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1
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,535
[Theme song]
2
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,266
Yup.
3
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,001
Yup.
4
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,669
Yup.
5
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,767
-What's with Hank?
-I think he's worried about his mom.
6
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,675
Are you worried about your mom, Hank?
7
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,239
He's worried about his mom.
8
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:53,414
She and her friends
were supposed to get here two hours ago.
9
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,013
Why she had to take on
all this highway driving at her age...
10
00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,091
just to see a museum of miniatures?
11
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,626
-The one at Port Aransas?
-Yes.
12
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:07,200
Maybe she stopped on the way
to make herself look nice.
13
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,460
That's something ladies do.
14
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,928
I was married to one once.
15
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:14,874
[Hank sighing]
16
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,313
My God, it's almost 4:00.
17
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:25,348
Would it cheer you up
if I stuffed some Fig Newtons up my nose?
18
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:29,614
Mom, you made it.
19
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:34,058
You've still got four hours of driving
before you get to Port Aransas.
20
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:37,688
-I'm not sure I want you to--
-Honey, we stopped at the Pancake House.
21
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,999
One thing just led to another.
22
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,900
Blueberry pancakes
mean blueberries in the pancakes...
23
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,302
not buttermilk grille cakes
with blue sauce on top.
24
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:50,172
-They brought you new ones.
-That's not the point.
25
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,870
It was horrible.
26
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:55,574
TILLY: This is Lillian. She's delicate.
HANK: Pleased to meet you, Lillian.
27
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,517
That was much too sudden.
28
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:02,250
You know, Mom,
that van of yours is a lot to handle.
29
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,120
In many ways, it's more of a light truck.
30
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,321
Maybe this trip is just too much
for you to take on.
31
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:12,126
-Yup, I think it is.
-I have to drive. I'm the youngest.
32
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:15,858
Maureen's only 10 years older,
but she lost her license.
33
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,765
It was took last March.
34
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:21,136
-Delia gets angry.
-The doctor calls it road rage.
35
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,733
I'll drive. It's only been 40 years.
36
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,877
We are talking about a bicycle?
37
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:30,080
I don't have a choice, Peggy.
I've got to drive them the rest of the way.
38
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,719
Hank, if you wanna go visit
a miniature museum...
39
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,584
then just come out and say so.
I won't tell anyone.
40
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,852
I hate miniatures.
I've hated them since I was a kid.
41
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:42,085
Mom only took them out
when she was heading into a funk.
42
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:45,529
Like between the time I was 10 and 14.
43
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:51,134
Enjoy your trip
to the miniature museum, Hank.
44
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:52,966
Hope you can fit inside.
45
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:54,173
[Laughing]
46
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,375
Yeah, man. You know,
talk about an old party van, man!
47
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,948
Hank inside with them old ladies.
48
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:05,246
Old have a good old time
with them little old ladies.
49
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,945
Very funny, guys.
50
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:11,423
I can't think of anything funnier than
a man having to take care of his mother.
51
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:13,818
That's just hilarious.
52
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,156
You think your mother
would find that funny, Dale?
53
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,787
Not the way you tell it.
54
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,706
[Tilly's friend snoring]
55
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,972
The wildflowers sure are lovely this spring.
56
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:37,483
I always say
there's nothing like Texas wildflowers.
57
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,120
You think we Arizonans
don't have flowers?
58
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,483
I never said that.
59
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,818
Titty, that boy of yours just called me a liar.
60
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,950
- I did not.
-Hank, just apologize to Delia.
61
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,528
But I never said--
62
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:51,757
Delia gets a little out of sorts
when her blood sugar falls low.
63
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,526
Otherwise, she's lovely.
64
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,829
Here's a piece of hard candy, dear.
65
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,237
[Singing]
66
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,709
[Bill singing]
67
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:15,688
You shouldn't have to be working
with your hands, Peggy. You're a lady.
68
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,056
[Laughing]
69
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,884
BILL: Here, let me help.
70
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:23,985
It must be nice having a man
around the house again, Peggy.
71
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,861
Actually, Hank has only been gone
an hour-and-a-half.
72
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,503
I tell you, Peggy, I'd never leave you
for an hour-and-a-half.
73
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,397
Your shirt is very dirty.
74
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:38,477
That's not dirt. That's chili sauce and such.
75
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,818
-What's that boy doing?
-I'm just getting a traffic report.
76
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,356
Radio makes Lillian carsick.
77
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:58,590
You can't get carsick from a radio.
Carsick's an inner ear thing.
78
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,932
DELIA: Turn on the radio.
HANK: I'd prefer not to risk it.
79
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,938
I was a nurse for 40 years.
I know all about carsick.
80
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,608
I've never been carsick in my life.
81
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,133
What should I do?
82
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,871
The problem with you is
you never know what to do.
83
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,380
-You just met me.
- I know your kind.
84
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,610
Would you please turn on the radio?
85
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,382
RADIO ANNOUNCER: It's 75 degrees.
86
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:24,249
All right, ladies, you can get back in.
87
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,359
Careful, Bobby. You know how
your mother and I worry about you.
88
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:36,762
You know,
she worries about you, too, Mr. Dauterive.
89
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,532
-She does?
-I guess. I don't know.
90
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:44,269
LILLIAN: Look, everyone. Port Aransas.
91
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,142
TILLY: It looks like a miniature island.
92
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,983
LILLIAN: It's a shame it has to get bigger.
93
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,515
I want to remember it like this.
94
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:56,850
So I guess all of you
are as crazy for miniatures as my mom?
95
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,184
I wouldn't use the word "crazy."
96
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:00,926
To the miniatures!
97
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,595
ALL: To the miniatures!
98
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,296
[Jazzy instrumental music]
99
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,007
[Knocking at door]
100
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,205
What?
101
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,743
Hurry. We're gonna be late for the museum.
102
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,682
It's not even 5:00 a.m.
103
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,349
That kind of attitude
is not going to get you ready any faster.
104
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:33,821
HANK: Okay.
105
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,822
HANK: Will you give me time to shave?
MAUREEN: No.
106
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,635
Looks like we might have gotten here
a little early.
107
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,330
What's the big joke?
108
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,400
-It's not a joke.
-Then it's us, isn't it?
109
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:51,409
Apparently we amuse you in some way?
110
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:52,903
I wish.
111
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,472
HANK: That was interesting.
112
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,112
Stay. Watch.
113
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:02,177
Lyle Neph is one of the world's
most renowned micro-pointillists.
114
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:03,656
Lyle Neph.
115
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,328
God! I haven't heard that name
since I was 13.
116
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:12,231
You know, I'd always pictured him
with a scrawnier mustache.
117
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,027
They say the sprites
talk through his hands.
118
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,261
HANK: That's a nice-looking seal.
119
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,497
It is an otter!
120
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,541
Lyle Neph would never
waste his time on seals.
121
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:25,612
Seals are trash mammals.
Everybody knows that.
122
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,745
TILLY: Six cucumber sandwiches, please.
123
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,285
I'll have the hamburger sandwich instead.
124
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,412
The cucumber sandwiches
are delicious here.
125
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,048
I don't like cucumber.
126
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,651
I apologize for my son.
127
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,526
Come on, Mom.
You don't have to apologize for me.
128
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,224
Apparently I do.
129
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,699
Mom? It's me, Hank.
Just came to say goodnight.
130
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,237
Shouldn't you be in bed? It's almost 7:30.
131
00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:01,042
TILLY: Look at this. Don't they look happy?
They like it here.
132
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:06,308
HANK: Mom, those are just glass.
TILLY: I know that, Hank.
133
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:10,788
My point is they're from the island
and they like being home.
134
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,351
You're not falling into
one of those funks, are you, Mom?
135
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,623
'Cause I haven't seen you...
136
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,028
socialize with your miniatures since...
137
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,226
Gosh! Since you were married to Dad.
138
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,527
I'll helps you with your dishes.
139
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,702
HANK: Mom, what should I do?
140
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,374
Quiet, you!
141
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,820
BILL: Cleaning?
PEGGY: How did you get in?
142
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,548
You gave me a key, remember?
143
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:46,751
When you went on vacation,
so I could feed Ladybird.
144
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,794
That was six years ago.
145
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,596
It's probably a good thing
I held on to it, too.
146
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,861
BILL: After all, you never know when--
PEGGY: I want it back.
147
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,225
Now!
148
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:59,302
All right. Let me help you with that trash.
149
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,870
Why is he hugging our trash?
150
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:06,171
As long as he does not take it
into his house, we're okay.
151
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:09,940
Oh, no.
152
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:17,584
I'll have a Dune Burgie, medium-rare,
and a beer.
153
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,026
At last. A few signs of civilization.
154
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,654
Hey, guys. How those Longhorns
looking for next year?
155
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,562
-Totally awesome, dude.
-Awesome.
156
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,961
That's what I like to hear.
157
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,596
Let me buy you a beer
and we can talk some football.
158
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,195
Don't mind if we do.
159
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:43,541
Hey, fellows, slow down.
We've got the whole bench to go over.
160
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,312
[Hank laughing]
161
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:48,117
I tell you, this is just what I needed.
162
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:52,990
I spent the day
with about 500 years of old lady.
163
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,260
If they could see me now
having a beer and a hamburger...
164
00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:00,492
that'd push them right over the edge,
I tell you what.
165
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,665
[Knocking at door]
166
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,864
[Loud music playing]
167
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:12,671
Hold on to your hats, ladies.
The museum will still be there at dawn.
168
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,876
[People hooting]
169
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:23,153
You kids knock it off!
Come on! Some of us are trying to sleep.
170
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,988
Okay, you asked for it.
171
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,493
You. What room are your parents in?
172
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,923
For goodness sake!
173
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,396
And none of you
heard any of that last night?
174
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,563
No.
175
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,441
I smell something unpleasant
in this hallway.
176
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,643
It's making me rather...
177
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,037
[Lillian retching]
178
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,147
HANK: Son, your blinker's on.
179
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,082
Merge already!
180
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,453
[Cars honking]
181
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:58,688
Look at this crowd.
That museum is going to be a madhouse.
182
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:05,188
I think it would be safest if we used
a buddy system to get around.
183
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,357
You're making too much out of this.
184
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:11,165
Mom, that fellow asked you
to show him your high beams.
185
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,103
Do you even know what he meant?
186
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:16,470
Of course I do.
I've been driving longer than you.
187
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,874
No. Mom, what he meant was--
188
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:21,208
Hank, look. A unicorn.
189
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,140
I have just the little nook for you.
190
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,014
Yes, I do.
191
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,524
Peggy.
192
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:35,418
Isn't it funny we ran into each other here
just by chance?
193
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,895
I didn't even know
you shopped at this market.
194
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:41,490
-It's the one closest to the house, Bill.
- I think so, too.
195
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,968
-You know what I'm shopping for?
-Food?
196
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,738
I didn't ask you, all right?
197
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,535
I'm having a barbecue this afternoon.
198
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,004
-See you there.
-No, you will not.
199
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,571
Okay, then. 4:00.
200
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,343
[All cheering]
201
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,348
[People hooting]
202
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,131
[Loud music playing]
203
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,626
Oh, my God!
204
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,862
All right, gentlemen, ladies.
205
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,937
Let's take a vote: Warm water...
206
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,045
or cold water?
207
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,081
Cold water it is!
208
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:41,516
Rock-a-ditto, do your stuff!
209
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:46,058
But, cold water is gonna make their...
210
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:50,235
Okay, let's go. Buddy up.
Delia, you hold Maureen's hand.
211
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:53,863
No, we're fighting. She ate the last scone.
212
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,634
And it was delicious.
213
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,239
HANK: Randy! Chad! It's me, Hank.
214
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,539
It's that dude from last night.
215
00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:09,317
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to let that happen.
216
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,756
The problem with you is
you never mean to let anything happen.
217
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:15,692
It's a horrible, empty way to live.
218
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,964
DALE: Barbecuing?
BILL: No! Go away.
219
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:22,359
This is Peggy's.
220
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,460
She's got no one to do her barbecuing
now that Hank's left her.
221
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,802
Left her? He's only on a two-day trip
with his mom.
222
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:32,173
And four other single women.
223
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,536
[Loud music playing]
224
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:34,947
[Cars honking]
225
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,310
"How's my driving?" I'll tell you.
226
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,283
Mom, write this number down.
227
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,876
"1-800...
228
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,447
"E-A-T...
229
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,419
"S-H..."
230
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,352
Never mind.
231
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,226
DJ: Spring Break '99 continues...
232
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,198
with some of the hottest bands,
bods and buns...
233
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:58,601
on the Port I call Aransas.
Am [ right, Rock-a-ditto?
234
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,635
And Party '99 is only getting better...
235
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:07,202
'cause Adam Sandier
is gonna be performing live!
236
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:12,146
Sloppy Joe, slop, slop, Sloppy Joe
237
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,253
[Crowd chanting]
238
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,690
[Man in costume singing]
239
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,289
There. You're packed.
240
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,592
But we haven't seen the Glade of Elsinore
at the museum.
241
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,097
Forget about the museum.
242
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,159
We've gotta get off this island before
they run out of beer and start rioting.
243
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:34,467
The Glade of Elsinore
is crafted from real flowers.
244
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,599
That means the pigments fade, stupid.
245
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,734
I don't care. We're leaving.
246
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,942
DELIA: You're impossible!
247
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,512
[Loud hip hop music playing]
248
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,555
[Car honking]
249
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:53,654
I tell you what, it'll be great
when all these kids look like miniatures...
250
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,694
in our rear-view mirror.
251
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:56,954
[Hank laughing]
252
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:01,933
When you're all back safe in your homes
and planned communities...
253
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,126
you'll thank me.
254
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,931
My God, Hank, stop!
255
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:08,439
-Mom, I told you, I will not--
-Hank, stop this van!
256
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:13,338
-What is it? Are you okay?
-No, I'm not. I'm not okay at all.
257
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,441
I've left my unicorn.
258
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:16,912
[All exclaiming]
259
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,479
-We have to go back for it.
-We'll miss the ferry. I can't.
260
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,580
Hank, tiny glass unicorns
are as hard to find as a real unicorn.
261
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,517
I can't leave without mine.
262
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,823
Now I've had enough, Mom.
Forget the damn unicorn...
263
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,694
and all these stupid little dolls
from when you went weird.
264
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,769
Delia was right. Hank, you are impossible.
265
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,768
-Which one of you is Delia?
-She is.
266
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:40,132
I could commit you like that.
267
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,341
Oh, no. Stay put.
268
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:48,771
HANK: Mom!
269
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:03,689
These should hold you till I get back.
270
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,596
I wanted milk, not cream.
Cream makes me logy.
271
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,132
Live with it.
272
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:17,135
Excuse me, have you seen
a nice-looking older lady...
273
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,712
gray hair, yellow golf sweater?
274
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,705
Stand right there while I think about it.
275
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,714
What? I don't see why I need to--
276
00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,248
Gotcha!
277
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,788
Can't you see I'm looking for a lady?
278
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,383
We're all looking for ladies, dude.
That's what spring break is all about.
279
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:39,855
Bill.
280
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,900
Why isn't Bobby playing?
281
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:46,602
You don't look good, Mr. Dauterive.
Have you been in a fire?
282
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:48,964
[Sobbing]
283
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:50,236
Are you okay?
284
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,802
No, I'm not okay. I'm not okay at all.
285
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:57,611
I didn't make you a barbecue
just so you wouldn't show up...
286
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,914
and I didn't come here
to not watch Bobby play ball!
287
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,182
Bill, please! People can hear you.
288
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,781
I don't care! Maybe it's time they did.
289
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,687
Coach! You, coach!
290
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:11,759
Why aren't you playing Bobby Hill?
I am responsible for that boy.
291
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,196
You play him now, you hear me? You!
292
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,860
I'm not angry at you.
293
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,401
Bill, you get your arm off me!
294
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,203
[Bill wincing]
295
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,211
[All cheering]
296
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:28,274
PEGGY: Come on, Cougars!
297
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:29,381
[Peggy hooting]
298
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,542
Mom!
299
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:43,692
Excuse me, I'm looking for
a nice-looking older lady, sweater...
300
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:47,061
-She needed a unicorn.
-Don't they all?
301
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,565
Was she here?
302
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,501
LYLE: She left a few minutes ago,
one unicorn richer.
303
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,835
Damn those stupid miniatures!
They're gonna get her killed.
304
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,534
You don't know anything.
305
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:57,700
What?
306
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,744
Miniatures probably
saved your mother's life.
307
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,370
What's that supposed to mean?
308
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,246
Do you know how hard it is
to be a woman in this world? I do.
309
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:09,345
Women come in here all the time,
and they are sad, lonely and frumpy...
310
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,516
and they tell me
how my tiny, individually handcrafted...
311
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,595
investment-grade art
is the only thing keeping them sane.
312
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,993
Do you understand?
Does that sound like your mother?
313
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,064
No.
314
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:23,130
Well, maybe when her marriage to my dad
was breaking up...
315
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:29,370
So this little glass crap
really helped her out?
316
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,945
HANK: I guess I owe someone an apology.
LYLE: Accepted.
317
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:42,351
About back in the car... Well, here.
318
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,650
What is it?
319
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,119
It's the Los Angeles International Airport...
320
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,194
carved in a walnut shell.
321
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,591
TILLY: Look at the detail.
322
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,332
Don't worry, little puppy.
Someone's coming to claim you.
323
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:59,166
-It's wonderful.
-Yeah, it's a Neph.
324
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:02,908
[All cheering]
325
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:07,077
We gotta go, Mom. Now.
326
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,807
The last ferry leaves in 15 minutes...
327
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:13,683
and the brochure recommends
getting there 10 minutes in advance.
328
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,182
[Loud music playing]
329
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:28,600
Maureen.
330
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:33,271
[Panting]
331
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,184
Takes two minutes to develop.
332
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,458
TILLY: They passed her over the crowd
like a beach ball.
333
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:57,824
Oh, hell!
334
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,432
DJ: Get them, Rock-a-ditto!
335
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,732
Invasion!
336
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:09,038
HANK: Now you...
337
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,615
Those are prescription, dang it!
Give me that!
338
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,621
You damn...
339
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:23,983
Get your...
340
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,818
-Mellow out, man.
-Get off!
341
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:28,727
[Crowd booing]
342
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,139
[Tense instrumental music]
343
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,879
-Oh, no!
-Don't worry. We're gonna make it.
344
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:03,918
HANK: Oh, God!
345
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,128
Everybody stay calm.
346
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:10,100
We just experienced severe tire damage.
347
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:14,537
You said you'd get us out of here.
Titty, your boy is all talk.
348
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:17,775
-I hate you.
-Hank, get us out of here.
349
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,276
But we're down to the rims.
350
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:22,507
If we drive on them,
they may never be true again.
351
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,974
DJ: Sloppy Joe, slop, slop, Sloppy Joe.
352
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:28,611
HANK: It's him. Hang on to your Nephs.
353
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:32,023
[Tense instrumental music]
354
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:47,439
Look, everyone. Port Aransas.
355
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,368
I can't wait to get there.
356
00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:04,419
-Who's ready?
-Lay it on me.
357
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:06,617
I probably could use a beer.
358
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,719
-Dale.
-Thank you.
359
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:11,595
-Boomhauer.
-Dang ol' thanks, man.
360
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:13,598
Bill.
361
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,561
Sorry about that.
362
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:22,073
And thanks for looking after Peggy for me.
363
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,266
[Bill yelling]
364
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:26,638
BILL: It won't happen again, Hank.
HANK: Yup.
365
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,606
TILLY'S FRIEND: / know your kind.
366
00:22:29,656 --> 00:22:34,206
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