All language subtitles for Frasier.2023.S01E06.720p.WEB.h264-ETHEL-2333

Hey. Are you two
free on Saturday?

Well, I am, and I
think Olivia is, too,

so, yes, we're free.

Free, free as birds.

Totally unencumbered by
schedule or any formal duty.

Oh, great.

- Idiot.
- Hmm?

Now she's gonna want
a ride to the airport

or help painting her apartment.

Oh, God, I just hope it isn't...

- I'm in a play.
- Oh!

Yeah. I'm so glad
you guys can come.

You sure you don't need
a ride to the airport?

It might be fun. What's
the play about, Eve?

Still figuring it out.

You hear that, Alan? They're
still figuring it out.

It's a very, very
complicated murder mystery

that my friend Kiki wrote.

It almost works.

- Ah.
- Hmm.

I play the lead.

- Oh!
- Oh!

Detective Erin Murderfinder.

- Mm.
- Mm.

While most murder mysteries

rely on intricate clues
that lead the audience

to a satisfying ending,

ours comes out of nowhere.

And we don't technically
solve the murder.

It's not a good play.

And will Freddy and
Frasier at least be there?

No. No.

No, they've done so much for me.

I-I can't put them through that.

Can't wait for Saturday.

If I kill you now, I could
be in jail by Saturday.

Sounds like a plan.

Get me out of it as well.

Wow, you two are in a good mood.

Well, it's hard not to be.
I'm spending time with my son,

colleagues and friends.

For the first time in
my life, I can say that

Frasier Crane wants for nothing.

Aw, that's too bad.

I had somebody in mind that
I wanted to set you up with.

I can be ready in five minutes.

Good for you, Frasier.

Always admired your
dewy-eyed optimism, you know.

Even though love's been
punching you in the face

for the last, what,
three decades.

Well, I think that's

- not a fair characterization...
- No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, we're
very proud of you.

Really, the way you've lurched

from one failed
marriage to another.

I mean, I've lost count.
It must be, what, three?

- Two, technically.
- Thank you, Freddy.

Yeah, the third one he just
got left at the altar, so...

I admit I may have had several
rough patches in the past,

I may have had a tendency
to get in my own way,

but that's all behind me now.

Just hope there's enough
time left for me to

still find true love.

Aw, come on, Dad, just
giving you a hard time.

You're still a young man.
You're-you're a catch.

Any woman would be
lucky to have you.

You know, Professor Salazar
in the linguistics department

has her eye on you.

Isn't she the one who
had three husbands die

under mysterious circumstances?

No. No, no, no. The third
one hasn't been found yet.

He's only presumed dead.

You know, she's
awfully good looking.

- Dad.
- All right, I'm sorry.

It's been a while.

Don't worry, I am
a great matchmaker.

Uh, Dad, a quick word of
warning, if Eve does set you up,

she doesn't have the
best track record.

What are you talking about?

The last woman you set
me up with was a dud.

She won an Olympic medal.

Bronze.

If you even call that winning.

Bronze.

The Dartmouth of medals.

Okay, this is not on me,
Freddy, this is on you.

Every time Freddy
gets set up on a date,

he ends up talking
himself out of it

once he learns
anything about them.

You know, Frederick, I
hate to diagnose you...

You know that's not true.

My point is, perhaps
you're having trouble

connecting with people
because you have a fear

of emotional vulnerability.

- Well, that's possible.
- Ah. - Yes, I mean,

after all, you are a
terrific young man.

Any woman's dream come true.

Couldn't agree more.

I prefer a bit more meat
on the bones, but...

Guys, I'm not afraid of
being emotionally vulnerable.

Prove it. I know somebody
who's perfect for you.

Okay, what's her name?

Mm-mm. No. You don't
get any information.

I'm not giving you the chance
to talk yourself out of it.

It's a true blind date.

Gosh, I...

I love that.

The only thing you know for sure

is that this-this
could be your soulmate.

Yes, please, Eve, I'd
like the same treatment.

No information.

Great. Okay. I'll
set you both up.

This is gonna be so fun.

And what about me, Eve?

Any nibbles for old
Alan? My type's a sort of

strict, disappointed schoolmarm.

I will keep an eye out.

Do. And if you see her,

just let her know that Alan's
been a very cheeky boy.

Hello. You must be Eve's friend.

I am. June Patrick.

- Please, come in.
- Thank you.

June. Here, let
me take your coat.

You know, a much smarter
man than I once wrote,

"Spring being a
tough act to follow,

God created June."

I bet you say that
to all the Junes.

And the occasional May.

I'm Frasier Crane.
How do you do?

I'm good, thanks.

Come on, I know who you are.

Are these
Christian Lacroix pillows?

Indeed they are. Bit
early in the evening

for pillow talk,
though, isn't it?

And the music...

Lucia di Lammermoor
by Donizetti?

Tell me I'm good.

You are very good.

May I get
you a glass of wine?

Yeah, sure, crack open a box.

I'm kidding. I don't really
think you buy boxed wine.

Your Steinway has
its own alcove.

You get me.

I'm rich.

Oh, hi.

I'm Freddy, you must
be Eve's friend.

I am. June.

Hi. S-Sorry to
barge in like this.

Uh, went to extra innings, I
expected to be back earlier.

I hope you won. I
don't talk to losers.

Oh, we won. Trust me.

Despite my four errors.

- You a baseball fan?
- Are you kidding?

There's nothing better
than going to a Sox game

full of hope and joy,

getting emotionally
wrecked for nine innings,

and then drowning my
sorrows over at Yancy's.

- On Blaine Street.
- Yes.

Did you ever get the number six?

- It's disgusting.
- Disgusting.

- That cheap American cheese.
- Four kinds of salami.

- There's way too much mayo.
- Grease for days.

I love it so much.

It's the only time
I'm truly happy.

I'm just gonna drop this off.
Can I get you a glass of wine?

Oh, thanks, but your
dad's getting it.

Ah. Of course he is.

Fancy music playing,
wine's flowing.

Tell you something, Frasier
Crane is quite the entertainer.

♪ June is busting
out all over. ♪

You must get that all the time.

Oh, yeah. Construction guys

constantly screaming that at me.

I'm cooking an ossobuco tonight.

I thought a Montepulciano
might be the perfect pairing.

It's a bit, uh,
clichéd, I think, maybe?

Sounds like a perfect match.

Well, hopefully it's not the
only perfect match this evening.

I'll be right back.

So... what do we think?

I worry it's too chic.

Good eye.

It's fresh in from Paris,
they're calling it a "shirt."

Ah.

See my dad got you that wine,

I'm pretty sure I also
heard show tunes, so...

I'm just gonna go see
what his plans are.

Oh, uh, how does Italian sound?

It-a sounds-a like-a this-a.

God, I am so sorry,
that was awful.

No, that's okay. Remember,
I had four errors tonight.

That was just your first.

I deserve that.

Could you grab me
a glass of water?

Sure.

Did you say something?

Oh, just that I'd
love a glass of water.

Ah. Of course. But a moment.

All right, here you go.

- Oh.
- Tap okay?

Yeah. I'm not some fancy
pants who needs sparkling.

Sparkling water for
a sparkling lady.

How did you do that?

Freddy got it for me.

He just ducked into the kitchen.

Oh, well, I'll
just go say hello.

You said my dad was in there?

Yeah, he just went in.

Ah.

All right, what the
hell is going on?

Freddy?

You're here.

Uh, this is a little bit
awkward... I have plans.

Oh, yeah, no, same.

The girl Eve set
me up with is here

and she's incredible.

- Your date's tonight?
- Yeah.

So is mine.

And I must say, we are clicking

like a couple of frisky cicadas.

Nice, Dad. Yeah, so are we.

Oh, the Crane Boys
has got it going on!

Oh... Sorry, uh...

Sorry, I'm...

I'm actually staying in tonight

because I'm-I'm cooking
an Italian classic.

Oh, yeah, no, th-that's fine.
And also kind of funny...

we're headed out for Italian.

Yes, that is funny.
Well, where's your date?

Oh, she's on the couch having
a glass of wine. Where's yours?

On the couch, having
a glass of wine.

I can't wait for Italian.

Seems to be a little bit
of a misunderstanding.

Sure does.

Where are you planning on
waiting for your date...

upstairs, in your bedroom?

What?

Are you out of your mind?
June is clearly my date.

Don't you think she's just
a bit refined for you?

Uh, no.

Don't you think you're a
little too refined for her?

All right, there's one
way to figure this out.

Let's just call Eve and ask her.

Yeah, okay.

Well, well, well.

Quite the sticky wicket we've
found ourselves in, innit?

The only bloke with
an airtight alibi

is the butler.

Oh, sorry, I forgot.
I cut act two.

Oh, this play is so unrealistic.

Why isn't that butler
wearing gloves?

I wish I had a knife in my back.

She didn't pick up.

God, why would
Eve set us both up

on blind dates on
the same night?

Maybe she assumed
we were smart enough

to figure it out for ourselves.

This is just getting silly.

I'm gonna go ask June
who she's here for.

No, no, no, no, no. We're
in too deep for that.

It'll be obvious we both thought
we were on a date with her.

Which is weird.

Good point.

You go from charming father

offering a drink
to his son's date

to deviant lothario trying
to steal his son's date.

I'm not in love
with that coloring.

Look, we're both waiting
for dates. Right?

So the other date should
be here any minute,

at which point it should be
obvious which date is for which.

"Whose date is for whom."

Seriously?

Frederick, a stressful
situation does not warrant

a loosening on the
reins of grammar.

The fact that you're still
single boggles the mind.

We're both intelligent men.

I'm sure we can
solve this puzzle.

Right, let's just
go talk to June,

and I'm sure she'll
give us some clues

as to who Eve set her up with.

- "Figure out with whom..."
- Stop it.

Sorry, just responding
to a friend.

"Date is going well so far.

Having a lot of fun with F-R..."

Oh, it auto-filled.

By the way, I was just
admiring this piece.

Oh, yes, that's one of
my favorites, it's...

David Cronin.

I studied art
history at Columbia.

Philosophy didn't
seem useless enough.

Well, so,
a fellow Ivy Leaguer.

Seems you and I have
quite a bit in common.

Oh. How fun.

I was actually recruited
to play softball,

although most of
the pitchers I faced

were filled with Heineken.

Ah, so you could say
you were more interested

in sports and beer.

Feels like we have
even more in common.

You know, if you like
the Cronin so much,

why don't you
check out the piece

on that easel
there by the piano?

All right, Frederick,
Frederick, sit down next to me.

All right.

Whoever she sits next
to is the one she likes.

That's pretty
smart. Remind me,

did you go to an
Ivy League school?

It came up naturally.

June, why don't you
come and join us?

Uh, we were just
discussing, um...

Uh, celebrity crushes.

Yeah, is-is there a kind of
guy you tend to lean towards?

Ah... Well, I love
Liam Hemsworth.

He's got that cute,

- boyish thing going on, you know?
- Mm-hmm.

But you can't go wrong with
a Kevin Costner type either.

June, uh, why don't
you... come sit down?

Oh.

-That's cozy, isn't it? That's...
-Yeah.

- Now I'm gonna check on dinner.
- I forgot my wine.

Seriously? You think
you're Costner?

More realistic than you
fancying yourself a Hemsworth.

I've seen your
calendar, Mr. July.

It's the closest you'll ever
get to disrobing near a June.

I got to say, I have
no idea what the hell's

going on out there.

Yes, I feel the same
way. It's like I'm

nine years old again, reading
Kafka for the first time.

How do we not know
who she's here for?

Oh, we know.

- Excuse me?
- By your own admission,

you are not
emotionally available

and June is just like me...

she wears her heart
on her sleeve.

Dad, come on.

I mean, June is-is
fantastic and you're...

well...

also fantastic,

just a slightly more
advanced category

of fantastic.

So that's how you see me, then?

My glory days behind me,

a retired show
pony milling about,

chewing cud in a pasture,

one broken leg away
from the cold shock

of the farmer's shotgun?

See? You get it.

So, do you guys hang
out a lot together?

Probably more than we should.

Which I love. I...

June, I-I kind of
pride myself on

connecting, emotionally,
with people.

My dad and I couldn't be closer.

Right, Dad? Hey, Dad?

Love you.

Aw, that is so sweet.

Almost saccharine.

So what do you guys do for fun?

Laser tag.

Wow.

Really?

You know, I like to keep active.

You know, good for the
soul, good for the body.

Keeps me full of vim and vigor.

Vim and vigor.

Picking up that old
laser tag lingo, huh?

You guys expecting company?

One of us is.

Frederick, will you join me?

Now, we both know the
woman behind this door

is clearly here for me
or clearly here for you,

and I think we both
know who it is.

I'm looking for Frasier.

I'm Ida. Eve said you've
got just what I need?

Yes, Ida, please, uh,
come in, won't you?

Uh, will you excuse
us for just a second?

All right, but be quick.

I'm not gonna live forever.

Oh, dear God.

Who do you think she's here for?

This must be some
kind of a mistake.

I mean, for God's sake,
she's old enough to be my...

Sister?

How dare you?

Oh, come on, Pops.

Imagine how refined she is.

But I should go, I don't want

- to keep my date waiting.
- Mm-hmm.

Ida, come join me in
the kitchen, will you?

Oh.

Now, what can I get you, dear?

Milk. And while we're young.

Milk, in-in a wine glass?

What?

Why the heck would the baby
drink milk in a wine glass?

The baby.

Keep up!

He's almost done with his nap.

He needs milk, but Eve's out.

She said you'd have some.

Right, right, of
course, here we are.

Off you go.

I don't need... I don't need
this much. It's just a baby.

It's fine, it's fine, you keep
it. Take as much as you like.

- Here we are. And off you go.
- I know. I understand. Oh!

Oh!

That was Eve's babysitter.

Baby needed some milk.

Eve's babysitter.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Ida.

We met, like, a month
ago when Eve hired her.

Did I not mention that?

Where is your powder room?

I have a bet with a friend

over whether this
place has a bidet.

Who doesn't have a bidet?

- This is insanity.
- Yeah.

A great woman shows up

and suddenly we're
acting like idiots?

This petty one-upmanship
is beneath us, Dad.

- Hi.
- Hi.

We should call a truce.

Yes, yes, yes,
perhaps you're right.

Makes sense. First
sensible thing you've said.

Yeah.

- Oh!
- Oh, Dad, your dinner!

Saboteur!

My friend set me up with this
firefighter, and he's great.

But his dad is here,

and, weirdly, I think
I'm more into him.

I know.

Yes, they have a bidet.

That was a low blow, Frederick.

My ossobuco's not the only thing

that's gone from a
simmer to a boil.

Yeah, well, it's
okay, Dad, 'cause

I just heard June
on the phone and,

while she was here to
go on a date with me,

she prefers you.

What is wrong with me?

Maybe Eve was right.

Maybe I am the problem.

No, you can't
believe that, right?

I don't know.

Perhaps June can sniff
out the commitment issues.

Well, you're
committed to your job.

You're committed
to Eve and to John.

You're committed to
rebuilding our relationship.

You're not emotionally
unavailable, you're emotionally

specific about what
you're looking for.

I assume you mean
"emotionally specific

about that for which
I'm looking," but...

You're right, that is obnoxious.

I'm gonna step aside.

From what I can tell, you and
June'll be great together.

Thank you.

You know, I've...

been getting in my
own way for so long,

seems the stars are
finally aligned for me.

Think your date's here.

Oh, you think you're
so funny, stars.

Okay, how can I help?

Ooh, wait, don't tell me.

Uh, I'll pretend to
be your personal chef

and set up one dinner
out on the balcony

and another in here, and
you can run back and forth

having two dates at
once or something.

No. Uh... No.

You know, there was a time when
I would have maybe... No, no.

I-I've lost enough women doing
that sort of silly thing.

I'll just go out there

and tell this young
woman, whoever she is,

that, uh, it's not going
to work out between us.

Thank you.

Just a moment.

Frasier, hi, I'm
Siobhan, Eve's friend.

Siobhan. Hi.

Uh, do I smell ossobuco?

Oh, takes me back
to my time in Milan.

Milan? Uh, what took you there?

I was performing at La
Scala. I'm an opera singer.

Is that so?

By the way, I hope you don't
mind, I brought sherry.

You know...

why don't we just have this
chat out in the hall here?

Freddy, your
personal chef idea...

do you think maybe we moved
away from that too quickly?

What?

Well, Siobhan could be the one.

- Wh-Who's Siobhan?
- My date.

- What about June?
- June was meant for you.

Eve clearly saw a connection
between me and Siobhan,

and we should respect that.

Are you kidding me?

You're doing this again?

See, this is your problem.

Okay, it's not that love
has passed you by at all.

You got a fantastic woman out
there who's interested in you,

but you keep getting
in your own way.

Y-You know what you are?

You're your own saboteur.

Uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh.

Tell you what.

You take June out for dinner

and I'll, I'll buy you a
big-screen TV for your bedroom.

What's going on here?

Don't
worry, Freddy,

I can still pull this off.

Were you just bribing
him to take me out?

Put on the hat.
Put on the hat.

Dad, I'm not putting on the hat.

He wasn't bribing me 'cause
I'm not interested in you,

it's just that you and my dad
were obviously hitting it off.

W-Wait, so you were into
June before I showed up?

A date was literally
coming for you,

and you couldn't
wait until I arrived?

To be fair, you
were a bit tardy.

Siobhan, you want
to go grab a drink?

I would love one.

Wait! Wait! Please.

I know you're both
upset, and I've behaved

boorishly, like a real cad.

I-I... I would like
to apologize to you.

But there's one thing
I have to clear up.

You both wanted me?

Still got it.

Y'all
know how this goes.

♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-callin' ♪

♪ Tossed salads and
scrambled eggs ♪

♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪

Yeah, maybe. But
I got you pegged.

♪ But I don't know what to do ♪

♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪

♪ Life's callin' again. ♪

Boston, we love you!

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Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org