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1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:03,233
[Motor starts feebly]
2
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:10,305
[Sighs]
3
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,309
[Motor accelerates]
4
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:15,841
[Bill stammers]
5
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,714
Wait a minute. There!
6
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,612
One of the leaves just moved.
7
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,121
You're shoving it with the nozzle, Bill.
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,057
Well, that's what you get
for buying a Japanese leaf-blower.
9
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,519
It's built for blowing
those little bonsai bushes...
10
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,257
and cherry blossoms.
11
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:34,198
For crying out loud, it's 5:30.
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,037
Will you punks turn off that racket-maker?
13
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,573
It's called a leaf-blower, Pops.
14
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,770
Runs on a newfangled device
called the gasoline engine.
15
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:44,834
[All laughing]
16
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:49,279
What the hell's wrong
with using a rake, you lazy punks?
17
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:50,942
A rake, you say?
18
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,453
I never heard of a rake. Have you, Bill?
19
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,546
Nope, must have been before our time.
20
00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:01,390
I tell you what, man. I seen a dang old
rake over at that there Smithsonian...
21
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:05,227
next to Lincoln's hat and Archie's chair,
dang old caveman section.
22
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:08,929
Don't you cuss at me, Jimmy Dean.
I'll set my dog on you.
23
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,560
[Dog yelps]
24
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,473
HANK: See ya, Pops.
25
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,977
Keep watching Touched By An Angel.
26
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,511
[Theme song playing]
27
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,100
[Hank laughs]
28
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:52,077
HANK: Here comes the shut-in.
29
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,504
Lucky kid.
30
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:56,675
The doctor says getting chicken pox
at the age of 12...
31
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,344
could cause sterility in weaker children.
32
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:05,187
DALE: My Joseph better not be sterile.
I need my seed to live on.
33
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,990
Certain plans of mine
require additional Gribbles.
34
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,226
HANK: Bobby, I'm proud of you.
35
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,332
Getting over the chicken pox
is a milestone.
36
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:18,235
So to celebrate,
you can do anything you want.
37
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:22,070
[Weakly] How about we go
to the Family Fun Center?
38
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,368
[Weakly] Yay! The Family Fun Center.
39
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,972
They have go-carts and skeeball...
40
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,609
[Wheezing] and mini-golf.
41
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:36,313
I like their blood-pressure machine.
Can we, Dad?
42
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,984
[Microphone feedback screeching
in distance]
43
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,952
Oh, boy! There goes that rock band again.
44
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,154
[Hank groans]
45
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:47,861
That's not rock.
It's okay if you only know three chords...
46
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:50,198
but, God, put them in the right order.
47
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,501
That noise has been
giving Nancy headaches all week.
48
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:56,873
Then yesterday,
her back broke out in scratch marks.
49
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,576
Well, I'll go over and straighten them out.
50
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:16,419
[Hank grumbling]
51
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:17,486
Yuck!
52
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,961
I wonder if that music
is what killed this grass.
53
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:22,658
[Drum roll]
54
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:23,926
[Feedback]
55
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,306
HANK: Fellas, could I
have your attention, please?
56
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,776
Wow! Cane Skretteburg!
57
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,606
You're that 12th-grader
who put "Don't" on all the stop signs.
58
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,376
CANE: Peace.
BOBBY: Wow!
59
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:39,848
Fellas, my name is Hank Hill,
and I'm the block captain.
60
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,981
Now, it's not that I don't like music,
it's just that--
61
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,582
[Synthesizer repeating Hank's words]
62
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,588
Now cut that out. This is serious.
63
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,490
My Lord!
64
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,128
You've got five plugs in one outlet, here.
65
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,033
Does your father know you're doing this?
66
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,502
My dad's dead.
67
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:58,594
[Hank mutters]
68
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:02,199
I'm sorry, I didn't know. My condolences.
69
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,605
Does your mother know you're doing this?
70
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,908
My mom's in prison for killing my dad.
71
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,106
[Boys laugh]
72
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,411
Okay, I get it. You're joking.
73
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:13,715
Well, I've got a sense of humor.
I laugh at Tony Danza.
74
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:17,519
Of course, if you aren't joking,
I feel bad and I apologize.
75
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,117
[Synthesizer repeating Hank's words]
76
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,693
All right, that's it.
77
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,558
HANK: I'm gonna count to three--
CANE: One, two, three!
78
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:27,998
[Hard rock music starts]
79
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:30,196
[Shouting] I'm not horsing around here!
80
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,667
Lucky for you,
I don't have time for this right now!
81
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,538
Come on, Bobby.
Let's go to the Fun Center!
82
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,172
CANE: Fun Center! Fun Center!
83
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,645
BOBBY: Fun Center! Fun Center!
84
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,559
[Game beeping]
85
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,083
[Both grunting]
86
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:05,000
Please, Dad. Can we please play paintball?
87
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,832
Now hold on a minute.
88
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:11,705
Let's see. They give you kids guns
and let you shoot at each other?
89
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,644
Yeah, okay.
90
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,813
[Birds chirping]
91
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,543
[Sighs]
92
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,883
Kids will be out there an hour or two.
93
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,948
HANK: We can get in some nice, relaxed--
DALE: Ball guy.
94
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,664
[Men grunting]
95
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:31,856
[Groaning]
96
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:33,923
Dad!
97
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,628
These older guys cornered us in a hole...
98
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,631
and they kept firing and firing.
99
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:40,832
[Coughs]
100
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,405
They made us eat leaves.
101
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,178
What? Who did this to you?
102
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,709
Cane Skretteburg!
103
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,183
Yeah, I'm a singer.
104
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:55,616
Got my own band.
Playing next week at the Park 'n' Ride.
105
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,747
Wow!
106
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,689
This is a really good Xerox of you.
107
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,486
HANK: Hey, you.
108
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:04,690
What is wrong with you,
picking on little kids like that?
109
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:09,531
How would you like it if someone bigger
and stronger shot you up, you little freak?
110
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,433
Cane Skretteburg has never been shot.
111
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:12,938
BOYS: Damn right.
112
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,408
And the first guy to do it
is not gonna be some fat old desk jockey.
113
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,875
Desk jockey?
114
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:21,671
I am a finely tuned ex-high-school athlete.
115
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:26,719
I spent four years holding guys like you
upside down over toilets.
116
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,653
I don't care how many guys
you held in the men's room.
117
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,623
You still can't beat us.
118
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:35,127
What do you say? You want to teach
some punks a little respect?
119
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,959
BILL: Yeah.
DALE: Very little.
120
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:39,788
REFEREE: Okay.
121
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:43,803
Your goal is to capture the blue flag
from over there, and bring it back here.
122
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,770
When you get hit, you're dead.
123
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:46,862
[Whistling]
124
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,834
HANK: All right, men. Let's paint some ass.
125
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,944
[Instrumental military music]
126
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,306
I think we're closing in on them.
127
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:58,010
Only talk if you have something
important to say.
128
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,074
BILL: Okay.
129
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,580
I got some important news in the mail
this morning.
130
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,127
Did you know that,
thanks to Colonial Valley...
131
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:10,720
I can purchase term life insurance
for only pennies a month?
132
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,925
Boy, I'm glad I opened that immediately.
133
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,025
DALE: You gonna do it, Bill?
BILL: I can't afford not to.
134
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,099
[Hank shushing]
135
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:21,069
HANK: This is it, guys.
Everybody hunker down.
136
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,336
[All grunting]
137
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,568
[Bill moaning]
138
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,304
[Bill's pants ripping]
139
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:30,012
[Sighs] Okay, men.
This is no time to go easy on these punks.
140
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,915
That's the mistake their parents made.
141
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,009
CANE: They're over here.
142
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,214
I heard the bald guy split his pants.
143
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,916
Drop your weapons
or suffer the consequences!
144
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,220
[All exclaiming]
145
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:45,695
HANK: What? We lost the game already?
CANE: March, prisoners.
146
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,732
Now, wait a minute.
No one told us anything about prisoners.
147
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,702
Where's that damn ref?
148
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,506
CANE: Halt. Attention, golfers.
149
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,871
We have captured your comrades!
150
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:58,536
[Golfer greets Hank]
151
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,373
Keep your eyes on the ball.
152
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:05,242
Nothing going on here.
Just teaching some punks a lesson.
153
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,648
That's my dad.
154
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,777
CANE: On your knees, prisoners!
155
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,350
It's the rules. You're not cheaters, are you?
156
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,151
[Instrumental patriotic music]
157
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,095
[Groaning]
158
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,990
These kinds of games
go back and forth, like basketball.
159
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,999
They're in the lead now,
but we're coming back.
160
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,102
[Exclaiming]
161
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,299
[Raving]
162
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,137
Wait a minute.
You can't just execute my men.
163
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,274
Later, Pops.
164
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,706
"Pops"?
165
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,646
[Boys laughing]
166
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,182
[Hank gasping]
167
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,176
[Gasps]
168
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,413
[Protesting]
169
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,359
God, how humiliating.
170
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,006
[Golf balls hitting metal]
171
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:50,053
[Golf balls hitting metal]
172
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,795
[Crickets chirping]
173
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,465
[Hank sighs]
174
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,237
Later, Pops.
175
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,529
[Gasping]
176
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,135
[Boys laughing]
177
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:03,899
[Moaning]
178
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,209
[Birds chirping]
179
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,376
[Lighter clicking]
180
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,018
HANK: Afternoon, everybody.
181
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,047
[Bill stammers]
182
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,854
Who wants a cold one?
You want a cold one?
183
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,754
Got some cold ones here. They're cold.
184
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,461
That sure is cold, all right.
185
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,667
Maybe I should"ve brought mittens.
186
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,725
[Chuckles]
187
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,131
[Others chuckling tentatively]
188
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,164
BOOMHAUER: Yeah.
189
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,039
[Boomhauer mumbling]
190
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,176
My dang old mittens, man.
191
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,576
[Sobbing]
192
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:45,346
How long are we going
to keep up this false charade?
193
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:47,812
�Cha-rahd"? Man.
194
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:51,050
I tell you what.
That word's pronounced "charade.�
195
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,791
I need a cold one.
196
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,327
You want a cold one?
197
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:57,295
[Repeatedly] Here's a cold one for you.
198
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,894
I hope you're all happy.
There's no cold ones left for me.
199
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,900
Open up your eyes, man.
You're holding a beer.
200
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:09,340
You call this beer? "Guatemalica"?
201
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:12,177
HANK: Who bought this stuff?
BILL: Not me.
202
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,176
Of course not. Bill, buy beer?
203
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:17,342
No need to do that
when you got friends to mooch off of.
204
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,511
[Protesting] Some friends you are.
205
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,317
When my wife left me
'cause I was lazy and dependent...
206
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:25,153
did even one of you find me a new one? No.
207
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,193
Stop it.
208
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,285
I can't stand fighting.
209
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,696
Yeah, we know that.
You showed that on the paintball field.
210
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,563
I am not a coward.
211
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,624
[Dale sobbing]
212
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,135
[Bill groaning]
213
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,095
[Sobbing]
214
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,302
Dang old bully, man, y'all.
215
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,176
[Music playing on TV]
216
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,277
[Exclaims] What are you doing?
217
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,512
I'm helping Bobby look like Cane.
218
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:56,755
BOBBY: He's so cool. He said I could be
the Stubborn Stains' groupie.
219
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,222
The word is "roadie,� Bobby.
220
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,085
He meant "roadie.�
221
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,395
At least, I hope to God.
222
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,920
[Peggy humming]
223
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,133
[Rock music playing in distance]
224
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,192
Hank.
225
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,033
For goodness sake,
just put on your glasses.
226
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,299
Only old people need glasses to read.
227
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:20,135
I use mine to drive and run and jump.
228
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,477
Hank, I am giving you a look.
229
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,344
[Hesitating]
230
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,380
Okay.
231
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,287
[Peggy humming]
232
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,162
[Rock music grows louder]
233
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,223
[Hank groans]
234
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,603
[Feedback screeching]
235
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,307
[Hank yelling]
236
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,036
[Hard rock instrumental music]
237
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:53,835
[Yells]
238
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,612
[Boys laughing]
239
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:00,983
[Guffawing]
240
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:02,744
[Groans]
241
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,246
[Laughing]
242
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,614
[Men shouting]
243
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:08,483
[Guffaws]
244
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,619
[Exclaiming]
245
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:14,656
[Guffaws]
246
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,391
[Screaming]
247
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,534
[Hank screaming]
248
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:24,800
[Gasps]
249
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,613
[Ominous instrumental music]
250
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:32,207
[Yelling]
251
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:33,875
[Moaning]
252
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,577
[Shouting]
253
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,222
HANK: What is it?
PEGGY: Those kids.
254
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:42,118
HANK: I can't take it anymore.
PEGGY: So tell them to knock it off.
255
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,993
[Stuttering] Who, me?
256
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,698
I've already got my slippers off.
257
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,267
[Sighs] Maybe you should tell them.
258
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:54,263
Have you forgotten who you are?
You are Hank freaking Hill...
259
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:58,838
the man who won the Texas Propane
Association Blue Flame of Valor Award.
260
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:02,539
The man who drove raccoon after raccoon
out of our attic...
261
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,209
armed only with a broom handle
and a pillowcase.
262
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:09,518
The man whose sperm struggled through
that tiny urethra God cursed you with...
263
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,353
to create our wonderful son.
264
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:14,959
Now, you go back out there,
and get yourself a rematch.
265
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,252
[Sighs]
266
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,764
You really think
we could beat them this time?
267
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,562
Well, I know a few raccoons who'd say:
268
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:24,796
"Hank Hill can do anything
he puts his mind to.�
269
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,195
[Hank hems]
270
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,262
Anything?
271
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,335
[Bed creaking in distance]
272
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,436
[Gasps]
273
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,777
[Yelling] Dad, the raccoons are back.
274
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,077
Rematch? I thought we agreed
never to discuss...
275
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,556
the horrors that we saw
on the killing fields of the Fun Center.
276
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:48,686
This is not over.
We're not losers, and we're not quitters.
277
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,492
Those paintballs really hurt, don't they?
278
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,533
I mean, I'm just saying
what everybody thinks, right?
279
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:58,366
The way I see it,
we're at a critical moment here.
280
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:02,170
Is this when we start turning into
the weird old guys of the block...
281
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,209
who can't open up their doors...
282
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,474
without finding a flaming fudge bag
on the mat?
283
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,215
Or do we fight back?
284
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,514
BILL: Yeah. I think we should fight.
285
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,814
BILL: We fight back a lot hard, too.
286
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,354
[All muttering]
287
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,583
[Hard rock music playing in garage]
288
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:21,787
[Music volume interrupts]
289
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,659
[Cane's band playing acoustically]
290
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:26,321
[Music stops]
291
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,930
Rematch. Tomorrow. Noon.
292
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,632
If you got any guts, you'll be there.
293
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,003
[Scoffs] Sorry, Pops. My car broke down.
294
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,866
[Hank grunts]
295
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,636
[Engine starts]
296
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,540
HANK: Rematch. Tomorrow. Noon.
297
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,947
If you've got any guts, you'll be there.
298
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,214
BILL: Yeah.
DALE: All right, men. Let's go.
299
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,483
I'm gonna get those guys.
300
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,689
[Hard rock music playing in garage]
301
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:59,722
Well, at least this time
one of us got a shot off.
302
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,832
Sorry, Bill.
303
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,243
[Boomhauer grunts]
304
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,505
Yup per.
305
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:18,540
Yup.
306
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:20,675
[Sighs]
307
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:21,977
Yup.
308
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,920
Yes, sirree.
309
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,184
Then it's agreed. We're old.
310
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:31,986
Get used to it.
You're in for the downhill ride of your life.
311
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:33,522
[Bill stammers]
312
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,226
With Colonial Valley...
313
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:39,169
you can get $40,000
of stroke coverage just for signing up.
314
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,933
That's not chump change.
315
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:44,602
And you can never be denied coverage
based on what you eat.
316
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,139
Well, I guess I'd better check this out.
317
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,706
It's never too early to think about dying.
318
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,273
[Cane shouting]
319
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:54,217
CANE: Somebody needs a touch up.
320
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,277
[Exclaims]
321
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,049
[Rock music playing in car]
322
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,113
[Cane yells]
323
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,917
HANK: Those damn kids.
324
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,771
We said we were old.
What do they want from us?
325
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:02,954
We said we were old.
What do they want from us?
326
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,291
It's just kids having their fun, Hank.
327
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:09,630
Don't try to figure them out,
they can't be figured.
328
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:14,071
Just shake your fist at them like this.
They won't come back.
329
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,700
[Whooping] Looks like
they want a second coat!
330
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,340
[Tires screeching]
331
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,474
CANE: All right, ladies!
332
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:25,540
[Bill groans]
333
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:29,083
I thought you said
they wouldn't come back.
334
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,317
If I could understand teenagers...
335
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:34,223
I wouldn't get my mailbox
knocked over every week.
336
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,085
[Hank grunts]
337
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,722
HANK: Maybe that's it.
POPS: What's it?
338
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:43,197
If we don't want to end up
feeble and helpless like Pops...
339
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,737
we've got to do what he never did:
340
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,274
understand the mind of a teenager.
341
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:53,403
Observe its habits, learn its ways.
That's how we beat those punks.
342
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,879
[All agreeing]
343
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,181
Who's Pops?
344
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,145
[Recruit sobbing]
345
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:01,414
[Clipper buzzing]
346
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,617
[Recruits laughing]
347
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,892
"Teenagers can be so cruel.�
348
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:13,892
[Military instrumental music]
349
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,695
Okay, Pimples, hop on up.
350
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,971
LUANNE: Buckley,
I'm going to Cane's concert...
351
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,370
as his special guest, not his girlfriend.
352
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,835
I don't know. I don't trust this guy.
353
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:27,210
Well, if you're so worried, come with me.
354
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,908
Cane told me
to bring a friend for the drummer.
355
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,108
You mean it?
356
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,715
[Chuckles]
357
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:37,786
Stock boy, we need some sugar in Aisle 3.
358
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,086
[Chuckles]
359
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,325
[Yelling]
360
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,650
Oh, snap.
361
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:42,717
[Luanne gasps]
362
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,525
"Teenagers are clumsy around girls.�
363
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,227
[Dale humming]
364
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,700
[Military instrumental music]
365
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:59,209
Jerkwad. You sprayed poison
oh my veggie wrap.
366
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:04,873
"Teenagers show no respect
for a man in uniform.�
367
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,719
CANE: Hey, Pops!
368
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,585
How did you know to find us here?
369
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,646
Well, it's a school day, isn't it?
370
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,818
So, you ready for a fresh coat?
371
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,052
[Laughing]
372
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,186
You boys seem pretty sure of yourselves.
373
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,460
Maybe you'd like to put a little wager
on today's match.
374
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,824
Well, what do you have in mind?
375
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:25,968
Let's make the stakes high for both of us.
376
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:29,938
You put up your amplifier,
and I'll put up Bill's leaf blower.
377
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,501
All right, you got a deal.
378
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,408
[Dramatic instrumental music]
379
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,895
Guys, where are you?
380
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,128
[Exclaims]
381
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,694
[Groans] I twisted my ankle.
382
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,672
Time out, everyone!
383
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:07,104
Guys? Seriously, I give up. Don't shoot.
384
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:08,603
Uncle.
385
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:09,671
[Groans]
386
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:10,739
[Snickering]
387
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:11,840
[Bill yelps]
388
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,351
[Empty guns clicking]
389
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,253
[Guns cocking]
390
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,646
[Boys groan]
391
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,423
You were right, Bill. Teenagers are cruel.
392
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,593
They'll pick on the slowest, heaviest...
393
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:27,664
Well, the important thing is
you were right, Bill.
394
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:30,566
I still don't see why I had to be the decoy.
395
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,196
You were gonna get shot anyway.
396
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:34,996
Still...
397
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,509
LUANNE ON MACHINE: Hi. It's Luanne.
How're you doing?
398
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:39,635
What, me?
399
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:40,702
[Zeus groans]
400
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,178
LUANNE ON MACHINE: Leave a message
after the beep.
401
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:44,406
DALE: Beep.
402
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,473
[Exclaims]
403
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:47,750
[Dale laughing]
404
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,886
DALE: Beep, beep, beep!
405
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:51,246
[Shots firing]
406
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:54,154
Dang, man. You've got to
watch that friendly fire, man.
407
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:57,287
You don't need to doggone frag me,
like I'm a dang old--
408
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,822
I can't help it. They trained me too well.
409
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,359
I am the most efficient killing machine
the world has ever...
410
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,828
[Exclaims]
411
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:07,773
Three down...
412
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,899
and one to go.
413
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,146
[Military instrumental music]
414
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:41,002
Did you see some potbellied old guy
with loser glasses come huffing past here?
415
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:45,339
HANK: Sure. He's traveling up
the creek bed to cover his tracks.
416
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,481
And, young fella, you lose.
417
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:52,307
[Groans]
418
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,152
[Shots firing]
419
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,114
[Crows cawing]
420
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,416
His scoop's bigger.
421
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,923
I think you're gonna enjoy
the world of acoustics.
422
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:08,723
[Whimpers]
423
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,538
[Golf balls hitting metal]
424
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,306
[Cane's band playing acoustically]
425
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,440
This sucks!
426
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,110
[Knocking at door]
427
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,583
Who could that be?
428
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,185
Good Lord! That could start a fire.
429
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,290
[Laughing]
430
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,126
Now what's happening?
431
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,096
He's stomping it good.
432
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:42,325
There's doodies in there, right?
433
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:44,165
There sure is, Pops.
434
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,566
There sure is.
435
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:46,815
[Military instrumental music]
436
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,568
[Military instrumental music]
437
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,043
[Theme song playing]
438
00:22:23,475 --> 00:22:25,671
BOBBY: Dad, the raccoons are back!
439
00:22:25,721 --> 00:22:30,271
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