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1
00:00:02,504 --> 00:00:04,504
♪
2
00:00:05,841 --> 00:00:08,291
Art lovers of springfield,
good news.
3
00:00:08,293 --> 00:00:10,969
The art museum
is closed forever!
4
00:00:10,971 --> 00:00:12,512
[scattered applause]
5
00:00:12,514 --> 00:00:15,640
Instead, our entire collection
will be digitized
6
00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:18,226
And sold for a fortune
on the blockchain
7
00:00:18,228 --> 00:00:22,189
As non-fungible tokens, or nfts.
8
00:00:22,191 --> 00:00:24,900
Whatever the hell those are.
9
00:00:24,902 --> 00:00:26,026
[chuckles]
10
00:00:26,028 --> 00:00:28,570
Now let's turn
some of our crappy art
11
00:00:28,572 --> 00:00:30,030
Into computer money.
12
00:00:30,032 --> 00:00:33,700
Starting with
a true masterpiece, my butt.
13
00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:36,161
[laughs]
14
00:00:38,373 --> 00:00:39,790
[whirring]
15
00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:40,874
Uh, dad?
16
00:00:40,876 --> 00:00:42,834
Ah! Technology!
17
00:00:42,836 --> 00:00:44,211
[phone chimes]
18
00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:47,756
I've lost bart forever!
19
00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:49,758
No!
20
00:00:51,512 --> 00:00:52,677
[cash register rings]
21
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:54,721
Yes!
22
00:00:57,601 --> 00:00:59,101
[whirring]
23
00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:02,229
Honey? Remember how
we're always saying
24
00:01:02,231 --> 00:01:04,147
We wish bart was less fungible?
25
00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:05,982
Did something happen to bart?
26
00:01:05,984 --> 00:01:07,275
Only the parts you can hug.
27
00:01:07,277 --> 00:01:10,195
The rest is alive,
right here on my phone.
28
00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:13,782
[yelps] my baby is an app!
29
00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:15,700
Uh, no, apps actually do stuff.
30
00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:17,035
He's an nft.
31
00:01:17,037 --> 00:01:19,121
-But look how much he's worth.
-[gasps]
32
00:01:19,123 --> 00:01:21,039
For bart? Hmm.
33
00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:23,959
Imagine what we'd get for lisa.
34
00:01:23,961 --> 00:01:27,254
He is the first nft
of an actual person.
35
00:01:27,256 --> 00:01:28,338
I don't care.
36
00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,549
We've got to find a way
to get him back.
37
00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:34,845
[hooded figure]
to do that, you, yourself
must enter the blockchain.
38
00:01:34,847 --> 00:01:36,054
Who are you?
39
00:01:36,056 --> 00:01:38,265
We are the enlightened
intellects
40
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:40,433
Who safeguard the crypto-verse.
41
00:01:41,478 --> 00:01:43,728
[homer]
kylie jenner, rob gronkowski,
42
00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,021
And jimmy fallon.
43
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:47,232
I thought you were
just celebrity shills.
44
00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:50,235
Ugh, we would never
promote a technology
45
00:01:50,237 --> 00:01:52,404
If we didn't understand
the distributed ledger
46
00:01:52,406 --> 00:01:53,488
Underpinning it.
47
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:54,573
Der!
48
00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:57,576
[laughs] I can't
stop laughing, buddy.
49
00:01:57,578 --> 00:01:58,702
[homer]
shut up.
50
00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:00,370
You ruined "cowbell."
51
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,584
This key is a back door
52
00:02:05,586 --> 00:02:08,503
Through the blockchain's
cryptographic protocol.
53
00:02:10,424 --> 00:02:12,924
Once you're inside, find bart
54
00:02:12,926 --> 00:02:14,968
And use it to get
both of you out.
55
00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:16,428
[grunts]
56
00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:18,638
[whirring]
57
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:24,436
Huh, so this is the blockchain.
58
00:02:24,438 --> 00:02:27,555
No, noob, this is
the block-train.
59
00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:31,193
Speeding forever through the loveless icy world
60
00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:32,944
Created by crypto-bros.
61
00:02:32,946 --> 00:02:36,281
Powered by the most abundant fuel in the universe:
62
00:02:36,283 --> 00:02:39,618
Fomo, the fear of missing out.
63
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:43,622
For a digital incarnation of an
abstract mathematical concept,
64
00:02:43,624 --> 00:02:45,540
It could use a good dusting.
65
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:48,710
[british accent]
well, that's because this is the
last car of the train, innit?
66
00:02:48,712 --> 00:02:52,380
The dwelling place of nfts
with no value.
67
00:02:52,382 --> 00:02:56,635
Which is 99% of all nfts
ever created.
68
00:02:56,637 --> 00:02:59,888
Huh, I guess being
the second-ever human nft
69
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:01,306
Isn't worth a whole lot.
70
00:03:01,308 --> 00:03:03,183
Where do they keep my son?
71
00:03:03,185 --> 00:03:05,602
[french accent]
at the very front of the train
72
00:03:05,604 --> 00:03:07,103
Where you can never go.
73
00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:08,396
Watch me!
74
00:03:09,024 --> 00:03:10,440
[grunts]
75
00:03:10,442 --> 00:03:13,235
[laughter]
76
00:03:13,237 --> 00:03:14,527
Whoa!
77
00:03:17,616 --> 00:03:21,368
[retching]
you killed ennui oeuf 116.
78
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:24,704
[whirring]
79
00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:29,125
Congratulations,
you've moved up the train
80
00:03:29,127 --> 00:03:31,503
Because you are now
as valuable as us,
81
00:03:31,505 --> 00:03:32,754
The cuddle kittens.
82
00:03:32,756 --> 00:03:34,839
Because you killed another nft.
83
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:36,800
What you call
mindless slaughter,
84
00:03:36,802 --> 00:03:38,802
Crypto-bros call "disruption,"
85
00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:40,470
And then pour cash into it.
86
00:03:40,472 --> 00:03:42,180
So, to rescue bart,
87
00:03:42,182 --> 00:03:44,349
I need to kill
a bunch of you guys.
88
00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:48,436
[popping]
89
00:03:50,482 --> 00:03:51,773
Ooh.
90
00:03:51,775 --> 00:03:53,817
Well, I guess I got to do this.
91
00:03:53,819 --> 00:03:55,402
[yowling]
92
00:03:56,071 --> 00:03:59,239
Sorry! Nothing personal!
93
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:06,121
Hope... You... Can't...
Feel... Pain. [grunts]
94
00:04:07,541 --> 00:04:08,790
[whirring]
95
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:30,520
[whirring]
96
00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:34,107
[lisa]
mom's price is skyrocketing!
97
00:04:34,109 --> 00:04:35,817
Look at the fomo!
98
00:04:35,819 --> 00:04:39,237
Now everyone's gonna
want human nfts.
99
00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:42,240
Dad, you said you were
taking me to bumper boats.
100
00:04:42,242 --> 00:04:45,285
I am. Uh, have
some more chocolate milk.
101
00:04:47,247 --> 00:04:50,665
No one is putting another child
into that scanner...
102
00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:52,584
Before mine.
103
00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:55,503
-[grunting]
-hey!
104
00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:56,713
[whirring]
105
00:04:58,342 --> 00:04:59,174
[gasps]
106
00:04:59,176 --> 00:05:01,718
Please kill ralph-house.
107
00:05:02,721 --> 00:05:04,054
[squishing]
108
00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:07,057
[whirring]
109
00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:12,437
The front of the train.
I made it.
110
00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:15,982
Bart! We're getting out of here!
111
00:05:15,984 --> 00:05:18,109
Whoa, mom, what's the rush?
112
00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:20,779
Grab yourself a jaded ape
and take a load off.
113
00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:23,573
You never like my friends.
114
00:05:23,575 --> 00:05:25,658
Mom's almost got bart out.
115
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:28,578
Don't let your son become
a worthless human again.
116
00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:30,121
Sell him to me
117
00:05:30,123 --> 00:05:32,582
-For $100 million.
-Hmm!
118
00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:35,377
No, dad!
If you sell bart to mr. Burns,
119
00:05:35,379 --> 00:05:38,254
He'll be trapped
on the blockchain forever.
120
00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:40,423
But this is my chance
not to miss out,
121
00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:42,342
After I've missed out
on everything.
122
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:44,636
The housing bubble,
the first tech bubble,
123
00:05:44,638 --> 00:05:47,305
The second tech bubble,
the current tech bubble.
124
00:05:47,307 --> 00:05:49,557
Just one time,
I want to be the guy
125
00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:52,102
That gives all his money
to bernie madoff!
126
00:05:52,104 --> 00:05:55,230
Mom, get out of there!
Dad's gonna crack!
127
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:09,369
He did it.
128
00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:11,037
I can't believe he did it.
129
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,456
[whirring]
130
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,625
-We made it.
-Where's homer?
131
00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:17,877
I want to tell him the inside
of his phone smells.
132
00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:20,004
He-he sold himself.
133
00:06:20,006 --> 00:06:22,006
He was so afraid of missing out,
134
00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:24,467
He tokened his own life.
135
00:06:24,469 --> 00:06:26,803
Woo-hoo!
136
00:06:26,805 --> 00:06:29,764
Eternity on
a super swanky train.
137
00:06:29,766 --> 00:06:32,517
Ooh, twerked chicken.
138
00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:37,105
[rumbling]
139
00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,940
What happened?
140
00:06:38,942 --> 00:06:41,776
Our fomo, it's gone.
141
00:06:43,989 --> 00:06:46,614
The nft craze is over.
142
00:06:46,616 --> 00:06:49,075
D'oh!
143
00:06:53,331 --> 00:06:56,207
[homer]ah, the romance of train travel.
144
00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:03,214
♪
145
00:07:03,216 --> 00:07:07,677
♪ and it's clearly to his credit ♪
146
00:07:07,679 --> 00:07:12,640
♪ that he is an englishman ♪
147
00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:14,934
♪ he remains ♪
148
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:19,063
♪ an eng ♪
149
00:07:19,065 --> 00:07:21,483
♪ lish... ♪
150
00:07:21,485 --> 00:07:23,985
Wait. Did you only
ask me to sing
151
00:07:23,987 --> 00:07:26,812
To forestall your gruesome end?
152
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,116
Guilty as charged. [laughs]
153
00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:33,453
-[bart grunting]
-[laughing]
154
00:07:33,455 --> 00:07:35,497
[screams]
155
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,374
Ha!
156
00:07:42,005 --> 00:07:44,172
It was only by
following my hunch
157
00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:46,341
That we found
the east side strangler
158
00:07:46,343 --> 00:07:48,551
On the west side of town.
159
00:07:48,553 --> 00:07:51,346
Can you explain how
you overcame childhood trauma
160
00:07:51,348 --> 00:07:54,307
To become the nation's most
renowned criminal psychologist?
161
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:57,185
For that story,
you'll have to read my book.
162
00:07:57,187 --> 00:07:59,646
-[school bell rings]
-[indistinct chatter]
163
00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:03,066
Office muntz.
164
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:04,943
Told you I'd smell you later.
165
00:08:04,945 --> 00:08:06,569
Been a long time.
166
00:08:07,531 --> 00:08:08,780
Ah, look at us.
167
00:08:08,782 --> 00:08:11,449
We thought we were
gonna stay young forever.
168
00:08:11,451 --> 00:08:13,117
Some of us did.
169
00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:16,246
Oh, right, like bart,
because he got murdered.
170
00:08:16,248 --> 00:08:17,914
Speaking of gruesome junk,
171
00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:19,874
We could use your help
on a case.
172
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:23,670
I'm flattered, but I'm the dean
of the true crime department.
173
00:08:23,672 --> 00:08:25,964
I can't just run off and--
174
00:08:25,966 --> 00:08:27,966
The killer left a message.
175
00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:30,635
And we think it's for you.
176
00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:32,679
♪
177
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,858
Maybe rod flanders
did grow up to become
178
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:48,611
A shockingly foul-mouthed
prop comedian,
179
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,572
But he didn't deserve this.
180
00:08:50,574 --> 00:08:53,116
Only a super-traumatized
profiler like you
181
00:08:53,118 --> 00:08:55,326
Can piece together
what happened here.
182
00:08:55,328 --> 00:08:56,286
Hmm.
183
00:08:56,288 --> 00:08:57,996
[breathes deeply, sighs]
184
00:08:57,998 --> 00:08:59,664
[lisa]
our killer took his time.
185
00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:01,165
Had fun with it.
186
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:03,001
Enjoyed a game of solitaire.
187
00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:05,336
Red king on a red queen?
188
00:09:05,338 --> 00:09:07,964
This psycho doesn't
play by the rules.
189
00:09:07,966 --> 00:09:09,507
Damn, she's good.
190
00:09:09,509 --> 00:09:11,426
Here, he had one
of those moments
191
00:09:11,428 --> 00:09:15,013
Where you walk into a room
and forget what you came in for.
192
00:09:15,015 --> 00:09:17,423
How did my guys miss that?
193
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:18,349
One more thing.
194
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:20,301
This killer won't stop now.
195
00:09:20,303 --> 00:09:22,020
There will be others.
196
00:09:22,022 --> 00:09:23,730
Sarge, there's been another.
197
00:09:27,861 --> 00:09:30,153
How can he also be the first?
198
00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:31,779
Sarge, we got another one.
199
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:34,282
[whistles]
200
00:09:34,284 --> 00:09:35,825
Boy, that's something
you don't see every--
201
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,410
One more, sarge.
202
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:40,163
Got another one, sarge.
203
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:41,873
The severed hand
opens the fridge,
204
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:43,750
Which tugs on that
strip of sinew,
205
00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:45,001
Turning over the eyeball cup,
206
00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:47,337
Which rolls down the spine,
startles a cat,
207
00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:49,505
Which leaps onto
the butter dish seesaw,
208
00:09:49,507 --> 00:09:51,716
And sends
the other eyeball flying,
209
00:09:51,718 --> 00:09:53,551
Turning on the coffee maker.
210
00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:56,888
Even I can't get inside
a mind this deranged.
211
00:09:56,890 --> 00:10:00,016
There's only one person who can.
212
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:02,852
[thunder rumbles]
213
00:10:02,854 --> 00:10:04,395
Little lisa simpson.
214
00:10:04,397 --> 00:10:06,064
You really made something
of yourself
215
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:08,191
After I made mincemeat
of your brother.
216
00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:09,609
Come to thank me?
217
00:10:09,611 --> 00:10:11,569
-No.
-Rude.
218
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:13,571
I don't have time
for your games, bob.
219
00:10:13,573 --> 00:10:14,614
I'm working on a--
220
00:10:14,616 --> 00:10:15,698
Yes, a case so confounding
221
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,575
You're actually willing
to seek my help.
222
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:20,870
The rube goldberg sherri
is actually quite impressive.
223
00:10:20,872 --> 00:10:22,163
Hat tip, psychopath.
224
00:10:22,165 --> 00:10:24,248
What about
the identical messages?
225
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:27,034
How can they all be "the first"?
226
00:10:27,036 --> 00:10:28,503
Really, professor simpson,
227
00:10:28,505 --> 00:10:31,172
Am I meant to spoon-feed you
all the answers?
228
00:10:31,174 --> 00:10:34,008
Speak in riddles or drop a clue
in a clever anagram
229
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,844
Hidden in something
I've just said right now.
230
00:10:36,846 --> 00:10:38,304
This is a waste of time.
231
00:10:38,306 --> 00:10:40,098
Perhaps a limerick will help.
232
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,016
There once was a shiny machete,
233
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:44,268
That turned poor bart's head
to spaghetti.
234
00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:46,771
You're gonna die
in that cell, bob.
235
00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:48,606
And when that happens,
236
00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:50,066
Wherever I am,
237
00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:52,068
I'll be dancing.
238
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:02,203
Can you think of anyone who
would've wanted to hurt sherri?
239
00:11:02,205 --> 00:11:05,081
No, everybody loved
my big sister.
240
00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:06,541
Big sister?
241
00:11:06,543 --> 00:11:07,875
You guys were twins.
242
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,461
Yes, but sherri was born first.
243
00:11:10,463 --> 00:11:14,799
Probably makes sense for you
to be my husband now, huh?
244
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:16,259
Sherri is the first.
245
00:11:16,261 --> 00:11:19,595
Rod flanders, dermott spuckler,
all firstborns,
246
00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:21,097
That's the pattern.
247
00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:22,890
And bob said something
about an anagram
248
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:24,726
Taking us to the killer's lair.
249
00:11:25,729 --> 00:11:27,603
[gasps] that's it.
250
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,566
[tires screech]
251
00:11:36,364 --> 00:11:37,530
[both gasp]
252
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:39,699
[clanging]
253
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:40,742
Stay here.
254
00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:44,203
[creaking]
255
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:47,415
Hey, meat hooks, hook meat much?
256
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,125
Ha-ha--
257
00:11:52,505 --> 00:11:53,880
Nelson?
258
00:11:53,882 --> 00:11:56,174
Nelson, where are you?
259
00:11:58,094 --> 00:12:00,303
[screams]
260
00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:02,597
[panting]
261
00:12:04,434 --> 00:12:05,725
[gasps]
262
00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:09,103
The killer's lair looks
just like my old bedroom.
263
00:12:09,105 --> 00:12:11,189
But how? Ooh.
264
00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:13,524
Maybe the killer's
on the security footage.
265
00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:18,863
No! It can't be!
266
00:12:18,865 --> 00:12:21,157
[grunts] freeze!
267
00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:22,283
-[handcuffs click]
-wha...?
268
00:12:22,285 --> 00:12:23,868
I can't be the killer!
269
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:26,412
I turned my trauma into healing!
270
00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:28,039
Oprah said so!
271
00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:29,707
[thunder rumbling]
272
00:12:29,709 --> 00:12:32,084
I'm sorry for the imbroglio,
but if the chef de cuisine
273
00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:34,754
Insists on calling it
taco tuesdays,
274
00:12:34,756 --> 00:12:36,756
He can't very well serve flautas
275
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,758
And expect us not
to make a fuss.
276
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,259
[door locks]
277
00:12:41,554 --> 00:12:43,137
Hello, bob.
278
00:12:43,139 --> 00:12:45,515
H-how did you get in here?
279
00:12:45,517 --> 00:12:47,850
Well, I knew if I killed
enough people
280
00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:50,102
In the most gruesome
possible ways,
281
00:12:50,104 --> 00:12:52,271
They'd send me to your prison.
282
00:12:52,273 --> 00:12:54,232
But to get into your cell?
283
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,275
I had a little help.
284
00:12:59,906 --> 00:13:01,447
Lisa the killer.
285
00:13:01,449 --> 00:13:03,324
I never thought
you had it in you.
286
00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:06,285
The lisa you knew didn't.
287
00:13:06,287 --> 00:13:08,579
But I'm another story.
288
00:13:08,581 --> 00:13:10,081
Oh, really?
289
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,958
Split personalities?
290
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,292
Trope alert!
291
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,753
Call the first thought police.
292
00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:17,839
Professor lisa had no idea
293
00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:19,674
She was my accomplice.
294
00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:24,846
But she's gone now.
295
00:13:24,848 --> 00:13:26,639
She was my last victim.
296
00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:29,642
Or, rather, second to last.
297
00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:31,769
The penultimate.
298
00:13:31,771 --> 00:13:33,479
[grumbles]
299
00:13:36,526 --> 00:13:39,026
♪ he remains an ♪
300
00:13:39,028 --> 00:13:42,154
♪ en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en ♪
301
00:13:42,156 --> 00:13:44,115
♪ en... ♪
302
00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:47,702
-[screaming]
-♪ ...Glishman. ♪
303
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,500
[munching]
304
00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:55,835
Simpson.
305
00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:57,753
No eating in the turbine room.
306
00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:59,130
Since when?
307
00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:04,051
Pfft. The nanny state
wins again.
308
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:06,137
No tanning in the reactor core,
309
00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:08,389
No texting while driving
and eating ribs.
310
00:14:08,391 --> 00:14:10,933
Can't even trim your hedges
with a machine gun.
311
00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:12,602
When did everyone get so scared?
312
00:14:12,604 --> 00:14:16,480
The world would be fine if
people just used common sense.
313
00:14:16,482 --> 00:14:17,648
Like me.
314
00:14:17,650 --> 00:14:19,108
Ah! Jailbreak!
315
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,749
Woman. Woman.
316
00:14:38,755 --> 00:14:42,006
Homer, one. Nanny state, zero.
317
00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:43,507
[munching]
318
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:47,094
[groaning]
319
00:14:47,096 --> 00:14:48,804
[gurgling]
320
00:14:48,806 --> 00:14:51,307
Stupid radioactive garbage donut
321
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:54,268
Mutating my dna while I sleep.
322
00:14:56,439 --> 00:15:00,316
Hey, who stole
my flanders's newspaper?
323
00:15:00,318 --> 00:15:01,567
Sorry about that, homer-ino,
324
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:04,654
But I-I whited out the crossword
after I did it,
325
00:15:04,656 --> 00:15:06,072
So you could enjoy it, too.
326
00:15:06,074 --> 00:15:07,949
[gurgling]
327
00:15:07,951 --> 00:15:10,201
-[belches]
-ah.
328
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:12,912
Better from the chimney
than the furnace, am I right?
329
00:15:12,914 --> 00:15:14,497
[laughs]
330
00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:15,831
[groans]
331
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:19,168
So, you see, there's nothing
in the bible that says
332
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:23,506
A pastor and his wife
can't take separate vacations.
333
00:15:23,508 --> 00:15:25,091
[grunts softly]
334
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:31,055
Daddy, are you being tickled
by the holy spirit?
335
00:15:31,057 --> 00:15:33,015
[gurgling]
336
00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:35,434
[moaning]
337
00:15:39,691 --> 00:15:43,567
[gasps] I've been neighborino'd
into home-diddly-omer.
338
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:47,571
[gasps] and why am I in church
when football is on?
339
00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:48,739
[all gasping]
340
00:15:48,741 --> 00:15:49,991
[belches]
341
00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:52,451
[terrified chatter]
342
00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:55,871
[all screaming, belching]
343
00:15:55,873 --> 00:15:57,707
[all groaning, grumbling]
344
00:15:58,835 --> 00:16:00,584
Kiss my ass, church-os.
345
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:05,214
I'm fat, I'm bald, and
I've never felt sexier, baby.
346
00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:08,300
-Why, you little...
-[choking]
347
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:09,844
Woo-hoo!
348
00:16:09,846 --> 00:16:12,013
[all belching]
349
00:16:13,808 --> 00:16:14,974
[belches]
350
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:20,021
[kent brockman over tv]
a mysterious afflictionhas descended upon springfield.
351
00:16:20,023 --> 00:16:23,107
Citizens of every age, race and catchphrase
352
00:16:23,109 --> 00:16:27,403
Are mysteriously transforming into bald, pear-shaped doofi.
353
00:16:29,032 --> 00:16:32,950
[sing-songy]
donut stu has diabetes type 2.
354
00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:34,702
[belches]
355
00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:38,372
News is stupid.
356
00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:39,999
Somebody put on wrestling.
357
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:41,876
Do all these burping baldos
358
00:16:41,878 --> 00:16:44,045
Remind you of anyone?
359
00:16:44,047 --> 00:16:46,338
I'd know that
butt scratch anywhere.
360
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,382
Everyone's turning into dad.
361
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:53,429
[screams]
362
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:56,807
[belching]
363
00:17:03,024 --> 00:17:07,818
Uh, children, your father's
less than stellar genetic code
364
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,946
Is spreading through
burp-borne transmission.
365
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,740
If we're going
to cure this virus,
366
00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:14,116
We need his dna.
367
00:17:14,118 --> 00:17:16,994
You three are the only ones
impervious to the virus.
368
00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:19,330
You have got to find him.
369
00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:21,540
Hmm. It is 11:30 in the morning.
370
00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:25,002
[indistinct chatter]
371
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,921
-Beer, moe.
-Beer, moe.
372
00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:28,214
A-beer, a-moe.
373
00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:29,632
Have you seen our dad?
374
00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:32,635
No, just these hundreds
of silly versions of him,
375
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:35,012
Which is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
376
00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:36,722
I mean,
I'm printing money over here.
377
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:37,890
[barking]
378
00:17:37,892 --> 00:17:40,601
Coming right up,
santa's little homer.
379
00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:43,854
Real dad wasn't at the
bowling alley, the candy store,
380
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:46,732
Or mocking the hippos
at the zoo.
381
00:17:46,734 --> 00:17:48,025
Wait.
382
00:17:48,027 --> 00:17:49,735
Dad ate a bucket
of this chicken last night.
383
00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:52,738
When that happens, where does he
always spend the next day?
384
00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:56,117
[homer]
I'll be out in a minute.
385
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:57,868
Um, is this really the most
386
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,620
Convenient bathroom
for your father?
387
00:17:59,622 --> 00:18:01,872
It's the closest one
mom will let him use.
388
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:05,042
Dad, we need you
to save the world.
389
00:18:05,044 --> 00:18:05,876
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
390
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,086
Can you believe some idiot
391
00:18:07,088 --> 00:18:10,005
Left this perfectly good
back scratcher in there?
392
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:12,550
Look, it goes all...
393
00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:14,635
The way... Down.
394
00:18:14,637 --> 00:18:16,470
[moans]
395
00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:17,429
What?
396
00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:21,517
Now, if you'll just board
the frink-ama-copter--
397
00:18:21,519 --> 00:18:23,727
-We're not calling it that.
-[grumbles]
398
00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:26,939
And then we'll pop your dna
in to the frink-tabulizer--
399
00:18:26,941 --> 00:18:28,724
We're not calling it that.
400
00:18:28,726 --> 00:18:31,068
[muttering]
401
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:33,529
And everything will go back
to the way it was.
402
00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:36,073
Wait. Hold on.
Why would I want that?
403
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,992
Finally, everyone thinks
the way I do.
404
00:18:37,994 --> 00:18:41,036
Nobody's making up stupid rules
about bicycle helmets
405
00:18:41,038 --> 00:18:42,538
Or where you can smoke cigars.
406
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:44,373
-You want to drive
without a seatbelt?
-[tires screech]
407
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:46,041
Facetime while jaywalking?
408
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,501
-Enjoy a sugary soda?
-[tires screech]
409
00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:50,129
Go ahead!
You're not hurting anyone!
410
00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:51,755
It's a utopia.
411
00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:53,507
No, a me-topia!
412
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:57,261
Yes, well, you don't really want
everyone to be like you.
413
00:18:57,263 --> 00:19:00,014
Earth-shattering reveal!
414
00:19:00,016 --> 00:19:01,140
[screaming]
415
00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:02,558
[chuckling à la homer]
416
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:06,103
When did insurance commercials
get so funny?
417
00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:08,397
[gasps] marge!
418
00:19:08,399 --> 00:19:10,399
Cooperating with us
is the only way
419
00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,985
To get your wife back to normal.
420
00:19:12,987 --> 00:19:16,405
You've never looked
more beautiful.
421
00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:18,699
[kissing]
422
00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:20,910
Scooch over, gorgeous.
423
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:22,286
When we get home,
424
00:19:22,288 --> 00:19:24,580
Let's you and I bump muzzles.
425
00:19:24,582 --> 00:19:28,209
Please. Please! If we don't have
some competent people left
426
00:19:28,211 --> 00:19:30,794
To run things,
society will collapse!
427
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:32,338
Coders to run the internet
428
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:34,632
That feeds you
the latest misinformation.
429
00:19:34,634 --> 00:19:37,927
Pilots to fly the planes
you need to be restrained on.
430
00:19:37,929 --> 00:19:40,054
I mean,
a world without experts--
431
00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:42,139
Does beaker ever shut up?
432
00:19:42,141 --> 00:19:44,016
[chuckles] good one, me-marge.
433
00:19:44,018 --> 00:19:45,517
Mm, well,
you leave me no choice.
434
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,686
I'm calling in
a nuclear air strike
435
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:51,065
To obliterate all
the homerized springfielders,
436
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,608
Including, very sadly,
437
00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:54,818
The touring company
of kinky boots.
438
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,071
Obliterating in three, two--
439
00:19:57,073 --> 00:19:58,405
Hey, you know what you need?
440
00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:01,492
A nice, relaxing scratch
on the back.
441
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:05,996
No! No! Oh, a lifetime
of study and education
442
00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:07,164
Down the... [groans]
443
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,832
[speaking gibberish]
444
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:11,168
♪ this must be just like ♪
445
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,671
♪ living in paradise ♪
446
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:19,635
♪ and I don't want to go home ♪
447
00:20:19,637 --> 00:20:21,136
[whoops]
448
00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:26,016
♪ this must be just like living in paradise ♪
449
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:28,811
-♪ just like paradise ♪
-[whoops]
450
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:31,772
♪ and I don't want to go home ♪
451
00:20:31,774 --> 00:20:32,773
[whoops]
452
00:20:32,775 --> 00:20:35,442
♪ and I don't want to go ♪
453
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:36,485
♪ this must be ♪
454
00:20:36,487 --> 00:20:40,155
♪ just like living in paradise ♪
455
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:42,241
[all belching]
456
00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:45,369
♪ and I don't want to go home. ♪
457
00:20:50,293 --> 00:20:54,211
Captioning sponsored by
20th century fox television
458
00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:58,424
And fox broadcasting company
459
00:20:58,426 --> 00:21:02,002
And toyota.
460
00:21:02,004 --> 00:21:06,432
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
461
00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:30,873
[belches]
462
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,667
[organ music plays]
31980
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