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1
00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:05,505
? Who's the improbable duo
That you heard about? ?
2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:09,217
? Faster than a scooter
Stronger than metal ?
3
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:12,220
? Who's the little girl
And her domesticated rodent? ?
4
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:15,640
? Who's still standing
When you see the dust settle??
5
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,184
? It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster ?
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,769
? Hamster and Gretel ?
7
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,605
? If they can't do it
Then nobody can ?
8
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:25,358
? Hamster, Hamster, Hamster ?
9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,817
? Hamster and Gretel ?
10
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,737
? There's also Kevin
In the minivan ?
11
00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:33,282
MS. JAMANPOUR:
All right, class.
12
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,201
Today, you'll be
picking the subjects
13
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,828
for your
"Who is your hero?" reports.
14
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:42,458
For example, My hero is the inventor
of the heated ice cream scoop.
15
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:47,046
Not because of his invention, but because
he saved me from a wild boar when I was nine.
16
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,673
Dibs on
Superhero Gretel.
17
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,301
Oh, grateful for your energy
this morning, Bailey.
18
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:54,178
But since you've already
written about superhero Gretel
19
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,973
16 times this year,
20
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,955
you'll need
a different subject.
21
00:00:58,642 --> 00:00:59,692
Yes, Gretel?
22
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,687
Then, can I do
superhero Gretel for my hero report?
23
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,188
Sure.
24
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,732
Gretel. What are you doing?
25
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:09,277
You can't do your hero report
on yourself. Can you?
26
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,444
Sure I can.
27
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,955
They don't know
it's about me.
28
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,740
This is going to be
an easy "A".
29
00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:17,660
A report on yourself?
Due tomorrow?
30
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,454
Aren't you late for loitering
at the mall with Anthony and Fred?
31
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,207
No, that's tomorrow night.
32
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,542
Tonight we're going
to the Kazoo Festival.
33
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,461
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Kazoo... Smaller
than a cello cooler than a triangle.
34
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,171
It's the Kazoo Festival.
35
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,549
It's festive.
Listen to our kazoo app today.
36
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,426
(PLAYING KAZOO)
37
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,219
Ooh, can I come?
38
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,638
No. You have a report to do,
and you haven't even started it yet.
39
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,098
Don't sweat it, big bro.
40
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,684
I've got all the material
I need right here.
41
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:42,977
I can just interview myself.
42
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,854
(KEVIN SWITCHES OFF TV)
Hey.
43
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,772
Really, Kev,
I was dominating.
44
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,399
You need to get serious
about this, Gretel.
45
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,900
You've gotta cite sources.
46
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,694
And your brain
is not a source.
47
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,113
Ugh, who needs sources?
48
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,345
You do. If you want
a passing grade
49
00:01:55,346 --> 00:01:58,284
But I wanted to come to the
park and hear you play that fake instrument.
50
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,202
It's a kazoo.
It's a real instrument.
51
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,253
And no, you did not.
52
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,457
I don't know, Kevin.
I'm not really a library...
53
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,209
(GRETEL SCREAMS)
Shh!
54
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,461
See? Told ya,
55
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,755
I'm too loud.
56
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:13,633
(WHISPERING) Oh! Sorry.
We were just trying to... (GASPS) Okay.
57
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,684
That was weird.
58
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,094
Shh!
59
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,809
Actually, Kevin,
that was weird.
60
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,685
We should
probably investigate.
61
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,395
No, we shouldn't.
62
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,226
She's just a creepy librarian,
and we need to get to work.
63
00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:31,942
"So, superhero Gretel,
what do you think of your bossy brother?"
64
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,319
"Well, Gretel..."
65
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,528
Your brain is not a source.
66
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,031
(MUSIC PLAYING)
67
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,911
Welcome
to the periodical room.
68
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,242
No electronics allowed.
69
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,328
I hate it already.
70
00:02:42,274 --> 00:02:46,957
Only print media, perfect
for citing sources.
71
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,348
I'll be close
if you need me.
72
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,379
Hamster, you keep her on task.
I'm gonna go browse.
73
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,714
But what if some
supervillain attacks?
74
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,549
It's a library.
75
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:59,040
I'm sure I can handle anything
that comes up, except maybe Hemingway.
76
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,890
We get it. Ernest.
There's an old man and a sea.
77
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,534
You'll get that joke
in high school.
78
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,602
HAMSTER: We get it.
It's just not funny.
79
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,022
(CREEPY MUSIC)
80
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,406
(WHISPERING) Wow.
81
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:18,427
(WHISPERING) I don't remember
the library being this creepy,
82
00:03:18,428 --> 00:03:21,158
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Ooh,
but they've gone too far this time.
83
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,286
This Kazoo Festival
is a travesty.
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,539
A noise crime.
A breach of the peace.
85
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,458
And I should know.
86
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,586
I was raised
by an opera singer and a foley artist.
87
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,965
Noise, noise, all day,
every day.
88
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,884
The library
was my only refuge,
89
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,929
and I found my calling,
90
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,473
telling people to shush
all day long.
91
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,059
But now,
my shush isn't enough.
92
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,062
So I need a more
permanent solution.
93
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,232
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Um, so, to be clear, Miss,
94
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,694
you need to reschedule
your teeth cleaning?
95
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,988
Oh yes, tomorrow afternoon
at 3:30.
96
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,559
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Oh, okay, we...
97
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,785
Well, time to do
some hard-hitting research.
98
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,538
Ooh, a personality quiz.
99
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,563
"Are you a boss girl Gretel
or a hype beast Hamster?"
100
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,004
"Take this quiz to find out."
101
00:04:11,005 --> 00:04:12,626
I don't know about
hype beasts,
102
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,086
but I'm pretty sure
I'm the hamster.
103
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,172
Oh! Here we are,
saving the city
104
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,758
from a killer dung beetle
by tangling it in a kite.
105
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,384
That was clever
of us.
106
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,095
That was Kevin's idea, actually.
107
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,584
Yeah, maybe I'll leave
that part out of the report.
108
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,768
Now I've saved enough
to buy this shush-inator,
109
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:32,355
soon, the whole world will be
as quiet as my library.
110
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:34,532
I better get Gretel.
111
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,317
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
112
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:39,279
Oh! (GROANS)
113
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,740
(HISSES) Oh! It's you.
114
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,034
The loud boy from earlier.
115
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,454
You'll make them
perfect guinea pig.
116
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:51,207
No, wait! no!
117
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,793
Your voice is mine now,
118
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,711
and the more voices I collect,
119
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,840
the more powerful
my Shush-inator becomes.
120
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:02,384
Today, this town
and its Kazoo festival.
121
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:07,057
Tomorrow, the world!
Right after my dental cleaning at 3:30.
122
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,726
(OMNIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
123
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,073
Where do you think
you're going, boy?
124
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:19,069
Did I mention it's got a sonic
blast setting, too.
125
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,614
Peek- a-boo.
126
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,242
Please don't run
in the library.
127
00:05:31,845 --> 00:05:35,626
Here's one
about that time we defeated
128
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,670
that giant
mutant burrito
129
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,181
with a truckload
of hot sauce.
130
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,757
Ooh! I remember that
we are so smart.
131
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,592
Actually,
that was Kevin's idea, too.
132
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,095
Your idea
was just to eat it.
133
00:05:45,096 --> 00:05:47,680
It would've worked
if we hadn't just had lunch.
134
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:51,059
(KAZOO MUSIC PLAYING)
135
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,689
From kazoo to boo hoo.
136
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:58,440
Actually,
they can't boo hoo
137
00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,692
since they won't have voices,
138
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,987
so it'll be more like
muffled sobs?
139
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,579
Ugh, I don't know.
140
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,869
(KAZOO PLAYING)
141
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,621
How could it actually
be worse than I thought it was gonna be?
142
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,165
This town... (GASPS)
143
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,044
(CRACKLING)
144
00:06:28,281 --> 00:06:32,391
This Shush-inator
was definitely worth
145
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,603
six easy payments of 19.99.
146
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,920
Ever feel like shushing
the entire tri-state area?
147
00:06:37,921 --> 00:06:41,650
Try the new Shush-inator
from Doofensmirtz Evil Incorporated.
148
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,735
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Six easy payments.
149
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,820
Oh, shush!
150
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,073
Now to shush the people
in this town for good.
151
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:54,038
I Mayor Murray Meyer,
have an emergency announcement.
152
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,089
I am... (GASPS)
153
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,835
(VOCALIZING)
154
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,172
Whatever you do,
do not cut the... (GASPS)
155
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,015
Don't cut the what?
The What?
156
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:08,302
LIBRARIAN:
? If you like to party and make lots of noise ?
157
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:11,765
? Gathering together the girls
and the boys ?
158
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:16,310
? I guess I should warn you
it's one of my joys ?
159
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,814
? To hush you and shush you
and silence your voice ?
160
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:24,151
? It might did not make you
happy, might ruin your day ?
161
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:28,280
? But I love the quiet,
It's there I must stay ?
162
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,993
? Books on my treasure
and reading's my job ?
163
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,203
? And thinking's required ?
164
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,538
? So shut your big gob ?
165
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:43,546
? Listen to me
You don't need to verbalize ?
166
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:48,300
? You know, silence is golden,
but my peace has been stolen ?
167
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,887
? From now on,
you'll speak with your eyes ?
168
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:55,058
? Give me your voice ?
169
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:59,478
? That's what I'm after ?
170
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,731
? I'll take your chitter,
your chatter ?
171
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,109
? It does not matter ?
172
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:07,403
? The noise ?
173
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:11,157
? Give me your voice ?
174
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:15,077
? Be silent forever ?
175
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,871
? I'll have no remorse ?
176
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,040
? When this world is hoarse ?
177
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:23,627
? My life will be better ?
178
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:28,133
? Give me your voice ?
179
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:30,844
It's so quiet.
180
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,221
Not a sound.
181
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,692
Seriously, this is the most
fun I've had all year.
182
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,976
No. What is that
infernal racket?
183
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,228
(KAZOO PLAYING)
184
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,189
Hey. That cart
is library property.
185
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:48,194
(KAZOOS PLAYING)
186
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,737
You haven't outsmarted me.
187
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,118
(SHUSHINATOR POWERING UP)
188
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,331
Get back here!
189
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:10,884
(GROANS) I hate Kazoos.
190
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,018
You're done for, boy.
191
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:35,115
That's not good. Rooftop.
192
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,242
What a relief!
193
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,662
Now,
my emergency announcement.
194
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,624
I am neither a cat person
nor a dog person.
195
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,435
REPORTER:
What about turkey, sir?
196
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,753
(GASPS)
197
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,136
(VOCALIZING)
198
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,721
(GASPS)
199
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,800
Do not cut the blue wire.
200
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,635
My egg timer is fixed.
201
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,553
Thanks, honey.
See you at dinner.
202
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,424
Please don't call me
at work anymore.
203
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,892
(PEOPLE BREATHING DEEPLY)
204
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,605
(PLAYING KAZOO)
205
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,649
Oh, good, everyone got
their voices back.
206
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,568
Want to go loiter
at the mall?
207
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,157
Well, we were saving
that for tomorrow, but you only live once.
208
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,449
(GRUNTS)
209
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,325
It. It, it worked!
210
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,495
(GROANS)
211
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:24,582
What? My Shush-inator!
It's ruined.
212
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,125
You'll pay for this.
213
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,335
(SCREAMS)
214
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,380
Hey, keep it down.
This is a library.
215
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,343
And this
is a super loud librarian punch.
216
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,637
And just like that
Hamster and Gretel
217
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,974
and nobody else saved the day.
218
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:43,976
So you get everything
you need for your hero report?
219
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,060
Thanks to you.
220
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,111
I think I did.
221
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,606
What is a hero?
222
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:51,525
A hero is someone
you can count on every single time.
223
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,026
Someone like
my big brother Kevin.
224
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,195
(BAILEY GASPS)
225
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:55,696
GRETEL:
He's got great ideas
226
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,327
and always does
the right thing.
227
00:10:57,328 --> 00:11:00,701
Because that's what heroes do,
even if they don't get the credit.
228
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:01,786
(CHILDREN CLAPPING)
229
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,622
That's a lovely sentiment, Gretel.
230
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,792
But "Older Brother Kevin"
wasn't one of our approved subjects,
231
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,128
and you've got
literally zero sources,
232
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,422
so you'll be getting a C.
233
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,717
Fair enough.
He's still my hero.
234
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:20,317
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