Original subtitles

- Morino!

- Scram!

Scram on home to your straw bed!

- Aw shut up!

- I know, I know!

No more leering today.

Run along, sonny.

Aye!

The zipper!

- Tada!

If Rome can't be shot in a day it won't be my fault.

Ciao.

- Ciao.

♪ Touch me ♪

♪ It's like magic when you touch me ♪

♪ I was yours the very moment I first knew you ♪

♪ Your magic touch ♪

♪ Holding ♪

- Admission is by invitation only.

- It cost me a fistful of lira to persuade

your landlady that I'm really an old friend.

Well a friend of an old friend.

Wallace Drucker.

Bearer of tidings from William Winthrop II.

- She gave him the divorce.

- Not exactly.

- He needed an ambassador to tell me this?

When did you hear?

- Monday.

Long, long letter.

He hinted you left in a bit of a huff.

Said to tell you that you're still his number one girl.

And that he's holding another heart to heart

with his wife this week.

- Another.

- How about that witch in the manger, hmm?

Anyway, Billy's in no mood to wait.

He begged me to fly down here.

Find his girl.

Send her home.

- Why you, Mr. Drucker?

- Surely you've heard Billy speak

of our ancient transatlantic friendship.

We've operated a flourishing

New York/London partnership for years.

Specializing in ships and metals.

Slightly used oil tankers and scrap iron.

And of course love.

Did you make any more records?

- No.

- How's Billy making out with his sideline?

What's his record company called?

- Private label.

-Ah.

- I'm sure you know he didn't

go into it for a profit motive.

- Well I will say it's the first time

he's ever struck talent.

And he's been drilling a long long time.

One more thing in my pouch.

He commissioned me to give you this.

A kiss from Billy boy.

♪ Your magic touch ♪

- Well I must say I understand

why he wants you back in a hurry.

- How could you possibly misunderstand?

- You know, I have a hunch that Billy

sent the wrong man on this mission.

But now that we're face to face

I can't help wondering if you know that Billy's

been talking about this divorce for the last 10 years.

And between you and me that's all it'll ever be.

Talk.

I mean to say this is the first time

I've been torn between loyalty and honesty.

- Don't torture yourself, Mr. Drucker.

- Wally.

- Wally.

Look, I've known for a long time

that I'd be going home sooner or later.

But when I go home I'm not going home to William II.

Not sooner, not later, not ever.

- I say.

Well that does open the vistas.

Here I am with three weeks playtime ahead of me.

I was considering a seat change,

but suddenly Rome seems more attractive.

Unless a rather giddy yachting party

happens to appeal to you.

- Didn't Bill tell you that I'm a working girl?

That I always have been, that I earned my own living?

I'm a fashion model.

- With talent like that?

- More than enough.

- So you're a model.

- I'm a clothes horse.

Like a horse is the way I work.

As a matter of fact I worked 10 hours today

and I am very tired.

So if you'll excuse me.

- Well I suppose it wouldn't work anyway.

Billy would be furious to hear

his girl has jumped the leash.

- That yachting party.

Small, intimate I suppose huh?

- On the contrary.

A full contingent of movie stars, obsolete titles,

wrinkled old skin divers, and Axel Jensen himself.

Axel's little houseboat sails for Majorca next week.

Sleeps 30.

If you wanted to you could lose me

with the greatest of ease.

Three weeks of sun and fun in the Greek Isles.

Haven't you earned it?

At 10 hours a day for how many years?

Hmm?

Why not?

- Why not.

That is if you don't mind cabling Billy boy

and informing him of the development.

- Right.

I'll break the news to Billy boy.

He got me out in Paris last trip.

And we'll fly to Majorca.

I've got a plane.

Now shall we dance?

- Storm's about over.

Grazie.

- Spagett in cans.

Very good for the spirit.

Have a drink, Morino.

- No grazie.

- Not even one little small drink?

- Oh pour me, grandfather.

I'm a woman in full bloom.

- When you get the ring, that's when the bloom will be full.

Until then, for children?

Wine.

- But I must practice myself.

What if for my wedding night I take

my first sorsetti and it come back huh?

- Retching is lofty and becoming on the part of maidens.

-Mmmm.

Good.

Plane.

Out of gas.

Stay here!

- Hello there.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah.

- Wally's in there!

- Morino!

- No no, never touch electrical systems in crashed planes!

Oh my leg!

Laura I can't move.

- Oh Wally.

It's a piece of metal holding you like a hook.

I don't know how we're gonna get that out.

- Watch the gypsy.

Where's my wallet?

- Oh Wally, please.

- Grazie.

Molto grazie.

- Aw shut up!

I get Moore.

- Laura!

- I'll find someone.

Somewhere.

We don't need any strangers here.

- While you're talking about it

that man in there could be bleeding to death.

- I'm sorta suffering from shock myself.

- He's rich.

- Well let's get with it, lady.

- Took long enough, chum!

Have a heart now.

- You can help by passing out.

You mean the storm blew us all the way down here?

- Yes, we're right here by Sardinia.

- You're generous with that liquor, darling,

but don't let me overdo it.

Hey what's going on here?

What is this, a chamber of horrors?

- Wally, we can't get a doctor here.

If your leg is going to heal up it has to be sewn.

- With What?

- Fish net thread and needle.

- Oh no you don't!

I'm armed, you know I am, Laura.

I'm calling the terms now.

- All right, call it and relax.

- Look, you're no doctor!

You're gonna give me blood poisoning with that stiletto!

- Wally have a drink.

- No!

Hey, how about money though huh?

Big money, real money!

- Can't charge, no license.

Now hold him will you?

- I hope you know what you're doing.

- Sure.

I used to lace footballs in college.

- Do us a favor, Wally, and pass out again will you?

Look.

That castle.

Why didn't you...

Why should we crowd you when there's

all that room up there to live in?

- Urbano earns a yearly pittance

from the government keeping itinerant fishermen

and wrecked plane survivors out of there.

- Who's to know or care?

- You'd know or care if the roof fell in on you.

Happened to a family of squatters turn of the century.

I don't think that chimney's gonna hold under my weight.

- Well.

Here's hoping it holds under mine.

First time I ever wanted my slip to show.

You know, I can't get over it.

Just the three of you on this whole island.

Doesn't it get lonely?

- We like it.

- If nobody sees that distress signal

how long might we be stuck here?

- Oh about five weeks.

- Five weeks?

Oh that's a joke.

- Not until the island cutter pays us his next visit.

That's why I'll have to ask you not to use

any fresh water when you shampoo again.

- Well other boats, what about them?

And planes and-

- Too far off course.

Unless you expect to be missed.

- I don't know, Mr. Moore.

We were flying to Majorca to join

a party on Axel Jensen's yacht.

Two week cruise.

But the odds are-

- That Axel Jensen never counts noses.

- If you feel the intrusion so much let's hope

it gets results before the five weeks are up.

Now about Wally.

- He'll be all right.

- You know, you sew a mean seam.

Were you ever a tailor in civilian life?

What I meant was about Wally's clothes.

- His clothes?

- Yes, I mean mine too, so if you'd

help me get our bags out of the plane.

I don't know what your circumstances are,

but Wally doesn't expect anything for free.

- Two bits a bag will be about right.

♪ Touch me ♪

♪ It's like magic when you touch me ♪

- Grazie.

- Not even one little.

- Be polite.

Speak inglese.

- Si.

That's the part that gets me every time.

Right here.

- You know Laura, I'm toying with the notion

that Moore may have actually hit on a saner way of life.

I could almost go for it right now.

Except.

Whiskey flows like water here and you never touch a drop.

Bothers me.

Beachcombers always drink.

- Why don't you try to hobble around a little huh?

- Too soon, dear.

No seriously, how about Moore's design for living?

Appeals to me.

Think you can settle for a desert island

instead of Majorca, Laura?

- The thought of letting you off so cheaply fairly gags me.

- No no, bambina.

You stay here.

Drink this and sleep well, businessman.

- Grazie, grandfather.

- Bene bene bene, sleep sleep sleep.

Molto bene.

Molto bene.

- So you don't enjoy my baiting Moore huh?

- I have to live here too you know.

- Where you going?

- To get a little fresh air.

- You're not thinking of begging my pardon for me are you?

- Why...

Oh!

You took my slip off the chimney.

What about our distress signal, Moore?

- Must have blown off huh?

- No huh.

Why do you lie about it?

- About what?

- My slip!

My slip!

- I might get bored with this subject

and push you off into that black water down there.

- Sure you might.

You might shoot me with that gun too.

What's the reason for that?

Why do you always have it around?

- I'm on the lamb.

- At least that would be some excuse

for putting up with this starvation diet.

Little stinging sand flies

and sand in your food, sand in your bed, sand...

- Lady don't pester too much.

The cutter will get here when it gets here.

And the way we're living is the way

we want to go on living, so cut it out.

- So don't take down the signals.

That was shortsighted of you.

But very much in character.

I'd forgotten how long I've known you.

- Known me?

- Yes, I've known you rich and poor, married, single.

You lone wolves.

What are you doing here?

You belong on an island with nobody on it.

- It's just what I was looking for.

Here so you won't get lost.

- It stopped.

- Don't believe it.

It can rain for weeks in these pest holds.

Look at that sun.

Blistering.

We drown for two days and now we boil.

Now why's he glued to this every day?

- Says he's looking for a date farmer.

- A date farmer.

A date farmer?

I don't get any part of this seedy setup yet.

But I jolly well intend to.

- How you shine in adversity.

Blinds me to your fault.

- What does that mean?

What are you doing?

- This ought to catch some roving sailor's eye.

- Now look, you said if it stopped raining

we'd take our first long walk today.

- Be right back.

- Next shampoo's on the house.

- Moore.

- Yeah?

- This is just a question, not the bell for the next round.

- Shoot.

- What in the name of my curiosity are you doing here?

- Well they say that every man dreams of escaping

to a desert island some time in his life.

I'm the guy who did it, that's all.

- Except your island wasn't deserted.

- Luckily for me.

- Now let's have your real reason for dawdling here.

- Who's in a hurry?

What's your hurry?

- I've come this far.

So when Axel Jensen's yacht sails

for Majorca I wanna be on it, that's all.

- There's something in the way you say Axel Jensen.

The other day too.

- No matter who says it.

It still means the same thing, $100 million.

- You like the sound of that.

- So far I've only caught the echoes.

- You'll be able to promote yourself

another pass to the big show.

You're beautiful, that's the ticket.

- Is this the point where the girl says

"Please don't judge by appearances.

"I haven't taken advantage as much

"as I've been taken advantage of"?

- What's that supposed to be?

- Latest model in signals.

Care to help me hoist?

- Sure.

- Let's hope it stays up this time huh?

There.

- So you're tired of not taking advantage.

Now instead of squandering your tangible assets

you're gonna capitalize on them.

I say that's a point most women reach sooner or later.

By the way, what's Wally in your promotion?

Principal or just an agent?

- You can bet he takes those signals down

just for the kicks he gets helping you put them up.

There he goes.

- Oh, the telescope again.

- He told me what a date farmer does.

He dives for "datarie del mare" dates of the sea.

Little shellfish that live in the bottom of the ocean.

That's what a date farmer does.

- So why the 24 hour alert?

- Eh, all of a sudden his English failed him.

Actually it's Americanese.

Like every other Italian he's lived in America a few years.

Oh, but he told me plenty.

Everything but what I want to know.

Who is Moore?

- Wally, this is far enough your first time out.

- No no.

I wanna see what's over this way.

Unless you've already looked.

- No, not yet.

- Used to be a path leading down here.

And it's been covered.

A yacht.

An ocean-going yacht.

- What is it, a shipwreck?

- Beached.

Deliberately permanently beached.

Come on, let's have a look.

Tell you this.

No one man can launch her again unless he's

a better sailor than the man who put her here.

He must have sailed her in

with every rag flying on high tide.

And that took some doing, Laura.

It's hard to believe isn't it?

- No.

Is anything too peculiar to believe about Moore?

- Perdido.

That ought to ring a bell.

Doesn't.

- Means lost.

- Well we found it.

And you can bet that's why

he camouflaged that path up there.

He didn't want us to.

- Here.

- You know what you're seeing?

Huh?

Mahogany finish.

Deep decks.

Copper bottom.

This was a boat!

She can go anywhere.

If he was a hoodlum it wasn't for peanuts.

- Hoodlum.

- Criminal the way he let this boat go.

Suppose he's one of those disappearing atomic scientists?

Hey, not a log book in the lot.

Anyway, he's a chap who never hesitated

when the barkeep asked him what he wanted.

- Maybe his last name is really Pinch-Bottle.

He's a margin marker.

"Good consists in maintaining,

"assisting, and enhancing life.

"And that to destroy, to harm, or to hinder life is evil."

- Now just when and why did he stop drinking?

Distinguished Service Cross.

Look!

-Hmm?

"For Valor."

Alcohol has eaten the inscription away though.

- Think what this stuff does to your stomach.

Well if he's willing to let the Perdido rot here.

He might let us borrow it huh?

- But you said it would take-

- It would take a better man to launch it

than the man that put it here.

That's me.

But the first thing, my pet, is getting him to lend it.

And that's you.

- Me?

Oh now look Wally, I-

- There's no wild rush.

You're not gonna waste the privacy are you?

The beautiful privacy.

- Wally, this isn't really privacy

and Moore's liable to remind us of it at any...

All right.

I'll ask him for the boat.

Now.

- Go ahead.

I'll snoop around here a bit more.

- Wally.

-Hmm?

- If he mentions money what are you willing to pay?

- Oh I'll leave that up to you.

Between you and me I'll go fairly high.

To secure my present investment.

- Hi.

Where is everybody?

- Hunting crabs for the supa de peste.

- Oh.

Fish soup again huh?

- Groceries around this kitchen will get worse.

And more so.

What three will eat in five days, five will eat in three.

But don't trouble your conscience.

You're in your own house.

Aye!

- Here, sit down.

- Grazie, grazie.

Grazie, grazie, grazie.

- Señor Varno.

Tell me.

Don't you think that I'm a bad influence

around here with my lipstick and...

Well you know.

- Cultures vary.

You are innocent too.

In your way.

- Well what I'm getting at.

Would you help persuade Mr. Moore to lend us his boat?

We found it today.

- Persuade?

He'd be happy to see you go.

If that's your wish.

- Yes?

Well why did he take my second slip off the chimney then?

- A strong wind.

Into the sea.

- Well anyway, we need the boat.

Urbano, we want out.

- Bene.

I see now.

You don't want stranger watching your courtship.

Your happiness.

- Let's put it another way.

I hate it here.

Urbano please.

You know how to handle him.

If you talk to him just in the right way

at the right time I'm sure-

- Hey, good catch!

- Bene!

- Look at these.

- Ah, bene, bene, belissime!

Amico.

- Yeah?

- May they borrow the boat?

- Sure.

- Good.

- Mr. Moore, if you're so anxious to get us off your back,

why didn't you think of lending us the boat?

- There's a lot of work repairing and launching it.

- Wally can do it.

- I don't think he can.

- He's a better man than you...

Think.

- Sorry to rush you, old boy, but today's a working day.

- Here.

If they fit, wear them in good health.

It's too hot for skirts.

- Hey Moore.

- Yeah?

- Since you shelved the Perdido,

for good it looked like, would you consider selling it?

- I'll consider it.

- Of course that'll involve messing around

with the papers, but if the price is right hmm?

Your registration is in order I presume, hmm?

You got the papers?

We'll mess around with the papers

when we make the deal.

- When will that be?

- After you've launched her.

- All right, let's get a move on.

- Without breakfast?

- You're the one who says we're eating too much.

We'll settle for lunch.

- Morino.

You like?

- Let's encourage an early sailing, shall we?

- Laura!

Someone has poured water into every cylinder.

Someone, did I say?

That joker's off his rocker!

- Moore?

He doesn't seem that crazy.

- Would you call him sane?

When he stole our rescue the night of the crash,

when he hid the boat and then agreed to loan it?

The disappearing signals?

Oh he's cunning, I grant you.

Take the double-talk about selling me the boat.

He doesn't want to give me a look at the ship's papers.

It's illegal to change a boat's name you know.

- Why would he want to change it?

- What's he doing with a boat like this?

He's crooked, that's what.

- You just said he was crazy.

- So he's a crazy crook!

Don't you fret, puss.

He won't stop us.

Urbano says high tide's due next week.

We'll be ready.

- Wally, we're only gonna sail her to the mainland.

This talk of buying.

I mean is it worth it?

- I want this yacht.

She's a real find.

But I wouldn't buy thousands of dollars

worth of boat ride for myself alone.

So you tell me.

Is it worth it?

I could teach you all I know about sailing.

- Wally, be suave like before.

Like at a table with candlelight

and stiff cover charge huh?

- Don't really know me yet do you?

I'm a hard character in my own way.

Don't forget it.

Just a crashing boar huh?

You can't kid me.

It's Moore.

- What do you mean Moore?

- I'm not a complete fool.

You let that loon get under your skin.

Why don't you admit it?

Admit it, Laura.

Hey.

- In the mood for food?

- Who was that?

- Urbano.

- Urbano make it down those rocks?

It was Moore.

- As a matter of fact I think it was Costanza-

- I know it was Moore!

What I don't know is was the kiss for me or for him?

He's taken it down again.

- Laura I warn you, he's dangerous.

Probably schizo.

Right hand doesn't know what his left hand's doing.

All right, laugh if you want to.

- I want to, but I can't.

Any luck?

- It's just that the clams don't dig me.

- Nice of you to volunteer.

Poor pickings on this beach though.

Where's Wally?

- A roll of wire turned up missing this morning.

It was here last night.

He's gone to get some.

- To the plane?

- No, to the wire tree.

- Give him this.

- Whatever for?

- Exhaust hose, he'll need it.

I've been using it on the sink.

- You're being very helpful.

- If there's anything else you need just holler.

- Wire!

- Sorry, I don't have any.

- Well I must say this for you.

You're full of little surprises.

Disappearing wire and then reappearing hose.

You think I'll ever find the missing piece?

Something so I'll be able to make some sense out of you?

- If you do, please let me be the first to know.

- Hey!

Hello out there!

Hey!

Hey!

Keep coming!

Keep coming!

Come on in!

Come in!

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot, I'm a friend!

We need help!

- Stop!

Don't shoot!

What's the matter with you?

- He come close and he'll kill you!

You see?

- Well with my aim I'm liable to kill him.

Come on!

- So long, junior!

- Thanks for the quick service, baby.

- For nothing, sweetheart.

- First my nylon slip.

Then my lace petticoat.

Now my skin.

- Water in the cylinders, stolen distributor wire,

and now armed attack on a rescue boat!

You're keeping us here and I know why!

- Why?

Wally!

- Why?

- 'Cause you're insane!

- What you greeted as a rescue mission

is a man who wants to kill me.

- He could have taken us out of here,

but then you couldn't sell us your boat huh?

- Off, Wally.

Way way off.

- Don't forget, you made a verbal

commitment to sell the Perdido.

Laura you're my witness.

Laura where you going?

- To the boat.

I need a drink.

- Good, let's both get drunk.

- I have a remedy for what ails you.

One raw sardine.

Swallowed whole with goat's milk.

- Thanks, I'll skip breakfast.

Disgustingly healthy.

- They practice themselves

to swim the point around tomorrow.

- Why?

- Just to do the thing.

- That man in the boat yesterday.

Is that the date farmer?

Gavino.

- Does he want to kill Moore?

- Since five years Gavino comes and goes.

Between the day trucks and his village on Sardinia.

He has no doubts about Costanza for his wife.

He only waits for her to grow a little.

One day he comes and looks and sees.

Like that.

- The serpent had crawled into the garden.

- A stranger comes, a friend stays.

One week, two, then bang.

Moore finds out that it's Gavino.

He says I go, Costanza says you stay.

I'm not promised to that Sardinal,

so Moore defends himself.

- But is Gavino shooting to kill?

- He defends his honors.

Yes, he shoots to kill.

Moore knows.

That's why he watches.

And thus it goes until the ceremony in the spring.

When her life is joined to Moore's.

Maybe then Gavino stops shooting.

Maybe not.

- Well.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Old Saradinian proverb.

- Taking a little sun?

- No.

I'm going to swim the point around.

- Why?

- Just to do the same.

- Can't say you're not in shape, but for swimming?

Don't try it today.

Rough sea!

Watch out for the current, it's strong!

Take it wide around the point!

- Thank you.

- How about that.

How about that.

Laura!

I trust you enjoyed your swim!

You know those distributor wires?

This time they've been cut!

Oh there's a method in this madness.

He'd like to see me lose my mind.

If he swiped the whole distributor, or the rotor.

But no, he cuts the leads.

I have to call him on this one.

I've got to call him!

I'll sue him!

- I'm sorry I worried you.

That's a lie.

I don't care what you are.

- What am I?

- I don't know.

I should care, but I...

Everyone has his problems hasn't he?

- Sure.

Mine are my own, nobody else's.

- That's unreal.

You can't live that way.

- I'll live.

- Like this?

On this pile of rocks with a pretty child to amuse you

and a wise old man to do your thinking for you?

What's gonna happen when the Wallys

and the Lauras start crowding in?

You gonna keep moving?

What happens when Gavino finally lands?

You're gonna keep missing him with that gun?

- I'll solve it my own way.

Just don't mix your problems with mine.

You got your sights all set.

Axel Jensen or bust.

Stay with it, it'll pay off.

- I saw it!

And I'm on to you now.

It isn't money and I don't buy that nut act.

You're a sadist and a lecher.

And you've had your eye on Laura from the start.

And you cut the wires to keep her here

so you could get your dirty mitts on her.

You're not going to get away with it!

The primitive life, yeah.

But take somebody else's woman for spice!

- On second thought, you'll look a long time before you find

somebody who's better suited to you than Wally.

- We swam the point around.

- Tide was out.

Well.

It's nice engineering.

- God and the tides be willing,

we'll be gone by the end of the week.

- Urbano's planning kind of a farewell dinner.

Sort of a let bygones be bygones ham bake.

Save a little time for it huh?

Come.

- Something's improved his disposition.

Could it be the prospect of seeing the last of us?

Okay Laura!

- Wally, I'm gonna go get cleaned up

for the farewell dinner.

Lovely word isn't it?

- Yeah.

- You coming?

- Look, after sleeping aboard since the fight

I don't wanna leave the boat unguarded now.

Here, give this to Moore.

- $5,000?

- Down payment.

Now let's see what kind of papers

and terms that price loses.

- Well I'll see what happens.

- Be here early for the shove off.

- Yep.

- High tide's around noon.

See what this is?

Patch paint.

- So?

- Ten to one there's another name underneath.

And I have an exact and sensational idea what it'll be.

But I'm not sounding off 'til I'm sure.

Would you collect what's left of our luggage?

- Oh, here.

Let me do that.

- No no no no no.

You are the guest of honors.

Moore.

A farewell dance with the guest.

- Pronto!

- Where's Wally?

I saved this for him.

- Oh, well I'll have to take him some.

He's awfully busy with last minute things on the boat.

He asks you to excuse him.

And I'd like to say for both Wally and me

that we know how much discomfort

and inconvenience we've caused you.

And we'll always be grateful to you.

- You exaggerate, my dear.

- Here's to a successful launching.

- Oh!

Wait, wait.

So that we're sure that it's a perfectly legal launching.

Here.

Wally's down payment.

And I suppose he'll wanna know about the balance

and see the papers and things like that.

- Trip to Majorca's on me.

- What?

- Tell Wally to tie up at the Club Nautical.

Send word of your arrival via the cutter Elena.

I'll tear this up when I hear.

- But why should you?

Wally wants to buy the Perdido.

- We're sure to disagree about price.

- Well how can you be so sure?

- Well let's spare ourselves

the unpleasant possibility shall we?

We trust each other don't we?

- Implicitly.

- Aw drop dead.

- Your English gets better and better.

- Now.

- To your virgin voyage.

- Grazie.

And I drink to the mother of you all.

Whoever she may be.

- What do you know.

Well hello there.

- Aw shut up.

- How many times have you seen electric lights?

- Many times.

Four.

- Well how about a radio?

Ever hear a radio?

Moore hid the tubes, but I found them.

Hey, I'll tune into mambo in the cabin.

Comprende?

Shake a leg, chop chop.

Nice music huh?

- Chop chop.

- This'll blunt the shock of my big news.

Here.

- Chop.

- His name isn't Moore.

Nobody ever heard of Moore.

But who hasn't heard of Scott Moorehouse,

owner of Islanders I, II, and III?

A wreck of a different color.

You haven't, my pet.

But then you never heard of radio either.

You've struck a gold mine.

A worked out gold mine.

- I don't like you.

- Your "Marine" is as balmy as they come.

I knew it.

He's as mad as a hatter.

Mad with guilt.

Mad with remorse.

Mad about you.

And there's where you have to hand it to him.

You lovely primitive.

You belle Ia belle.

Watch it please.

- Up.

Chop chop chop.

Chop chop.

Moorehouse?

Now I'm experienced too.

I have kissed with two tourists.

- Come?

How was it?

- Like to kiss Urbano.

I practice myself for my wedding cup.

Is like to drink water.

- It's a little nautical for my taste.

I wish I'd found your scrapbook instead.

I said I didn't care what you were.

But of all the things that entered my head, wow.

Why anything Axel Jensen's got you've got more of.

Money, girls, troubles.

Scott Moorehouse.

The original playboy of the Western world.

- You go tell Wally to launch

that boat tomorrow come hell or high water.

- Right.

I'll just collect our debris.

How the newspapers loved you.

It was an Iowa school teacher

that you for wasn't it?

And all those rhinoceri and women.

Bagged on safaris into Africa and Mayfair.

Even in the war.

Weren't you always parachuting onto

exotic isles and taking them single-handed?

- No, I came in with the medics

to help patch up the heroes.

- Dr. Moorehouse?

Oh but don't be so modest.

I saw a medal.

- For accidentally bumping into

an enemy patrol on New Guinea.

I also got hook worms out of that scuffle.

- And a wife too I seem to recall.

The daughter of the missionary who hid you saved your life.

- You do read the newspapers don't you?

- Uh-huh, I do.

But they didn't tell me everything.

They didn't say a thing about the medics

or whether or not you practiced medicine.

Whether your wife was-

- You'll forgive me if I don't fill you in on my courtship.

Let's see, did I practice?

No, because I never interned.

I was too busy showing

the missionary's daughter the big fat world.

- Elsa Moorehouse.

Papers loved her too.

She liked the world?

- Not right off.

All the sight and sounds confused her.

Even the sound of money.

If you can believe that.

- Okay.

Sorry I asked.

- But you did.

Where she came from two and two made four.

Two is company, three was a crowd.

Simple equations.

But I taught her a higher mathematics.

That though two was company, three was a ball.

And what money could buy.

Anybody.

Until finally you couldn't tell her apart

from any of Wally's four wives say.

Or you.

- This ends three years ago.

You and Elsa sailed the Islander out of Portofino.

Just the two of you.

And then there was nothing.

- It ends there because I killed her.

- No, that isn't what the new...

There was a storm.

- And I was drunk!

The inquiry slapped my wrist and let me off,

but whether she was washed overboard

or fell or jumped I caused it.

- Three years is a long time.

Nothing has helped.

Desert island, going on the wagon,

or even changing names.

- It wasn't names, it was lives!

- Lives.

Lives.

The world or an island.

You're gonna shape it to fit.

And now you've found a new innocent.

And already you're teaching her higher mathematics.

Tell me something, Moore.

How many triangles can you squeeze out

of a total population of six?

Tell me!

What's changed, Moore?

Besides the scenery and your name.

- Where's your good conduct medal?

Beat it.

Go on, beat it!

- At least give me one straight answer.

Did I name a psycho on site or didn't I?

- Let's agree he's a real strange guy.

- Now don't hedge, Laura.

- I'm here, Wally.

Majorca bound.

- I'm not referring to how he got rid of his wife.

It was cheaper than divorce.

I'm talking about how he got rid of his money.

- What are you talking about?

- He gave away all his money.

All his money.

All for a mad fancy that would

save his marriage or his wife.

The immovable object.

She wanted to keep the money, sensible girl.

- How do you know so much about it?

- He admitted at the inquiry

that they'd been quarreling about it for days.

It wasn't just a giveaway.

It's what he gave it to.

It's how he gave it.

Laura, she's moving!

Here!

- If I launched her, when I launched her!

Well you joker, she's launched!

Where are they?

- Wally.

-Hmm?

- What?

- Huh?

- What did Moore give his money to?

- Oh who cares.

We've done it, Laura!

- Wally, what did he give his money to?

- Some wide-eyed medical handout.

- Tell me.

- He set up this system of free clinics in the south.

Carolinas are in the south aren't they?

Yep.

He dumped it all back in the same blighted hills

old Sulfur Moorehouse sweated it out of.

And it wasn't even a tax dodge.

You're quite a gal, you know?

No lightweight little cruise companion.

My mistake.

You're a difficult, but rewarding woman.

These last few days of working side by side with you

have helped me make up my mind about something.

- This will keep won't it, Wally?

- Sure.

I just wanna brace you against any marriage proposals

that come your way between here and the mainland.

- I'll be ready with a one syllable answer.

- Attagirl!

If I do say so myself, I'm a better catch than Moore.

I hang onto my money.

- The answer will be no.

- I don't think you understood me.

- Just drop me any place where I can buy a ticket home.

- You're not by any chance...

Yes you are.

You're running back to Billy boy.

- Billy?

Bill.

No, I'm not going back to Bill.

I'm just going back.

If I ever run into another man-sized man,

I hope I'm wearing my good conduct medal.

- Oh now I know why you came stomping back last night.

You made your play for Moore and he chose Costanza.

- Costanza.

- Wally.

Look.

- What do you know.

- Put me ashore.

- Aye aye, sir.

- No Wally, you don't understand.

I took Moore's gun.

- Well how'd you get so clever?

- Wally.

- Yeah?

- Turn back.

- Huh?

- I'm gonna return this, Wally.

- Now that you proved you don't know me at all

go back to the cabin.

- Gavino will kill him, Wally.

- Go below.

Laura!

Come back here!

I'm warnig you!

Come back!

You...

Aw you can rot here!

Both of you!

He's as good as dead already!

- I wish he'd phone first.

Did you forget your gloves?

- I took your gun.

You're drunk.

- Wait, wait!

I'm your friend, amico!

Moore's gun, see?

For you!

- I thought you'd tried to stop us.

- How am I gonna miss him without my gun?

- You're not gonna fight bullets with that.

- Betrayer of Moore.

Thief of his gun.

You are nothing.

- All right, I'm nothing.

But he's something.

Do you know that he's a doctor?

Urbano please.

Costanza this doesn't have to happen.

You could...

- Room and board for Mr. Wallace Drucker

and his house guest.

- On the house.

- Oh no.

Your signature under mine.

- Sure.

Settle up for cash and go get yourself killed.

That'll solve all your problems.

- Aw shut up.

Don't talk, fight!

- Here.

Take it.

Take it!

Look.

The rock beach.

You leave the boat.

You leave it there, huh?

I look for Moore.

If I see Moore, I signal.

Comprende?

- Comprendo.

- As far as you go.

- Are you afraid to die?

- No.

- If I let it to happen that Gavino kidnaps me.

You will be saved.

- I wish it were that simple.

- But you never truly mean to kill Gavino any time, no?

- Never had to.

- But you never try the way he try to kill you.

- Costanza, you ask...

You seriously want me to kill Gavino?

- I only tell you, Morino.

From out his love for me he tried to kill you.

If new you played war and love, you will die.

- I know.

Go now, puchina.

- I go, amore.

- Urbano, if it's really a matter of life and death

then why shouldn't he escape?

None of this is for real!

- It's real.

He stays to defend his honors.

- Honors?

What honors?

- What Gavino wants he fight for.

And Moore, after placing value

on what he's found here, won't run.

Each man defends his honors.

- But what good is it if he dies defending it?

- What good to live without it?

He won't hurt you.

He's looking for bullets.

- Urbano.

Ask him where he comes from,

is it called sport to shoot at sitting ducks?

- I knew you'd come crawling back.

- Thank you for waiting.

- Think nothing of it.

Think I'd missed the finish of the show?

After what you two put me through?

- May I come aboard now please, Captain Bligh?

Wally.

You don't really intend using that gun do you?

Please put it down and let's talk

like reasonable human beings.

About us if you want to.

- Laura, stop wasting your breath will you?

- Wally this is so insane.

I can't really believe it's happening.

If you did kill him there would be a trial and you know-

- I know there isn't a jury on Earth

that wouldn't acquit me.

Don't forget, Moorehouse is suspected of killing his wife.

- He's going for the fishing ledge, a trap!

Gavino's trapped him!

Gavino!

- Be sure you kill the right man!

For the right woman!

- Grazie.

Well I see you returned Moore's gun.

- Yeah, and I never bucked the odds.

Let's get out of here.

- Why not.

- Go to her.

Gavino will lend you his boat.

- This time you can't stop her huh?

How you didn't break your neck taking down signals.

- Signals?

The nightgowns.

- The nightgowns.

Water in the cylinders.

Stolen wire, cut wire.

- Amico, you needed time.

Now you know what you are.

You are free to go or stay.

Even to drink a little pinch bottle when the sun sets.

Vaya con dios.

- Grazie.

- Adieu, Morino.

- He's not getting on this boat!

You asked for it.

I'm fighting for my life.

That madman hates me.

Keep off!

I can't load this thing!

- Here we go.

- Where doctor?

- Well it's a long way, but why don't we

chart a course for North Carolina.

Take hold and steer.

- North Carolina ahoy.

Fighting for our honors every inch of the way.