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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,330
[Birds chirping]
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,169
Hey, look at that.
3
00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:18,311
I guess we're finally getting
some new neighbors.
4
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,190
I tell you, if that boy handles a football...
5
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,819
half as good as he handles
a cardboard box...
6
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:30,660
Arlen High's got herself a new tight end.
7
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:35,168
Hey, you think the dad's a good bowler?
Yeah, he looks like a good bowler.
8
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,602
Maybe he needs someone to bowl with.
9
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,697
Notice how he lifts with his legs.
10
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,401
I think they're gonna fit in just fine.
11
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:46,138
Howdy, fellas. What brings you to Arlen?
12
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:49,646
This family hired us to move their stuff.
13
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:57,446
[Dog barking]
14
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,993
[Theme music]
15
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,893
HANK: Well, I'll be damned.
BILL: They look Japanese.
16
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:39,092
DALE: No, I think they're Chinese.
BILL: How can you tell?
17
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,760
Japanese guys usually have glasses...
18
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,236
and a suit and a tie, and stuff like that.
19
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,038
Well, a neighbor is a neighbor.
20
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,935
Let's go over and say hi.
21
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,205
Do you reckon they even speak English?
22
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,804
BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, them Chinese,
you can't understand a word they say.
23
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,213
They just try living
all upside down, what-not.
24
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:02,278
Hi there, I'm Hank Hill, I live next door...
25
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,223
which means I'm your neighbor,
and you're my friend.
26
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:08,955
I think you'll find we have
a great little community here.
27
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:11,028
What do you think of it so far?
28
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,226
I am Kahn So up ha no us in phone.
29
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:18,835
So that's pronounced "Caan," right?
Nice to meet you.
30
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,002
[Moaning]
31
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,573
What the hell are you trying to do?
32
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:28,778
So are you Chinese or Japanese?
33
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,950
I live in California last 20 year,
but first come from Laos.
34
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,715
Laos. We Laotian.
35
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,814
The ocean? What ocean?
36
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,485
We are Laotian! From Laos, stupid!
37
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,790
It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia.
38
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,957
It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay?
39
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,932
Population 4.7 million.
40
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,839
So are you Chinese or Japanese?
41
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:52,895
[Sighs]
42
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:54,833
PEGGY: This is so very exciting.
43
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:59,038
It's like we get to travel to the Orient
without having to worry about diarrhea...
44
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,410
or being jailed
for our pro-democracy beliefs.
45
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:05,076
At the beauty academy, they teach us...
46
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:09,316
that people aren't black or white
or yellow or red...
47
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,087
but their hair can be.
48
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,991
I'm going to invite
our new neighbors to dinner.
49
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,393
We can't expect them to break the ice.
50
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,864
These people are by nature
shy and reserved.
51
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,196
I read somewhere
that the Chinese language...
52
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:25,102
has 72 words for "rice,"
but no word for "friend."�
53
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,338
KAHN: "Howdy, you all."
54
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:31,673
"Howdy, howdy, howdy."�
Can you believe this crap?
55
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:35,437
You want to live in this country,
learn to speak English! I'm not going!
56
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,313
-But you promised.
-Why go?
57
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:41,582
I could just stay home, order a bucket
of chicken, watch Hee Haw, same thing.
58
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:46,422
For once, try not to piss off neighbor.
We kick out of Laos.
59
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,461
We kick out of Anaheim.
I'm tired of running!
60
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,126
[Doorbell rings]
61
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,265
Hello, Kahn.
62
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,332
Hank. Oh, damn!
63
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,132
You have damn fine house.
64
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,642
Lead-free since 1988.
65
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,508
This is my wife, Minh,
and daughter, Kahn Jr.
66
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,080
And this is Peggy Hill.
67
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:12,943
On behalf of Arlen, Texas, I would like
to welcome you to our country.
68
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,685
Please make yourselves at home,
and take off your shoes.
69
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,153
Why? You just shampoo carpet?
70
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:24,691
Come on, Bobby. Have some seconds.
The girl's lapping you.
71
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,927
I've never had beef chop suey before.
72
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,398
Really? Oh, you poor dear.
73
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,529
You know, I read somewhere...
74
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,198
that in certain parts of China...
75
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,503
meat is as scarce as toilet paper.
76
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:38,510
-Where you read that?
-Who can remember?
77
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:42,674
As a substitute teacher, I have
to review all sorts of learning materials.
78
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,810
-Maybe it was on a place mat.
-So you're a teacher.
79
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:49,479
Maybe you can tell me
why Arlen test scores are so low.
80
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:54,119
I know why. It's because Kahn Jr. not there
to bring up average.
81
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:58,095
My boy here might not be
the best test-taker...
82
00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:01,624
but he's got near perfect attendance.
Tell them, Bobby.
83
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:06,239
I hope you all saved some room
for my famous Apple Brown Betty.
84
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,003
The recipe's a closely guarded
family secret...
85
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:12,375
passed on from my mother's mother,
to my mother, to me.
86
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,210
And someday, I will give it to my Bobby.
87
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:20,249
-At least the Brown Betty was good.
-You must give me recipe.
88
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,721
Oh, Minh, you know I can't do that.
89
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:25,690
But what I can do
is offer you some leftovers.
90
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,729
Here, now just reheat this
for 10 minutes at...
91
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,830
I've already said way too much.
92
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:35,662
Well, y'all come back now, y'hear?
That's Texan for "sayonara."
93
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:40,831
Oh, my! Peggy Hill,
what big feet you have! Like boat!
94
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,808
That's just the way God made me.
95
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,878
Look at me!
I'm like little girl in Mama shoes!
96
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,175
Okay, bye-bye now!
97
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,353
Honey, she didn't mean anything by it.
98
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,753
You do not come into a woman's home...
99
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,885
and insult her feet! You just don't.
100
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:06,160
Come on, Peg, remember when
you first moved here from Montana?
101
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,996
You called pop "sody pop.�
102
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,498
And you thought 93 in the shade was hot.
103
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,802
Our new neighbors are just like you.
104
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,103
All they need is a little bit of time,
and Hank Hill to watch out for them.
105
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,580
Well, do you think my feet are too big?
106
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:24,515
No, there's just more of you to love.
107
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,675
Ow.
108
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:27,947
Sorry.
109
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,054
[Dog barking]
110
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,586
[Growling]
111
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:39,189
Be careful, Bobby.
That's one of them Chinese fighting dogs.
112
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,132
No, it's a West Highland Terrier.
113
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,535
-Yeah, that's it. So what's his name?
-Doggie.
114
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:48,165
Yes, Kahn Jr., he's a doggie.
Now can you tell me his name?
115
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,470
He's called "Doggie.�
116
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:53,172
And that's called a doggie, too,
but her name is Ladybird.
117
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,107
She's a purebred Georgia Bloodhound.
118
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,810
Her mama tracked down James Earl Ray.
119
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,046
[Kids laughing]
120
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,986
Aren't kids great?
121
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,519
They're too young
to know about fear or prejudice.
122
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,760
They won't have to learn that
till high school.
123
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,923
There's a real lesson here for all of us.
124
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,330
Move, please, you're standing on my hose.
125
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,366
[Doggie barking]
126
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,571
Dad, look, Ladybird and Doggie
like each other.
127
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,975
Of course they do, son, they're neighbors.
128
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:29,539
You know, Kahn, I just found
a breeding partner for my Ladybird.
129
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:33,075
If you're interested in having
a real American dog, I can give...
130
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,453
What the hell? Get him off of her!
131
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:37,513
[Kahn laughing]
132
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,490
Your Ladybird, she real slut!
133
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:43,086
Ladybird is not a slut. She is in heat.
134
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:46,790
Her hormones have overwhelmed
her natural modesty.
135
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,999
For Pete's sake, would you tie up your dog?
136
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,631
You tie your dog. She seduced my Doggie.
137
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:58,543
That's ridiculous, Ladybird can only love
another purebred Georgia Bloodhound.
138
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:02,309
You know what I think, Hank Hill?
I think you a narrow-minded redneck!
139
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:06,512
Oh, I get it. Just because I'm from Texas,
I got to be some kind of redneck!
140
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,055
The Chinese and their stupid stereotypes!
141
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,886
Get off my property!
142
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,049
[Hank sighing]
143
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,289
Sorry, Ladybird, I know you didn't mean...
144
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,628
to have relations with that dog.
145
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:23,863
But I got to tie you up anyway, if only
to protect your virtue and good name.
146
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,808
[Dogs barking]
147
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,069
[All muttering]
148
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,271
BOOMHAUER: Man.
149
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,038
Well, hey, look at that.
150
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,295
Maybe Kahn'll let you borrow
his sexy little import.
151
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:39,342
Maybe Kahn'll let you borrow
his sexy little import.
152
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,217
I'd cut my entire quarter acre
with a Lady Bic...
153
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:45,883
before I'd borrow that man's mower.
I just don't like him.
154
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,519
-Why? Because he's Chinese?
-No.
155
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:49,652
I thought he was Korean.
156
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,595
What the hell's the difference?
157
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:55,157
I don't like the man. That has
nothing to do with where he's from.
158
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:59,001
I'm no redneck.
He could be from Mars, for all I care.
159
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:02,531
Believe me, Hank,
if Kahn were from Mars, you'd care.
160
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:06,546
Especially after he's stolen every last drop
of Earth's drinkable water...
161
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,310
to transport back to his home planet...
162
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:11,543
Mars.
163
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:15,020
PEGGY: Come on, stop dawdling.
We have to pick up that pizza...
164
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,785
before the cheese gets cold
and the pineapple gets hot.
165
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:21,657
What's the rush?
If we're not there in 30 minutes, it's free.
166
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,424
MINH: Peggy Hill!
167
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,489
LUANNE: Wait! Aunt Peggy, it's Minh!
168
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,659
MINH: Stop.
169
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,725
[Peggy sighing]
170
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,568
Why, Minh, I almost did not see you there.
171
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,234
Peggy Hill!
172
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,004
I feel deeply sorry about dinner.
173
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:41,071
We get off to bad start.
I say things I should only have thought.
174
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,611
Oh, Minh, thank you.
175
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:47,083
It must've taken a lot of courage
to apologize like that.
176
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:50,248
And I know.
I was once the new girl in town, myself.
177
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,657
Me, Kahn, Kahn Jr.,
have a barbecue tomorrow.
178
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,626
It mean so much if you come.
179
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,494
Well, thank you, Minh.
We would be honored to come.
180
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,693
If you need any help with the barbecue...
181
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,930
or if you just want to know
what a barbecue is, you give me a call.
182
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,131
Uh-uh, Peggy.
183
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:12,270
I can't go, I won't.
Not after what he said about Ladybird.
184
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,804
Oh, Hank, come on.
Minh and I just made up.
185
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:18,180
We have to go, and if you stay home...
186
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,243
people will think you don't like Kahn
because he's Oriental.
187
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,618
That is ridiculous.
188
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,556
I hate the man
because he's rude and nasty.
189
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:29,151
Not because of what
his people did to us in WW II.
190
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:33,757
Hank, I know that. But everyone else,
they'll say Hank Hill is a racist.
191
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:38,202
What the hell kind of country is this,
where I can only hate a man if he's white?
192
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:41,866
Hank Hill, you will go to that party,
you will pretend to like Kahn...
193
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,501
and you will drink until you actually do.
194
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,242
Go on.
195
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,819
-Howdy, Kahn.
-Howdy, howdy, howdy.
196
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,184
Here you go.
197
00:10:55,255 --> 00:11:00,216
I thought you might enjoy 7.5 gallons
of pure, premium propane.
198
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,324
Are you kidding? No, I cook with mesquite.
199
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,360
Give meat nice taste of wood.
200
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:09,061
And I cook with propane.
Gives meat nice taste of meat.
201
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,001
-Hank Hill.
-Hey, whatever.
202
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:14,040
Some cultures like mesquite,
some prefer propane.
203
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,075
Doesn't mean we can't all get along.
204
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:20,375
Just because I happen to sell propane
and propane accessories--
205
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:24,314
Okay, go stick tank on the table.
Keep napkins from blowing away.
206
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:27,615
-Kahn So up ha no us in phone.
-Okay.
207
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,322
You honor me by giving me gas.
208
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,449
Doggie's just like me.
209
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,892
He's new in town,
and he's only got one friend.
210
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:35,951
Yeah.
211
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:38,053
But at least you're not tied up.
212
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,863
If I were, I'd just dislocate my shoulders
and slip out of the knot.
213
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:46,099
I'd chew through the leash.
I bet it tastes just like a Bible cover.
214
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:47,697
Hey...
215
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,266
Let's untie him. They belong together.
216
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,607
And it's fun to watch them play piggyback.
217
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:57,648
There you go, boy. Go play with Ladybird.
Be with your true love.
218
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,214
[Dog barking]
219
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,411
[Car approaching]
220
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,889
Wait, come back! You're in love!
221
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,690
KAHN JR.: Doggie! No, come back!
222
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,132
Look, it's Peggy Hill! My new best friend!
223
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,102
She's so pretty in her
little yellow sundress.
224
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,574
Oh, Minh, you are so sweet.
225
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:26,408
I could just mix you up in some Jell-O,
and eat you for dessert!
226
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,709
Peggy Hill, look at husbands!
227
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:31,273
Too bad men don't get along like we do.
228
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:35,185
We get along. Men stupid, women smart.
229
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,220
The whole world over.
230
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:41,284
Hey, look what I make,
Peggy Hill Brown Betty.
231
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:45,096
But that's impossible,
I never gave you the...
232
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,764
Where'd you get my granny's recipe?
233
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,860
I figure it out myself,
and then make it better.
234
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,304
Her recipe missing one thing. Flavor!
235
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,240
- I beg your P?
- Iadd flavor, nutmeg flavor.
236
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,108
Now taste much better, don't you think?
237
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,044
MINH: Please to try Peggy Brown Betty.
238
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,673
Would you like Peggy Brown Betty?
239
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,342
It's tasty, delicious.
240
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,876
To be honest, I have always had trouble
keeping your Brown Betty down...
241
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,150
but this here is pure heaven.
242
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:15,520
HANK: Those burgers look done to me.
KAHN: Not yet.
243
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,556
-You might want to turn them now.
-Too soon.
244
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,723
Okay.
245
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,791
[Grunts]
246
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:31,108
-You might want to turn them now!
-No! Please go away.
247
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:34,044
Please, Kahn, you're burning them.
That's too much char!
248
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:36,138
Shut mouth and open mouth!
249
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:44,923
Boy, howdy!
That is the best damn burger I ever ate.
250
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,524
Stop! Stop pushing!
There's enough for everyone...
251
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,963
if three people go home right now! Joke!
252
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,456
Doggie.
253
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,325
Doggie?
254
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,064
-Kahn Jr.?
-Yeah?
255
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,866
-Why are you named "Kahn Jr."?
-My father wanted a boy.
256
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,669
Yeah, so did mine.
257
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,143
My dad is so lame.
258
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,613
He makes me practice violin
five hours a day.
259
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,946
My dad won't let me watch TV
more than five hours a day.
260
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:16,216
Well, my dad's making me memorize
2,000 words for the SAT.
261
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,222
He's such an autocrat.
262
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,019
What's a S-A-T?
263
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:25,990
I tell you, Peggy, there's nothing
these people can't make better.
264
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:30,561
First the automobile, then the color TV,
and now the hamburger.
265
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,032
How do they do it?
266
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:35,439
With a dash of nutmeg, Hank!
A dash of nutmeg!
267
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,632
Oh, Peggy Hill!
268
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,940
Your husband like burger so much,
I give you recipe.
269
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,912
Now you can please him.
270
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,883
I don't care what country he's from.
271
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:48,114
Any man who can make a burger like that
is okay by me.
272
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,245
[Grunting]
273
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,721
You said it!
274
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:55,958
It was so good, it's almost a shame
to lose it to the process of digestion.
275
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,725
I tell you what,
that dang old onion soup powder, man.
276
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,893
Just put a little bit of that,
you don't need no grilled onions.
277
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,596
How about you, Dale?
How many you got under your belt?
278
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,037
-Zero.
-How come?
279
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,635
I don't eat dog.
280
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,540
Okay, here are the facts as I see them.
281
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:23,953
-Kahn served you dog.
-Kahn did not serve us dog.
282
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:28,358
That's just an awful stereotype.
Chinese people don't really do that.
283
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,395
I don't know.
284
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,454
Anyone crazy enough
to put nutmeg in Brown Betty...
285
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,728
well, they'd be crazy enough
to do anything.
286
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:38,795
[Stammering] Even if they did feed us dog,
you know, who are we?
287
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:42,684
Who are we to judge other cultures?
Maybe they're on to something!
288
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:42,936
Who are we to judge other cultures?
Maybe they're on to something!
289
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,939
They did invent paper, you know.
290
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:49,277
Quit talking like that!
Dog is man's best friend.
291
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:51,817
-Would you eat your best friend?
-Of course not!
292
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,751
Are we talking about
some kind of lifeboat situation, here?
293
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:57,017
I don't want to paint myself into a corner.
294
00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:00,616
Look, I can settle this right now.
That woman gave us the recipe.
295
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,924
See, right here. It says
"chopped meat,� not "chopped dog."
296
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,590
DALE: Dog is meat.
297
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,297
You said it, friend.
298
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:14,765
I was just trying to get that awful taste
off my fingers.
299
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,009
[Weed trimmer running]
300
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,446
[Trimmer stops]
301
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,511
HANK: Doggie?
302
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,587
MINH: Hello? Dog pound?
303
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:36,117
Hello? I'm looking for dog.
304
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,890
Sweet, sweet, dog.
305
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,695
Have big barbecue today and dog run out.
306
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,229
About 20, 25 pound.
307
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,100
Good Lord, it's true!
308
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:49,539
I call you back.
Hank Hill, what a nice surprise.
309
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,442
Kahn, come quick! Your best friend is here!
310
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,980
Oh, no, that's okay.
311
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,811
What you doing here?
312
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,750
I can't hear you over my Weed Whacker!
313
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,581
-Where you going, Hank Hill? Stop!
-I can't hear you.
314
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,889
My chrysanthemums! What you doing?
315
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,860
KAHN: You ruin my yard!
You crazy redneck!
316
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,057
[Minh yelling in Laotian]
317
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,229
We're never gonna find Doggie.
318
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:20,034
I know. Want to ride bikes?
319
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:25,743
Hey, Ladybird's a Bloodhound.
Maybe she could find Doggie.
320
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,002
Yeah!
321
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,738
Come on, Ladybird!
322
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,475
Lead us to Doggie!
323
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,207
[Panting]
324
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:37,453
[Leash unwinding]
325
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,057
[Leash rewinding]
326
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,284
[Dog whimpering]
327
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:49,666
My God, Dale! You were right!
Their dog is gone, all gone.
328
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:53,171
I caught Minh on the phone
with some kind of doggie butcher.
329
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,968
She was placing an order.
330
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,668
This is very dangerous.
331
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,802
They know that you know.
And now, they got to come after you.
332
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,176
HANK: They do?
DALE: Yep.
333
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,978
They'll get you with a blow dart.
That's their way.
334
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:07,111
You'll just think it's a mosquito bite,
until you die.
335
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,676
Then you'll know the truth.
336
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:12,213
Why would they shoot people?
Human meat's tough, flavorless.
337
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,022
They should be out hunting for more dog!
338
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,384
[Gasps]
339
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,292
Good God! He's got Ladybird!
340
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,596
It's still wet. Maybe there's time.
341
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,704
Come on, guys! We got to save Ladybird!
342
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:38,346
I've been hit!
Quick, somebody suck out the poison!
343
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,385
[Intense instrumental music]
344
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,892
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
345
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,369
Oh, no! Ladybird!
346
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:58,527
[Gagging]
347
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,841
That psycho redneck is back.
348
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,605
Why he so mad? I do something wrong?
349
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,806
You're the one who insulted his propane.
350
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,941
You're the one who made fun
of Peggy Hill's monster feet!
351
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:14,612
HANK: Open up, Kahn! Open up, now!
KAHN: Get my bat.
352
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,212
HANK: I know you're in there!
353
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,382
Go away! I do nothing wrong!
354
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:23,122
Kahn, I understand that life is valued
differently in your part of the world...
355
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:26,654
largely as a result
of overcrowding and famine.
356
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,192
But you're in my country now.
357
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,464
You're a crazy man! I call the police.
358
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:34,529
If anyone's gonna be calling the police,
it's gonna be me!
359
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,076
KAHN: Please! What you want from me?
360
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:40,135
HANK: I want my Ladybird!
You understand me?
361
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,237
Give me my dog back, or else!
362
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:43,975
[Mocking grunt]
363
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,350
Tough guy, I so scared.
You want a piece of this?
364
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,445
-Dad, no!
-It's all our fault!
365
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,683
BOBBY: We lost the dogs.
366
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,418
They wanted to play with each other,
so we untied them.
367
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,517
They ran away. Now we can't find them.
368
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,291
You what? You mean, you...
369
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,197
The dogs? They're still alive?
370
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,862
-What you think happen?
-Well, I... Nothing.
371
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:08,965
-We're sorry, Dad. We looked everywhere.
-We really did.
372
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,442
Bobby, you really screwed up this time.
373
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,104
Kahn Jr., you fall in with a bad crowd.
374
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,046
You made me fight with my neighbor.
375
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,810
You made the neighbor man crazy.
376
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,715
BOTH: Go to your room!
377
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,953
What? You say, "Go to your room"?
378
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:27,015
I say, "Go to your room." You spank?
379
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:31,690
-No, sir. Don't believe in it.
-No, me neither. I think it barbaric.
380
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,859
HANK: How about bed without dessert?
KAHN: Never fail.
381
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:38,068
Wouldn't figure a child
could be motivated...
382
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,868
by a fortune cookie and an orange slice.
383
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:45,534
The cookie may be small,
but it contain great wisdom.
384
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,873
And orange is sweet and juicy.
385
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:52,748
You know, Kahn, we may deny our kids
completely different desserts...
386
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:57,051
but they both go to bed hungry,
and that's what really matters.
387
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,447
[Sighing]
388
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:01,619
Guess we're not so different after all.
389
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:03,893
Boy, howdy.
390
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,395
[Dogs barking]
391
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,034
-Ladybird!
-Doggie!
392
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:10,928
[Both laughing]
393
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:12,604
Doggie Kahn!
394
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,939
Welcome to the neighborhood, Kahn...
395
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:19,069
Soup-ha-nousinp-hone.
396
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:22,046
Just call me Kahn. I don't got all damn day.
397
00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:25,244
[Gasping]
398
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:29,550
I'm running out of time!
Give me the antidote, man.
399
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,701
[Intense instrumental music]
400
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:32,748
[Intense instrumental music]
401
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,666
This is my granny's Five-Alarm Jambalaya.
402
00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:50,801
You want less hot, more spicy.
Add nutmeg.
403
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:54,307
[Whispering] "Less hot, more spicy,
add nutmeg." Of course, okay.
404
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,541
Aunt Laverne's Chicken Fried Chicken.
405
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,779
Too much Mrs. Dash, add nutmeg.
406
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,582
�"Too much Mrs. Dash.�
407
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:05,590
And this here is my very own rabbit stew.
408
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:09,825
Rabbit! You rednecks will eat anything!
409
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:14,425
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