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1
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[Theme song playing]
2
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[Singing] "And many more!�
3
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TEACHER: Miss So up ha no us in phone!
4
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,644
Please! Now, let's all settle. Mr. Hill.
5
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We're going to sing My Bonnie.
6
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[All groaning]
7
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[Blowing note on pitch pipe]
8
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[Singing] "My Connie is a Laotian
9
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"My Connie lives next door to me
10
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"My Connie is a Laotian
11
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"And I have to go take a pee�
12
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[All laughing]
13
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[Pitch pipe sounds]
14
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TEACHER: What did I tell you two?
Bobby? Connie?
15
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This is the third time this week.
16
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I've suffered through everything
from "Old Man Liver"...
17
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,809
to "The Smellow Nose of Texas."
18
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:24,010
It's time we involved your parents.
19
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[Both gasping]
20
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,352
[Car approaching]
21
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,749
HANK: Kahn? What are you doing here?
22
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God, they frame Kahn Jr.
I'm here to grease some palms.
23
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You're here to read the gas meter, right?
That's your job?
24
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:43,469
No, I sell propane and propane accessories.
25
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,700
Bobby got in trouble, too.
I had to take off work.
26
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:49,740
Why? Where your wife?
She surrogate mother today?
27
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,471
Peggy is a substitute teacher.
28
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,847
Bobby, what's the idea
of acting up in class?
29
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"Acting out,� Mr. Hill. We call it acting out.
30
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I just sang a song parody, Dad.
Like Weird Al Yankovich.
31
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:08,491
Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out
in the late '80s...
32
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,156
after people stopped buying his records.
33
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,529
He's not worth getting into trouble over.
34
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,696
Kahn Jr., that Bobby dragging you down
like a chicken fat anchor.
35
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,934
Time out! It's all knitting together.
36
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,706
You see, Bobby and Connie's
disruptive behaviors...
37
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,577
stem from bad parental imaging at home.
38
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,015
You're saying it's my fault I'm here?
39
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,051
I won't play your blame game, Mr. Hill.
40
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:35,282
Your son mocked
a beautiful Scottish folk song.
41
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:38,425
We owe it to ourselves to find out why.
42
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,154
KAHN: Yeah, he make a good point, Hank.
43
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He says you're bad father.
44
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No, you're not bad dads.
You have "Bad-dad habits."
45
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[Hank sighing]
46
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[Clearing throat]
47
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Gentlemen, let's try
an active-listening exercise.
48
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:57,402
Kahn, I want you to tell Hank
something you like about him...
49
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,444
while Hank actively listens
to the compliment.
50
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,244
Bobby, Connie, watch and learn.
51
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,312
[Kahn growling]
52
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It's your boy's fault we're here!
53
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,249
He bad crowd! You punish him!
54
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,986
You don't worry about Bobby.
You just punish Kahn Jr.
55
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,328
She's the mastermind behind all this.
56
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,030
There will be punishment!
57
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,230
Darn right there'll be punishment.
58
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,037
Give me that!
59
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,043
Joseph says Bobby's in the doghouse.
60
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,548
How you gonna punish him, Hank?
61
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,783
Well, sir, that boy's gonna
clean my rain gutters.
62
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,086
Well, whatever works for you.
63
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:50,255
I believe a child benefits more
from the psychological approach.
64
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,662
When I need to correct Joseph,
I tell him he's adopted.
65
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,098
[Dale laughing]
66
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:59,332
Yeah, my dad used to punish me
by telling me I was a girl.
67
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,238
He used to make me wear dresses.
68
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,377
Pretty, pretty dresses.
69
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,409
Let's go, Bobby. It's debt-paying time.
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00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,712
[Door opens and closes]
71
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,615
[Birds singing]
72
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,888
I wonder what old Kahn
has in store for Kahn Jr.
73
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:20,587
What the...
74
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:23,686
Kahn, what are you doing?
Mowing the lawn is a privilege...
75
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,959
not a punishment.
76
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,625
I'm putting fear of God into Kahn Jr.
77
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,701
She learn what it like to be you.
78
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,432
You know, it's that kind of
permissive parenting...
79
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,441
that forfeited your country
to the Communists.
80
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:40,836
[Groaning]
81
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,349
[Birds chirping]
82
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,916
Baby birds! Where's your mommy?
83
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[Screaming]
84
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,659
Stop that! I was being nice to them!
85
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,995
[Thumping on roof]
86
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:03,430
That's a roof, not American Bandstand!
87
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,105
Hank, let him dance. He's happy.
88
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,773
[Bobby groaning]
89
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,074
[Bobby moaning]
90
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,609
Tell you what, baby bird.
91
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,007
Hi.
92
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,745
A bird pecked my head.
93
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:20,877
[Exclaims]
94
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,547
Parents are such a drag.
95
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,523
Yeah. They're always treating us like kids.
96
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,695
We're not children.
We're preteens, dammit!
97
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,966
Let's get out of this dump.
Do something fun.
98
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:39,105
Yeah, as long as we're back for supper.
My mom"s fixing pork pockets.
99
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:41,033
Okay. It's a deal.
100
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,937
[Romantic instrumental music playing]
101
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:46,738
[Cheerful instrumental music]
102
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,212
Let's boogie!
103
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,917
CONNIE: Why are you stopping?
BOBBY: We gotta get Joseph.
104
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:57,013
I don't like Joseph.
He threw a dodge ball at me once.
105
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,559
Well, I'm sure he had a good reason.
106
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,390
[Bicycle approaching]
107
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:06,659
JOSEPH: You wanna do something?
CONNIE: Bobby already has plans with me.
108
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,929
BOBBY: Yeah. Want to come?
JOSEPH: Sure.
109
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,159
[Grunting]
110
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,062
What do you guys want to do?
111
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:16,405
We could go press the crosswalk buttons
and run away.
112
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,466
Cool!
113
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,376
Bobby and I don't like to do that.
114
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,244
Well, Bobby and me do.
115
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,614
We could go to the library and talk.
116
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:24,741
Yeah!
117
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,653
Why don't we just go back to school
and wait for tomorrow?
118
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,756
Hey, come on, guys!
119
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,350
Don't make this a contest
for my friendship.
120
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:37,590
Now, I say we go to Electric Town,
and watch TV.
121
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,924
[Joseph and Connie buzzing]
122
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:41,759
[Exclaiming]
123
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,065
We could go to the caves.
124
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,502
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
125
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:49,236
Come on, guys!
It'll be like sneaking into an R movie.
126
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,238
You've been to an R movie?
127
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:55,680
Yeah. But the only person naked
was Harvey Keitel.
128
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,572
We should go for it.
129
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:03,255
JOSEPH: The caves are probably dark.
Let's get butane lighters.
130
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:06,482
My dad says butane's a bastard gas.
131
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,692
CONNIE: I'm getting scented candles.
132
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,658
This one smells like leather pants.
133
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,264
I got tube chips and spray cheese.
134
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,694
They keep.
135
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,797
I got glow wands...
136
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,367
and pantyhose for the lady.
137
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:29,213
HANK: What the hell are you doing?
BOOMHAUER: Getting an old tan, man.
138
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,307
We just cleaned your gutters for you.
139
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,648
But that was Bobby's punishment.
140
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,520
Maybe you'd call it punishment.
I call it "funishment.�
141
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,149
Where is Bobby?
142
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:42,104
KAHN: Hey, Kahn Jr.! Where are you?
143
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:42,185
KAHN: Hey, Kahn Jr.! Where are you?
144
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,423
Now it's starting to make some sense.
145
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,033
[Mower engine running]
146
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:52,165
She did it again, Kahn.
Your little siren led my boy astray.
147
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,899
Your skinhead gone, too?
148
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,409
I tell you what, when I do find those kids...
149
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,444
they're gonna be in real trouble now.
150
00:07:58,511 --> 00:07:59,979
DALE: Have you seen Joseph?
151
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:03,812
He's not back with my Pick 6 numbers,
and I'm starting to worry.
152
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,079
I can't win it if I'm not in it.
153
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,588
JOSEPH: Yeah, the entrance
is in the weeds somewhere.
154
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,668
ALL: The caves!
155
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,377
Hey! You shouldn't go in there.
156
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:39,043
Yeah, right. Just play with your toy, Randy.
157
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,518
Later, loser.
158
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:44,422
Wait. Maybe Randy's right.
159
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,557
Bobby, if you're scared,
you can stay out here.
160
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,823
You can pretend it's headquarters.
161
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:54,065
RANDY: You want to watch me
fly my plane?
162
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,032
BOBBY: Wait for me.
RANDY: You'll be sorry!
163
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,803
You'll be... Ow!
164
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:06,011
KAHN: First we look for Kahn Jr.
at Contemporary Art Museum.
165
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,447
Sorry, Arlen doesn't have one.
166
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,347
Let's get one thing straight.
167
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:14,080
You may be driving,
but I'm leading this posse...
168
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:17,055
and if forced,
I will commandeer the vehicle.
169
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:18,849
[Peggy stuttering]
170
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,950
PEGGY: Do you see them?
171
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,724
[Car accelerating]
172
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:26,130
Please take pedal from metal.
They probably at the mall.
173
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,726
My heart is racing here, Minh.
When my heart races, my Buick follows.
174
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,670
Calm down, for Peggy Hill.
Look at my hand.
175
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,397
Still as a Monet water lily.
176
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,102
Well, being calm comes natural
to you Buddhists.
177
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,736
So what if Connie's run away?
178
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,838
She'll just come back
as a grasshopper or sea horse!
179
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,511
I'm so sorry, Minh.
I'm just a little on the edge.
180
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,952
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
181
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,353
Hey, look at this!
182
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,387
CONNIE: "The Bone yard."
183
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,923
CONNIE: It's written in ancient English.
BOBBY: What's "The Bone yard"?
184
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,828
I can't remember.
185
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,870
It's either the place
where old people go to die...
186
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,237
or young people go to make out.
187
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,677
What if you're wrong,
and it's where young people go to die...
188
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,839
and old people go to make out?
189
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,614
KAHN: I told you! Kahn Jr. not there.
190
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,476
[Kahn exclaims]
191
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,021
Kahn Jr. go there!
192
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:26,757
BOBBY: No American child
would run away to a sheet-music store.
193
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:30,057
They do if they want to hide from
hillbilly parent.
194
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,724
Last place you look, hillbilly.
195
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:39,968
[Babies crying on TV]
196
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,574
I thought you and Minh were looking
for Bobby and Connie.
197
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,637
PEGGY: Minh decided she would rather
look for them in a taxi.
198
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,240
I am such a jumble.
199
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,408
Aunt Peggy, why don't you sit down
with the TV for a minute...
200
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,715
and clear your head?
201
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,755
Okay, but for just a moment.
202
00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,555
LUANNE: Guess what?
Monsignor Martinez rented a sports car...
203
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,062
in the name of those little babies.
204
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,028
[In Spanish]
205
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,099
[Explosion on TV]
206
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,835
[Bobby groaning]
207
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,867
I don't think I can make it.
208
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:19,435
CONNIE: Yes, you can, Bobby.
JOSEPH: Grab onto my shirt.
209
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:22,078
[Bobby grunting]
210
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,714
[Joseph exclaiming]
211
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,315
[Joseph panting]
212
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:30,753
JOSEPH: We did it! We're in the Bone yard.
213
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,351
[Connie whooping]
214
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:35,584
[Bobby grunts]
215
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,495
CONNIE: Who's Frampton?
216
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,238
JOSEPH: Score! Playboy!
217
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,606
Great! I haven't seen this one.
218
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:53,709
I hope there's an article by Norman Mailer.
219
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,336
Check this out.
220
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:59,175
"Our unabashed dictionary
defines 'heavy petting'...
221
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:03,116
"as when things get out of control at a
Weight Watchers' meeting."
222
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,048
[Both laughing uproariously]
223
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,082
[Bobby laughing uncertainly]
224
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,120
He doesn't get it.
225
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,220
I'm starting to get things.
226
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,361
[Tense instrumental music]
227
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:19,298
I thought the kids would be here,
sure as the world.
228
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,802
I'll be dipped!
229
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:25,542
Hey, Randy, have you seen
Bobby, and Joseph, and that Kahn Jr.?
230
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,273
Maybe, maybe not.
What are you gonna do?
231
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,009
We're gonna tan their hides.
232
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:34,111
They're in the caves. I did the right thing.
I told them not to go.
233
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,781
You heard him, Hank.
We have no legal responsibility.
234
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,119
The caves?
235
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,818
Oh, my God!
236
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,826
KAHN: Wait! What's the problem?
That's good news, right?
237
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,421
Now we know where they are.
238
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,195
DALE: No, Kahn. Heap bad news.
239
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,799
The caves are where
Arlen teenagers go to make...
240
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,839
well, whoopee.
241
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:55,931
[Joseph giggling]
242
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,238
Check it out!
243
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,972
BOBBY: It must have fallen off
some woman.
244
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,046
JOSEPH: Here, Connie, you could use this.
CONNIE: Thanks.
245
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:08,587
Hey, Connie! I found you this.
246
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,114
Skoal. Yuck!
247
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,257
And I wrote you a song.
248
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,523
[Humming]
249
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,123
[Unenthusiastically] Yeah, that's great.
250
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,362
BOBBY: Dang!
251
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,302
CONNIE: That was our last candle.
252
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,807
CONNIE: I'm scared.
JOSEPH: Me, too.
253
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,037
BOBBY: Me, three. Wait.
254
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:34,307
We've got glow wands.
255
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,583
[Dejected instrumental music]
256
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,612
[Car approaching]
257
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:43,579
[Dale panting]
258
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,717
DALE: Those are their bikes.
They're inside, all right.
259
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,988
Oh, God. I can't see.
260
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,588
I can't see!
261
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,464
We're all gonna die!
262
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,232
Dale, you have your sunglasses on.
263
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,033
Gotcha.
264
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,402
Tell you what, Dale.
265
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:06,173
Why don't you go tell Peggy and Minh
we're here, so they don't worry?
266
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,845
I notice my wife's name was not
among those mentioned.
267
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:15,286
Am I to assume Nancy
should continue worrying?
268
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,845
You go now!
269
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,758
DALE: Mayday!
270
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,960
[Dale yelling]
271
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,956
The kids are in the caves.
272
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:32,028
My goodness! That is where half of Arlen's
unplanned pregnancies begin.
273
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,206
Hank and Kahn have gone in
to pry them apart.
274
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:40,039
Dear Lord, let them find those kids
before I am in-laws with Minh.
275
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,236
[Spraying]
276
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,041
Maybe we should get back now.
277
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,949
Yeah, I guess.
278
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,832
No, it's this way, isn't it?
279
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:49,879
No, it's this way, isn't it?
280
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,957
JOSEPH: No, we came in that way.
281
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,149
I think.
282
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,126
Oh, no.
283
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,496
Yeah, we're lost.
284
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,532
Take me to Bone yard.
285
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,508
HANK: Hold on a second.
I don't remember which way to go.
286
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,508
It's been a while.
I need to get my bearings, here.
287
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,673
While you get your "bearings�...
288
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,149
my child bearing your child's child.
289
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:19,207
[Groans]
290
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:20,309
[Stammering]
291
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,252
I think it's this way.
292
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,556
[Bobby munching]
293
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:30,426
I can't stop. It's out of my control.
294
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,864
Way to go! We're out of food!
295
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,368
BOBBY: I'm sorry.
When I'm upset, I get hungry.
296
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,533
We're all upset, Bobby.
297
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:44,133
BOBBY: But you're upset together,
and I'm upset all by myself.
298
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:47,002
I see things clearly now.
299
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,241
I'm gonna grow up
without anyone to love...
300
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:53,115
and die friendless and alone
like Weird Al Yankovich.
301
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,912
I won't stand in your way.
When the time comes...
302
00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,853
I want you to eat me.
303
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,090
You'd do that for us?
304
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,027
Of course, I would. You're my best friends.
305
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,728
My body is my gift to you.
306
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:11,594
But it wouldn't have to be,
if you'd left us some of those chips.
307
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,797
Bobby, that is so kind...
308
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,067
and brave. Thank you.
309
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,704
I'm doing it for your children, too.
310
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,842
We have to think of them.
311
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,376
NANCY: I'm starting to worry.
312
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,579
Hank and Kahn
should've found them by now.
313
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,179
Don't worry, Nancy. I'm sure they're safe...
314
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:33,817
and not exploring each other's bodies.
315
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,927
DALE: Even if they are,
there's nothing that lovers do...
316
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,226
that could possibly take this long.
317
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:40,790
Am I right?
318
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,598
JOHN REDCORN: Yes, if you only consider
your own needs.
319
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,900
Oh, gosh! I think I need a beer.
320
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,873
Honey, you want a beer?
321
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,467
DALE: Yes.
JOHN REDCORN: Yes.
322
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,480
How did he know I wanted a beer?
323
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,140
[Both grunting]
324
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,152
Too narrow. Must go back.
325
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:04,520
We've gotta go forward.
Come on! Shove me, dammit!
326
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,017
[Kahn grunting]
327
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,992
[Both shrieking]
328
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,720
[Kahn exclaiming]
329
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,695
Now I sticky with beer.
330
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,923
This the worst birthday I ever had.
331
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,897
I didn't know it was your birthday.
332
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,734
I'm 41.
333
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,410
You know, I think we're lost.
334
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,207
You think so?
335
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,211
Dale will bring the fire department.
They'll find us.
336
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:35,119
That's great! All hopes for survival
pinned on Dale Gribble.
337
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,948
I'm gonna die like a
English Patient girlfriend.
338
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,525
Long, painful, boring death!
339
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,722
Well, if we're lost,
the kids are probably lost, too.
340
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,425
You make me nervous.
That Joseph with Kahn Jr.
341
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,728
His whole family
like a Tennessee Williams play.
342
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,861
Well, Joseph's a good boy.
343
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:55,631
Say, why aren't you nervous
about my Bobby?
344
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,642
Until puberty, he do no worse
than a hickey.
345
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,611
Besides, I know he a good boy.
346
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:04,079
I appreciate that, Kahn, but I tell you what.
347
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:07,245
Many a good boy's gone bad
in the Bone yard.
348
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,514
I shouldn't be telling you this...
349
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:13,082
but it's where a lot of us
got to second base for the first time.
350
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:14,888
What you call second base?
351
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:16,859
[Laughing nervously]
352
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,795
Well, where I come from...
353
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,123
[Hank clears throat]
354
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,690
It means...
355
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:23,792
Well...
356
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,229
[Voice cracking]
357
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:30,640
Meaning that... You see, when two people
are attracted to each other...
358
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,605
well, your hand...
359
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,375
Don't explain a home run,
you'll have a heart attack.
360
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,780
In Laos we call it pa son pate.
361
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,709
"Pa son pate."
362
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:42,687
I like it. It sounds clean.
363
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,581
We need more good euphemisms like that
in this country.
364
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:50,994
So, tell me,
where did you hit your first pa son pate?
365
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:54,531
Louangphrabang City. Wild town, man.
366
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,399
Spring break,
and two out of three guys are monks.
367
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,438
Try not get some pa son pate.
368
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,464
[Both laughing]
369
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:06,237
[Laughing continues]
370
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,945
Hey, Bobby! That sounds like your dad.
371
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,045
And that sounds like your dad, Connie.
372
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,822
It can't be.
They're not yelling at each other.
373
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,352
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
374
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,688
[All screaming]
375
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,495
BOBBY: Dad!
HANK: Bobby!
376
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:31,832
Kahn Jr.!
377
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,704
[Happy instrumental music playing]
378
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,635
Hello, Joseph.
379
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,109
Hey, Mr. Hill.
380
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,407
KAHN: Well, now we all together.
381
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,848
Sit back and relax.
Wait for Dale Gribble to save us.
382
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,721
Son, stop that.
This is a desperate situation.
383
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,655
Besides, it's littering.
384
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,531
It's already littered, Dad.
385
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,195
Somebody else dropped it before us...
386
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,568
from up there.
387
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,331
Hey, there is a hole up there. Look.
388
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,536
That could be our way out!
389
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,107
Hey, hold your fire up there!
390
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,706
BOOMHAUER: What're you doing
in the old... Hank...
391
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,375
...doing down there in the Bone yard?
392
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:22,012
...get down in there, don't wander around,
what's wrong with you, man?
393
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:25,991
Boomhauer, I can't understand a word
you're saying!
394
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,993
Must be the echo! Just get
the fire department to lower a rope!
395
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,929
BOOMHAUER: Hey, Hank, ten-four to go
to lower that rope.
396
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,893
[All exclaiming]
397
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,169
My little golden child!
398
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:41,838
[Both sighing]
399
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,174
Okay, Hank, put Bobby's bike in the trunk...
400
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,707
and buckle him into the back seat,
facing us, so we both can watch him.
401
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,277
Now, Peggy, he's not a baby anymore.
402
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,483
He's a preteen.
He and Joseph rode their bikes here.
403
00:20:58,557 --> 00:20:59,922
They can ride them home.
404
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,289
Thanks, Dad.
405
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,889
Connie, you need a lift?
406
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,989
Yeah, Connie. You want a lift?
407
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,962
Kahn Jr., you come with me.
408
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,932
We go get ice cream and tetanus shot.
409
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,743
I think Connie likes you.
410
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,142
[Joseph mutters]
411
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,005
She likes you.
412
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:25,445
The minute you said we could eat you,
she was yours.
413
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,850
Well, maybe she likes both of us.
414
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:32,281
Yeah, women have trouble
choosing between guys sometimes.
415
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:35,684
They like to have their cake, and eat it, too.
416
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,293
I hear you.
417
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,225
BOBBY: Hey, Joseph.
JOSEPH: Yeah?
418
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,826
What were you eating under there?
419
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,426
Under where?
420
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,737
BOBBY: You were eating underwear!
421
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,884
JOSEPH: Shut up!
BOBBY: Boxers or briefs?
422
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,118
JOSEPH: You are such a goof!
423
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,268
JOSEPH: You are such a goof!
424
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:52,401
[Both laughing]
425
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,879
BOBBY: Boxers or briefs?
426
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,947
[Theme song playing]
427
00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:29,574
KAHN: Long, painful, boring death!
428
00:22:29,624 --> 00:22:34,174
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