All language subtitles for Transplant 4x05 - Heart.BAE.en-en

My sister and I immigrated here

because I caught the attention
of a man who helped us.

You and Amira were part of our family.

You just packed up and left.

- Hydromorphone.
- If you have pain, Claire,

that pain should be managed.

We're going to make
an accountability plan

for the painkillers. So
that they stay under control.

Yeah, I want kids, too.

I have no idea how I'd make
that work or if I can even...

I want you to think long
and hard about whether

this is the right profession for you.

Dr. Novak, I think you made your point.

This mess is not a
good look for Trauma OR.

In that case, you can have the future.

June, say whatever you
want to Ryan, I am out.

This is an example of why
you didn't get the fellowship.

This instinct to leap blindly.

Every time I think I've built something,

that feeling fades and I just run.

A heart may come tomorrow or never.

- This is good news.
- Like, I got the job?

- Have any doubts or concerns?
- No, no.

There's a heart waiting
and it's a perfect match.

I need you to confirm.

Are you accepting this heart?

Yeah, I... I can be at
the hospital in 20 minutes.

Great news.

I'll inform the surgeon
and connect with you

once you get here.
Congratulations, Mags.

Thanks, Connie.

Uh... I have to go.

I just, uh... I just
matched with a heart.

- Already?
- Yeah, I've been on a list

- for a few months.
- Sorry, you're leaving

right now to go get a heart transplant?

To do, uh, a pre-surgical
work-up before anything else.

But, uh... What do I bring?

I didn't ask what I should bring. I...

- You want us to come with you? We...
- No, no.

It's like a sick joke.

I'm like in the middle
of celebrating the thing

I've wanted my whole life.
Why is this happening now?

Hey.

It's going to be okay.

Thank you guys for coming.

Mags.

- Let me take you.
- No. No, it's okay.

I think I just need to...

Okay? Are you okay?

Shouldn't I be asking you that?

Uh, I... would not
know how to... answer.

- Are you on tomorrow?
- Uh-huh.

Come see me.

In my head, where? How? The tumour.

Uh, it's in the frontal
lobe of your brain.

Guess that explains the headache.

- Which you've had for how long?
- Months.

Like I said when you first examined me.

What happens now?

Hey, are you listening?

Hey, man.

I saw your text and my
admin said you were waiting,

but I'm pretty wall-to-wall
today so unless it's...

I was just in the middle
of talking to a patient

and I realized that...

I can't remember the last 14 hours.

- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -

It's like you know when you drove home,

but you don't remember the journey.

I... I zone out sometimes,

but it's been at least two
years since it happened.

But it sounds like you got walloped
with some pretty intense news yesterday.

Not getting the ED job and
then this thing with Mags.

That's why she didn't
tell me because she knew

I'd find a way to wear it. And
why she ended things with me.

What's�the�point�of�the�work�we
do�if�this�is�still�where�I�am?

I have a patient in my office
who might not want to hear that.

Look, I didn't mean to offend you, I...

You don't want this to
be happening, but it is.

So focus on the practical.

Make sure nothing got missed
with any of your patients,

and tell your chief that you need

the afternoon off for personal reasons.

You make it sound so simple.

If you want to talk more,
I can see you at 4 P.M.

The cath went well.

No abnormalities we weren't expecting.

Pulmonary pressure was also fine.

How do you feel, Mags?

Um... You said "fine",
does that mean not good?

I get the impetus to be the doctor,

but today, that's my job. We'll
make sure everything's in range.

Okay. But are you saying it isn't?

Because you both seem kind of...

There was a small
flag in your bloodwork.

White cells at 13.

Are you worried about
infection or inflammation?

That's not me trying to be a doctor.

That's just me being me.

- Will you start antibiotics?
- Yes.

There's plenty of time
for you to respond.

The donor heart hasn't
even been retrieved yet.

Assuming your count is in range by then,

we could be operating
as early as this evening.

My team will need around
seven hours for the transplant.

After that, you'll
be in CICU a few days.

Then�the�ward�for�about�a�week.

Save your strength, Dr. Leblanc.

We'll speak soon.

Doesn't seem to like me very much.

Mags, Andrew's the top guy.

What he reserves in emotional
labour, he spends on the table.

He's the one you want doing this.

Will the backup recipient
still be an option?

If I'm ruled out from infection,

- will the heart still be of use?
- Don't worry about any of that.

I'll admit, I'm surprised
you said yes to this

considering we weren't
expecting a match so soon.

And when you found out you
made the list, you were unsure.

Am I allowed to ask how
the retrieval process works?

The donor's in another hospital.

When the family's ready,
they'll withdraw life support.

Retrieval doctor will bring the heart,

Andrew's team will have you prepped.

How do people even do that?

You know, just, wait without...

- Driving themselves nuts.
- Yeah.

It's mostly practical stuff.

Many of my patients aren't able to

be as active as you are at this stage,

so they're already set
up for a long recovery.

So maybe contact your family.

Confirm care plans.

Cellulitis is on fluids and antibiotics.

Hip fracture is waiting on OR.

And Dr. Thibeault hasn't
come back from imaging.

- Okay, and Doctor...
- Thibeault.

Is he one of the new residents?

The thoracics guy from
upstairs? He's on call tonight,

but came in with this
suspected gallbladder attack.

- You ordered a formal ultrasound.
- Yes!

Yes, uh... Ultrasound. Um...

And the lady with the
tumour, has oncology been in?

- Tanya, she was in E.
- She has a tumor?

Holy crap. She came in with
a headache she couldn't shake,

thinking she'd drunk herself
into oblivion. Her words.

- What made you order an MRI?
- Uh, just a lucky hunch.

Well, good on you. I'll handle oncology.

Okay, and, uh, after
that, we're all caught up,

- there's nothing else pending?
- Nope.

Is there something
you're worried we missed?

- No.
- Okay.

- Hey.
- Bashir.

_

_

_

_

_

_

Well, don't keep us in suspense.

_

_

Uh...

No, nothing like that.

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

I, I guess I was just,
um, thinking about things.

_

Yeah, yeah. Of course, of course.

Um, yeah. Okay, salam.

Yeah, salam.

Dr. Novak, this is June Curtis,
obviously, you know that.

Were you screening my calls?
Because that would be a dick move.

Look, I just wanted to know if you're

non-presence today was intentional.

I know we had some words yesterday,

but�that's�not�uncommon�for�us.
But�then�you�made�that�comment

about me putting my stability
on you which isn't even...

Can you please call
me when you get this?

Thank you.

- Hi, June.
- Hi!

- Thank you so much for this.
- Yeah, of course.

- Yeah, hi.
- Hi.

She said something about
having to get her...

white blood cell count down,
do you think that's very bad?

Uh, not necessarily.
You know, when they're doing

- a heart transplant, sometimes...
- This is all she wanted?

I... think so.

Uh, everything from her bedroom floor.

- Yeah.
- Exactly what she requested,

I think. I'll help you bring it up.

I'll be fine. You're busy. I'm sure.

Yeah, if there's anything
else you need from the house

- or anything at all, then I...
- Well, her sister's coming too,

so you can get back to your life.

Yeah.

Oh.

June?

- Yeah, uh, it's...
- Is something wrong?

Oh, it's nothing.

Oh, it's all just a lot, isn't it?

If you're anything like my daughter,

I know how much she carries so...

No, it's not that.
I'm taking hormone therapy

to stimulate ovulation,
and when that happens,

- I get this annoying pain.
- You're trying for a baby?

Thinking about it.

I don't know if I can, but...

June, that's wonderful.

It's the hardest and
best thing you'll ever do,

loving someone that much.

Um, I...

I'm feeling better now.

I should get back to Mags. Thank you.

- Oh.
- Please don't touch me!

- Is that Owen?
- Please don't touch me.

Every time we try the
BP cuff, he loses it.

- It's like it's hurting him.
- Well, that's because it is.

Hey, Owen, Owen. I'm
Theo. You okay, buddy?

About two years ago, his family
came in after a boating accident.

I'm going to get this
blanket off of you, okay?

- Theo, he's shivering...
- I know.

Do you remember me?

No, that's okay, because I remember you.

Let's dim the lights, guys.
And no sound on the monitors.

Owen has sensory processing disorder,

so no one touches him
without checking, okay?

Tell me everything that's
bothering you, buddy.

Can't breathe. Leg hurts.

And somebody's deodorant
is making me itchy.

Alright, let's deal with
those in order, okay?

We need to get you onto our gurney.

It's going to suck. But it'll
be quick and you can scream

- as loud as you need to, okay?
- Okay.

Alright, let's move this closer.

It'll be on my count.

One, two, three.

Good job, good job!

Okay, look, this next
step needs a monitor.

We have to stick these
little pads to you, okay?

- Can I do it myself?
- Yeah, of course you can.

Alright, under your shirt,
on your right chest, okay?

And this one on the left.
And this one on your belly.

Alright, can you tell me what happened?

I rode into some dirt, flipped
over my bike handlebars.

Were you wearing a helmet?

That's good.

I need you to put this on your
chest and take a breath for me, okay?

Okay, then this side.

Okay, I'll take that back.

He's super tachy. 192 and climbing.

Alright, Claire, set up a chest tube.
Prep 30mg of ketamine.

- Without a BP? Theo...
- Owen, the reason it hurts

to breathe is probably a
partially collapsed lung.

I need to fix that. I
also need to do an X-ray

of your leg for the bone
doctor. It's going to require

a lot of feeling around, okay?

So can we make a plan
to get you through this?

Last time you made me sleep,

even though I didn't want you to.

- Yes, I did.
- Can you do that again?

I think I rather be numb.

Yeah, um, while Claire does that,

the third thing you said is
that you were feeling itchy.

Forget that. I think it's okay.

Are you sure?
Because I'm here to help you.

I can't go anywhere.

I have no freedom.

Um, you know, not on your
bike for a little while,

- but when your leg heals...
- It's not enough.

My mom's always busy. My
friends do stuff without me

because... the subway's loud!

I want my driver's licence when I'm 16.

Well, okay, look, if
you're looking for a lesson,

now might not be the best time, pal.

A letter.

Because of how I am.

I need a doctor to say it's safe.

Alright, let's get
through this first, okay?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Um, Ms... Leblanc.

Um, I'm Dr. Hamed.

I'm here to give you a status update,

but I... don't know what it is.

I know I should've told you.

It's just all been so fast and weird

with mushy odds in every direction

about whether it's worth the risk

or if a heart was ever going to come...

- Mags.
- I haven't even... been sure how I feel.

I mean, I'm barely letting
myself think about it.

It's okay. Really.

I understand why you didn't tell me.

But I want to be here for you now

in whatever way you need me to be.

Thank you.

All of this is like...

It's�like�it's�happening�to�me.

It's almost like...

Like you don't know how you got here?

Yeah.

And I'm trying to
find a way to tell Devi

because she doesn't know that
I'll need at least six months

to recover from major surgery.

And who knows how
many concessions after.

I don't know.

Maybe I should just fall
on my sword and resign.

Don't. Don't volunteer to quit.

What else am I supposed to do?
Devi put her trust in me

and I betrayed her by not telling
her that this was happening.

I think because I couldn't face it.

Or I wouldn't.

Hey, you could let me tell her.

Bash, it's not fair to put that on...

I want to be here for
you, Mags. And I need to...

- Bash...
- Look, will you just

let me do this for you?

I'll run down the medical facts to her

and give her the space to respond.

It'll be okay.

- Is this about ICU bed spacing?
- Uh, no.

No, they cleared some. I was
looking at my shifts for next week.

And I remembered you asked
if I ever felt overloaded...

- Holy Hell.
- Is something wrong?

Uh... I was accidentally copied on this

email from our CMO at
the board saying that

I have failed to address
this situation about

this resident being
mistreated in Trauma OR.

He didn't mean for me
to read this, right?

"One of us will have to talk to Neeta."

Was that about Novak
yelling at some kid?

And the man who didn't even
want me knowing about this

is now blaming me for
the actions of the man

who�did�this�in�the�first�place.

Anyway. Um, what did you need?

- Nothing. I'll figure it out.
- Thanks.

Dr. Thibeault, I understand
you are trying to make...

What's your ED passcode?
The system won't let me

look at my imaging and the
tech wouldn't tell me anything,

even though he knows me.

It's against their policy to diagnose...

Yeah, I already know
that it's gallstones.

I just want to see the extent of it.

There's actually no
evidence of gallstones

or gallbladder injury
according to your ultrasound.

Show me.

It makes no sense.

This�is�a�classic�presentation.

Acute pain that radiates to the
right after heavy or high-fat foods.

Pain between the shoulder
blades, nausea. Hold on.

Are you working a lot of late shifts?

You know, lack of sleep and
stress can affect gut health?

Let me just stop you right there, okay?

I've used the whole "what's
going on in your life" speech

to patients who just
want to be reassured

nothing's wrong my whole career.

Stressed, depressed, anxious?

Sleep better. Eat better.
Hydrate. No, this is not that.

It's more intense localized pain.

Look, as a doctor,

I understand the
impulse to self-diagnose,

but there is several documented
cases of stress and anxiety

- causing 10 out of...
- Bud!

I'm not here for therapy.
This isn't mental.

I will ask your radiologist
to review your report.

That's not good enough. I want a HIDA.

Do you know what that is?

Hepatobiliary iminodiacetic acid scan?

Yes, I know what that
is. I will refer you.

- It takes a couple of weeks.
- I want one today.

I'm not sure that's possible.
Radiology is at fu...

Well then, bump someone!
Okay, I'm on tonight anyway.

- I'll make the time.
- Dr. Thibeault...

You're a resident, right?

- For a few more months, yes.
- Yeah, I'm not.

So I'm telling you to do your job.

Get me on that list.

I see you're still not quite
a fan of folding your things.

My bedroom clutter hasn't
been your problem in 15 years.

- Let's not regress.
- It's just if you want to feel

presentable when you have visitors.

I don't know, maybe
somebody here has an iron.

Don't do that, please, Mom.

Thank you for coming to
town so quickly, though.

_

Mom... Am I making the
right decision here?

Well, um, both your doctors
agree there is no other choice.

And your surgeon
mentioned you were nervous

and that it's normal to be,

but he's done this many times before.

They do have to say that, you know?

I wanted to ask if maybe
I could come to Montreal

for a few weeks once I'm out but...

Doesn't make any sense, does it?

No, you need to be close to
the hospital and your doctors.

I was sure you of all
people would have a whole

flow chart mapped out on the logistics.

Well, I don't.

So now I'm thinking that maybe you

can come to June's for a week or two.

And then I'd get a nurse, obviously.

Magalie, your father,
sister and I found a rental

near�the�hospital,�two�bedrooms.

We will trade on and off
all year if we need to.

I don't want you guys
disrupting your lives.

Don't be silly. We're your family.

I'll tell your father to
speak to the broker today.

There is an 80% success rate
in the first year, you know?

That means starting the clock,
from tonight's operation,

if�they�clear�me�for�it,�I�have
a�one-in-five�chance�of�dying.

_

Yeah, I just... I need to
make sure that you understand

what's happening here, Mom.

That is not a thought any
of us need in our heads

right now, especially not you.

_

_

I asked to be here when you woke up.

Guess that message wasn't received.

Uh, but the traction is
only going to be 24 hours.

- I know.
- Must be uncomfortable.

Have to lie still with
all this stuff on you.

But the bone doctors
agree to let you stay here,

so I could get you everything you need.

Thanks!

Owen, you said you flipped
over your handlebars.

But the way your leg broke
made it look like you jumped.

Now, what you... talked about earlier

about you having no freedom. If
you want to talk to someone...

- I found the good kind, bud.
- Thanks, Mac.

Dr. Hunter, let's chat in the hall.

You wanted him to talk
to somebody about what?

I'm sorry. Are you... family?

Mac Hinkley. I'm Owen's GP.
He asked me to come down.

- Instead of his mother?
- Well, that's between them.

But their relationship is, uh, tough.

- I remember.
- What you don't know about is

his mass cell activation syndrome.

Owen has MCAS? Since when?

Was diagnosed last year.

I think maybe it factored into
the SPD, or accentuated it.

There is so much they
don't know about it, though.

Would that explain today?
The racing heart?

Probably. MCAS means "severe,
unpredictable reactions".

Cardiac, autoimmune, GI...

to stimuli that's constantly evolving.

He�was�afraid�of�being�itchy
because�of�someone's�deodorant,

but then he just said it was okay.

It's a new environment.

He never knows when he's safe.

Which is why we're going to limit the

people coming in and out of his room.

Because he lives in a
constant fear of triggers.

Are you asking him to talk to a psych?

Well, Owen said that he
flipped over his handlebars,

but his femur's fracture pattern,

it... well, it said
to me that he jumped.

You never horsed around
when you were his age?

Owen has challenges, sure.

But he's still a kid which means doing

the same stupid things and
not wanting to cop to it.

Right, but what if
that isn't what happened

- and he intended to hurt himself?
- He wouldn't do that.

You know, we started a desensitization
program to help with the SPD.

We're making progress.

Um, does he have a specialist?

Because I could give you some referrals.

He's got an endless list of them.

But the only one who
actually knows the kid is me.

If Owen wanted to hurt
himself, I'd know it.

He asked me to help him make a
plan to get a driver's licence.

And you think because I said no to that,

he threw himself off a cliff?!

I get he wants to
drive when he's of age.

But he knows that it
might not be realistic.

And I'm not saying he wants to die.

Okay, bad feelings can be fleeting,

but there was a desperation in the ask.

Like he feels trapped.

You're wrong, Dr. Hunter. You're wrong.

And I don't want you bringing
this up with him again.

The good news is it looks operable.

And our surgeon said that she has
an opening tonight for a craniotomy.

Tonight? Does it have to happen so fast?

When they make time so quickly,

waiting is not advisable.

Okay.

When my son was born, something changed.

I was, um, sad. All the time.

I started drinking to self-medicate,
and... the headaches started.

My therapist called it depression.

Another one said "new mother syndrome".

And my friends called it "Wine Mom".

Except, they were all wrong and
it was only ever a brain tumour.

So... all the work I did,
the endless counseling,

the A.A. meetings was just pointless?

It sounds like you did
everything you could

with the information you had.

You call yourself a
mother, you selfish bitch!

This is beyond... I've had enough.

I'm calling the police.
Never try seeing us again.

My�ex�came�to�pick�up�our�son

and he found me passed out in the yard.

My little boy had locked
himself up in the bathroom

because�he�was�terrified�of�me.

I miss my son.

Hey. Tumours like this,
they affect memory,

decision-making, personality.
This is not your fault, Tanya.

But the damage is done.

I ruined my marriage
and scarred my child.

... went out on a limb with a specific
plan that Mags was essential to.

And you're telling me that
she knew this was a risk?

- Uh, Dr. Devi...
- Obviously, I'm concerned about her

from a health perspective, but...

How did you expect me to
respond to what you just said?

Um, which part of what I just said?

Look, you and I both have
other things to do, I'm sure.

Give my best to Mags.

I will but regarding her job, I just...

I'm sorry, Dr. Hamed, but that's
gonna have to stay between me and her.

- Oh.
- Hi!

Sorry.

- We're busy, come back later.
- Oh. I'm so sorry, Doctor.

- Um, Doctor?
- Curtis.

I'm Della. And this is...

- Hartley. Hello.
- Hi, Hartley.

I hear this is a
hernia-related emergency.

So Hartley developed
one about a year ago

and he was supposed to get it fixed

- at one of those private clinics.
- Trauma Hotels.

Okay, I take that to mean
it didn't happen. Why?

He has a phobia of being put under.

- Have you heard of it?
- Tomophobia. Good word.

- Bad feeling.
- Which we figured out

when he bit the anesthesiologist.

- I�bit�three�anesthesiologists.
- No, it was one on three separate occasions.

Okay... Is he...

Are you feeling scared
right now, Hartley?

So here is where it gets
maybe a little weird.

Um... So last night,
he was in so much pain

and the thing started bulging

which the internet said
could mean "incarceration"?

- So she drugged me.
- She drugged you with what?

- Ecstasy.
- Ecstasy?

I know! But he was resistant to coming

- and I knew that we needed to.
- She slipped it in my coffee.

How lucky am I to have
someone like this in my life?

Okay, so you gave him
ecstasy without his knowledge?

No, he tolerates it fine.

- We used to...
- Hartley, hi!

... be partyers.

Pills usually lose
their potency over time.

We had one laying around
the house for over a year.

And so I figured it would
just mellow him enough.

You know this is gonna show
up on his urinalysis, right?

I�didn't�know�what�else�to�do.

Okay, he was in so much pain,

and every time he gets
close, he just can't.

He's gonna be okay, right? I
mean, you can help me, can't you?

If we're going to repair this...

If? No, you have to.

What's your fear level at now?

On a scale of one to... "bitey".

Doubt I'll ever be afraid
again thanks to you.

I'll be right back.

So that guy needs an
emergency hernioplasty

except he's high on ecstasy because his

wife gave it to him
without his knowledge.

I'm not sure of the ethics of all this.

It's actually a crime,
so if he wants us to call the police...

Pretty sure he thinks it's romantic.

- I heard Novak's gone AWOL.
- Yeah.

I think we should use this as a reason

to move him out of Trauma OR.

Like, permanently?

Is it even possible for him to be AWOL?

Technically, he answers to himself.

Which is a problem!

He has no accountability
and he's unreliable.

- He's like unpredictable.
- He is toxic chaos.

And I have a job to
do in this department.

Well, if this about
making an example of him...

He has dug himself into a hole,

and I can't for the
life of me understand you

- and why you defend him.
- I get it, okay. I get it.

He's got blind spots,
yes. But him and I built

something together in
Trauma OR and I just...

I don't feel right blowing it up.

Outstanding patients in the last hour?

Um, no, I gave the tumor
lady a surgical update,

but I think I got distracted after.

Wait, was that why she left?

Tanya left?

You didn't know?

They wanted her upstairs
for pre-op stuff,

but she told me you told her to go.

No, I would never have...

Is she coming back?

- Should I tell OR to cancel?
- No, no, no.

Call her first. Try every
number we have for her.

Bash. Did something
happen between you two?

No, nothing happened.
Just grab me if you get her, okay?

- Okay.
- Thanks.

Well, the only other actionable
thing in the last hour was...

Bashir, we need to talk
about Dr. Ruston Thibeault.

- Yeah, that.
- You booked an urgent consul

to my office, but Rusty was
expecting a HIDA scan, not psych.

And he was very upset when I showed up.

I made space. You already
knew I was wall-to-wall today.

Wait, wait, wait.
Rusty's waiting for more imaging?

Did I get that wrong, Bash?
Because I could've sworn

you asked me to set up a
psych referral. Yeah, you did.

At least, that's what I have here.

No, Arnold, you didn't get that wrong.

- Thanks.
- Okay...

It happened again.

Do you remember what you said to Rusty?

He convinced himself
that he has gallstones,

but all the medical facts
pointed to an anxiety reaction,

- so I just...
- You wanted him to take

the steps that you were refusing to?

I told you this morning to accept

that this was happening and
to take yourself off the floor.

I was about to go talk to
Devi about it like you said,

but then Mags needed me
to talk to Devi as well,

- so�I�wanted�to�be�there�for�her.
- You�risked�your�own�wellbeing,

not to mention your other patients'.

With the exception of
sending Rusty to you,

I only saw one patient, who
I was with when I gapped!

- Bashir...
- No, she was saying that

she was having these personality changes

due to depression, but it was actually

because of a giant tumour in her head.

Bash, do you hear yourself?

You say our work is
pointless, ignore my advice,

and then demand for help on your terms?

Do you remember what your patient
was saying when you were triggered?

Yeah, that the damage had been done

and it was too late to fix it,

and I guess that just
made me feel like...

Look, when I came back to
myself, I was talking to Devi.

And, uh...

And now, my patient's gone

and I may have really
messed things up for Mags.

You need to take responsibility

for your actions today.
Or I'll have to do it for you.

You know, it might be a good
idea if I get you an Ativan.

When it happened this morning,

I texted my friend Saleh in Syria.

And I guess I offered to sponsor both

him and his wife to come to Canada.

Even though I can't afford it.

And then everything's
so uncertain right now,

- what was I thinking?
- That you miss him.

That you deserve love and friendship.

Because you're not broken and
some part of you actually believes that.

- Take it off! I need it off!
- Owen, you need to stay still.

I need to scratch, it hurts!

- It itches.
- Okay, what happened?

Who has been in here besides me?

- He's reacting to something.
- Well, I don't see a rash.

Sometimes he just feels it.

Okay,�Owen,�what�do�you�need?

What can we do to make you feel better?

You�don't�really�want�to�know.

You'll use it as a reason

to stop me from doing
things I want to do.

- Owen, I just want to help you.
- Nothing helps!

Nothing ever helps! I'm
stuck this way and I hate it!

Make me sleep again, please!

Make me numb. I just want to be numb!

I'll get you a sedative.

Hey, Theo, can you cover the
rest of my patients today?

Uh, yeah, sure, I think so.
Just one sec.

Arnold,�I�need�30mg�of�ketamine

and 10 cetirizine for Owen, stat.

- On it, I'll meet you in there.
- What's this about? This about Mags?

She okay?

I've been texting you for
info, but you haven't...

No, no, no, it's not.
It's not. I'll explain later.

Arnold, can you help him
with the patient transfer?

Yeah.

Dr. Thibeault, I wanted to...

You don't look so...

Hey, hey. Have a seat.

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

It's a rash, it's fine.

You're going to tell me
that's all in my head, too.

The psych consult could
have been handled better.

Damn straight.

But I never said it was
all in your head, Rusty.

Gallstones or not, what
you're feeling is real.

- May I?
- Yeah.

Breathe.

Are you experiencing
airway constriction?

Because your lips look like
they're starting to swell.

- Yeah. I think so.
- With me.

Anaphylaxis is not a
symptom of gallstones.

Are you allergic to anything?

No, radioactive imaging,
tracer dye apparently.

Wait, did you inject yourself with it?

You wouldn't get me a HIDA scan,

I had to take matters into my own hands!

So in order to prove
that you had gallstones,

your�plan�was�to�scan�yourself.

That's...

Lie back, please.

Okay, one, two, three...

We'll give it two minutes.

We're going to get you
on fluids, antihistamines,

and steroids to flush the
dye out of your system.

And then you should
start to feel much better

- if you want to go back to work.
- No, not like this.

Would you like me to let someone know?

I don't want anyone knowing
that I do this to myself.

Maybe calling psych wasn't
the worst idea in the world.

- Hey.
- Did you get it?

Uh-huh. Aren't you supposed
to be in bed on antibiotics?

Yeah, the infusion went through.
Is that for me? Can I see it?

You don't have to act like
a spy. They're your labs.

Yeah, my surgeon already
thinks I'm a problem.

But you know, I read his
review on "Rate My MD",

and one of his patients said that
he didn't go through the risks,

and another that he changed
course and she wasn't consented.

My white blood cell count is normal.

- That's good.
- If you're just gonna spit back

- out things I already know...
- Do you know?

Because you're not acting like somebody

who's relieved that they're good to go.

Or that they have an excellent surgeon.

Have you seen Bash? He was
supposed to talk to Devi for me,

but he never came back and I need
to know what she says before I...

- Before what?
- Before...

Before you go through with this?

- Are you trying to get out of it?
- No.

Mags.

I don't know.

Even if I was, it's
obviously out of my control.

Novak started a firestorm
and then he vanished.

And now Devi wants me to sell him out.

Which is... really not important

considering what you're
going through right now.

Please don't say it.

I'm just trying to help.

Yeah, well, you just...
you take it all for granted.

- What?
- Yeah, you're out of residency.

You've got everything you've
wanted right in front of you.

Meanwhile, the exact
date that I get the job

I nearly killed myself for,
I found out that this happens.

And if I say no to the transplant,

my dumb defective heart
that I was born with

could just give out at anytime.
Or maybe never, who knows!

And now, apparently, I'm
moving back in with my parents.

- You're moving out of my house?
- My mom, she rented a place

- behind my back, yeah.
- She's probably just trying to,

you know, help you not have to
worry about things and, like...

Why are you defending her?

You know, not all of us
have people just lining up

- trying to love us, Mags!
- June.

Uh,�your�hernia�patient.

He's come down, his heart rate's racing.

- And he's febrile...
- Um...

- Can you prep him for Trauma OR?
- Yeah.

Uh, Mags, is she okay?

No.

- Why don't you throw a bag over my head
and kidnap me this time! - Oh, c'mon.

We waited too long and now
he won't get in the chair.

Just relax.

Hartley, look at me.

The situation is serious.

Your hernia's strangulated and
a prolonged lack of blood flow

could cause organ failure or even death.

- So you do need the surgery.
- Not if it means

- I have to go under.
- Babe!

What happened to you
never feeling afraid again?

The drugs you forced on me wore off.

Why would you do that to me? How
could you think that would help?

I don't know. I couldn't
stand seeing you like that!

Oh, so you made it about you, huh?

No! I... God, why
couldn't we just do this

when he was feeling good?

Because that would have been a crime.

See Dell, why does literally
everyone understand that except you?

There must be some kind
of medicine we can try.

There isn't! You need to
face this like an adult.

- Get in the chair!
- Della, you can't...

Well, I can't watch him die!

Hartley, get in the damn chair!

- Never!
- Let's go!

- June, you need help here?
- Yeah.

He bit me!

She drugged me without my consent!

Alright, both of you
calm down right now.

Great.

Is he dead?

- Nope, just in shock.
- Good.

Can we do the surgery
before he wakes up?

The first time it happened
it was with my old chief, Dr. Bishop.

He saw me, he asked me to
go to therapy and it helped.

It�hasn't�happened�in�two�years.

Okay... I'm sure it's not been easy

experiencing that again.

I know, I should've stopped
seeing patients immediately,

but I really thought
I had it under control.

We get that feeling like
the walls are closing in,

sometimes, our instincts
betray us and...

create blind spots.

Thank you for telling me.

If there's anything you need...

Dr. Devi.

Hear me out about Mags again.

If she was the right person
before, she still will be after.

That's what you said last time, too.

Feeling any better?

A little.

Is Mac going to stop trying
to help me after what I said?

Because I don't feel
like that all the time.

No, Owen, definitely not.

But he's never going to
let me drive after this.

- Let me see your phone.
- Why?

Trust me. I'm not going
to read any of your texts.

Do you know about Kids Help Phone?

So in those moments when
you feel out of control

and you need someone to talk to or text,

it is totally anonymous

and someone's always there to respond.

My plan was to phase out at 65.

Barely anyone has room
in their practice anymore.

I feel like I'd be abandoning all
those people I've known for so long.

For some, it's not
bad, but kids like Owen,

they're the reason I wanted
to do this kind of work.

Hard to turn your back on a calling.

As long as I'm still
doing more good than harm.

I wrote up a letter for his licence.

- See what you think?
- You saw what happened today.

- If that happened on the road...
- There's risks, yeah.

But Owen is thinking about his
future which means he wants to live.

Look, it's your call, Mac.
But I think we should both sign it.

Hey, I got that note about the
statement you wanted me to sign.

Yeah, one of the
weirder incident reports

- I've had to fill.
- Yeah.

- How's our "biter?"
- Uh, apparently,

losing consciousness is a stroke of luck

because we are not
allowed to let you die.

So his hernia's fixed, and
now he's awake and he's happy,

and they are in love again.

What's that hair metal song called?

Uh... "Love hurts". Yeah.

Those guys knew.

That was an intense dad
voice you used earlier.

- How's Henry?
- Great.

Yeah? And... you?

You know, it's funny.

You and me were together all
that time and now we're just...

passing each other once
in a while in the hall.

I guess that's on me.

I feel really bad
about how I played that.

Actually, about how I've managed to
screw up most of my relationships.

Hey. Ours was on me, too.

No, it wasn't.

So what's supposed to happen next?

They'll be retrieving the
donor heart late tonight.

First thing in the
morning, we'll get going.

- Magalie.
- What if I can't do it?

Okay.

- Hi, Sam.
- Hi, June.

Just letting you know
that everything's in order,

so green light from our end

if you want to do your IUI tomorrow.

Thanks for not cancelling my surgery.

And�for�the�concerned�messages.

I'm glad you're back.

They're coming to shave my head.

What girl says no to that?

Do you have anyone with you?

My brother is on his way.

Hey.

Weird question, but it's
been that kind of day.

What did I say to you
that made you leave?

Made�me�leave�and�got�me�back.

You said it was okay to be scared.

That I just had to let myself
sit with that and really feel it.

And that somewhere, in all of this,

there's�a�way�to�find�the�light.

I'm here, Bash.

Say�what�you�want�to�say�to�me.

So many things have happened
to me that were out of my control.

Been thinking about
you bringing us here,

finding us in Crete and...

After I got me and my sister stuck...

- You wish you hadn't let me?
- No, not at all.

Elliot, you, opened your family to us.

Disappearing from
your life, that was me.

That was me being scared that
I'd never be able to build anything.

Trying to control it and
getting mad when I couldn't.

I'm sorry.

But what I wanted to do was
to thank you for that properly.

And to tell you that we wouldn't be

where�we�are�today�without�you.

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