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== Yes ==
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Subtitled By:
Nizar Ezzeddine
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They say my cleaning
is the best they've ever known
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but cleanliness
of course is an illusion
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those of us who clean as a profession know
the deeper source of dirt is always there
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You can't get rid of it
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You cannot hide or put a lid on it
as long as human life is there
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lt's us, the skin we shed
and then the hair...
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l think of what l do as therapy for homes
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you know l often see
the pain imprinted on a bed
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you spot a stain that should not be in there
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of course you know
at once what's going on
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But then you go into another room, the one
he keeps his papers in, or so he says...
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He sleeps in there
from time to time as well
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What was l saying? Yes, it all relates
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The evidence on things like dirty
plates, and socks and underwear
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and other things l shouldn't mention
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that he sometimes flings into
the toilet and thinks l won't see...
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Ah, because he flushes, but
unfortunately he doesn't check its gone
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it's down to me to try again
sometimes l fish it out...
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lt's quicker in the end, it floats
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l doubt they'll ever realize l know it all
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They think that those of us who clean
are small somehow, in body and in mind
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we fall our of their line of sight
invisible, we work our magic
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lndivisible one from the other, we're
a mass, no soul, no rights to speak of
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just a basic role to play
in keeping their lives looking good
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Cosmetic artists, that is
what we should be called
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Or dirt consultants
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You waited until l am not there
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How could you? ln our house?
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- Oh don't
- Don't what?
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- Don't make a scene don't make it worse
- l am not
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Where, our bed?
The sofa? Or perhaps a chair?
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That's fine
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Forgive my question
but are you alright?
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- l'm fine, thank you
- Are you sure?
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Yes, quite
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A woman left alone
if it was me... l wouldn't...
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Wouldn't what?
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Let such a beauty out of
my sight, not for a moment, no
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00:05:57,950 --> 00:06:01,870
A woman left alone, l wouldn't...
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00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:03,910
Wouldn't what?
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00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:07,910
Let such a beauty out of
my sight, not for a moment, no
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And let me add
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l'd like to steal you from the man
who cannot see that you're a queen
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- When are you free?
- My God, you're fast
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Oh no, quite slow
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l don't believe this, l must say no definitely
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lt's you
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You knew
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l guessed
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That's good, l said l'd call
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l thought you would
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- You're over there
- Quite far away
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You sound so near
and when are you...
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- Returning? ln a day, or two
- l'd like to meet
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Yes, where? You say...
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00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:05,750
Let's walk, somewhere, and eat
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And talk
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What's that?
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00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:17,350
- My cab, l'm getting out
- l cannot hear...
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We'll have to shout
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- l'll call again...
- Oh, good, yes, do
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l'm glad l found you...
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l understand that you've invited me
to make a case that life begins at three hours
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or at one, or two, or maybe four
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00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:43,470
as if there is a moment when
we can be sure that we are human
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00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:48,030
You'll want evidence, material, not big ideas
nor common sense, but what is measurable
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00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:54,470
What you can see, and not once
but many times, repeatedly
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For this is science
and that's what we do
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00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:02,270
But wait a minute, is this really true?
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00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:05,630
Could ''objectivity''
be just a point of view?
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00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:09,630
we interpret what we see, and can
see what we expect, in embryology
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00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:15,110
When a man first saw a sperm magnified
he thought he saw a little man inside
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and those that looked were
sure that they could see one too
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so eager were they
to agree, look at this, man?
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Or mouse? The mystery is that
each cell knows its destiny...
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Yes
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Who?
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Oh, Sister Maud
of course, hello
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00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:04,270
lt's been a while, it has
how time does go...
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00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:08,630
No, she's not here, of course
l'll tell her, yes l'm sure she meant to call
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00:10:11,550 --> 00:10:15,550
Oh, l would guess the weekend
but of course one never knows
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00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:19,310
Yes, always working
that's the way it goes
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00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:23,310
And how is her aunt? Oh
oh dear, how sad, is it serious?
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00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:30,910
Oh dear... that does sound bad
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00:10:30,910 --> 00:10:34,910
Oh quite, of course
l'll speak to her tonight
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00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:41,990
Except when she
gets back he will be out
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00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:45,990
That's how they organize their lives
l doubt if they will see each other for a week
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They leave each other
notes but rarely speak
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Hello!
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00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,510
- Where are you from?
- l am lrish
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- From Belfast
- But you sound...
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00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,430
l know, l know, American
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00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,990
They took me there
when l was ten, and you?
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00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:22,990
l am from Beirut
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00:11:23,790 --> 00:11:25,710
My land is made of stones
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00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:29,710
but we have trees that blossom
in the spring and then release their fruit
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00:11:30,430 --> 00:11:34,430
We have cherries, plums
and peaches and the queen of all
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the tree that reaches for the sun to fill its
seed with gold, the yellow fruit, the apricot
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00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:47,430
the old and wisest say
this fruit will keep them young
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And you can taste
her secret with your tongue
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00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:57,070
Potato is our apricot, we bake
we boil, we mash, we fry
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00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:03,470
and then we make a flour of it for dumplings
in our stew or bread or scones or pancakes
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00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:08,710
the famine haunts us still, you see
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00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:13,190
We too are haunted
by our dead, it seems
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00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:16,710
They speak to us
in riddles in our dreams
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00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:20,710
so many killed, they
ask the question, why?
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00:12:21,590 --> 00:12:25,590
Did we have to die?
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00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:31,350
Look, shall we think of something sad?
This conversation's far too light
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00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:35,790
That's bad, yes
absolutely, you are right
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00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:40,750
My auntie in Belfast once
said to me survivors can't forget
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the memory is all that's left
we cannot let it go
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lf it is lost, then who will ever know?
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She brought me up, l loved her so
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00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:55,110
My parents went away when l was two
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They said they'd fetch me in a month
but then a month became a year...
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00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:59,870
my father flew back
home from time to time
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00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:03,030
l never knew when l would go
do you believe in God?
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00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:07,030
She didn't, so l had to pray
at school, then go back home
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00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:12,270
and say l thought that reason was the
way the light, and that God was dead
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This was a Catholic school
they fed us catechism
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fear of hell, and fear
of punishment as well
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00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:23,230
They hit us hard to do us good and told us
that we never would survive without our faith
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00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:27,070
My aunt said they were hypocrites
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00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:30,630
you can't imagine how it was
to be alone with such a split
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00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:34,630
but to atone for sinful doubt l searched
for truth, with all the passion of my youth
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00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,470
You found it?
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00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:42,230
Science
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00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:46,230
So you think that you can
penetrate the mind of God
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l do... not know... if God has a mind
or if there is a God, l don't believe...
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Such golden hair, we can agree...
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00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:59,790
To disagree? How true, l'm talking
far too much, now what of you?
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00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:19,150
We'd rather sing than speak
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00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:24,150
it leaves us free to mourn, or to rejoice
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00:14:27,270 --> 00:14:31,270
Ultimately there always is a choice
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00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:42,190
Ah, so, you see... we're not
so different, really, you and me
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Speak to me
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00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:59,230
Of what? What is there to say?
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00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:03,710
Too much, or nothing
please try, anyway
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00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:11,110
Well, l adore the number one
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one you, one me, one moon, one sun
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Must l revolve around you then? Am l
the silver planet circling round the gold?
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00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,750
Are you the source of light and heat, whilst
l am shadow, pulling watery tides, and cold?
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00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:39,350
You hear a meaning where
there's none, l fear... l spoke of one
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00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:44,030
A number, an idea, my preference
for the single state, that's all
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00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:50,430
Single is a word based on illusion
life itself develops from a fusion
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00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:57,390
Two is joining, letting go
attraction and rejection, yes and no
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00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:03,910
lt's not a solo but a sweet duet
that's played to bring us here
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00:17:05,630 --> 00:17:08,550
and the forget how it was
before we met the other
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00:17:08,550 --> 00:17:12,550
lt was two that brought us to the mother
and desire that led us to the lover
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00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:18,990
You're right, but now
l'd like to speak of three
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Admit, there's you and him
and now there's me
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00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:30,230
Oh God, let's hide inside the number four
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a house with walls
and with a door that closes on gas
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00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:40,070
we've gone too far, l forgot, the thought
that precedes one, the thought that's not
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the void, the vast
and endless state of none
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containing, holding, god-like
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it's the one and only number
that we really need
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00:17:57,550 --> 00:18:01,550
naught is the majesty that rules
our lives, unseen, and silently
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00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:11,830
Nice, but a bit too mystical for me
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00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:15,670
someone invented zero
so that we could count and measure
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00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:18,310
the unthinkably large unwieldy numbers
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00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:22,310
And it was then, by multiplying to the power
of ten, that we began to measure space
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00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:26,230
and so to time...
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00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,550
- You tricked me!
- No!
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00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:30,470
Yes you did, of course
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00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:34,470
You start with one, then give yourself
the source of all the numbers
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00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:44,590
No, lovely lady, all l meant
to say was this, you are the one
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00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:53,110
The light of day, the velvet night
the single rose, the hand l want to hold
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00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:01,790
the secret country, land of all
my longings, there, you have my word
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00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,990
l used to lay the blondes
who came my way
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00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:56,990
And they were ready for it, night or day
l'd look at them, l wouldn't say a word
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00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:01,430
and they were on their backs
as if they'd heard a heavenly command
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00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:05,430
and then they'd cry, at first
with pleasure, like they'd never had
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00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:07,990
And then they'd phone you up
and drive you mad
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00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:11,990
The weeping and the wailing
and the rest, they'd ruin it
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00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:16,270
At first they were the best, those babes
but now at last l've seen the light
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00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:22,070
Temptation's there
to teach us how to fight
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00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:26,070
the devil comes in every shape and size
those that resist him get the prize
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00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:31,750
The prize is Jesus, thank the Lord above
he is the maximum top source of love
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00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:39,550
Now hold it there, some lasses may be tarts
but they're not evil, they've got broken hearts
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00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:45,070
They do it 'cause it's all they know
they're used for sex when they are kiddies
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00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:48,070
They're abused from start to finish
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00:20:48,070 --> 00:20:52,070
then they're on the streets
and taking drugs instead of eating sweets
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00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:54,430
they haven't got a chance
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00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:58,430
Back home l'd walk around and
chat with them, sometimes, just talk...
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00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:03,030
You'd what? Just talk?
You're not that fucking good
189
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:04,870
You'd fucking do it if you fucking could
190
00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,230
You know fuck all about my fucking life
191
00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:09,390
l know you're fucking
skint, so did your wife
192
00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:11,030
You fucking leave that
out of fucking this
193
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:13,110
l'm only joking, can't l take the piss?
194
00:21:13,110 --> 00:21:16,190
The difference is l never had to pay
195
00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:20,190
Yes, so you fucking always fucking say
no fucking woman's free of charge
196
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:22,950
No way, you fancy one
but there's no fucking lay
197
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:24,590
unless you buy the drinks all fucking night
198
00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:28,590
lt's not the drinks, you have
to treat them right, they want respect
199
00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:31,230
- Respect?
- And dignity
200
00:21:31,230 --> 00:21:33,990
Oh, Jesus Christ
l've seen the fucking light
201
00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:35,990
You fucking shag them
then chuck them away
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00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,950
and now you've got the fucking cheek
to say that you respect them
203
00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:40,830
and they're fucking white
and fucking blonde
204
00:21:40,830 --> 00:21:44,830
Oh, come on now, big boy
you'll pull a girlie soon, don't start a fight
205
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:48,150
l saw a woman once, upon a bus
206
00:21:48,150 --> 00:21:51,510
She was a foreigner, not one of us
207
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:55,510
she sat alone, this tourist from the west
her trembling bosom in a skin-tight vest
208
00:21:57,990 --> 00:22:01,990
The men were staring at her from behind
the same scenario in every mind
209
00:22:03,230 --> 00:22:04,950
- There was a television...
- On the bus?
210
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:06,310
With fucking videos and all, like us?
211
00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:09,030
Don't interrupt
what happened next? Poor lass...
212
00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:10,750
Each fucking Arab got a piece of ass
213
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:12,590
An image came up on the shaking screen
214
00:22:12,590 --> 00:22:14,790
A porno movie!
Fucking gang-bang scene!
215
00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:16,110
Shut up!
216
00:22:16,110 --> 00:22:20,110
He's right, the image was obscene
but not the way you think
217
00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:25,390
lt was a girl, a young one, fair and fresh
218
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:29,630
a lovely pearl with long fair hair that blew
around her head like golden candy floss
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00:22:30,910 --> 00:22:34,910
as she shot dead one man
after another with her gun
220
00:22:35,150 --> 00:22:39,150
We stared, and sweated, as the blazing sun
beat down upon the bus, but didn't care...
221
00:22:40,430 --> 00:22:43,070
She wore a costume
that was hardly there
222
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:46,830
a little piece of fabric round her hips
and covering her breasts
223
00:22:46,830 --> 00:22:50,830
and on her lips some glossy red
224
00:22:51,230 --> 00:22:55,230
and every time she killed
a man, her lips would open
225
00:22:56,670 --> 00:23:00,670
Yes, she spilled their blood
with pleasure, and she wore a flag
226
00:23:03,270 --> 00:23:07,150
the cloth that covered her
was not a rag, it was a symbol
227
00:23:07,150 --> 00:23:11,150
Stars and stripes, l swear
this was a blonde American
228
00:23:16,950 --> 00:23:20,230
they share their women's bodies
with the world, you see
229
00:23:20,230 --> 00:23:24,070
lt's true, they have no shame or modesty
230
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:27,750
Come on now, lads
it's not all black and white
231
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:30,310
They may be wrong
but you're not in the right
232
00:23:30,310 --> 00:23:33,430
Where he comes from
the lasses wear the veil
233
00:23:33,430 --> 00:23:35,550
They've got no life
it's like they're in a jain
234
00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:38,390
Too fucking right!
Some wear those things like beaks
235
00:23:38,390 --> 00:23:40,590
They look like fucking crows
give me the creeps
236
00:23:40,590 --> 00:23:42,670
Aye... they're oppressed
237
00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:44,070
But what about the vest?
238
00:23:44,070 --> 00:23:46,150
That one up front
all trembling and the rest?
239
00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:50,150
She was a foreigner, therefore a guest
and we were hosts, therefore we were polite
240
00:23:52,910 --> 00:23:56,910
That's all that happened?
What a load of shite
241
00:24:06,430 --> 00:24:10,430
Hi gorgeous
242
00:24:17,350 --> 00:24:20,510
l am feeling fat, what do you think?
243
00:24:20,510 --> 00:24:24,190
Oh darling girl, you're
lovely and you're more...
244
00:24:24,190 --> 00:24:26,870
You will have a stream
of lovers who will adore you
245
00:24:26,870 --> 00:24:30,830
Not just for your eyes and
glossy hair and for you slender body
246
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:34,150
Don't despair, you are
not fat, but even if you were
247
00:24:34,150 --> 00:24:35,950
You'd still be beautiful
248
00:24:35,950 --> 00:24:39,030
You see! You think l'm huge! l knew it!
249
00:24:39,030 --> 00:24:42,870
l did not interfere that you
were over-large in any way
250
00:24:42,870 --> 00:24:45,310
What your god-mother
is trying to say is this
251
00:24:45,310 --> 00:24:48,190
Grace, there is so much more
to you than your reflection
252
00:24:48,190 --> 00:24:52,190
So much, more to do than
stand and stare, obsessed with...
253
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:57,230
You are not fat! Don't waste
another breath of yours on that!
254
00:24:58,870 --> 00:25:02,870
But don't you worry about
you? The lines and stuff?
255
00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:06,350
Pursuit of beauty is the rule
256
00:25:06,350 --> 00:25:08,790
They say you mustn't
let it go without a struggle
257
00:25:08,790 --> 00:25:12,790
l will be there with color covering every
hair that's grey and cutting straight away
258
00:25:13,510 --> 00:25:17,510
lf there's a wrinkle, wait and see
l'll do it when l'm twenty-three
259
00:25:36,190 --> 00:25:39,710
- How's school?
- Okay
260
00:25:39,710 --> 00:25:43,710
- What interests you most?
- You mean: What's fun?
261
00:25:44,670 --> 00:25:48,670
l know you like to boast that
you are a party girl without a brain
262
00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:54,310
l don't believe you grace, now try again
263
00:25:54,350 --> 00:25:58,070
lf you insist
264
00:25:58,070 --> 00:26:02,070
l suppose there's something
l quite like to think about
265
00:26:03,870 --> 00:26:07,870
l find l lie in bed and then
l start to drift and dream
266
00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:16,710
Things are not really as they seem
267
00:26:18,270 --> 00:26:22,270
That's true enough, look closer and
we see that everything is really chemistry
268
00:26:24,990 --> 00:26:28,990
The world is made of sulfur and of tin
of phosphorous and lead and nitrogen
269
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:35,150
Of mercury, zinc and hydrogen
270
00:26:35,150 --> 00:26:38,190
Of gold and silver and uranium
271
00:26:38,190 --> 00:26:42,190
Of carbon and iron and palladium
272
00:26:42,270 --> 00:26:46,270
Of carbon, potassium, titanium
273
00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:53,310
So Grace, what do
you really want to be?
274
00:26:53,310 --> 00:26:57,310
Famous
275
00:27:06,270 --> 00:27:10,270
l was a doctor with a knife
l cut the flesh to save the life
276
00:27:12,710 --> 00:27:16,710
A surgeon, yes, my father too
but l came here what could l do?
277
00:27:20,630 --> 00:27:24,630
l use my knife to cut the food, l do it
well, l'm very good at cutting meat
278
00:27:26,550 --> 00:27:30,550
l chop, l dice the ham which l don't eat
279
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:34,910
l slice it wafer-thin
so delicate, like lady's lace
280
00:27:36,750 --> 00:27:40,750
lt's very nice to look at
silky to the touch
281
00:27:43,590 --> 00:27:47,590
l like my work, yes very much
282
00:27:49,230 --> 00:27:53,230
But surely, don't you feel
you're wasting what you were?
283
00:27:54,390 --> 00:27:57,110
The task you trained for?
284
00:27:57,110 --> 00:28:00,470
Why did you choose to leave a country
that could use your talents properly?
285
00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:04,470
No reason, why should l jump in plane
and grieving, fly half way around the world?
286
00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:12,270
Perhaps yes! l forgot! l was a surgeon
287
00:28:15,190 --> 00:28:19,190
now the plot has changed
the story been revised...
288
00:28:20,230 --> 00:28:24,230
The hero's been reduced, down-sized
a lower kind of man, a cook!
289
00:28:27,270 --> 00:28:31,270
The kind of man you would not
look at, is that what you want to say?
290
00:28:32,590 --> 00:28:36,590
Not good enough for you today?
291
00:28:40,550 --> 00:28:44,550
One night l saved
a man from certain death
292
00:28:45,710 --> 00:28:49,150
l operate when he took a breath
293
00:28:49,150 --> 00:28:51,270
l knew that he was safe and l felt good
294
00:28:51,270 --> 00:28:55,270
l had done my job with
skill the way l should
295
00:28:56,350 --> 00:29:00,350
l turned to go, but standing in the
door, were three men that l knew
296
00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:04,230
but l was sure, they
had not come to talk
297
00:29:04,230 --> 00:29:05,790
For it was late
298
00:29:05,790 --> 00:29:09,790
They carried guns
and in their eyes was hate
299
00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:14,750
they told me l was wasting
precious skill and time on someone
300
00:29:15,070 --> 00:29:19,070
that might later
kill a child of theirs, or mine
301
00:29:24,750 --> 00:29:28,750
Before my eyes they shot him dead
302
00:29:31,470 --> 00:29:35,270
They said: you can't disguise
one of ''them'' as a patient
303
00:29:35,270 --> 00:29:39,270
from now on you treat our
people only, do you hear?
304
00:29:41,190 --> 00:29:45,190
l packed my bags
at once, and l was gone
305
00:29:48,230 --> 00:29:52,230
They'd killed a man and murdered an idea
that doctors answer to a human need
306
00:29:52,990 --> 00:29:55,870
without a thought of color, or of creed
307
00:29:55,870 --> 00:29:59,870
and then had the effrontery to claim
that they had done it in my people's name
308
00:30:02,990 --> 00:30:06,990
- lt's something that you wouldn't understand
- Oh but l do, you're not the only ones
309
00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:14,910
l feel your story in my blood and bones
310
00:30:14,910 --> 00:30:18,910
l see a father, calling to his son, l see
the houses crumble, dust and stones
311
00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:23,190
l hear the gunfire, and the
knock at night upon the door
312
00:30:23,190 --> 00:30:26,910
l see the women's fright, l hear
the adolescent called to fight
313
00:30:26,910 --> 00:30:30,910
l see him march away in morning light and
not look back, he knows his mother weeps
314
00:30:31,030 --> 00:30:34,750
She fears that she will lose
another son, she's buried two already
315
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:38,590
Listen to her litany as the
tears glisten on her cheeks
316
00:30:38,590 --> 00:30:41,390
And to the bell that's
ringing calling her to church
317
00:30:41,390 --> 00:30:44,310
to join the singing
and to praise the Lord
318
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:48,310
Yes l know of so called holy war
319
00:30:49,190 --> 00:30:53,190
you do not have to go
so very far from here to find it
320
00:31:22,310 --> 00:31:26,310
- You're looking good
- Well, thank you Kate... am l?
321
00:31:26,310 --> 00:31:28,430
l think l see a sparkle in your eye
322
00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:31,110
But as for me... l'm
tired, my limbs are sore
323
00:31:31,110 --> 00:31:34,070
My feet are aching, oh
l'm such a bore l'm sorry
324
00:31:34,070 --> 00:31:36,870
l've just been at home and you have
gone half-way around the world
325
00:31:36,870 --> 00:31:40,390
How you can climb out of your bed at dawn
when you've had 3 or 4 hours sleep at most
326
00:31:40,390 --> 00:31:42,790
But then you see, that's the
difference between you and me
327
00:31:42,790 --> 00:31:46,190
- l simply do not have your energy
- What nonsense, you're amazing
328
00:31:46,190 --> 00:31:49,950
- You have far more stamina than me
- What was the conference about?
329
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:51,950
They want an easy ethical way out
330
00:31:51,950 --> 00:31:54,790
so that the public doesn't have
to feel we're killing living things
331
00:31:54,790 --> 00:31:56,270
- But are you?
- Kate!
332
00:31:56,270 --> 00:31:59,150
l'm sorry, but you know l really
hate to think of those poor little...
333
00:31:59,150 --> 00:32:03,070
- They're y cells that's all they are
- Sorry!
334
00:32:03,070 --> 00:32:07,070
- Do they feel pain?
- Why must l justify my work again?
335
00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:21,830
- How are the children?
- Fine
336
00:32:21,830 --> 00:32:25,830
The little ones as usual are divine
but of course the giantess is trouble
337
00:32:26,710 --> 00:32:30,670
She stays upstairs in the heap of rubble
she calls her room and never talks to me
338
00:32:30,670 --> 00:32:33,670
l hear you took her out
the other day, how was it?
339
00:32:33,670 --> 00:32:35,790
Lovely, for me, anyway
340
00:32:35,790 --> 00:32:39,790
Oh yes? But then...
she so looks up to you...
341
00:32:39,790 --> 00:32:43,790
She thinks l'm dull, sometimes
l wish that l could get away like you
342
00:32:45,190 --> 00:32:47,950
just take off on some sunny day
343
00:32:47,950 --> 00:32:50,990
one airport's like another
344
00:32:50,990 --> 00:32:54,990
l used to dream to travel... now l pack and
unpack suits and shoes, that's all they see
345
00:32:56,990 --> 00:32:59,870
The haircut and the
clothes, even with me
346
00:32:59,870 --> 00:33:02,350
- l envy you...
- Envy... oh? Why?
347
00:33:02,350 --> 00:33:04,630
Because you're free to wear
your ancient tracksuits all the time
348
00:33:04,630 --> 00:33:06,630
and t-shirts covered
in your baby's slime
349
00:33:06,630 --> 00:33:10,630
Well thanks, that lovely portrait really
gives a feeling for the life a mother lives
350
00:33:10,870 --> 00:33:13,710
A less important job, the one job l do
351
00:33:13,710 --> 00:33:17,710
Thank God our mothers did it, though
you would not be here at all, nor would l
352
00:33:20,950 --> 00:33:24,950
Why is it that we always end this way?
Competing for who suffers most?
353
00:33:27,870 --> 00:33:31,870
Perhaps you did it right: a single mum
so-called 'open marriage' has become...
354
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:38,710
We just can't talk... so many lies...
355
00:33:38,710 --> 00:33:42,710
Well, l guess that that's
what happens when love dies
356
00:33:43,550 --> 00:33:46,990
Kate, you know us both, you're his friend
too, l am really longing to say too much
357
00:33:46,990 --> 00:33:50,990
- What has he said to you?
- Oh, nothing, really
358
00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:21,310
Oh lovely goddess, whore
and tramp you are my love
359
00:34:21,750 --> 00:34:25,750
You light the lamp that guides me
through the velvet night towards you
360
00:34:26,030 --> 00:34:27,630
Hold me, hold me tight
361
00:34:27,630 --> 00:34:31,630
Your voice, your paleness, your
perfume, your presence haunts me
362
00:34:32,910 --> 00:34:36,630
ln my room l wait
for you, filled with desire
363
00:34:36,630 --> 00:34:39,070
Your hungry look ignites my fire
364
00:34:39,070 --> 00:34:43,070
Oh lady, what then can l do
but burn? l am in flames for you
365
00:34:44,670 --> 00:34:48,510
Before l knew you
now l know l was not living
366
00:34:48,510 --> 00:34:52,510
This is so much more
than anything l've felt
367
00:34:52,630 --> 00:34:56,630
My love: you hold me and l melt
368
00:34:57,550 --> 00:35:01,550
l am not solid anymore
l am a feeling
369
00:35:03,350 --> 00:35:07,230
Call me whore, l'll ask for more!
370
00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:11,230
The names you give me
names l never would forgive
371
00:35:11,990 --> 00:35:15,990
lf spoken to me in the street... somehow
from you, my love... they're sweet
372
00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:33,870
What can l give you, lady luck?
What other words and names?
373
00:35:33,870 --> 00:35:37,350
l'll fuck you as a mistress, as a queen
374
00:35:37,350 --> 00:35:41,350
l'll worship you with words obscene and
ugly, all the more to show how l adore you
375
00:35:46,070 --> 00:35:49,510
Bring you low with
language from the gutter
376
00:35:49,510 --> 00:35:53,510
Hear me now, l'll gently
mutter things into your ear
377
00:35:53,830 --> 00:35:57,830
flowing streams of words from fantasies
and dreams you've not confessed to anyone
378
00:35:59,350 --> 00:36:01,870
Yes please! Yes, say it all!
379
00:36:01,870 --> 00:36:05,870
Let forbidden thoughts be heard
let the hidden parts be seen
380
00:36:07,950 --> 00:36:11,950
The only danger is that all the lonely private
places you have been to might dissolve
381
00:36:14,430 --> 00:36:18,430
And you will be seen to blossom
382
00:36:20,030 --> 00:36:24,030
singing, dancing, humming
383
00:36:29,030 --> 00:36:33,030
Laughing... come here love
384
00:36:35,590 --> 00:36:39,590
You're coming
385
00:37:21,630 --> 00:37:25,630
Grace come in
386
00:37:27,270 --> 00:37:29,310
ls she here?
387
00:37:29,310 --> 00:37:33,310
Not now but come on in
and wait, Grace, anyhow
388
00:38:05,070 --> 00:38:09,070
Do make yourself
at home, come sit by me
389
00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:18,190
Something to drink?
Perhaps you'd like some tea?
390
00:38:18,470 --> 00:38:22,470
No thanks
391
00:38:28,230 --> 00:38:32,230
- How's school?
- Fine
392
00:38:37,830 --> 00:38:41,750
Not too much to say
393
00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:45,750
l see, well, Grace, you don't give
much away you're very wise!
394
00:38:47,790 --> 00:38:51,790
l do my best
395
00:38:51,870 --> 00:38:55,870
But you don't have to do
a thing you just have to be
396
00:38:58,150 --> 00:39:02,150
The rest comes later
when you're old, like me
397
00:39:02,990 --> 00:39:06,990
l'm not that young
and you are not that old
398
00:39:08,630 --> 00:39:12,630
You're sweet
399
00:39:15,350 --> 00:39:19,350
Grace... may l confide in you?
400
00:39:22,830 --> 00:39:26,830
Your godmother and l...
401
00:39:28,070 --> 00:39:32,070
she thinks l'm... cold
402
00:39:32,310 --> 00:39:36,150
but it's her... you see
403
00:39:36,150 --> 00:39:40,150
l have feelings too
404
00:41:10,310 --> 00:41:13,110
- He said you're cold
- Who?
405
00:41:13,110 --> 00:41:15,150
Your husband
406
00:41:15,150 --> 00:41:19,150
- Oh God, and what the hell was he...
- l came to see you, you were out
407
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:22,110
And then he told me all
about his secret feelings
408
00:41:22,110 --> 00:41:23,870
Oh, l see
409
00:41:23,870 --> 00:41:27,870
That must have been... exactly when?
410
00:41:29,750 --> 00:41:31,830
He held my hand as well
411
00:41:31,830 --> 00:41:35,830
Oh Jesus Christ, and then?
412
00:41:36,590 --> 00:41:40,590
l need to talk at the end of my day
413
00:41:40,870 --> 00:41:44,870
She feels l've compromised
or lost my way, so she won't listen
414
00:41:47,990 --> 00:41:51,990
She will never learn what changing
things, in practice, has to be
415
00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:56,910
She's like a student, her mentality
is as it was when we first met
416
00:41:57,710 --> 00:42:01,710
all dreams, and talk and grand ideas
and lofty schemes about society and truth
417
00:42:06,150 --> 00:42:10,150
l tried to do something to right the
wrongs l somehow, am now the enemy
418
00:42:12,430 --> 00:42:16,430
Whilst she does science and
retains integrity or so she thinks
419
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:21,550
She always has to feel
that she's the underdog
420
00:42:21,550 --> 00:42:25,150
the one who's real
while l am false, somehow
421
00:42:25,150 --> 00:42:29,150
And l am English too of course, while
she is lrish through and through
422
00:42:30,550 --> 00:42:33,230
The fact is that she left
when she was ten!
423
00:42:33,230 --> 00:42:37,230
She grew up in America, but then
it suits her to forget that on the whole
424
00:42:40,150 --> 00:42:43,990
She claims her roots and so can
play the role of the oppressed
425
00:42:43,990 --> 00:42:47,990
Right, so tell me why she never
seems to find the time to fly back home
426
00:42:48,510 --> 00:42:51,710
to see one of the very
last true communists
427
00:42:51,710 --> 00:42:55,710
Her auntie in Belfast?
428
00:42:58,870 --> 00:43:01,990
To say those things to her
he has abused us both
429
00:43:01,990 --> 00:43:04,790
She doesn't need to know how
we have organized our marriage
430
00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:07,870
And then he said things about...
431
00:43:07,870 --> 00:43:10,350
She so looks up to me!
l could kill him l could hoot him dead
432
00:43:10,350 --> 00:43:11,870
our god-daughter!
l can't believe he said...
433
00:43:11,870 --> 00:43:14,190
Have you ever seen
a body full of bullets?
434
00:43:14,190 --> 00:43:17,150
- As a matter of fact...
- You people...?
435
00:43:17,150 --> 00:43:20,230
- Who?
- Are so naive
436
00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:21,350
What?
437
00:43:21,350 --> 00:43:25,350
The stupid things that you believe, you think
there is no pain that cannot be forgotten
438
00:43:25,710 --> 00:43:28,950
And no chain that fetters
you that cannot be undone
439
00:43:28,950 --> 00:43:32,950
You're ''free'', but must defend that
with a gun, a tank, a helicopter or a bomb
440
00:43:34,790 --> 00:43:37,710
So no-one thinks that
way where you come from?
441
00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:40,790
Why suddenly accuse me in this way?
442
00:43:40,790 --> 00:43:44,790
l have a different point
of view on life and death
443
00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:49,510
But is that true?
444
00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:53,510
You are a scientist and from the west
you think you know it all, that you're the best
445
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:59,750
One life of yours worth
more than all the rest
446
00:43:59,750 --> 00:44:03,750
Hello? ls it me that you are talking to?
What do you know about my point of view?
447
00:44:03,910 --> 00:44:07,310
And, come to that, about the work l do?
448
00:44:07,310 --> 00:44:11,310
You do not seem to work much, anyway...
l work at night, but you... here in the day...
449
00:44:14,790 --> 00:44:17,510
Jesus! What's going on?
What did l say?
450
00:44:17,510 --> 00:44:21,510
- lt seems that you know nothing of my life
- l know that you are married, you're a wife
451
00:44:23,950 --> 00:44:27,950
A woman with a lover, in the day
perhaps another one at night? Or two?
452
00:44:30,990 --> 00:44:34,990
l don't have lovers
there is only you
453
00:44:40,470 --> 00:44:44,470
Oh shit, man, l was saved
from as worse than sin
454
00:44:44,830 --> 00:44:47,870
My life as ugly, l ate out of bins
455
00:44:47,870 --> 00:44:50,950
You know l sank that low, l had no pride
456
00:44:50,950 --> 00:44:54,950
The dirt on me... and in my
mouth... l lied with every breath
457
00:44:55,230 --> 00:44:59,070
l didn't have a friend left in the world...
they gave up in the end lt was hopeless
458
00:44:59,070 --> 00:45:01,870
And it was all because
l turned away from Jesus
459
00:45:01,870 --> 00:45:05,870
lt was hell, but then he found me
and he made me well again
460
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:09,870
Oh praise the Lord, the mighty one
who gave this undeserving world his son
461
00:45:11,110 --> 00:45:12,870
You think it's you that
fucking turned away?
462
00:45:12,870 --> 00:45:15,350
He saw your fucking face
and thought: no way!
463
00:45:15,350 --> 00:45:16,710
Don't mock the man
464
00:45:16,710 --> 00:45:20,710
But look, l can't believe any father that
would go and leave his son in such a mess
465
00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:22,830
Why didn't he come sooner?
466
00:45:22,830 --> 00:45:26,670
- None of it makes sense to me
- Too right it don't, you've got to fucking think
467
00:45:26,670 --> 00:45:30,630
l'm God, you're dirt, l wash you
in the sink of holy fucking water
468
00:45:30,630 --> 00:45:31,950
Well, what for?
469
00:45:31,950 --> 00:45:35,390
For one less sinner banging at the door
of heaven when it's all too fucking late?
470
00:45:35,390 --> 00:45:38,350
- The Lord is merciful
- l fucking hate this crap
471
00:45:38,350 --> 00:45:42,070
There ain't no God, it's fucking shite
and if there is, he's full of fucking spite
472
00:45:42,070 --> 00:45:44,030
- lt's you that's negative
- Don't pick on me!
473
00:45:44,030 --> 00:45:47,190
- l'm not, but every cunt's your enemy
- Too fucking right!
474
00:45:47,190 --> 00:45:50,790
lf Jesus chose that fuck instead
of me, now who's got all the luck?
475
00:45:50,790 --> 00:45:54,790
His heart is big enough for you as well
if you repent your sins you're saved from hell
476
00:45:55,230 --> 00:45:57,190
He will forgive the things
you've said today
477
00:45:57,190 --> 00:45:59,830
Just go down on your
knees and start to pray
478
00:45:59,830 --> 00:46:01,430
Fuck off! You fucking wanker!
479
00:46:01,430 --> 00:46:03,710
There's no way! That wasn't
what l fucking meant to say
480
00:46:03,710 --> 00:46:06,270
- What did you mean?
- You picking on me too?
481
00:46:06,270 --> 00:46:08,350
- l only asked
- What do you fucking do?
482
00:46:08,350 --> 00:46:11,470
Go down the fucking mosque?
Dark fucking horse
483
00:46:11,470 --> 00:46:13,470
lnfidel!
484
00:46:13,470 --> 00:46:17,350
Oh, oh what? Of fucking course!
You're a fanatic, one of them
485
00:46:17,350 --> 00:46:18,790
Be careful, lady
486
00:46:18,790 --> 00:46:21,230
- Why, are you afraid?
- Don't be ridiculous
487
00:46:21,230 --> 00:46:23,550
- The lamb has strayed
- What fucking lamb?
488
00:46:23,550 --> 00:46:25,310
The lamb of God's in hell
489
00:46:25,310 --> 00:46:28,910
- He was in Paradise, and now he fell
- l've had it with this fucking God and shit
490
00:46:28,910 --> 00:46:30,950
There ain't no paradise
this fucking crap is it
491
00:46:30,950 --> 00:46:33,430
This country's full
of wankers dressed in sheets
492
00:46:33,430 --> 00:46:35,350
asylum fucking seekers in our streets
493
00:46:35,350 --> 00:46:37,710
And taking all our
fucking jobs, Arab wanks!
494
00:46:37,710 --> 00:46:39,030
- Easy, easy
- No then what do they do?
495
00:46:39,030 --> 00:46:41,030
To give us thanks what the
do they fucking blow us up!
496
00:46:41,030 --> 00:46:43,590
- You've got it wrong
- That fucking jihad war, it won't be long
497
00:46:43,590 --> 00:46:45,990
The war is fought inside the soul of man
498
00:46:45,990 --> 00:46:49,390
He struggles, doing everything
he can to overcome his base desires
499
00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:52,070
The part of him that's
animal and has no heart
500
00:46:52,070 --> 00:46:55,550
The self that's primitive and has
no mind, that's why there is a law
501
00:46:55,550 --> 00:46:58,030
lslamic law's not kind but it is fair
502
00:46:58,030 --> 00:47:01,430
A bomb's not fucking fair, you
Arab shites are evil, you don't care
503
00:47:01,430 --> 00:47:04,110
To you we're all the same
from over there, you're ignorant
504
00:47:04,110 --> 00:47:07,190
- Now don't you fucking dare
- You celebrate your ignorance with joy
505
00:47:07,190 --> 00:47:10,950
You should be studying, you're
just a boy and living on the street
506
00:47:10,950 --> 00:47:14,350
So fucking what? You fucking
foreigners have stole the lot
507
00:47:14,350 --> 00:47:18,350
There ain't no fucking houses left for us
you dirty mother-fucking load of pus
508
00:47:18,470 --> 00:47:22,470
- Come off it, son, he didn't mean
- Boy, answer me, are your hands clean?
509
00:47:24,030 --> 00:47:25,750
l'm not an Arab if that's what you mean
510
00:47:25,750 --> 00:47:29,190
- Then you may touch...
- This fuck's too fucking much!
511
00:47:29,190 --> 00:47:32,990
lnsult my people, you're insulting me
512
00:47:32,990 --> 00:47:34,270
l may have my doubts
513
00:47:34,270 --> 00:47:38,270
but now when l see an animal like you
l'd rather be of any faith than be of none
514
00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:44,110
Go on then lady, give it to him, son
515
00:47:47,550 --> 00:47:51,550
ls that what you need there?
516
00:48:01,510 --> 00:48:05,510
Out
517
00:49:40,470 --> 00:49:44,470
- l need to see you
- Look l can't, not now
518
00:49:46,110 --> 00:49:48,510
- Then later?
- No
519
00:49:48,510 --> 00:49:51,750
- Tomorrow, anyhow?
- l cannot say
520
00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:55,470
- You cannot say, why not?
- Some problems
521
00:49:55,470 --> 00:49:59,470
Well, me too... have you forgot?
522
00:50:03,830 --> 00:50:07,830
Look, it's... we need to talk, let's go away
523
00:50:10,470 --> 00:50:14,470
A small hotel a night or two l will pay
524
00:51:36,030 --> 00:51:40,030
Sorry
525
00:51:54,190 --> 00:51:58,190
- How are you?
- Fine
526
00:52:02,990 --> 00:52:05,070
That's it?
527
00:52:05,070 --> 00:52:07,550
Don't nag
528
00:52:07,550 --> 00:52:11,310
l'm sorry, l don't follow
you, could you repeat?
529
00:52:11,310 --> 00:52:13,630
Or is it that l ought to learn
somehow to read your mind?
530
00:52:13,630 --> 00:52:17,630
l am sure that if l try l'll find a way...
531
00:52:18,830 --> 00:52:22,830
l'm going out
532
00:52:28,350 --> 00:52:30,590
Sometimes you are a bitch
533
00:52:30,590 --> 00:52:34,590
The bitch and nag: a lovely pair
yes, do go out and get some air
534
00:52:38,430 --> 00:52:42,430
Why won't you fight? Why won't you
shout? Then we could argue our way out
535
00:52:43,710 --> 00:52:47,710
Look, as it happens
l am proud of my control
536
00:52:48,230 --> 00:52:51,270
You say out loud the
first thing that occurs to you
537
00:52:51,270 --> 00:52:55,270
l don't behave like you
and l am glad of that
538
00:52:56,710 --> 00:52:59,510
l try to do my best for us, don't sigh...
539
00:52:59,510 --> 00:53:01,710
Am l too much? Am l too much real?
540
00:53:01,710 --> 00:53:04,830
Perhaps with me you have to feel
541
00:53:04,830 --> 00:53:08,830
Feel what? The loss of all
our dreams? The end of us?
542
00:53:15,590 --> 00:53:18,630
Some empty schemes to fill the void?
543
00:53:18,630 --> 00:53:22,630
Re-decorate the house perhaps, or
celebrate my birthday or some other date...
544
00:53:22,830 --> 00:53:26,830
Our anniversary! Let's wake up
somewhere else, let's take a break
545
00:53:27,110 --> 00:53:31,110
Lie on a beach and feel
the ache of emptiness
546
00:53:32,590 --> 00:53:36,590
You're bored, you read a book
547
00:53:36,990 --> 00:53:40,990
And then we go and feed ourselves...
at some expensive place you hate
548
00:53:41,950 --> 00:53:45,950
And so you pull a face
at me as if the fault were mine
549
00:53:47,310 --> 00:53:51,310
You think it's good to feel l've failed?
550
00:53:51,590 --> 00:53:53,990
You think it's good to feel
551
00:53:53,990 --> 00:53:57,990
l've jailed you somehow in a boring, cold
hell of a place where we grow old together
552
00:53:58,510 --> 00:54:02,510
wishing that we weren't?
553
00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:08,750
l've learned that not to feel at all is best
554
00:54:09,190 --> 00:54:12,790
There was a time when love was
there, there must have been
555
00:54:12,790 --> 00:54:16,150
yes it was you who once said
conversation was an aphrodisiac...
556
00:54:16,150 --> 00:54:17,470
because it flowed
557
00:54:17,470 --> 00:54:20,510
Like nectar, or like juice
558
00:54:20,510 --> 00:54:24,510
Oh, fuck it, fuck it, what's the use
559
00:54:30,390 --> 00:54:34,390
- How is your Aunt?
- l don't know
560
00:54:35,670 --> 00:54:38,310
- You didn't call?
- Not yet
561
00:54:38,310 --> 00:54:41,390
- You are so...
- So what?
562
00:54:41,390 --> 00:54:43,630
Neglectful, don't you care?
563
00:54:43,630 --> 00:54:47,630
Of course l do! Oh don't you dare
accuse me, fuck of course l care
564
00:54:49,150 --> 00:54:53,150
l care too much, l love my aunt, l'll call right
now, oh fuck, it's far too late, but, anyhow...
565
00:54:57,110 --> 00:55:01,110
How could you say
those things to Grace?
566
00:56:31,790 --> 00:56:35,790
- What's going on?
- l can't go on like this
567
00:56:36,830 --> 00:56:40,830
Like what? What did
l say? What did l miss?
568
00:56:42,070 --> 00:56:46,070
l need you, l need
your body, need it so...
569
00:56:46,710 --> 00:56:49,790
What's wrong?
And don't ring off again, don't go
570
00:56:49,790 --> 00:56:53,790
- This is impossible
- What is? Tell me!
571
00:56:55,270 --> 00:56:59,270
Look in your heart and you will surely
see that l have... acted... with sincerity
572
00:57:09,030 --> 00:57:13,030
But now the time has
come to say... good-bye
573
00:57:13,390 --> 00:57:17,390
What? To say what?
574
00:57:18,190 --> 00:57:22,190
You can't... but... why?
575
00:57:34,150 --> 00:57:38,150
My body's been in your possession now
576
00:57:38,550 --> 00:57:42,550
l'm asking for it back, it once was mine
577
00:57:44,110 --> 00:57:48,110
But, everything l said was true
578
00:57:49,510 --> 00:57:53,510
However shipped you
yes, you have been... divine
579
00:58:08,550 --> 00:58:12,550
l'm hearing something strange
behind your honeyed words
580
00:58:13,950 --> 00:58:17,950
l feel a doubt so strong
it's poisoning my mind...
581
00:58:20,070 --> 00:58:23,470
This bitter question must come out
582
00:58:23,470 --> 00:58:27,470
Asking's way beneath me, brother, for
you said there was no other one for you
583
00:58:28,790 --> 00:58:32,790
l was your secret country
584
00:58:33,630 --> 00:58:37,510
And the land of all my longings
585
00:58:37,510 --> 00:58:41,510
So... who is she?
586
00:58:42,710 --> 00:58:46,710
No female body tempts me
please believe me when l say that
587
00:58:49,390 --> 00:58:53,390
l'd never leave you for another woman
588
00:58:54,510 --> 00:58:58,510
Who could be the scarlet
goddess you have been for me?
589
00:59:07,510 --> 00:59:10,950
Ah but l never asked for this
but l never asked for this
590
00:59:10,950 --> 00:59:13,790
To be blinded groping for a kiss
to be blinded groping for a kiss
591
00:59:13,790 --> 00:59:17,790
l am on fire
592
00:59:18,030 --> 00:59:20,150
l want to hit and attack
593
00:59:20,150 --> 00:59:23,630
l want to stab you in the back and
make you feel the power of vengeance
594
00:59:23,630 --> 00:59:26,310
Sweet-talking man with your...
your... hypocrite romance
595
00:59:26,310 --> 00:59:30,310
A hypocrite? l am not the lying kind
596
00:59:31,310 --> 00:59:35,310
What can l do to purify your mind?
l need to wash you, yes, from head to toe
597
00:59:38,870 --> 00:59:42,350
- What did you say?
- How can you doubt me so?
598
00:59:42,350 --> 00:59:46,350
Wash me? Do you see some dirt?
Can you not see how your words hurt?
599
00:59:47,830 --> 00:59:50,910
- Divinity...
- Don't call me that, it isn't me
600
00:59:50,910 --> 00:59:54,470
Through long afternoons
l've felt your lovely arms about me
601
00:59:54,470 --> 00:59:58,470
Tasted you and known the charms
of flesh on flesh, of skin of lovely skin
602
00:59:59,670 --> 01:00:02,990
But when your blood is calling
it's a sin to turn away from them
603
01:00:02,990 --> 01:00:06,990
Now wait, blood?
Sin? What's happening?
604
01:00:09,270 --> 01:00:12,430
l have remembered who l am
605
01:00:12,430 --> 01:00:16,430
The old and wisest men explain that
all the love a woman gives distracts us
606
01:00:18,110 --> 01:00:22,110
We are told that riches wait for those who
rise above temptation to obey a higher call
607
01:00:23,350 --> 01:00:26,590
you're asking me
to turn away to fall from grace
608
01:00:26,590 --> 01:00:30,590
You cannot look me in the face
and say that l fall from grace
609
01:00:34,670 --> 01:00:38,670
Do you really think l am unclean?
A second-hand cunt, a fucking machine?
610
01:00:41,310 --> 01:00:45,310
A dirty distraction
somehow obscene?
611
01:00:48,030 --> 01:00:49,910
l am not only your goddess or queen
612
01:00:49,910 --> 01:00:53,910
l'm a twenty-first century any damn thing
that l choose, including your teacher or king!
613
01:00:54,150 --> 01:00:56,750
l named you goddess
and queen, l crowned you
614
01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:59,990
Fuck you!
615
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:03,990
- Who do you think you are?
- l draw a line: you're not a king!
616
01:01:04,190 --> 01:01:06,190
That role is mine!
617
01:01:06,190 --> 01:01:10,190
Oh sir, excuse me, l forgot
you are a son and l am not
618
01:01:12,030 --> 01:01:14,990
l am a daughter so inferior
619
01:01:14,990 --> 01:01:18,990
lt's you, your people feel superior
you want to rule you want to spoil
620
01:01:23,110 --> 01:01:26,790
You want our land, you want our oil
621
01:01:26,790 --> 01:01:29,590
You call that civilize?
622
01:01:29,590 --> 01:01:33,590
Your country is a dragon breathing flames
land of corporate fantasies, brand names
623
01:01:34,950 --> 01:01:38,150
Big Mac, Big burger, yes big everything
624
01:01:38,150 --> 01:01:42,150
And you blonde American are
too thin, too fit, not womanly
625
01:01:45,470 --> 01:01:49,150
And then: your skin too pale, insipid
626
01:01:49,150 --> 01:01:53,150
And your eyes, too blue, why
do you make me dream of you?
627
01:01:59,190 --> 01:02:03,190
So we are at war
628
01:02:06,990 --> 01:02:09,590
- You terrorist
- lmperialist
629
01:02:09,590 --> 01:02:11,550
- Bigot!
- Bitch!
630
01:02:11,550 --> 01:02:15,550
How did it come to this?
631
01:02:17,190 --> 01:02:20,510
You are confusing me with them
632
01:02:20,510 --> 01:02:24,150
Look, l am not just an
American, l am lrish too
633
01:02:24,150 --> 01:02:27,790
So what? You all have
roots somewhere
634
01:02:27,790 --> 01:02:31,790
But have forgot that you
are anything but powerful
635
01:02:32,710 --> 01:02:36,270
The big Boss
636
01:02:36,270 --> 01:02:40,270
You hear our children screams but
feel no lust because they are not yours
637
01:02:41,230 --> 01:02:42,950
That is not fair
638
01:02:42,950 --> 01:02:45,950
The things that they have
done have not been in my name
639
01:02:45,950 --> 01:02:49,950
l do not feel pride
l feel a deepening shame
640
01:02:51,910 --> 01:02:55,910
Look, l am an individual, l am me
641
01:02:58,030 --> 01:03:01,270
Me this, me that
642
01:03:01,270 --> 01:03:05,270
- Each one of that is we, we are not alone
- l know, look l agree, l am not your enemy?
643
01:03:09,070 --> 01:03:11,190
How did this start?
644
01:03:11,190 --> 01:03:15,190
From Elvis to Eminem
Warhol's art, l know your stories
645
01:03:18,830 --> 01:03:22,830
Know your songs by heart
but do you know mine? No
646
01:03:23,230 --> 01:03:27,230
Every time, l make the effort
and l learn to rhyme in your English
647
01:03:30,150 --> 01:03:34,150
And do you know a word
of my language, even one?
648
01:03:35,190 --> 01:03:39,150
Have you heard that 'al-gebra'
was an Arabic man?
649
01:03:39,150 --> 01:03:43,150
You have read the Bible
have you read the Koran?
650
01:03:47,110 --> 01:03:51,110
ls this the reason you're rejecting me?
651
01:03:51,150 --> 01:03:55,150
Rejection? No, l don't reject
but, yes, l do demand respect
652
01:03:57,950 --> 01:04:01,950
You say you want me, but as what?
Your exotic, something other?
653
01:04:04,470 --> 01:04:08,470
Your, toy-boy, pet, your secret lover?
654
01:04:11,190 --> 01:04:14,990
You buy me with
a credit card in restaurants
655
01:04:14,990 --> 01:04:18,150
You want me hard so you can melt
656
01:04:18,150 --> 01:04:19,870
Why can't you see that being wanted
657
01:04:19,870 --> 01:04:23,870
not for me, nor for my noble
ancestry, but for my flesh
658
01:04:24,350 --> 01:04:27,270
Erodes my dignity
659
01:04:27,270 --> 01:04:31,230
Your pride is hurt, you
feeling small and wounded
660
01:04:31,230 --> 01:04:35,230
But can l walk tall when people spit
into my face because they fear me?
661
01:04:36,270 --> 01:04:38,630
Where's my place of pride
and honor in this game
662
01:04:38,630 --> 01:04:42,630
where even to pronounce
my name is an impossibility?
663
01:04:48,110 --> 01:04:52,110
l hear you, tell me more
664
01:05:06,190 --> 01:05:10,190
ln your land l am not seen
665
01:05:13,670 --> 01:05:17,670
l am un-manned
666
01:05:19,070 --> 01:05:23,070
You can't imagine with the
white-skinned sense of privilege
667
01:05:24,070 --> 01:05:28,070
and human rights you take for granted
668
01:05:29,390 --> 01:05:33,390
How l fight for every little thing
669
01:05:50,430 --> 01:05:54,430
Oh no
670
01:05:54,950 --> 01:05:58,950
Oh no, oh no
671
01:06:00,110 --> 01:06:02,830
Bye, l have to go
672
01:06:02,830 --> 01:06:06,830
l didn't call, l didn't call
673
01:06:09,990 --> 01:06:13,990
l didn't call
674
01:07:07,590 --> 01:07:11,590
You're late again
don't worry, never mind
675
01:07:11,630 --> 01:07:15,270
l know you're busy
it's the kind of life you lead
676
01:07:15,270 --> 01:07:17,870
But then, you chose it
so l guess you want it
677
01:07:17,870 --> 01:07:21,870
Always to and fro, you
never stop, unlike myself
678
01:07:22,350 --> 01:07:26,190
l'm here to stay, for just
how long, who knows
679
01:07:26,190 --> 01:07:30,190
l fear it could be ages, it creeps
up on you this funny business
680
01:07:31,390 --> 01:07:35,390
First a creak or two, your knees perhaps
and, bingo! Then you're old and in a bed
681
01:07:38,110 --> 01:07:41,670
The thing is, no-one told
me l'd have all this time
682
01:07:41,670 --> 01:07:45,510
but far too late to use it
for the things l dreamed of
683
01:07:45,510 --> 01:07:47,870
Oh auntie
684
01:07:47,870 --> 01:07:51,870
Fate Delivers upside
down and back to front
685
01:07:52,430 --> 01:07:56,430
l've more to say than ever, but they shunt
me back and forth all day from bed to chair
686
01:07:57,390 --> 01:07:59,710
and back to bed again, it isn't fair
687
01:07:59,710 --> 01:08:03,710
All this experience l'd like to share
not that it all adds up, not that you care
688
01:08:06,910 --> 01:08:10,910
l'd better stop, it's time for you to go already
isn't it? Five minutes, oh, well maybe ten...
689
01:08:13,030 --> 01:08:16,830
you see, l never know when
you'll be here again, it's such a blow
690
01:08:16,830 --> 01:08:20,830
Each time you leave, it's hardly
worth your while to come at all, l mean it
691
01:08:20,830 --> 01:08:24,830
Don't you smile like that
oh you'll be sorry when l'm dead
692
01:08:27,150 --> 01:08:31,150
l'm only joking, dear, l only said that
for a laugh, although, of course it's true
693
01:08:34,030 --> 01:08:38,030
The questions that you never asked...
yes, you will certainly regret a thing or two
694
01:08:48,710 --> 01:08:52,710
No one explained to me when l was
young why time only goes forward
695
01:08:55,430 --> 01:08:59,430
Hold your tongue was what they said when
l asked them about the universe and such
696
01:09:00,030 --> 01:09:03,510
And why we can't do all that much
about it when we make a mess of things
697
01:09:03,510 --> 01:09:07,510
lf only a mistake could be corrected
wind life back and start again...
698
01:09:09,470 --> 01:09:13,470
The second time we'd know the
art of living, but we only get one go
699
01:09:14,710 --> 01:09:18,710
No dress rehearsals, this one is
the show and we don't know it...
700
01:09:21,950 --> 01:09:25,950
l don't see the rhyme or reason
in this so-called grand design...
701
01:09:27,950 --> 01:09:31,950
But then l don't believe, there is no sign
of him up there as far as l'm concerned
702
01:09:34,950 --> 01:09:38,950
See... if there's one thing that l've
truly learned it's this: it's down to me
703
01:09:44,910 --> 01:09:48,910
And you, of course
704
01:09:58,950 --> 01:10:02,950
Each one of us is it, we are the source
of all the bad... and of the good things too
705
01:10:13,390 --> 01:10:17,390
Well, out with it, what's happening with you?
At last you've got some color in your cheeks
706
01:10:17,430 --> 01:10:19,230
l haven't seen you
look this way in weeks
707
01:10:19,230 --> 01:10:21,870
Or maybe months
it even could be years
708
01:10:21,870 --> 01:10:25,870
Don't tell me... you're in
love, aren't you my dear?
709
01:10:27,670 --> 01:10:31,510
Not with that English
chap, what a mistake!
710
01:10:31,510 --> 01:10:34,390
l knew it from the start
711
01:10:34,390 --> 01:10:36,870
lt only takes another one to come along
712
01:10:36,870 --> 01:10:40,870
and then your heart tells you that
frankly speaking, men are not all equal
713
01:10:41,790 --> 01:10:43,990
Some are better, love
714
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:47,990
lt's just another trick from that one up above
if He exists, which He, or She, does not
715
01:10:51,550 --> 01:10:55,550
Unless l didn't notice, or forgot
but l've a perfect memory...
716
01:10:57,110 --> 01:11:01,110
l lie here running through the lot, l think
l'll die with all that information tucked away
717
01:11:03,990 --> 01:11:07,990
l'd trade in all of it for
just one day, in Cuba
718
01:11:08,150 --> 01:11:12,150
- Auntie? What did you say?
- You heard me, Cuba
719
01:11:13,190 --> 01:11:17,190
l'd love to see the place, the people
the reality of how it all turned out
720
01:11:19,950 --> 01:11:23,950
And Castro... Castro gave us hope he did
oh yes, he's better than the Pope...
721
01:11:27,030 --> 01:11:30,070
l'd love to shake his hand
722
01:11:30,070 --> 01:11:33,150
- You should go soon
- Yes
723
01:11:33,150 --> 01:11:37,150
l tell you, we'll be living on the moon
before we have another go like that
724
01:11:37,550 --> 01:11:41,550
A great big dream that's fallen pretty flat
in all the other countries where they tried
725
01:11:43,310 --> 01:11:44,950
they'll regret it
726
01:11:44,950 --> 01:11:47,950
Communism died, but
what came in it's place?
727
01:11:47,950 --> 01:11:51,950
A load of greed, a life spent
longing for things you don't need
728
01:12:50,990 --> 01:12:54,990
lf and when l die
l want to see you cry
729
01:12:55,910 --> 01:12:59,910
l want to see you tear your hair
your howls of anguish fill the air
730
01:13:00,230 --> 01:13:04,190
l want to see you beat your breast
and rent your clothes and all the rest
731
01:13:04,190 --> 01:13:08,190
And, sobbing, fall upon my bed
l want to know that l am dead
732
01:13:11,990 --> 01:13:15,990
l want to know l'm part of you and that
you cannot bear me being torn away
733
01:13:17,150 --> 01:13:18,830
l want to see you dressed in black
734
01:13:18,830 --> 01:13:22,150
with red-rimmed eyes from
sleepless nights of grieving
735
01:13:22,150 --> 01:13:24,790
l want to hear you protest at me leaving
736
01:13:24,790 --> 01:13:28,350
l want to see you in each
other's arms, and wailing
737
01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:30,590
See you kick a chair
and punch the wall
738
01:13:30,590 --> 01:13:34,110
and see you, moaning, fall
upon the ground and scream
739
01:13:34,110 --> 01:13:38,110
l want to know this isn't just a dream
740
01:13:40,750 --> 01:13:44,750
l want my death to be just like my life
741
01:13:45,310 --> 01:13:48,430
l want the mess, the
struggle, and the strife
742
01:13:48,430 --> 01:13:51,310
l want to fight and
see you fight for me
743
01:13:51,310 --> 01:13:55,030
l want to hear your last regrets, the
things you wish you'd done and said
744
01:13:55,030 --> 01:13:58,710
ln fact l'd like that
just before l'm dead
745
01:13:58,710 --> 01:14:02,710
Don't let them put you off
or make you go, or say it's bad
746
01:14:03,270 --> 01:14:06,470
For me, or makes it hard for
me to leave... it won't be true
747
01:14:06,470 --> 01:14:10,470
l want to see you grieve
748
01:14:12,790 --> 01:14:16,710
Don't let me drown
in silence all pious and polite...
749
01:14:16,710 --> 01:14:20,710
Let's make a lot of noise!
A different kind of light will fill the room
750
01:14:21,590 --> 01:14:25,590
l want my death to wake
you up and clean you out
751
01:14:27,790 --> 01:14:31,390
And as l end l'll hear you shout
752
01:14:31,390 --> 01:14:35,390
- No, no
- But l will go
753
01:14:36,950 --> 01:14:40,950
No, please don't die
754
01:14:55,830 --> 01:14:59,830
Life is so short and precious, let's
not waste what we've been given
755
01:15:02,910 --> 01:15:06,030
Look, we have not faced the truth
756
01:15:06,030 --> 01:15:10,030
Even the rages we express perhaps
contain the seeds of happiness
757
01:15:12,750 --> 01:15:14,710
- Let's go... let's go to Cuba
- What?
758
01:15:14,710 --> 01:15:16,310
Far away
759
01:15:16,310 --> 01:15:20,310
From everyone, we've never spent a day
and night together, only an hour or two
760
01:15:22,870 --> 01:15:26,870
Let's take the time
for just me and you...
761
01:15:27,110 --> 01:15:31,110
- l'm in Beirut
- You are?
762
01:15:32,190 --> 01:15:35,550
l have a friend we trained
and worked together
763
01:15:35,550 --> 01:15:39,550
ln the end he stayed
he's married, now he has a son
764
01:15:40,310 --> 01:15:43,110
There's only one life, this is it
765
01:15:43,110 --> 01:15:47,110
Let's seize the time, l'll send
a ticket to you... l'll go on ahead...
766
01:15:48,790 --> 01:15:51,670
- lt's many years...
- Since you have been there?
767
01:15:51,670 --> 01:15:55,670
My auntie died, she
died, my aunt is dead
768
01:15:56,270 --> 01:16:00,270
You'll have a lot to say, a lot
to share, l'll send the ticket anyway
769
01:16:25,030 --> 01:16:29,030
Dirt doesn't go, it just
gets moved around
770
01:16:31,150 --> 01:16:35,150
Some things get burnt
or buried in the ground
771
01:16:35,270 --> 01:16:39,270
But fire makes smoke
and soot and greasy grime
772
01:16:39,830 --> 01:16:42,790
And buried stuff
crops up after a time...
773
01:16:42,790 --> 01:16:46,790
lt travels slowly, one could say it creeps
774
01:16:48,830 --> 01:16:52,830
lt's all the water underneath, it seeps
775
01:16:53,550 --> 01:16:57,550
God gave us eyes that do not
see too much or we'd go mad
776
01:16:59,790 --> 01:17:03,790
We'd never want to touch
a bed again, a sofa or a chair
777
01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:08,830
lf we could see the
things that live in there
778
01:17:10,310 --> 01:17:14,310
There's millions of them
loads of things with legs
779
01:17:14,910 --> 01:17:18,910
They fornicate and then
they lay their eggs...
780
01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:22,990
They think our dirt is lovely, they
survive by eating what we shed
781
01:17:23,110 --> 01:17:27,110
They are alive because
bits of us are dead
782
01:17:36,310 --> 01:17:40,310
Now, smaller than the mites are germs
783
01:17:40,510 --> 01:17:44,510
Well, we do what we can, we scrub
and scrub but they fly when we sneeze
784
01:17:46,670 --> 01:17:50,070
on drops of moisture
packed out with disease
785
01:17:50,070 --> 01:17:53,150
then all we have to do is take a breath
786
01:17:53,150 --> 01:17:56,550
and they're inside us
fighting to the death
787
01:17:56,550 --> 01:18:00,550
lt's not just germs, it seems
they're not the worst
788
01:18:01,150 --> 01:18:05,150
There's viruses, some say they were the first
things to exist, and 'cause they are so small
789
01:18:08,190 --> 01:18:10,550
They can't be cleaned
away, no, not at all
790
01:18:10,550 --> 01:18:14,550
Not ever, that's why, really, in the end
there's no such thing as spotless...
791
01:18:18,110 --> 01:18:22,110
You just send the dirt to
somewhere else, push it around
792
01:18:22,230 --> 01:18:26,230
The work is endless
that is what l've found
793
01:18:32,550 --> 01:18:35,870
Maybe this earth is just a ball of fluff
794
01:18:35,870 --> 01:18:39,150
Some great big cleaner
out there said: enough
795
01:18:39,150 --> 01:18:43,150
And that is how we all survived, why not?
We're just the parasites that God forgot
796
01:18:46,710 --> 01:18:49,950
The point is this, we never disappear
despite it being what we all most fear
797
01:18:49,950 --> 01:18:51,830
We're certainly not
finished when we die
798
01:18:51,830 --> 01:18:55,830
However hard the undertakers try
every single creature feeds another
799
01:18:56,870 --> 01:19:00,870
Everyone is everybody's mother...
or, at the very least, a kind of host
800
01:19:01,230 --> 01:19:05,230
When we expire perhaps we
change, at most, but never vanish
801
01:19:05,230 --> 01:19:09,230
No, we leave a stain
a fingerprint, some mess
802
01:19:11,670 --> 01:19:15,670
Perhaps some pain, some fear
or doubt in someone else's heart
803
01:19:18,910 --> 01:19:22,910
Mum?
804
01:19:28,270 --> 01:19:32,270
We leave a mess
in fact, when we depart
805
01:26:14,350 --> 01:26:18,350
God if you exist...
l need to confess
806
01:26:24,710 --> 01:26:28,550
Please speak to me, just once
don't make me guess your point of view
807
01:26:28,550 --> 01:26:31,470
for l might get it wrong...
808
01:26:31,470 --> 01:26:35,470
l know l have strayed so far
l don't belong in any church of yours
809
01:26:36,070 --> 01:26:40,070
l sang the song of science
yes, l sang it every day
810
01:26:41,550 --> 01:26:45,550
But, l could argue, that is how l pray
811
01:26:46,070 --> 01:26:49,070
For twenty years, God, can it be?
812
01:26:49,070 --> 01:26:53,070
l've cut, dissected, carefully and with
respect each living cell a source of wonder
813
01:26:56,350 --> 01:27:00,350
Yes l tried to see
to penetrate your mystery
814
01:27:02,510 --> 01:27:06,510
The point is, God, you never lie
but you have secrets so have l
815
01:27:11,510 --> 01:27:15,030
Now all l was has
turned to ash and doubt
816
01:27:15,030 --> 01:27:19,030
Others tasted me and
even stabbed me up
817
01:27:19,070 --> 01:27:22,870
First is blossom, then there is decay
818
01:27:22,870 --> 01:27:26,870
lmpermanence will never go away
819
01:27:27,630 --> 01:27:31,630
ln fact it is the only certainty
820
01:27:32,310 --> 01:27:36,310
There come a time when
l used to be but not quite yet
821
01:27:44,630 --> 01:27:48,630
Oh God
822
01:27:48,630 --> 01:27:52,630
Can you forgive me for not...
for not... believing in you?
823
01:27:58,670 --> 01:28:00,990
- Seniora?
- Si?
824
01:28:00,990 --> 01:28:04,990
Senior
825
01:30:05,870 --> 01:30:09,430
When you look closer
nothing goes away
826
01:30:09,430 --> 01:30:13,430
lt changes, see, like night
becomes the day and day the night
827
01:30:14,990 --> 01:30:17,910
but even that's not true:
828
01:30:17,910 --> 01:30:20,430
lt's really all about your point of view
829
01:30:20,430 --> 01:30:24,230
Depending where you're
standing on the earth...
830
01:30:24,230 --> 01:30:26,590
ln the end, it simply isn't worth
831
01:30:26,590 --> 01:30:28,950
Your while to try and
clean your life away
832
01:30:28,950 --> 01:30:32,950
You can't, for, everything
you do or say is there forever
833
01:30:33,990 --> 01:30:36,910
lt leaves evidence
834
01:30:36,910 --> 01:30:40,910
ln fact it's really only common sense
there's no such thing as nothing, not at all
835
01:30:41,990 --> 01:30:45,990
lt may be really very
very small but it's still there
836
01:30:47,470 --> 01:30:53,470
ln fact l think l'd guess that 'no'
does not exist, there's only 'yes'
837
01:31:25,000 --> 01:31:28,000
Subtitled By:
Nizar Ezzeddine
838
01:31:28,500 --> 01:31:31,500
== Yes ==
70010
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