Original subtitles

HEY, GUYS. HEY.

LONG DAY AT WORK, HUH, MA? WE WERE GONNA HAVE DINNER WITHOUT YOU,

BUT THEN WE REMEMBERED, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO COOKS IT.

VAN, I WORK, YOU DON'T. WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD COOK?

WELL, I THINK IT SHOULD BE THAT GUY ON TV WHO GOES, "BAM," BUT HE'S NOT HERE.

ARE YOU TRYIN' TO GET A WHUPPIN'?

SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU HAVEN'T FOUND YOUR ASSISTANT.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU CHECK ALL THOSE REFERENCES, MOM.

WELL, I'VE TALKED TO ALL THEIR PAROLE OFFICERS.

WELL, A BUNCH OF PEOPLE CALLED HERE TODAY. I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL DAY.

BOY, UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE ARE SURE CHATTY. YEAH.

WELL, I'M DESPERATE. DOES ANYBODY SOUND INTERESTING?

TELL HER ABOUT THAT GUY THAT CALLED THIS AFTERNOON. HE SOUNDED REALLY GOOD.

- HE DID? TELL ME. - LET'S SEE. HE'S IN HIS EARLY 20s, MARRIED, HAS A KID.

SOUNDED LIKE A PRETTY COOL GUY. HE REALLY WANTED THE JOB.

OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S HIM. THAT'S THE GUY! OH, GIVE ME HIS NUMBER.

I DON'T THINK HE LEFT A NUMBER. HE HAD TO. SEE IF HE LEFT A MESSAGE.

OKAY, I'LL GO DO THAT. WHY DON'T YOU START SHAKING A POT.

WE GOTTA FIND THAT GUY. HOW MUCH DOES A BOUNTY HUNTER COST?

WOW. YOU'RE REALLY WORKED UP ABOUT THIS, HUH?

CHEYENNE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE OUT THERE.

ONE GUY WANTED TWO WEEKS OFF SO HE COULD GO BACK TO MIDDLE-EARTH.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW WHAT YOU DO.

YOU DIAL STAR-69. IT'LL CALL HIM RIGHT BACK.

NOBODY USED THE PHONE SINCE HE CALLED? NO.

OH, MY GOD. YEAH.

HELLO. DON'T HANG UP ON ME. MY NAME IS REBA HART, AND I GOT A JOB FOR YOU.

AND MY NAME IS VAN MONTGOMERY, AND I'LL TAKE IT!

HA, HEY!

♪ MY ROOTS ARE PLANTED IN THE PAST ♪

♪ THOUGH MY LIFE IS CHANGING FAST ♪

♪ WHO I AM IS WHO I WANT TO BE ♪

♪ A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TOO HARD ♪

♪ WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS ♪

♪ WITH GENTLE HANDS ♪

♪ AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER ♪

♪ I'M A SURVIVOR ♪♪

OKAY, JAKE, SINCE VAN'S GONNA BE WORKIN' WITH ME,

YOU'RE GONNA BE HOME ALONE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AFTER SCHOOL.

- YOU GONNA BE OKAY? - DON'T WORRY, MOM. I'LL BE FINE.

I HAVE EVERYONE'S PHONE NUMBER AND A BOX OF MATCHES TO PLAY WITH.

WELL, ON THE PLUS SIDE, THE HOUSE WILL BE FULL WITH FIREMEN WHEN I GET HOME.

SCOOT.

I'M GONNA BE ALONE IN THE HOUSE AFTER SCHOOL.

TELL SOME OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TO STOP BY.

VAN, HURRY UP! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK.

YOU KNOW THE BOSS SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY, "GET OUTTA YOUR PAJAMAS."

SO, IT'S TRUE, MOM? YOU ACTUALLY HIRED VAN?

YES, I DID. YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT MORE.

BUT, YOU KNOW, GIVE THE FAMILY A CHANCE, RIGHT?

VAN'S BETTER THAN NOTHIN'.

RIGHT, KYRA?

YOU'D BE BETTER OFF PUTTING A TIE ON A MONKEY AND LETTING IT LOOSE IN YOUR OFFICE.

COME ON, VAN. LET'S GO!

VAN, COME ON.

VAN MONTGOMERY AT YOUR SERVICE.

WELL, HELLO, LITTLE LADY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A HOUSE?

SERIOUSLY, MOM.

VAN, YOU'RE NOT SELLIN' HOUSES.

YOU'RE MY ASSISTANT, WHO HAPPENS TO BE LATE FOR HIS FIRST DAY OF WORK.

OH, COME ON. I'M GOLDEN. I'M MARRIED TO THE BOSS'S DAUGHTER.

THERE HE IS. HEY, VAN.

I BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.

THAT'S MY VERY FIRST BRIEFCASE. WOW.

YEAH. IT MUST BE A HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

IT, UH, SMELLS LIKE SOCKS.

YEAH, I USED TO CARRY MY WORKOUT GEAR IN THERE BACK IN THE '80s.

YOU KNOW, I WAS THE ONLY STRAIGHT GUY AT JAZZERCISE.

AH!

SO, REBA, VERY SMART.

HIRING SOMEBODY IN THE FAMILY THAT YOU COULD TRUST.

YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY SOMEBODY WHO CAN TYPE 80 WORDS A MINUTE.

WHAT? I CAN'T TYPE THAT FAST.

OH, NO. WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S ME.

VAN MUST BE THE PERSON IN THE FAMILY WHO'S TAKEN SEVERAL COMPUTER CLASSES AT THE "Y."

OH, SHOOT. NO, THAT'S ME.

C.P.R. CLASS? ME.

LICENSE TO OPERATE A BACKHOE? ME.

BARBRA JEAN, THE REASON I DIDN'T ASK YOU IF YOU WANTED THE JOB...

IS BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A FULL-TIME MOM.

OH. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THAT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

- SO THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU DIDN'T HIRE ME? - YES.

THAT AND THE YOU-BEING-CRAZY THING. OH.

WELL, YOU TWO HAVE FUN. I'M SURE IT'LL BE GREAT.

OH, ABSOLUTELY. UNLESS SOMEBODY HAS A HEART ATTACK...

OR NEEDS ME TO DIG A TRENCH.

I'LL KEEP MY CELL ON. YEAH.

WELL, ARE YA EXCITED, VAN? YOU READY TO GET STARTED?

YOU BET. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS MORNING IS PRACTICALLY SHOT.

CAN WE JUST GO STRAIGHT TO LUNCH?

WELL, THE MORNING IS PRACTICALLY SHOT...

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET OUTTA BED UNTIL I PUT THAT WAFFLE UNDER YOUR NOSE.

SO IT WASN'T A DREAM.

LOOK, VAN, I NEED YOU TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A JOB TO ME. IT'S MY CAREER.

- AND WHAT YOU DO REFLECTS ON ME. - GOT IT. OKAY.

IN THAT CASE, I'M GONNA NEED ANOTHER HALF HOUR WITH THE HAIR DRYER.

NO, YOU'RE FINE. NO. LISTEN.

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS REMEMBER THE THREE P's TO BE A GOOD EMPLOYEE.

WOW, GOOD THING THERE AREN'T TWO, OR IT'D BE "PEE-PEE."

PUNCTUALITY, PREPAREDNESS AND PROFESSIONALISM. GOT IT?

GOT IT. OKAY. NO, I WASN'T LISTENING. I WAS STILL THINKING ABOUT MY HAIR.

HERE, LET ME GET IT FOR YOU. NOW LET'S GO!

HEY, MOM, I'M GONNA RIDE MY BIKE DOWN THE STAIRS.

WHAT'S THAT? YOU'RE AT WORK?

SWEET.

HEY, JAKEY. I THOUGHT SINCE WE WERE BOTH ALONE, WE COULD SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.

NOW'S NOT THE BEST TIME, BARBRA JEAN.

JAKE, YOU ARE NOT GONNA RIDE THAT BIKE DOWN THOSE STAIRS.

- IT IS TOO DANGEROUS. - THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING DANGEROUS?

WELL, NO.

MY PARENTS WERE REALLY STRICT AND MEAN. THEY NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING.

I DON'T SEE YOUR PARENTS AROUND.

NOW REMEMBER, BARBRA JEAN. IF YOU CRASH, GO LIMP.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, ON THREE.

ONE, TWO, AND...

I TRIED TO STOP HER. THE WOMAN'S INSANE!

YOU WANNA GO FIRST?

YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE LEAST CRAZY THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY.

'CAUSE I GET TO WORK WITH VAN. YEAH!

YEEHAW!

YEAH! YEAH!

SO, REBA, THINGS DIDN'T GO WELL WITH VAN TODAY?

KYRA WAS RIGHT. I SHOULD'VE HIRED A MONKEY.

OH, REBA, YOU CAN'T. THE LAWS ARE SO STRICT.

I COULD JUST KILL VAN.

I WAS SHOWING THIS HOUSE TO A COUPLE FOR, LIKE, THE FIFTH TIME...

WHEN VAN COMES IN... LATE... MM-HMM.

GRABS A COUPLE OF BEERS AND SAYS TO THE HUSBAND,

"HEY, DUDE, YOU WANNA GO OUTSIDE AND SHOOT SOME HOOPS?"

MEN AND BALLS. BUR-DU-BURP-BURP.

OH, CHEYENNE, HONEY.

I THINK I'M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.

TOO LATE. YOU SHOULD'VE PIPED UP AT THE WEDDING.

CHEYENNE, HE STARTED TO INTERFERE WITH MY CLIENTS. I THINK HE COST ME A SALE TODAY.

LOOK, MOM, I HAVE GOT A LOT GOING ON. FOR EIGHT HOURS A DAY, HE'S YOUR PROBLEM.

FINE.

WHEN VAN GETS HOME, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LONG CHAT. YEAH.

BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE OUT THERE MAKING ME LOOK BAD.

I... SOLD THOSE PEOPLE THE HOUSE!

- WHAT DID YOU SAY? - I SAID, "I SOLD THOSE PEOPLE THE HOUSE!"

VAN, YOU COULDN'T HAVE SOLD THEM THAT HOUSE. YOU WERE OUTSIDE PLAYING BASKETBALL.

THAT'S HOW I DID IT. I DIDN'T WANT HIM JUST TO BUY THE HOUSE.

I WANTED HIM TO BUY THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THE LIFESTYLE.

THAT'S HOW THAT GUY SOLD ME THE KAYAK.

WELL, THAT'S JUST...

WOW. GOOD FOR YOU.

GOOD FOR US. I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU DISTRACTING HIS WIFE.

WELL, MAYBE ME SHOWING THE WIFE THE HOUSE...

DID HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE DECISION TOO.

NAH, AFTER YOU LEFT, SHE WAS AGAINST BUYING IT.

BUT THEN I SHOWED CINDY THE GARDEN, AND SHE WAS HOOKED!

YOU SEE, MRS. H, YOU GOTTA KNOW YOUR BUYER.

FOR TONY AND CINDY,

SHOOTIN' HOOP AND HAVING A FEW BEERS...

MADE THAT HOUSE FEEL LIKE THAT COULD BE THEIR HOME.

♪ HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE WHERE THE... ♪

WE WERE SINGING THAT. I'M STILL KINDA BUZZED.

OH, HEY. AH, THAT'S TONY AND CINDY.

HEY! TALK TO BIG DADDY VAN. YEAH!

REBA, ARE YOU OKAY?

YOUR... YOUR FACE IS STARTING TO GET ALL RED.

IT'S STARTING TO MATCH YOUR HAIR.

NO, I'M FINE. I'M HAPPY FOR VAN.

I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT HE CAN JUST WALTZ IN,

MAKE A SALE WITHOUT EVEN TRYING AFTER I'VE DONE ALL THE GROUNDWORK FOR TWO WEEKS.

- WELL, YOU DON'T SOUND HAPPY. - WELL, I AM!

WELL, ALL I KNOW IS THAT IF MY SON-IN-LAW DID THIS...

WELL, WHICH WOULD BE WEIRD, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I ONLY HAVE A SON,

WHICH WOULD MEAN HENRY WOULD HAVE TO BE GAY, YOU KNOW...

I MEAN, I'D LOVE HIM JUST THE SAME, YOU KNOW.

BUT I DON'T THINK HE'S GAY, YOU KNOW.

BUT HE SURE DOES KNOW HIS COLORS.

I'M GONNA GO HOME.

OKAY, JAKE, IF I CAN'T TRUST YOU AT HOME, I'M GONNA HIRE A BABYSITTER.

COOL. BABYSITTER'S ARE HOT.

I DON'T LIKE THIS AGE. GO ON UPSTAIRS TO YOUR ROOM.

HOWDY, PARTNER. HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.

"MONTGOMERY-HART, 'CAUSE YOU GOTTA HAVE... MONTGOMERY."

SEE WHAT I DID THERE? YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA READ "'CAUSE YOU GOTTA HAVE HART."

I WENT THE OTHER WAY.

WELL, I WOULD'VE GONE THE NORMAL WAY, BUT THEN AGAIN, I'M NORMAL.

- WHAT'S THIS FOR EXACTLY? - WE COULD BE PARTNERS.

NO, WE REALLY COULDN'T BE PARTNERS...

BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE YOUR REAL ESTATE LICENSE.

- EH, DETAILS. - HA! NOT DETAILS. IT'S THE LAW.

THAT IS WHAT'S SO GREAT. YOU KNOW THE LAW AND I DON'T CARE.

VAN, BEING A REAL ESTATE AGENT IS HARD. NOT EVERYBODY CAN DO IT.

ARE YOU FORGETTING THAT I SOLD A HOUSE?

ARE YOU FORGETTING THAT I OWN THE HOUSE YOU LIVE IN?

HEY, VAN. HOW'D WORK GO? HOW MANY HOUSES DID YOU SELL TODAY?

STILL JUST THE ONE. BUT THE BIG NEWS...

IS THAT MRS H AND I ARE GONNA BE PARTNERS.

PARTNERS? I HOPE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FIGHTING CRIME.

NO, AND WE'RE NOT GONNA BE PARTNERS.

BUT, MRS H, WE'LL WORK SO GREAT TOGETHER.

YOU COME IN ALL STERN AND TECHNICAL, LIKE, "GRR. LOOK AT THE CLOSETS.

LOOK AT THE SQUARE FOOTAGE."

AND THEN I COME IN ALL COOL.

"HEY, I'M VAN. WHAT'S UP? WANNA BUY A HOUSE?"

AND THEY DO. YOU SHOW THE HOUSE.

I SELL THE HOUSE. YOU TALK 'EM TO DEATH. I SELL THE HOUSE.

I TALK 'EM TO DEATH, VAN?

LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE SCHOOL SYSTEMS AND THE PLUMBING AND THE ROOFING?

SHE CAN GO ON LIKE THAT FOR HOURS.

HEY, VAN, YOU MAY BE MISREADING THE SITUATION.

NO, I'M NOT. ARE YOU GUYS FORGETTING THAT I SOLD A HOUSE?

NO! BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET US FORGET IT.

YOU... RIPPED MY FLIER.

WE'RE NOT GONNA BE PARTNERS. WE'RE NEVER GONNA BE PARTNERS!

IN FACT, I'M GOIN' THE OTHER WAY. YOU'RE FIRED. YOU'RE FIRING ME?

- THIS JUST CAME OUT OF THE BLUE. - NO, REALLY, IT DIDN'T.

I HAD IT DOODLED ALL OVER MY DAY PLANNER.

ALL RIGHT, FINE. FINE. I'LL GET... I'LL GET ANOTHER JOB.

MAYBE I SHOULD FIND SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT GOOD AT SO NO ONE GETS UPSET!

WELL, REBA, WHAT HAPPENED THERE?

I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. I'M HAPPY IT WASN'T ME FOR ONCE.

BUT STILL...

I DON'T KNOW. I WANNA BE HAPPY FOR HIM.

I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HIM! I MEAN, HE'S MY SON-IN-LAW. HE DID A GREAT THING.

- YEAH. AND? - AND PART OF ME WANTS TO BE HAPPY FOR HIM.

AND THE OTHER PART WANTS TO JUST SMACK HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD!

LOOK, IT'S TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE THAT YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS.

I MEAN, HE MADE A QUICK SALE. HE'S YOUNG. HE'S GOOD-LOOKIN'.

HE EATS LIKE A PIG AND STAYS IN MARVELOUS SHAPE.

I MEAN, IF I WEREN'T EXACTLY LIKE HIM, HEY, I'D WANNA SMACK HIM TOO.

YEAH.

SO YOU DON'T THINK I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR FEELING THIS WAY?

NO.

IT'S JUST THAT IT'S SO EASY FOR HIM AND SO HARD FOR ME.

I HAVE A LOT RIDIN' ON THIS.

SOMETIMES I LIE IN BED AT NIGHT AND WONDER

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF THIS DON'T WORK OUT.

REMEMBER WHEN I GOT OUT OF COLLEGE AND WE STARTED THE DENTAL PRACTICE?

YEAH. I WAS NERVOUS. I MADE MISTAKES. YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED?

WE GOT THAT MALPRACTICE INSURANCE?

NO, I RELAXED AND EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.

OKAY. YOU'RE JUST TOO UPTIGHT. I MEAN,

VAN SOLD THAT HOUSE BECAUSE HE WAS RELAXED.

HE WAS JUST BEING HIMSELF. AND PEOPLE CAN SENSE THAT.

SO YOU THINK I OUGHTA BE MORE LIKE VAN? WELL, YEAH.

OH, COME ON, BROCK! I GOT THREE IMPORTANT APPOINTMENTS TOMORROW.

I CAN'T ACT LIKE SOME SURFER ON COUGH MEDICINE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACT LIKE HIM. YOU JUST HAVE TO THINK LIKE HIM. GIVE IT A TRY.

NO. OKAY, FINE, FINE. DON'T CHANGE.

BE ALL, "GRR. LOOK AT THE CLOSETS."

OKAY, FINE. I'LL THINK LIKE VAN.

OW, THAT HURTS.

JUST MAKE YOUR MIND GO COMPLETELY BLANK.

HI. I'M BARBRA JEAN.

VAN, IT'S NOON. GET UP. RISE AND SHINE.

OH, MAN. I WAS DREAMIN' ABOUT WAFFLES!

COME ON. GET UP. GET A TIE ON, BOY. WE GOT WORK TO DO.

- I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD AT ME. - WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?

BECAUSE YOU YELLED AT ME, FIRED ME AND TORE MY FLIER.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT, VAN. I WAS FEELIN', WELL, INSECURE.

AND I WAS TAKIN' IT OUT ON YOU.

BUT I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ANYMORE, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHY? I SOLD A HOUSE THIS MORNING.

- WHAT? YOU? - YES. YES.

I GOT TO THINKING THAT YOU DON'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY, AND SO I DIDN'T.

AND IT WORKED.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? YOU TAUGHT ME SOMETHING.

LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF I SAID YESTERDAY.

TURNS OUT THAT WE COULD REALLY BE A GOOD TEAM.

SO MONTGOMERY-HART IS BACK IN BUSINESS?

WELL, HART IS. MONTGOMERY IS HER VALUABLE ASSISTANT...

WHO HAS LOTS OF TALENT,

BUT NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO ACT LIKE A PROFESSIONAL.

OH, COME ON, MRS H. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE AT THE OFFICE THAT DOESN'T GO FOR THIS.

VAN, LOOK.

YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE GOOD TIMES YOU WANT.

BUT IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'...

AND BE PREPARED, NONE OF THAT MEANS ANYTHING.

THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN LEARN FROM ME. SO GET UP, GET DRESSED,

AND LET'S SELL, SELL, SELL.

WE GOT A BUSY DAY TODAY. WE GOT TWO OPEN HOUSES, A CARAVAN, AND A...

AN EMPTY LIQUOR BOTTLE.

VAN, WHAT'S THIS?

UH...

WELL, I, UH... I WAS GONNA PUT A SHIP IN IT.

VAN, IS THIS WHY YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING LATE AND NOT SHOWING UP FOR STUFF?

BECAUSE HAVING A FEW BEERS IS ONE THING,

BUT... HIDING BOTTLES IN YOUR CLOSET IS NOT GOOD.

YEAH, BUT, MRS H...

I KNOW. VAN, LOOK.

I KNOW IT'S BEEN PRETTY ROUGH ON YOU SINCE YOU LEFT FOOTBALL,

BUT WITH THIS REAL ESTATE THING, I THINK YOU

FOUND SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN BE REALLY GOOD AT.

AND THAT WOULD JUST BE PLUMB STUPID IF YOU LET THIS DRINKING MESS IT ALL UP.

OKAY. VAN, YOU NEED TO PROMISE ME THAT THIS IS GONNA END.

I PROMISE.

GOOD. SO GET DRESSED AND COME ON DOWNSTAIRS,

BECAUSE NEXT TIME, IT WON'T BE JUST A WAFFLE.

IT'LL BE THE WAFFLE IRON.

HEY, MA. HEY, CHEYENNE.

SO I JUST DROPPED ELIZABETH OFF AT DAY CARE.

WHAT'S WRONG?

IS THIS YOUR BOTTLE?

WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IS MY BOTTLE?

WELL, IT'S NOT MINE. AND IF IT'S NOT YOURS,

THEN OUR THREE-YEAR-OLD HAS A MAJOR PROBLEM.

WHAT'S GOING ON, CHEYENNE?

ACME!