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1
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,170
[Theme song]
2
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,023
[Buck slurping]
3
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,692
You want potatoes with that, Buck?
4
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:36,880
You know I do, Miss Fybel.
Scattered, smothered and covered.
5
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,133
You know I do, Miss Fybel.
Scattered, smothered and covered.
6
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,603
Hank will have the same.
7
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,835
Actually, I prefer my potatoes
diced and chunked--
8
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,342
I already ordered for you.
9
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:48,244
Now listen up. Chamber of Commerce
is putting together a coed softball league.
10
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,442
I want you to play and be head coach.
11
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,680
Head coach? Like Tom Landry?
12
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,619
I'm gonna need a moment here, sir.
13
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,187
[Slurping]
14
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,622
THATHERTON: What you got, Buck?
Vanilla milkshake?
15
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,628
Doctor wants you to put on
another 40 pounds?
16
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,725
Get out of here, That her ton.
17
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,231
Where are my manners?
18
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,736
Allow me to introduce the newest
dispatcher at That her ton Fuels...
19
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,601
Mrs. Rita Bevacqua.
20
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,800
Bevacqua? Is that any relation...
21
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,538
to former Texas Rangers
third baseman, Kurt Bevacqua?
22
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,477
Kurt's my husband by marriage.
23
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:24,279
The Chamber of Commerce rule book says
immediate family is eligible to play.
24
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:28,582
Husband falls under the category
of immediate family, don't it, boys?
25
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,281
[Ominous instrumental music]
26
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,414
That her ton!
27
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:36,396
I hope my picture
isn't at the edge of the page.
28
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,430
Last year it just said, "Connie Soup."
29
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:42,969
Yeah, but I could still tell it was you,
even without the "ha no us in phone.�
30
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:46,529
-You're so sweet, Bobby.
-I can't help it.
31
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:50,007
DOOLEY: You guys are a couple.
32
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,243
Can you believe
they put that picture in there?
33
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:57,113
Yeah. Can you believe it?
34
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,717
[Players chattering]
35
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,213
[Peggy grunting]
36
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,081
[Players cheering]
37
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,422
PEGGY: Hank, what are you doing here?
38
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,122
Did Bobby do something to his eye?
39
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:14,599
No, Strickland Propane
is gonna have a softball team...
40
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,328
and I was named the head coach.
41
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,234
Congratulations, Hank.
42
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,364
My game went well.
Thank you so much for asking.
43
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,241
Here's the best part. It's a coed league
with a woman-must-pitch rule.
44
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,245
So you'll be pitching for Team Strickland.
45
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,578
But I already pitch for a team, Hank.
The Lady Giants.
46
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:34,052
But this is a chance to play
in a serious league against men.
47
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,852
See how you do against batters who can
really put some aluminum into the ball.
48
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,653
I am in a serious league, Hank.
49
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,626
Of course,
you wouldn't know how serious...
50
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,696
because you've never come
to one of my games.
51
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:47,665
Peggy. you know that Tuesday's my night
to drink beer in the alley with the guys.
52
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,293
It has been for years.
53
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,836
Let's see, I got Enrique at shortstop
and Joe Jack in center field.
54
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,569
I'll have to put Mr. Strickland at catcher.
55
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,648
It's the only position
his cardiologist would clear him to play.
56
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,148
And he has to sit on a stool.
57
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:06,652
I wish you could coach
my Army softball team, Hank.
58
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,914
We don't have any good leaders.
That's classified.
59
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:15,788
This Chamber of Commie-erce League
discriminates against the self-employed.
60
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:20,196
I'm a one-man extermination corporation.
How am I supposed to play?
61
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,665
Those are the rules, Dale.
62
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:25,102
You gotta have a Strickland pay stub
or be a Strickland wife.
63
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,607
I've sprayed Strickland for termites.
I have a pay stub.
64
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,077
I'm on the team!
65
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,475
[Dale laughing]
66
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,370
CONNIE: Get your Arrow Girl cookies!
67
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,579
BOBBY: Connie, wanna see me do a...
68
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,120
[Bobby yells]
69
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,279
What a dork.
70
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,155
My mom spent two hours
stacking those boxes.
71
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,555
Got milk?
72
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,658
'Cause you got cookies. Am I right?
73
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,566
Connie, tell your boyfriend to go away.
He's hurting business.
74
00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:01,673
Just 'cause we're on the "Couples� page
doesn't mean he's my boyfriend.
75
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,140
I know that.
76
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:07,336
I just came to buy
a box of Arrow Girl cookies.
77
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,676
[Grunting in disgust]
78
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:15,244
These cookies stink.
They're waxy and stale.
79
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:16,355
[Munching]
80
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,385
Bobby, maybe you should go, okay?
81
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:29,803
All right, Debbie, fire one in there.
Let's see what Joe Jack's got.
82
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:30,995
[Players chattering]
83
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,697
Get out of here, baby.
84
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,399
BOTH OUTFIELDERS: I got it.
85
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,941
HANK: All right.
Somebody pick up the dang ball.
86
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,739
[Crowd chattering]
87
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:43,846
[Grunting]
88
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,043
Back it up, fellas. I'm going deep.
89
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,049
[Dale laughing]
90
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,558
Doggone it, Hank!
91
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,652
Give me a boost off this dang stool,
would you?
92
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,694
[Players chattering]
93
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,423
[Buck grunting]
94
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,300
BUCK: Shoot! I'm gonna get
that son of a bitch.
95
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,563
[Moans]
96
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,842
HANK: Mr. Strickland, sir,
throw the dang ball!
97
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,601
BUCK: I got him!
98
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,314
[Screaming in pain]
99
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,473
Shoot! I'm having an infarction!
100
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:17,583
[Buck groaning]
101
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,616
HANK: Oh, my God! Mr. Strickland.
102
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:20,777
Safe!
103
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,216
[Dale laughs]
104
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,857
HANK: You know, my offer's still open.
105
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:31,192
We could really use a good pitcher,
I tell you what.
106
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,424
'Cause if you can pitch
as good as you make cookies--
107
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,868
My answer is still no.
And Bobby baked them.
108
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,938
-What?
-I used double the butter.
109
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,907
Aren't they great?
Better than the Arrow Girls'.
110
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,001
Oh, God!
You didn't join the Arrow Girls, did you?
111
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:48,410
No, and I never will.
112
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,974
But I will sell more cookies
than Troop Number 159...
113
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,385
Connie So up ha no us in phone,
secretary-treasurer.
114
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:58,818
Just don't wear the apron
out of the house, please.
115
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:07,325
Okay, Hank. I drove you here,
and I helped you carry the bats.
116
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,663
They seemed light enough for one person,
but what's done is done.
117
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,568
As long as you're here...
118
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:16,006
maybe you could give Debbie
some pointers on pitching.
119
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,077
Here, I brought your mitt.
120
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,168
Goodbye, honey.
121
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:25,380
THATHERTON: Now I know what stinks
so bad. Strickland's pitching.
122
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:28,887
What can they do?
The league requires a woman pitcher.
123
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:33,049
Like I tell my gym class,
girls can't play sports.
124
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:37,493
At least I found one that can get it
over the plate, if you know what I mean.
125
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,033
I'm having sex with her.
126
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,726
[Both guffawing]
127
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,097
But she's no good at sports, right?
128
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:46,967
That her ton!
129
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,107
Oh, yeah!
130
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,943
[Groans]
131
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,313
I am saving my good stuff
for our first game.
132
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,747
[Trumpeting]
133
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,299
[Laughing]
134
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:17,970
BOOMHAUER: Strike!
135
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,596
One up, one down.
136
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:23,074
A strikeout for Peggy Hill!
137
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:26,938
BOOMHAUER: Two!
138
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,080
[Cheering]
139
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,148
[Groans]
140
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,144
BOOMHAUER: Strike!
141
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,650
[Cheering]
142
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,322
BOOMHAUER: Go sit down on him.
HANK: Yeah!
143
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,294
ANNOUNCER:
Fifteen strikeouts for Peggy Hill.
144
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:47,299
And your winner is the Strickland Bobtails!
145
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,098
Al right.
146
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:53,094
[Peggy screams]
147
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,800
[Peggy laughing]
148
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,143
[Peggy sighs]
149
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,505
[All chattering]
150
00:07:58,611 --> 00:07:59,669
[Grunts hesitantly]
151
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:02,146
You know, this team didn't coach itself.
152
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:05,507
He's right. Nice job, Hank.
153
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:15,361
Oh, man! Did you see
that second bunt I laid down?
154
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:18,898
They threw you out in about 20 feet,
you sweet gazelle.
155
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:20,723
[Hank whistling]
156
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,734
All right. Quiet down, team.
157
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,828
Okay, I'd like to say a few words as coach.
158
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,804
That was a good team effort
out there, everybody.
159
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:32,003
Joe Jack, you got yourself a couple RBIs.
Nice going.
160
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,575
Enrique, dynamite job of catching.
161
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,844
-Aren"t you forgetting someone, Coach?
-All right.
162
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,246
I might be a little biased...
163
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,983
but I did coach one heck of a game,
I tell you what.
164
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,026
So thank you, and enjoy your pizza.
165
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,728
[Sad instrumental music]
166
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:53,862
And not one of my beauty school credits
has transferred to junior college.
167
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,899
It turns out you have to get at least a C.
168
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,666
Never hurts to quit.
169
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,873
I'm hungry. Where's Dad?
170
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:05,536
Probably busy patting himself on the back
for giving birth to you.
171
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,474
Morning. Time to flip them.
172
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,276
[Peggy grunts in dissent]
173
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,513
PEGGY: They're not ready yet.
174
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,090
They're brown around the edges.
175
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:21,093
-You don't want to burn them.
-I have been flapping jacks for 32 years.
176
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:24,357
Well, it's never too late
to learn how to do it right.
177
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,897
Here, let me show you.
178
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,432
There is nothing you can show me.
179
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,267
Please be careful with the pancakes.
180
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,469
Don't buy inferior Arrow Girl cookies.
181
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:42,670
What are they offering?
Oatmeal. That's for breakfast.
182
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,342
Mints. What are you, 60?
183
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,952
And dog poop.
184
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,121
What kind of flavor is that for a cookie?
185
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,216
My mistake. That's their peanut butter.
186
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,794
BOBBY: Hello, ladies.
CONNIE: Bobby, what are you doing?
187
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:00,696
I am trying to restore
the good name of cookies.
188
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,296
Here, taste.
189
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:04,660
[Grunts in disgust]
190
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,466
This tastes like mud.
191
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,603
What? That's a lie. You take that back.
192
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:10,935
Taste it, Connie.
193
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,638
Don't do it.
Don't let him make you eat mud.
194
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,180
This isn't funny, Bobby.
195
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,581
BOBBY: Connie, wait! There's nothing
wrong with Bobby's cookies.
196
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,483
Look at me. I'm eating them.
197
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,488
They've got your head all turned around.
198
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,954
[Munching]
199
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,090
Sorry I'm late.
200
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,531
That's what I get for picking
the most popular gynecologist in Arlen.
201
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,398
Try not to let it happen again.
202
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:39,598
I can't let the players think
I'm giving you special treatment...
203
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,037
'cause you're, you know...
204
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,609
-The best?
-...my wife.
205
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,508
-Good afternoon, Luanne.
-Hey, Uncle Hank.
206
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:46,873
Run along now.
207
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,211
Hank, Luanne has been my catcher
for the last two seasons.
208
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,045
I need her behind the plate.
209
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,315
Enrique is a nice man,
but he has got a porcelain hand.
210
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,889
I'm afraid to throw full speed.
211
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,719
Look, the roster's already set...
212
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,987
and we already have three women
on the team.
213
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,289
Did I hear you right?
214
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:05,797
You said you wanna replace
our catcher Enrique with this little filly?
215
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,266
Luanne has a lot of experience
catching me.
216
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,803
But I told her, sir,
that we didn't have any room--
217
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,565
Enrique, you're fired!
218
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,106
[Speaking Spanish]
219
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,869
Just kidding. Hank, stick him somewhere.
220
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,304
[Tense instrumental music]
221
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,516
[Players chattering]
222
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:32,523
ANNOUNCER: Strike three!
Put up another "K" for Peggy Hill!
223
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:38,689
[Players shouting]
224
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,588
HANK: Peggy, throw it here.
225
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,637
BOOMHAUER: Strike three, man.
226
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,605
[All cheering]
227
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,839
WOMAN: Looking good! All right.
228
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,708
[Crowd chattering]
229
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:59,146
Okay, let's walk this next batter,
set up the double play.
230
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,485
I can strike out this lap dancer in my sleep.
231
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,023
No, it's not good strategy.
232
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:08,492
Walk this gal, and pitch to the one
with the ridiculous implants up next.
233
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,387
[Crowd yelling]
234
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:18,837
[Grunting]
235
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,373
PEGGY: Yeah!
236
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:22,641
[Spitting]
237
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,805
HANK: Outfield shift.
238
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:34,718
PEGGY: No, shift back.
That's right. Little more.
239
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,213
[Batter grunts]
240
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,292
BOOMHAUER: Safe.
HANK: What?
241
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,388
Are you blind? He was out by two steps.
242
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:46,897
Hey, man, get out of my face!
243
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,799
HANK: You haven't made a right call
since this game started.
244
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:53,896
This isn't about my wife.
I'll kick your ass, I'll tell you what.
245
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,702
You're out of here!
246
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,303
Peggy.
247
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:02,472
Hello, Hank.
248
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,212
So, did we win?
249
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,581
[Peggy grunts in assent]
250
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,814
How could you
get me thrown out of the game?
251
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,889
Me? What did I have to do with it?
252
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,458
It never would have happened...
253
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:15,323
if you didn't shift the fielders back
after I moved them.
254
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:18,796
You embarrassed me as your husband,
I mean coach.
255
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,799
Well, Coach, if you'd moved them correctly
in the first place--
256
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,995
I told you to walk that stripper.
257
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:28,233
That was a week ago. And I always
got to position players in my other league.
258
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,873
Oh, sorry. That's right.
259
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,638
You wouldn't know that
because you never came to watch me.
260
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,214
Well, you never watched me sell propane.
261
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:39,082
Hank, I am sick and tired
of always batting last.
262
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,516
It's not fair to me.
263
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:45,080
You? You're the one who won't run fast
'cause you're afraid your hat will fall off...
264
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,387
and your bald spot will show.
265
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:52,360
Everybody wants to be a superstar today.
Nobody wants to be a team player.
266
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:55,366
You know, when the coach
told Mickey Mantle to take a pitch...
267
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:59,769
and he wasn't too hung-over to see
the sign, he took the pitch, I tell you what.
268
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,068
ANNOUNCER: Now batting for the Army...
269
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:07,135
William Fontaine Delatur Dauterive.
270
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,607
[Crowd chattering]
271
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,341
I want you to throw him some chin music.
272
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,921
Get him off the plate
so he can't put his gut into it.
273
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,251
You don't know
how to position an outfield.
274
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,223
You don't know when to flip a pancake.
275
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,623
And you don't know Jack Smith
about pitching.
276
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:22,957
So back off, Coach!
277
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:26,657
I'm not asking you as your coach.
I'm asking you as your husband.
278
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,393
They're all looking at us.
279
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,094
I am not your wife.
280
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,668
I mean, I am your... On the field, I am--
281
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:33,882
[Whispering] I love you.
282
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:34,099
[Whispering] I love you.
283
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,603
[Dramatic instrumental music]
284
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,213
Oh, yeah!
285
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,286
[Bill groans]
286
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,354
[Peggy gasps]
287
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,444
[Bill yells]
288
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,023
I'm all right.
289
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,023
I'm all right.
290
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:54,593
[Bill moans]
291
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:55,928
[Gasping]
292
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,663
[Bill moaning]
293
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:19,610
Okay, Peggy, I get the message.
Now put it over the plate.
294
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,544
[Hank laughs]
295
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:26,216
-Made your point.
-I am trying, Hank. I really am.
296
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,394
[Grunts]
297
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,552
[Grill clanking]
298
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,829
Oh, Peggy.
299
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,957
[Mumbling]
300
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,698
[Groaning]
301
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,801
[Laughing]
302
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:40,668
[Moaning]
303
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,099
[Gasping]
304
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:49,039
There's nothing wrong with you
that good coaching can't fix.
305
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,116
Bobby, come on in here, son.
306
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:52,275
Okay.
307
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,783
[Mumbling]
308
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,446
All right. Play ball.
309
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,063
Hey!
310
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,299
[Stammering]
311
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:11,131
I can't find the plate anymore.
Without my pitching, what am I?
312
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:13,934
I am just one more
four-eyed Boggle champion.
313
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,474
Okay, here's your problem.
314
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:19,102
You need to tuck your elbow in more
and release earlier in your windmill.
315
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,476
Really? Are you sure? I think--
316
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,141
Don't think. Thinking leads to over thinking.
317
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,241
Just listen to your coach.
318
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:34,890
KAHN: Oh, my God! You killed my Minh!
319
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,430
Not really.
But you really do suck, Peggy Hill.
320
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,963
[Sighs]
321
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,929
[Peggy grunting]
322
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,101
[Peggy exclaiming]
323
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,640
HANK: We're playing
Thatherton's team today, Luanne.
324
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:02,915
Be careful. He'll try every trick in the book
to mess with the catcher...
325
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,923
including the use of off-color language.
326
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,617
That her ton!
327
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,262
Luanne, while the rest of Arlen
was sleeping...
328
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,957
I was out in the yard throwing strikes.
329
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,361
And it is safe to say the pitch is back!
330
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,699
[Laughing]
331
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:23,042
Yeah. I'll bet you were tucking
that elbow in? Just like I told you.
332
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,339
BOOMHAUER: Tell you what,
let's play some dang old ball.
333
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:31,417
Here we go, Peggy.
Keep tucking that elbow in.
334
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,780
[Crowd chattering excitedly]
335
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,845
BOOMHAUER: Dang old. Take your base.
336
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,685
LUANNE: Aunt Peggy, watch out!
337
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,292
[All yelling]
338
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,954
[Luanne growls]
339
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,257
Who's ready to take the cookie challenge?
340
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:48,630
On the left, Bobby's cookies.
Fresh and buttery.
341
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,597
On the right, Arrow Girl cookies.
342
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,866
Foul and musty.
343
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,669
Bobby Hill, you have mocked
your last Arrow Girl cookie.
344
00:17:58,611 --> 00:17:59,578
[Screams]
345
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,880
[Girls muttering angrily]
346
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,005
[Connie gasps]
347
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:05,311
What are you doing?
348
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,682
BOBBY: Connie, help! Save the cookies!
349
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,949
No, we're getting rid of the mud cookies.
350
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,751
Connie, smash them.
351
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,528
[Munching]
352
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:18,997
[Exclaims]
353
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:22,032
These are great. They don't taste like mud.
354
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,624
They taste like...
355
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,762
Butter. Double the butter.
356
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:30,240
You lied to me.
My boyfriend is a cookie genius.
357
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:34,240
Yeah, I am a cookie... Boyfriend?
358
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,241
[Upbeat instrumental music]
359
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,512
ANNOUNCER: Going, going, gone!
360
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,182
How are you fixed for propane, That her ton?
361
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,384
[Crowd whooping]
362
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:52,591
ANNOUNCER: There's a double off
the back fence. That her ton takes the lead!
363
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,862
It's the bottom
of the seventh and final inning.
364
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,405
Two outs. Runners on first and second...
365
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:03,840
and Strickland up only by a run.
366
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,169
Hey, Hank.
367
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,713
Your wife seems to have lost her stuff.
368
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,784
Maybe it's the presence of a real man
on the field.
369
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,218
No, it is not. Tuck that elbow, Peggy.
Square your hips.
370
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,723
Drive off the rubber
concurrent with your release plane.
371
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,485
Concurrent, I said.
372
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,019
[Crowd chattering]
373
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,662
[Peggy grunts]
374
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,063
[Gasps]
375
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,299
ANNOUNCER: The bases are juiced.
376
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:32,131
Next up,
former Texas Ranger Kurt Bevacqua.
377
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,843
Time-out there, ump. God dang it, Hank!
378
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:40,975
Thatherton's got more people
on the bases than he does on his payroll.
379
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,007
Shoot!
380
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,651
Your gal's broke, Hank. She's broke.
381
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,550
Find a way to fix her. You're her husband.
382
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,585
Husband? What does that
have to do with...
383
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,520
[Solemn instrumental music]
384
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,163
I got to make a change, Peggy.
385
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:10,204
I'm sorry. I thought I had it worked out.
386
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:14,078
Debbie, you're playing first base.
387
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,806
And you, you strike this ringer out.
388
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,959
What are you doing, Dad?
389
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,121
I'm making the best coaching decision
I ever made.
390
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,133
I'm taking myself out of the game
so I can watch your mom pitch.
391
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,867
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
392
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,740
BOOMHAUER: You don't think
you could hook me up...
393
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,110
with some of them Rangers tickets, man?
394
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,546
Strike one.
395
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,646
[Bevacqua grunts]
396
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,754
Strike two.
Come on, Peggy! One more time.
397
00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:59,655
You can do it, Mom!
398
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,193
Take him down, ace!
399
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,487
[Crowd yelling animatedly]
400
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:07,595
[Exclaims]
401
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,561
[Gasps]
402
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:11,503
[Gasping]
403
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,796
[Tense instrumental music]
404
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,672
[Grunting]
405
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:20,034
[Yelling]
406
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,580
[Groans]
407
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:23,710
BOOMHAUER: Dang old.
408
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:24,975
[Peggy cheering]
409
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,586
ANNOUNCER: Team Strickland wins/
410
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,279
[All whooping]
411
00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,166
HANK: All right! You did it, Peggy!
412
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,955
Hank, you are the world's greatest coach!
413
00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:36,161
[Hank and Peggy laughing]
414
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,124
HANK: What about that?
415
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:44,897
HANK: If Dale hadn't made that catch,
it would have been a home run.
416
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:48,338
PEGGY: Oh, please. We both know
that Kurt Bevacqua corks his bat.
417
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,340
He always has and he always will.
418
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:50,986
HANK: Peggy, he was using
an aluminum bat.
419
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,739
HANK: Peggy, he was using
an aluminum bat.
420
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:56,179
PEGGY: / didn't say he was smart, Hank.
I said he was a cheater.
421
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,678
[Theme song]
422
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:30,605
BOOMHAVER: Tell you what,
let's play some dang old ball.
423
00:22:30,655 --> 00:22:35,205
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