in okay?

Yeah, sure.

So can we meet him?

No. He's back in Arlen.

Then why are you here?

We had a fight. He bit me.

Bill, I still don't understand
why you're actually here.

Do you want a ride or not?

Bill, keep your eyes on the road.

No, don't worry, Peggy.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Strike two-and-a-half.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Get the hell out of there.
There's no smoking in the airport.

HANK: Well, that was
a wonderful waste of time.

[YELLS]

DALE:
Admiral in distress!

Now, we wanna be
on the first flight tomorrow morning.

So I'm gonna set my
watch alarm for 5:30.

ANNOUNCER [ON SPEAKER]:
Paging passenger Tom Gannoway.

Please pick up
the nearest white courtesy phone.

Peggy, I think that's Tom Gannoway.

All right. Good night, everybody.

[LIGHT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[WATCH ALARM BEEPING]

ANNOUNCER [ON SPEAKER]:
Good morning, and Happy Thanksgiving.

Flight 211 to Billings is now boarding.

We know it's been a difficult night,
but in appreciation of your patience,

your headsets will be free.

Miss Platter,
we've oversold the coach section.

Since you're traveling
on a full-fare coach ticket,

we're going to bump you up
to first class.

[GIGGLES EXCITEDLY]

KAHN:
Good morning, Hills.

Yes, I use Gold Club miles
to upgrade to honeymoon suite.

Best rest of my life.

Yeah? Well, I was too excited to sleep,
I tell you what.

I'm going to visit my in-laws.

OFFICER: I'm sorry, sir.
You'll have to check that.

This isn't fair.
It meets the cubic feet requirement.

It's just oddly shaped.

For God's sake, Hank.
There's no time. Just check it.

STEWARDESS: Please hurry up
and take your seats.

We only have a small break
in the weather to take off.

Well, they're still loading the luggage.
Looks like a good crew.

Boy, that big gal can really toss a bag.
Look at her.

That curtain over there.
What's it for?

It separates first class from coach.

I'd like that closed.

There's my turkey box.

[HANK CHUCKLES]

HANK: Those dogs sure know
a good smoked turkey when they smell it.

MAN:
Let's get out of here!

[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

They're not gonna forget my turkey,
are they?

Peggy, get the stewardess.

No, forget it.
Here comes somebody.

What? What in the heck is he doing?

My God, Hank!
That's the bomb squad.

There's a bomb?

No, it's not a bomb.
It's a turkey.

It's a smoked turkey, you idiot.

Get away from there. Stop that!

You there.

Please, God, no!

[EXPLOSION]

[GAGGING]

STEWARDESS: I'm sorry,
but the bad weather has moved back in,

and we've lost our window for take-off.

You blew up the wrong man's turkey.
Now get me to Montana.

I've got 10 hours to buy
and smoke a bird.

Well, DFW is completely shut down.

[EXCLAIMS]

Love Field is getting flights out.

There's one to Montana
that leaves in an hour.

Love Field is clear across town.

The airport bus is leaving in five minutes.

It's your only chance.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Did you hear something?
What'd he say?

Nothing. Looks like we're gonna
be here a while.

Dang airlines, you know.

Yeah.

Get your bags, start walking.
Bobby, Luanne, follow me.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

- Hank, where are we going? What the--
- Just walk.

Walk slowly. Walk.

Run!

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

Hank, they are jammed
butt to gut in there. There's no room.

You said this was war, right?

Well, I'm tired of fighting fair.

We're gonna do it your way, Peggy,
the dirty way.

Hold on. I got four more.

You can try.

HANK:
Bobby, I need an inch.

[GROANS]

Montana, here we come.

[TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[MELANCHOLY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Wait. Stop the bus.

[BRAKES SCREECHING]

Y'all have a happy Thanksgiving.

No, it was not Brown Betty.
No, it was bread.

When I gave up my place on that bus,

I assumed the food court
would be open.

Well, I told my mother
we weren't gonna make it,

and she was disappointed.

And Luanne, honey, I'm sorry,
but your father...

Your father had to
go back to the oil rig.

There were no flight
delays in Montana.

The temperature's been
in the mid-seventies.

[LUANNE CRYING]

[SNIFFING]
They went swimming.

Hey, Boomhauer, I'm sorry
you didn't get to see your mother.

You wanna talk about sorry, man.

That dang old stewardess,
dang old born again,

talking about a
dang old cold shower.

Four hours stuck on the tarmac.

I look out window, what do I see?

A frozen gribble.

The only thing that kept me going
was my will to smoke again,

and the ashtrays
from an Alitalia flight.

JOHN:
There you are, Nancy.

I've been searching
all over the airport for you.

Dale, I searched for you as well.

[SNIFFING] This is
the worst Thanksgiving ever.

[MELANCHOLY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Come on, everybody.
We've all got a lot to be thankful about.

It doesn't matter if we're in Montana
or California or Miami.

The important thing is we're all together.

So let's have our Thanksgiving dinner.

Now, I've got a stick of gum.

I was saving it for the airplane,
you know, to pop my ears.

I have some leftover pizza
from Papa Capone's.

Yo, man,
I got them dang old airplane nuts, man.

Dang old bag, man.
That's about all I got.

I have a can of yams.

BILL: I got some turkey
and all the trimmings.

Actually, I don't have anything.

I don't even have an Uncle Stan.
I made him up.

Yeah, I kind of figured that.

Very sad.

I guess cold pizza's
better than nothing.

It doesn't have to be cold.

[SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

HANK:
Okay.

As is tradition,
I will now carve the Thanksgiving pizza.

PEGGY:
Wait a second.

With those sugar packets,
these pats of margarine,

some leftover pizza crust,

and that propane grill,
I can jerry bake us up a Brown Betty.

HANK: Well, you do make
the best Brown Betty--

PEGGY:
Yes, I do.

[SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
CONTINUES]

[THEME SONG]

BILL:
I hate Thanksgiving.

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