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1
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[Theme song playing]
2
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[Birds chirping]
3
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HANK: Just my luck!
4
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,663
The Super Bowl party's in 10 days...
5
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,707
and my television goes on the disabled list.
6
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,134
Why don't we just get a new TV?
7
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,944
HANK: Well, I wish
that was possible, son, but...
8
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,379
the terrible truth is that America...
9
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,246
the best country
in the history of the world...
10
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,682
no longer makes television sets.
11
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,982
If I let this one fall apart,
I let a piece of America die.
12
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:01,152
Well, couldn't we just buy,
like, a Japanese one?
13
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,751
Bobby, go to your room.
14
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:04,927
[Humming softly]
15
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,695
Luanne, telephone! It's Buckley!
16
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:08,891
[Gasps]
17
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,566
Hello, Buckley.
18
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,196
What?
19
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,636
Of course not.
20
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,443
We could go
to the outlet stores next week.
21
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:20,071
It's not like
they're having a sale or anything.
22
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,377
They have everyday low prices.
23
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:24,440
[Luanne sighs]
24
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,685
Why are people so mean, Aunt Peggy?
25
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:31,315
It's been 2,000 years since Jesus was born,
but we're still acting like cavemen.
26
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,415
Honey.
27
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,219
HANK: Peggy, we're going shopping...
28
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:37,662
for the Super Bowl party,
not your feminine items.
29
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,362
Diet soda?
30
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,827
Hank, we have got a situation here.
31
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,600
Luanne has come down
with a bad case of the "Why Me's?"
32
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,849
Come on, do something
to cheer her up, please.
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00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:49,535
Come on, do something
to cheer her up, please.
34
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,000
[Sighs]
35
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,403
HANK: Luanne?
36
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,948
Me and Bobby are heading over
to the Mega Lo Mart.
37
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,710
You want to go for a ride?
38
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,309
Is it okay if I don't feel like talking?
39
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:00,376
Sure. Why not?
40
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:03,913
[Sighs]
41
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,050
It's not just Buckley. It's everything.
42
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,653
The world's going to pieces.
I mean, look at any newspaper.
43
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,598
Aliens are getting autopsies,
and devil-babies are being born every day.
44
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,965
That may be true, Luanne, but...
45
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:19,267
it's up to each of us
to make the world a better place.
46
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Take me, for example.
47
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:24,369
I sell a clean-burning, energy-efficient fuel.
48
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,340
Do you think I could sell propane?
49
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:32,048
No, what I'm saying is
you've got to find your own calling.
50
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,244
Yeah, you're probably right.
51
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,650
You're always probably right.
52
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:38,618
HANK: Garage sale.
53
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,493
HANK: This is it.
54
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One deflection coil, made in the US of A.
55
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:52,198
With this in our set,
the only thing beyond our control...
56
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,502
is the size of the NFC victory.
57
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,972
Why don't we just watch the game
at Mr. Dauterive's house?
58
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:02,505
I like it there. He keeps snacks
in his couch cushions.
59
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:05,313
No, Bobby. The Super Bowl party goes:
60
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,377
Bill, Hank, Dale, Boomhauer.
61
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:11,648
This is Hank year,
and I want everything to be perfect.
62
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,760
People are still talking
about Super Bowl XXIV.
63
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,757
Boomhauer's dip was so thick...
64
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:20,391
our chips were snapping
like Joe The is man's birdie leg.
65
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,359
[Luanne gasps]
66
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,028
[Exclaims]
67
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,538
My name is Luanne. What's yours?
68
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,007
LUANNE: [High voice]
I'm Mr. Cat. "Meow" do you do?
69
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,072
[Giggles]
70
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,784
You're pretty good with those.
71
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:42,613
I used to play with the puppets
all the time, with the social worker.
72
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,919
Hey, how much for the puppets?
73
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:46,551
You mean it?
74
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,756
Well, if it costs 25 cents
to make you smile, it's a bargain.
75
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,227
BOBBY: Look, Dad! An old wig!
76
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:54,390
[Hank sighs]
77
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,334
HANK: Bobby, take that off.
78
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:02,668
I'm not saying it was a miracle,
Reverend Thomason...
79
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,269
but I don't usually trip into boxes.
80
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,078
I think God has a plan for me.
81
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,349
And it involves puppets.
82
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:14,552
Luanne, I like the idea
of a Christian puppet show...
83
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:17,113
but try to see things from my perspective...
84
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,750
as the spiritual leader of this congregation.
85
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:22,158
We just laid new carpet
in the Activities Room.
86
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:25,130
You put 30 kids in there,
and lose their attention...
87
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,098
fruit punch all over my new carpet.
88
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,828
Please just hear me out.
89
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,870
You know how baby Jesus
was born in a manger?
90
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,369
Okay, baby Jesus was born in a manger.
91
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:40,112
Now, what if, Reverend, what if...
92
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:44,477
the barnyard animals who witnessed
the miracle birth of the son of God...
93
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,881
had a show of their own?
94
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,010
[Affirming]
95
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:52,022
But Jesus only spent
a few days in the manger...
96
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:55,521
and after Luke 2:16,
there's no mention of the animals.
97
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,628
LUANNE: Are you sure?
REVEREND: Trust me.
98
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:01,190
After he leaves the manger,
the Bible pretty much sticks with Jesus.
99
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,768
Maybe that's good, because then
the animals are kind of like us.
100
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,137
They're just waiting for Jesus
to come back.
101
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,040
And in the meantime...
102
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,478
don't you think they'd have
all sorts of crazy adventures?
103
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,717
I call it The Manger Babies.
104
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,252
We're headlining next week
in the Activities Room.
105
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,048
Manger Babies, how do you like that?
106
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,594
PEGGY: It's going to be a great show.
LUANNE: I know.
107
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,561
But now I've got so much work to do:
108
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,927
I have to write a script,
build a puppet theater...
109
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,932
learn to talk without moving my lips.
110
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,868
You can make a theater out of
that old refrigerator box in the garage.
111
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,565
I keep it pretty clean.
112
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,174
Uncle Hank, thank you.
113
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,440
Who said that?
114
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,113
You're doing a great job, Luanne.
115
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,880
DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
116
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:58,352
Thanks, guys.
But if you have any suggestions--
117
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[Men all talking at once]
118
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:04,563
DALE: You might want to spell "theater�
"R-E." It looks classier that way.
119
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,502
REVEREND: For those of you
who missed my sermon this morning...
120
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:12,436
I'd like to remind you that
spilling anything on a new carpet is a sin.
121
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,071
Now, please give a warm welcome
to Miss Luanne Platter.
122
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,134
[Applause]
123
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,306
Once upon a time...
124
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:24,810
almost two thousands of years ago...
125
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,279
our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ, was born...
126
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:30,984
in a manger.
127
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:34,553
And in that manger,
there were the cutest little animals.
128
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,823
[Manger Babies music playing]
129
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,457
This is their story.
130
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,227
After Jesus left and Herod came
131
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,568
Demanding first-born sons
132
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He cast an evil spell on them
133
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,839
Freezing everyone
134
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,678
Just lately, I bought a nativity scene
135
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,184
At a yard sale, second hand
136
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,050
They came to life, and then, Amen!
137
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,590
I met the Manger Babies
138
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:07,150
There's Obediah the donkey.
He says: Hee-haw!
139
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,888
Hosea the cat: Meow! Meow!
140
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,522
An octopus, too: Gurgle, gurgle.
141
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,295
But let's not forget a very British bird:
142
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,495
British accent)
Sir Reginald Featherbottom.
143
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,537
PENGUIN: "Charmed, I'm sure, guvnor.�
144
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,335
They are the Manger Babies
145
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,877
Getting in trouble,
the Manger Babies
146
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,605
Spreading God's message of love
147
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,579
Manger Babies
148
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:33,086
Manger Babies!
149
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:45,759
Darn it! I left a finish nail
sticking out a quarter inch.
150
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:46,924
[Whispers] Hank. Shush.
151
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,832
Today's episode: Going to the Movies.
152
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,368
Who wants to go to the movies?
153
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,876
[Southern accent] Hee-haw! I do. Hee-haw!
154
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,100
[Groaning]
155
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,513
There are five of us,
and I only have four tickets.
156
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,515
PENGUIN: One of us blokes
could sneak in, what, what!
157
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,112
CAT: [High voice] Count me out!
Isn't sneaking wrong?
158
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,988
DONKEY: Hee-haw!
Everybody's doing it. Hee-haw!
159
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,453
Octopus: [Childlike voice] Gurgle, gurgle.
160
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,757
CAT: "Meow-kay," let's go.
161
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,386
[Sings wordless melody]
162
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,263
We're going to the movies
163
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,324
[Continues singing]
164
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:25,497
Yeah, but it reflects poorly
on my craftsmanship.
165
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:29,475
HANK: That's all I'm saying.
PEGGY: You're the only one who notices.
166
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,267
[People murmuring]
167
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,083
Here you go: four tickets.
168
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,346
[Deep voice] But there are five of you.
You were trying to sneak into the movies.
169
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,221
You Manger Babies are in a lot of trouble.
170
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,291
I'm locking you in a closet.
171
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:49,852
CAT: No!
172
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:55,362
And that's why you shouldn't
sneak into the movies.
173
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:57,999
The end.
174
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,419
GIRL: The end?
175
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,968
GIRL: The end?
176
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,035
[Hemming]
177
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,303
[Children muttering]
178
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,906
BOY: Well, do they get out of the closet?
179
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,340
[Hemming]
180
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,908
Sure, I guess.
181
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,144
[Children muttering]
182
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,244
[Yawns]
183
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:16,379
How?
184
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,520
How do they get out?
185
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,549
[Hemming]
186
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,659
I'm bored.
187
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,221
[Dramatic instrumental music]
188
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:27,857
[Gasps]
189
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,698
GIRL 2: I don't understand.
190
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,497
[Scary instrumental music]
191
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,603
LUANNE: Okay, Luanne...
192
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,413
how do they get out of the closet?
193
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:42,604
[Gasps]
194
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,173
[Exclaims]
195
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,881
No, that won't work.
196
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,422
[Whispers] Jimmy the lock
with a coat hanger.
197
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,651
What? I don't... I can't...
198
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,249
[Questions]
199
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,124
[Whispers] Jimmy the lock with...
200
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:57,352
[Exclaims]
201
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,864
HANK: I'll save you, Manger Babies.
LUANNE: You will?
202
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,258
Yes.
203
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:06,329
Because I'm the assistant manager
of this movie theater.
204
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,637
I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories.
205
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,507
And you are fired.
206
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,340
CAT: We're free!
207
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,675
DONKEY: We're free!
208
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,179
[Children cheer]
209
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,345
CAT: Thank you, Assistant Manager.
210
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:22,047
"Meow" can we ever repay you?
211
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,991
By never forgetting this lesson:
212
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,527
Sneaking into the movies is wrong.
213
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,894
As wrong as spilling juice on a new carpet.
214
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,492
Bravo!
215
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:37,059
You know, Luanne really shouldn't
waste this kind of talent on church.
216
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,163
If you want, I could show her tape
to my boss at Channel 84.
217
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,266
He's always looking for
quality children's programming...
218
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,277
and home videos of things blowing up.
219
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:48,076
Luanne really could use a boost right now.
220
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,049
But I could not take advantage
of our friendship like that.
221
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:53,643
Peggy, honey, this is show business.
222
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,221
That's what friends do.
223
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:05,455
HANK: Done. All right, Bobby,
it's safe to plug her back in now.
224
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,690
[Sound of dismay]
225
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:09,860
Okay.
226
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,470
PEGGY: Another Super Bowl,
another can of Scotch guard.
227
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,271
It would be a lot simpler
if you would just ask Bill...
228
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,572
not to wipe his hands on the cushions.
229
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,113
I got a better idea.
230
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,072
You sit here.
231
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:24,708
Boomhauer, Dale,
me and Bobby will sit here.
232
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,344
We'll do a zone defense around the chips.
233
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,048
What if Bill tries scrambling
around the coffee table?
234
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:33,491
He doesn't have that kind of quickness.
Not anymore.
235
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,059
Aunt Peggy, could you
pull your car out of the garage?
236
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:41,089
Me and the Babies need to rehearse.
The TV station could call any minute.
237
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,794
They'd be crazy not to.
238
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,668
That was the best dang
Christian puppet show...
239
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,638
I have ever seen. Ever.
240
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,730
[Giggling]
241
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,770
I couldn't have done it without your help.
You saved the day.
242
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:57,312
That's why this time I wrote a part
especially for you.
243
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:01,145
That's very nice, Luanne,
but my appearance was one night only.
244
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,746
But you got to do it.
245
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,616
Who else am I gonna get to play God?
246
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,457
HANK: God?
LUANNE: Sure.
247
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,961
You were great as the hero
of my last show, so I figured...
248
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,932
why not have you play
the greatest hero of them all?
249
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,263
I tell you what, Luanne...
250
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,465
just as soon as I finish
turning beer into water...
251
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,440
I'll meet you in the garage.
252
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,669
Great!
253
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,568
[Exclaiming]
254
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,238
She made me God.
255
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:31,343
If you're God,
I guess that makes me Jesus.
256
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,749
Bobby, honey,
you really shouldn't say that.
257
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,845
That is for Luanne to decide.
258
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,917
Let there be light.
259
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,952
And it was good.
260
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,260
LUANNE: That's super.
But can we get back to the script?
261
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,459
We're at the part
where you meet your archenemy.
262
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:51,265
HANK: Bobby's G.I. Joe?
LUANNE: Joe Six Pack.
263
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:55,103
He's a drunk driver who died
in a car crash and was sent to hell.
264
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,143
He borrowed Satan's truck without asking,
trashed it, and got kicked out of hell.
265
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:02,079
And now he roams the earth,
riding buses and doing evil.
266
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:05,550
He won't call on your birthday
and throws beer bottles at your head.
267
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,882
What? He crashed a truck?
268
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,485
[Deep voice] You will feel my wrath.
269
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,282
[Sinister laughing]
270
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,522
DALE: What're you throwing out, grandpa?
271
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,535
The money I poured into
the social security system?
272
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,626
[Dale chuckles]
273
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,638
It's for Luanne's puppet show.
274
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,140
I'm playing God.
275
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:31,768
Well, maybe we ought to ask God
who's gonna win the Super Bowl.
276
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:35,178
Going to win? The game was
pre-taped six months ago...
277
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,616
in the same Nevada hangar
where they faked the moon landing.
278
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,881
Yeah, it's like that dang old Capricorn One.
279
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,149
A good movie,
but they ain't gonna fake no...
280
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:46,920
staying on the ground like that little dude,
that old Neil Armstrong.
281
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:50,894
I hope you're ready for that party, Hank,
because you only got...
282
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:55,027
four more days till the Super Bowl.
283
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:58,102
Bill, the Super Bowl is in three days.
284
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:00,197
Damn.
285
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,332
[Bill groans]
286
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:08,645
LUANNE: God's not angry on that line.
He's vengeful. Let's try it again.
287
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,274
Luanne, it's the TV station.
288
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,341
[Gasps]
289
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,043
LUANNE: Hello.
290
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,282
Hank, look how excited she is!
291
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,850
PEGGY: Just a few days ago,
she was talking...
292
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,918
like the world was coming to an end.
293
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,257
You're a good man.
294
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,627
[Deep voice] Man?
295
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:26,756
[Screams]
296
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,301
We did it!
297
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:32,032
Channel 84 is putting
Manger Babies on the air!
298
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:36,335
It's UHF, Uncle Hank: ultrahigh frequency.
299
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:40,312
Luanne, you have thrust your hands
into something wonderful this time.
300
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,680
We had better get back to work.
We got a whole hour to fill on Sunday.
301
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:47,687
That doesn't give us much time
to get ready. I mean, Sunday is...
302
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:48,944
Sunday?
303
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:52,325
Now, is that before or after
the Super Bowl?
304
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,360
During. Can you believe it?
305
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,488
They put us on
against the year's highest-rated TV event...
306
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,430
cause they know we're the one show
that can beat it.
307
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,102
It's a huge responsibility,
but I know I can do it...
308
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,269
with God on my side.
309
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,329
[Sighs]
310
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,067
[Laughs unenthusiastically]
311
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:17,074
Uncle Hank, I just realized
my octopus only has six legs.
312
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:22,214
If I call him a "sex top us,�
do you think I'll offend sensibilities?
313
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:26,155
I'm sure you'll figure it out
before Super Sunday.
314
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:30,856
I call it "Super Sunday" because that's
when they play the Super Bowl...
315
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,598
this Sunday.
316
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,789
[Affirms]
317
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:34,856
[Sighs]
318
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,962
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
I'm gonna stay home and watch the game.
319
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,405
What? But you're in my show.
320
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,338
Luanne, the Super Bowl is an event.
321
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:47,072
We're having a party. I'm the host.
322
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,341
So you mean you're not coming?
323
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,141
[Sniffling]
324
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:57,553
No, that's not what I said, exactly.
I said I'm gonna watch the game.
325
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:02,220
But it could end early due to injuries
or a terrorist attack.
326
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,626
Yeah, who knows?
327
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,357
[Laughs sheepishly]
328
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,377
You think |I want to miss the Super Bowl?
I've got enough money on this game...
329
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:12,235
You think |I want to miss the Super Bowl?
I've got enough money on this game...
330
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,774
to cover the bath I took
on the Dinah Shore Classic.
331
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:19,005
But I will sit through that puppet show
because Luanne asked me to.
332
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,814
Come on,
I'll be God some other time, like Easter.
333
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,409
That's during baseball season. Who cares?
334
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,978
Hank, Luanne believes in you.
335
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:34,019
How can you allow suffering in her world
when you have the power to prevent it?
336
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,926
Suffering is a part of every religion,
Peggy, I mean...
337
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,661
look at what the Jews have been through,
and you never hear them complaining.
338
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,907
Okay, who had
three minutes and forty seconds?
339
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,142
BOOMHAUER: Yo!
340
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,078
Well, goodbye, Hank.
Enjoy the "Selfish Bowl.�
341
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,222
Luanne, I want you to know...
342
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:10,361
if Uncle Hank let you down...
343
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,424
honey, it doesn't mean
that the world is a bad place.
344
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,967
Yes, it does.
345
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,358
[Groans]
346
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,631
DALE: Check it out! Look at that play!
347
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:20,896
[Bill cheers]
348
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,471
[Hip-hop beat on TV]
349
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,638
Made it to the commercial.
350
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:29,914
What the hell do Tina Turner's legs
have to do with auto insurance?
351
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:31,806
[All gasp]
352
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,145
HANK: Wait a minute.
353
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:37,486
This just in from the Super Bowl.
With 48 seconds left in the first quarter...
354
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,889
it's 63 degrees and partly cloudy.
355
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:43,721
Now stay tuned for the premiere
of Luanne Platter's Manger Babies.
356
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,161
What are you doing, Hank?
357
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:48,565
If I wanted to spend Super Bowl Sunday
staring at my wife...
358
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,693
I would have married Fran Tarkenton.
359
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,295
I didn't do anything.
360
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:54,095
[Cheering]
361
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,197
[Praying quietly]
362
00:17:58,844 --> 00:17:59,936
Uncle...
363
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,070
Oh.
364
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:04,981
Okay, Luanne, you're onin5, 4...
365
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,219
3, 2.
366
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,346
[Manger Babies music playing]
367
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,981
Look at this! He's broken free!
368
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,651
ALL: Go! Go!
369
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,854
DALE: Come on, man! Turn it back.
370
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,821
I didn't change it.
371
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,422
[Groans]
372
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,331
Damn, we missed it!
373
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,370
Well, at least we get to watch him
dance in the end zone.
374
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,372
That's right. Come on.
375
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,663
[Cheering]
376
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:30,933
LUANNE: Okay!
377
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,411
DALE: Come on, switch it back.
BOOMHAUER: Come on, man.
378
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:35,675
DALE: What is this?
BILL: What are we watching?
379
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:40,910
LUANNE [Mean voicel: Come on,
Manger Babies. I'll give you a ride.
380
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,510
We don't need it.
381
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,114
God is the designated driver tonight.
382
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,850
[Mean voice] God doesn't care about you.
383
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,420
How can you say that?
God does care, and He will show it.
384
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:53,788
[Moans]
385
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,968
This is getting old, Hank.
386
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:59,562
It's not me. It's this damn remote control.
387
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,574
Bill must have
dripped crumbs in it or something.
388
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,768
[Football players yelling]
389
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,572
Maybe God had a flat tire or...
390
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,840
What the hell is going on?
391
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:15,080
All I know is, this is the part
where I start thinking:
392
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,452
"Why don't they just get out of the house?"
393
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,389
LUANNE [Mean voicel: Don't be an idiot.
394
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,126
God's not coming.
395
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:24,786
He's watching the Super Bowl. Now, get in.
396
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,499
Hee-haw! We better
do what he says. Hee-haw!
397
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:32,132
Well, he is our only ride.
398
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,104
[Sentimental instrumental music]
399
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,767
HANK: Luanne, no! Don't get in the car!
400
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:40,568
[Donkey brays]
401
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:44,614
LUANNE: Hee-haw! If God doesn't get here
soon, we're all going to die.
402
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,846
PENGUIN: Maybe it's best that we do die.
403
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,580
Who wants to live in a world without God?
404
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,154
You're right.
405
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,081
Hey.
406
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:56,752
Joe Six Pack, just point your car
at those oncoming headlights...
407
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,991
and let's get this thing over with.
408
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:00,929
[Cat screaming]
409
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,729
LUANNE: Oh, my God!
HANK: [Deep voice] Yes, I have come.
410
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,603
[Inspirational instrumental music plays]
411
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:11,940
Thank you, Uncle...
Lord, we never stopped believing in you.
412
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:15,174
The Manger Babies' faith
has been rewarded.
413
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,942
You are all saved.
414
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,682
[Children cheering]
415
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,919
And as for you, Joe Six Pack...
416
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:25,514
anyone who drinks and drives
is a real jackass.
417
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,582
LUANNE: Hee-haw! Hey!
418
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,185
[Children applaud]
419
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,251
[Hank laughs]
420
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:31,888
[Children cheering]
421
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,673
So, Hank, how does it feel
doing the right thing?
422
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,209
Pretty good, I guess.
423
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:47,041
Of course, not as good as getting
to watch the end of the Super Bowl.
424
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,639
TROY AIKMAN: The Super Bowl's
always a blowout.
425
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,309
This puppet show,
it was a real knuckle-biter.
426
00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:54,716
My lord! It's Troy Aikman!
427
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:57,620
What are you doing here, son? Sir?
428
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:01,820
It's kind of a funny story. Some guys were
snapping towels in the locker room.
429
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:06,161
So I went to Bible study to get some
perspective and saw a fl yer for this show.
430
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,428
Sort of a little miracle, I guess.
431
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:12,266
You know, it was kind of a miracle
that brought me here, too.
432
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:16,332
You see, I was watching my TV,
and it started flipping channels.
433
00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:17,967
Mom, I hope you don't mind...
434
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,535
but I borrowed the batteries
from your remote control.
435
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,878
What remote control?
I don't have a remote control.
436
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,778
Sure you do, in your purse.
437
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:29,719
The universal remote that can change
a channel on any brand of television.
438
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,757
I borrowed the batteries for my Game Boy.
439
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:34,191
PEGGY: When?
BOBBY: Before the Super Bowl.
440
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:39,020
But if the remote had no batteries,
how did I...
441
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,294
[Mystical instrumental music]
442
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:47,270
Or after the Super Bowl. I don't remember.
443
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,832
[Manger Babies music playing]
444
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,189
[Theme song playing]
445
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:55,874
[Theme song playing]
446
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,269
BILL: [Cheering] That's right, come on.
447
00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:30,869
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