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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,548
(playful orchestral music)
2
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,289
(dramatic piano music)
3
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,077
(audience sobbing)
4
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,842
(tense piano music)
5
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,588
(audience sobbing)
6
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,761
- You leave her alone, or I'll
punch you right in the nose!
7
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,762
- Sit down!
8
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:51,565
Sit down!
9
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:56,570
(suspenseful piano music)
10
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,953
(woman shrieks)
11
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,424
(Willie sobs)
12
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,681
(slide whistle blows)
13
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,302
- Any time you make a
date with me, keep it!
14
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,889
By the way, did you put your
aunt's $5,000 in the bank?
15
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:16,723
- The money.
16
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,526
The money.
17
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,851
- Tickets please.
18
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:20,654
- Tickets.
19
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:22,729
- How many?
20
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:23,532
- One.
21
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,524
You're cute.
22
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:26,608
- You're silly.
23
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:27,651
- So's your old man.
24
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,788
(giggleS)
25
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:36,586
(dramatic piano music)
(audience sobbing)
26
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,917
(shrieks)
27
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,054
(mumbles)
28
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,480
(slide whistle blows)
29
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,685
- Willie, do you realize that a person
30
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,144
that puts money in this moving picture
31
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,980
business is gonna make a fortune?
32
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:05,814
- Give me that money.
33
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,648
- Now--
34
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,482
- I gotta put that in the bank
35
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,400
like my aunt told me to do.
36
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,484
- Willie, listen to this.
37
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,610
See it right here?
38
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,987
"Do you want to become rich?
39
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:15,365
If so, invest in this
new entertainment medium.
40
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,075
"Motion pictures.
41
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,537
"$5,000 cash buys a
fully equipped studio."
42
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,707
Willie, opportunity is
knocking at your door!
43
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,791
- Tell them I'm not home.
44
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,084
I went to the bank.
45
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,003
- Wait a minute Willie,
have you no foresight?
46
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,671
I can see it up in lights now.
47
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,381
Piper's Phenomenal Pictures.
48
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,632
Willie Piper, President.
49
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,301
Harry Pierce, General Manager.
50
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,720
That's what'll happen if
you give me the $5,000.
51
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,179
- And if I give you the $5,000
52
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,639
I'll be Willie Piper the pauper.
53
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,391
- Now look, we're only
borrowing the money.
54
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,101
We'll pay your aunt back in no time.
55
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,520
There's a fortune made
in these comedy pictures.
56
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,354
- Comedies?
57
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,188
- Yeah.
58
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,273
- Oh Harry, I don't like comedies.
59
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,900
I like those dramatic pictures.
60
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,068
Where the little girl says to her papa
61
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,070
papa, please papa, don't beat me.
62
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,280
(somber violin music)
63
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,489
I beg of you papa!
64
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,616
Don't beat me papa!
65
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,075
I'll get the money for you papa!
66
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,077
Don't beat me papa!
67
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,871
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
68
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,539
Beating up your son like that.
69
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,417
(dramatic sting)
70
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,128
(drum roll)
71
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,922
(cymbals crash)
72
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,007
If I ever catch you
beating that boy again,
73
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:17,010
I'll report you to the
juvenile authorities.
74
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,565
(playful orchestral music)
75
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,317
- Hey.
76
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,267
Did you get hurt?
77
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,019
- What's the idea of having me beat up?
78
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,228
- I didn't mean to have you beat up.
79
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,480
Here, you can take the money.
80
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,191
- I'll take the money
after I have you beat up.
81
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,652
Oh don't, don't strike
your poor old father.
82
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,947
Don't strike your poor old dad.
83
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:37,948
I'm your father, son.
84
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:38,865
Don't hit me.
85
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,158
- Harry, here, listen.
86
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,660
You can take the money,
but don't have me beat up.
87
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,911
(somber violin music)
88
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,037
Look, don't have me beat up!
89
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,580
Please don't have me beat up!
90
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,967
Don't beat me up!
91
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,293
- What did I just tell you?
92
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,338
(drum roll)
93
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,976
(cymbals clash)
94
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,348
(playful orchestral music)
95
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,766
- You did it again.
96
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:05,892
- I'm sorry, Harry.
97
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,645
Here, you can take my aunt's
money and buy the studio.
98
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,854
- Thanks.
99
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:10,939
- Could I have a receipt?
100
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,315
- With pleasure.
101
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,661
(bell rings)
102
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,117
- Now if you'll sign right here Mr. Piper,
103
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,785
this will complete the transaction.
104
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,412
You will become the proud owner
105
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,956
of the best studio in the country.
106
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,958
- Now Mr. Gorman, if this is such
107
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,711
a good studio, why do you want to sell it?
108
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,462
- Mr. Piper, that question shows
109
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,048
what a shrewd businessman you are.
110
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,718
The fact of the matter is I
happen to own two studios.
111
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:43,555
This one in West Orange, New
Jersey, and one in Brooklyn.
112
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,807
The long trip is just too much for me.
113
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,529
So I'm selling you the
studio in West Orange.
114
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,815
- Harry, don't you think we
ought to see the studio first?
115
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,775
- Now Mr. Gorman is a very busy man.
116
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,694
- Eh eh eh eh, Mr. Piper is
117
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,738
perfectly right, he should see it.
118
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,574
And busy though I am,
I'm gonna show it to him.
119
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,461
Here's a picture of it.
120
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,918
- [Willie] Say, what's this sign "Edison"?
121
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,670
- That's my middle name.
122
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,422
Joseph Edison Gorman.
123
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,893
Now will you please sign here?
124
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,901
(door closes)
125
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,981
Mr. Piper, Mr. Pierce, I want you
126
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,859
to meet one of my leading ladies.
127
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,402
Miss Van Cleef.
128
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,529
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
129
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,947
- How do you do?
130
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,200
- Darling, I don't want
you to get too upset.
131
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,952
I've just sold the West
Orange studio to Mr. Piper.
132
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,372
- Oh thank heavens, I hated that trip.
133
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,249
The ferry made me seasick.
134
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,667
- Well best of luck, gentlemen.
135
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,670
And if there's anything I can
do to help, just let me know.
136
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,724
- Lots of success to you.
137
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,981
I withdrew all the money from the bank.
138
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,399
Let's make our getaway before those
139
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,026
suckers scream to the Bunko Squad.
140
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,862
- They won't bother us, I've
got a new deal figured out.
141
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,948
- Always a new deal, a new bunch
142
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,950
of suckers, and then on the run away.
143
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,910
I can't take it any Longer, Joe.
144
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,662
- No more running.
145
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,205
We're going legitimate.
146
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,832
- The cops will be glad to hear that
147
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,917
after they put you away
for a long stretch.
148
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,293
- The cops will be looking for
149
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,754
Joe Gorman who no longer exists.
150
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,589
Instead he will be.
151
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,967
(Russian accent) The famous European
152
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,104
director Sergei Toumanoff.
153
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,638
- How are you gonna do this?
154
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,472
With mirrors?
155
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,306
- Nah.
156
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,976
Nose job, a mustache, a Marcel toupee,
157
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,727
that'll do the business.
158
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,229
- Well what about the directing?
159
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,605
The only directing you've ever done
160
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,399
was to steer some sucker to his bank.
161
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,067
- Look Leota, in Hollywood it isn't
162
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,361
what you are, it's what
they think you are.
163
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,321
We'll arrive there with such a fanfare
164
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,365
of publicity that every Hollywood
165
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,336
bigwig will roll out the red carpet.
166
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:15,039
- The way you say it, it
sounds wonderful, Joe.
167
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,595
(playful orchestral music)
168
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,651
(pained groan)
169
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,144
- Not my finger!
170
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,197
Hit the head!
171
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,951
(bell rings)
172
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,377
- Two more suckers.
173
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,955
- Hey, just a minute, mister.
174
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:56,998
- I know.
175
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,918
You bought the studio
from a man named Gorman.
176
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:00,793
- You're right.
177
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,545
- How did you know?
178
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,932
- Follow me, sir.
179
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,264
Look at these.
180
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,475
- "Cushman Studio."
181
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,111
"Grant Productions."
182
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,856
"Struthers Kinema Company."
183
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,691
"Brent Studios."
184
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,692
I don't get it.
185
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,110
Willie bought this studio.
186
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,404
I have the bill of sale
right here in my pocket.
187
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,365
- They all had a bill of sale.
188
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:33,826
This plant belongs to
Mr. Thomas A. Edison.
189
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,705
This is the first motion
picture studio ever built.
190
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,509
It dates back to 1893.
191
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,419
It isn't used anymore.
192
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,214
- No, but Gorman used
it to swindle Willie.
193
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,340
- Now just a minute.
194
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,051
How am I gonna get my $5,000
back to give to my aunt?
195
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,512
- You better report it to the Bunko Squad.
196
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,764
Good day and I wish you luck.
197
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,974
- Thank you sir.
198
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,141
What am I gonna tell my aunt?
199
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,184
- Tell her anything.
200
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,562
It's my own fault for letting
you talk me into this thing.
201
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:05,358
Come on, we'll try and get your money.
202
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,443
What are you gonna do with that sign?
203
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,653
- Put it here with the other ones.
204
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,364
(harpsichord melody into drum crash)
205
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:14,877
(playful orchestral music)
206
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,203
Hey, when we get to California
207
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,663
how do you know Gorman's gonna be there?
208
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:19,789
- We'll wait for him.
209
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,666
You heard what the detective said.
210
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,209
They traced them all the way to the train
211
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,044
that was heading for the coast.
212
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,587
And then they lost track of them.
213
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:30,341
- I wish I'd lost him before he found me.
214
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,313
(train approaching)
215
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,701
(train whistle blows)
216
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,801
- Why didn't you tell
me the train was coming?
217
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,553
- Where do you think that
whistle was coming from?
218
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,773
A peanut stand?
219
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,021
Woo woo woo woo!
220
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,607
(chuckles) I was trying
to scare you a little bit.
221
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,409
- Yeah.
222
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:37,241
Come on, if we're gonna get
Gorman, let's get going.
223
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,077
- Harry, my foot is stuck.
224
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,287
Will you help me?
225
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,288
- What's the matter?
226
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,623
- Foot's stuck.
227
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:44,999
- Let me see.
228
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,137
(train whistle blows)
229
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,714
Don't get excited.
230
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,007
I'll throw the switch.
231
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,560
- Hurry up will ya?
232
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,805
Throw the switch.
233
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,191
Throw the switch.
234
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,226
Oof!
235
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,019
(bell dings)
236
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,063
You made it tighter Harry!
237
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,524
Get up Harry, don't play like that now!
238
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,734
Pull the switch will you, Harry!
239
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,069
Harry!
240
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,456
(stammering)
241
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,974
(train whistle blows)
242
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,201
- Willie.
243
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,036
Willie!
244
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:56,789
Willie!
245
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,585
Willie.
246
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,372
Willie, tell me where it hurts.
247
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,124
Where does it hurt, Willie?
248
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,001
I'll get you to California if I have
249
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,587
to carry you all the way myself.
250
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:16,142
(playful orchestral music)
251
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,002
(upbeat banjo music)
252
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,954
- Going my way, b-b-b-b-fellas?
253
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,456
- We sure are.
254
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,666
- Why you dirty double-crosser.
255
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,543
(bell dings)
256
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,754
No you don't, no you don't.
257
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,297
No thanks pop, we're in a hurry.
258
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:57,965
We're going to California.
259
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,258
-So am I.
260
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,428
Sure would enjoy company
on the t-t-t-t-trip.
261
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,471
- Yeah, but we're in a hurry.
262
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,430
Thanks a lot.
263
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,767
- Well good b-b-b, good b-b-b, so long!
264
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,976
- Aw come on.
265
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,020
Let's go with the poor
old man to California.
266
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,272
- We can get there faster by walking.
267
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,106
- Walking?
268
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:14,941
- Certainly.
269
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,692
No you don't, no you don't!
270
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,194
Pick up those bags.
271
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,747
Pick up those bags.
272
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,916
Pick them up.
273
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:26,796
(slowed down orchestral music)
274
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,387
- I didn't know we were
scheduled to stop here.
275
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,305
Next stop's supposed to be Los Angeles.
276
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,391
(knocking)
277
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,193
Come.
278
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,738
- Mr. Toumanoff?
279
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,982
- (Russian accent) Yes?
280
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,942
- We're Los Angeles police, come with us.
281
00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:00,444
- Well I do not understand.
282
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,279
- You will.
283
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,448
Come on, you're holding up the train.
284
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,201
- You must give me time to change.
285
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,547
You will wait outside please.
286
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,375
(door closes)
287
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:17,763
- We didn't get very far did we "Sergei"?
288
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:25,553
(train whistle blows)
289
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:28,357
- [Train Whistle Voice] 23 skidoo!
290
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,518
- (Russian accent) Would
you mind telling me
291
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,437
why I am under arrest?
292
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,607
- My dear Mr. Toumanoff,
you are not under arrest.
293
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,818
I am Rudolph Snavely, President
of Amalgamated Pictures.
294
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,195
I took this means of
outwitting my competitors
295
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:47,422
in order to sign you to your
first Hollywood contract.
296
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,452
- But the police.
297
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,679
- They are your escorts
to the City of the Cinema.
298
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,667
- I'm going to like it here.
299
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,803
Come, my dear.
300
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,276
(train chugging)
301
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:27,114
- Hey Willie, now it's your turn to ride.
302
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,283
Not me, the train.
303
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,086
Come on.
304
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,339
Close that other door.
305
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:48,312
We don't want no railroad
detective to catch us in here.
306
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,930
- Harry, we're in Los Angeles already.
307
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,401
- Boy, we sure made good time.
308
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:02,118
(falling piano melody)
309
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,250
California here we are.
310
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,878
(dramatic sting)
311
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,800
(womp womp melody)
312
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,044
Pick up those bags.
313
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,421
We gotta get back on the train.
314
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:24,255
Pick them up.
315
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,057
Come on.
316
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,598
Be careful, boy.
317
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,068
Throw me the bags.
318
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,320
- Yow!
319
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,063
- Willie!
320
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,450
- [Willie] Harry!
321
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,536
- All right, I'm coming.
322
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:54,837
Hold on.
323
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,166
- Hey you hobos, where do
you think you're going?
324
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,460
Get off before I throw you off!
325
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,546
(suspenseful orchestral music)
326
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:06,630
- Come on, Willie.
327
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,100
Take it easy, boy.
328
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,598
What are you doing?
329
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,141
- Come on, we can hide in here.
330
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,779
(cattle mooing)
331
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,240
- Jump!
332
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:26,994
What are you doing?
333
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,164
Stay down there!
334
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,036
- Hey you!
335
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:39,371
Don't try to get away!
336
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,508
- Here I come.
337
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:47,171
Hey Willie, where are you?
338
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:50,893
- Between the porterhouse
and the short ribs.
339
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:57,932
- All right you fellas!
340
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,391
I know you're in here!
341
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,268
Come on, speak up!
342
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:02,071
- Mooo!
343
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,067
- Where do you fellas think you're going?
344
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:08,984
- California.
345
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,111
- Well I hate you disappoint you.
346
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,530
Come on, come on.
347
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,115
- Now wait a minute, you're
not going throw us off are you?
348
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:16,377
- Of course not!
349
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:26,053
(impish sax melody)
350
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,087
- Oh pardon us, gentlemen,
351
00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:31,507
for dropping in on your lunchtime.
352
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,394
- Boy that smells good.
353
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:38,232
- That's more than we can say for you.
354
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,311
Boy do they need deodorizing.
355
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:45,938
- Hey, they forgot the bread.
356
00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,982
- Wait a minute.
357
00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:49,275
Think of me once in a while.
358
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,494
I'm hungry too.
359
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:59,420
(playful orchestral music)
360
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,528
(veIPS)
361
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,788
(wheezing)
362
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:09,498
(sputters) Harry, Harry,
Harry, Harry, Harry,
363
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,167
Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry.
364
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,795
(sputtering)
365
00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:15,848
Harry, Harry.
366
00:25:18,142 --> 00:25:18,966
Come here.
367
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:19,800
- What's the matter?
368
00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:20,634
- Sit down and relax.
369
00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:21,468
- What's the matter?
370
00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:22,261
Something happen?
371
00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:23,220
- I wanna trade bread with you, here.
372
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:25,097
- Now how come you give
me the biggest piece?
373
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,223
- [Willie] My mother told me to always
374
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:27,516
give my friends the biggest piece.
375
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,475
- That's not like you.
376
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:29,601
- Oh yes.
377
00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:30,404
- No.
378
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:33,689
Good though.
379
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,315
- Taste any meat?
380
00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:38,152
- I don't expect to taste
meat in a loaf of bread.
381
00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:39,570
- Try the other end.
382
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:40,654
- Well both ends are alike.
383
00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,750
- Try that one over there.
384
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,707
(dramatic sting)
(screams)
385
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:54,094
(whimpering)
386
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,295
- [Harry] What are you gonna do?
387
00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:57,212
- I'm gonna look for that squirrel.
388
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:01,439
(feral growling)
(screaming)
389
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,927
- What happened?
390
00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:04,730
- Oh.
391
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:07,931
Hey.
392
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:08,807
Could I use your gun?
393
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,184
- No.
394
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:11,018
- I win it.
395
00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:11,820
Excuse me.
396
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:17,326
(gunshot)
397
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:23,457
(snoring)
398
00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:30,506
(sly orchestral music)
399
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,085
(snoring)
400
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:17,094
(playful orchestral music)
401
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,883
- Hey, get a load of these dice.
402
00:27:24,893 --> 00:27:27,761
One has all sixes and the
other one has all fives.
403
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:29,555
- Those tramps, I think they're crooked.
404
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,390
I don't think they were branged up right.
405
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,278
(wagon approaches)
406
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,729
- Whoa.
407
00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,815
Well what happened to you fellas?
408
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,358
- Well some tramps, they stole our money
409
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:43,110
and they took away our clothes from us.
410
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,194
- Well hop in.
411
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:46,864
I'll get you to Californ-I-A.
412
00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:48,574
- No thanks, we're still in a hurry.
413
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:51,243
But you could loan us some money.
414
00:27:51,253 --> 00:27:52,953
- Well I can only spare 20 d-d-d,
415
00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:54,673
20 d-b-b-b-b-b-bucks.
416
00:27:55,716 --> 00:27:57,082
- I'll see that you get it back.
417
00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,250
- You keep quiet.
418
00:27:58,260 --> 00:27:59,960
I'll give you an IOU for it.
419
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:01,420
- Alrighty.
420
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:05,591
Just make the IOU out right
on that piece of paper.
421
00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:06,675
- Swell.
422
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:07,978
"I owe you $30."
423
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,971
- But I only gave you 20 d-d-d,
424
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:12,806
20 d-d-b-b-b-bucks.
425
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:15,517
- Well $10 is for interest.
426
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,321
Here you are, sign it.
427
00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:23,108
- It sure is nice to do
business with fellas like you.
428
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:25,485
So goodb-b-b, good-b-b-b...
429
00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:26,320
- Goodbye?
430
00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:27,362
- So long.
431
00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:30,417
(upbeat banjo music)
432
00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:34,963
- Don't try to figure it out.
433
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,208
Hey.
434
00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:43,180
I wonder how far $20 will
take us on that train.
435
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,721
(steam hissing)
436
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:53,555
- Hold it!
437
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,514
No tramps allowed on here.
438
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:55,349
Beat it!
439
00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:56,975
- Wait a minute, we're not tramps.
440
00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,685
We've got money, we want to pay out way.
441
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,145
How far will $20 take us?
442
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,730
- This is no passenger train.
443
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:04,952
I can't collect fares, so it's no dice.
444
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:14,368
- Say, there's nothing in your regulations
445
00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:15,702
that says we can't gamble to see
446
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:18,340
whether we ride or not is there?
447
00:29:20,342 --> 00:29:22,334
- You know how to shoot dice?
448
00:29:22,344 --> 00:29:23,136
- No.
449
00:29:25,555 --> 00:29:27,005
- You know how to shoot dice?
450
00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:28,507
- Not with his dice, they only got
451
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:31,561
two numbers on them, sixes and fives.
452
00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:37,891
- We'll play with my dice.
453
00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:41,103
And when you lose the 20, I'm
throwing you off the train.
454
00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:43,073
And you do the shooting.
455
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:46,233
(train whistle blows)
456
00:29:46,243 --> 00:29:47,035
Come on.
457
00:29:54,084 --> 00:29:58,301
- Now wise guy, this 20
bucks will get us no place.
458
00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:02,666
(impish orchestral melody)
459
00:30:02,676 --> 00:30:05,804
(train whistle blows)
460
00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:20,152
(playful orchestral music)
461
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:24,021
- Wait a minute.
462
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:25,782
Let me see those dice.
463
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,249
- How am I gonna explain this to my wife?
464
00:30:44,259 --> 00:30:47,377
- Same way I'm gonna explain it to mine.
465
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:50,682
- The old man made it as fast as we did.
466
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,383
(train whistle blows)
467
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:54,926
- Let's give him the $20 we took from him.
468
00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:56,219
- Come on.
469
00:30:56,229 --> 00:31:00,108
(slowed down orchestral music)
470
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:05,771
- Aw, we can't catch up to him.
471
00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:08,315
I'll mail him the money.
472
00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:09,858
Wait a minute, where are you going?
473
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:12,694
- I'm gonna give the old man the money.
474
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,071
- Come back here!
475
00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:15,280
Wait a minute, old man!
476
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:16,656
We've got your money!
477
00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:20,170
(playful orchestral music)
478
00:31:22,464 --> 00:31:25,082
- Boy the old man sure will
be surprised to see us.
479
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:26,792
- Will he be surprised
to get his money back.
480
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:27,626
- Yeah.
481
00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:28,835
Hey mister!
482
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:31,890
(upbeat banjo music)
483
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,303
- What happened to the old man?
484
00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,680
- Those dirty crooks, they
must've stole the wagon.
485
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:43,652
(Indians ululating)
486
00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:48,188
- Indians!
- Indians!
487
00:31:48,198 --> 00:31:51,493
(epic orchestral music)
488
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:58,625
(gunshots)
489
00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:18,093
- (Russian accent) More action!
490
00:32:18,103 --> 00:32:19,062
More action!
491
00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:25,402
(gunshots)
492
00:32:34,411 --> 00:32:35,370
More action!
493
00:32:36,496 --> 00:32:37,456
More action!
494
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,783
(gunshots)
495
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:44,411
- How can a thing like this happen?
496
00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:48,216
- Maybe Custer hasn't
finished his last stand.
497
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:52,502
Hey, if they catch us will they scalp us?
498
00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:53,670
- I don't know.
499
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,891
(gunshots)
500
00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,060
- More action!
501
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:03,607
(calvary trumpet melody)
502
00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:10,562
- Saved in the nick of time.
503
00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:11,396
- No driver.
504
00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:13,023
Get in the driver's seat.
505
00:33:13,033 --> 00:33:14,608
(Willie laughs)
506
00:33:14,618 --> 00:33:15,609
Grab the reins.
507
00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,819
Get in there, hurry up!
508
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:20,238
(playful orchestral music)
509
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:22,032
- Get out of there!
510
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,418
Get out of there!
511
00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:33,418
(upbeat fiddle music)
512
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,221
Cut!
513
00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:36,922
(Calvary trumpet melody)
514
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:37,724
Cut!
515
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,761
(Indians ululating)
516
00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:43,563
Cut!
517
00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:48,642
- We lost them.
518
00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:49,935
- That was a narrow escape.
519
00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:53,647
- Well you can stop the horses now.
520
00:33:53,657 --> 00:33:55,315
- The greatest Indian fight ever
521
00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:58,777
to be filmed ruined by a couple of idiots!
522
00:33:58,787 --> 00:33:59,861
Who are they?
523
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:01,446
What are they doing here?
524
00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:02,948
Somebody answer me!
525
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:04,793
Shut up until I finish!
526
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,675
(tires screech)
527
00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:18,598
(upbeat orchestral music)
528
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:25,887
- What's the matter, Sergei?
529
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:28,598
- My beautiful picture is ruined!
530
00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:31,560
Killed just as it was being born.
531
00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:33,029
By those, those...
532
00:35:01,141 --> 00:35:02,132
They are the ones!
533
00:35:02,142 --> 00:35:02,966
They!
534
00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:03,800
They!
535
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:04,634
- The driver's wonderful.
536
00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:05,510
Look at him drive.
537
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,095
Get that camera on that action.
538
00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:09,431
- Mr. Snavely, I am the director.
539
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:12,017
I will tell the cameraman what to do.
540
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:12,892
Cut!
541
00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:14,394
- Yes, Mr. Toumanoff.
542
00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:15,854
- I am the producer.
543
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,355
Keep that camera turning.
544
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,648
- [Cameraman] Yes, Mr. Snavely.
545
00:35:18,658 --> 00:35:21,192
- But it will ruin my beautiful picture.
546
00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:21,995
My epic.
547
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,782
(upbeat orchestral music)
548
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,587
- Keep that camera on that action.
549
00:35:34,591 --> 00:35:36,124
They'll never make it.
550
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:37,292
It's suicide.
551
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:42,265
(high-pitched whistle)
(tense orchestral melody)
552
00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:52,067
- Cut!
553
00:35:54,444 --> 00:35:58,661
- That is the greatest
stunt I have ever seen.
554
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:01,232
- I-I-I knew you would like it, Snavely,
555
00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:02,651
but I wanted to surprise you
556
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,986
when you saw it in the projection room.
557
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:08,239
- Toumanoff, that stunt has
never been in motion pictures.
558
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:11,534
We'll build a whole story around it.
559
00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:13,495
You are a genius.
560
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:17,050
Come on, I wanna talk
that little stuntman.
561
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:29,344
- Hey, you know a guy could
562
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,054
get killed in one of these things.
563
00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:32,097
- No kidding.
564
00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:33,149
More Indians!
565
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,479
We surrender.
566
00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:43,358
Will you tell your brothers
not to fight with us anymore?
567
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:44,359
- My brothers?
568
00:36:44,369 --> 00:36:45,193
- Yeah.
569
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:48,331
Tell them not to shoot anymore arrows.
570
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:50,583
Erm, hey.
571
00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:54,994
Didn't I sorta meet you someplace before?
572
00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:56,496
- I've never been there.
573
00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:57,872
- Weren't you with--
574
00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:00,125
- No, I was alone.
575
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:01,376
- Are you sure that you--
576
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:03,086
- I haven't been there either.
577
00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:05,640
(car pulls up)
578
00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:09,008
- Hello my dear.
579
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:09,811
- How!
580
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:11,980
How?
581
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:14,597
- (drops accent) I don't know.
582
00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:15,432
- Well done, my boy.
583
00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:17,267
Congratulations Mr...
584
00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:18,893
- This is Mr. Piper.
585
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,562
Willie Piper, I'm Harry Pierce.
586
00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:21,521
- Hey we better get outta here.
587
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:22,772
The Indians have got us surrounded.
588
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:24,315
- Oh now Mr. Piper, you can't tell me
589
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,401
you're afraid of motion picture Indians.
590
00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:27,902
- Motion picture Indians?
591
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,612
- Oh no, he's not afraid.
592
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,573
- Well I would say that he fears nothing.
593
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:33,491
That stunt you just did was the most
594
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:35,952
hair-raising thing I have ever seen.
595
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,589
You are a daredevil.
596
00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:41,875
Amalgamated Pictures
could use a man like you.
597
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:43,626
- You mean working in a studio?
598
00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:44,919
- Working in a studio?
599
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:47,630
We could get a line on that
German, the dirty swindler.
600
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,674
- [Willie] And then we could
get the cops to get after him.
601
00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:50,508
- Right.
602
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:51,718
- Hey, in the studio what would I be?
603
00:37:51,728 --> 00:37:53,052
The janitor?
604
00:37:53,062 --> 00:37:55,180
(laughs)
605
00:37:55,190 --> 00:37:58,141
- (Russian accent) Mr. Piper.
606
00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:00,560
You have an excellent sense of humor.
607
00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:04,689
Mr. Snavely wishes to
engage you as a stuntman.
608
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:05,523
- Stuntman?
609
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:06,357
- Yes.
610
00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:09,110
And if he will allow me to direct you, I,
611
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:13,249
Sergei Toumanoff, will
take very good care of you.
612
00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:16,284
- It's a deal.
613
00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:18,328
From now on you will double
for all of our stars.
614
00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:20,246
- Just how long will this job last?
615
00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:23,082
- Until something happens to you.
616
00:38:23,092 --> 00:38:24,167
- Come on, Mr. Piper.
617
00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:25,627
You, Mr. Pierce, I'll ride you back
618
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:29,015
to my office and we'll sign the contract.
619
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:35,605
- No.
620
00:38:47,534 --> 00:38:49,984
- Mr. Piper, you may rest assure
621
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:51,820
that I will do everything in my power
622
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,780
to locate this scoundrel Gorman for you
623
00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:55,949
and get your aunt's money back.
624
00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:57,659
- Thanks a lot, Mr. Snavely.
625
00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:59,410
- Thanks a million, Mr. Snavely.
626
00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:00,213
Come on.
627
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:04,749
(yelling)
628
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,543
(screams)
629
00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:10,598
(laughs) Pardon us, Mr. Snavely.
630
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:20,431
- Well you gentlemen are
coming up in the world.
631
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:22,392
Is Mr. Snavely going to star you?
632
00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:23,726
- Oh no, he's gonna help us.
633
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:26,187
- He's gonna help us find
that crook named Gorman.
634
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,731
- Well I must tell Mr.
Toumanoff about this.
635
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:30,400
I'm sure he'll be happy to do something
636
00:39:30,410 --> 00:39:32,402
about your finding Mr. Gorman.
637
00:39:32,412 --> 00:39:33,236
- Say, didn't I--
638
00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:34,038
- No.
639
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:40,461
- I still think I know
that girl from someplace.
640
00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:48,334
- Look, what else can you offer me
641
00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:50,795
for this job besides the money?
642
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,766
- I will make you my right-hand man.
643
00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:59,387
Piper will double for you
in the airplane scenes.
644
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,306
- He's going to double for me?
645
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:02,473
What are you trying to do?
646
00:40:02,483 --> 00:40:04,392
Kill him or my career?
647
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:06,561
- After I make him jump
from the plane today,
648
00:40:06,571 --> 00:40:10,398
neither of us will
worry about our careers.
649
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:14,621
(Egyptian-themed orchestral music)
650
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,118
- Coochie coochie coochie!
651
00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:24,162
(womp womp melody)
652
00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:26,132
- Well of all the nerve.
653
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:28,666
- I thought you were a girl.
654
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,418
- I was supposed to be a stuntman.
655
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:31,628
Now I'm a girl.
656
00:40:31,638 --> 00:40:33,630
- Listen, what is the difference?
657
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:34,797
- That's too big a stunt for me.
658
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:36,591
- We both want to find Gorman don't we?
659
00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:38,635
Now you're doubling
for that actress today.
660
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:40,219
Keep your eyes open.
661
00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:41,387
- You know, there's something about
662
00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:42,972
that girl that I seem to remember.
663
00:40:42,982 --> 00:40:43,848
- What do you mean?
664
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:45,099
- It's a woman's intuition.
665
00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:47,310
- All you women are alike.
666
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,865
(playful orchestral music)
667
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:05,088
(laughs)
668
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:08,591
- Piper!
669
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,303
Where is Piper?
670
00:41:18,476 --> 00:41:19,842
You've got on the wrong clothes.
671
00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:21,010
- You can say that again.
672
00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:22,428
- Go change into your flying outfit.
673
00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:23,763
Mr. Toumanoff is waiting.
674
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:25,056
Hurry up!
675
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:26,599
- Tut-tut, my good man.
676
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:29,185
That's no way to talk to a lady.
677
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:32,740
(playful orchestral music)
678
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:44,742
- Excuse me.
679
00:41:44,752 --> 00:41:46,828
Are you a director?
680
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:47,630
- Yes.
681
00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:51,050
- Could you tell me your name?
682
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:53,960
- Mack Sennett.
683
00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:55,086
- It's Mack Sennett.
684
00:41:55,096 --> 00:41:57,714
- That's not Mack Sennett.
685
00:41:57,724 --> 00:42:00,601
- Are you sure you're Mack Sennett?
686
00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,105
- Sweetheart.
687
00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:08,985
(“wah wah wah" melody)
688
00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:11,696
- That's Mack Sennett.
689
00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:17,118
(sorrow violin music)
690
00:42:36,429 --> 00:42:38,755
- (Russian accent) Stop the music!
691
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:40,048
- What's the matter boss?
692
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:42,717
- I just had a fight with my conscience.
693
00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:43,801
- And?
694
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:44,604
- I won.
695
00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:59,442
When we arrive at the
rendezvous, Mr. Jason,
696
00:42:59,452 --> 00:43:02,195
you will attack the heroine's plane.
697
00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:05,364
As you dive in on her,
you will fire one burst
698
00:43:05,374 --> 00:43:09,494
of ammunition in an
endeavor to shoot her down.
699
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:12,882
You will keep firing until she bails out.
700
00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,625
That is the end of the scene.
701
00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:16,667
Is that clear?
702
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,387
- Yes, Mr. Toumanoff.
703
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:29,263
- (drops accent) Is
everything fixed, Hinds?
704
00:43:29,273 --> 00:43:30,181
- Don't worry, Chief.
705
00:43:30,191 --> 00:43:32,475
I've weakened every strut in Piper's ship.
706
00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:34,018
And if that don't do the trick,
707
00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:37,271
I put live ammunition in Jason's guns.
708
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:41,828
- Hinds, if I was not the
genius, I would say you were.
709
00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:51,661
- Stop.
710
00:43:51,671 --> 00:43:53,287
- (Russian accent) Are you ready Piper?
711
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,122
- Yes sir.
712
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,164
The only thing I wanna tell you,
713
00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:56,457
Mr. Toumanoff, every time I take
714
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,459
one foot off the ground I get dizzy.
715
00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,378
- Mr. Piper, I personally have taken
716
00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:03,548
every precaution for your safety.
717
00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:06,801
Now then, today you are
doubling our heroine
718
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:08,886
who is flying to Washington for a
719
00:44:08,896 --> 00:44:11,305
peace treaty with the Indians.
720
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,808
- But Mr. Toumanoff,
there were no airplanes
721
00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:15,768
when we were fighting the Indians.
722
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:18,437
- Can I help it if I am ahead of my time?
723
00:44:18,447 --> 00:44:20,565
Do not interrupt!
724
00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:21,732
- I'm sorry.
725
00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:25,403
- [Gorman] Now you are flying
toward the setting sun.
726
00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:27,864
- But Mr. Toumanoff, if Washington is in
727
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,782
the east and the sun sets in the west--
728
00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:34,172
- In my pictures the sun
sets where I want it to set.
729
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,081
- Excuse me.
730
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:41,971
- You continue like a bird,
flying towards the setting sun.
731
00:44:42,972 --> 00:44:45,756
Suddenly, you hear the roar of a motor.
732
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:46,966
You turn.
733
00:44:46,976 --> 00:44:49,218
You see the renegade in his plane,
734
00:44:49,228 --> 00:44:52,471
diving at you with blazing guns.
735
00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:54,724
You're about to be shot down.
736
00:44:54,734 --> 00:44:56,058
You are trapped.
737
00:44:56,068 --> 00:44:57,560
Helpless.
738
00:44:57,570 --> 00:44:59,979
What are you going to do?
739
00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:00,855
- Tell him.
740
00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:03,316
- (Russian accent) I'm going to quit.
741
00:45:03,326 --> 00:45:04,358
- Wait a minute.
742
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:05,610
- Nonsense.
743
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:07,580
You parachute to safety.
744
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:12,909
Hinds, put the parachute on Mr. Piper.
745
00:45:12,919 --> 00:45:13,743
- No you don't.
746
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:14,744
I'm taking no chances.
747
00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:16,662
I'll put it on him.
748
00:45:16,672 --> 00:45:18,164
- Climb into the plane, Mr. Piper.
749
00:45:18,174 --> 00:45:20,551
The pilot will be right here.
750
00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,213
(drops accent) What about the pilot?
751
00:45:25,223 --> 00:45:26,547
- He'll never get into the plane.
752
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:27,548
- And Piper?
753
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,759
- Oh I've taken care of the control stick.
754
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:33,986
The plane will go up, but
Humpty Dumpty will fall.
755
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:36,098
- Good.
756
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:38,653
- I'll take care of the blocks.
757
00:45:49,872 --> 00:45:53,407
- (Russian accent) Music!
758
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:57,380
(sorrow violin and piano music)
759
00:46:04,971 --> 00:46:06,045
Ready?
760
00:46:06,055 --> 00:46:08,714
- All ready, Mr. Toumanoff.
761
00:46:08,724 --> 00:46:10,049
- Fast music!
762
00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:13,312
(music tempo increases)
763
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:15,982
Camera.
764
00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:19,110
Action!
765
00:46:36,419 --> 00:46:37,368
- What happened?
766
00:46:37,378 --> 00:46:38,828
They don't know how to fly a plane.
767
00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:39,745
- They don't?
768
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:42,717
Mr. Toumanoff ain't gonna like this.
769
00:46:58,482 --> 00:47:01,017
- Hey, I didn't know
you could drive a plane.
770
00:47:01,027 --> 00:47:03,311
- I can't, but you're doing a good job.
771
00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:06,699
- (yelps) Who's driving?
772
00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:24,832
- Mr. Snavely, my plane
took off without me.
773
00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:25,666
- Oh good!
774
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:27,752
(stammers) Good gracious,
Piper will be killed.
775
00:47:27,762 --> 00:47:29,003
- Killed?
776
00:47:29,013 --> 00:47:32,256
Oh I hope Toumanoff gets it on film.
777
00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:34,091
I didn't mean that of course, I...
778
00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:35,509
Well how can we stop them?
779
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:37,011
(car revs)
780
00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:40,232
(playful violin music)
781
00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:04,955
- Piper!
782
00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:07,666
Piper, get out of the way!
783
00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:09,720
- You get out of the way!
784
00:48:12,139 --> 00:48:15,716
(high-pitched screams)
785
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:18,854
(slide whistle blows)
786
00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:24,318
- Hey Willie, listen.
787
00:48:25,236 --> 00:48:26,060
Willie!
788
00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:28,604
What are you doing out there?
789
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:30,773
- Give me your hand!
790
00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:32,076
- Bring it here!
791
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:38,290
Willie!
792
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:44,370
(slide whistle blows)
793
00:48:44,380 --> 00:48:46,590
(laughing)
794
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,835
- No!
795
00:48:50,845 --> 00:48:51,637
No!
796
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:01,178
(laughing)
797
00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,097
What are you laughing at?
798
00:49:03,107 --> 00:49:05,141
- This is very funny, Mr. Toumanoff.
799
00:49:05,151 --> 00:49:08,028
- This is not supposed to be funny!
800
00:49:14,577 --> 00:49:15,453
Now Mr. J--
801
00:49:16,579 --> 00:49:18,446
Now Mr. Jason!
802
00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:19,572
Now!
803
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:20,374
Dive!
804
00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:32,636
(playful violin melody)
805
00:49:37,391 --> 00:49:39,518
(gunfire)
806
00:50:01,874 --> 00:50:02,698
- Hey!
807
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:05,169
They're shooting real bullets!
808
00:50:13,469 --> 00:50:15,503
- Some fool put live ammunition in here.
809
00:50:15,513 --> 00:50:16,337
Pull up!
810
00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:17,139
Pull up!
811
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:22,510
- Give me that parachute.
812
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:23,344
- No no!
813
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:24,178
No no!
814
00:50:24,188 --> 00:50:25,012
No!
815
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,931
Mr. Toumanoff said I
should wear the parachute!
816
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:28,724
- Don't be so selfish.
817
00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:29,892
I'll use the parachute first.
818
00:50:29,902 --> 00:50:31,769
When I hit the ground,
then you can have it.
819
00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:33,354
- You'll be there before I will!
820
00:50:33,364 --> 00:50:35,022
- All right, then I'll wait for you.
821
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:36,565
- Watch out for the first
step, it's a high one!
822
00:50:36,575 --> 00:50:38,442
- Never mind the first step.
823
00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:40,194
- This is sensational!
824
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:42,238
- That is an understatement,
Mr. Toumanoff.
825
00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:43,948
- Don't miss a second of it.
826
00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:45,084
I am a genius!
827
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:50,381
(music tempo decreases)
828
00:50:56,095 --> 00:50:57,920
(harpsichord melody)
829
00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:59,630
- [Harry] Let go of my pants will you?
830
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,423
- [Willie] What will I hold on to?
831
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:03,968
- [Harry] Well you don't
have to hold onto my pants!
832
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:05,344
Let go of my pants!
833
00:51:05,354 --> 00:51:07,263
- [Willie] Toumanoff!
834
00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:08,639
- Hold on, Piper!
835
00:51:08,649 --> 00:51:09,441
Hold on!
836
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:11,350
- What's the matter?
837
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:12,434
Did you change your mind?
838
00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:14,228
- No, but I want more footage.
839
00:51:14,238 --> 00:51:15,271
Follow them, follow them.
840
00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:16,574
Don't lose them!
841
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:19,567
- [Harry] Cut it out!
842
00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:20,818
- [Willie] Toumanoff!
843
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,236
- [Harry] Now look what you did.
844
00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:23,779
- [Willie] Toumanoff!
845
00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:24,905
- [Harry] Let go!
846
00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:26,448
- Keep grinding!
847
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:27,585
Keep grinding!
848
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:31,829
(Willie sobs)
849
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:34,133
- [Harry] Let go of my shoe!
850
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:39,128
Let go of my shoe!
851
00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:42,850
(dramatic orchestral melody)
852
00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:45,644
- Cut!
853
00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,971
- Sensational, Mr. Toumanoff.
854
00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:50,764
You are a genius.
855
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:52,516
How do you rescue him?
856
00:51:52,526 --> 00:51:54,310
- Yeah, how do you rescue him?
857
00:51:56,405 --> 00:51:58,188
He comes up in a submarine.
858
00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:00,242
(laughs)
859
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:05,497
Huh?
860
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:10,951
I'll kill him!
861
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:11,785
I'll kill him!
862
00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:15,748
I'll kill him if it kills me to kill him!
863
00:52:15,758 --> 00:52:16,717
- Ship ahoy!
864
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,209
Toumanoff!
865
00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:20,012
Toumanoff!
866
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:25,633
- Are your rushes ready?
867
00:52:25,643 --> 00:52:26,759
- (Russian accent) The
cutter is just having
868
00:52:26,769 --> 00:52:28,719
the operator put it on the machine.
869
00:52:28,729 --> 00:52:29,521
- Fine.
870
00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:35,100
- (drops accent) What do you
suppose is bothering him?
871
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:36,977
You don't think he smells a rat.
872
00:52:36,987 --> 00:52:40,397
- Now Joe, don't belittle yourself.
873
00:52:40,407 --> 00:52:41,690
- Don't get smart.
874
00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:45,329
Anything happens to me,
I bring you into it.
875
00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:54,953
(Russian accent) All
right Harvey, run them!
876
00:52:54,963 --> 00:52:56,674
- Yes, Mr. Toumanoff.
877
00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:13,190
(laughing)
878
00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:21,188
- What goes is that stuff?
879
00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:22,731
Anyone can tell it's the double.
880
00:53:22,741 --> 00:53:25,150
It doesn't look anything
at all like Leota.
881
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,319
Why didn't you shoot the
back of Piper's head?
882
00:53:27,329 --> 00:53:28,372
- I tried to.
883
00:53:30,290 --> 00:53:31,834
He turned his head.
884
00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:35,536
- How did Pierce get into the plane?
885
00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:37,621
- Must've been a stowaway.
886
00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:39,915
Don't worry, I take care
of that in the cutting.
887
00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:42,751
I use only the longer shots.
888
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,972
(laughing)
889
00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:03,741
- Turn on the lights!
890
00:54:05,284 --> 00:54:07,568
Harvey, was that you laughing?
891
00:54:07,578 --> 00:54:08,986
- I'm sorry, sir.
892
00:54:08,996 --> 00:54:11,405
I couldn't help myself.
893
00:54:11,415 --> 00:54:12,781
It's very funny.
894
00:54:12,791 --> 00:54:15,502
- It is not supposed to be funny.
895
00:54:17,045 --> 00:54:19,173
- You know, I think it is.
896
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:25,053
- Who is in here?
897
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:28,297
- Just yourself, Leota, Mr. Snavely,
898
00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:30,966
there's Harry, and Harry.
899
00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:32,176
- Get out!
900
00:54:32,186 --> 00:54:33,010
- Get out!
901
00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:33,844
- Get out!
902
00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:34,646
- Get out!
903
00:54:36,023 --> 00:54:38,233
(laughing)
904
00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:44,271
- Sergei, if I were you
I wouldn't speak that way
905
00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:46,774
to Amalgamated's newest comedy team.
906
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,567
- Piper and Pierce a comedy team?
907
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:51,945
- That's right, and you
will be their director.
908
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,989
- I will have nothing to do with comedy.
909
00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:56,043
I am a dramatic director.
910
00:54:56,919 --> 00:54:58,911
- Let's talk this over, Mr. Gorman.
911
00:54:58,921 --> 00:55:00,714
- There is absolute...
912
00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:05,584
Gorman?
913
00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:07,252
- A short while ago, Piper came to me
914
00:55:07,262 --> 00:55:08,837
with a story of how he was swindled
915
00:55:08,847 --> 00:55:11,423
by a conman named Gorman.
916
00:55:11,433 --> 00:55:13,050
- What has this to do with me?
917
00:55:13,060 --> 00:55:15,052
I am Sergei Toumanoff.
918
00:55:15,062 --> 00:55:16,553
- There's no use denying it.
919
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:18,305
Without the mustache, without the toupee,
920
00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:20,808
without the accent, you are Gorman.
921
00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:22,601
I had the New York police
check your fingerprints
922
00:55:22,611 --> 00:55:26,772
and I have all of the evidence in my safe.
923
00:55:26,782 --> 00:55:28,273
- This is preposterous!
924
00:55:28,283 --> 00:55:30,609
- Oh drop the act, Joe.
925
00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,402
Where do we go from here?
926
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:34,530
- I have arranged that
those people you swindled
927
00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:36,698
shall be repaid out of your salary.
928
00:55:36,708 --> 00:55:39,076
I have also arranged
that by your doing this,
929
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:41,578
no one will press any charges.
930
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:46,134
Because I believe that you
are a great comedy director.
931
00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:51,296
- (drops accent) And I can
keep the identity of Toumanoff?
932
00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:53,048
- And you can keep your accent.
933
00:55:53,058 --> 00:55:55,425
And I will keep your money.
934
00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:57,845
Of course, if you do not
wish to direct comedy--
935
00:55:57,855 --> 00:55:59,596
- (Russian accent) I love it, I love it!
936
00:55:59,606 --> 00:56:01,640
- Then get writers and
start preparing a script.
937
00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:04,601
But be sure that neither of
these boys does any stunts.
938
00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:05,978
- Mr. Snavely, I promise you,
939
00:56:05,988 --> 00:56:08,397
even their doubles will have doubles.
940
00:56:08,407 --> 00:56:09,857
- All right, but remember, I'm holding you
941
00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:11,441
responsible for their safety.
942
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:13,485
- Yes, Mr. Snavely.
943
00:56:13,495 --> 00:56:14,621
Come, my dear.
944
00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:20,961
- Harvey, run that film again please.
945
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:23,954
- Everything's all set.
946
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,038
A torpedo friend of mine is gonna
947
00:56:25,048 --> 00:56:26,540
run over them with a car.
948
00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:27,541
- No.
949
00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:28,667
No!
950
00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:30,335
That will ruin me!
951
00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:31,795
They are my bread and butter.
952
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:34,047
If you kill them, you kill me.
953
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:35,465
- But you wanted them killed.
954
00:56:35,475 --> 00:56:36,717
So when they walk out of the studio
955
00:56:36,727 --> 00:56:38,343
a car's gonna hit them.
956
00:56:38,353 --> 00:56:41,732
- Now I have to save them to save myself.
957
00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:43,984
- Imbecile!
958
00:56:51,325 --> 00:56:52,816
- How you could be so stupid as to
959
00:56:52,826 --> 00:56:54,318
drop your dollar down there?
960
00:56:54,328 --> 00:56:55,277
- It could have been worse.
961
00:56:55,287 --> 00:56:56,278
- How could it be worse?
962
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,571
- You could've dropped
your dollar down there.
963
00:56:57,581 --> 00:56:58,373
- Ah!
964
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,210
(car approaching)
965
00:57:06,298 --> 00:57:07,122
- He did it!
966
00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:07,925
He did it!
967
00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:12,085
Oh please don't die!
968
00:57:12,095 --> 00:57:12,888
Please!
969
00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:15,505
Stop a car.
970
00:57:15,515 --> 00:57:17,633
Somebody call an ambulance!
971
00:57:17,643 --> 00:57:19,686
- I'll call an ambulance.
972
00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:23,055
He fainted.
973
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:24,014
- Better give him some air.
974
00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:24,816
- Okay.
975
00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:28,320
- Fan him, fan him.
976
00:57:30,197 --> 00:57:31,657
What's the matter?
977
00:57:32,741 --> 00:57:33,815
- Hey.
978
00:57:33,825 --> 00:57:35,901
He's got a bald head just like Gorman.
979
00:57:35,911 --> 00:57:37,361
- We better investigate.
980
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:38,121
- Come on.
981
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:44,419
(sly orchestra music)
982
00:57:48,966 --> 00:57:50,415
Well the coast is clear.
983
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:51,792
- Hey, it was nice of the fellas in the
984
00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:53,877
wardrobe department to
loan us these outfits.
985
00:57:53,887 --> 00:57:54,795
- Sure.
986
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:56,254
Now you know what to do.
987
00:57:56,264 --> 00:57:57,089
- Yes sir.
988
00:57:57,099 --> 00:57:58,465
You're gonna break inside that house
989
00:57:58,475 --> 00:57:59,591
and you're gonna get evidence
990
00:57:59,601 --> 00:58:02,052
to prove that Toumanoff is Gorman.
991
00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:02,970
- Right.
992
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,138
And if Toumanoff captures me, he'll never
993
00:58:05,148 --> 00:58:07,693
recognize me with this mask on.
994
00:58:08,944 --> 00:58:10,686
- And if Toumanoff should happen
995
00:58:10,696 --> 00:58:12,521
to call for a policeman, that's me.
996
00:58:12,531 --> 00:58:14,356
I rush in and I arrest you.
997
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:15,190
And I--
998
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,149
(screams)
999
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:17,567
- Shhh, it's me, it's me.
1000
00:58:17,577 --> 00:58:18,402
- Hello Harry.
1001
00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:20,070
- Shhh, quiet.
1002
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,291
(sly orchestral music)
1003
00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:29,941
(dramatic sting)
1004
00:59:32,486 --> 00:59:37,449
- (Russian accent) How dare
you steal from Toumanoff.
1005
00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:47,449
Operator?
1006
00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:48,867
Operator.
1007
00:59:48,877 --> 00:59:50,337
Get me the police.
1008
00:59:52,631 --> 00:59:55,342
(doorbell rings)
1009
01:00:04,476 --> 01:00:07,177
- Did you phone for a policeman sir?
1010
01:00:07,187 --> 01:00:08,929
- Arrest that burglar.
1011
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:10,931
I prefer charges in the morning.
1012
01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:11,733
- Yes sir.
1013
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:16,937
Harry, you're clumsy.
1014
01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:18,814
Come on, you crook!
1015
01:00:18,824 --> 01:00:20,534
Let's get outta here!
1016
01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,071
- Don't forget to spell my name right.
1017
01:00:26,081 --> 01:00:27,072
Toumanoff.
1018
01:00:27,082 --> 01:00:29,366
Director Toumanoff.
1019
01:00:29,376 --> 01:00:30,168
- Yes sir.
1020
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:34,955
Hey, did you find anything?
1021
01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:36,665
- (raspy voice) I'm no stool pigeon.
1022
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:39,626
- Hey Harry, your voice sounds
funny with that mask on.
1023
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:42,170
Hold this, I'm gonna take
the mask off and see.
1024
01:00:42,180 --> 01:00:44,474
(loud yelp)
1025
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:50,689
(sly orchestral music)
1026
01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:13,702
(dramatic sting)
1027
01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:17,122
- So you escaped and came back eh?
1028
01:01:17,132 --> 01:01:19,426
- Go ahead, call the police.
1029
01:01:22,387 --> 01:01:25,098
(doorbell rings)
1030
01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:34,222
- We traced your call, Mr. Toumanoff.
1031
01:01:34,232 --> 01:01:35,056
Anything wrong?
1032
01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:35,974
- Yes.
1033
01:01:35,984 --> 01:01:38,143
Why you let this man escape?
1034
01:01:38,153 --> 01:01:39,352
- I never saw him before.
1035
01:01:39,362 --> 01:01:40,478
- You never...
1036
01:01:40,488 --> 01:01:42,939
I saw you take him out of
here with your own hands!
1037
01:01:42,949 --> 01:01:45,066
- Come on officer, take me to jail.
1038
01:01:45,076 --> 01:01:47,027
- I'll take you to jail, me fine bucko.
1039
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:47,861
Come on.
1040
01:01:47,871 --> 01:01:49,905
- Don't forget to spell my name right!
1041
01:01:49,915 --> 01:01:50,947
Toumanoff!
1042
01:01:50,957 --> 01:01:52,500
Director Toumanoff!
1043
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:59,497
- Nice work Willie, but you
don't have to be so rough.
1044
01:01:59,507 --> 01:02:01,166
Now let me go.
1045
01:02:01,176 --> 01:02:02,636
Willie, let me go.
1046
01:02:06,973 --> 01:02:10,518
(playful orchestral music)
1047
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:23,355
(birds tweeting)
1048
01:02:23,365 --> 01:02:27,327
(lighthearted orchestral music)
1049
01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:35,961
(doorbell rings)
1050
01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:44,751
- Did that crook come back in here?
1051
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,962
- I told you before that he came back!
1052
01:02:46,972 --> 01:02:49,005
You just took him out of here!
1053
01:02:49,015 --> 01:02:49,839
- I did?
1054
01:02:49,849 --> 01:02:50,674
When was that?
1055
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:52,550
- When you took him away the last time!
1056
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,719
Now go search the
grounds and you find him!
1057
01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:56,356
Before I report you!
1058
01:02:58,066 --> 01:03:01,569
(playful orchestral music)
1059
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:08,368
(doorbell rings)
1060
01:03:10,704 --> 01:03:11,987
- Did that burglar come back here?
1061
01:03:11,997 --> 01:03:13,905
- I just told you he did!
1062
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:14,948
- You did?
1063
01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:15,782
When?
1064
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,242
- Every time you ask me!
1065
01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:19,995
Now go find him before he does come back!
1066
01:03:20,005 --> 01:03:21,454
- Yeah.
1067
01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:22,215
Yeah.
1068
01:03:37,772 --> 01:03:38,596
- Excuse me.
1069
01:03:38,606 --> 01:03:39,764
Did that crook come back in here again?
1070
01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:41,349
- How would I know if he comes back
1071
01:03:41,359 --> 01:03:44,477
when I was just now over
there talking with you?
1072
01:03:44,487 --> 01:03:47,397
- I wasn't standing over
there talking to you just now.
1073
01:03:47,407 --> 01:03:48,231
- Go away.
1074
01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:49,482
Go away!
1075
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:51,067
Let him come and rob my house.
1076
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:53,278
Just let me have a little peace.
1077
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,112
- Huh?
1078
01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:56,197
- Have a little peace!
1079
01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:57,032
- Oh thank you.
1080
01:03:57,042 --> 01:03:58,616
I love turkey.
1081
01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:03,089
I'll go out and see if I can
get that crook right now.
1082
01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:08,543
(doorbell rings)
1083
01:04:08,553 --> 01:04:09,346
- Come in!
1084
01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:15,967
- Any sign of him?
1085
01:04:15,977 --> 01:04:17,635
- Didn't I tell you just now before
1086
01:04:17,645 --> 01:04:19,721
you went out that window?
1087
01:04:19,731 --> 01:04:21,431
- I never went out that window.
1088
01:04:21,441 --> 01:04:23,725
- Didn't you just take
a piece of my turkey?
1089
01:04:23,735 --> 01:04:25,028
- I hate turkey.
1090
01:04:27,238 --> 01:04:29,564
I think I could use a little drink too.
1091
01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:30,940
I'm all mixed up.
1092
01:04:30,950 --> 01:04:32,275
- Go away.
1093
01:04:32,285 --> 01:04:33,568
Go away!
1094
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:35,205
And don't come back!
1095
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:43,620
(door bell rings)
1096
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:44,422
Come in!
1097
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:48,843
(playful xylophone melody)
1098
01:04:50,261 --> 01:04:51,961
- Hey, this turkey was delicious.
1099
01:04:51,971 --> 01:04:54,798
- Didn't you just tell
me you hated turkey?
1100
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:55,632
- Who me?
1101
01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:56,466
When?
1102
01:04:56,476 --> 01:04:57,342
- When you took the drink.
1103
01:04:57,352 --> 01:04:58,176
- Drink?
1104
01:04:58,186 --> 01:04:59,052
I don't drink.
1105
01:04:59,062 --> 01:05:00,178
- Get out.
1106
01:05:00,188 --> 01:05:01,596
Get out!
1107
01:05:01,606 --> 01:05:02,399
Get!
1108
01:05:03,983 --> 01:05:04,776
Out!
1109
01:05:17,038 --> 01:05:18,238
Police!
1110
01:05:18,248 --> 01:05:19,040
Police!
1111
01:05:21,167 --> 01:05:22,450
- Did you call the police?
1112
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:25,078
- No, I just yelled to
hear the sound of my voice.
1113
01:05:25,088 --> 01:05:26,162
Arrest this man.
1114
01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,080
- You're under arrest.
1115
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:27,914
- Wait a minute.
1116
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:28,748
Is your name Willie?
1117
01:05:28,758 --> 01:05:29,958
- No, it's Mike.
1118
01:05:29,968 --> 01:05:31,084
- Wait a minute.
1119
01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:34,254
(suspenseful orchestral music)
1120
01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:35,890
- I've got you, bub.
1121
01:05:40,478 --> 01:05:43,304
- Did you call for the police?
1122
01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:45,473
- Didn't you just go out that door?
1123
01:05:45,483 --> 01:05:46,307
- No.
1124
01:05:46,317 --> 01:05:49,060
- Well you're going out this one!
1125
01:05:49,070 --> 01:05:49,863
Get out!
1126
01:05:55,827 --> 01:06:00,044
(powerful orchestral melody)
1127
01:06:00,165 --> 01:06:03,283
(playful cabaret music)
1128
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:05,410
- Oh relax and enjoy yourself.
1129
01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:06,963
Nothing was stolen.
1130
01:06:08,339 --> 01:06:12,417
Here's to the straight and narrow path.
1131
01:06:12,427 --> 01:06:13,219
- And.
1132
01:06:14,304 --> 01:06:18,516
To Hollywood's newest and
greatest comedy director.
1133
01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:26,222
- Now that you don't want me to do
1134
01:06:26,232 --> 01:06:28,516
anymore of your dirty work, how about
1135
01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:31,769
paying me for what I have done?
1136
01:06:31,779 --> 01:06:33,354
- It will have to wait.
1137
01:06:33,364 --> 01:06:36,483
Snavely is holding up my salary to square
1138
01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:39,277
a little account of mine in the east.
1139
01:06:39,287 --> 01:06:40,737
- What about your past due account
1140
01:06:40,747 --> 01:06:42,280
you have here in the west?
1141
01:06:42,290 --> 01:06:44,199
Or would you like me to
tell him about our deal?
1142
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:45,408
- Oh be patient, Hinds.
1143
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:46,826
He'll get your money and he can do it
1144
01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:49,245
just as easily by going straight.
1145
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:51,498
- Sure, let him go straight.
1146
01:06:51,508 --> 01:06:54,209
Straight to 75,000
bucks in Snavely's safe.
1147
01:06:54,219 --> 01:06:55,293
- Shhh.
1148
01:06:55,303 --> 01:06:57,086
- But that...
1149
01:06:57,096 --> 01:07:01,313
That is the money for the
first Piper and Pierce comedy.
1150
01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:04,511
- That's right, but it
would also pay me off.
1151
01:07:04,521 --> 01:07:06,221
And still leave plenty
for a smart director
1152
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:08,441
to make pictures in Europe.
1153
01:07:11,319 --> 01:07:12,779
Let's drink to it.
1154
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,117
- Oh for heaven's sakes.
1155
01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:30,119
Stop playing jimmy
Valentine and open the safe.
1156
01:07:30,129 --> 01:07:32,757
Snavely will be here any minute.
1157
01:07:40,056 --> 01:07:41,130
- Hey.
1158
01:07:41,140 --> 01:07:46,104
I wonder who else has to okay
these before we make the test.
1159
01:07:51,025 --> 01:07:53,393
You're robbing Mr. Snavely.
1160
01:07:53,403 --> 01:07:54,310
- Yeah.
1161
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:56,145
Now we know that you're Gorman.
1162
01:07:56,155 --> 01:07:58,398
- Well boys, I guess you
caught me red-handed.
1163
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:00,702
You better phone the police.
1164
01:08:03,413 --> 01:08:04,612
(dramatic sting)
1165
01:08:04,622 --> 01:08:05,446
- Hey!
1166
01:08:05,456 --> 01:08:06,739
You can't get away with that!
1167
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:07,949
(dramatic sting)
1168
01:08:07,959 --> 01:08:08,751
- Come on.
1169
01:08:16,634 --> 01:08:20,513
(suspenseful orchestral music)
1170
01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:30,179
- Help!
1171
01:08:30,189 --> 01:08:31,598
Help!
1172
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:32,400
Help!
1173
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,477
- Don't worry, Mr. Snavely.
1174
01:08:36,487 --> 01:08:38,531
We'll catch those crooks.
1175
01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:45,737
Boy are we lucky.
1176
01:08:45,747 --> 01:08:49,959
We'll ask those cops to
help us catch those crooks.
1177
01:08:51,085 --> 01:08:52,577
Hey fellas, we gotta catch those crooks.
1178
01:08:52,587 --> 01:08:53,494
They're getting away.
1179
01:08:53,504 --> 01:08:54,454
- Are you with us?
1180
01:08:54,464 --> 01:08:56,122
- Sure, but hurry up, we'll lose them.
1181
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:59,677
(playful orchestral music)
1182
01:09:01,512 --> 01:09:04,380
(car revs)
1183
01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:05,214
- Hey Piper!
1184
01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:08,144
Piper, those are not real policemen!
1185
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:15,350
- Hey, bring that patrol wagon back!
1186
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:16,986
We're not ready yet!
1187
01:09:22,325 --> 01:09:24,400
- They've got a wagonload
of cops after us.
1188
01:09:24,410 --> 01:09:25,777
- Don't worry, we'll lose them.
1189
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:26,986
Hinds will be waiting at the airfield
1190
01:09:26,996 --> 01:09:29,707
with the plane ready to take off.
1191
01:09:32,627 --> 01:09:35,254
(tires screech)
1192
01:09:44,639 --> 01:09:48,184
(playful orchestral music)
1193
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:20,258
(bell rings)
1194
01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:43,698
(train whistle blows)
1195
01:10:44,991 --> 01:10:49,954
("I've been working on
the railroad" melody)
1196
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,239
- What are we gonna do now?
1197
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,376
- What are we going to do?
1198
01:11:00,298 --> 01:11:01,748
- Can you drive?
1199
01:11:01,758 --> 01:11:04,250
- Just like driving a bicycle.
1200
01:11:04,260 --> 01:11:08,097
(suspenseful orchestral music)
1201
01:11:13,895 --> 01:11:15,052
- How do you stop it?
1202
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:16,272
- I don't know.
1203
01:11:27,283 --> 01:11:28,900
Stop it Harry!
1204
01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:30,318
Stop it!
1205
01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:31,120
Stop it!
1206
01:11:34,749 --> 01:11:37,992
(horse neighs)
1207
01:11:38,002 --> 01:11:39,285
- Ugh!
1208
01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:41,506
(sputters)
1209
01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:47,960
- They're still following us.
1210
01:11:47,970 --> 01:11:50,431
- Well let them follow us now.
1211
01:12:09,700 --> 01:12:10,993
- Give me that.
1212
01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:32,181
- Over, over.
1213
01:12:41,607 --> 01:12:43,985
- [Willie] Get outta the way!
1214
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,002
- Lay off.
1215
01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:15,474
- Wait for me!
1216
01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:28,654
(bowling pin strikes)
1217
01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:31,699
Wheeee!
1218
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:40,948
- Come on!
1219
01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:41,751
Come on!
1220
01:13:42,835 --> 01:13:44,712
- Come back, come back!
1221
01:13:51,302 --> 01:13:53,679
- They're still following us.
1222
01:13:58,184 --> 01:14:01,093
(bell rings)
1223
01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:03,648
(exhaust pops)
1224
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:40,726
("Old McDonald" melody)
1225
01:14:46,607 --> 01:14:50,486
(suspenseful orchestral music)
1226
01:15:00,663 --> 01:15:03,374
(birds quacking)
1227
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:08,629
(train whistle blows)
1228
01:15:31,402 --> 01:15:33,863
(bird quacks)
1229
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:40,109
(exhaust pops)
1230
01:15:40,119 --> 01:15:43,998
(railroad crossing bell rings)
1231
01:15:48,169 --> 01:15:51,047
(train horn blows)
1232
01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:14,195
- Look!
1233
01:16:15,946 --> 01:16:16,812
Come out and push.
1234
01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:18,199
Come on, come on.
1235
01:16:22,953 --> 01:16:25,164
(grunting)
1236
01:16:34,882 --> 01:16:38,010
(train whistle blows)
1237
01:16:51,524 --> 01:16:54,068
(exhaust pops)
1238
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:10,950
- Where's Hinds?
1239
01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:12,034
- We can't wait for him now.
1240
01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:12,837
Hop in.
1241
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:18,467
Contact?
1242
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:21,095
- Contact.
1243
01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:30,771
(exhaust pops)
1244
01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:34,306
- We got you, Gorman.
1245
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:36,392
- Arrest them, fellas.
1246
01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:39,363
(plane engine revs)
1247
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:45,693
- You fools, those are the Keystone Cops.
1248
01:17:45,703 --> 01:17:47,444
They can't arrest me.
1249
01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:48,779
- No, but we can, Gorman!
1250
01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:49,582
Hold it!
1251
01:17:51,500 --> 01:17:54,034
Lady, get out of the plane.
1252
01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:55,870
- Very well, my dear.
1253
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,049
We must not keep the gendarmes waiting.
1254
01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:03,095
So the villain is apprehended.
1255
01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:05,764
And justice triumphs.
1256
01:18:06,932 --> 01:18:10,561
(dramatic orchestral music)
1257
01:18:13,856 --> 01:18:17,016
- Mr. Snavely, we saved
your money for you.
1258
01:18:17,026 --> 01:18:20,019
(plane engine roars)
1259
01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:23,574
(playful orchestral music)
1260
01:18:32,082 --> 01:18:35,544
(upbeat orchestral music)
77764
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