All language subtitles for King of the Hill s03e19 Hanks Cowboy Movie.eng

BOBBY: Dad, only two more inches
to Wichita Falls.

Two and a quarter, Bobby.
Good eye, son.

What's the best way
to get to Corpus Christi?

The quickest way
is straight down here.

But the best way is
to go through Arlen.

It's one of George Bush's
Communities of Excellence.

Arlen, huh?
Is that where you're headed?

No, sir. We're on our
way to Wichita Falls.

We're gonna see the training camp
of the Dallas Cowboys.

They used to be in Austin
till, well, you know.

But like my dad says,
"Cowboys will be cowboys."

[HANK LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]

I say that in private, son.

[THEME SONG]

ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to Wichita Falls,

training camp of the former
world champion Dallas Cowboys.

Way to go, Cowboys!

Irvin's looking good this year,
huh, Dad?

Yup. I'm giving him an "A" minus.

I'm giving him a "B" plus.
That gives him some room to improve.

Good idea, son.

- I'm giving Troy Aikman a "B" plus, too.
- That's not funny, Bobby.

Dad, look.
They forgot one of their footballs.

HANK:
Follow me.

[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Sweet Jethro Pugh!

The Super Bowl has come down
to one play. Fourth down...

Aikman drops back to pass.
Irvin heads for the goal line.

- That's you, Bobby.
- Oh, okay.

Troy's under pressure.
He fires into the end zone.

HANK: And hits Michael Irvin
for a touchdown!

Dang!

Hold on a minute. Pass interference.
Cowboys retain possession.

And they run out the clock.

Turns out they were ahead all along.

The Cowboys win the Super Bowl!

BOTH:
The Cowboys win the Super Bowl!

The Cowboys win the Super Bowl!

[TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

SECURITY GUARD:
Well, hooray.

- Where are you guys from?
- Arlen, Texas.

Pig town. You a pig farmer?

I think you're confused, sir.

We don't raise pigs in Arlen, Texas.
We process them.

Oh, yeah.

You folks make them
tiny breakfast weenies.

But you're gonna have to leave now.

Wow! Did you just see that, Dad?

He added an extra move
when he gave me the Blizzard.

An extra little twirl.
They don't do that in Arlen.

Wichita Falls is the greatest place
I have ever been in my life.

- CASHIER: $1.09.
- HANK: What?

In Arlen, they're 99 cents.

In Arlen, it's not the official blended
frozen dairy product

of the Dallas Cowboys training camp.

[SINGING]

? Stampede!
Go you Dallas Cowboys, go ?

BOBBY:
Dad, look.

HANK:
I'll be dipped.

Excuse me. We're looking
for the assistant manager.

Jeff, there's some guys out here.

Dang it all, Jeff Jr.,
I wasn't finished with my nap.

Hello, there. I'm Hank Hill, and I sell
propane and propane accessories, too,

in Arlen, Texas.

I gotta say, I sure envy you.

After a hard day's work
at a job you love,

you get to take your son
to see the Cowboys.

I am so sick of you
south Texas pig jockeys coming in here,

waking me up to tell me,
"How about them Cowboys!"

Arlen stinks and Wichita Falls rules.
And you know why?

'Cause in five minutes, I can be
inside the great state of Oklahoma.

- Go, Sooners!
- What?

[SINGING]

- Go, Sooners!
- Stop!

Cut it out! Stop it! Stop it now!

- Stampede!
- Go, Sooners! Go!

Stampede! Go you Dallas Cowboys, go!
Come on!

BOBBY:
"Magic Fingers."

I like magic.

? I'll tell you what I want
What I really really want ?

Get off of there, Bobby.
You're not 18.

This is the coolest bed
I have ever seen.

They don't have beds
like this in Arlen.

They certainly do not.

Look what I found in the nightstand.

HANK:
What the heck is this?

This is the tape that Wichita Falls made
to show how great it is here,

and they sent it to the Cowboys
and that's why they came.

Do you want to watch my tape?

NARRATOR: Wichita Falls is excited about
bringing the Dallas Cowboys to our city.

This north Texas town is a perfect spot

for the training camp
of the Dallas Cowboys.

North Texas, my foot!
More like south Oklahoma.

Whatever you call it,
I like it more than "pig town."

What? Now, you wash your mouth out
right now

with two or three
of those little soaps.

I never noticed
what a dump this town is before.

What's that smell?

I think I'm gonna throw up.

It's just a sausage plant.
That smell means jobs, Bobby.

NARRATOR:
The state-of-the-art mall

is anchored by
Dillard's and JC Penney.

And our restaurants
include both Chili's and Bennigan's.

Bobby sure had a
good time on your trip.

Yeah. Too good.
Now he's down on his hometown.

All his dreams from now on
are gonna be about leaving.

Then some high-school guidance
counselor is gonna tell him

to follow his dreams.

Then how will he end up?

A fruit pie salesman with
a whoopee cushion living in Wichita Falls.

Hank, it's happening
to the best of our young people.

There is nothing here for them.

Last week, two sixth-graders told me
they wanted to be astronauts.

You can't find work as an astronaut
in Arlen, Hank.

Not anymore.

I've been trying to hire some teenagers
at Strickland for months.

No one wants to be a
tank wipe these days.

And the problem is,
our kids are leaving.

Hank is right.

If all the children leave Arlen,

there will be no young
to take care of our old.

Our old will feed off our very old.

Our very old who are not eaten
will wish they had been...

eaten.

Dale, that's not gonna happen.
Not if we do something about it.

We are going to keep
our young people

by bringing the Dallas Cowboys
training camp to Arlen.

I know it's a long shot,

but what if we make a movie about Arlen
and send it to the Cowboys?

Do you really think
we can make a movie, Hank?

I know we can.
We used to make movies all the time.

Remember, Dale? You practically
slept with that little camcorder.

Practically? I was going to be
the next Zapruder.

Except nobody shot a president after that.
Nobody knew what he was doing.

Sugs, as a professional
on-air personality,

I would be glad to
donate my services.

I've always wanted to branch out
from weather to hard infotainment.

And every good movie starts with what?
A good script.

Pass the salt, please.

Peggy, you're a writer.
You could write the script.

Me? Well, all right.
I will do it for the children of Arlen.

And I will be the
president of the movie.

Tell you what. All you need is get
one of them dang old narrators.

Just like the movie trailer guys.

Like, "In a world where love
is against the law." Something like that.

Yeah! Or we could put you
in an armadillo suit.

- Bill, you'll be in charge of snacks.
- This calls for sopapillas.

All right! Yeah!
How about them Cowboys!

Sopapillas for everyone!

In Wichita Falls,
this button doesn't stick.

Welcome, Jerry Jones.
I'm Nancy Hicks-Gribble,

and I'll be your tour guide on
a magical journey through Arlen, Texas,

the next training camp site
of the Dallas Cowboys.

Sharks may be scary,
as is the spearlike Marlin,

but fear not, Jerry,
for landlocked Arlen is darlin'.

- HANK: Cut!
- DALE: We're gonna get the Cowboys.

Let's not get ahead
of ourselves, Dale.

Now, I noticed you were jiggling
the camera a bit.

We really don't need any fancy
camera tricks. Just point and shoot.

Got you. Consider me a human tripod
with an invisible third leg.

Like you Cowboys,
Arlenites are rugged individualists.

We are do-it-yourselfers,
for your information. That's D-I-Y-F-Y-I.

One more reason Arlen is darlin'.

Cut! Okay.

HANK: That was written okay
and acted pretty good, but it needs...

Let me think about this...

All right, let's do it again,
maybe a little better this time.

I don't care what Hank says.
I think your script is just wonderful.

Thank you, Nancy. I got that
rhyming idea from Charles Kuralt.

Or was it Charles Osgood?

Wait. Which one was the one
with the mistress and the Winnebago?

They all fool around, sug'.

Anyway, your script is brilliant.
I wouldn't change a word.

Now that you mention it,
you did change one teeny little word.

- Really? Did I?
- Yes.

You said "Arlenites"
instead of "Arlenians."

That's the Channel 84 preferred term
for residents of Arlen.

Technically, residents of Arlen
are called Arlenians.

As a substitute educator,
I would know that.

You're the writer, sug'.

I'm just the professional
television personality.

Like you Cowboys, Arlenites...

I'm duct-taping your zoom.

BOOMHAUER: Man, old heat rash, man.
Dang old hot.

Not happy, you know what I mean?

Boomhauer, we'll get to you tomorrow,
I promise.

BOOMHAUER: Talk about your dang old
hurry up and wait, man.

Thanks, man.

Gosh! I don't know who's sweating more,
me or the cheese.

BOBBY:
You look tired, Dad.

I guess it's hard to get enough rest
when you're presidenting a film.

Yup. See, I'm gonna do a big shot
from up here.

Do you really think
the Cowboys would move to Arlen?

I sure do, son.
Imagine what it'll be like.

We'll go to get autographs. Troy Aikman
will toss the ball around with you.

I wish I could have had
"Dandy" Don Meredith

or Roger Staubach
throwing me passes when I was your age.

Even Craig Morton
would have been all right.

- I love you, Bobby.
- What?

Nothing. Hey, look at that bird.

Dale, stop putting your bug truck
in the background of all the shots.

What kind of message are we sending?
Arlen is full of bugs?

You think that's all I do?
I killed eight gophers last year.

And a purebred Tennessee walking horse
that was looking at me funny.

Did you know that that primadonna had
the gall to suggest changing my slogan

from "Arlen is darlin'"

to "Arlen: where
Super Bowls are born"?

"Where Super Bowls are born."

HANK:
Where is Nancy, anyway?

PEGGY: Miss Priss
is pouting in her trailer.

She won't do my snake scene.

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]

[CAR TIRES SCREECHING]

Thank God you're here,
John Redcorn!

Nancy won't come
out of the bug-abago.

Nancy has a headache
and requires treatment.

I will need about an hour.
And a bottle of Asti Spumante.

I'll get it.

That's it. You have pampered
that woman long enough.

Put me on camera right this second.
Come on.

The snakes and I are ready to go.

Maybe we should give John Redcorn
a few more minutes.

[WHOOSHING]

- Do you know what that is?
- No.

Let me tell you.

That is the sound of Arlen's future
going right down the toilet.

And do you know
whose butt is on that seat?

It's yours, Hank. It's your butt.

Dale, get the camera.

Okay, we're rolling.
Now, just try to relax.

And remember,
all the Cowboys will be watching you.

It's feeding time here
at the world-famous Arlen Snake Farm.

You Cowboys have a lot in common
with these hungry vipers.

They devour rodents
just the way you devour...

opponents.

[MOUSE SQUEAKING]

HANK:
Time out.

That was...

Look, here's Nancy now.

Nancy, Peggy was
just standing in for you.

Now, honey,
if you'll just step aside.

Nancy, why don't we do this one
with your new slogan,

"Arlen: where Super Bowls are born"?

I'll say my slogan, sug',
but I'm not touching that little mouse.

Yes, you are.

[SHRIEKING]

[ROCK MUSIC]

BOOMHAUER:
Hey, man! Get him off!

[BOOMHAUER SHRIEKING]

Get off my cheese!

- Cut!
- Bobby, help me save the cheese!

Cut!

Cut it out!

NANCY:
I quit!

Peggy, if you've ever loved the Cowboys,
apologize to her.

She said "Arlenite."
It's " Arlenian."

Arlenian. Arlenian.

Either I get an apology or guess what?
I quit.

You just quit, sug'.

[SOBBING]

- Then I quit!
- If Peggy quits, I quit.

Oh, man! Dang old, man! I quit.

You have bullyragged this production

and stifled my creativity from day one.

It is now day two. I quit!

HANK:
What about the Cowboys?

- The Cowboys!
- It's okay, Dad.

We were crazy to try and compete
with Wichita Falls.

HANK:
I'll do this on my own.

Hello, Jerry Jones.
I'm Hank Hill.

I'll be your quarterback on a game-winning
drive through Arlen, Texas,

the next training camp site
of the Dallas Cowboys.

I'm standing here at the 50-yard line
of Tut Rampy Field,

the future site of the Dallas Cowboys
training camp.

You see?
You're just a dot at this distance.

Yeah, so edit it bigger.
That's why I'm here.

Hank, I'm the best
UHF editor in Texas.

But I can't work miracles.

You've got no master shot,
you've crossed the action axis,

the sound's horrible.

I guess that was all my responsibility
as president.

[SIGHING]

All I wanted to do was get my son
to love this town as much as I do.

Where did I go wrong, Tom? Where?

Dad's talking
to the Tom Landry plate again.

PEGGY:
Hello, Nancy? It's Peggy.

I would like to apologize to you,
one Arlenite to another.

No, I was the one who said "Arlenian."
That's why this is an apology.

All right. Let's just agree to disagree.

Now, I'm gonna need
to borrow your home movies.

PEGGY: I hear you're
the best television editor in all of Texas.

UHF.

PEGGY: The reason I've called you all here
is to show you a video,

which we will be sending to the
Dallas Cowboys tomorrow morning.

It was made over the years
by each and every one of us.

BILL:
And that's after having two chickens!

Boy, was I drunk!

BOBBY:
Look how smooth my bottom was!

HANK:
Bobby!

[SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[BOBBY LAUGHING]

HANK: You know, I made that barbecue
out of two old barbecues.

[HANK LAUGHING]

[DALE LAUGHING]

We're gonna get the Cowboys.

- BOBBY: Hey, Dad.
- HANK: Hello, Bobby.

The Cowboys thanked
us for the video,

but they have no plans to move to Arlen
in the near future.

And they sent us a
little rubber football.

So I guess this means you're
gonna leave us when you grow up?

Yeah, I'll probably leave,
but it's not for a while, Dad.

I'm only 12.
We've still got plenty of time together.

Yeah.

And even after you move,
Wichita Falls is only a six-hour drive.

But I can't be a prop
comic in Wichita Falls.

I'm moving to New York City
or Hollywood. Maybe Vegas.

Well, at least it's not Wichita Falls.

I may keep a place there
for tax purposes.

- BOBBY: You wanna try the little football?
- HANK: All right.

Hike it to me and go out for a pass.

How about you hike the ball
and go out for the pass?

The crowd is going wild.

[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[YELLING]

Roger Staubach goes back to pass.

Roger's in trouble. He scrambles.

Roger the Dodger gets away.
He throws into the end zone.

It's complete to my dad, Hank Hill!

Touchdown!
The Cowboys win the Super Bowl!

[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[COWBOYS FIGHT SONG]

HANK:
Sweet Jethro Pugh!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0