All language subtitles for After Office Hours (1935) dvdrip

Um, back about 6:30.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey, why don't you...

oh, it's miss "strictly
business," isn't it? Strictly.

Ah. Well, then
let's get down to business.

Where shall we go
to dinner tonight?

How about the ritz?

Forget i mentioned it.

Won't take a minute.

Hey, hank, how's it feel
to be a lady's man?

You'll never know.

Man: Copy boy!

Woman: Careful, hank.
The boss is sore.

I'll have him eating
out of my hand.

No, no, no, no!

No longer news
when every blonde dame

between the ages
of 15 and 40

who gets herself arrested
for shoplifting

turns out to be
your next follies girl!

Now, that story you had
in the early run

is just about good enough
for the dummy edition!

You missed the whole point!
Can you hear that?!

Good!

Well.

Good morning,
mr. Branch.

Good morning?
It's 4:00 in the afternoon.

And get off the edge of
that desk. It's louis xiv.

Say, where have you been
for four days?

Three days.
Four days.

Three days, jim.

Three days, four days,
it's all the same.

Don't change
the subject.

Where have you been for
four days? In brooklyn.

Four days in... what are you
trying to do, set a record?

Drunk again?

How can i get drunk
in three days?

What's that
in your hand?

Some red-hot photographs
of the brooklyn bridge or what?

The real red-hot stuff
i got,

that patterson case you sent me
on, and i got pictures...

rich husband, beautiful wife,
dashing correspondent.

Yeah? Where's the story? Story?

Here's one of the juiciest
divorce cases

this town has ever seen,
all ready to break.

Henry king patterson,

president of one of the biggest
banks in the country.

His wife, old family,
famous long island hostess.

Young bannister,
just as old family.

And not one of those fatheads
we got working out there for us

can even
break the story.

Do you remember the murray
trust swindle? Remember it?

All the dough
i ever saved

went into that mousetrap...
842 bucks.

Yeah, and there were
hundreds more like you,

old men and women
who had everything in it...

office boys, stenographers,
street cleaners.

And young mr. Bannister
was the mouthpiece

who got the head crooks off
with a scolding.

Sounds like a smart boy,
that's all.

Is it against the law
to win cases?

No, but it's against
a lot of laws to bribe a jury.

Did he? How do you know?
Have you got the facts?

Look out for libel,
now.

We got to be sure of
this. That's just it.

I have got the facts,

but i can't pin it on him
so it'll stick.

This young bannister's
a smart tomato.

But even the smartest of us
makes mistakes sometimes.

Even i do.
Oh, no, chief.

And maybe

his playing around with madam
patterson is where he made his.

Yeah?

Jordan: I'd like to see you
a minute, branch. All right.

His honor,
the publisher.

Probably wants to know why
his wife's second,

third,
or fourth cousin's husband

wasn't listed
among those present

at the duchess of bilgewater's
dinner party at the casino.

Thank you. Don't mention it. Hey.

What? Oh, okay.
All right?

Gentlemen, you will never know
the cross i bear.

Well, mr. Jordan...

hello, branch.
Hello.

Have a cigar?
No, thanks.

Sit down.
Thank you.

What's on your mind?

It's about that, uh, patterson
divorce story you were after.

What about it?
Have you got something for us?

I think that,
for several reasons,

it would be best to forget about it. Oh.

Well, may i have
one of those reasons?

Well, for one thing,

mr. Bannister's
likely to be involved.

However slightly,

it might hurt his chances for
nomination as state senator.

Slightly?
It'll kill him.

Hmm, well,
let me put it another way.

I am particularly
interested

in having mr. Bannister
nominated and elected.

He can be invaluable to me
at the capitol.

Oh, i see.

You know, i've always been
under the impression

that we were running
a newspaper.

I don't see that it's
the purpose of a newspaper

to print scandal
that doesn't exist.

A newspaper
should print any news

that can be found, stolen,
or bought to print.

One moment, branch.

I want the patterson divorce story
killed as of this instant. Well?

You like your job here,
don't you, branch?

Of course i do.
Why shouldn't i?

When i took a hold of this sheet
four years ago,

it was nothing but a rag.

I brought it up,
made a newspaper out of it.

My life's blood's in it.
Why shouldn't i like it?

I should hate very much to have
to get along without you.

Will that be all?

I hope so.
Thanks.

Anything serious?
No.

'Cause if there is

and you should make any change
without letting me know...

take me with you,
will you, chief?

What are you birds
talking about?

I'm not taking anybody
anyplace

because i'm not going
anyplace myself.

You know, i can't remember any
story i ever wanted to break

more than
this patterson yarn.

Break bannister
with it.

If you mugs would disguise
yourselves as newspaper men

and get to know
these people,

we might
have a chance of...

hello. Who wrote this?
Hmm?

"Mr. Eckelstein conducted
as though he were anxious

"to finish before
his orchestra did.

"He very nearly
succeeded.

"However, neither mr. Eckelstein
nor his orchestra

"finished quickly enough
for this reviewer.

Oddly enough, the audience
seemed to like it. "

Who wrote this?
Who's n. S?

Society dame,
been here a week.

Mr. Jordan's wife
got her the job.

Society dame, eh?

Send her in. I want to see her. Okay.

Hello?

Hello?!

Yeah? Yeah. What?

What?

Miss america
in an automobile accident?

Spread her picture
all over the front page.

Yeah! Yeah!
Four-column cut on page...

what?
Miss america of 1923?!

Put it
in the want ads!

Can you imagine?
Miss america of 192...

who are you?

I'm from the music department.
You sent for me.

Oh, yes, yes.
Uh-huh.

Hank,
go take a picture.

So, you're n. s.

Well, i, uh...
yes, in a way.

You can't be n. s.
In a way.

Either you are n. s.
Or you're not n. s.

Exactly. What i mean is
i am n. S.... Nancy sharon.

But that's not
my real name.

Oh, incognito?
Royally?

No. My name is sharon norwood. Norwood?

Any relation to mrs. Scarlet
t. I. Norwood of newport?

Yes, she's my mother.
Mm-hmm.

Do you like the work?
Love it.

Yes, you meet so many
interesting people.

I haven't so far.

You know, mr. Branch,
i think the news-record

is more intelligently handled
than some other papers.

That's the reason i chose it
to get my practical experience,

because no matter what anyone
thinks about theory,

practical experience is always
the best, and i think...

would you like to have some
tea sent in? I'd love to.

Have cap bring in the files
on that butler case.

Didn't you wish to discuss
my review with me?

Yes, i did.

You know,
it's easy enough for you,

after all you've learned
at oshkosh college...

oshkosh...
to pour out your scorn

on people who happen to be
old-fashioned enough

to like beethoven's
fifth symphony.

You know, our readers
may not be smart as you are...

are they as smart as you,
mr. Branch? It's a tie.

I give them what they like,
and they like what i give them.

Well, i give them what i like
and what they should like.

Tell me.

Uh, you're not
seriously contemplating

a newspaper career,
are you?

Yes, for a few months,

doing the best music reviews
this paper's ever had.

Then i'll try magazines.

I might even edit one or two. Yes, yes.

Well, in view
of your higher career,

i'm afraid
that forcing you

to slave away your time
on this paper

is merely throwing an
obstacle in your upward path.

Obstacles never bother me. Oh, no.

But i'm too concerned
with your career,

so i'm going to
do you a favor.

I want you to go down,
see the cashier,

ask him
for two weeks' pay,

and then tell him...
you're fired.

Mr. Branch!

With your appreciation
of music,

one of these days you ought
to run a full-column cut

of a bathing beauty sitting
astride a great big brass horn.

You owe it
to your public.

Good! Get that, cap?
Four columns over all.

Caption...
"horn of plenty. "

And you, tell the cashier i said
to give you an extra five bucks

for the best suggestion
of the week.

Good day.
Good day.

And you, cap,
put some of my reporters

on that patterson case
right away.

If that divorce breaks and i
haven't got that story... okay.

Hello?

Oh, yes, yeah.
Hello, honey. Yeah.

Yeah. Ju-just a minute.

Hello?
Who? Who? Mr. Taylor?

Yeah. Well, just a minute.
Hello, honey.

Yeah, look, i'm leaving here
in a few minutes.

Yes, we'll have dinner
at the bevort

and then go on to
"the cat and the fiddle. "

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, i'm leaving here
in 5 minutes.

Hello?
Send mr. Taylor right in.

But tell him i can only give him
a half an hour.

How do you manage
to always

get to a theater
just at intermission?

darling, they always declare
an intermission when i arrive.

Whitmore:
Hello, tommy.

Hello, whitmore.
How are you?

Say... isn't that
tommy bannister,

the big athletic type?

So, you do read your
own rotten bureau section?

How come julia patterson
isn't with him?

Maybe patterson got smart
all of a sudden.

Pardon me.

Hello, nick.

Hello, hello, jim.

How are you? Glad to see you.
Hello, lane. How are you?

Hello, bannister.
Hmm?

I'm branch
of the news-record.

I met you last year in the lobby
just before the gridiron dinner.

I'm sorry. I seem to have
forgot. Oh, that's all right.

Oh.
Pardon me.

Miss norwood,
may i present mr. Branch?

How do you do, miss norwood?
How do you do?

Say, branch,
lane's telling me

that cornell holds the course
record at poughkeepsie.

I say it was columbia.
What do you think?

Well, bannister here
stroked the crew

that really holds the record.
Why don't you ask him?

They'd think
i was exaggerating.

I'm afraid you're not
a newspaper man.

Uh, miss norwood, when you, uh,
come to work in the morning,

will you drop in
my office?

I have a special story
for you to work on.

Are you working
for his paper, sharon?

I was,
but i've been fired.

Fired? Who fired you?

One of the most egotistical men
i have ever met.

Oh, yes, yes,
i did hear about that.

You don't mean to tell me that
you took that lecture seriously?

Seriously enough
to make up my mind

i'd never work
for that man again

if he offered me
the last job in the world.

Well, i wouldn't worry
about that

because from what i know
about him,

if it were the last job
in the world,

he'd keep it for himself.

I'll look for you
around 3:00 then.

There's no law against looking,
but i wouldn't let it

interfere with my regular work
if i were you.

Man: Curtain! Third act!
Curtain! Can we go in, tommy?

It's been swell
being with you again, sharon.

Grand. What about tomorrow
night, tommy?

I'm sorry. I've got a date
with a patterson.

Oh, julia and henry?
Yes.

Incidentally, there's something
i want to tell you. What?

There's been a certain amount of
talk about julia and me. Why, tommy!

Julia's been having
a miserable time.

I don't know whether henry could
be called a jealous husband

or just
a drunken one.

Anyway, i tried to play the good
samaritan and put my foot in.

There's been gossip.

Henry hasn't helped things
by his attitude.

Oh, how awful for you.

Isn't there anything you
can do about it? Not much.

I can't very well
go to julia and say,

"look here, you can get someone
else to handle your estate

because i've heard rumors
about us. "

That sounds silly.

Besides, i need the money
it pays me.

Well, you stick
to your guns.

Wait please.

May i go up with you,
sharon?

I'd like to say hello
to your mother.

Oh, i'm afraid she's deep in her
beauty sleep by this time, tommy,

but thanks awfully
for the lovely evening.

It sort of reminds me

of our long forgotten past
or something.

Well, now that we've
discovered each other again,

i hope you won't be
as elusive

as you have been in the last
few years. Well, with my large

and heavy newspaper career
slightly on the wane,

i'll probably
have more time to myself.

Anyway,
call me up again soon,

and i'll prove to you
i'm not so elusive.

I'll do that, sharon. Good
night. Good night, tommy.

Mother: Sharon? Yes, mother.

I'm in here, darling.

What are you doing up
so late, de...

I hardly know, myself, only it's
all very agreeable and charming.

Thank you.

Darling, don't look
so bewildered.

This is mr....
Oh, how silly of me.

Of course,
you know each other.

Yes, but i didn't know
you did.

We didn't. And now you're
the first to know.

It's a "scroop. "

It's a what?
A "scroop. "

I think your mother
means a scoop. Exactly.

And why have you kept
your delightful mr. Branch

a secret from me?

I would have understood
everything so much better

if only you'd told me.

I was terribly opposed

to sharon going into
newspaper work, you know.

But i seem to have had
an entirely erroneous impression

of you newspaper men.
Yes, well, mother,

i wouldn't judge all newspaper
men by mr. Branch.

Well,
perhaps you're right.

Perhaps it is a little
too much to expect.

Still,
times have changed.

When i think
of the names

your father used to call
newspaper men...

for instance?

How... how did the play
finish tonight?

With the whole company
on the stage. Really?

Yes, a very original idea,
don't you think?

Oh, yes, yes, quite.

You make me quite nervous
standing there, darling.

Why don't you sit down
or something?

After all, mr. Branch
really came to see you.

Yes, well, that's very sweet
of him, mother dear,

but i'm really awfully tired,
and i'm going to go to bed.

Oh, nonsense.
You're hungry.

That's what's
the matter with you.

And how about you, mr. Branch?
You must need some food, too.

The hungry news boy.

Oh, i'd welcome
a crust of bread, ma'am.

Ah.
Don't ring, darling.

You might wake
the servants.

You know, i practically adjust
my life to suit theirs.

But i don't mind, really.

It's part of the new plan
or new deal

or whatever you call it,
and I-i don't mind.

It keeps me quite young
and patriotic.

Your mother's a darling.
Yes.

You're very like her.

Why are you here?
Just an impulse.

I repeat,
why are you here?

I want you
to come back to work.

What brought that about?

Oh, i should have realized
it takes time

for people
to adjust themselves.

That's a pretty radical
change of heart

to have in a few hours,
isn't it?

Well, that's the way i am...
an extremist.

You haven't,
by any chance,

seen mr. Jordan
since you fired me, have you?

Jordan?
Yes, jordan.

You know, the man who owns
your paper? Oh, yes, yes.

He hasn't
had anything to do

with your change of heart,
has he?

Well,
we all have our bosses.

Well, supposing i don't
want to come back.

Please.

You made it very clear to me
this afternoon

just what you thought of me
as a music critic.

Oh, forget about that.
I've got a new idea for you.

I want you to write color
pictures of big events.

Now, you know, take tonight's
opening for instance.

Uh, there are a lot of our
readers who don't care a hoopla

what the reviewers think
of the show.

But if we could
make them feel

that they'd really been
at that opening themselves...

you know, tell them
who was there and how and why.

Cigarette?

Tell them all about
the 70-year-old jeweler

who always takes his 95-year-old
mother to all the first nights.

And then about the society crowd
coming into the theater,

the rothrocks, the lindens,
the heltons.

And, uh...
and then the younger set...

uh, mrs. Patterson with
tommy bannister, and lady...

what do you mean by that?
What?

Mrs. Patterson with tommy
bannister. Well, i thought...

mrs. Patterson was not
at the theater

with tommy bannister...
i was.

And nothing bores me
more than malicious gossip.

It's common talk.
Terribly common talk.

They've been friends of mine
for years,

and there's absolutely
no foundation

for this common talk
of yours.

You know,
i'm glad to hear that.

The news-record has enough
legitimate stories to print

without running anything just
based on malicious gossip.

What do you mean
by that?

I mean that after
what you've just told me,

i wouldn't touch that story
with a 10-foot pole.

Now, you know these people,
and i don't.

Now, if you say it isn't true,
it isn't true.

That's that.

You know,
you're a strange man.

I wonder if by any chance
you could be nice.

I am what i am,
just a newspaper man.

Nothing more,
and i hope nothing less.

Just the same,
i think my idea is a good one.

Only we'll confine it
to facts

and leave out all
the malicious gossip.

Do you agree?
Mm-hmm.

I think it might be
very interesting.

It certainly would...
for you and for our readers.

Hello?

Who? Mister...

it's for you.

For me?

For you.

Well.

Hello.

I'm calling you
like you told me to, jim.

Oh, now, look, don't bother me
with that silly nonsense.

You know that story
automatically calls

for a two-column head.

What are you
talking about?

And, uh, and listen, another
thing, this is very important.

Yes, i, uh...
i want you to kill

that bannister-mrs. Patterson
story.

There isn't
a word of truth in it.

Don't argue with me.

I don't care if you got it
set up in platinum.

Kill it, mount the type,
you understand?

And just this afternoon
you was boring out hank

for a simple
four-day drunk.

Three-day.

Good.

I thought you only
dropped in here on impulse.

Well, i always let them know
where i am, even on impulse.

You know... you're lovely
when you smile.

Do you ever laugh?
Sometimes.

Let's see.

I haven't anything
to laugh about.

Oh, well,
that's easy enough.

Did you ever hear the one about... yes.

Well, all right then. Stop me
if you've heard this one. Stop.

You know, a good newspaper woman
never interrupts.

She might miss the point
on an important interview.

Then i'll wait until
i'm on an important interview.

Well, you are practically on an
important interview right now.

What are you doing?

Well, now, never mind.
What's that mean?

I am the woman
with the quintuplets.

There's renee,
clemence, jacques, louis,

and, uh
Uh, mildred.

Uh, interview me.

Oh, well, let me see.
My good woman,

isn't it a bit unusual
for this time of year?

No, no, only in months with
"r" in them. Oh, you poor thing.

Oh, it was nothing, really.
No, no. It wasn't a thing.

Anyone would have done
the same thing in my place.

Oh, darling. Now, look, aren't
they the darlingest thing.

Ooh!
There goes mildred!

Oh, mildred!
Oh, i've never seen a man

who could hold
a child correctly.

Mildred, mildred!
Leave her alone.

She'll come out
when she's hungry.

Yeah, that's what you say.
It's not your apple.

Oh, it will be
if i find it first.

Millie, come here.

Here, i got her. There she is.
Oh, the sweet...

you know, she has a nice, red,
ruddy complexion.

You see? You see?
You're marvelous when you laugh.

I told you so.

Uh, miss norwood, you have a lot
of money, haven't you?

Well, i'm not starving.
Mm-hmm.

I mean, you have a large income
of your own?

Mm.
Mm?

Yeah,
that's what i thought.

Miss norwood, i want a simple
answer to a simple question.

Will you marry me?
No.

That's what i thought,
too.

What would you have done
if i said yes?

Well, i'd have
gone through with it.

I think
it still is a good idea.

Whoa, mildred.
Why, may i ask?

Well, we both work on
the same paper,

we both laugh
at the same thing,

you got a job, i got a job,
everybody's got a job,

and you still got
a lot of money.

Yes, but you might lose your
job, and i might lose my money.

Well, then i think you'd have
the best of the deal

because i can get
another job,

but i don't think you'd find it
so easy to get another fortune.

Oh, i don't know.

I've never seen a blonde
in a bread line yet.

Mother: Mr. Branch, i think
it's horrid of you to be amusing

while i'm out in the kitchen,
slaving for you.

Well, i'm always willing to give
an encore. Never mind the encores.

You see, you have no idea
the jealousy

that exists
between artists today.

Uh...

Hey, it's 1:00...
the middle of my day.

I'm sorry, but i've got to be
getting back to the office.

But, mr. Branch, you're hungry. No,
no, no. It's all in a day's work.

Hunger, insomnia.
Eat when you may.

And all so the world
may know tomorrow morning

that joe dotes
was fined $5

for running through
a traffic signal.

Oh, you're too modest.

I don't know what we'd do
without newspapers.

Well, i don't know what i'd do. I do.

I'll expect to see you in my
office tomorrow around 3:00.

We can arrange
the details then.

Yes, i am fixing up a new assignment
for your daughter. Oh, how marvelous.

I don't know when i've had
a more delightful evening.

No, no, nor do i.

Well good night, miss
norwood. Mr. Branch.

Good night, mother.

You know,
i've never had a mother.

He's never
had a mother?

Oh, darling.

Good evening.

Well, this isn't such
a bad-looking place.

Hello, mr. Jordan.

Hello, sharon.
How are you?

Well. Hello, branch.
Hello, mr. Jordan.

I didn't know
you two knew each other.

Oh, i had meant to talk to you
about miss norwood.

She's very keen to learn
newspaper work.

I think you won't have any
trouble finding a place for her.

No, no.
As a matter of fact,

she's working on the
paper right now. What?

Doing very well.
Good! Splendid!

My wife
must have fixed it.

Amazing woman, mrs. Jordan.
Never forgets. No, no, i'm sure.

I hope you like it, sharon.
I'm sure you're in good hands.

Oh, i'm very sure.
Yes, yes, indeed.

Well, well,
nice to have seen you.

Yes, thank you.

I thought mr. Jordan
told you to hire me back.

You said that. I didn't.

What are you
looking at?

The biggest liar
in the world.

Oh, come, now.

You're taking up
too much territory.

They tell me
there are liars in europe

that have forgotten
more than i'll ever know.

Why did you lie to me?

If you were looking
at what i'm looking at,

you'd know
why i lied to you.

How about
a cocktail?

Oh, yes.
That's a grand idea.

What about that story you and i
were going to work on?

Well, to begin with,

i think you ought to write
a few sticks

about the architecture
in this place.

Shall we start outside?

No, but we saw the outside
from upstairs when we came in.

No, no, no. I mean the
other side... the river side.

Oh, that's lovely.
Very nice.

Can we go and take this with us? Let's.

Lovely. Charming.

Hmm, black water
under a full moon.

Very beautiful,
but rather banal.

And very romantic.

Oh, among the early arrivals
was mrs. Murchison and party.

What are you doing?
Reporting.

Must you?
Mm-hmm.

That's a handy little
gadget, isn't it? Yes.

Tommy bannister
gave it to me

when he heard i was
a "working girl. " Oh.

As your boss, i demand that you
pay more attention to me.

Mrs. Murchison:
Hello, sharon.

Hello, mrs. Murchison.
How are you?

How are you, darling?
Fine, thank you.

What a charming place.
Yes, isn't it?

Is your mother here?
No, she's not.

Remember me.
I will.

Hurry up.
What?

Hello, sharon.
How's the music?

Oh, divine.
Hi, harvey.

Swell. You look
pretty swell yourself.

Must you
know everyone?

Well, it's part of the job,
isn't it?

Hello.

Hello, you.
Hi, sharon.

Well, mrs. Murchison
had on a brocade wrap.

Mr. Murchison
had on a black tulle.

I see
the fleet's in.

Yes,
and you're blockaded.

Laugh again, please.

You know,
it doesn't seem possible

this river could have
been here for centuries

just as a background for you on
the night of august the 18th.

But that's the way it seems
to have worked out.

You say awfully nice things,
mr. "b. "

Not nearly so nice
as i'd like to say.

You know,
this is all nonsense.

You're a pernicious
influence.

I've got to get down
to work.

Whoa.
Where are you going?

You'll have a body on your hands
if you don't take me in.

I'm...
i'm famished for food.

I warned you.

No wonder admiral byrd
takes all those trips.

There's no privacy left
in america.

I don't think
i care awfully.

I'm afraid i do.

No, i mean
about all those people.

You're grand.

Come on.

Well, here we are.

Oh,
so you won't talk, eh?

Here we are.
Yes, yes.

That seems to be pretty
well established by now.

Miss norwood, will you give me
a civil answer

to a civil question?
Yes.

Will you marry me?
No.

You mean that?
Mm-hmm.

As much as you meant
it last night? Mnh-mnh.

Mind if i ask you often?
I'd be furious if you didn't.

Too soon now?
No.

All right.
Here it goes.

Lovely.

Julia: I don't know
where your places are.

You'll have
to find them yourself.

You knew, of course,

that julia patterson
was going to be here tonight.

Yes. But i'd forgotten about it
until this very minute.

You also had a hunch that tommy
bannister was going to be with them,

and you thought it might help
your story if i were here.

Now, didn't i tell you i was
convinced there was no story?

Yes, but you also told me there
were bigger liars in europe.

Well, you know, sharon,
it's...

it's hard for me to judge people
in your crowd.

I'd like to meet them,
get to know them better.

I'd like to believe
that you're right.

You know, julia's just like
an older sister to tommy.

You really should meet
them. If i only could.

Hello, sharon.
Hello, branch. Slumming?

No. But miss norwood is.

Well, you see, tommy, this is
the assignment i told you about.

I'm just a slave
to my boss.

And do you keep tommy
informed daily

as to your assignments,
sharon?

Not at the present
writing.

I don't think you've met
mrs. Patterson, branch.

Julia, this is mr. Branch.
How do you do, mrs. Patterson?

Oh, mr. Branch and i have sort of
a reading acquaintance, haven't we?

Yeah, yes, sort of.

Isn't this
a lovely place?

I mean, being on the river
and all that sort of thing?

We were just on our way
to the bar for a cocktail.

Won't you join us? Oh, fine, i
think a cocktail's a grand idea.

But we've just had...
oh, come on, sharon.

But what about
our ham and eggs?

Why is everybody
standing around for?

Julia, why aren't we in a bar,
drinking?

Well, walking seems to be
the only way to get in.

We can try running,
if you like.

Oh, henry,
this is mr. Branch.

This is my husband.
Mr. Patterson?

Well, mr. Patterson,
i am happy to know you.

You'll never know how i've been
looking forward to meeting you.

The pleasure is mutual,
i assure you.

Oh, thank you. What did
you say your name was?

Branch. James branch.
Oh, i've heard of you.

Take the order, will you please?
And get some more chairs.

Hello, sharon.
Hello.

I didn't
see you before.

Oh, don't tell me
that julia and tommy

have gotten themselves
a chaperone?

Henry,
don't be silly.

In henry's
present condition,

he's lucky to be able to see
what anybody's doing.

Mr. Patterson,
i suppose you're backing

your good friend bannister
for state senator.

I am not!

Really? What was that
my mother used to tell me

about old friends
being the best of friends?

Well, they may not be
the best of friends,

but they certainly get away
with an awful lot.

Julia:
Henry, sit down.

Henry says the cutest things
when he's drunk,

and he's always drunk.
Why shouldn't i be drunk?

I got more right to be drunk
than anybody else in the world.

Really.
I've had enough of this.

Julia. Julia. If anyone should
leave, i think it should be...

here! Keep your hands off
of her, bannister! Henry.

I thought you said
there wasn't a story there.

All i had to do
was give it a little push.

Aren't you clever.

I think we'd better go home,
henry.

You're in no condition
to entertain guests.

Well, my condition
is my own affair.

And as
for anyone leaving,

i have only
one suggestion to make.

Julia, i do think it'll
be better for everyone concerned

if i were to leave.

Oh, but you... please
excuse me. Good night.

Good night, branch.
Good night, bannister.

Sorry you're leaving.
Good night, sharon.

I think i'll go along,
too, tommy.

Do you mind taking me?

Why, of course not.
Must you go?

Yes. I have a story to
write at the office. Oh.

Please sit down,
henry.

You'll excuse me,
won't you, julia?

Good night.
Good night.

Do you really
have to go to the office?

No, i want food
and fresh air...

fresh air first.
All right.

You meet me
on the terrace,

and we'll take a club launch
to the moon.

Sounds pretty nearly perfect
to me, all except the moon.

I'll get
my hat and coat.

Sharon?
Yes?

You've had exactly 58 minutes
of that fresh air you wanted.

How about paying a little
attention to me?

I'm sorry, tommy.

That's the sharon
we know and love.

My boathouse
is right ahead.

What about that food
you craved?

You're an angel. Some food. All right.

Second boathouse on the left,
please.

Just a minute.

Oh! Welcome to bannister manor.

Tommy, this is charming.
Want me to wait?

No, won't need you.
I'm on.

Hey, wait a minute.
I came here for ham and eggs,

not to be stranded
on a desert isle.

Have no fear, madame. We're
prepared for any emergency.

My boathouse, my gymnasium,
my play room, and my garage.

Oh, tommy, it's
delightful. Do you like it?

A boat at your front door,
a car at your back.

Where do you keep your airplane,
in the kitchen?

Oh, tommy,
nice, nice, nice.

Make yourself at home,
sharon.

And now
for the bannister food.

Hmm!
Beautiful view.

Moon on the water.

Haven't you got any
to go?

Oh, how mortifying.

You don't mean that...

yes.

Aah, is there nothing
a girl can count on?

I can be content with
ham and eggs without ham.

I could even be content with
ham and eggs without eggs.

But ham and eggs
without ham and eggs? Ohh!

What a cad i am.

Ah! I once saw a man
pull eggs out of a hat.

It's not that kind of a hat,
and i'm not that kind of a man.

I suppose
this is the place

where i should tactfully
change the subject.

Bless you. Mm-hmm. Well, let's see.

Oh, yes. Isn't that the crew
you once stroked?

Yes, that's the gang.
I bet you never knew

you kept me up until 11:30
one night at geneva

waiting to see what that
crew would do. Really? Geneva?

Yes. That was the year
that mother decided

that my french accent
was too german

and my german
accent was too french,

so she sent me
to switzerland.

If i had known that,

i'd have made them start the
race at 10:00 in the morning.

Remember, i wanted to take you
to the prom that year. Mm-hmm.

We really
haven't seen each other

since we were kids,
have we?

Well,
that's not my fault.

You were at bryn mawr,
in europe,

social service,
and then newspaper work.

Why do you have to work
on a newspaper, sharon?

I don't have to.

I'm resigning.

Oh!

I'll, uh...
i'll go downstairs

and get some wood
and build a fire.

Wood? Why on earth?
I'm not cold.

Oh, but you may be.
It's very deceptive out here.

Oh, i'll just
turn this on.

Old american custom...
music with your meals. Meal?

Well, meals if there was
anything to eat in the house.

I won't be a minute.

Julia... julia,
what are you doing here?

I want to talk to you.

Tomorrow.

No. Not tomorrow.
Tonight. Now.

You've got sharon norwood
upstairs,

and i'm gonna tell her
exactly how things stand.

I've had enough
of this.

Sharon's not up there.
There's nobody up there.

Ha! You're lying.
Let me pass.

Julia,
you're out of your mind.

Well, if i am,
it's your fault.

You can't
get away with this.

I'm gonna tell her
all about us.

Julia,
will you be quiet?!

Julia, you can't go up there,
i tell you!

All right.
You're through.

You've got my money,
and you're through.

But you're not gonna do the same
thing to sharon norwood.

If you don't shut up,
i'll shut you up!

Oh, no, you won't.
I will. I swear i will!

If it's the last thing on
earth... will you be quiet?!

I'm going upstairs.
Keep quiet!

Tommy!

Julia.

Julia!

Hello, mr. Branch?

Yes.

Oh, i know you haven't got
that story yet.

But supposing
you write it.

You know all about
the river club and who's there.

You can't quit like that.
It isn't ethical.

Oh, yes, it is...
your kind of ethics.

What difference does it make
where i am?

I'm having a very nice time,
if you want to know. Listen.

Now do you believe me?

Hey, listen, baby,

i know a phonograph record
when i hear one.

Yeah, now, you go kiss your
mother good night and go to bed.

And by the way,

you better tell your maid
to dust off that record.

It's a little worn-out.

And so are some people.

That's for you,
mr. Branch.

Do you think
he caught my hint?

You have a positive gift
for innuendo.

Oh, where do you get
these awful antiques?

Always belittling.

If you weren't hungry,
you wouldn't criticize.

So i'm gonna take you out
and give you something to eat.

What?!

Well, you've been screaming
for it.

Well, it's all right
with me,

only first you get the wood,
then you have no food.

Never mind that. Walk,
don't run, to the nearest exit.

I'll go first.

Whew! Can't see.

Never mind. Follow me.
Can't go wrong.

Careful. Watch your step. Phew!

Hang on to me
and i'll guide you.

Look out,
there's a step there.

Slip in and start the motor,
will you?

I'll open the door.

Well, here we go.

North or south?
Food!

This looks like one of those
places you get ptomaine.

I don't care as long
as we get eggs with it.

O'connor: new york police.
Shh! Shh!

Calling all cars,
calling all cars.

Cover all highways
leading in and out

of the metropolitan district.

Be on the lookout for a stolen
car... a chevrolet coupe.

I don't know why i'm
looking at this thing.

Shh! Shh! Shh! Please,
please. All i want is...

47328, 47328.
Cover all highways.

Hey, can't we have a little music? Yeah!

Music? Who wants
to listen to music?

It may be a good murder
any second.

Calling car 47, car 47.
Listen, please.

1001 spruce street,
apartment 407.

A man beating up his wife.
That's all. O'connor.

That might have been
something serious.

Now, will you please shut that
off and give us some music?

If i shut that off,
how will i know what happened?

It'll be in the paper
in the morning.

Can't you read?
No.

Don't you want to please
your customers?

No!

It's all right.
I turn the music on.

I don't care anything about
music. I want ham and eggs.

Ah, that's better.

You think so?
I don't think so!

Please may i have
some ham and eggs?!

What you want,
miss, please?

Ham and eggs.
What do you want?!

I think i'll have
a cup of coffee.

One ham and eggs,
one cup of coffee for him.

Excuse my husband.

He wants to listen to the radio
every day... murder, murder.

Someday, i murder him.

Someday, you're gonna find out
who is the boss of here...

me or you.

Oh, yeah?

I never saw ham and eggs
disappear so quickly.

Oh, i'm out of training.
Two minutes flat is my record.

Man: when you hear
the sound of the gong,

the time will be exactly 56 and
one half minutes past 1:00.

What i want to know
that for?

I got a clock.

I hope the ham and eggs
are better than the coffee.

What's a matter
with the coffee?

Well, it's...
my wife, she make it.

Oh, she did, eh?
You no like it?

No. You don't like my wife?!

I didn't say anything
about your wife.

Let's go, huh?
75 cents!

All right, all right.
Here you go.

Keep the change,
greek.

O'connor:
At number 62 avenue "a. "

Hurry. That's all. O'connor.

Good morning, good morning.
I'd like to see miss norwood.

Tell her
it's mr. Branch.

I couldn't, sir,
not for anyone.

It's 7:30.

Yes, yes, yes, i know the time.
Tell her i'm here.

But it's not possible, sir.
Well.

I'm sorry,
miss sharon.

That's all right.
That'll be all.

What are you
doing here?

Well, I-i thought
you might want to know.

Mrs. Patterson
was found murdered

in her home this morning.

I don't believe you.
It's true.

We just had a flash of it
in the office a half-hour ago.

That's why i hurried
right up here.

Hello.
Good morning.

Whatever in the world
is the matter?

Well, i've been trying to break
the news to your daughter.

Mrs. Henry king patterson
has been murdered.

Murdered? Oh!

Now, if they play this thing up
from the bannister angle,

you're going to get your name
in the paper.

You wouldn't want your name in
the paper, would you, mother?

Oh, certainly not!

They're holding
an investigation

out in the patterson home
this morning,

but they're not letting any
of the papers in on it.

Well, what can i do?

You can get me in there.
You're a friend of the family.

Once i'm there, i'm pretty sure
that i can get the police

to soft-pedal certain angles
of the investigation.

Well, i may be able
even to get them

to leave out
certain names of people

who may be
innocently involved.

That is if i can get there
in time. That's up to you.

I'll take you.
Does tommy bannister know?

Probably.
Who... who murdered her?

We don't know yet.
Goodbye.

Mother,
call the garage

and have my roadster
sent around, will you?

Sharon, be careful,
darling, and...

and let me know
as soon as you know

who murdered her,
mr. Branch.

All right, mother.

Wait a minute.
You can't come in here.

Hello, miss norwood.
Oh, hello, joe.

old friend
of the family's.

Oh. Okay,
go ahead.

All right,
get back, everybody.

All right, get back,
lady.

Where is the body?
Who are you?

Coroner's assistant.
Okay.

Coroner's assistant.
Where is the body?

Okay, upstairs. Woman: Mr. Patterson
called mrs. Patterson an awful name.

What was it?
Well, it was awful.

I'll have to write it
for you. Never mind.

Then what happened?

Then mrs. Patterson
tried to hit mr. Patterson,

but he grabbed her arm, and... and what?

Then mr. Patterson
smacked her in the face.

It was all
very embarrassing.

Did he hit her
very hard?

Oh, yes.
How hard?

That'll be all.

Wait around till we need you. Yes, sir.

It's a good thing
he didn't kick her.

You take care
of him.

Right in there.
Thank you.

Who's that man?
I've seen him before.

Don't you remember?

He's the head waiter from
the riverview club. Oh, yes.

Say, the...
the police stenographer's

taking down a lot of notes
in there.

Aren't you afraid
the information

might get into
the papers?

Well, i must admit
it has gone pretty far.

Well, isn't that the object in
our being here, to squelch it?

Yes, but, uh...
oh, i see.

It was just an excuse of yours
to get in here.

You never
had any intention

of keeping your word
at all, did you?

Well, i just thought...

you just use people
to gain your own end.

Did it ever occur to you that
there's such a thing as honesty?

You know, i'm sorry
you take it that way,

because after all, you know,
i have a job to do.

I can't see
any particular harm in...

no, you can't see any particular
harm in anything you do.

I'm afraid we just haven't
the same ideas about anything.

Fred: What time did you leave
the riverview club?

Mr. Patterson: I think
it was about 11:00.

L- i can't remember.

You can't remember, huh? No.

Hello, branch.
How'd you get in here?

Influence, fred.

Feel better now?
Yes, thanks.

Cigarette?

Why did
you kill her?

I didn't say
i killed her!

I said
i couldn't remember.

You admit that you were
drunk when you came home. Yes.

You must have been pretty
sore when you hit her. Yes.

Do you remember everything you
did when you were drunk? No.

Now, mr. Patterson, why don't
you tell us all you really know?

It'll save you a lot of trouble.
Hey, you can't go in there.

Why not? The body... no one allowed in.

I can hear someone
in there now.

Oh, that's the coroner's
assistant.

Oh, oh, okay, i wouldn't think
of interfering.

Tell the boss i got
all the pictures. Okay.

Man: Now, mr. Patterson,
according to your statement,

you came home from the riverview
club last night at 11:00,

had an argument
with your wife downstairs,

and slapped her,
is that right?

Thank you.

Hey!

Well, coroner,
what do we do with the body?

Uh, put it
in the bathtub.

Hey!

Ixnay akincray.

Fred: Who let that guy in,
and what for?

I'd like to see anybody
like that get by me.

Yeah, yeah, so would i.
Yeah.

So, this is mrs.
Patterson's room, eh? Yeah.

Hey, you can't
go in there!

What's the matter
with you?

Come on, now.
You got to get out.

Oh! Well.

It doesn't look like there was
much of a fight, does it?

Don't touch anything
there now.

All right, all right.

Get away
from that window.

Oh, i'm not
hurting it any.

Get away from it
all the same.

You might gum up
the fingerprints.

All right, all right.
Nothing been touched, eh?

No. That's the position
they found the body in.

Killed at 11:20.
How do you know?

Well, the wristwatch
stopped at 11:20,

and the coroner said she'd
been dead seven or eight hours

when they found her.

Oh, the coroner, eh?

Must have struck that watch
on something there.

Look,
the crystal's all broke.

The nightstand,
i guess.

She must have banged it
pretty hard.

Wonder what could have been his
reason for killing her.

Well,
they were married.

Well, that's a reason
often enough, isn't it?

Come on, come on, hey, hey.
You got to get out of here.

Get out. Outside.
All right.

Everything's all right.
Don't worry.

Everything...
i don't know

how you got in here
in the first place, but out.

All right, now.
Don't worry about it.

Yes, and the first thing
you know,

they'd have me back
in uniform again.

All right, all right.
Keep right on going.

Goodbye. Goodbye.
Go ahead. Go ahead.

Mr. Bannister.

Thanks for coming,
mr. Bannister.

It's all right.

Is it true,
mr. Bannister,

that mrs. Patterson was planning to
leave her husband for you? It is not.

Well, from what we can learn
here in the house... look here.

I came here to help the police if
i could, not to be cross-examined.

Well, it's true, isn't it,

that mr. Patterson was very
jealous of you? That's ridiculous.

I was very fond
of mrs. Patterson,

and we occasionally
went out together.

But mr. Patterson
knew all about it.

Why, mr. Patterson was...
it might interest you to know

that we've just arrested
mr. Patterson

on the charge of murder. What?

There must be
some mistake.

Well, have you seen him
since this happened? No.

Like to?
Certainly.

I'd like him to know
that i'm standing by him.

Okay. Right this way.

Excuse me, sharon.

Henry, old man,
this is terrible.

Is there anything
i can do to help?

Will that be all?

We could hold you as a material
witness, mr. Bannister.

But if you'll give us
your word

to be at our disposal if
we need you... certainly.

That'll be all.

Well?

I don't know
what to think.

This is a terrible
mess, sharon. Horrible.

I still can't believe...
he couldn't have killed her.

Hello, bannister.
Hello, branch.

You know, i think you're right
about patterson.

I don't think he killed
her, either. You don't?

No, but i got a pretty definite
hunch who did.

You have?
Mm-hmm.

And whom do you suspect? You.

In that case, i suppose i should
go back and give myself up.

Well, that would save a lot of
trouble. Don't you think so?

I'll tell you what i think.
Come on, tommy.

Jordan:
It's inexcusable.

Sharon: I felt sure
you wouldn't want your paper

used for personal spite.

"Mr. Bannister appeared
at the patterson home

"early in the morning at the
urgent insistence of the police.

"If he had any doubts
about a police suspicion

"in connection with himself,
he concealed them well.

"His manner
was perfectly that

"of a young man about town
with nothing to hide.

He... " ugh.

Won't happen again,
i can promise you.

Hello, chief.
What's up?

I'm afraid i've reached the
limit of my patience, branch.

I think i'll be running along
now, mr. Jordan.

Oh, can't you have lunch
with me? No, i'm sorry.

I promised mother i'd lunch
with her at the beach club.

Oh, sorry. Allow me.

Goodbye.
Goodbye, my dear.

Well, branch,
what is the meaning of this?

It's simple enough.

Any six-year-old child
can understand it.

It's written
for a circulation of 800,000.

As far as it can within
the limits of the libel law,

this story refuses to accept
the police explanation

that patterson
murdered mrs. Patterson

and practically suggests

that bannister might be
involved in the murder. Mm.

I'm told you wrote
this story yourself.

Yes, every word of it.

We beat the town
on the pictures, too.

I hope you noticed them.
They're hank parr's.

Mr. Branch,

i spoke to you some days ago
about the election story.

You ignored my request.

There's a limit
to my patience, sir.

Mr. Jordan, i'll have to
beat you to the punch.

I resign.
I'm through.

I've enjoyed working here,
except for your illusions

about your friends and business
associates being untouchables.

There isn't
a finer collection of men

on any newspaper
in the world

than that bunch
you've got out there.

I hope you appreciate them.
Goodbye.

Well, i'm sure we...
goodbye!

Uh, we, uh...

All washed up?

"Mr. Jordan, i beg
to tender you my resignation

effective
as of this moment. "

Is that
the correct form?

Hey, look,
one of these days

you're gonna talk
about resigning,

and somebody's
gonna take you up on it,

and then where will you be? With you.

I don't want you
to leave this office.

Tell cap to stay here
and be ready to write that story

if i can get it.

You're not working here
anymore.

What do you want to get
the story for?

Never mind.
I've got a personal reason.

It couldn't be because you're in
love with miss sharon norwood?

All right, i'm in love with her!
You want to make anything of it?

No, it's all right with me.
I'll keep your secret.

It's no secret.
I love her!

I guess he loves her.

Sharon, i don't believe i've
ever seen you act so stupidly.

No one that knows
tommy bannister

is going to believe
that silly stuff,

not for one instant.

That isn't it.

Well, what is it?

I don't know.

That makes a lot of sense,
doesn't it?

Fine newspaper training,
i must say.

Oh!

I, uh, suppose you're surprised
to see me here.

Nothing you could do
would surprise me.

That's all over.
L- I-i've been fired.

May i sit down?

You know, i can't remember
when i've ever gone

so completely haywire
in my whole life.

And now i'm through.

So, i'm going back
where i started.

Uh, kansas city.

Oh! I didn't know
you came from kansas city.

Did you ever know
margaret fairhold?

Oh, yes.
Her mother was a druten.

You know, we used to...
mother.

Yes, but, well,
they know me back there

for what i am, the...
the real jim branch.

I, uh... i just bought myself
a one-way ticket.

Good old kansas city. I've got
some real friends there.

They'll give me another chance
back there.

There are only two things that
i must clear up before i leave.

You are one of them.

I want to apologize to you
for the way i behaved.

Won't you accept my apology,
please?

I'm afraid you're taking it
too much to heart.

A man with your...
as well perhaps,

and, well, there's...
there's one other thing.

Uh, bannister.

Now, I-i know
that i can never repair

the injustice i've done him.

But i do want him to know
that i didn't do it maliciously.

But I-i can't reach him.
I tried to call him.

He won't even see me.
He won't talk to me.

If tommy bannister
doesn't forgive you,

i'll never
speak to him again.

Oh, could you? Would you?
Take me to him.

Well,
sharon can take you.

I must see him right away.
I know how you feel.

Well, i... of course, i abused
you so much in a shabby way.

Won't you grant me
this last favor?

Please?

I'd like to see that ticket
to kansas city.

Huh?

The ticket
to kansas city.

You know, the one
you didn't show my mother?

So, you want to see my ticket
to kansas city, huh?

You catch on.

And just why do you want to see
my ticket to kansas city?

'Cause i don't think
you've got one.

Oh, so you don't think
i've got one?

Well, suppose
i showed it to you.

Then what
would you think?

I'd think you had a ticket
to kansas city.

Yes.

You know, i know exactly
what you're thinking,

and i can't blame you.

That's mighty noble of you,
mr. Branch,

but i'd like to see the ticket
to kansas city. Where is it?

Now, don't tell me
you t'm lying again?

You've got to believe me about
this. You've got to. Oh, yes?

You can't ride in this car
without a ticket.

So that's the way it is,
is it?

You won't take my word for it,
will you?

Get out of thi

you know, a man has a certain
pride about some things.

I might not show you that ticket
just out of stubbornness.

Will you get out?

You mean i've got to get out
and walk home, like a girl?

Get out of this car.

You're gonna look back
on this someday with regret.

The only thing i regret is that
i've taken you this far.

Now get out.

All rig's the way
you feel about it.

You can turn around and go right
back where you came from.

Oh, no, you go back
where i came from.

I'll go on and apologize
to tommy bannister for you.

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

Wait a minute, officer,
wait a minute!

Don't go away! Don't go away!
I'll be right back!

What's the matter
with that guy, crazy?

Hey, hey! Give me a ticket
to kansas city.

Kansas city?!
Yeah!

Don't blame me.
I didn't name it.

Hurry up. Which kansas city you want?

We got two of them.
Any kansas city will do.

Give it to me,
give it to me.

I'll give you missouri.
I'll give you missouri.

Hurry up.
Does that say kansas city?

Yep. How about your birth?
Okay.

March 17, 1776.

Hey, that ticket
ain't any good!

I ain't signed it!
I'll sign it!

Hey, hey, hey!

Come on, come on,
hurry up, hurry up!

Come on, come on!

Hey! What do you think
you're doing?

Oh, come on, officer,
have a heart.

I'm branch
of the news-record.

I got to catch a car
on the main highway.

What for?
I just got out of it.

You just got out?
Yeah.

Now you want to get back in? Yep.

Kind of whimsical, ain't you? Yeah. No!

What did you get out for
in the first place?

Because the girl in the car,

she doesn't think
i'm going to kansas city,

and i'm not,
but i got to prove that i am.

What's a matter, you nuts?
Yeah. No!

Oh, come on, officer.
Have a heart.

I got to save her
because i love her.

You love her? You're the one who
ought to be saved. Yeah. Yeah, i know.

Hop on. No, you don't. Get
up front. Yeah, all right.

I want to keep my eye on you. All right.

That dame belongs
on the indianapolis speedway!

Hey! Pull up there!

Is this dame you're
stuck on, buddy? Shh, shh!

Well, i don't blame
you. Thanks, officer.

What are you playing now,
"dracula"?

Well, i'm going to give
you one more chance. What?

Why should i let your stubbornness
come between us? My stubbornness?

Do you believe i have a ticket to
kansas city or don't you? I do not.

Must i be the kind of a weakling
to prove my honesty?

You don't
have to prove anything.

All right, then, here.
Here's my ticket to kansas city.

And i hate myself
for giving in.

You're the most inconceivable
man i've ever met in my life.

You can get in now
if you want to.

I don't know
whether i want to or not.

Hello, sharon.

Hello, tommy. I...
oh.

I brought mr. Branch along.
He... he wants to see you.

Hello, bannister.

Hello, branch. Come in. Thanks.

Say,
this is all right.

Garage, boathouse,
gymnasium all in one, eh?

Yeah, i don't think i've ever
seen a place like this. Thanks.

Oh, a racing scull, eh?
Yes.

Say, you know,
that's all right.

That's one exercise
a man can keep up

after he's out
of college.

Uh, how long does it take
to dry a thing like this

after it's out of the water? Not long.

Do you have to oil it
often? Not very often.

Oh, ready anytime you want it,
eh, day or night?

Never use it at night.

How many miles an hour
can you make in it?

I don't know. About... well,
i'll bet it's plenty fa...

oh, you have living quarters
upstairs, i suppose.

Hey, what is this,
an inquisition?

Now, wait a minute,
tommy.

Why, that's the last thing that
would enter my mind, bannister.

Mr. Branch came here
to explain

exactly how he felt
about everything.

Well, aren't you gonna
ask upstairs?

Oh, of course.
This way.

Thanks.

Say, this is cheerful,
i must say. Thanks.

I don't want to seem rude,
sharon,

but may i ask
what brings mr. Branch here?

Yes, of course.
He came here just to...

i, uh...

i've come to tell you what
a fool i've been, bannister.

And i feel that you're entitled
to hear it from me. I...

well.

I didn't know you had
a motorboat, bannister.

I haven't.
That's mrs. Patterson's.

Oh, i see.
You were saying...

i was saying that i had come
to certain conclusions,

which i realize now
are clearly absurd,

and i'm sorry.

Indeed?
Yes.

Like a sap, i believed
every silly story i heard.

I don't think
there's anything quite so stupid

as a wise guy trying to believe
what he wants to believe.

Why, i actually fell
for that story

about mrs. Patterson
endorsing

almost $200,000 worth
of your notes at the bank.

Gullible, that's me,
just plain gullible.

If you hadn't been so stubborn
and had listened to me...

yes, but i...

you want to know how
i figured this patterson thing?

I thought... well, i thought
that maybe he rowed across

to mrs. Patterson's
house that night.

It isn't necessary
to itemize your suspicions

when you're apologizing.

But i can see now
how wrong i was,

and i've come to tell you.

Of course, i must admit, there's
one thing that has me stumped.

Nobody knows yet

exactly where you were
the night of the murder.

Just for fun,
where were you?

That's
none of your business!

You don't have to use me again
to get him to answer that.

But, sharon, i'm only...
i'll tell you where he was.

Sharon,
i won't have you...

he was right here with me
the greater part of the evening.

I don't believe you.

Oh, that's right.
I forgot.

You're the man who always
knows a phonograph record

when you hear one,
aren't you?

Now do you believe me?

I wish i didn't.

Rather upsets your theory
about tommy, doesn't it?

I wasn't
thinking of bannister.

Now that you're through
with your cross-examination,

i'm gonna
take you outside

and give you
the licking of your life.

Oh, tommy,
this is ridiculous.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I like this.

I don't see any harm
in you trying.

Right this way then.

It'll only take a minute.

Thank you.

Is this spot
satisfactory?

I think you'll find it okay. Mm-hmm.

Ah, tell me,
is this the way they did it

when you stroked the crew?

Not quite.

Would you
like another lesson?

Yeah.

I'm a slow study,
professor.

Yeah,
you are a slow study.

Here you are!

You'll find a taxi stand

about 21/2 miles
down the road.

Wait a minute.
Here's a place.

Whew.

Pardon me for pointing,
but what is this all about?

What's all what about?

Well, this rowboat,
for one thing.

This isn't a rowboat.
It's a motorboat.

Oh, my error.

And what would a man like me

be doing in this motorboat
at this time of night?

That's your second mistake.

You're not a man.
You're a woman.

Hey, now, look, boss,

i've done
a lot of screwy things for you.

I've been a nudist,
a barking dog,

i've even been a comanche indian
on his first trip to new york,

but i'll be doggone
if i'm...

well, i'm trying to
re-enact a crime.

I'm trying to figure out
how mrs. Patterson was killed.

You're mrs. Patterson.

Before or after?
Both.

A star part, huh?

Come on, come on, come on,
get going.

Turn to the boathouse here.
Okay.

Say, i don't want to get into
an argument with a mastermind,

but what happens
if mr. Bannister's home?

Not a chance.

He's at the st. Regis
having dinner with...

with miss norwood, huh?

You know me, i'm...
i'm wrong about everything,

but i'm just sap enough
to believe

that you're all burned up at him
because of that gal.

Nuts, ain't i?
Yes.

Can't understand how she could
fall for a mug like that

with something
like you around, huh?

When i want your views on life,
i'll ask you for them.

Okay.

Got it?
Get the rope.

Okay, i'll take it.

Hey, hey,
suppose he comes home early.

Yeah, don't worry about him.
I'll handle him.

Yeah,
like you did this afternoon...

from a sitting position?

No, i got him
all figured out.

Now, you know, every time
he's about to hit, he shifts.

And all i got to do
is get him while he's shifting.

All i have to do to be president
is to get the job.

Hey, where are you going?
Don't leave me alone.

Okay, now, look,
i'm going upstairs.

While i'm gone, i want you
to holler as loud as you can.

Holler?
Yeah, holler.

You feel all right,
don't you?

Don't worry about me.
You just holler.

How's this? Hey!

No, no, no.

Well,
is this all right?

No, no, no.

What i mean is i want you
to talk as loud as you can.

Oh!

This thing is locked.

You know, i'd feel a lot better
if we had a couple of cops with us.

Yeah, and every other paper in
town would get the story but me.

Hello. What's this?
I can make it here.

I'll get onto this roof
and then up through the window.

You wait here.

Oh, take it easy.
I don't want to row home alone.

Hey, look out. Look up!

Okay.
All right?

Okay.

Everything's all set.

Now, as soon as you hear
the music, start to chatter.

Did you say music?

Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna put on a record.

As soon as you hear it,
start your loud talk.

Okay.

I hope my mother
never hears about this.

You know we french
stormed ratisbon!

And on that storming day,

on a little mound napol�on stood
a mile or two away!

The government...
the government of the people...

of the people
and of the people

shall not perish from this earth
of the people.

Of the people!

And while i'm about it,
let me tell you a thing or two!

If you think i'm gonna keep on
slaving this way for peanuts,

you're out of your mind!

I want more dough!

And not only that, i've got to
have a little respect!

I'm not gonna be treated like
a guy that just takes pictures!

I'm a photographer!
I want respect!

But first,
i got to have more dough!

Am i talking too loud?!

I got to have more dough,
working for a nut like you!

I heard that last crack.

Why didn't you yell
when the music started?

I did yell.
Are you sure?

Sure. Listen.

You know we french
stormed ratisbon!

And on that... oh, that's
great. That's great.

Huh?
I couldn't hear a word.

You couldn't hear it?
No.

Say, what are we
doing this for anyway?

Now listen, listen.

Suppose you're mrs. Patterson
and you just came here.

I'm bannister, and you're
in love with me. Oh.

Yeah, but you know that
i got sharon norwood upstairs,

that i've been spending
your dough on her.

What would you do?

I'd holler my head off.

No woman's gonna come between me
and the man i love.

You would
holler your head off?

You bet i would.
All right, let's hear you.

I'm mrs. Patterson.

Yeah, you're mrs. Patterson.
I'm bannister.

All right.
All right.

You let me go up there!

I'm going to tell that
so and so. Julia! Julia!

Now listen! Listen, tommy,
i'm gonna tell her!

Julia, julia! Julia,
don't do that!

hey, wait
a minute. You're choking me.

Now you're dead.
You think you're kidding?

Now, wait a minute. Let's
try and figure this thing out.

Now, after he killed her
and after he took shar...

miss norwood home...

hey, look,
where was miss norwood when...

when mrs. Patterson
was killed?

I just showed you.

She was upstairs,
playing the victrola. Oh.

But bannister and norwood
were here together

until after 1:00.

And the wristwatch shows
she was knocked off at 11:20.

Did you ever hear of a
wristwatch being turned back? Oh.

There's no doubt the murder
was committed around midnight.

But he was
with sharon then.

If i could
clear that up...

um, only
at the risk of boring you,

what made you
suspect this cluck at all?

Mrs. Patterson's nightstand
had been moved

to put it into a position
to smash the wristwatch.

Now, she was either killed
by patterson or her sweetheart,

and patterson was too drunk
to figure out alibis.

You've got a mind like
einstein, boss. Thanks.

I mean mac einstein that runs
the lunch room on beesy street.

All right, you mug,
listen to this.

When i looked out
of mrs. Patterson's window

and saw the staircase
leading down to the boathouse,

i realized then
that the whole thing

could be pulled by water,
boathouse to boathouse.

What do you think of that?

It fits all right.
Of course it fits.

After he took miss norwood home,
he came back here,

put the body in the cruiser,
and went across,

and somehow or other
got mrs. Patterson

up into her bedroom
where they later found her.

Uh, but the cruiser was found in
the patterson boathouse. Right.

So, how did he get home?

By way of east orange
or did he swim?

You remember my telling you this guy
was captain of his crew in college?

Yeah.

Well, my theory is that when
he went across in the speedboat,

he took
this racing scull with him,

and then
when he planted the body,

he came back in this.
Oh!

Yeah, come on,
let's see how heavy this is.

Hey!

Hey, boss, look!
Somebody's coming!

What?
Yeah, look!

Where?
Hey!

Hey!
Wait a minute.

Put that thing down
and come on!

Get out of the way!

Come on, come on, stupid.
Hurry up.

Get that thing untied.
Get the oars!

Hey,
what's going on here?

Oh, just a little social visit,
that's all.

Oh, it's you, huh?
Yeah, yeah.

I don't believe
you've met mr. Parr.

Mr. Parr, this is mr. Bannister.
Mr. Bannister, mr. Parr.

Pleased to make
your acquaintance, i'm sure.

Is this the guy
that killed the lady?

I've had enough of this, branch.
I'm gonna call the police.

Hey, that's the best idea
you've had yet.

Perhaps then you can explain
how that night table

in mrs. Patterson's bedroom
happened to be moved

so that her arm would hit it
and smash her wristwatch?

And while you're about it,

tell the cops to bring a diver
so we can find her vanity case.

What are you
talking about?

I'm talking about
a vanity case

mrs. Patterson had
the night she was killed.

It's missing now,
and i have feeling

we'll find it
where she was killed.

And i think
it was right here.

Get out of here!

Mr. Bannister
isn't himself tonight.

Perhaps we had better go.

Yeah,
staying up too late, huh?

Yeah, some nights.

Don't forget to tell the cops
to bring the diver.

Silly fools.

I got to find some way
to put an end to this.

That fellow branch
is getting to be pretty...

we, um... we have an appointment
at the st. Regis at 7:30.

Yes.
It's 8:00 now.

Yes, i'll go upstairs
and change.

Come along.
It won't take a minute.

Won't be a minute.

Oh, tommy, you've still got
these awful antiques.

"In the shade
of the old apple tree. "

"Then they'd row, row, row. "
Hmm.

"Waltz me around again, willy. "

Oh, well, this is better.

Say, tommy...
i've just made up my mind

what i'm gonna
give you for christmas.

I'm gonna give you
a brand-new record

of that brand-new tune,
"alexander's ragtime band. "

How's about it, hmm?

Tommy?

Are you there?

Tommy?

Tommy?

Going someplace?

No, I-i was
just a little bit chilly.

Oh, we'll fix
that right up.

We'll have a fire.

There we are.

Cozy, isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

I, uh...

My shower was out of order,
so i took a dip.

You saw me, didn't you?
Yes.

Tommy, do you realize
we have a dinner engagement?

Oh,
let's have a drink first.

But it takes over an hour
to get there.

Oh, a couple of minutes
more or less won't matter.

Sharon, darling, you're all
upset about this silly business.

You've got that fellow branch
on your mind, haven't you?

Tommy,
i really think we should go.

What was the latest idea
that idiot had?

Oh, yes, something about
a vanity case.

We're dreadfully late,
you know.

What of it? Let them wait.
They'll never miss us.

Besides, we've never really
had an evening alone together?

Tommy, i want to go, eh?
I'll tell you,

we'll have some of that
good old bannister sherry.

Wait a minute.
What's the rush?

You did.
You killed her!

Sharon! Sharon!
Let go of me!

Let go of me,
i tell you!

There he is, boss!

What? Look out.
Whew, wait a minute.

Yeah, well, pardon me
for being late, bannister,

but after i saw you dive, i had a little
trouble getting out of your woodpile.

Remember the shift,
boss!

Call the police.

Yes, sir.
What's the number?

Aah!

3-100.

How'd you know
about the vanity case?

There wasn't any vanity case.
I made that one up.

Aah!

Keep it up, boss.
I'll get my camera.

Oh!

Oh, this is...
this is terrible, terrible!

Barlow.
Barlow: Yes, ma'am?

Isn't this too awful?
It is indeed, ma'am.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Has miss sharon
gone for her ride yet?

No, ma'am. Miss sharon
has not gone for her ride.

Oh! What time
did she get in?

About 5:00, ma'am.

5:00? This morning?
Yes, ma'am.

Oh!
Who brought her home?

Mr. Branch.
Mr. Branch?

What time did he leave?

I don't think he has left,
ma'am.

Barlow, really.

Ohh!

Answer the bell, barlow.
Certainly, ma'am.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Good morning, barlow.
Good morning, sir.

Mrs. Norwood in?
Yes, sir.

I shall like to see her.
Certainly, sir.

Oh, good morning,
mrs. Norwood.

Good morning, mr. Jordan.

Uh, where's mr. Branch?

Mr. Branch?
Yes.

W- w-w-what made you
think he was here?

Well, he telephoned the paper
half an hour ago

and told the desk how to handle
the bannister case,

then he hung up.

We found
he telephoned from here.

From here? I see.
Yes.

B- but I-i'm sure...
uh, i mean...

I- i'd like to see
mr. Branch.

Yes, certainly, of course.
I mean, to be sure.

Barlow, where are they?

I'm afraid they're
in the guest room, madame.

Guest.

Shall i call mr. Branch?

Yes. No, no, no!
I'll do it.

If you would excuse me,
just a minute.

Why, yes, of course.

But i would like to see
mr. Branch.

Yes,
j- j-j-just a moment.

Sharon, how could you?

Shh! Shh!

Oh, I-i'm sorry.

Good morning, mr. Jordan.
Mother, it was his idea.

The best idea
i've ever had.

He said it was no use waking
you up at 4:00 in the morning

just to see us
get married.

Married?!

Oh! You see,
they're married.