Original subtitles

(WHIRRING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

BIG BROTHER: Hello Australia.

Did you miss me?

Are you ready for the spiciest Big Brother ever?

(CHAMPAGNE POURED INTO GLASS)

My house is about to be filled with the sexiest singles in Australia.

What could possibly go wrong?

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(HOUSEMATE SCREAMS)

(HOUSEMATES YELL)

In a game of love and money...

Who wins...

..you decide.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Australia, welcome to Big Brother 2023!

(CHEERING)

Who wants to meet our first housemates?

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Please welcome Dion and Annelise.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Come on! Yeah!

Give me some!

Oh yeah!

I am bougie.

Bougie is a lifestyle.

Biggest turn on would be manners.

Pulling out a chair for a girl,

opening the door for a girl.

I don't think it's bad to have such high standards for myself.

You're the very first housemates for 2023!

Wow! Amazing!

Annelise. I mean... Hi.

You're looking gorgeous.

Thank you. Likewise. Thank you.

If you were looking to meet someone, what would be your type?

Tall, dark, handsome. I love a bit of humour.

Probably funny.

(ANNELISE GIGGLES)

Right. Dion is tall, dark and handsome.

Is he not?

I'm taller right now.

(SONIA AND HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

I missed, I missed the memo.

I know. She's got her heels, she's got her heels.

Now Dion you seem like a really

chill kind of laid back sort of... (DION LAUGHS)

There's no off switch unfortunately,

so I don't know if Big Brother's ready.

I don't know if Australia's ready. I don't think he is.

This is a cyclone. Let's go, baby! (CROWD CHEERS)

I'm loud, I'm unfiltered, I'm in your face.

It's a lot but it's fun.

I like to cause a little bit of drama.

I can cook up more lies than Gordon Ramsey cooks meals.

If someone barks at me, I like to bark back.

I'm a dog.

But I've got a soft place inside, I come from a good place.

My mama raised me well.

(CROWD CHEERS)

Before you head inside, I have a little bit of news for you.

Big Brother's game starts

right here, right now.

You may have noticed over here that there are two doors.

One is the entrance to Big Brother's house,

the other leads to,

well, not Big Brother's house.

The deal is that you cannot both go through the same door.

The door you choose determines

how your Big Brother adventure will begin.

(TENSE MUSIC)

I've got the easiest way to make

this decision though, but if you're up for it.

But I know what I want. You know what you want already?

I want to go right. Can we do this?

OK. 'Cause I want right.

Can we rock, paper, scissors this one time?

No.

You've got thirty seconds to decide. Go.

The winner, winner gets right. OK, OK.

On the shoot. Ready? OK. Ready?

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Dammit!

I got the right door.

(CROWD APPLAUDS) Thank you.

Or you're a gentleman... Oh, you pulled it on me.

Dion gets the right door.

I see. I'll remember that.

(ANNELISE GIGGLES) OK. Dion -

All the best. Remember -

Yeah, I'll remember that. You're going through the right.

Annelise, you're going through the left.

Yeah. Good luck.

Thank you so much!

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Let's go through!

See you on the other side. I'll see you on the other side.

OK.

Woo!

Damn!

That's pretty. That's pretty.

Mm. It's my walkway baby.

It's my walkway baby. This is my town.

Mm. Wooo!

Dream kitchen.

Hey baby, what you want? Is that right?

Oh shit! Ritzy! Woo!

I got a pool.

Damn. There's some funky stuff

gonna go on here baby.

Yeah, for sure.

A weight set, that's wet. That's 'Rocky' bro.

(DION SHADOW BOXES)

Woohoohoo!

Pah! Pah! Pah!

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Show me the money.

(DION GASPS)

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

BIG BROTHER: Hello Dion.

Woo-hoo!

Damn, it's nice to meet you bruv.

Welcome to my house.

This is my house.

Pardon?

(DION LAUGHS)

OK let me explain it to you real quick.

Anywhere I go, I'm the alpha.

I'm the dog.

(DION GROWLS)

So, we're gonna have to figure out

who runs the joint here, you know what I mean?

Dion... (DION LAUGHS)

Let me be clear. In my house, you are merely a pup.

(DION YELPS)

Something's that's all bark and no bite.

We'll see.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

(DOOR SLIDES OPEN)

(ANNELISE LAUGHS IN DISBELIEF)

Oh, you're kidding.

(ANNELISE CHUCKLES)

Do I just sit down?

(TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT TONE)

This is your conductor Big Brother speaking.

(ANNELISE LAUGHS)

Choosing the left door means you are

now aboard the Big Brother Express.

Express.

But, don't be fooled.

Oh no.

There's nothing express about this ride.

Oh no.

We will await more passengers before our departure.

Please remain seated.

How did I get the left door? This is crazy.

I literally said right.

(ANNELISE SIGHS, ANNOYED) Gosh Dion.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

SONIA: Let's bring out our next couple.

Please welcome Taylah and Josh.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

JOSH: When people see me,

they think I've come

from a silver spoon in the city

but I'm definitely a country boy at heart.

Think I'm a bit of an old soul.

When I date, I only date one person at a time.

I'd love to maybe fine the one.

Hello! Look! Look at you! Hi Josh!

How are you?

I'm good, I'm good.

How does it feel to be standing here right now?

I'm about to wet my pants I'm that excited.

Yeah. Mixed emotions, yeah. (EVERYONE LAUGHS)

How would your friends describe you?

They would describe me as if Kim Kardashian

and Russell Coight,

if they had a love child, that would be me.

(CROWD LAUGHS)

And you've got a very unique resume.

Yeah so I'm a sheep farmer and a TikToker.

(CROWD CHEERS) Oh my god.

I'm from Bendigo, Victoria.

I'm a single mum and I'm a farmer.

I would like to think that I'm the bougiest farmer there is.

People have called me a MILF before and I could hear it -

All day, every day.

Can't you tell I'm a sheep farmer?

Thought it was obvious.

You look surprised Josh.

Well my, my old girl's a sheep farmer.

Who are you talking about? My mother.

Your mum. They say you marry your mother.

Yeah, yeah. (TAYLAH LAUGHS)

Oh! (CROWD CHEERS)

I don't know about you guys

but I think these two look pretty good together.

(CROWD CHEERS)

Well, even though, you know, you could be a perfect match,

you will both enter the game through one of two doors.

Each door will take you to a different place

and you can't both go through the same door.

So I'm going to give you thirty seconds

to decide amongst yourselves

which door you're gonna go through.

(CROWD YELL OUT SUGGESTIONS)

I'll let you choose. Left.

I'll let you choose.

You go left, I'll go right. Left.

Left door for Taylah. Left door.

Which means Josh you are going through the right door.

Right door. Yeah. I wish you the best.

Thank you!

(CROWD CHEERS)

Oh my god. Is that a step?

Bye Josh.

Bye guys! See ya.

(LIGHTS FLICKER)

DION: What's up man? What's going on mate?

What's up brother?

Wow! Damn you're big, huh! Good. Oh, look at you, mate.

What up brother? Look at you mate.

That back. Where are you from anyway?

Melbourne. Melbs?

Yeah. Yeah nice, nice.

You? I'm from Perth.

You're a stripper for sure.

Nah, no way. No way. Are you?

Nah bro, no way!

We've got the matching outfit, though.

We have white shoes, white shirt, you know what to do.

Yeah. Oh, you wore it better.

(TRAIN WHISTLE AND BELL SOUNDS)

Oh my god.

Hi!

Hello!

How you going?

Hey, this is where we are.

What the heck? Did I pick the wrong door?

Yeah you did.

I'm Taylah, nice to meet you. Hi. Annelise. Nice to meet you.

It's so nice to actually meet someone.

Literally. We picked the wrong door.

Yeah we did, and I literally said I would like

the right door and the guy I was with said no, I want the right door.

(DION LAUGHS)

You're a pig.

Let's meet our next housemates, say hello to Minee and Jake.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

JAKE: I'm definitely a gentlemen. Mum taught me real well.

I don't think there's a girl in the house

that will be able to resist my charm.

Am I intelligent? Definitely not.

If all else fails, the shirt's coming off.

(CROWD CHEERS)

MINEE: I've been modelling

since I was sixteen years old.

I definitely use

my physical appearance

to get what I want.

If that doesn't work -

I try on my charm.

(MINEE LAUGHS)

(CROWD CHEERS)

Oh! Look at these two specimens in front of me!

(CROWD CHEERS)

Oh my god, she, she's gorgeous. She's beautiful.

(MINEE LAUGHS) You think?

She, yeah, she's beautiful. Thank you!

Uh huh. You're not too bad yourself.

Thank you. Yeah.

It is very hard to believe that you are single.

Yeah. I think honestly I just want to be single.

Like, wanted to be single for a little bit.

(CROWD CHEERS) I- yeah. Been so much fun.

Just needed to learn about myself

for once and, yeah, look out for myself and only me I guess.

Are you hoping though that there might be love on the horizon?

Yes. Well I hope so. That would be great.

Well. (CLEARS THROAT) Time for things to get real.

Decide amongst yourselves

which door you're going to go through.

Do you want to go right then? Yes, why not?

Alright. Done deal. Alright.

(CROWD CHEERS) Let's go.

Thank you. Thank you. I can't believe this.

And I'll see you guys soon!

No that door. Oh, oh, left.

Bye!

Thank you. You know what he called me?

He called me a pup.

(JOSH LAUGHS)

(MINEE LAUGHS)

What's going on? Hello. How are you?

Hello! You made it.

I did make it. (MINEE LAUGHS)

We're all in white.

Oh my gosh.

So I'm the lucky first girl.

Yeah, right. Well, welcome.

It's a pleasure to have you. Thank you.

You look lovely. Oh my gosh.

It's Minee, nice to meet you. Josh.

Sorry I didn't get your first name.

Josh and... I'm (STAMMERS) Minee. Ma... Minee. Minee.

Nice to meet you. Dion.

Dion and Josh. Josh.

Have you seen, like, the other girls? Are they gorgeous?

No. So I saw one girl in a beautiful yellow dress.

Jaw line, fleek, eyebrows, fleek -

I'm so excited. Wing, fleek.

I just want to meet the girls. Mine was a doll aye, she was unreal.

She was really pretty, yeah. Oh, far out.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Hi!

JOSH: Oh my god!

Guys, this is awesome. TAYLAH: Come in.

Nice to meet you. I'm Taylah.

Taylah. I'm Jake.

Annelise. Hello.

You picked the wrong door.

Who'd you come in with?

I came here with another blonde girl.

Really pretty.

Did you let her choose the door?

Yeah, so...

I got stitched up with my guy. Ah...

To be honest, I reckon this is cool. This is awesome.

Yeah I'm thinking... They're missing out.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Australia, put your hands together for our next three couples.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

Zach and AnnaSophia!

Quan and Luke!

And Graciemae and Louis!

Head on in.

See ya.

Are you OK?

Hi! Oh hi!

Oh my gosh, you guys look amazing!

You look amazing - Look at you!

Look at this pop of colour, I love it!

I'm Dion, it's nice to meet you. Graciemae.

(BRITISH ACCENT) Oh yeah. I could get used to this.

I think so. Oh!

(GRACIEMAE GASPS)

(BRITISH ACCENT) Oh! It's a little gym.

(NORMAL VOICE) Won't be using that much.

Big Brother has one final pairing for us

and this one's a little unusual because this pair

comes as a three pack.

Get out here Lewis and our sisters Tay and Ari.

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

TAY: Big Brother's never had sisters like us before.

ARI: We honestly do everything together.

We're like besties.

We do Instagram and TikTok.

Our biggest one has 18.3 million views.

We're coming in as one housemate -

We're coming in as double trouble. We're coming in hot!

(TAY CHUCKLES) It's a new game now.

Hi! Oh my goodness!

Tay, Ari and Lewis, welcome.

BOTH: Thank you. Thank you.

Are you guys twins?

No, sisters and besties. No, we're sisters... and besties.

Sisters and besties.

I feel like we're in for some double trouble.

Oh, hundred percent. Oh, I think so. Yeah.

You will be playing as one housemate.

Yes, we will be actually. Yes, we will be.

Oooh. OK.

And how do you feel about that?

We're excited. Super pumped.

We're basically one human anyway. We're basically one human anyway.

So it's no difference for us.

OK.

Not only will you play together but you'll also vote together.

Yes. You will nominate together -

And you will enter and exit together.

This could be fun. This is better, for sure.

This could be really fun. Yeah.

But before you hit the house,

you must decide which of these two doors

you would like to walk through.

I'm happy for you girls to decide.

Decide? Yeah.

We might go right. Right?

We're gonna go right door.

Right door? Go you guys. You can head on in there.

Best of luck to you. Thank you.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

LEWIS: Hope I go into the house.

Bye! Bye.

(TAY LAUGHS) Oh my god.

(DION LAUGHS) Wow! Double trouble! Are you twins?

No, sisters. We're sisters.

Oh my god, how are you?

Hey.

What's going on? Smell good. How are you?

Hi! Hi!

(EXCITED CHATTER)

Ariana? Dion. It's nice to meet you.

Hey. What's your name? How are you?

I'm Taylor, nice to meet you. Taylor, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. ZACH: How are you?

Taylor, nice to meet you. You look stunning.

Hey. How are you? What's your name? Ariana.

Ariana, nice to meet you.

JOSH: Wow, the sisters, they're beautiful looking girls.

You guys look stunning by the way. Grab a drink.

Oh my god, is there drinks? Yeah, there's drinks here.

Mate, you've done well.

How cool is this place? It's sick.

BIG BROTHER: Perhaps I could be your wingman Josh.

Well I think that's a good deal.

Hundred percent.

Do you guys have, like,

little weird things where like, you know, one day someone's,

like, feeling hella upset and the other one's like I can feel it?

Um... Kind of.

Kind of I guess. But I feel like we're never upset.

Have you ever had any weird stories like that?

No we don't really, have we?

No but they're just sisters, they're not twins.

Oh are you guys not twins?

No, no, we're not twins.

Oh sorry, I thought you guys were twins.

DION: The way they just shook their heads together.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

No... no they look so alike.

I thought that they were twins. Do you know what,

everyone always thinks that and we do the same things

like all the time.

I feel like we were meant to be twins.

Yeah. Yeah.

The dresses kind of like...

ARI: No but we've got twin energy for sure.

DION: What a cute little family!

MINEE: We are an adorable family.

Here's to us on Big Brother, guys.

Let me get a glass somewhere.

WOMAN: Wooo! Here's to us, guys.

(HOUSEMATES CHEERS) Good looking peeps.

ZACH: Wonder what the others are doing.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

LEWIS: Ah, it's, it's warm.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Uh oh.

JAKE: Something's happening, man.

Uh oh. ANNELISE: Air con, Big Brother?

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM AND CHEER) Oh my god.

Dude this is like the Polar Express.

(TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT TONE)

(ANNASOPHIA SQUEALS)

BIG BROTHER: This is your conductor Big Brother.

No way!

You are now on the scenic route to the Big Brother house.

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

Oh my god. This is epic!

(HOUSEMATES SCREAM)

It's a rickety old train so the ride is going to be bumpy.

Oh my god.

Estimated travel time...

Oh, it's blankets.

Is twenty-four hours.

(HOUSEMATES GROAN)

WOMAN: We're sleeping here.

Next stop, the Big Brother house.

This is going to be a long journey.

Help yourself to some wine and cheese.

Oh!

ANNELISE: That's first class.

LOUIS: Let's go.

LEWIS: Come on. JAKE: How good.

Stunning. Chardonnay.

JAKE: Thank you very much.

ANNELISE: Here you go, there's your cheese and crackers.

MAN: Thanks so much. No worries.

(TRAIN JOLTS) (HOUSEMATES SCREAM)

ANNELISE: (BLEEP) Red wine!

JAKE: No way!

Hold your glasses.

ANNELISE: Red wine stains.

WOMAN: That's (BLEEP).

Oh. My. God.

Coming up...

(TRAIN SHAKES)

The train's in trouble.

(TRAIN STEAMS)

I can't believe this.

But steamy secrets...

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

Could be the answer.

JOSH: She had a friend with her.

She wanted to go back to their place

and get steamy.

BIG BROTHER: So, you went back and played board games?

If there's whips involved in board games...

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

And later, two housemates

share the very first kiss.

In Big Brother's new house, the single housemates

who chose the right door are soaking up the luxury

of their new digs.

TAY: How sick is the place? QUAN: I know.

DION: Have you come outside? Have you seen outside?

No we haven't yet. Show us around, it looks so cool.

It's actually super cute,

my cutest bit is this section here

because the walls of the jacuzzi is like a vibe.

MINEE: The jacuzzi, I can't wait to go in.

Oh yeah, hundred percent. That's it.

The colour's bomb. ARI: Oh, that's it.

But the other half chose the wrong door

and ended up on the Big Brother Express,

taking the scenic route to the house.

ANNELISE: I said, OK I was like I know what I want

and I would like right door

and he said well I want right door so rock, paper, scissors

and I was like, OK, so we did it,

he won and I said be a gentleman,

I want the right door and he goes nope,

I'm going right and I was like...

but I didn't actually care

until I heard all your guys were gentlemen.

(TAYLAH LAUGHS)

But please, please make your own decision on Dion, please. Please.

MINEE: That's my theory,

I think that they're literally stuck in somewhere,

just a blind little room with a toilet.

Well as in...

Like, because this is the house so where else would they be?

No I think there's another house.

They can't afford, who can afford that?

Oh my god. (MINEE LAUGHS)

The poor... the poor thing!

I think he might have gone down the wrong door.

Hopefully it's not a little cardboard box with a toilet in it.

Because that would be really sad.

Can't believe this.

I hope he can -

Come in here soon. Yeah.

(MINEE LAUGHS)

Am I going the right way?

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Taking a shower guys.

(DING!)

So... I'm off.

DION: Um, it's alright for us to go to bed,

you're gonna need like an hour sweetheart.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

ARI: She's going to be wasting all the hot water.

JOSH: I reckon we should save some water,

me and you go in the same one.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

BIG BROTHER: Talk to me about Josh.

Josh is really cute, I'm not gonna lie.

Seems like a good personality, down to earth. He's definitely -

Like physically very attractive,

like he's got really nice eyes and like nice skin.

Tall glass of water?

Mmm.

(TAY LAUGHS)

You'd take a sip from that cup?

Oh I definitely would.

JOSH: Oh my god.

ZACH: She's keen on you I reckon.

Yeah, she is. She is a hundred percent.

Yeah. She's fit.

(TAY AND DION LAUGH)

Sick. Absolute vibes.

Housemates,

Big Brother will be turning off the lights in ten minutes.

Silky silk.

Where'd youse put your wet jocks?

Aye, you're pretty jacked man. Huh?

Yeah. I know. Yeah.

You actually got that Zac Efron body, aye?

I know. I am Zac Efron.

You are. You're pretty ripped man.

I need some jocks.

JOSH: Oh mate. (ZACH LAUGHS)

JAKE: How are we doing the sleeping arrangements?

That's the real question.

Six, so one's gotta go on the ground.

LEWIS: I'm happy to go on the floor.

Would love a bed, not gonna lie.

Dude, if you snore, I'm gonna have to forcefully wake you up.

I'm not gonna sleep that well.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

Oh my god.

LOUIS: Dude it is so hot in here.

I'm sweating man. I can't breathe.

This train is a prison.

ANNELISE: You haven't even given me my proper skincare.

Nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you mate.

(JAKE LAUGHS) How good.

(LOUIS LAUGHS)

We're sleeping together.

(JAKE AND LOUIS LAUGH)

(LIGHTS FLICKER)

(TRAIN JOLTS) (HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

MAN: My brother.

BIG BROTHER: Goodnight housemates.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

WOMAN: I'm so tired.

DION: Oh snap.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

(CENSORED) hell.

This is Big Brother.

All housemates to the lounge immediately.

(HOUSEMATES GIGGLE EXCITEDLY)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Good morning housemates.

It is nice to see you all up so early.

(ARI YAWNS)

Last night you entered through the right door

which lead you to the luxury and comfort of my house.

But you are not doubt wondering about those who chose the left door.

Well... wonder no more.

(HOUSEMATES SCREAM)

(BLEEP)

Oh my...

Your fellow housemates are aboard the Big Brother Express.

(QUAN LAUGHS)

And what a journey it has been.

(HOUSEMATES SCREAM)

(MINEE LAUGHS)

(GRACIEMAE LAUGHS)

JAKE: Is the wine OK?

Oh, My. God.

(ZACH LAUGHS)

Oh it's blankets.

(HOUSEMATES GROAN)

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

What a stitch up for them.

I made the right choice.

I snatched the right door out of that girl's hand.

But that could all change right now.

Behind you is a lever

that will stop the train in its tracks.

When you hear the train whistle blow,

the first housemate to pull the lever

can choose one passenger to leave the train

and join you in my house.

Oh my god.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Oh.

(MINEE GIGGLES)

MAN: Go.

(TRAIN SCREECHES TO A HALT)

(LIGHTS FLICKER ON)

(ANNELISE LAUGHS)

Is that this morning? That's now. That's now.

Well done Minee.

Oh my god. I am so sorry.

(TRAIN SCREECHES TO A HALT) Dude!

Alright I'm up.

You have stopped my train.

Oh he was sleeping on the floor with a towel the poor dog!

But who will you choose to be your new housemate?

WOMAN: Oh my gosh.

Are we here?

That's the trenches.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH) That's proper trenches.

Minee, who will it be?

Are we here?

Minee... Oh my gosh.

ANNASOPHIA: Oh my god!

By pulling that lever,

you can now choose one person

to leave the train

and join you in the house.

Well everyone looks fun.

Who would you like that to be?

DION: It's Katy Perry.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

ARI: That's our one.

He's cute. We walked down with him.

He's... He's cute. That's our one.

Maybe not the guy with the Tradie shorts.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

Whose dude is that?

That's mine.

Is that Jake?

Yeah, Jake, yeah.

He's so cute.

BIG BROTHER: So, who would you like to choo-choo-choose, Minee?

Big Brother, can I choo-choo-choose... Jake?

WOMAN: Look at him. He's ready.

Thank you Minee.

I'm so excited. Oh!

And housemates, whenever the train whistle blows,

the first person to pull the lever

will choose the next person to enter the house.

Imagine we just never pull the lever.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

This is your conductor Big Brother.

Jake, it looks like this is your stop.

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

ANNELISE: Wait, wait, wait,

Big Brother I came on this train first!

Oh that's (BLEEP).

JAKE: My stop!

Please collect your belongings and make your way off the train.

ALL: Bye. JAKE: See ya.

(HOUSEMATES FAREWELL JAKE)

ANNELISE: Salty! Salty at you! I'm so jealous.

JAKE: I know man, it's so weird.

ANNELISE: Can't believe this.

(JAKE CHUCKLES)

Housemates, please welcome Jake.

(HOUSEMATES APPLAUD)

Hey!

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

This place is unreal! (HOUSEMATES CHUCKLE)

What's happening dude? DION: Nice to meet you.

Hello, hello. JAKE: Oh, good to see you again.

You too.

Quan, nice to meet you. Quan.

What a house in here!

Everyone's so good looking!

Nice to meet you dude, how are you going?

ARI: Ariana. Hi, nice to meet you Ariana.

Good bunch of looking people. You know how to pick them.

Oh, you have no idea where we've been.

We've seen. We've seen.

Oh, oh no!

We watched you on the screen.

Oh, really? Why do you think you're here?

Oh my god. 'Cause of her.

(QUAN LAUGHS) DION: She saved your life.

I saved you. JAKE: Did you actually?

Yeah. Oh my god, really?

(MINEE LAUGHS) Look at him.

Thank you so much!

Oh... oh my gosh. I don't even know her name.

Oh my god. May... Masie I think her name is.

I'm gonna have to find out.

Is it alright if I get a tour? See the joint?

It looks... It looks sick.

Yes. I'm gonna try my best to remember everyone's names.

Oh the other guys, they're going to be raging that I'm in here.

(JAKE LAUGHS)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

I'm so jealous.

Oooh. It's a big breakfast.

MAN: Yes! Eggs and bacon. No, not quite.

Alrighty.

So we've got some oatmeal

and coffee... This is so exciting.

That's horrible.

WOMAN: Is it oats?

It's like jail food.

(LOUIS RETCHES)

LEWIS: Is it actually that bad?

Oh bro, have some.

What's your guys' icks? Hey?

What's your guys' icks in people? I'll start.

I have this weird one

where I don't like people with puffy fingers and little nails.

MINNE: Oh my god, yeah!

That's me. That's me.

It's like, it's like fluffy.

I don't know how to explain it.

And their nails are just so tiny. And their nails are so little.

MAN: Yeah, it's an ick for me too.

And they're scrunched in there. Oh, I know the ones.

Don't touch me with those at all.

(CHATTER)

Yeah do you got any types?

I do have a type.

I like girls that are like really ladsy, like tomboyish.

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. I love it.

You would laugh, we looked like boys when we were younger.

We are literally so tomboy, it's insane.

I feel like in the last like,

two or three years have gone like girly vibes.

We're still tomboy but like, we're just super girly as well.

Nah, I like that.

BIG BROTHER: Josh...

Do you think there are any sparks flying?

With myself and Tay? Hundred percent.

Thanks for all the wingman -

Yards you put in mate.

That's what I'm here for. Yeah.

I am the wingman.

Yeah, you are the biggest wingman I've ever met.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS) That's....

WOMAN: Someone go! Someone go!

Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Oh! Go, grab it.

(TRAIN JOLTS TO A HALT) (TAYLAH SCREAMS)

MAN: Oh mate.

MAN: We're all good. Stress less.

No! Not the coffee. Oh yeah, that's alright.

Graciemae, it is time to make your decision.

I can't believe this.

Whose journey has reached the end of the line?

AnnaSophia.

(ANNASOPHIA SQUEALS EXCITEDLY) Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

This is your stop.

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

I love you guys so much, I'm sorry but I just, I needed that.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

Oh my god!

I've worked in luxury fashion my whole life. I just love it.

I do like the finer things in life.

Every pay cheque I earn goes to a lovely handbag.

I would say I'm a commitment-phobe. I see -

All the marriage and the children -

And I'm just like, I just want to buy handbags.

(LAUGHS) It's all I want to do.

(HOUSEMATES SQUEAL EXCITEDLY)

Oh my god! Oh my god! Sorry this is...

Hi I'm Graciemae.

Hi Graciemae. Lovely to meet you.

Hi I'm Ariana. Hi gorgeous. How are you?

Hi! Lovely to meet you.

That express train -

Was probably about a one out of ten.

How are ya? I'm Josh.

Hi, nice to meet you. Hello!

The Big Brother house is a lot different.

Have you told them about what we've been through?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god.

ANNELISE: Are you out for me Big Brother?

(ANNELISE GROANS)

Man!

LEWIS: It's alright. You're next.

I'm feeling it. Yeah.

I reckon, yeah.

What a stitch up.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

JOSH: Go. (HOUSEMATE SQUEALS)

(DION YELLS)

(TAYLAH SQUEALS)

Is that like, we're off the rails now?

Just full derailed.

WOMAN: Who are you saving?

Big Brother, I've made my decision.

The next passenger is...

DION: Annelise in the yellow dress...

She looks fed up. She's done with.

Attention all passengers.

But -

I want to get this Katy Perry bird in here.

Taylah, this is your stop.

(TAYLAH SQUEALS EXCITEDLY)

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD) Good luck.

Bye gang! I'll miss you all.

I'll see you on the other side.

LOUIS: We'll see you soon.

Don't forget about me, OK?

Bye.

Don't hate on me as soon as I walk out.

I want to let her know, I saved her.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

I haven't done - No flirting yet. None whatsoever.

Yay!

Watch me do it.

Watch my style baby.

Come to me my love! Come to me baby!

Come to me!

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

I saved you! I saved you!

This is a gift from me to you.

Oh my god! You saved... The lemon, thank you.

Be blessed my love. Oh my god!

Be blessed.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH) Be blessed.

Are you OK? Yeah I'm OK.

Oh my god! Are you OK? Come in.

Dion, he sounded like a -

Bit of a dickhead, I'll be honest.

She's here!

And then as soon as I met him

it's like, this is the energy that we need.

He's the vibes.

Yeah it was a really hard choice,

it was either your or the guy in Tradie jocks.

No it wasn't...

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

You picked well. Yeah.

Thank you. No worries.

He was just- We saw your reaction when he said your name.

The girl in the yellow was dirty.

When you turned around she was like this.

Oh, she wanted to get out.

Oh was not happy. Yeah.

No she's struggling at the minute.

I'm so confused.

SONIA: Coming up...

If this stains my hair, I will die.

Big Brother...

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

Is up to his dirty old tricks.

Oh my god!

(MINEE WHISTLES)

Hello, hello, hello.

How are you going?

Good. I'm just unpacking.

I am so excited.

Yeah. I still haven't thanked you for saving me.

No, don't worry.

I feel so bad for everyone.

It's full on in there. On there.

Yeah. It's, it's, it's hectic. Yeah.

I literally was like OK I need to go get (LAUGHS) him, I feel so bad.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Big Brother!

Oh!

WOMAN: Oh, are you OK?

(TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT TONE)

BIG BROTHER: Passengers, this is your conductor

Big Brother speaking.

I regret to inform you that the train has broken down.

MAN: Oh no!

We are out of steam.

All housemates please make your way to the garden.

MAN: Yes, sir. MAN: Oh here we go.

Oh no, they're all going outside.

MINEE: Holy...

(HOUSEMATES MURMUR)

That is insane Big Brother!

QUAN: Oh my god.

Which one's Dion?

DION: Brother! What's going on?

ANNELISE: Him, him, him. That's Dion. That's Dion.

BIG BROTHER: Housemates.

The BB Express has run out of steam

and they are completely stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Oh my god.

Luckily Big Brother has a way of generating some more heat

and hopefully, I can get this train up and moving again.

They got a challenge or something.

WOMAN: Oh my god!

As you can see, I have installed

a coal chimney that is connected to the engine of the train.

All it needs is something to fuel it with.

Something... steamy.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

One at a time, you will sit below

the chimney and Big Brother will ask you some saucy questions.

Oh no.

The more heat in the answers, the more steam you will generate.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

However, if your answer doesn't ignite a spark,

the chimney may backfire.

Oh my god!

And let me tell you, you don't want

to be sitting underneath it if it backfires.

MAN: Oh...

If this stains my hair, I will die.

Housemates, let's get this train moving.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

Yes! Yes.

AnnaSophia, please take a seat underneath my chimney.

(HOUSEMATES APPLAUD) WOMAN: Get it girl! Woo woo!

Get me out. Come on, steamy.

OK, we need some steam.

I want to get my friends off that train.

I do like the accent.

Well, let's ease into it shall we?

Big Brother hears you like fashion,

but who in the house would you most like to undress?

Ooh...

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH) WOMAN: Oh, hello.

Um... it's Lewis.

Aww! ANNELISE: Yeah Lewis!

And I would love to undress him just like piece by piece.

Awww! Yeah, she would! My boy!

I would start from the turtleneck,

take that off, go down and then end with the socks.

BIG BROTHER: That is pretty steamy.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

LOUIS: Yeah we got the steam.

Come on!

Yes she did.

So I was a passenger driving down the highway, I felt a bit frisky

so I jumped on top of the driver and nine months later my son was born.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Yes Taylah!

Demonstrate the best kiss you've ever had.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH) MAN: Yeah!

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

ANNELISE: That's pretty steamy.

That is steamy. DION: More tongue!

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

Do you need to settle down brother?

(DION LAUGHS)

JAKE: Oh god.

MAN: Go Jake.

He better not let us down.

What is your most steamy story?

Uh... I have...

oh god... no, I think...

Oh dear. No. Um...

Time's running out Jake.

I'm trying. Um, I...

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

(LEWIS LAUGHS)

Oil.

DION: I thought it was water.

Oh my god.

JAKE: I'm not steamy enough.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

DION: There you go!

Jake, perhaps you should have just done that to begin with

and you would have generated enough steam.

I know, I messed up.

Jake is very hot. Even with -

Mud on him.

I met this girl in an airport and she said meet me in the toilets...

Oh, they did a mile high club.

(HOUSEMATES GROAN)

Alright.

LEWIS: Come on Gracie.

Get us out of here.

My boyfriend and I were getting steamy in my bedroom

and then we heard a buzz buzz

from under the bed and it was my friend

hiding under the bed to scare us.

(LEWIS LAUGHS) She's funny.

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

Choo, choo!

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

Look at these girls, they're loving him.

Josh, which female housemate gets you hot under the collar?

Um...

I would say Tay so far.

TAY: I was glad because I think Josh is definitely

The one, for sure.

Out of everyone in the house, hundred percent.

What is your steamiest story?

I met this wonderful girl.

She had a friend with her

and we were getting on like a house on fire

and she was just like,

we're bisexual and she wanted me

to go back to their place and get steamy.

He loves a three-way.

You went back and played board games?

If there's, uh, whips involved in board games then maybe.

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM AND LAUGH)

(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUNDS)

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

Yes! Yes!

Tay, what do you think about

what Josh just admitted about,

what do you kids say, vibing you?

I liked it, I'm not gonna lie.

(TAY LAUGHS)

JOSH: She takes a liking back at me which is great.

I think, uh, that was a good ice breaker for us.

What is your steamiest story?

Alright. Think I've only got one, not that steamy but...

If it's not that steamy...

(TAY GASPS)

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM) I don't want to hear it.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

(LEWIS LAUGHS)

MAN: Yeah. WOMAN: Oh my god!

You keep a distance.

Ari...

Oh lord help me.

Has anyone caught your eye?

Jake the mud man in the back there, he's quite hot.

(UNEASY MUSIC)

Thank you.

What turns you on Ari?

Um...

Oh no.

Time's running out Ari.

A lot of things.

(HOUSEMATES GROAN)

Oh no!

That is nasty.

Oh my gosh.

Someone create some steam, I want to get out of here.

Minee.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

She's stunning.

Oh that must be the model that, um...

Yeah.

That Jake came in with.

(MINEE SQUEALS)

(ANGELIC MUSIC)

DION: Oh look at her in the wind.

JAKE: It's like majestic as.

Look at that beautiful hair Minee.

It's almost begging me to put tar all through it.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

Well if you do I'm going to cry and so is everyone else.

She's hot as.

Minee, have you got any vibes from any of your fellow housemates?

Big Brother there's a few good looking guys here, yeah,

like Jake...

(JAKE LAUGHS)

(JAKE BLOWS MINEE A KISS) Thank you.

(JAKE AND MINEE LAUGH)

And, you know, there was a blonde guy that looked cute.

I think it's that Louis.

Oh, that's you!

What is it about Louis that caught your eye?

I've only seen him,

I haven't even heard him speak so I can't really judge yet.

Well unless you help build up that steam

to get him here, you may never find out.

Give me your steamiest story.

OK so when I was younger we went out to the cinemas,

halfway through the movie,

we'd go into the bathroom and get it done.

(MINEE LAUGHS)

Hmmm.

(HOUSEMATES GROAN)

Big Brother is that not saucy enough for you?

I'm afraid it's not.

(MINEE SQUEALS) (HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

(MINEE SCREAMS)

(HOUSEMATES APPLAUD)

Good work. Work it!

Didn't get any on my face.

This is brutal.

Lucky last, Dion. (DION BARKS)

Let's go Pup. Let's go!

Let's go baby!

WOMAN: Let's go!

How are you feeling Dion?

I got to get some steam.

I've got to bring this girl home

'cause I took the right door from her.

If you could have your time again Dion,

would you have given Annelise the other door?

ANNELISE: No he wouldn't, he wouldn't.

You wouldn't, would you Dion?

DION: No.

ANNELISE: Yeah, exactly.

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM)

Yes Big Brother!

Dion, that's for Annelise.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

Oh, I love you Big Brother. Thank you.

Housemates, despite a few backfires,

it appears you have generated enough steam

to get the BB Express moving again.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

There we go.

As a reward for your efforts, I've organised a party

to welcome the last four train passengers to my house.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

I suggest you clean off that tar and glow up ASAP.

QUAN: Got a party, dinner party.

Where's this hose?

ARI: Should we like hose each other off?

I like hosing girls down, baby.

Jake, how did you enjoy that task?

That was really fun, at the same time very interesting.

I'm very pleased at the end result.

Pleased about Minee confessing that she thought you were cute?

Yeah that was nice hearing that.

I'm a sucker for my blondes

and she has a great body.

At the same time -

Ari did say she vibes me.

That is great news as well

'cause I... kind of like them as well.

(JAKE LAUGHS)

So it's going my way so far.

SONIA: After a day of steamy stories...

Hey!

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

The housemates are glamming up...

WOMAN: That is so cute, wear that.

Yeah?

One hundred percent.

Meanwhile, a nervous Jake

has decided to enlist Big Brother's help to impress Minee.

I'm going to pursue it with Minee -

And try to flirt a little bit, see, see if I've got it.

Shall we do some role-play Jake?

(JAKE LAUGHS) OK.

Let's pretend I'm Minee. Yes Big Brother.

Approach me.

Hi Minee, um, your hair looks great after you washed it,

it looks like you have...

oh no way, wait, wait, let's just start again Big Brother.

Hi Minee, did um, did... oh my gosh!

Wow.

Hey Minee, you know what,

would you be interested in possibly sitting down

and having a chat with me?

Sure Jake, what would you like to talk about?

I'd love to talk about what you're into

and some of your hobbies Minee.

This is truly awful Jake.

(JAKE SIGHS, DEFEATED) God Big Brother.

(JAKE GROANS)

Those shoes are unreal.

MINEE: I know. Like Cinderella.

What are your thoughts on chihuahuas?

Chihuahuas?

I like chihuahuas but I just saw this like,

story of how a chihuahua bit off somebody's mouth so...

Oh.

(MINEE LAUGHS)

Great chat.

Yeah.

I need to check up my makeup. Oh.

Housemates.

Are you ready to meet your final four housemates?

ALL: Yes.

Yep.

I can't wait to watch this interaction.

Of me and Annelise? Yeah.

Oh the poor thing.

She hates my gut. She'd be weathered by now.

When she walks in, you should have picked the other door sweetheart.

(HOUSEMATES EXCLAIM WARILY)

ARI: She would be salty.

Hey, look!

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

You like that baby? Keep coming baby!

WOMAN: Keep coming!

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

ANNELISE: You guys are all looking very nice.

Oh my god darl, how are you?

Oh it's been rough. But we're good, we're good.

I'm Gracie. Annelise.

Annelise. Nice to meet you.

I'm Ariana, how are you? Oh my god.

ANNELISE: Look I've seen better days but we're alright.

Hello Annelise.

Hi.

Welcome to the Big Brother house.

Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

Do you think train travel is something you'll embark on again?

If I go first class.

Hey brother, how are you? Good mate.

Zach, nice to meet you. Dude, you made it!

Mate! You got out so lucky. I know.

Hi, Minee, nice to meet you. Hey Louis. Lovely to see you.

Ariana. G'day, Louis.

Hi, I'm Gracie.

LEWIS: Hi Gracie, how are you?

Good.

What up girl? How you going?

Oh dude. How do you feel?

That was hectic.

ANNELISE: Hello. DION: What's going on? Listen.

No, we got issues.

Listen. Oi. I paid for it though.

Yeah! Big Brother made me pay...

Big Brother's got my back. I wanted that door.

I wanted that door.

How are you my love? It's so good to see you.

Are you well? Yeah I'm good.

You're good now? It's been rough.

So, how are things with Dion?

Well he apologised.

But -

He messed with the wrong girl Big Brother, that's all I can say.

It looked, It looked pretty bad.

I was really miserable. But yeah, anyway.

We're here. It's good to have you here.

Do you forgive him?

We'll see.

We'll see how he tests my water in the next twenty-four hours.

I'll make my decision then.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER)

What a start of a Big Brother experience for you.

The vibe in the house is a good vibe.

This is fantastic. Wasn't it all worth it?

Yeah.

WOMAN: Oh my god!

Everyone's got a good personality.

Let's do a cheers.

LUKE: Yeah cheers to the train people.

ALL: Yeah! (HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

It's a fun house. Capital letters.

TAYLAH: Um, did you hear that they heard everything,

what we were saying?

The challenge today when they were like oh,

so who do you find attractive in the house?

And we're like... Shit.

Oh shit! Shit, did they watch that?

No... sorry you were like I want to undress him.

Oh my god, no! Oh my god. Oh, oh!

You want to slowly undress him.

I literally said so... I talk so much.

Nothing but his socks. (TAYLAH LAUGHS)

Oh my god I can't believe I said that.

How embarrassing.

Hello Lewis. Welcome to the Big Brother house.

Oh it's nice to be out and meet the other housemates.

Most of the people know you as the Tradie jock dude.

(JAKE AND LEWIS LAUGH)

And any of the female housemates caught your eye?

Yeah, maybe.

AnnaSophia is quite gorgeous

and after hearing her little steamy story -

I might see if I can get to know her

a little better while I'm in the house.

Secret admirer. Yeah, I know.

She loves the turtleneck.

(JAKE LAUGHS) That's right. I was stoked.

I was like kind of the same thing,

I was like oh my god I really hopes she says she likes me.

When she said she liked me I was like (GASPS)

How good? So good.

Oh, he's cute, isn't he?

(QUAN AND ANNASOPHIA LAUGH)

Oh my god stop.

This is Big Brother.

Graciemae please make your way to the Diary Room.

WOMAN: Gracie. What have I done?

MAN: You're a gremlin.

Oh my god! What this?

They are pretty, aren't they?

They are stunning.

What is this?

Please take these crowns to the lounge

and gather your housemates.

OK.

(GRACIEMAE HUMS MAJESTICALLY)

(HOUSEMATES MURMUR)

(BRITISH ACCENT) Everybody gather please.

That's so cute.

(BRITISH ACCENT) Who wants one? Oh.

Do not touch Graciemae.

Sorry. (HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

Housemates, there is a door at the end of the hallway

that is locked.

What lies behind that door

will be the most sought after room in my house.

Private, exclusive...

and most of all, well away from prying eyes.

WOMAN: Cheeky, cheeky.

Oh cheeky.

BIG BROTHER: Each week, this private suite

will be exclusively occupied by the King and Queen

of the Big Brother house.

(JAKE LAUGHS)

I want to be the Queen.

Yeah. I'm going to have to find, find myself a king.

OK.

Housemates, who do you think needs a chance

to get to know each other in their own secluded space?

Does anyone need some private time?

JAKE: I have got the hots

for Minee and Ari.

I want that room Big Brother.

I'm not kidding.

Choose wisely housemates.

Housemates, who do you think

needs a chance to get to know each other

in their own secluded space?

Does anyone need some private time?

Choose wisely housemates.

Dion and Quan I reckon.

Sorry, what?

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

Yeah, yeah, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!

No!

Oh!

Or Tay and Josh, if we're being honest.

ARI: Yeah, yeah, Tay and Josh.

MAN: Yeah. The big gun.

(HOUSEMATES APPLAUD)

Settled!

Is it settled? Is it settled?

As long as it's alright with you.

It's sweet with me. No complaints here.

Oh, Josh and Tay!

We have chosen...

(HOUSEMATES DO DRUMROLL)

Tay and Josh.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER) Ladies first.

Get up here you scallywags.

JOSH: Can't wait to see the bed.

Use your power wisely darls.

I will, thank you.

(TAY LAUGHS)

Shit. Thank you.

(HOUSEMATES LAUGH)

MAN: Are you alright?

BIG BROTHER: Congratulations to our new King and Queen...

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

Josh and Tay.

What do you think of the King and Queen?

Oh look I'm happy for them.

They were the only two that have formed a real connection

in the house and I wonder if they'll get up to anything

real fricken naughty.

The King and Queen suite is now open.

(HOUSEMATES CHEER AND APPLAUD)

JOSH: It's a privilege to be the first

King of the house and, uh -

Couldn't have asked for a better Queen.

I've only met her yesterday but Tay, she's unbelievable girl.

Great looking too. Very beautiful.

No way! You're kidding!

(TAY LAUGHS) What?

Are you serious? Living our best lives in here.

Oh! We staying in the Ritz or what?

Literally. This is insane.

Done well mate.

How does it feel being the King and Queen of the house?

Oh I love being the queen of the house.

It's the best.

And I get a cute tiara and a cute bedroom and a cute boy.

Alright, cheers. Cheers. Killed it.

Are you telling me the king is cute?

The king is very cute indeed. Stoked.

DION: Enjoy your first sleep in paradise, train group.

(ANNELISE CHEERS)

Oh! So good. Good to be here.

DION: You finally made it.

Do you guys reckon Tay and Josh have kissed yet?

WOMAN: Maybe not yet.

JAKE: Probably like strawberries with chocolate.

Aww!

Goodnight my loves.

Goodnight. Goodnight.

(DION BARKS)

JOSH: When I came in here I was like

I'll just, like, lay on the bed and then I was like no,

I can't do that 'cause I haven't got a phone, it'll just like look...

Oh you're sitting there like...

Look awkward, you just walk in I'm just like in bed.

(TAY LAUGHS) Walk around for a bit.

I know.

(SWEEPING MUSIC)