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1
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,956
Two white wines
and a Jack and ginger.
2
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,029
Please tell me the Jack and ginger
isn't for you.
3
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,191
No, it's for my girlfriend. Why?
4
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,150
You look like a woman of
discriminating taste...
5
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,595
...and mixing a quality
bourbon with ginger ale...
6
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,309
...is like putting Cheez Whiz
on lobster Newburgh.
7
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,108
Well, what if I said
the Jack and ginger was for me?
8
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,194
Well, then, I'd learn to live with it.
9
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,514
- Charlie.
- Gail.
10
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,829
Sorry I'm late. I stopped off at Radio
Barn, and wait till you see what I got.
11
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,956
Alan, I'm kind of in the middle of...
12
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,398
Damn you to hell.
13
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,630
- What? What did I do?
- Forget it.
14
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,836
It's who you are,
you can't help yourself.
15
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,279
Okay. Anyway, check this out.
Know what that is?
16
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,953
- A two megapixel, full-color webcam.
- Right.
17
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,395
How do I do it?
18
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,672
I got one for me and for Jake.
We can hook them to our computers...
19
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,434
...so when he's at his mother's,
we can have video chats.
20
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,794
- That's cool.
- Isn't it?
21
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,475
Yeah, with a couple of these, phone sex
becomes less phone and more sex.
22
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,355
These are to maintain
my relationship with Jake.
23
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,112
It's the worst part of the divorce:
24
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,840
- Only seeing him on weekends.
- I get that. I sympathize.
25
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,753
But you can see the validity
of my vision too, right?
26
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:23,077
Oh, look. Built-in microphone.
Totally hands-free. Perfect.
27
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,919
- Excuse me.
- Oh, hey, Gail. Good to see you again.
28
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,798
Don't move, don't talk.
29
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,399
- Are you Charlie Harper?
- Yeah. Why?
30
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,597
You were right. It's him.
31
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,078
What...? What...? What's funny?
32
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,958
Nothing.
33
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,472
So listen, can I buy you a drink?
34
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,756
He wants to buy me a drink.
35
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,595
Then what? We go back
to your beach house...
36
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,719
...sit on the deck, look at the stars, talk
about how you love being an uncle...
37
00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,996
...and how you'd
like kids of your own...
38
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,357
...and by the way, I have the
most beautiful eyes in the world.
39
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,074
I'm sorry. Have we met before?
40
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,194
No. And we're not gonna meet now.
41
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,355
Okay. I have a bad feeling.
42
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,671
Is the camera on?
43
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,996
Good. Now, hit "connect."
44
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,839
I can see you. Can you see me?
45
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,638
Yeah, yeah. I can hear you too.
You can hang up the phone.
46
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,392
This is awesome.
47
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,518
- Yeah, we can see each other every day.
- Cool.
48
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,438
So...
49
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,479
What's new?
50
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,153
Nothing.
51
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,076
What's new with you?
52
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,752
Not much.
53
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,791
- Hey, Charlie.
- Rose, stop.
54
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,595
- What?
- We're friends now, right?
55
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,115
Right.
56
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,955
Our one-night stand is ancient history.
You're not stalking me anymore, right?
57
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,510
- Right.
- Then use the damn stairs.
58
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,915
- Really?
- Yes.
59
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,593
Okay.
60
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:33,759
- I'm opening up the gate.
- I'm proud of you.
61
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:37,469
- I'm starting up the stairs.
- You can do it.
62
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,912
Oh, boy.
63
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,514
I don't know about this.
64
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,236
- You'll get used to it.
- Yeah, we'll see.
65
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,991
I'm surprised to see you home.
66
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,594
- It's ladies' night at Pavlov's.
- I know.
67
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,275
Well, isn't that kind of like
rabbit season for Elmer Fudd?
68
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,119
Used to be.
69
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,838
Let me ask you question.
70
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,754
How much do chicks talk
about men they've been with?
71
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,599
Not as much as you'd think.
72
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,109
- Really?
- Way more.
73
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,794
- Why?
- Well, I ran into some women last night.
74
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,234
Never met them before.
75
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,073
But they seem to have already formed
a poor opinion of me.
76
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,398
So you think somebody's out there
spreading nasty rumors?
77
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,269
Worse. I think somebody's out there
spreading the truth.
78
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,074
Well, you have burned
a few bridges in this town.
79
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,279
Hey, I don't burn bridges.
I have casual sex with relative strangers.
80
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,237
There's a difference.
81
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,473
And I'm always honest.
82
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,156
I never lead a woman on.
Unless I'm, you know, totally bombed.
83
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,513
Last night was probably the result
of one woman with an ax to grind.
84
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,159
Probably.
85
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,719
Yeah, that's it.
86
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,952
- I'm making myself crazy over nothing.
- Oh, I do that all the time.
87
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,395
It's a great way to fill up
a slow weekend.
88
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,190
Rose, that night we spent together...
89
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,191
...did I tell you
you had beautiful eyes?
90
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,959
Well, let's see. We had a couple
of drinks, you invited me back here.
91
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,635
We were sitting out on the deck,
looking at the stars.
92
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,552
And, yeah, you said:
93
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,235
"By the way, you have
the most beautiful eyes in the world."
94
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,871
I guess I do use that a lot.
95
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,519
But, damn it, it's good.
96
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,914
Are you sure it's not red?Look again.
97
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,078
It looks fine.
You have to go to school tomorrow.
98
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,748
- Good night, Rose.
- Night, Charlie.
99
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,070
And don't forget to use the...
100
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,912
Never mind.
101
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,513
Oh, Charlie, Charlie.
Come here.
102
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,433
- Say hello to your Uncle Charlie.
- Hey, Uncle Charlie.
103
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,909
- Hi, Jake.
- I can see you.
104
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,752
I can see you too.
105
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,999
So...
106
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,072
What's new?
107
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,674
Not much.
What's new with you?
108
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,512
Nothing. Oh, wait.I Googled you...
109
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,432
... and you'll never guesswhat I found.
110
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,556
Jake, are you in the bathtub?
111
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,153
Yeah. Gotta go.
112
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,629
No, no, no. Wait, Jake,
what are you talking about?
113
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,552
- What's he talking about?
- I don't know.
114
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,234
But if you Google me,
you'll find pages that mention...
115
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,392
...my San Fernando Valley
Chiropractor of the Year award.
116
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,278
That's nice.
Get out of the way.
117
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,638
Oh, careful. There's another
Alan J. Harper.
118
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,679
He's a school bus driver, and he also
makes these decorative pigs...
119
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,400
...out of bleach bottles
and pipe cleaners.
120
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,869
I'm not Googling you.
I'm Googling me.
121
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,549
"CharlieHarperSucks. Com."
122
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,995
That's gotta be a different
Charlie Harper.
123
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,354
Okay.
124
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,238
I have a bad feeling.
125
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,679
Oh, boy.
126
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,316
Oh, man.
127
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,750
Oh, crap.
128
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,393
- Are you still reading that thing?
- How can I not?
129
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,313
It's an entire website
devoted to trashing me.
130
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,754
Listen to this:
131
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,674
"Has anybody had sex with Charlie
where he actually took his socks off?"
132
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,594
That's just mean.
I have bad circulation in my feet.
133
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,796
They get cold.
134
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,239
Check this out. Some girl posted audio
off her answering machine.
135
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,437
Hey, it's me. I just wanted to tell youI had a great time last night.
136
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,353
- And I'm looking forward...
- Hello, Charlie?
137
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,351
Yeah, hi.
138
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,795
We weren 't together last night.
139
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,713
Allison?
140
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,950
No, Beth.
141
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,189
Thursday.
142
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,429
I had a great time with you Thursday,and I thought that may...
143
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,389
Oh, Alan, what am I gonna do?
144
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,790
Every woman in the city
can see this stuff.
145
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,598
Every woman in the world.
146
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,472
Oh, God.
147
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,949
Well, you know what they say.
148
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,350
Any publicity is...
149
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,511
Good publicity.
150
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,075
No, no, no.
What I do requires secrecy.
151
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,471
I need shadows and darkness.
I'm like a magician.
152
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,679
If everybody knows how I do it,
it ceases to be entertaining.
153
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,158
"Frequently Asked Questions."
154
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,799
- Don't read that.
- Yeah, right.
155
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,110
Okay. Question:
156
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,869
"How long can you expect to date
Charlie after you have sex with him?"
157
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,918
Answer: " It depends how late
you sleep the next morning."
158
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,915
Oh, come on. This is funny.
You're just too close to it.
159
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,395
This could be interesting. Question:
160
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,358
"How does Charlie manage
to fake my orgasm?"
161
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,715
All right, stop it. Move over.
162
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,996
- What are you doing?
- I've gotta fight back.
163
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,435
Anybody can post on the message board.
Why not me?
164
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,989
- You're gonna post as yourself?
- Don't be ridiculous.
165
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,878
Everybody uses a screen name.
166
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,072
"CharlieFreak219."
167
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,912
Too many?
168
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,798
Okay.
169
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,231
CharlieFreak180.
170
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,995
"In my experience...
171
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:09,229
...Charlie has always been...
172
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,914
...a generous lover...
173
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,993
...compassionate, fun-Ioving
and sensitive."
174
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,630
There. That ought to bring
a little balance to the conversation.
175
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,473
You really don't get the Internet,
do you?
176
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,118
Oh, look. I've got a response already.
177
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,716
"Dear Freak: Are you just stupid...
178
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,589
...or did your skull bounce off
his headboard too many times?"
179
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,876
Okay, I've had enough of this.
180
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,430
- How do I delete this whole thing?
- You can't delete a website.
181
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,511
Only the person who created it can.
182
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:46,036
- Well, how do I find out who created it?
- Now, let's see. Come on.
183
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,236
Okay.
184
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,033
Okay, the domain is the property of a
company in the Cayman Islands called:
185
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,113
"Charlie Harper Sucks Limited."
186
00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,194
Well, that's no help.
187
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,910
Hey, you can buy T-shirts
and coffee mugs.
188
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,469
"Add to cart."
189
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,874
No, Mom, it is not that simple.
190
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,237
I am a single mother now.Dating is very complicated.
191
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,158
I understand.
192
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,550
No, I can 't go back to Alan.
193
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,312
Of course I still love him.
194
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,158
Hey, Alan?
195
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,675
How long you think this Internet fad
is gonna last?
196
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,479
- Okay.
- What?
197
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,793
Jake must've turned on his webcam
before he went to school.
198
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,839
I can see and hear Judith
talking to her mother on the phone.
199
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,195
- Why can't she hear us?
- Our side's turned off.
200
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,238
Are you kidding? Alan would nevertake me back. How do I know?
201
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,038
I just know.
202
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,838
Okay, fine. I'll ask him.
203
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,956
- She wants me back.
- Yes, I will ask him.
204
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,633
That's nice. It's all about you.
205
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,153
Okay.
206
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,356
Listen, Mom, I gotta get in the shower.
207
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,718
I got it. Yes.
208
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,393
All right. I'll call you later.
209
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,871
Oh, man.
210
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,715
- Charlie, I need to talk about this.
- Me too.
211
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,916
If I don't do something
about that website...
212
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,036
...I'm gonna have to chase
Amish broads.
213
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,749
Judith wants to reconcile.
I've dreamed about this...
214
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,514
...but now that it's here,
I wonder if it's what I want.
215
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:27,275
Whoever put up that site has to be
somebody I went out with at least once.
216
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,238
It would be great for Jake
to have both parents in one house.
217
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,075
And without alimony, I could stop
getting my hair cut at the barber college.
218
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,312
I can eliminate married chicks,
ones that don't speak English...
219
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,914
...and those to whom
I was never properly introduced.
220
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,753
I'll make a list of the pros and cons
of going back to her.
221
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,388
You know what?
I'm gonna need to make a list.
222
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,950
- I'm glad we talked.
- I'm always here for you.
223
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,553
Me too.
224
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,830
Hi, Tina. Long time, huh?
225
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,037
Charlie Harper. What do you want?
226
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,868
I know things didn't end well
between us, and...
227
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,951
Really? I thought they ended perfectly.
228
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,510
We spent a week in CancĂșn,
having great sex every day.
229
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,911
Flew back to L.A. You told me you'd
call me tomorrow, and it's been...
230
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,310
What do you know?
A year and a half.
231
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,156
- That long?
- Oh, yeah.
232
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,278
I guess time flies when
you're the scum of the earth.
233
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,279
Okay, I had that coming.
234
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,798
I was thoughtless and insensitive, and I
know I can never really make up for it...
235
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:44,274
...but I want you to know that I was
wrong, and I'm really, truly sorry.
236
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,760
- And...?
- No "and."
237
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,435
I just wanted to apologize for
being a jerk. I wanna make amends.
238
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,839
- You really mean that, don't you?
- I do. Absolutely.
239
00:12:56,680 --> 00:13:00,719
- You wanna come in for a cup of coffee?
- Sure, I guess.
240
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,154
So, seeing anybody?
241
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:14,556
"Pro: No alimony. Con: No sex."
242
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,879
"Pro: See Jake all the time.
Con: See Judith all the time."
243
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,553
What are you doing? Give me that.
244
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,154
- I'm sorry. It was just laying there.
- That's private.
245
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,799
Okay.
246
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,400
I got another "pro" for you.
247
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,599
- Yeah? What's that?
- Lf you hook back up with Olive Oyl...
248
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,354
...I won't have to scrub your toilet
anymore.
249
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,991
Pro: No more Berta.
250
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,989
You're not really thinking about
going back, are you?
251
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,355
I don't know.
She wants to, but I'm torn.
252
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,511
You're not torn. You're gutless.
253
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,311
- Do you still love her?
- Of course I do.
254
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,916
I mean, you know, we've been though
a lot of things together.
255
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,198
- She's the mother of my son.
- Okay, listen to me, Zippy.
256
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,471
If that's all it took
to make a marriage...
257
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,676
...I'd have a husband
for each of my tattoos.
258
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,349
- You have tattoos?
- Yeah. You wanna see them?
259
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,554
No.
260
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,350
You're overthinking this. When your
dog dies, you don't make a list.
261
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,238
You bury him, plant a shrub on top...
262
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,597
...tell the kids he's running around
a farm, and move on.
263
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,350
That's actually a very apt metaphor.
264
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,751
My failed marriage is like a dead dog.
265
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,913
But it serves as fertilizer for the shrub,
which represents my new life.
266
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,908
So if I try to revitalize the marriage...
You know, digging up the dog.
267
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,719
- Then I'm killing the shrub,
which is me.
268
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,392
Like you said, it's apt.
269
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,989
Thank you, Berta.
You're a very insightful woman.
270
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,232
I know. In a just world,
you'd be washing my shorts.
271
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,874
Well, thanks, nevertheless.
272
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,998
Last chance to see those tattoos.
273
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,033
No thanks.
274
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,476
I can make the Road Runner
do jumping jacks.
275
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,389
That was a fun apology.
276
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,510
Yeah, I really thought
I was the one who deserved a spanking.
277
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,834
- So you'll call me?
- Count on it.
278
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,997
Hey, not that I really care, but,
do you happen to know...
279
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,918
...who started that silly website?
280
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,991
No. I just found it
by Googling your name.
281
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,720
Most women Google
the guys they go out with, you know.
282
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,711
Yeah, I've heard.
283
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,070
- Well, I'll see you soon.
- You better.
284
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,799
Okay. That went well.
285
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,150
Let's see. Who's next?
286
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,672
Jake, why don't you go watch
some TV. I need to talk to your dad.
287
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,196
Is this about the firecrackers?
What firecrackers?
288
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,318
I'll go watch TV.
289
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,399
Come in, sit down.
290
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,869
Thanks. Listen...
291
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,239
- Boy, this is tough.
- Okay, okay, maybe...
292
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,755
...I can make it easier for you.
293
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,399
Judith...
294
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,030
...I will always love you...
295
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,676
...but there's no going back for me.
296
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,116
I've learned a lot about myself
in the last year, and I'm growing.
297
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,794
And... And I wanna keep on growing.
298
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:14,556
I will always cherish
what we had...
299
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,351
...but I have to fertilize my shrub.
300
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,399
- What are you talking about?
- It's Berta's metaphor.
301
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,996
The... The bottom line is:
I don't want to reconcile.
302
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,832
Our marriage is over.
303
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,275
Well, what makes you think
I wanna reconcile?
304
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,036
What did you wanna talk to me about?
305
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,592
My mom wanted me to ask
if Jake could spend a couple of weeks...
306
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,512
...with them this summer.
- Oh, really?
307
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,240
- That's what she wanted you to ask me?
- Yes.
308
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,829
You didn't tell her you loved me,
you missed me?
309
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,434
Well, I always tell her that
to shut her up.
310
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,672
And how the hell do you know
what I talk to my mother about?
311
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,358
Hey, look, Charlie's here.
312
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,838
- Answer my question, Alan.
- Hold on a second, Judith.
313
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,788
- Charlie, what's wrong?
- I've been making amends.
314
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,470
Five amends in one afternoon.
315
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,838
Well, technically, four.
I had to fake the last one.
316
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,188
- Charlie, Alan and I are talking.
- Don't worry.
317
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,999
I'll be out of your way as soon
as I check on something.
318
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,878
They all denied
running the website...
319
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,157
...but at least I should have
some good reviews now.
320
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,514
Listen to this:
321
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,116
"Charlie came over and apologized today,
and, oh, what an apology it was.
322
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,669
I take back everything nasty
I ever said about him."
323
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,592
Not bad, huh?
324
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,669
Here's another one:
325
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,759
"He apologized to you today?
326
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,718
He apologized to me too."
327
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,111
Okay, I have a bad feeling again.
328
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,396
Alan, how do you know what
I said to my mother?
329
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,030
I didn't actually know.
I surmised.
330
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,792
I should go talk to Charlie.
331
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,077
Hey, Dad, check it out.
I can see my room on your computer.
332
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,229
Okay, now I've got a bad feeling.
333
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,275
My heart was in the right place, Rose.
334
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,034
- I know.
- All I wanted to do was apologize.
335
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,760
- I had no ulterior motives.
- I believe you.
336
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,512
Thank you.
337
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,714
Did I ever apologize to you?
338
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,753
You mean, for our one-night stand
that kind of, sort of broke my heart?
339
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,634
Yeah, for that.
340
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,393
No, not really.
341
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,757
Okay, well, I am truly sorry.
342
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,354
You're a wonderful person,
and you deserved better.
343
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,837
Thank you, Charlie.
344
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,673
- That's sweet.
- I mean it.
345
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,957
- What's that?
- Oh, this?
346
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:04,033
It's one of those new
web browser, e-mail gadgets.
347
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,151
Cool.
348
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,351
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
349
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,511
[ENGLISH]
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