Original subtitles

[film reel clicking] [soft music]

[woman screams]

[frightening music]

[woman screams]

[static crackling]

[TV clicks]

[dramatic music]

[Andy laughing]

[static crackling]

[footsteps approaching]

[VHS player whirring]

[upbeat music]

Hi!

I'm Carla. [laughs]

Well, I'm 31 from California.

I like photography,

singing,

travel.

I love to travel.

I love to laugh.

So I'm guess I'm looking for someone

that's funny, who has a great sense of humor.

Oh, but most importantly,

he has to be strong and confident

and know exactly what he wants.

Someone who could rescue me

from a burning building, you know?

[Carla giggles]

But not just physically strong.

He has to be-

[VHS player whirring]

Hi, my name is Mary.

I'm from Portland

and this is Benedict.

Hi.

My name is Benedict

and I'm from the south of England

and I came to live-

[VHS player whirring]

Oh.

Oh!

Hi!

I'm Susan.

I'm from South Dakota.

Thanks for watching my tape.

This feels so cheesy.

But I guess if you're watching this

you're probably okay with cheesy, so.

I love movies.

Every kind of movie really.

Horror, sci-fi, romance.

Yeah, to me there's just nothing better

than snuggling up with your partner

and putting in a tape.

Yeah, I don't know.

There's just something about

that shared experience that I love

and so I'm looking for someone to...

Well, I'm looking for someone to share that with.

Um, yeah, someone who is kind, gentle, caring,

who will remind me that everything is going to be okay

and someone that will be there for me no matter what.

Oh, and he can't live in his parent's basement. [chuckles]

[soft music]

And his wife, Patsy.

They're part of a family ministry

that was inspired by God over 20 years ago

to develop a Christian interdenominational center

that has since developed into

the beautiful Singing River Ranch.

Glenn and his professional-

Mom, can I get you anything?

Hmm?

Do you want any lunch?

Macaroni.

Blessed that God has provided

one of the most magnificent settings

of pure Rocky Mountain beauty.

[lively instrumental music]

[Man On Television] Secretly recorded conversation.

[Woman On Television] Now I know that

I did not say what they're- [romantic instrumental music]

A mountain.

A mountain is many things.

Forests soaring free.

Rock in staggering shapes and sizes.

Water resting for a moment in little pools.

I can eat my own goddamn food.

Or pausing to nurture flowers

of myriad variety.

Mom.

[David sighs]

A mountain is weather in primitive form.

Goddamn it, Frank!

Mom, I'm David.

I know damn well who you are.

[soft music]

Here.

Let me help.

Please.

Striking the nearest

of the Earth's surfaces.

It's okay.

The mountain is life in beautiful form.

Yeah, that a girl.

[eerie music]

[saw whirring]

It is February 20th, 1962

and today, if all goes well,

the men here will launch an American astronaut

into orbit around the world

in a spacecraft which he- [vacuum whirring]

Views around the world

on three continents and on islands,

in ships and planes

and lands where it's summer and tomorrow is near.

He lands where it is winter

and his day is just beginning.

[Little Boy On TV] Wow!

So pick up a handful

of good old Rock Creek Park dirt.

It might have come all the way from Africa.

[Little Boy On TV] Wow!

Or it might have come from

the bottom of the sea.

[Little Boy On TV] Wow!

Hey, can I come back tomorrow?

I'm gonna bring all my friends.

[phone beeping] [lively instrumental music]

[phone ringing]

[Phone Menu Operator] Welcome to Video Rendezvous.

If you have a touch tone phone press one

to speak to your Rendezvous specialist.

If you have a rotary phone, dial seven.

Thank you for calling Video Rendezvous.

This is Diane.

How can I help you?

Hi, Diane.

It's me, David.

I was wondering-

May I have your Rendezvous ID number, please?

Oh, right.

Yeah, it's 159017.

Great.

Just give me a moment to pull up your Rendezvous profile.

[soft rock music]

Here we are.

And what can I do for you today?

Yeah, I was wondering if I've had

any matches since last time I called.

Hmm, I'm sorry, sir,

but it looks as though no one has requested

to connect with you yet.

Oh.

Is it common for matches to take this long?

Well, it's not uncommon.

Finding the right person isn't an exact science.

However, [papers rustling],

I'm seeing here that you haven't

updated your video profile in about six months.

Perhaps it's time for you to come back down

and record a new one.

Getting a fresh tape into circulation can help.

Mom, I gotta run a quick errand.

I'll be gone for about an hour.

You be okay here?

Great.

That's our news for now.

Thanks for watching.

We'll see you tonight

at 10:00 o'clock for the late edition.

[bright music]

Well, alrighty.

Sit up nice and tall.

Shoulders back.

Why don't you give us your best smile?

I can do this.

I can do this.

Okay, okay.

Ready.

[David clears throat]

Hi.

I'm David.

I'm 40 years young. [laughs]

And um...

Shoot, I'm just gonna come right out and say it.

I live with my mother.

She's 73.

She has dementia

and she needs 24 hour care.

But I like being there for her

'cause, well I like being a caregiver.

I think I've always had an inclination

to care for others because of my father.

He believed that we should all be kind to each other,

that without kindness,

the world would get nowhere.

So, I'm hoping to find someone to share that with.

Someone I can care for.

Someone who could care for me.

Someone I can give myself to completely.

I'm looking for a deep connection

based in love and mutual respect

and ultimately, in happiness.

So, if you're out there watching this

and you feel the same way,

gosh, I'd love to meet you,

whoever you are.

Alrighty.

Good job.

The only problem is these videos

are only about 30 seconds long.

So why don't you try it again

and keep it within that 30 second time frame?

30 seconds?

The tapes I've watched seem much longer than that.

Women get more time than the men do.

Men only typically get about 30 seconds

just because there's a hell of a lot more guys

that come in here than girls.

Oh, that makes sense.

Okay.

Hi, I'm David.

I'm 40 years old and I live with my mother

who has dementia.

I'm looking for someone to take care of me.

I like taking care of women.

I mean, so we can take care of each other.

We can um...

Kindness is really important to me.

I think the world should be a better place.

Loneliness is... [suspenseful music]

Uh...

I really wanna meet someone, anyone really,

who's out there that might wanna meet me.

And cut.

Hey, that was fantastic.

You are a real catch.

You're gonna make some girl very happy someday.

Next!

Great!

So, there's your card back

and I'll just need your signature right there.

You know, in case you're ever famous someday. [laughs]

I have some women from my last set of tapes

that I'd like to try and match with.

Oh, great.

Great, well I'll get these submitted for you.

But, in the meantime,

I've got a whole new slew of great new videos

picked out just for you.

Let's see. There's Karen from Ohio.

She's a writer.

And then I've got Sarah.

She's a doctor, very successful.

And then I've got-

I'll take the set.

Thank you.

Wonderful.

And, you know, I've been thinking,

have you tried to match me with anyone-

Thank you for calling Video Rendezvous.

This is Diane. How can I help you?

Uh-huh.

Oh, uh-huh.

[Diane laughs]

Right.

Oh. [tense music]

Uh-huh.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Right, right.

[Diane laughs]

[Diane snaps]

[soft rock music]

Right, right.

[credit card swiper thuds]

[static buzzing]

[tense music]

Hi! I'm Andy.

Thanks for being here today.

Well, let's cut to the chase.

I'm here to be your friend.

How's that sound?

All right, that's great!

Well, I am excited.

I am really excited.

I mean, I gotta be honest with you here,

I have been waiting for this moment

for what feels like forever.

And gosh, I am just so pleased

that you decided to take this journey with me.

We're gonna get to know each other.

We're gonna talk about whatever you want.

But more than anything,

we're gonna have some fun.

And hopefully it's the start

of a beautiful relationship.

What do you say?

[fire alarm beeping]

I know, I know.

[David sighs]

Mom.

Mom!

Mom, are you okay?

Goddamn pice of shit door!

Here, here.

Let me.

Easy.

Easy, easy.

[Lucille groans]

[fan whirring]

Hey, Mom, what the heck were you doing?

I wanna go on a fucking walk.

Okay.

I mean, what were you...

Hey.

Let's watch a movie.

[David sighs]

Hmm.

[tense music]

[sirens wailing]

Wow!

I don't believe you.

Man, they always say friendships

are full of surprises but boy!

[lively instrumental music]

Here we go, Mom.

Oh!

I just love this movie.

Frank and I took David to see this movie

when he was a baby.

My sweetie David didn't make a peep.

He watched the whole movie.

Of course, I could never get tired of it either.

Cary Grant.

I swell up just looking at him.

[David coughs]

Well, I can't say I feel the same way about Cary Grant.

But this movie always made me think of my mom.

She loved it too.

Somebody must've stolen one of his crown jewels.

Shall we announce you?

Oh, no, no. I'll blow my own horns.

Bruce, you'd better wait here.

I'll be back in 10 minutes.

Even 10 minutes is a long time

to be away from you.

What did you say?

What?

Well- Go on.

[Bruce laughs]

Go ahead.

I just said that even 10 minutes

is a long time to be away from you.

I heard you the first time. I like it.

That's why I asked you to say it again.

[gentle music]

I can stand being spoiled a little.

The gentleman I'm going to have a chat with

did very little spoiling.

All right, here we go, Mom.

Easy.

There you go.

[Lucille grunts]

That's it.

Goodnight, Mom.

Goodnight, sweetie.

It's David.

[clock ticking]

[VHS player whirring]

Hi! I'm Andy.

Thanks for being here today.

Well, let's cut to the chase.

I'm here to be your friend.

How's that sound?

Oh, that sounds great, Andy.

All right, that's great!

Well, I am excited.

I am really excited.

I mean, I gotta be honest with you here,

I have been waiting for this moment

for what feels like forever.

And, gosh, I am just so pleased

that you decided to take this journey with me.

We're gonna get to know each other.

We're gonna talk about whatever you want.

But more than anything,

we're gonna have some fun.

And hopefully, it's the start of a beautiful relationship.

What do you say?

Sounds fucking weird, Andy.

Now, now, listen.

I know what you're thinking.

I know.

And hey, this is a little weird for me too

'cause I've never done this either.

So it's totally new for me.

It's new for both of us.

But I guess that just means we're in this together, right?

You've got my back and I've got yours.

All right!

So, let's just dive right in.

Oh, where to start?

I know!

What is your name?

Fuck you. That's my name.

Oh. Yes!

You know, your face totally says that.

I can totally see it.

Well, it's really nice to meet you.

Where are you from?

I was born in Lakewood

but I live in Denver with Mom.

Oh, what a beautiful area.

You know, I have a friend from there.

Yeah, it really is great.

Hey, can I take a look at your place?

Uh, sure. Cool.

Whoa.

Whoa!

Nice digs.

Did you decorate everything yourself?

Most of this stuff's my mom's.

I think it looks great.

You, you have got good taste, pal.

Okay, so let me tell you

a little bit about myself.

I'm from Davenport.

I'm unemployed at the moment

but it's fine though.

I have got lots of ideas

on where to go from here.

Do you work?

I have to stay at home

and take care of my mom.

But we do just fine on her social security.

I hear you, man.

I hear you.

Did you know I lived at home most of my life?

Yeah, it was tough.

Especially when you have parents like mine.

Like, you know the type, right?

Overbearing and demanding,

nothing's ever good enough.

My mom...

I love her but she was a battle ax, I'll tell you.

She used to spank me so hard.

One time she spanked me so hard

I threw up on the carpet.

And it was unbelievable what they got away with back then.

Amen, brother.

It's a wonder I didn't turn out

to be some sort of disturbed maniac.

[David and Andy laugh]

Anyway, listen.

I am just totally rambling on over here.

What were your parents like?

Well my Dad, Frank, was a jazz musician actually.

They used to call him FDR.

He was on Carson once.

He was on the road a lot.

So mostly it was just me and my mom.

And she had-

No kidding?

Moms are so interesting, aren't they?

It sounds like you got one of the good ones.

[gentle chiming music]

[lawn mower whirring]

[phone ringing]

[projector clicking]

[glass shatters]

Shut up.

[David sighs]

Right now live and in the midst

with your favorite DJ.

Good afternoon.

[smooth music]

Hi David.

This is Diane from Video Rendezvous.

I'm calling with good news.

Our dating specialists

have been hard at work for you here

and have come up with a perfect match.

Her name is Lisa

and I think you'll really like her.

She saw your video and said you were quote,

"Adorable."

So, if you wanna come down to the studio

and get your information packet, her tape,

and then we can go from there.

Call me back soon.

Bye!

Hey Mom, I gotta run a quick errand.

Will you be okay here for a bit?

Pick me up some fresh hand towels.

Frank threw all the good ones away.

[door slams]

[upbeat music]

Well hi, David.

Great to see you again so soon.

I should say the same about you.

Well, here is the tape

and the write up on Lisa.

Very exciting.

I think you two will match up wonderfully.

Thank you so much for this.

I can't wait to meet her.

It's my pleasure, David.

It's what I do. [chuckles]

Um. [clears throat]

Oh, right.

Uh-oh.

Oh no.

I was in such a rush to get over here

I must've left my wallet.

Oh no.

That's so unfortunate.

I'll run home and get my card

and I'll be right back.

Uh-uh-uh.

Oh, right.

I'll be right back, I promise.

I promise.

[upbeat music continues]

Isn't he? [laughs]

It's the hair, I think.

Okay, have a great time.

Bye.

Hi, David.

What's wrong?

That was Lisa.

She just matched with someone else.

I'm sorry, David.

These things move quick sometimes.

Well, can I at least see

what I'm missing out on?

Uh-uh.

[credit card swiper thudding]

[phone ringing]

Great. So there's your card back.

And I'll just need your signature right there.

You know, in case you're ever famous someday.

[tense music]

Hi.

I'm Lisa.

Oh man, this is so strange.

I've never done this before.

Well, I'm from Denver.

I really enjoy arts and crafts, reading.

I read a lot of books.

And I listen to jazz music.

That's my favorite.

Oh, I should mention that I'm a caregiver.

I went to nursing school in college

and now I work part time as a hospice nurse.

On the weekends I like to volunteer

at my local nursing home.

I found that I really enjoy spending time

with the people there.

They get very lonely

and they don't have many people left

to come and see them.

So, it's a good feeling to give them

the friendship and companionship

that they deserve.

These people are so interesting.

They have histories and backgrounds

that are so layered and textured

and it's just wonderful to explore that together with them.

Oh gosh, sorry.

I'm rambling on.

It's so weird with all the lights

and camera and everything.

Well, anyway, whoever you are out there,

I hope to meet you soon.

Sure you wanna quit?

Now Bruce, what do you mean?

Well, I mean if there's any doubt about it

or if there's anything that...

No, this is your chance to have a home

and to be, like you said, a human being

and I'm gonna make you take that chance.

Certainly.

Why, I wouldn't let her stay.

Open, Mom.

Mom, open.

Yeah, all she ever wanted was a home.

Well, I'll certainly try to give her one.

I know you will, Bruce.

Where are you gonna live? Albany.

Albany, huh? You got a family up there then?

No, just my mother.

Just your mother, huh?

Oh, you're gonna live with your mother?

Well, just for the first year.

Oh, well that will be nice.

Yes, yes.

A home with mother.

In Albany too.

[dog barking]

I hear you, man.

I hear you.

Did you know I lived at home most of my life?

Yeah, it was tough.

And especially when you have parents like mine.

Like you know the type, right?

Overbearing and demanding,

nothing's ever good enough.

My mom...

I love her, but she was a battle ax, I tell you.

She used to spank me so hard.

One time she spanked me so hard

I threw up on the carpet.

And it was unbelievable what they got away with back then.

Amen, brother.

It's a wonder I didn't turn out

to be some sort of disturbed maniac. [laughs]

[David chuckles]

Anyway, listen.

I am just totally rambling on over here.

What were your parents like?

My dad was a jazz musician.

He died 10 years ago

and I've been taking care of my mom

with dementia ever since.

No kidding?

Moms are so interesting, aren't they?

But it sounds like you got one of the good ones.

You're luckier than the rest of us.

Well, I mean, she was a lot better

before her mind went. Yeah. Yeah.

But she's always been pretty hard on me.

Tell me more about that.

I mean, sometimes it was the switch.

Sometimes it was a belt.

But mostly it was just with words.

[phone rings]

Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, you were saying.

Uh.

[phone rings]

I'm so sorry about that.

Don't worry. It's fine.

They can try later.

I wonder why they keep interrupting us?

But please, please.

One time I got in trouble

for breaking a fresh carton of eggs.

Mom hit me so hard with a yardstick

that it snapped in half, broke the skin.

Oh, wow.

That sounds like a tough time, pal.

I'm sorry to hear about that.

Thanks.

Hey, now I don't know about you

but this is really bumming me out.

So, how about we talk about something fun?

Okay, do you have a girlfriend?

Oh.

Oh.

Ah, shoot. I'm sorry, man.

I shouldn't have brought it up.

No, no.

I just, I've been doing this

video dating service for like six months

and I finally got a match today

but I fucked it up.

You know, I can relate to that.

I really can.

Okay, so one time I had a blind date all lined up.

It was for my senior prom.

So, my buddy and I are going

to pick them up at a friend's house.

You know what happened?

The girl tells me she's sick

and she has to skip the dance.

So I had to go by myself.

But it's fine.

Like, I don't mind being lonely.

I mean, it's not like I'm gonna

be alone forever or something, right?

So here I am.

I'm at this stupid prom alone, standing in the back

and who do I see dancing with Curtis Millegan?

Who?

My date!

Ugh!

That lying hag!

It was unbelievable.

Do you know what I did next?

What?

[laughs] Good guess, but no.

I blew my fucking top at her.

Like in front of everyone.

I was yelling so loud

they had to stop the music

and bring in the chaperones.

Whoa.

My buddy had to come over and calm me down

before I started hitting people.

[David laughs]

It was unreal.

But my friend said something to me that night

that I'll never forget.

He said, "Andy, my man, you didn't miss out

on a date with her.

She missed out on a date with you.

So forget about her.

You are entitled to the things you want."

He straightened my collar,

he patted me on the shoulder,

and we ended up having

one of the most fun nights of our lives together.

Dancing and drinking, just going crazy.

Oh man, it was great.

Besides, I got what I wanted from her eventually.

So everything worked out.

Anyway, after that night

I'm always reminded of my friend

and how he was there for me

when I was down and out.

That's what friends are for.

To be there for each other

when all the chips are down.

And that's why I'm here for you, pal.

It reminds me of a saying.

Sometimes you don't realize your own strength

until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.

So forget that girl.

We don't need her.

We have each other.

Now let's have a good time.

How about a drink?

All right.

[easygoing music]

To friendship.

To friendship.

[easygoing music]

[VHS player whirring]

Hi! I'm Andy.

Thanks for being here today.

Well, let's cut to the chase.

I'm here to be your friend.

How's that sound?

Sounds wonderful, Andy.

So, um, what's your name?

Nice to meet you, Andy.

I'm David.

Yeah.

You know, your face, your face just says that.

Whoa.

Hey, nice digs.

Did you decorate everything yourself?

I hear you, man.

I hear you.

And especially when you have parents like mine.

You know this type.

Overbearing, demanding.

Nothing's ever good enough.

Well, what next?

Well, what do you say to a game?

Yeah.

Um, how about-

Go Fish. How about Go Fish?

This'll be fun, I promise.

I've got just the thing.

I'll tell you my best joke.

Stop me if you heard this one.

An old man goes to the doctor for some tests.

Do you have any fours?

No, go fish.

[laughs] All right!

All right, one's better than nothing.

Okay, your turn.

He gets the results.

The doctor tells him that he has bad news.

Do you have any fives?

No. Sorry.

Go fish.

The old man says, "Just give it to me straight, Doc."

Two sevens!

All right!

It must be my lucky day.

The doctor says, "Well, you have cancer

and you have Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "I guess it could be worse.

I could have cancer."

[Andy laughs]

[David laughs]

Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on.

We are having way too much fun.

[phone rings]

Sorry about that.

I have to commemorate it with a photo.

To friendship.

To friendship.

Nothing like a little friendly competition, right pal?

That's right, pal.

To friendship.

To friendship.

You ready?

To friendship.

To friendship.

Wow!

[camera clicks]

Ugh, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

I don't believe you!

I don't believe you!

I don't believe you!

I don't believe you!

Man, they always say friendships are full of surprises

but, boy, that one,

that really really took me by surprise.

I'll tell you what,

I bet you're full of surprises.

Hi! I'm Andy.

I'll tell you what.

Thanks for being here today.

I bet you're full of surprises, aren't you?

Let's cut to the chase.

I'm here to be your friend.

How's that sound?

To friendship.

Nothing like a little friendly competition, right pal?

Overbearing, demanding,

nothing's ever good enough.

To friendship.

To friendship.

All right! Yeah!

Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on.

We are having way too much fun.

I have to commemorate it with a photo.

I'm always reminded of my friend

and how he was there for me

when I was down and out.

Okay, ready?

[camera clicks]

That's what friends are for.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.

To be there for each other.

[phone rings]

When all the chips are down.

Sorry about that. [David laughs]

It's no wonder I didn't turn out

some disturbed maniac.

I wonder why they keep interrupting us.

That's why I'm here for you, pal.

[David crying]

Okay, ready?

I can't wait to see how it turns out.

[sirens wailing]

[Andy sighs]

This is great.

Well, I've got an idea.

How about you tell me

the most embarrassing story from your childhood?

No, you don't wanna hear that.

It's awful.

Yes I do!

Come on. Just tell me.

No. Please?

No.

No, thank you. Please?

Okay. Okay.

[soft music]

It was sixth grade

and there was this girl I had a crush on.

Jackie.

She was so beautiful.

Anyway, one day I decided to write her a love note.

I passed it to her in class.

I guess she liked it

because after she read it,

she looked up at me and smiled.

But a couple other kids must've saw the exchange

because they started writing her notes too.

I wanna kiss you all over.

I wanna have sex with you.

Let's make babies together.

And they would sign my name on the notes

and then they'd slip them into her cubby

and into her lunchbox and her homework.

Then the notes got worse.

I sneak into your room at night.

I wanna sniff your panties.

A teacher found one of the notes

and I got in trouble.

Jackie knew it wasn't me

but she never spoke up about it.

I got suspended for three days

for inappropriate behavior.

Mom wasn't too happy about that one.

I never even looked at Jackie after that.

Actually, I never really talked to anyone

after that happened.

Wow.

Pal.

That's not embarrassing.

It's not?

No, it's fucking sad!

[Andy laughs]

All right now.

All right, all right.

I'm just giving you a hard time.

Come on, friends do that.

Come on.

Come on. I was only joking.

You're a dick sometimes.

Wow.

I don't believe you.

Man, they always say friendships are full of surprises.

But, boy, I mean that one,

that really really took me by surprise.

I'll tell you what.

I bet you're full of surprises, aren't you?

But anyway, your story isn't nearly as embarrassing as mine.

I doubt it but go ahead.

All right.

All right.

[Andy clears throat]

So, take yourself back to 1976.

That's my freshman year of college.

I had a great dorm room situation.

My roommate and I had our own rooms

separated by a bathroom in the middle.

You know the kind with a door at either end, right?

Well, this meant we could be loud in our rooms

without disturbing each other.

What, you mean like loud music?

Not loud music, silly.

Loud sex.

We could pretty much be as loud as we wanted.

Well, fast forward to when I met Pamela.

[Andy sighs]

Pamela.

Pamela.

Oh boy, was she something.

She had a great ass.

Yeah.

Great tits.

These big perfect lips.

Well, we are in my room one night

and things are getting pretty hot and heavy.

So, there I am on the edge of the bed.

Pamela is straddling me.

She's wearing black stockings

and only black stockings.

[David sighs]

She slides me inside her.

She starts slow at first.

Starts moving up and down on top of me.

Her huge tits are right in my face.

I'm sure you can imagine.

It was so hot.

Yeah.

She starts to go faster.

Just bouncing up and down on top of me.

She kept asking, "Do you like fucking me?"

She is getting louder and louder.

"Fuck me, baby!

Fuck me, baby!

Fuck me, David!

Fuck me, David!"

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, boom!

Frank!

[David gasps] [Andy laughs]

Busted! Mom, what are you doing?

You were masturbating!

Mom, you're supposed to knock!

You should be

ashamed of yourself! Jerking off!

Is that how you honor your wife?

By indulging in self-pollution?

I'm not- You're disgusting, Frank!

I'm David.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Frank.

My name is David.

That's why they call you Filthy Frank!

Frank is dead!

Do you fucking hear me?

He has been dead for a long time!

He killed himself!

Don't you fucking remember, stupid!

He killed himself!

My name is David!

I'm your son

and I'm all you have left.

[soft piano music] That was so fucked up.

Frank is dead?

Yes!

Frank.

[Andy laughs]

Frank.

No, no, no, no. Frank.

No no no no no, Mom.

No no no, Mom.

It's okay. It's okay.

[Lucille sobs] It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Shh.

Shh.

How could you leave me like this?

You promised you'd get help.

He didn't leave.

Frank's here.

He's right here.

He's always right here with us.

Gay!

[static crackling]

He's fine.

Frank, Frank's coming back real soon.

He's recording at the studio today.

Yeah, his new album comes out in the spring

and he's just got a lot of work to do.

Oh.

I must have forgot.

Yeah.

It's his big debut.

Everyone will finally get to hear his music.

David?

Yes. [laughs]

It's me.

I'm right here, Mom.

I'll always be right here.

David. Yes?

I soiled myself.

[insects chirping] [dog barking]

[clock ticking]

[water splashing] [soft music]

[phone ringing]

This is David.

Hi David.

This is Diane from Video Rendezvous.

Oh, hi Diane.

It's late.

I'm so sorry.

I'm working late.

I didn't realize what time it was.

No, no.

It's okay.

What can I do for you?

I wanted to let you know that I heard from Lisa.

You did?

Get this.

Turns out the person she ended up matching with

didn't work out.

So I sent her your tape again.

You did?

Honestly, your tape was terrible.

But apparently the cameraman had to do it twice?

Yeah, that's right.

Right.

So I just went back and used the first try.

Too long but much better.

Anyway, she watched it and well, she can't wait to meet you.

Are you available Thursday evening?

Um, yeah.

I think I can make that work.

Wonderful.

You know the Skate Land in Aurora?

Be there at 7:00.

Thank you, Diane.

Thank you so much.

It's my pleasure, David.

Let me know how it goes.

[phone clicks]

[suspenseful music]

Yes!

[car beeping]

[upbeat music]

David?

Lisa.

Hi. Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Um, oh!

This is for you.

Oh, thank you!

How sweet.

Should we go inside or?

Right.

After you.

[sirens wailing]

Thank you.

[upbeat music continues]

All right Skate Land.

[people chattering]

I liked your tape.

Oh God.

It was so awful.

The camera guy had me do it twice

because I was just rambling on.

I didn't think you were rambling.

You seemed nervous like any other person would.

It's a wonder people end up

meeting from those things.

It's so unnatural to be in front of the camera like that.

Maybe.

But I like to think you get a good sense of a person

when they're vulnerable like that.

Well then you got a really good sense of me then, huh?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

Shall we?

Okay. [chuckles]

Well I'd say you've heard enough of me blabbering.

It's that special time in the night.

It's group skate time.

Why don't you grab the hand of that special someone tonight

and lead them on out to the-

[David yelps] Oh my God!

"Well, you have Alzheimer's and cancer."

And the old man says "Well, it could be worse.

I could have cancer."

[Lisa laughs]

Oh, that's great.

Where did you hear that one?

Just a friend of mine.

Sorry.

Just habit.

I imagine it's from taking care of your mother so well.

Well, she has good days

and she has bad days.

But the scales seem to be tipping

to the bad days lately.

How old is she again?

73.

Wow.

Good for her.

So, it's a full-time job then?

Yeah.

I basically have to stay with her at home all the time.

But we get enough from social security to manage.

And where is she tonight?

The Senior Center.

It's basically daycare.

I have to take her there

anytime I'm gonna be gone

for longer than an hour or two.

It makes it really hard to get out and meet people

because I can't afford to do it very often.

Well, it sounds like you're doing your best

which is all that matters.

In my line of work I'm constantly seeing much worse.

Abuse, malnutrition.

You'd be surprised how many people get arrested

for neglecting a loved one.

I'm sure if things were clear for her

she'd be very thankful to have you around.

Thanks.

I mean, I hope so.

I just hope she's happy.

I'm gonna need those tots back.

So how are you?

I'm okay.

I'm just a little sore.

Oh, no.

I mean are you happy?

Oh.

Well, it's not about me.

I mean, maybe someday when she passes,

but until then she's my responsibility.

But you could still be happy.

Don't I seem happy?

It may sound selfish to some

but when someone has to be a caregiver

their lives go on hold, you know, everything stops.

And it's fine at first.

They can handle it.

But after long enough, things can change.

On hold becomes the new normal

and it's common for that to turn into resentment.

Resentment?

I don't resent her.

[glass thuds]

[whistle blares]

Listen, David.

I am not saying that you do.

All I'm saying is that everyone deserves

a little time away from their responsibilities.

They deserve balance.

They deserve the things that they want.

I'm sure she'd want that for you, right?

I've never really thought about it like that.

Balance?

Balance just seems impossible at this point.

Well, maybe someone will come around

that can help you out a little.

You just need to open yourself up to it.

[pleasant music]

You wanna hang out tomorrow night?

Absolutely.

I'd love to.

[soft music]

Oh, do you have a pen?

Um, yeah.

Thanks. [giggles]

Okay, thanks.

All right.

Bye. Bye.

Boom!

[David laughs]

Yes!

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Yeah!

[David screams]

Yeah!

Yes!

Yeah!

Yes!

[car engine revs]

Wow, Mom.

That's beautiful.

That's going right up on the fridge.

Come on.

All right, through here.

Here we go. Here we go.

All right.

There's one foot.

Two foot.

And upsie daisy.

[Lucille grunts]

I know, I know.

There you go, Mamma.

Aw.

You're leaving?

Okay.

Well, I guess all good times must come to.

Come on, come on.

All the juicy details.

I have to know the story.

Give me all the juicy details.

Go on, go on.

You have to tell me the story.

I want all the juicy details.

Go on, go on.

You have to tell me the story.

I want all the juicy details.

Go on, go on.

You have to tell me the story.

I want all the juicy details.

Andy, I had the most incredible date.

Her name was Lisa and she's perfect!

Go on, go on.

She's cute and she's funny

and she's a caregiver.

She basically went to college

to learn how to take care of people like Mom.

Oh, oh.

We clicked immediately.

She totally understands my situation.

She gets me.

She gets you?

Yeah.

After one date, huh?

Well, she must really be something.

Well, yeah.

I mean, we have a lot in common.

Like I can tell her anything.

We've already made plans for tomorrow.

I mean, you just met this girl.

Yeah, but she's like-

So, so that's it then?

There's no more you and me?

No, Andy.

That's not what I meant.

I thought we could tell each other everything.

I thought we were best friends.

We can.

We are.

I mean, what does she have that I don't have?

Well-

Well, that shouldn't matter.

Our friendship, our connection,

like that's real, pal.

That's as real as it gets.

You expect me to believe

that this girls knows you better than I do?

No, that's not what I meant.

Don't be stupid.

You're just drunk with infatuation

for some cute girl.

She's clouding your judgment, pal.

But I thought friends could tell each other anything?

I am your friend.

I care about you.

I will always be there for you.

Andy, that's not what I meant.

Can't you see?

She's already coming between us.

Friends, remember?

They have to be there for each other

no matter what.

Plus, we had plans for tomorrow.

We did?

Oh, you forgot?

Of course.

We were gonna play cards.

You said you wanted to play Go Fish.

I guess I did forget.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Go on your date.

This is obviously what's more important to you anyway.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

You are important to me, Andy.

You are.

I'm sorry.

Hey, look, look.

I'll call her tomorrow and reschedule.

Okay, I didn't realize that we had plans.

I made a mistake, okay?

You would do that for me?

I'd do anything for my best friend.

There he is.

That's my guy.

I'm really sorry.

And I forgive you.

Pals?

Pals.

[soft music]

Liability limitations

from five million dollars cash.

That means instead of cutting off

all debt on that combination.

Don't even make 'em hard anymore.

Insurance limit to 10 million.

[dog barking] [eerie music]

[eerie music drowns out TV]

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Lisa.

Hi, it's David.

Oh, hi.

I'm so glad you called.

Lisa, I'm really sorry but-

What?

I have to cancel our plans for tonight.

Oh.

Is everything okay?

Oh, yes.

Everything's fine.

It's just...

Mom's just having a tough day

and I don't think I should leave her tonight.

Do you want me to come to your house?

I'd be happy to help.

No, no, no.

That won't be necessary.

She's pretty upset.

So, I think a new face might just confuse her,

make it worse.

Oh, well okay.

I'm sorry.

Can we reschedule for tomorrow?

I have work tomorrow. Maybe Saturday?

Okay.

That should be fine.

I'm so sorry again.

I understand.

It's all right.

Okay, I've gotta go now.

All right.

Bye David.

Warm up with 50s and 60s and 70s

and eventually we'll see some of that warmer weather

move back into the southeast from the coast

but it won't be around for too much longer.

Thank goodness.

30s and 40s in the northern Rockies to the northwest.

60s and 70s in the southwest.

Latest satellite news right now.

Long Island is in the picture.

You can see a nice day there.

Shuffling the cards

so it's fair.

Okay.

Hmm.

Um, I think I'll go first.

Hmm.

Do you have any fours?

All right!

All right, one is better than nothing.

Okay, it's your turn.

Do you have any tens?

No.

Sorry, pal. Go fish.

Hmm.

Do you have any sevens?

Two sevens!

All right, it's must be my lucky day!

There's nothing like a little friendly competition.

Right, pal?

Right, pal.

This evening and goodnight.

It's always nice to have you with us on air.

Goodnight.

Hey Mom, can I get you a snack before bed?

[bright music]

Mom?

[tense music]

Mom!

Mom!

[dramatic rock music] No, no, no.

No, no, no!

[tires squealing]

Lucille!

Mom!

Mom, Mom! [car horns honking]

Lucille!

Lucille!

Lucille Glauer.

Shit!

Go, go, go!

[car horn honks] Go!

Get the fuck out of the way.

Stupid fuck!

[David growls]

What are you gonna do, David?

What are you gonna do?

Stop!

Stop!

Fucking find her.

Ah, shit.

[phone ringing]

[Dispatch Operator] 911.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Lisa.

Lisa, it's David.

David, I didn't expect-

Lisa, I need your help.

Oh no. What happened?

She's missing.

Mom's missing.

She just wandered out the front door.

I only left her alone for a minute.

David, calm down.

We're going to find her.

Where are you?

[car horns honking]

Sorry.

I didn't wanna call the police.

I didn't want them to-

David, we're gonna find her together.

We just need to think about where she might have gone.

Have you checked the Senior Center?

I already checked.

Okay.

Okay.

Um, well where else did she use to go

regularly when she was younger?

Oh my god.

That's it.

Frank.

[tires squealing]

[car horn honking]

Mom.

Mom, what are you doin'?

The bus is late.

They're usually here at 6:00.

Mom, Mom.

You need to come with us right now.

Frank is playing a show tonight at the Blue Bird.

Now I'll be late.

He'll hate if I'm late.

Hi, Lucille.

Are you waiting for the bus?

No, I'm waiting for the goddamn pope!

What the hell does it look like?

Lucille, the bus is late

because it broke down a few stops away.

Can David and I give you a ride instead?

Uh.

Yeah.

I suppose that would be fine.

All right.

Let's stand up.

You know the word routine comes from route.

You wouldn't know it though from this shitty bus route.

I know, I know. [giggles]

They look so pretty too.

Do you have a date with Frank?

[gentle music]

[Lucille grunting]

Even 10 minutes is a long time

to be away from you.

Goodnight, Frank.

It's...

Sweet dreams, Mom.

[David and Lisa sigh]

Can I get you a drink?

Watch your step.

Home sweet home.

It's nice.

It's very cozy.

It's a perfect place to escape to.

[David and Lisa chuckle]

Didn't you say your dad was a jazz player?

Yes.

Piano.

You wanna hear one of his tapes?

Of course.

[jazzy piano music]

This was always one of my favorites.

We played it at Dad's funeral.

He's handsome.

[David chuckles]

How long ago did he pass?

Hmm.

Almost 10 years now.

Mom was much better back then.

How about your folks?

They live in Florida with my sister.

I came here to go to school

and then I decided to stay after I graduated.

So you're all alone here?

I wouldn't say that.

[David chuckles]

I can't thank you enough for all your help tonight.

It's totally fine.

I was happy to help.

You were probably terrified.

Yeah, I was.

I'm better now.

You know what my dad used to say?

Sometimes you don't realize your own strength

until you come face to face

with your greatest weakness.

[David and Lisa chuckle]

[eerie music]

[David moans]

Oh.

[Andy laughs]

I uh-

David, what was that?

I'm sorry.

I just got excited and-

No, no. The video.

Oh.

It's nothing.

Was that from Video Rendezvous?

I said it's nothing.

Well, who was that creepy guy?

He's no one, okay?

[tense music]

He's no one.

David, I don't understand what you're saying.

No, you wouldn't understand.

I think I should go.

Yeah, I think you should.

[eerie music continues]

[phone ringing] [lawn mower whirring]

[phone ringing continues]

Every year we took Penny to the fair

and we would give her a corn dog

and then go on that tilt-a-whirl.

[Lucille laughs]

And she would always throw up.

[phone ringing]

[answering machine beeps]

Hi, it's Lisa.

If you're there, please pick up.

I wanted to call and apologize.

Frank.

That's nice.

That's nice.

I'm not really sure what for

but I just...

I thought things were going really well

and I just hoped we could talk about it.

It seems silly to fight over some tape.

Too bad.

Too bad.

Too bad.

I'd like to see you again.

Maybe I can come by for dinner.

[answering machine beeps]

Too bad. Too bad.

Too bad. Too bad.

Here they would build schools,

educate their children, reclaim.

[Little Boy On TV] Oh, come on rock.

You've just gotta wake up.

Come on. Come on!

Oh, phooey.

Oh, what's the use?

Nobody is ever gonna believe that I met a talking rock.

Well, who cares anyway? I've got better things to do

than waste my time talking to rude rocks.

[bright music]

[dog barking]

[eerie music]

Andy?

Andy?

Andy.

[dog barking]

[tapes clattering]

Where the fuck?

Frank.

Do we have any more tape?

[tape shattering]

[David yells]

Frank, do we have any more tape?

This stuff is useless.

It must be expired.

Good lord.

Calm yourself.

No sense getting upset over a little tape.

[Lucille laughs]

A little tape?

A little tape?

You

fucking

bitch!

[Lucille sobbing]

Do you have any idea what you've taken from me?

[Lucille screaming]

Everything!

You've taken everything from me!

[Lucille sobbing]

[romantic instrumental music]

[David sobbing]

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! [car horn honks]

Get the fuck out of the way!

Andy!

Andy!

[lighthearted music] [phone ringing]

Help.

Please, Andy.

I need Andy.

I need Andy.

Andy!

I need Andy!

I don't know anyone named Andy.

"Rent-a-Pal!"

I need "Rent-a-Pal!" [Diane screams]

Hey, buddy!

You better calm it down

or we're gonna have a real problem.

[phone ringing]

I need a video tape you sell here.

It's called "Rent-a-Pal".

[Diane sobbing]

Where can I find one?

[Diane crying]

Please.

Please, just take it.

It's on the house.

That's very generous of you.

[Lucille gasping]

[soft music]

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Hi. I'm Andy.

Thanks for being here today.

Well, let's cut to the chase.

I'm here to be your friend.

How does that sound?

That sounds wonderful.

Sounds absolutely wonderful, Andy.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Hey, nice digs.

Did you decorate everything yourself?

Well, I'm excited.

I mean I am really excited.

I gotta be honest with you here.

I have been waiting for this moment

for what feels like forever.

I mean, gosh, I am just so pleased

that you decided to take this journey with me.

We're going to get to know each other.

We're going to talk about whatever you want.

But more than anything,

we're gonna have some fun

and hopefully it's the start of a beautiful relationship.

What do you say?

That's great.

That's great.

To friendship.

To friendship.

You, you have got good taste, pal.

I'm so glad you're here.

I was terribly worried.

Tell me more about that.

My mother, she was confused.

I'm so sorry.

I don't know what I would've done without you.

Oh.

Wow.

Ah, that sounds like a tough time, pal.

I'm sorry to hear about that.

You're not angry?

That's what friends are for.

To be there for each other

when all the chips are down.

And that's why I'm here for you, pal.

Hey, now I don't know about you,

but this is really bumming me out.

So, how about we talk about something else?

Like what?

Moms are so interesting, aren't they?

What do you mean?

We don't need her.

We have each other.

Now, let's have a good time.

What did you have in mind?

Well, what do you say to a game?

[static crackling]

[footsteps approaching]

[Lucille gasping]

Frank.

I've fallen.

[David clicks tongue]

Look at your face.

It's all smashed up.

Here.

Let me help you up.

[Lucille crying]

That a girl.

Whoa.

Frank.

[eerie music]

I wanna sit down.

David?

Mom.

[Lucille crying]

You know what I think?

What, sweetie?

You're the reason Dad killed himself.

[Lucille grunts]

[Lucille screaming]

[static crackling]

Wow!

I don't believe you!

Man, they always say friendships are full of surprises

but, boy, that one really really took me by surprise.

I'll tell you what.

I bet you're full of surprises, aren't you?

It reminds me of a saying.

Sometimes you don't realize your own strength

until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.

Well, it's true.

So forget that girl.

We don't need her.

We have each other.

We have each other.

It's okay, pal.

It's all right.

We don't need her, do we?

No. No, we don't.

We don't need her.

We have each other.

You got what you wanted.

Now we can forget about her, okay?

She didn't understand.

It's not her fault.

Most people don't have what we have.

But you know what?

This, this moment,

this is what friends are for.

To be there for each other

when all the chips are down.

And that's why I'm here for you, pal.

[static crackling]

But, I gotta be honest with you here.

I have been waiting for this moment

for what feels like forever.

And, gosh, I am just so pleased

that you decided to take this journey with me.

We're going to get to know each other.

We're going to talk about whatever you want.

But, more than anything.

We're gonna have some fun.

And hopefully it's the start of a beautiful relationship.

What do you say?

Sounds fucking weird, Andy.

David?

[tense music] [static crackles]

Hi.

Hi.

Thanks for being here today.

You got my message?

I'm here to be your friend.

How's that sound?

I brought a lasagna for your mom.

I've got just the thing.

I'll tell you my best joke.

Stop me if you've heard this one.

David, what's, what's going on?

[Lucille screams]

[glass shatters]

[Lisa screams]

David, what did you do?

No, no, no, no, no.

I know what you're thinking and I know.

But hey, this is a little weird for me too.

David, move!

I've never done this before

so it's totally new to me.

It's new for both of us.

But I guess that just means

we're in this together, right?

You've got my back and I've got yours.

All right.

Let's just dive in.

Stay away from me!

[Lisa grunts] [glass shatters]

You know, I lived at home for most of my life.

It was tough.

Especially with parents like mine.

[Lisa yelps]

You know the type, right?

Overbearing, demanding,

nothing's ever good enough.

[David grunts] [Lisa gasps]

It's a wonder I didn't turn out

to be some sort of disturbed maniac.

[Lisa gasping] [David grunting]

[Lisa grunts] [David grunts]

[David coughing] [David gagging]

[Lisa gasping]

[tense music]

[Lisa screams]

[David grunts]

[Lisa sobbing]

[David moaning]

Help!

Someone please help!

Help!

Help, please!

Someone call 911!

[soft piano music]

[David grunting]

[static crackling]

Hi. I'm Andy.

Thanks for being here today.

Now let's have a good time.

Let's cut to the chase.

I'm here to be your friend.

We're gonna have some fun.

How's that sound?

Whoa.

I gotta be honest with you. Nice digs.

Wow! I guess it could be worse.

I don't believe it! I could have cancer.

To friendship.

[Andy laughs]

Man, they always say friendships

are full of surprises but, boy.

But I guess that just means

we're in this together, right?

Really took me by surprise.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.

I'll tell you what.

I bet you're full of surprises, aren't you?

[David coughs]

When you come face to face.

Nothing like a little friendly competition.

Greatest weakness.

Aw.

Aw, no, really?

Right now?

Aw, but we were having so much fun.

You're leaving?

Oh.

Okay.

Well, I guess all good times

must come to an end.

[David gasping]

Don't worry about me.

I'll be fine.

We sure had a great time, didn't we?

I'm glad to hear you say that.

Right, I know.

I know. You've gotta go.

Well, it's been great.

And hey,

I'll always be right here waiting for you.

Take care

and I'll be seeing you.

So long, pal.

[soft music]

[static crackling]

[upbeat electronic music]

[gentle jazzy music]

Yeah.

[off-key recorder music] [guitar music]