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1
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When I was ten,
my family moved to America.
2
00:00:25,274 --> 00:00:28,694
Shortly thereafter, I learned
a valuable lesson about love.
3
00:00:30,154 --> 00:00:31,155
Hey, new kid.
4
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,741
You wanna play a card
came called 52 pickup?
5
00:00:36,994 --> 00:00:37,995
Pick it up,
6
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,205
dick for brains!
7
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:52,301
She was the most
beautiful thing I had ever seen.
8
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I fell instantly and madly in love.
9
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,148
Then she broke my heart.
10
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I vowed never to let love hurt me again.
11
00:01:10,611 --> 00:01:11,612
Today
12
00:01:11,779 --> 00:01:13,364
I'm a master of love.
13
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,324
Your book '52 Pickup'
14
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,634
is basically a how-to
guide for men to pick up women,
15
00:01:18,911 --> 00:01:20,454
-is it not?
-It is, yeah.
16
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:24,125
And you claim that your book
17
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,837
will help men pick up a different woman
18
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,880
every week, for a year?
19
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,174
Yeah, it's really that simple.
20
00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:32,925
All they have to do is follow
21
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,552
my three simple rules of engagement.
22
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That is, trigger her interest
23
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,346
play indifferent
24
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,682
and then go for the kill.
25
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,603
Are you aware how
degrading that is to women?
26
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,522
I mean, some could say it reduces us
27
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,691
to mere objects who could
be easily tricked into bed?
28
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:51,611
I mean, how would you
respond to such allegations?
29
00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:52,778
How do I respond?
30
00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:57,241
Guilty as charged.
31
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,322
Oh, what the hell is that?
32
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,784
What is this stuff!
33
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,143
-Hey, what's up, Ruben?
-Hey, what's... whoa.
34
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,517
-Take it easy, brother.
-Sorry, dude, we just met here.
35
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:05,560
All right.
36
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,311
Don't get chopped off.
You're early, aren't you?
37
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,437
You got it, bro.
38
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,246
Thank you. How's it going? Good?
39
00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:22,326
Very well.
40
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,828
There you go. Good luck.
41
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:24,996
Good.
42
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,247
And enjoy it.
43
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:27,665
Next in line.
44
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,046
So good to meet you.
45
00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,465
Well, thank you for coming.
46
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,633
Dude, you've changed my life.
47
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,218
That's the whole point.
48
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,538
I used to live in my parents' basement
49
00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:43,049
and only thing I'd score
50
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,390
was my Xbox.
51
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,309
But now...
52
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,352
I'm scoring with ladies.
53
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,647
That's great. Go get them.
54
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:54,817
Next.
55
00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:56,777
Holy shit.
56
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,696
-Hi.
-Hi.
57
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,490
I can't believe it's really you.
58
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,574
It's really me.
59
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,326
I owe you so much.
60
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,287
Your book, has helped me overcome this.
61
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:08,706
Tiny penis?
62
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:09,749
What?
63
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,917
No!
64
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,003
I'm talking about my lack of style.
65
00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:16,339
That's... I meant
your tiny lack of style.
66
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,007
-Yes.
-I don't know why I said penis.
67
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,968
That's exactly,
I don't know why I said penis.
68
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,761
-You're an asshole.
-I'm sorry.
69
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,388
I'm... I'm sure
you're packing. I didn't...
70
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,765
Baby's arm holding an apple.
71
00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:26,807
Yeah.
72
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,409
-What are you doing?
-I don't know. It just came out.
73
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,022
Hi.
74
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,444
What a collection of losers today, huh?
75
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,939
-Worse than usual.
-Yeah.
76
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,655
OK. Those 'losers'
77
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,115
are the reason you live
in a million dollar house
78
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,783
and wear custom-made suits.
79
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,035
Hey, it's OK, I still love them, though.
80
00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:47,495
Hence the term, 'lovable loser'.
81
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,080
Yeah. And hey,
hey, you know what?
82
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:51,166
You should show the man
a little more respect here.
83
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,709
OK? He's making your company a
lot of green and you know what?
84
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,212
We haven't signed the contract
for that third book yet. So...
85
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,296
-Don't touch me...
-OK.
86
00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:58,339
It's OK, Steve.
87
00:04:58,422 --> 00:05:00,299
Polly here has a right to her opinion.
88
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,425
OK, it's Molly.
89
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,303
But Steve is right.
90
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,430
I was out of line.
It won't happen again.
91
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,515
It's all good, babe.
92
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,834
It's all good, Molly.
93
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,686
We sold over a hundred copies.
94
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,020
That's great, Nana.
95
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:16,107
Yeah, those losers
really eat this shit up. Ha!
96
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,859
What?
97
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,027
Here. I wrote my number in it.
98
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:23,202
You want to get with a
real woman, give me a call.
99
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:28,160
What the...
100
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,538
Don't even think about it.
101
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,878
Hey, hey, listen.
I almost forgot.
102
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,338
They asked me if you want to participate
103
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,131
in this charity fashion show.
104
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,174
-Really?
-Yeah.
105
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,468
-How much would it pay?
-Nada. It's for charity.
106
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,261
But all the models are gonna be celebs.
107
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:46,763
-Oh, interesting.
-Yeah. Yeah.
108
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,223
It's gonna be some big names there.
109
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,307
You know what?
110
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,861
Might allow me to broaden my fishing pond.
111
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,452
And you've got quite the pole, huh?
112
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,480
-Dude.
-I know.
113
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:57,899
-That was...
-I know.
114
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:58,941
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
115
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,068
-We won't...
-Don't worry.
116
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,737
I regretted the second
it came out of my mouth.
117
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,071
Oh.
118
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,406
Hey! Wait a minute.
119
00:06:06,073 --> 00:06:08,326
Hey, don't forget about
this release party tonight!
120
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,015
-Huh?
-I said don't forget...
121
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,996
You're an asshole.
122
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,080
Asshole!
123
00:06:13,497 --> 00:06:14,498
You hear that?
124
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,126
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, get out of here.
125
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,794
Fancy car piece of shit.
126
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,895
Take care of it, buddy.
127
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,209
-Edison Greenleaf.
-Jesus.
128
00:06:58,876 --> 00:06:59,877
Whoa.
129
00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:01,128
What?
130
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:02,922
Hello.
131
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,090
Hello.
132
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,717
Do I know...
How do you know my name?
133
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,427
Does it really matter?
134
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:13,224
Of... I'm a fool. Of course,
from the jackets of my book. OK.
135
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,768
-You want an autograph?
-Look, Eddie...
136
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,021
I'm here to ask you something.
137
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,483
Yeah... you see,
I don't really carry cash.
138
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,402
I don't want your money.
139
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,779
Then what do you want?
140
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,739
You don't really respect women, do you?
141
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,950
I'm sorry, what?
142
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,536
I... did Steve Burns put
you up to this? Where is he?
143
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,502
Women are nothing but notches...
144
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,957
-on your bedpost!
-Yeah, my bedpost.
145
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,332
In fact, I don't even
have bedposts on my bed, so...
146
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,297
That's a metaphor, Eddie.
147
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,132
A metaphor...
148
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,092
Oh, I get...
149
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,802
I'm being punked, aren't I?
150
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:50,845
This is brilliant!
151
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:53,473
Where? Where are they? All right, you
can come out now. Where's the film crew?
152
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,766
There's no film crew, Eddie!
153
00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:00,271
All right. You know, I'm tired
of this. No more games, OK?
154
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,273
Then give me what I'm here for.
155
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,025
And what are you here for?
156
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,359
Kiss me.
157
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,070
Jeez, I don't think that's gonna happen.
158
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,364
Prove to me that you can
see the beauty in all women.
159
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,272
The beauty beneath the surface.
160
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,910
-Kiss me!
-All right.
161
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,953
No offense, you crazy old bat, but
162
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,466
I'd rather my dick dropped off, all right?
163
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,000
-What a...
-Suit yourself.
164
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,313
Yeah, so, ah, Molly, listen.
165
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,898
-I, uhh...
-Too close.
166
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,941
OK.
167
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,652
You're doing that thing kids
do when they like each other...
168
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:48,694
No.
169
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,029
Well, OK, then.
170
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,197
How about we talk business.
171
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,324
Maybe a few strawberry
daiquiris, discuss that third contract.
172
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,325
What do you say?
173
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,409
Oh, god.
174
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,960
And then, two of my eight cats,
they got in this really big fight.
175
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,378
-All right.
-It was just horrible.
176
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,338
I ended up having to
take Mr. Muggles to the vet
177
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,466
and then we had to put
him down. Sorry, I can't talk.
178
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,667
All right, I'm really happy for you.
179
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,975
I thought super-models were
required to be anorexic, but
180
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,292
you look just so goddamn healthy.
181
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:22,937
Wait.
182
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,731
Are you saying that I look fat?
183
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,441
No, no, that's not what I'm saying.
184
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,583
I'm saying you look really healthy.
185
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:29,944
Oh my god.
186
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,864
I shouldn't have eaten
this puffy cheese thing.
187
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,200
Don't be so hard on yourself,
you know. You're only human.
188
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,492
Humans are flawed.
189
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,410
Wait, are you saying I have flaws?
190
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,746
No, I'm saying that
191
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,290
I think you're gorgeous.
192
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,750
Just don't worry about what
anybody else thinks about you.
193
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,961
Wait. You say people
are talking about me?
194
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,515
Well, you know what
these bitches are like.
195
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:59,098
We should think about,
getting out of here soon.
196
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,846
It's getting a little, umm...
197
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,351
a little toxic, I think.
198
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,644
Tell me about it.
199
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,062
-Uhh.
-Umm.
200
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,272
Uhh?
201
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,356
Hey, umm...
202
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,400
would you like to come back to my place?
203
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,110
It's like five minutes away.
204
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:13,404
Really, uhh...
205
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:14,822
Oh...
206
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,782
Early start in the morning, uhh...
207
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,284
Oh, please?
208
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,203
Well...
209
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,605
I promise to make it worth your while.
210
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,626
Well, if you insist.
211
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,568
Let's get out of here quick.
212
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,598
No. On the bed.
213
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,861
What the fuck?
214
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,367
Oh my god.
215
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,577
Can't be.
216
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:48,583
I must be dreaming.
217
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,907
Where are you going?
218
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,617
Come on, come on.
219
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,046
Hello?
220
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,380
Steve!
221
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,425
You need to get to my place right away.
222
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,509
Who is this?
223
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,552
It's Eddie, dumb-ass.
224
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,930
Really? Who is this?
225
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,264
Umm...
226
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,684
you just need to get to Eddie's
place as soon as you can.
227
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,768
Why?
228
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,353
Uhh...
229
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,272
because he wants you
to join us in a threesome.
230
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,982
Really?
231
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,735
He's never asked me that before.
232
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,320
Are you in or what?
233
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,364
I'm in! I'm in! I'm in!
234
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,490
I'm in.
235
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,449
About time.
236
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,665
What?
237
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,835
Wow.
238
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,086
Huh, look at you.
239
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,504
Well.
240
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,840
Your stud service has arrived.
241
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:02,466
Huh?
242
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,593
I studied Goju Kai karate.
243
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,635
Ha!
244
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:05,720
Kai,
245
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,054
by the way.
246
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,973
Yeah. Uhh...
247
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,474
So, where is he?
248
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,642
Where's Eddie?
249
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,204
Funny thing about that.
250
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:14,979
Eddie?
251
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:16,647
You back here?
252
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,649
So where's he?
253
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,028
It's me, Steve. Eddie.
254
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,153
OK.
255
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,487
Yeah?
256
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,614
Eddie?
257
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,656
You back here?
258
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,402
Uhh, he's standing right in front of you.
259
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,952
OK. I get it.
260
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,204
You're hot.
261
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,539
I don't know what's going on here, but
262
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,541
but if you don't tell me where Eddie is
263
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,876
I'm gonna have to call the cops.
264
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,377
OK, listen to me, Steve.
265
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,422
I really don't know what happened.
266
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,976
Last night I fell
asleep and when I woke up
267
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,300
I was this.
268
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,344
Have it your way.
269
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,514
Beth McDonald.
270
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:53,851
What was that?
271
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,478
Your crush in middle school.
272
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,738
Beth McDonald, the one that got away.
273
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,858
OK. Eddie's the
only one who knows that.
274
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:00,942
See?
275
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,236
All that proves is
that he told you about her.
276
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,279
OK, how about Jessica Levine?
277
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,074
You lost your virginity
to her in tenth grade
278
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,867
and cried like a little baby.
279
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,953
That's cause she bit my dick!
280
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,790
Wait. OK,
what's go... Did... did...
281
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,875
Did he tell you my whole life story?
282
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,544
Steve. It's me.
283
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,338
Eddie. Stuck
inside a chick's body.
284
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,590
Come on.
285
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,052
OK.
286
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,180
Fine. If you're
Eddie, tell me this.
287
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,307
Two years ago, we took a trip to Vegas.
288
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,684
We got really drunk with some strippers
289
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,978
and they dared us to do
something really disgusting.
290
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,431
The next day we swore...
291
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,357
we swore we would
never talk about it again.
292
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,526
-Really?
-Yeah.
293
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,861
Really, Steve?
294
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,405
You're gonna make me say this out loud?
295
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,489
Hey.
296
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:49,715
If you're Eddie...
297
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,993
well, you'd know all about it.
298
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,562
OK, we gave each other hand jobs.
299
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,082
Uhh...
300
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,625
excuse me, what was that?
301
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,838
We gave each other hand jobs.
302
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,006
Are you happy?
303
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,048
What?
304
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,258
Eddie?
305
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,813
I just puked in my mouth.
306
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,721
Wait a minute.
307
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,930
Wait a minute. Eddie.
308
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,914
This is impossible.
I mean, how...
309
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,569
How did this happen?
310
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,228
I don't know.
311
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,689
Like I said, I fell
asleep at Alexa's last night
312
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,108
after banging her up and down
313
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,400
and when I woke up
314
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,735
I was a chick.
315
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,533
Well...
316
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,410
at least you're hot.
317
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,828
Shut the fuck up.
318
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,455
Wait.
319
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,790
-You think I'm hot?
-Oh yeah, I do.
320
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,043
So you would have
sex with me, knowing it's me,
321
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,085
Eddie,
322
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,253
inside this body?
323
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,808
Hey, after Vegas, what have I got to lose?
324
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,050
-Good point.
-Right?
325
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,260
So, if you don't mind, can I...
326
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,388
-See the whole package, maybe?
-What?
327
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,889
You know, minus the clothes.
328
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,808
Dude, I am not taking
my clothes off for you.
329
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,186
OK, fine. Be that way.
330
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,352
I have to say
331
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,145
my breasts are really perky.
332
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,361
Steve!
333
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,283
Steve!
334
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,578
I'm a First Dan.
335
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,205
OK.
336
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,624
I said, we need to
figure out what happened to me.
337
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:22,667
OK.
338
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,669
Jesus.
339
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:30,967
OK.
340
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,345
Let's figure this out.
341
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,929
Let's think about the last 24 hours, yeah?
342
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,931
-You had the book signing.
-Yeah.
343
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,933
You had the release party.
344
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,518
You had sex with a super-model.
345
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,561
Nothing unusual.
346
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,645
OK, then.
347
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:43,896
-Wait.
-What?
348
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,773
The homeless woman.
349
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,191
You had sex with a homeless woman?
350
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,526
No, dumb-ass.
351
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,237
I was outside the
building before the party.
352
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,031
And this homeless woman came up to me.
353
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,574
She knew my name, said...
354
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,159
said, I don't respect women,
355
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,995
didn't see their inner
beauty, some shit like that.
356
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,913
Then, she asked me to kiss her.
357
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,164
Wow, how was that?
358
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,626
That's the thing.
I mean, I blew her off.
359
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,295
She was fucking hideous.
360
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,634
I would've fucked her.
361
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,510
Twice.
362
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,555
She must have put a spell on me.
363
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,224
That's the only thing that makes sense.
364
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,308
OK.
365
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,475
OK. So...
366
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,020
we are looking for a homeless woman
367
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,688
with magical powers.
368
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,274
I mean...
I don't know. I guess so.
369
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,817
Maybe she was a witch.
370
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,694
-A witch?
-Did she have a broom?
371
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,154
-No.
-OK.
372
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,572
But...
373
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,908
she did have a really big walking stick.
374
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:37,992
Her magic wand!
375
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,161
Kind of magic wand, yeah.
376
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,245
Right. Well...
377
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,290
with all these magical powers,
why was she still so ugly?
378
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,834
-What?
-I mean, the first thing you do
379
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,085
is make yourself hot, right?
380
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,586
What's that got to do with anything?
381
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,087
Ah. Wait a minute. No!
382
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,297
Because if she was hot
383
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,090
it would have been
easy for you to kiss her.
384
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,383
My god, this lady is slick.
385
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,678
Gotta tell you, if she was
here, I'd give her some props.
386
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:57,762
You're an idi...
387
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:00,890
-That's it.
-What?
388
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:02,767
We have to find her.
389
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,436
I mean, if she turned me into a chick
390
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,229
then she can turn me back again.
391
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,438
Wait a minute. Listen to me.
392
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,233
You know how hard it's gonna be to
find a homeless woman in this city?
393
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,068
Like trying to find
a virgin in a whorehouse.
394
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,402
OK, listen to me, Steve.
395
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,570
We either find her
396
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,073
or I'm stuck as a chick
for I don't know how long.
397
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,157
Maybe forever.
398
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,410
Doesn't worry me,
because you're kind of hot.
399
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,494
Dude!
400
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:22,620
Me and you
401
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:23,913
not gonna happen.
402
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,016
Not until I slip you a few mickeys.
403
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,670
I still say, if she had magic powers
404
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,172
she'd use them not to be homeless.
405
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:35,383
Or, maybe searching for her in
homeless shelters is part of the test.
406
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,055
Yeah, but not the fun part.
407
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,811
Can I help you?
408
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,105
Yeah, hi, we're trying
to find a homeless woman.
409
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,773
This is a homeless shelter.
410
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,025
We have about 40 of them.
411
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,234
She's really old.
412
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,861
There's about 30 of them.
413
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,070
She's really ugly.
414
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,104
Look, this is really important.
415
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,950
You see...
416
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,593
I think she took something of mine.
417
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,580
So let me get this straight.
418
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,207
Some poor old homeless woman
419
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,492
who's probably struggling to survive
420
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,003
took something from you.
421
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,255
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
422
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,132
So what do you want me to do?
423
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,676
I make our clients
line up so you can pick her out?
424
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,219
Oh my god, that would be so great.
425
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,304
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
426
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,225
Have you ever heard of sarcasm, skippy?
427
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,729
That shit ain't happening.
428
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,648
Well, can we at least have a look around?
429
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,608
No, you can't be looking around in here.
430
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,318
OK, what do you expect us to do?
431
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,861
What I expect you to do
432
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,696
is to take your skinny
433
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,949
sorry asses and
get up outta here before I...
434
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,033
Tonya...
435
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,993
what's going on here?
436
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,998
These two claim that a
homeless woman stole from them.
437
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,417
And they want us to line up our clients
438
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,461
like a bunch of criminals
so they can pick her out.
439
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,338
Well, that's not exactly true.
440
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,548
Hi, I'm Jess White.
441
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,674
I'm the manager.
442
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,759
Hi, I'm Ed...
443
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,802
...na Greenleaf.
444
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,680
So why don't you tell
me what's going on here?
445
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:07,642
OK, the other night, I ran into
this homeless woman on the street.
446
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,060
She was really ugly.
447
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:10,811
Anyway,
448
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,022
I think she might have
taken something of mine.
449
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,065
I see.
450
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,316
Yep.
451
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,528
And, what would that be?
If you don't mind my asking.
452
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,241
-It was, uhh...
-Her identity.
453
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,285
She took your identity?
454
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,512
Oh, it's...
kind of hard to explain.
455
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:32,041
You... you mean your ID?
456
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,459
That's right. Her ID.
457
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,504
Oh, well, I guess I can
see why you'd want that back.
458
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,131
-Yeah, I know, right?
-So, umm...
459
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:39,466
can you describe her for me?
460
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:42,197
Yeah, umm, she's
about 80 years old, with this
461
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:45,346
wild, grey hair, and
this really big crooked nose.
462
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,722
Tell her about the walking stick.
463
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,892
Oh yeah, she had this
massive wooden walking stick.
464
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,387
Yeah, like a magic wand.
465
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,187
-Like a magic wand?
-Uhuh.
466
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,106
What a plain Jane, huh?
467
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,900
Yeah, I know.
You should have asked her out.
468
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,359
What? She was a five at best.
469
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,111
Yeah, but together you'd make a ten.
470
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:01,279
You're an asshole.
471
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,156
Five shelters and no sign of her.
472
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,908
Buddy, I've got
to tell you I'm starvin marvin,
473
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:07,410
you know what I'm saying?
474
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,493
This may be harder than I thought.
475
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:13,291
Look, uhh...
476
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:16,252
maybe we should eat something.
Maybe get a little Thai food?
477
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:17,295
-Maybe, just a...
-What?
478
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,297
Some Thai food.
Man, I'm starving, come on.
479
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,339
Sure. Whatever.
480
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,134
OK.
481
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:24,969
OK.
482
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,139
Look. Listen to me.
483
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:30,498
We will find this homeless woman.
484
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,601
This witch.
485
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:33,769
Whatever it is you think
she is, we will find her.
486
00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,605
Yeah, but what do I do until then?
487
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:36,939
I'm a chick, Steve.
488
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,154
Well, you know what?
489
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,406
-Embrace it.
-Embrace it?
490
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:46,574
Yes, Eddie.
491
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:47,950
Embrace it.
492
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,703
I mean, come on, Eddie, think about it.
493
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:53,956
A chance for you to see what
it's like on the other side.
494
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,334
Right? Embrace that!
495
00:22:58,252 --> 00:22:59,253
And, hey...
496
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:03,703
it may be a good time to do a
little research for your third book.
497
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:06,511
Yeah.
498
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:07,720
-Hmm.
-There you go.
499
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:08,888
Yeah.
500
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:10,556
I'm starving. Going to eat.
501
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,156
Good morning.
How can I help you?
502
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:28,366
Hey, guys. Ma'am.
503
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:29,700
Umm, look.
504
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,828
We're here to get my
sister here some chick clothes.
505
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,539
He, she needs a little of everything.
506
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:37,416
Fabulous.
You've come right place.
507
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:38,793
What is size?
508
00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,086
Uhh, 32 regular.
509
00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:42,547
Ha, just kidding.
510
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:43,714
Umm...
511
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:44,799
I'm a size...
512
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,926
-Two?
-Yeah, sure, two.
513
00:23:47,009 --> 00:23:48,010
Great.
514
00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,053
OK.
515
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,102
So, uhh...
516
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:58,646
you guys are from Russia, right?
517
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,314
Da, Moscow.
518
00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:02,358
Da. Cool.
519
00:24:03,234 --> 00:24:04,235
In winter
520
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,736
is so cold
521
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,572
we pray, global warming.
522
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:09,907
Hell, no.
523
00:24:10,199 --> 00:24:11,409
Oh, something wrong?
524
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,203
Yeah, this is messed up.
525
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,454
Wrong size?
526
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,081
You tell me.
527
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,252
Holy shit.
528
00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:22,962
Looks a good fit.
529
00:24:23,045 --> 00:24:27,091
So it's supposed to feel like someone's
cutting you in half with a rusty butter knife?
530
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:28,217
Da, pretty much.
531
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,761
I mean, I have to admit...
532
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,873
I do like how this displays the goods.
533
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:35,933
Perky, like pair of chipmunks.
534
00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:39,562
Steve, what do you think?
535
00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:40,897
Marry me.
536
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:42,357
Oh, shut the fuck up.
537
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,816
No, I'm serious. Marry me.
538
00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,735
Because you and I, we make a great couple.
539
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:47,445
What happens when I go through the change?
540
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:49,280
I'm not giving you any more hand jobs.
541
00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:52,783
She's really not my sister.
542
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,285
Americans.
543
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:57,497
No, no, no, she's actually
a little more like my brother.
544
00:24:57,580 --> 00:24:58,581
I'm sorry, Eddie.
545
00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:01,584
But, you mind turning around and
give me a little bit of that rusty butter?
546
00:25:01,626 --> 00:25:03,586
You're an idiot.
547
00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:05,296
OK.
548
00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:44,293
Hey, Eddy.
549
00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:45,795
How're you doing, man?
550
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,589
-Yeah, good to see you.
-Nice to see you.
551
00:25:47,672 --> 00:25:50,007
Eddy, Ed... Edna. Edna, Eddy.
552
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:52,468
Edna, my pleasure.
Ooh, firm handshake.
553
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:55,054
Buddy, she needs
the works. What do you think?
554
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:56,722
I mean, give her the works and put your...
555
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,724
We don't need to do
much. We'll just do her hair.
556
00:25:58,766 --> 00:25:59,767
Right, right.
557
00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:02,061
I got an amazing hair stylist, my wife.
558
00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:03,146
-Your wife?
-Your wife?
559
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,399
She's the best. Yeah, she's
amazing. You will be more than happy.
560
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,526
That's wonderful, Eddy,
thank you. Thank you so much.
561
00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:09,610
Sweetie.
562
00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:11,946
Come on out, baby.
Someone to meet somebody.
563
00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:14,323
You snapped.
You know what that means?
564
00:26:14,365 --> 00:26:15,784
-I know, I know.
-Excited.
565
00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:16,868
Right?
566
00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:19,745
Edna, this is James.
567
00:26:20,162 --> 00:26:21,247
Edna, James.
568
00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:23,457
-The best.
-Welcome to our salon.
569
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,585
-Only the best.
-Eddy James he starts, I finish.
570
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,836
Always a happy ending.
571
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:28,379
Well...
572
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:30,590
So are we doing anything with him?
573
00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:31,674
I'm fine.
574
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:34,218
-It's all about her.
-It's her today, baby.
575
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:37,055
-No, no, no.
-Don't.
576
00:26:37,138 --> 00:26:39,140
-Come on, not today.
-Don't even, start with it.
577
00:26:39,182 --> 00:26:40,183
Me, not today?
578
00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:42,643
You snap and look at him,
the way you just looked at him-
579
00:26:42,685 --> 00:26:44,645
-No, it's really about her.
-Yeah.
580
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,023
Which is why
I'm having a co... ex...
581
00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:48,566
-a conversation...
-I'm sorry.
582
00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:49,650
With my husband.
583
00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:50,693
You're flirting.
584
00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:53,905
Oh, no, I'm not, babe.
You know you're the one for me.
585
00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:57,575
-Anyways.
-I'm sorry.
586
00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:59,076
Yes, that's what I need.
587
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,286
And enough of that.
588
00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:01,996
Sweetheart, listen, let's get you started.
589
00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:03,998
Don't worry about this.
That's between him and I.
590
00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:05,374
We'll take care of you just fine.
591
00:27:05,416 --> 00:27:08,181
You're in good hands,
magic hands. Come with me.
592
00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:09,462
Do your magic.
593
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:10,546
You know I do.
594
00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:12,715
So...
595
00:27:13,216 --> 00:27:14,759
when the husband snaps
596
00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:17,553
I have magic to perform. So...
597
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:19,639
I am gonna give you a little...
598
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,015
Oh, gosh, I don't know.
599
00:27:21,098 --> 00:27:22,183
You know what I'm gonna do?
600
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,226
I'm gonna give you more waves
601
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,686
than a Hawaiian surf competition,
602
00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:25,946
how does that sound?
603
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,108
-Steve!
-Yo?
604
00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:32,527
What do you think?
605
00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:35,988
That's hot. Hot.
606
00:27:36,447 --> 00:27:37,657
It is hot, Steve.
607
00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,158
I mean, look at her
608
00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:40,576
but then look at you.
609
00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:43,204
How about I do you next, handsome?
610
00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:44,705
OK, I'm good.
611
00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:47,333
-Come on, Steve.
-Come on, Steve.
612
00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:48,793
Let James work his magic.
613
00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:49,836
I'm good.
614
00:27:49,919 --> 00:27:50,920
Steve...
615
00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:52,547
I promise I won't hurt you.
616
00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:53,798
Ah!
617
00:27:53,965 --> 00:27:55,383
Unless you want me to...
618
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:56,676
OK.
619
00:27:58,052 --> 00:27:59,095
Is it gonna hurt?
620
00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,388
Oh, don't worry.
621
00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:02,515
It's like giving head to a babushka.
622
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:03,683
Hmm? OK.
623
00:28:04,225 --> 00:28:05,226
One.
624
00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:06,519
Two.
625
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:07,519
Three!
626
00:28:18,072 --> 00:28:19,367
He... she deserves it.
627
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,216
OK.
628
00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,227
Last time I'm shopping with you, pal.
629
00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:42,346
Here we go.
630
00:28:44,765 --> 00:28:46,517
Look, I gotta get back to the office.
631
00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:47,602
But listen to me.
632
00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:50,354
I'm meeting Molly at the GC Marketplace.
633
00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:53,191
We're gonna discuss the
contract of your third book, so
634
00:28:53,274 --> 00:28:55,451
if you care to join us for a drink...
635
00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:57,570
I'm not hitting on you.
636
00:28:57,653 --> 00:28:59,530
-Right...
-Eddie, look, I get it.
637
00:28:59,572 --> 00:29:01,533
You're Eddie, you're
not Edna. I get that.
638
00:29:01,616 --> 00:29:02,617
-Uhuh.
-I mean...
639
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,619
I must have lost my mind, I mean
640
00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:05,870
you think about it.
641
00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:08,189
The situation's a little scary, right?
642
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:10,791
-Yeah, you can say that again.
-OK, so...
643
00:29:11,334 --> 00:29:13,211
we talked about
this. Embrace it.
644
00:29:13,294 --> 00:29:14,295
-Uhuh.
-Maybe
645
00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:15,964
see what it's like on the other side.
646
00:29:16,047 --> 00:29:17,215
-OK, you're right.
-Cool.
647
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,299
And maybe...
648
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:22,013
wear the slinky black dress with
the high heels and the thong.
649
00:30:35,084 --> 00:30:36,085
Hello.
650
00:30:36,919 --> 00:30:37,920
Hi.
651
00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:39,755
Are you new here?
652
00:30:40,673 --> 00:30:42,675
Yeah, I'm all new.
653
00:30:44,385 --> 00:30:46,268
I've never seen you here before.
654
00:30:46,804 --> 00:30:48,807
Can you put some lotion on my
back, please?
655
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:49,891
OK.
656
00:30:52,393 --> 00:30:53,728
Rub me really good.
657
00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:18,817
-Problem with the machine?
-No, problem with these.
658
00:31:19,295 --> 00:31:22,531
-Not used to running with them.
-You just get them done?
659
00:31:22,673 --> 00:31:25,427
-Yeah, you can say that.
-Well kudos to your doctor.
660
00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,512
-They look totally natural.
-You think so?
661
00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:28,888
Yeah, yeah.
I mean that I’d have to feel
662
00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:30,973
-them to know for sure.
-Excuse me?
663
00:31:31,349 --> 00:31:32,725
Yeah.
What do you say after work out,
664
00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:36,437
-we go back to my place, huh?
-Unbelievable.
665
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:40,900
-Come on, babe.
-I have a penis!
666
00:31:58,459 --> 00:32:00,628
Well, so, I end my set.
667
00:32:00,670 --> 00:32:03,590
I walked off the stage and
started looking for this young lady.
668
00:32:03,673 --> 00:32:07,468
Well, she’s sitting at this bar,
just like you.
669
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,554
And then I walked up holding
670
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:13,349
this panties, and I say,
"I think this belong to you."
671
00:32:15,643 --> 00:32:18,521
And she says, "Actually,"
but starts laughing though,
672
00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:22,275
"Actually, they are gift
for my grandmother."
673
00:32:22,483 --> 00:32:25,028
So after taking a look at
them, I realized...
674
00:32:25,111 --> 00:32:27,572
-They are granny panties.
-Yeah, big ones.
675
00:32:29,907 --> 00:32:31,701
Well anyway, you’ve got my number.
676
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:34,726
Alright, so give me a call.
I’ll see you, gorgeous.
677
00:32:36,414 --> 00:32:38,082
Wait a minute, aren’t you Frank Stallone?
678
00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:39,166
Sure, kid.
679
00:32:40,626 --> 00:32:42,253
-Who is that guy?
-Frank Stallone.
680
00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:44,547
Right. I knew it.
He doesn’t remember me.
681
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:47,050
We had this night, I mean,
it was dark and he...
682
00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:50,720
he was... he... he... I'll tell
you about it some other time.
683
00:32:50,803 --> 00:32:52,013
Back to business, beautiful.
I just...
684
00:32:52,054 --> 00:32:55,558
-Not gonna happen.
-As in not gonna happen?
685
00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:58,895
-Ever.
-As in never?
686
00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,814
Ever. Ever. Ever.
687
00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:05,652
-So I guess that’s a no.
-I would rather die.
688
00:33:05,735 --> 00:33:08,571
Okay.
Get to the point next time.
689
00:33:26,506 --> 00:33:29,884
-Holy shit!
-Hi, Molly Morrison.
690
00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:32,220
-Edna Greenleaf.
-Greenleaf?
691
00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:35,973
-Yeah, I am Eddie’s sister.
-Oh!
692
00:33:36,974 --> 00:33:39,560
-Nice to meet you.
-Very nice to meet you.
693
00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:43,231
She is great, great, great.
What the fuck did you do?
694
00:33:44,398 --> 00:33:46,025
What happened sweetheart?
Just a little...
695
00:33:46,108 --> 00:33:47,485
I had a little bit trouble, you know?
696
00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:50,238
-A little bit?
-Don’t wear makeup much?
697
00:33:50,738 --> 00:33:54,325
It’s my first time.
I mean, me and Eddie,
698
00:33:54,617 --> 00:33:57,853
-we are from Amish country.
-More like clownish country.
699
00:33:57,995 --> 00:34:00,331
-Again.
-Interesting.
700
00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:03,876
No. Hey, look.
What is interesting, ladies.
701
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,711
We don’t care about you.
Go this way.
702
00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:07,922
Okay, umm...
what are we doing?
703
00:34:10,174 --> 00:34:13,135
You ever heard of Van...
D... Gogh.
704
00:34:14,595 --> 00:34:16,595
He’s got no ears!
What do you know.
705
00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:19,694
Hey, how are you guys doing?
Hey dreamboat.
706
00:34:21,352 --> 00:34:23,764
NO, not you, shipwreck.
I was taking to...
707
00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:38,828
-What took you guys so long?
-Rome wasn’t built a day.
708
00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:41,735
What the fuck does that have
to do with anything?
709
00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:45,459
Rome. I like that show.
I watch that show.
710
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:47,674
Drink?
Let me get the drink.
711
00:34:52,925 --> 00:34:56,053
Hey, isn’t that chick
from homeless shelter.
712
00:34:56,637 --> 00:34:59,765
-Jess something.
-Yeah. I think so.
713
00:35:02,143 --> 00:35:04,673
-I wonder why she is here alone.
-Who cares?
714
00:35:05,479 --> 00:35:07,899
-I think I am gonna go say hi.
-Wh... why?
715
00:35:08,566 --> 00:35:12,695
-To be polite.
-You? I mean, yeah.
716
00:35:13,696 --> 00:35:15,698
Go ahead.
And I am outta here, ok?
717
00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:17,408
-Sounds good.
-Yeah, me too.
718
00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:21,371
Wait a minute.
How would you like a ride?
719
00:35:21,454 --> 00:35:23,337
-I think I am going right...
-No.
720
00:35:24,415 --> 00:35:26,334
Okay. How about you give me a
ride home
721
00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:30,046
-because I don’t have a car.
-No.
722
00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:35,343
You know, I saw this article today.
723
00:35:36,552 --> 00:35:38,387
Hi.
-Hi.
724
00:35:38,846 --> 00:35:40,376
Do you mind if I join you?
725
00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:42,600
-Do we know each other?
-Yeah, we met at
726
00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:44,727
the homeless shelter.
I was looking for that
727
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:47,813
-homeless woman took my ID.
-Oh, that’s right.
728
00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:52,652
-Your name was... Edna.
-Yeah, Edna.
729
00:35:52,985 --> 00:35:55,738
-Sure, have a seat.
-Thanks.
730
00:35:56,948 --> 00:35:58,407
-It’s Jess, right?
-Yup.
731
00:35:59,742 --> 00:36:00,801
So you here alone?
732
00:36:02,161 --> 00:36:04,080
-No.
-Alright.
733
00:36:06,123 --> 00:36:09,001
-You want some?
-I’m good, thanks.
734
00:36:09,460 --> 00:36:12,338
So did you ever find that
woman you were looking for?
735
00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:15,508
-Not yet.
-You got...
736
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:19,483
-What?
-You got something here.
737
00:36:21,138 --> 00:36:24,267
-Thank you.
-There. All gone.
738
00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:32,074
-Can I ask you something?
-Yeah. Sure.
739
00:36:32,441 --> 00:36:34,861
-Are you hitting on me?
-I am sorry.
740
00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:38,447
I mean, I am flattered and all.
But...
741
00:36:39,115 --> 00:36:41,284
-I am straight.
-Yeah, so am I.
742
00:36:42,702 --> 00:36:45,288
Oh. Oh my gosh.
I am so sorry.
743
00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:47,957
No, it’s fine.
Don’t worry about it.
744
00:36:48,291 --> 00:36:50,627
Well, in fact, it’s been a while since...
745
00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:52,593
-since anyone hit on me.
-Really?
746
00:36:52,962 --> 00:36:54,338
It’s hard to believe.
747
00:36:56,465 --> 00:36:58,593
Ok. It’s all about confidence.
748
00:36:58,926 --> 00:37:00,678
You have to believe you are
the most attractive,
749
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:04,098
-desirable person in the room.
-Yeah, that’s not me.
750
00:37:05,224 --> 00:37:08,394
Okay, well, there’s always
liquid confidence.
751
00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,439
-Liquid confidence?
-Mhm.
752
00:37:13,691 --> 00:37:14,567
Thank you.
753
00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:34,879
Ok, Jess.
Do you see that guy
754
00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:36,216
over there at the bar?
755
00:37:39,008 --> 00:37:41,244
I want you to go over and talk to him.
756
00:37:44,430 --> 00:37:46,307
Nope.
No way.
757
00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:47,934
Come on.
What is the worst that’s
758
00:37:47,975 --> 00:37:48,976
gonna happen?
759
00:37:49,477 --> 00:37:53,856
I’ll try to flirt, and he'll
laugh so hard that he...
760
00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:57,276
he falls off his chair, bangs his head,
761
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,445
and he is in coma.
762
00:38:00,988 --> 00:38:03,658
Wow, you’ve got quite an imagination.
763
00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:07,537
-I'm just saying, I can’t.
-Come on, Jess.
764
00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:08,955
Come on.
765
00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:16,337
You are a smart, confident woman.
766
00:38:16,379 --> 00:38:19,382
That guy, he would be so lucky
to date you.
767
00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:23,511
I'm a smart, confident woman...
768
00:38:25,471 --> 00:38:26,722
-Ok.
-Ok. Wait.
769
00:38:27,807 --> 00:38:29,337
Do you need those glasses?
770
00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:33,646
-Only to see.
-OK. That’s fine.
771
00:38:34,605 --> 00:38:36,148
-Okay.
-You look great.
772
00:38:54,542 --> 00:38:56,544
-Hi.
-Hey.
773
00:38:58,462 --> 00:38:59,547
Watching the game?
774
00:39:00,089 --> 00:39:01,795
Yeah, I am watching the game.
775
00:39:04,302 --> 00:39:06,137
-I’m Jess.
-Dylan.
776
00:39:08,472 --> 00:39:11,684
So, Dylan, you come here often?
777
00:39:13,060 --> 00:39:16,606
Look. I bet you are really
nice person,
778
00:39:16,898 --> 00:39:20,193
but I have girlfriend, and I’m
a little bit busy right now.
779
00:39:20,276 --> 00:39:23,696
-So I am sorry.
-I am really sorry.
780
00:39:25,198 --> 00:39:28,492
Friggin’ Dodgers.
Biggest payroll in baseball
781
00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:30,370
and they're playing like minor leaguers.
782
00:39:30,453 --> 00:39:31,865
Tell me about it.
I know.
783
00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:34,582
I bet you can hit better than Bradley.
784
00:39:34,665 --> 00:39:38,336
-And look better doing it.
-Dylan.
785
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:40,979
-Edna.
-Edna, can I buy you a drink?
786
00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:43,542
-Yeah, sure.
-What would you like to have?
787
00:39:44,634 --> 00:39:47,470
Dirty martini.
Extra dirty.
788
00:39:48,638 --> 00:39:53,518
Papa, can I get a dirty martini.
Extra dirty, please.
789
00:39:54,393 --> 00:39:56,688
So, Edna, how come I’ve never seen you?
790
00:39:56,896 --> 00:40:00,233
-It’s me first time in here.
-I guess this is my lucky day.
791
00:40:00,316 --> 00:40:01,611
I guess it’s mine too.
792
00:40:02,610 --> 00:40:03,569
Thank you.
793
00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:07,825
-Can I ask you a question?
-Sure. Shoot.
794
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:12,078
-Are you single?
-As matter of fact, I am.
795
00:40:12,703 --> 00:40:13,704
I see.
796
00:40:18,501 --> 00:40:20,170
-What the hell?
-Come on, Jess.
797
00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:22,665
We are going.
He is a right wanker anyway.
798
00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:32,849
-That was awesome.
-It really was.
799
00:40:33,057 --> 00:40:34,433
You shot that guy down.
800
00:40:36,269 --> 00:40:37,478
Down to the ground.
801
00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:41,440
-You just snorted.
-Oh, I am sorry.
802
00:40:41,732 --> 00:40:43,484
Come on.
It’s really cute.
803
00:40:43,693 --> 00:40:47,405
-Why are hot guys like that?
-What do you mean?
804
00:40:47,905 --> 00:40:51,367
-You know like... ow!
-I am sorry, Jess.
805
00:40:51,450 --> 00:40:55,121
-Like superficial dirt bags.
-I know, right.
806
00:40:55,913 --> 00:40:59,876
-Why do you think that is?
-I... I don’t know.
807
00:41:00,209 --> 00:41:02,461
-I mean, men right?
-Men.
808
00:41:02,962 --> 00:41:05,923
Do you want me to give you
a ride back to mine?
809
00:41:08,384 --> 00:41:09,468
Jess, are you ok?
810
00:41:11,846 --> 00:41:12,847
You all right?
811
00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:20,021
Look. It’s cheese fries.
812
00:41:20,396 --> 00:41:21,981
I mean, are you all right?
813
00:41:23,065 --> 00:41:25,124
I’m going to take you back to mine.
814
00:42:11,739 --> 00:42:13,074
Welcome to adult warehouse.
815
00:42:13,115 --> 00:42:15,468
The paradise for sexually-active adults.
816
00:42:15,743 --> 00:42:18,663
Um, hi.
I was kinda, you know,
817
00:42:18,704 --> 00:42:20,790
wandering outside, and thought
I’d come in have a look.
818
00:42:20,873 --> 00:42:22,167
Don’t worry, nothing in here bites.
819
00:42:22,250 --> 00:42:25,253
-Unless you want it to.
-Good one.
820
00:42:25,545 --> 00:42:27,422
-Do you have any questions?
-We are here to serve you.
821
00:42:27,505 --> 00:42:29,715
Yeah.
You guys have anything
822
00:42:29,757 --> 00:42:31,801
you recommend if you wanna, you know.
823
00:42:31,884 --> 00:42:35,680
-Get your Amelia Earhart on?
-I’m sorry?
824
00:42:36,097 --> 00:42:38,933
She means fly solo.
Yeah, yeah, that.
825
00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:40,768
-Wonderful.
-Right this way.
826
00:42:48,234 --> 00:42:50,278
This is where you’ll find your
beaver buzzers,
827
00:42:50,319 --> 00:42:52,572
magic wands, pussy plungers,
hamburger helpers
828
00:42:52,613 --> 00:42:53,781
and wacky wobblers.
829
00:42:54,115 --> 00:42:56,325
Personally, I like the butterfly.
830
00:42:56,701 --> 00:42:58,202
It really makes me squirt!
831
00:42:58,244 --> 00:42:59,954
And I like the butterfly too.
832
00:43:00,037 --> 00:43:01,873
You can even get one with a butt plug.
833
00:43:01,956 --> 00:43:04,125
It makes you wonder why you
put up with guys and all their games.
834
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:05,209
It really does.
835
00:43:07,962 --> 00:43:08,963
Hey!
836
00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:12,258
That blow-up doll is
for display purposes only!
837
00:43:12,341 --> 00:43:14,224
Yeah, we're talking to you, pal!
838
00:43:16,929 --> 00:43:18,764
School principals.
839
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,226
Well... have fun.
840
00:43:22,393 --> 00:43:24,688
Find us if you have any more questions.
841
00:43:28,191 --> 00:43:29,442
Holy shit!
842
00:43:47,335 --> 00:43:48,836
Need some help?
843
00:43:49,045 --> 00:43:50,046
Yeah, thanks.
844
00:43:52,590 --> 00:43:53,800
Never been here before.
845
00:43:53,883 --> 00:43:56,344
Well, I think they have a, a policy.
846
00:43:56,427 --> 00:43:58,346
You knock it to the floor, you bought it.
847
00:43:58,429 --> 00:44:00,097
Well, I guess I'll have
to throw a party, then.
848
00:44:00,139 --> 00:44:01,307
I'm Matt.
849
00:44:02,099 --> 00:44:03,726
-Edna.
-I'm here to...
850
00:44:04,185 --> 00:44:05,656
find a gag gift for my...
851
00:44:06,062 --> 00:44:07,522
my buddy's bachelor party.
852
00:44:07,605 --> 00:44:09,149
Wow, if you're looking to gag someone
853
00:44:09,232 --> 00:44:10,733
I think this might do the trick.
854
00:44:10,816 --> 00:44:11,817
Wow.
855
00:44:11,859 --> 00:44:13,111
Think they modeled that on someone?
856
00:44:13,194 --> 00:44:14,820
Yeah. Sea Biscuit.
857
00:44:17,865 --> 00:44:19,283
A girl who knows her horses.
858
00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:20,785
That's really unusual.
859
00:44:20,868 --> 00:44:21,869
Yeah.
860
00:44:22,203 --> 00:44:23,871
-I'm pretty unusual.
-Really?
861
00:44:24,956 --> 00:44:27,876
OK, I... I know this might
seem forward and all, but...
862
00:44:27,959 --> 00:44:31,504
what would you think about meeting
me for a cup of coffee some time?
863
00:44:31,587 --> 00:44:33,940
Now, you don't have to decide right now.
864
00:44:34,257 --> 00:44:35,216
Here's my card.
865
00:44:35,758 --> 00:44:36,759
You get thirsty,
866
00:44:36,843 --> 00:44:37,802
you give me a call.
867
00:44:37,885 --> 00:44:38,886
All right.
868
00:44:40,096 --> 00:44:43,038
And, it doesn't have
to be coffee. It could be tea.
869
00:44:43,432 --> 00:44:45,197
Whatever you like. It's on me.
870
00:44:50,231 --> 00:44:52,317
I think I'm gonna fix him up with Jess.
871
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:53,401
Uhuh.
872
00:44:54,485 --> 00:44:56,153
-An investment banker.
-Uhuh.
873
00:44:56,195 --> 00:44:58,548
-Not bad.
-He's pretty good looking, too.
874
00:44:59,323 --> 00:45:00,950
OK. Is that
Eddie or Edna talking?
875
00:45:01,033 --> 00:45:02,445
-Umm...
-I'm just saying.
876
00:45:04,370 --> 00:45:05,746
So, uhh... wow.
877
00:45:06,622 --> 00:45:07,858
Where'd you meet him?
878
00:45:08,958 --> 00:45:09,959
Where?
879
00:45:10,376 --> 00:45:12,295
Yeah, where?
What is it, a secret?
880
00:45:12,378 --> 00:45:13,546
Nope.
881
00:45:15,464 --> 00:45:16,876
So where'd you meet him?
882
00:45:20,052 --> 00:45:21,387
Adult Warehouse.
883
00:45:21,596 --> 00:45:24,307
I mean, I had to get out of here
before I wore out my nipples.
884
00:45:24,348 --> 00:45:26,267
Oh, really? Yeah,
I get that. The question is
885
00:45:26,350 --> 00:45:27,703
did you buy anything...
886
00:45:29,020 --> 00:45:30,021
What?
887
00:45:30,229 --> 00:45:31,606
-I mean...
-Eddie!
888
00:45:32,148 --> 00:45:34,400
I mean, really?
I said embrace it, but...
889
00:45:34,483 --> 00:45:36,601
-I just...
-This, this will kill you.
890
00:45:36,736 --> 00:45:39,239
I thought it might be useful
for my third book, you know?
891
00:45:39,322 --> 00:45:41,032
Third book?
Third and final book.
892
00:45:41,073 --> 00:45:42,534
What are you doing to yourself here?
893
00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:43,618
My god.
894
00:45:43,701 --> 00:45:44,760
-Yeah...
-I mean...
895
00:45:45,119 --> 00:45:46,162
you embraced it.
896
00:45:47,455 --> 00:45:49,207
OK, I just gotta tell you.
897
00:45:49,248 --> 00:45:51,484
This, the whole thing, I'm not feeling
898
00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:53,169
too good about, this.
899
00:45:53,211 --> 00:45:55,922
Well, I just wanted to
test my female parts, you know?
900
00:45:56,005 --> 00:45:57,006
I'm out of here, pal.
901
00:45:57,048 --> 00:45:58,800
You've got your
own... you're home now.
902
00:45:58,883 --> 00:46:00,119
That's just too much.
903
00:46:12,146 --> 00:46:14,816
Don't worry, OK? We'll find a
place for you to sleep tonight.
904
00:46:14,899 --> 00:46:17,193
Even if you have to
come home and stay at mine.
905
00:46:17,276 --> 00:46:18,319
-OK?
-OK.
906
00:46:18,402 --> 00:46:19,820
So sweet.
907
00:46:20,738 --> 00:46:22,281
-Edna. Hi.
-Hi, Jess.
908
00:46:22,323 --> 00:46:24,659
Why don't you go
wait by there? OK, then?
909
00:46:24,742 --> 00:46:27,213
Just stopping by,
cause I found you a date.
910
00:46:27,578 --> 00:46:28,579
You did?
911
00:46:28,913 --> 00:46:32,124
He's nice-looking,
successful, good sense of humor.
912
00:46:32,208 --> 00:46:33,267
What do you think?
913
00:46:33,501 --> 00:46:34,585
I don't know...
914
00:46:34,669 --> 00:46:37,714
Oh, come on, Jess, you asked
me to introduce you to someone.
915
00:46:37,797 --> 00:46:38,798
I know.
916
00:46:39,215 --> 00:46:40,508
So, what's the problem?
917
00:46:40,591 --> 00:46:41,592
It's just...
918
00:46:41,717 --> 00:46:45,070
I don't think I can take any
more rejection right now, OK?
919
00:46:51,269 --> 00:46:54,681
There are a few things we could
do to improve your chances.
920
00:46:54,856 --> 00:46:55,898
What do you mean?
921
00:46:56,190 --> 00:46:57,191
Do you trust me?
922
00:46:58,818 --> 00:46:59,819
Yes...
923
00:47:00,152 --> 00:47:01,612
Sweetheart, listen.
924
00:47:03,114 --> 00:47:04,703
When I get done with you...
925
00:47:05,283 --> 00:47:06,701
you are going to attract
926
00:47:06,826 --> 00:47:09,203
more men, than pre-menopausal Madonna.
927
00:47:09,579 --> 00:47:11,697
-Oh, you really think so?
-I know so.
928
00:47:11,998 --> 00:47:13,175
You see these hands?
929
00:47:14,709 --> 00:47:16,419
These are magical hands.
930
00:47:16,502 --> 00:47:19,589
And they should be registered
with the Magicians' Guild of America.
931
00:47:19,672 --> 00:47:21,299
Trust me, Jess, he's the best.
932
00:47:21,382 --> 00:47:22,717
That's what he said.
933
00:47:23,843 --> 00:47:24,844
Uhuh.
934
00:47:27,972 --> 00:47:29,724
OK, here I come.
935
00:47:35,188 --> 00:47:36,189
Wow.
936
00:47:36,689 --> 00:47:39,734
You've become beautiful moth.
937
00:47:39,942 --> 00:47:41,402
Don't you mean, butterfly?
938
00:47:41,485 --> 00:47:42,486
Whatever.
939
00:47:43,696 --> 00:47:46,032
Are you sure it's not
a little, too revealing?
940
00:47:46,115 --> 00:47:47,241
No, no.
941
00:47:47,783 --> 00:47:50,254
It's the, uhh,
perfect amount of revealing.
942
00:47:50,745 --> 00:47:53,164
Now you are ready, become trophy wife.
943
00:47:53,247 --> 00:47:55,541
Oh, that's not my goal.
944
00:47:57,293 --> 00:47:59,293
All you have to do is be yourself.
945
00:47:59,420 --> 00:48:01,185
I mean, there's a lot to like.
946
00:48:01,839 --> 00:48:02,840
You think so?
947
00:48:03,466 --> 00:48:04,717
More than you know.
948
00:48:06,427 --> 00:48:07,839
Can I ask you something?
949
00:48:08,304 --> 00:48:09,972
-Sure.
-How come...
950
00:48:10,515 --> 00:48:12,892
you haven't tried to
fix me up with your brother?
951
00:48:12,975 --> 00:48:14,310
-With Eddie?
-Uhuh.
952
00:48:14,644 --> 00:48:15,645
Umm...
953
00:48:15,811 --> 00:48:16,812
Uhh...
954
00:48:17,772 --> 00:48:19,566
Because I don't know
when he's coming back.
955
00:48:19,649 --> 00:48:20,650
Where did he go?
956
00:48:21,067 --> 00:48:22,068
Eddie...
957
00:48:22,151 --> 00:48:23,152
went to prison.
958
00:48:28,074 --> 00:48:29,075
Shut up.
959
00:48:32,161 --> 00:48:33,162
Oh my gosh.
960
00:48:33,913 --> 00:48:34,914
I'm so sorry.
961
00:48:35,248 --> 00:48:36,249
It's OK.
962
00:48:36,582 --> 00:48:38,209
It must be really hard on your family.
963
00:48:38,292 --> 00:48:39,502
Yeah, it is.
964
00:48:41,254 --> 00:48:42,549
Can I ask what he did?
965
00:48:44,423 --> 00:48:45,466
Eddie's a fraud.
966
00:48:46,467 --> 00:48:48,469
I mean like, he committed a fraud.
967
00:48:49,136 --> 00:48:50,513
Wow. Really?
968
00:48:55,643 --> 00:48:57,879
-Crazy white people.
-Tell me about it.
969
00:48:58,187 --> 00:48:59,564
I think this one is a lesbian.
970
00:48:59,647 --> 00:49:00,648
Really?
971
00:49:00,898 --> 00:49:02,149
Strange vibe.
972
00:49:02,567 --> 00:49:05,111
Maybe you should fix
her up with your cousin.
973
00:49:05,194 --> 00:49:07,655
She doesn't like white chicks.
974
00:49:18,666 --> 00:49:21,961
I'm thinking of taking Eddie's
place in the fashion show.
975
00:49:22,420 --> 00:49:24,126
It's for a good cause, right?
976
00:49:24,839 --> 00:49:26,632
No, I was out with Jess.
977
00:49:27,216 --> 00:49:28,746
We went and got pedicures.
978
00:49:29,552 --> 00:49:31,637
My feet have never looked so good.
979
00:49:32,889 --> 00:49:33,890
What?
980
00:49:34,182 --> 00:49:36,684
I am not sending you a picture of my feet.
981
00:49:37,268 --> 00:49:38,436
Goodbye, Steve!
982
00:49:40,980 --> 00:49:41,981
I mean
983
00:49:42,023 --> 00:49:44,141
what's the big deal with this thing?
984
00:49:47,153 --> 00:49:48,154
Damn.
985
00:49:56,954 --> 00:49:58,873
OK, remember.
If you and Matt hit it off
986
00:49:58,956 --> 00:50:01,751
just say the code word and
I'll make an excuse to leave.
987
00:50:01,834 --> 00:50:02,835
Bananas. Hmm?
988
00:50:03,419 --> 00:50:04,714
All right, we're here.
989
00:50:08,341 --> 00:50:09,342
-Hi.
-Hi.
990
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,389
I hope you don't mind, I...
991
00:50:11,677 --> 00:50:12,846
brought along a friend.
992
00:50:12,929 --> 00:50:13,930
This is Jess.
993
00:50:14,514 --> 00:50:16,182
-This is Matt.
-Hi. Nice to meet you.
994
00:50:16,224 --> 00:50:17,225
Nice to meet you.
995
00:50:17,558 --> 00:50:19,102
So, what would you guys like to drink?
996
00:50:19,185 --> 00:50:20,770
No, no, no. Let me get this.
997
00:50:20,811 --> 00:50:22,897
No, no. You guys chat
and get to know each other.
998
00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:24,333
I'll go get the drinks.
999
00:50:24,690 --> 00:50:26,317
-OK.
-A cappuccino.
1000
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,401
Cool.
1001
00:50:36,869 --> 00:50:38,037
Here you go.
1002
00:50:41,916 --> 00:50:45,564
-What can I get started for you?
-Uhh, two cappuccinos, please.
1003
00:50:46,838 --> 00:50:47,839
Here you go. Hey.
1004
00:50:48,464 --> 00:50:49,465
That's for you.
1005
00:50:52,343 --> 00:50:55,889
You gotta get those young ladies
used to getting flowers, you know?
1006
00:50:55,972 --> 00:50:57,890
That's true, that's true.
1007
00:50:57,974 --> 00:51:00,445
It's not gonna be
the last time, hopefully.
1008
00:51:00,852 --> 00:51:01,894
Hopefully not.
1009
00:51:02,311 --> 00:51:03,488
Can I get your name?
1010
00:51:03,729 --> 00:51:04,730
And your number?
1011
00:51:06,524 --> 00:51:08,642
What? What do
you need my number for?
1012
00:51:08,776 --> 00:51:10,188
So I can call you later.
1013
00:51:10,319 --> 00:51:11,320
OK, look.
1014
00:51:11,821 --> 00:51:12,822
I'm a dude.
1015
00:51:13,698 --> 00:51:14,699
You're a dude.
1016
00:51:14,991 --> 00:51:16,109
Yeah, that's right.
1017
00:51:16,826 --> 00:51:18,161
What're you playing?
Hide the banana?
1018
00:51:18,244 --> 00:51:19,774
Yeah, something like that.
1019
00:51:20,288 --> 00:51:22,288
You could've just said no, thanks.
1020
00:51:22,957 --> 00:51:24,781
You're a fine-ass dude, though.
1021
00:51:31,465 --> 00:51:33,467
-There you go.
-Oh, thank you.
1022
00:51:33,551 --> 00:51:34,552
Cappuccino.
1023
00:51:36,345 --> 00:51:38,890
Did you know that Matt
volunteers at a homeless shelter?
1024
00:51:38,931 --> 00:51:40,975
-No.
-Yeah, it's no big deal. I...
1025
00:51:41,392 --> 00:51:44,187
I was raised by a family
who believe in giving back.
1026
00:51:44,270 --> 00:51:45,271
Oh.
1027
00:51:45,646 --> 00:51:48,399
Actually, he's gonna volunteer
at my shelter this weekend.
1028
00:51:48,482 --> 00:51:49,483
Really?
1029
00:51:49,525 --> 00:51:52,362
Yeah, I figure I'm doing my part
no matter which shelter I'm at.
1030
00:51:52,445 --> 00:51:53,446
OK.
1031
00:51:53,738 --> 00:51:55,949
So at what shelter
do you normally volunteer at?
1032
00:51:56,032 --> 00:51:57,491
Uhh, you...
1033
00:51:57,867 --> 00:52:00,161
probably wouldn't know.
It's on the other side of town.
1034
00:52:00,244 --> 00:52:01,245
Actually...
1035
00:52:01,454 --> 00:52:03,456
I know pretty much every shelter in town.
1036
00:52:03,539 --> 00:52:05,416
Right.
1037
00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:06,694
Go on, give me a try.
1038
00:52:07,084 --> 00:52:08,085
Uhh...
1039
00:52:08,628 --> 00:52:10,004
OK, umm...
1040
00:52:10,379 --> 00:52:11,714
Well, it's... umm...
1041
00:52:12,882 --> 00:52:13,883
it's on...
1042
00:52:14,342 --> 00:52:17,136
Edna, did you happen to see if the, umm...
1043
00:52:17,595 --> 00:52:19,013
if they have any bananas?
1044
00:52:19,096 --> 00:52:20,097
I'm sorry?
1045
00:52:20,473 --> 00:52:22,183
You know, bananas.
1046
00:52:22,808 --> 00:52:24,268
My banana's gone AWOL.
1047
00:52:25,311 --> 00:52:26,312
What?
1048
00:52:29,315 --> 00:52:30,492
I mean, our bananas.
1049
00:52:31,275 --> 00:52:32,923
They don't have any bananas.
1050
00:52:33,486 --> 00:52:34,487
Oh...
1051
00:52:34,529 --> 00:52:37,823
Uhh, I'd be happy to
split my cup cake with you.
1052
00:52:38,533 --> 00:52:40,651
-Oh god.
-Thank you, that's so sweet.
1053
00:52:40,826 --> 00:52:42,787
You know, I'm gonna really have to go.
1054
00:52:42,870 --> 00:52:44,789
I've got something really
important to take care of.
1055
00:52:44,872 --> 00:52:46,082
-Oh, really?
-Uhuh.
1056
00:52:46,249 --> 00:52:47,333
Yeah, but you guys,
1057
00:52:47,416 --> 00:52:49,828
you guys have fun.
Get to know each other.
1058
00:52:50,378 --> 00:52:51,379
Is that OK with you, Jess?
1059
00:52:51,462 --> 00:52:52,463
I'd like that.
1060
00:52:52,922 --> 00:52:53,923
Great.
1061
00:52:55,049 --> 00:52:56,050
See ya.
1062
00:52:56,175 --> 00:52:57,176
Yeah.
1063
00:52:59,178 --> 00:53:00,179
So...
1064
00:53:00,763 --> 00:53:02,015
tell me a little about yourself.
1065
00:53:02,098 --> 00:53:03,981
Well, umm, as you know I work...
1066
00:53:04,559 --> 00:53:06,310
-You're jealous.
-No, I'm not.
1067
00:53:06,394 --> 00:53:07,395
Bullshit.
1068
00:53:07,687 --> 00:53:09,939
Look, I'm just a little worried about her.
1069
00:53:10,022 --> 00:53:12,025
Why? You're the one
who set them up, right?
1070
00:53:12,108 --> 00:53:13,735
I thought it'd be different.
1071
00:53:13,818 --> 00:53:16,348
Different? Why? What
do you mean? Like what?
1072
00:53:16,654 --> 00:53:18,072
Different than us.
1073
00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:19,282
What?
1074
00:53:19,949 --> 00:53:22,869
Look. Maybe it's my
female hormones talking, but...
1075
00:53:22,952 --> 00:53:26,717
the idea of tricking women to
get them into bed, it just seems...
1076
00:53:26,998 --> 00:53:27,999
wrong.
1077
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,393
Is there any other way?
1078
00:53:30,626 --> 00:53:32,587
Besides, you're the one
who wrote the how-to manual.
1079
00:53:32,670 --> 00:53:34,505
-I know.
-Actually, two manuals
1080
00:53:34,714 --> 00:53:37,067
-the blog, the article...
-I said I know.
1081
00:53:37,592 --> 00:53:39,177
-Touchy.
-Hey, you're the one who told me
1082
00:53:39,218 --> 00:53:42,689
I should start looking at stuff
from a female's perspective.
1083
00:53:43,014 --> 00:53:44,309
Damn, I did, didn't I?
1084
00:53:44,515 --> 00:53:47,644
Umm, I'm just starting to realize
there's more to life than one-night stands.
1085
00:53:47,727 --> 00:53:48,728
Is there?
1086
00:53:49,562 --> 00:53:53,149
I mean, haven't you ever thought
about being in a relationship?
1087
00:53:53,232 --> 00:53:55,056
You know, like getting married?
1088
00:53:55,484 --> 00:53:56,986
Dude, that's messed up.
1089
00:53:57,236 --> 00:53:58,237
Is it?
1090
00:53:58,279 --> 00:53:59,632
I mean, come on, Eddie.
1091
00:54:00,406 --> 00:54:03,159
Please, you're starting to sound
like an old woman, or an old man
1092
00:54:03,242 --> 00:54:05,536
or, whatever it is that you are.
1093
00:54:06,579 --> 00:54:08,932
-OK, maybe you're right.
-No, I am right.
1094
00:54:09,540 --> 00:54:10,541
It's just...
1095
00:54:10,791 --> 00:54:14,615
you know, Jess, she's different
to the other girls I've been with.
1096
00:54:15,046 --> 00:54:16,423
What is that supposed to mean, Eddie?
1097
00:54:16,506 --> 00:54:19,050
She's kind, she's smart, she's vulnerable.
1098
00:54:19,217 --> 00:54:22,637
And when she laughs, she does
like, you know, this sort of snort thing.
1099
00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:23,846
It's really cute.
1100
00:54:24,639 --> 00:54:25,640
Oh shit!
1101
00:54:26,390 --> 00:54:27,475
You're falling for her.
1102
00:54:27,558 --> 00:54:28,809
-That's crazy.
-Is it?
1103
00:54:29,268 --> 00:54:31,438
-Hey, we're up next!
-You know I'm right.
1104
00:54:31,521 --> 00:54:33,022
-Yeah?
-I know you're an idiot.
1105
00:54:33,105 --> 00:54:35,108
Yeah, I'm an idiot, but
you're in love with Jess.
1106
00:54:35,191 --> 00:54:36,984
You're in love with Jess.
1107
00:54:37,151 --> 00:54:38,653
You're in love with...
1108
00:54:43,241 --> 00:54:44,325
You're an idiot.
1109
00:54:51,499 --> 00:54:52,500
-Hi.
-Hi.
1110
00:54:52,583 --> 00:54:54,294
I was just actually running a bath.
1111
00:54:54,377 --> 00:54:56,003
Oh. I can go and come back.
1112
00:54:56,087 --> 00:54:57,297
Don't be silly, come on in.
1113
00:54:57,380 --> 00:54:59,424
I can pour you some wine,
we can talk while I soak.
1114
00:54:59,507 --> 00:55:00,716
Oh.
1115
00:55:00,758 --> 00:55:01,843
Something wrong?
1116
00:55:01,926 --> 00:55:02,927
Uh, no.
1117
00:55:03,177 --> 00:55:04,387
Good. So, red or white?
1118
00:55:04,470 --> 00:55:06,139
Uhh, red. Red would be great.
1119
00:55:06,222 --> 00:55:07,223
Red it is.
1120
00:55:07,932 --> 00:55:09,141
This is my kitchen.
1121
00:55:09,225 --> 00:55:10,810
Oh, very nice. I like it.
1122
00:55:10,852 --> 00:55:12,061
Sorry, it's a little bit of a mess.
1123
00:55:12,144 --> 00:55:13,145
No, no.
1124
00:55:13,938 --> 00:55:15,815
Oh, this is all that's left.
1125
00:55:19,861 --> 00:55:20,862
Oh.
1126
00:55:21,153 --> 00:55:22,154
Thirsty?
1127
00:55:22,864 --> 00:55:23,865
Yeah.
1128
00:55:24,657 --> 00:55:25,741
All right, then.
1129
00:55:26,325 --> 00:55:27,326
Follow me.
1130
00:55:31,998 --> 00:55:33,410
Have a seat right there.
1131
00:55:34,542 --> 00:55:36,484
I'd invite you to join me, but...
1132
00:55:40,006 --> 00:55:41,418
Are you all right, Edna?
1133
00:55:42,383 --> 00:55:43,384
What?
1134
00:55:44,343 --> 00:55:45,344
I'm good.
1135
00:55:45,928 --> 00:55:46,929
OK.
1136
00:55:51,434 --> 00:55:53,317
So, you said you wanted to talk?
1137
00:55:53,561 --> 00:55:57,148
Yeah, yeah, I'm just kind of curious
about how things with you and Matt go.
1138
00:55:57,231 --> 00:55:58,232
Really well.
1139
00:55:58,357 --> 00:55:59,859
We've been talking every day on the phone.
1140
00:55:59,942 --> 00:56:01,486
Oh, so you're gonna see him again?
1141
00:56:01,569 --> 00:56:03,738
Tomorrow, when he
volunteers at the shelter.
1142
00:56:03,821 --> 00:56:04,822
Right.
1143
00:56:05,114 --> 00:56:07,450
You know, he seems like a great guy.
1144
00:56:08,326 --> 00:56:11,079
Yeah, I mean, he does
seem that way, doesn't he?
1145
00:56:11,162 --> 00:56:13,581
Plus, he is so dreamy.
1146
00:56:13,831 --> 00:56:14,832
OK, Jess.
1147
00:56:15,124 --> 00:56:16,835
Promise me you'll be careful again.
1148
00:56:16,918 --> 00:56:17,960
What do you mean?
1149
00:56:18,127 --> 00:56:20,171
I just don't know Matt that well.
1150
00:56:20,379 --> 00:56:21,674
And sometimes, guys...
1151
00:56:22,048 --> 00:56:23,257
they can be snakes.
1152
00:56:23,716 --> 00:56:24,717
You're so sweet.
1153
00:56:24,842 --> 00:56:25,843
Yeah.
1154
00:56:26,093 --> 00:56:27,270
I'm a lot of things.
1155
00:56:27,845 --> 00:56:30,723
So, how come you didn't
go after Matt yourself?
1156
00:56:31,474 --> 00:56:32,886
He's not really my type.
1157
00:56:33,059 --> 00:56:34,560
-No?
-Nah.
1158
00:56:35,019 --> 00:56:36,020
Plus...
1159
00:56:36,354 --> 00:56:38,472
kind of have my eye on someone else.
1160
00:56:39,023 --> 00:56:41,192
Oh, is it that guy you
came by the shelter with?
1161
00:56:41,275 --> 00:56:42,318
-Steve?
-Yes.
1162
00:56:42,944 --> 00:56:44,529
No. He wishes.
1163
00:56:45,071 --> 00:56:46,072
Nah, not him.
1164
00:56:47,198 --> 00:56:48,199
Someone who...
1165
00:56:48,449 --> 00:56:50,743
doesn't really know how I feel about them.
1166
00:56:50,826 --> 00:56:52,826
Then why don't you just go for it?
1167
00:56:55,414 --> 00:56:56,749
-Edna.
-Umm...
1168
00:56:57,792 --> 00:56:58,793
I can't.
1169
00:56:59,377 --> 00:57:00,378
Come on.
1170
00:57:00,628 --> 00:57:02,464
You're a smart, confident woman.
1171
00:57:02,547 --> 00:57:04,048
Any guy would be lucky to date you.
1172
00:57:04,131 --> 00:57:05,800
Touché.
1173
00:57:20,481 --> 00:57:21,482
So I said,
1174
00:57:21,649 --> 00:57:23,297
"How about a little notice."
1175
00:57:23,401 --> 00:57:25,236
-What a concept.
-I know, right?
1176
00:57:30,575 --> 00:57:31,576
Excuse me.
1177
00:57:33,786 --> 00:57:36,080
I noticed you came out
from Lewis, Brown and Anderson.
1178
00:57:36,163 --> 00:57:38,105
-Yeah?
-Do you know Matt Flannery?
1179
00:57:38,249 --> 00:57:39,661
-I work for him.
-You do?
1180
00:57:39,834 --> 00:57:40,835
Yeah, why?
1181
00:57:40,877 --> 00:57:43,407
I met him the other
day and he asked me out.
1182
00:57:45,173 --> 00:57:46,841
-He asked you out?
-Yeah.
1183
00:57:47,049 --> 00:57:49,579
-I don't think so, honey.
-What do you mean?
1184
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,346
-Matt's happily married.
-With three kids.
1185
00:58:00,271 --> 00:58:03,232
How do you know the guy was married?
1186
00:58:03,316 --> 00:58:04,846
I talked to his secretary.
1187
00:58:05,276 --> 00:58:06,360
Damn, you're good.
1188
00:58:06,527 --> 00:58:08,404
Yeah? And Matt's a scumbag.
1189
00:58:09,572 --> 00:58:10,573
Huh.
1190
00:58:10,865 --> 00:58:11,866
What?
1191
00:58:12,033 --> 00:58:13,701
Come on, you gotta give
this guy some props, right?
1192
00:58:13,784 --> 00:58:14,869
It's quite the scam he pulled off.
1193
00:58:14,952 --> 00:58:16,704
I'd like to give him
something, but it ain't props.
1194
00:58:16,787 --> 00:58:18,540
Well, you know what? Old
Eddie would have been impressed.
1195
00:58:18,623 --> 00:58:21,000
Yeah, well, new Eddie would
like to kick old Eddie's ass.
1196
00:58:21,042 --> 00:58:25,219
Yeah? I'd put my money on old Eddie,
cause new Eddie seems a little gay.
1197
00:58:25,505 --> 00:58:26,589
You're an idiot.
1198
00:58:27,715 --> 00:58:28,716
I know.
1199
00:58:33,846 --> 00:58:35,023
This is complicated.
1200
00:58:51,864 --> 00:58:52,865
Oh, Edna!
1201
00:58:52,949 --> 00:58:54,909
Hi, Jess, you made it.
1202
00:58:55,034 --> 00:58:56,387
Thanks for inviting me.
1203
00:58:56,702 --> 00:58:58,704
-And for the backstage pass.
-Sure.
1204
00:58:59,747 --> 00:59:00,865
Did you come alone?
1205
00:59:01,415 --> 00:59:04,836
Yeah, I invited Matt, but he, uhh,
he had to go out of town for work.
1206
00:59:04,919 --> 00:59:06,045
-Really?
-Yeah.
1207
00:59:06,546 --> 00:59:08,423
OK, you're all set. You should
report to the staging area.
1208
00:59:08,506 --> 00:59:09,507
OK, thanks.
1209
00:59:09,757 --> 00:59:12,677
Edna, I have to tell you,
Matt is such a great guy.
1210
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:13,887
After we got done at the shelter
1211
00:59:13,970 --> 00:59:16,472
he took me for a ride on his motorcycle.
1212
00:59:17,223 --> 00:59:19,559
And then, after dinner, we
stopped by his boat for a nightcap.
1213
00:59:19,642 --> 00:59:20,643
He has a boat?
1214
00:59:20,935 --> 00:59:23,188
Well, actually Matt
says it's called a sloop
1215
00:59:23,271 --> 00:59:24,564
because it has three masts.
1216
00:59:24,647 --> 00:59:25,731
Damn, he's good.
1217
00:59:26,274 --> 00:59:27,275
Well, I wouldn't know that.
1218
00:59:27,316 --> 00:59:29,486
I have this rule,
no sex until the third date.
1219
00:59:29,569 --> 00:59:32,113
But, I will say he is a very good kisser.
1220
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:34,491
OK, listen, I need to
tell you something, Jess.
1221
00:59:34,574 --> 00:59:35,575
What is it?
1222
00:59:36,617 --> 00:59:37,912
OK, how do I put this?
1223
00:59:38,119 --> 00:59:39,120
Just say it.
1224
00:59:39,453 --> 00:59:41,080
Matt is, umm...
1225
00:59:41,706 --> 00:59:42,707
Yeah?
1226
00:59:42,832 --> 00:59:43,833
Married.
1227
00:59:44,625 --> 00:59:46,978
-You're wrong.
-I spoke to his secretary.
1228
00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:48,546
Why are you doing this?
1229
00:59:48,629 --> 00:59:49,922
To protect you, Jess.
1230
00:59:50,214 --> 00:59:52,801
You deserve to be with someone
who really cares about you.
1231
00:59:52,884 --> 00:59:54,826
Not someone who's running a scam.
1232
00:59:54,927 --> 00:59:56,179
I knew it! You're a lesbian!
1233
00:59:56,262 --> 00:59:59,015
What? No, I'm not a lesbian.
1234
00:59:59,348 --> 01:00:01,434
I am just a man trapped in a woman's body.
1235
01:00:01,475 --> 01:00:02,476
What?
1236
01:00:03,144 --> 01:00:06,556
Look, I know this is gonna
sound crazy, but the thing is...
1237
01:00:06,731 --> 01:00:08,399
I ran into a homeless woman the other day.
1238
01:00:08,482 --> 01:00:09,953
She asked me to kiss her.
1239
01:00:10,484 --> 01:00:13,488
Said it would prove that I could
see the beauty in all women.
1240
01:00:13,571 --> 01:00:16,282
I refused. The next day
I wake up, I am no longer Eddie.
1241
01:00:16,365 --> 01:00:17,366
I am Edna.
1242
01:00:18,159 --> 01:00:19,452
And so, I need to find her.
1243
01:00:19,493 --> 01:00:20,661
Because all I can figure is,
1244
01:00:20,703 --> 01:00:22,914
you know, she's put
some kind of spell on me.
1245
01:00:22,997 --> 01:00:24,081
And so, once I find her
1246
01:00:24,123 --> 01:00:26,476
she can change me back into being Eddie.
1247
01:00:28,961 --> 01:00:30,338
Come on, say something.
1248
01:00:31,547 --> 01:00:33,606
I don't ever want to see you again.
1249
01:00:34,008 --> 01:00:36,511
-What?
-Don't call me, don't
1250
01:00:36,719 --> 01:00:39,013
text me, don't just stop by and see me!
1251
01:00:39,096 --> 01:00:40,685
You're a sick, sick person!
1252
01:00:41,098 --> 01:00:42,517
Just, leave me alone.
1253
01:00:43,559 --> 01:00:44,644
Jess, come back!
1254
01:01:28,688 --> 01:01:29,689
The thing is,
1255
01:01:29,856 --> 01:01:32,692
ever since the show I haven't
been able to control my emotions.
1256
01:01:32,775 --> 01:01:35,423
Like, someone cuts me
off, I bawl my eyes out.
1257
01:01:36,404 --> 01:01:39,110
Ketchup spills on my
shirt, I bawl my eyes out.
1258
01:01:39,824 --> 01:01:40,867
That's messed up.
1259
01:01:41,659 --> 01:01:46,130
I'd rather be a little bit emotional
than a cold, heartless bastard like you.
1260
01:01:46,539 --> 01:01:47,540
Ouch.
1261
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,041
Oh shit.
1262
01:01:49,292 --> 01:01:50,293
I'm sorry.
1263
01:01:50,710 --> 01:01:51,794
That's all right.
1264
01:01:52,336 --> 01:01:53,866
I was born out of wedlock.
1265
01:01:54,422 --> 01:01:57,258
I mean, I know I've been
hurting over Jess, but this...
1266
01:01:57,341 --> 01:01:59,165
this feels like more than that.
1267
01:01:59,260 --> 01:02:01,437
Hey, maybe it's your female hormones.
1268
01:02:02,346 --> 01:02:03,347
Yeah, maybe.
1269
01:02:03,806 --> 01:02:05,016
Well, hey,
look. It's still early.
1270
01:02:05,099 --> 01:02:07,060
What do you say we
go out, hit a club or something?
1271
01:02:07,143 --> 01:02:08,853
While I'm an emotional wreck?
1272
01:02:09,353 --> 01:02:11,689
How self-centered can you be, Steve?
1273
01:02:12,523 --> 01:02:13,524
I mean... what?
1274
01:02:14,483 --> 01:02:15,484
What?
1275
01:02:16,152 --> 01:02:18,858
You'd think we're
fucking already or something.
1276
01:02:31,709 --> 01:02:33,357
-Shit, I did it again.
-Uhuh.
1277
01:02:34,462 --> 01:02:36,047
I really have a problem.
1278
01:02:36,506 --> 01:02:37,507
Yeah?
1279
01:02:37,590 --> 01:02:38,591
Well...
1280
01:02:38,633 --> 01:02:41,594
My best friend has
turned into a really hot chick
1281
01:02:41,677 --> 01:02:44,639
and every night I've been
having sex dreams about him.
1282
01:02:44,722 --> 01:02:45,973
Her.
1283
01:02:46,807 --> 01:02:49,727
See, you're not the only
one with problems here, pal.
1284
01:02:49,810 --> 01:02:51,281
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
1285
01:02:51,729 --> 01:02:53,773
Yeah, well, I'm not too proud of that one.
1286
01:02:53,856 --> 01:02:54,857
Right.
1287
01:02:56,859 --> 01:02:58,862
Come on, Eddie, let's
just change the subject.
1288
01:02:58,945 --> 01:02:59,946
Yeah.
1289
01:03:00,029 --> 01:03:04,324
Do me a favor, pass me the controls,
maybe there's a game on or something.
1290
01:03:08,829 --> 01:03:10,331
-You know what?
-What?
1291
01:03:11,249 --> 01:03:12,834
-Let's do it.
-Do what?
1292
01:03:13,584 --> 01:03:15,169
Like, let's do it.
1293
01:03:18,381 --> 01:03:20,967
-Are you fucking serious?
-Yes, I'm fucking serious.
1294
01:03:21,050 --> 01:03:24,929
I mean, I should really take my
female equipment out on a test drive.
1295
01:03:25,012 --> 01:03:26,931
And who better to lose my virginity to
1296
01:03:27,014 --> 01:03:29,485
-than my best friend?
-Because I can drive!
1297
01:03:30,059 --> 01:03:32,729
I can drive. And you are
serious. You are serious, right?
1298
01:03:32,812 --> 01:03:35,273
I'm as serious as
pink on a pregnancy test.
1299
01:03:35,356 --> 01:03:36,482
OK, that's great!
1300
01:03:36,858 --> 01:03:38,741
That is great. That is so sweet.
1301
01:03:39,193 --> 01:03:41,404
Don't be fucking with me, cause
if you're fucking with me...
1302
01:03:41,487 --> 01:03:42,899
Mate, I'm being serious.
1303
01:03:43,239 --> 01:03:44,574
I'm gonna go and freshen up.
1304
01:03:44,657 --> 01:03:45,658
Afterward...
1305
01:03:45,992 --> 01:03:46,993
me and you...
1306
01:03:47,243 --> 01:03:48,596
are gonna do the nasty.
1307
01:03:48,744 --> 01:03:49,829
I love the nasty.
1308
01:03:51,330 --> 01:03:52,456
I love the nasty.
1309
01:03:53,332 --> 01:03:55,668
Wait a minute. You
do have a vagina, right?
1310
01:03:55,751 --> 01:03:56,919
-Yes.
-Good.
1311
01:03:57,086 --> 01:03:58,087
Important.
1312
01:03:58,504 --> 01:04:00,548
For the old in and outie.
1313
01:04:13,686 --> 01:04:14,687
OK, umm...
1314
01:04:15,146 --> 01:04:17,323
You, like, make yourself comfortable.
1315
01:04:18,441 --> 01:04:19,559
I'll be right back.
1316
01:04:42,256 --> 01:04:43,257
Ugh.
1317
01:04:51,891 --> 01:04:52,892
What's wrong?
1318
01:04:56,312 --> 01:04:57,313
You OK?
1319
01:05:00,942 --> 01:05:03,194
Oh! What the fuck? What...
1320
01:05:03,402 --> 01:05:05,071
what, what, what did you do?
1321
01:05:05,279 --> 01:05:06,489
I think I'm dying!
1322
01:05:06,531 --> 01:05:08,199
There's so much blood, Eddie!
1323
01:05:08,282 --> 01:05:09,742
Call 911!
1324
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:15,257
Hey. Hey, excuse me.
1325
01:05:15,748 --> 01:05:17,043
Thanks for the tampon.
1326
01:05:27,176 --> 01:05:29,262
-Well, that was embarrassing.
-Yes.
1327
01:05:30,221 --> 01:05:31,222
Yes, it was.
1328
01:05:31,514 --> 01:05:34,225
-Umm... thanks for the...
-No problem.
1329
01:05:34,767 --> 01:05:35,726
No problem.
1330
01:05:36,811 --> 01:05:37,812
OK.
1331
01:05:38,521 --> 01:05:39,522
OK.
1332
01:05:41,274 --> 01:05:42,901
So you know that thing
that we were gonna do...
1333
01:05:42,984 --> 01:05:44,867
Don't worry about that.
Do not...
1334
01:05:45,236 --> 01:05:46,446
worry about that. I am...
1335
01:05:46,529 --> 01:05:49,198
I, I, I will not be having any
more of those kind of dreams.
1336
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:50,241
Right.
1337
01:05:50,324 --> 01:05:52,034
Yeah. I'm, uhh...
1338
01:05:53,578 --> 01:05:54,787
I'm totally cured.
1339
01:05:55,371 --> 01:05:56,372
I get it.
1340
01:05:57,373 --> 01:05:59,542
Yeah, I'll tell you
what, I should get going.
1341
01:05:59,625 --> 01:06:01,544
Got to get back
to the office. I've got to...
1342
01:06:01,627 --> 01:06:02,628
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1343
01:06:04,005 --> 01:06:05,417
I'll, uhh... I'll uhh...
1344
01:06:05,506 --> 01:06:07,466
I'll, I'll talk to you later.
1345
01:06:08,551 --> 01:06:11,257
-See you later, Steve.
-I'm good. I'll see you.
1346
01:06:15,975 --> 01:06:17,852
Oh, wait. Do I have
something on my face?
1347
01:06:17,935 --> 01:06:18,936
I'll see you.
1348
01:06:25,109 --> 01:06:29,051
Look, how many times do I have
to tell you? I don't do full-frontal.
1349
01:06:29,405 --> 01:06:30,994
What? How much does it pay?
1350
01:06:31,699 --> 01:06:32,742
Oh yeah. I'm in.
1351
01:06:33,284 --> 01:06:34,285
Call me back.
1352
01:06:34,577 --> 01:06:35,578
Can I help you?
1353
01:06:35,620 --> 01:06:38,032
Yeah, I'll have a small latte, and uhh...
1354
01:06:38,164 --> 01:06:39,874
let me get whatever the
young lady here would like.
1355
01:06:39,957 --> 01:06:40,958
No thanks.
1356
01:06:41,042 --> 01:06:44,129
I insist. I'm trying to live
my life by paying it forward.
1357
01:06:44,212 --> 01:06:47,382
OK, that's great and all, but I'd
rather just pay for my own drink.
1358
01:06:47,465 --> 01:06:48,466
Come on, babe.
1359
01:06:48,633 --> 01:06:50,135
It would really make my day.
1360
01:06:50,218 --> 01:06:52,277
OK, look, I know what you're doing.
1361
01:06:52,386 --> 01:06:53,975
I used to be just like you.
1362
01:06:54,222 --> 01:06:55,932
So trust me when I say, scamming women
1363
01:06:55,973 --> 01:06:59,144
to get them into bed is a
shallow, meaningless way to live.
1364
01:06:59,227 --> 01:07:00,395
At the end of the day
1365
01:07:00,478 --> 01:07:02,105
it's love that really matters.
1366
01:07:02,188 --> 01:07:03,189
Uhuh.
1367
01:07:03,523 --> 01:07:04,524
You go, girl.
1368
01:07:04,982 --> 01:07:06,859
I'll be damned...
1369
01:07:08,319 --> 01:07:09,320
Dude...
1370
01:07:09,779 --> 01:07:11,250
you just dodged a bullet.
1371
01:07:11,489 --> 01:07:12,960
Chick is hiding a banana.
1372
01:07:14,033 --> 01:07:15,826
She's got, balls.
1373
01:07:42,562 --> 01:07:44,272
-Wow.
-I know, right?
1374
01:07:44,981 --> 01:07:46,775
It's a little different
to your first two books.
1375
01:07:46,858 --> 01:07:48,568
Well, I mean, I'm a little different.
1376
01:07:48,609 --> 01:07:49,610
True.
1377
01:07:50,736 --> 01:07:52,822
-True.
-So, what do you think?
1378
01:07:53,197 --> 01:07:55,727
I don't know, Eddie.
I don't know, I mean...
1379
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:57,660
all this stuff about intimacy
1380
01:07:57,743 --> 01:07:59,245
respect, romance...
1381
01:07:59,453 --> 01:08:03,208
I mean, come on. You really think sex is
better between two people who are in love?
1382
01:08:03,291 --> 01:08:04,542
Yeah. I do.
1383
01:08:06,252 --> 01:08:07,253
Hm.
1384
01:08:08,296 --> 01:08:09,708
Love is the answer, pal.
1385
01:08:13,134 --> 01:08:14,899
Your ass is the answer, Eddie.
1386
01:08:15,178 --> 01:08:16,846
Edna. God, I gotta stop.
1387
01:08:32,195 --> 01:08:33,196
Hey!
1388
01:08:34,322 --> 01:08:36,699
You don't respect elders, do you?
1389
01:08:38,159 --> 01:08:39,160
Fuck off.
1390
01:08:39,243 --> 01:08:40,369
You...
1391
01:09:01,557 --> 01:09:03,226
Yeah.
1392
01:09:05,811 --> 01:09:08,731
Oh! Shit! Shit! Shit!
1393
01:09:09,273 --> 01:09:10,775
Shit!
1394
01:09:11,192 --> 01:09:14,570
Shit! Shit!
1395
01:09:14,904 --> 01:09:17,156
Yeah!
1396
01:09:17,281 --> 01:09:19,116
Fuck, yes!
1397
01:09:19,450 --> 01:09:20,743
Yes! Phone!
1398
01:09:21,035 --> 01:09:22,036
Phone.
1399
01:09:22,662 --> 01:09:23,955
Phone. Come on.
1400
01:09:28,417 --> 01:09:29,585
Steve! It's Eddie.
1401
01:09:29,877 --> 01:09:30,920
Listen to me, it's Eddie.
1402
01:09:30,962 --> 01:09:32,547
I'm back, man. I'm back!
1403
01:09:32,964 --> 01:09:34,173
Fuck yes!
1404
01:09:55,862 --> 01:09:58,451
I think Chapter Seven,
you'll really like it.
1405
01:09:58,573 --> 01:09:59,574
Next.
1406
01:09:59,615 --> 01:10:00,616
All right. Bye.
1407
01:10:02,326 --> 01:10:03,703
-Hello.
-Hi.
1408
01:10:05,246 --> 01:10:07,957
Can I just say, you are the perfect man.
1409
01:10:08,374 --> 01:10:10,794
Well, that's very kind of you, but I am...
1410
01:10:10,877 --> 01:10:12,086
far from perfect.
1411
01:10:12,378 --> 01:10:15,089
I don't know. You
understand and respect women.
1412
01:10:15,756 --> 01:10:17,521
Plus, you're so damn handsome.
1413
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:20,511
That's very kind of you.
Thank you very much.
1414
01:10:21,179 --> 01:10:22,597
I appreciate that. I do.
1415
01:10:23,139 --> 01:10:24,140
Thank you.
1416
01:10:24,599 --> 01:10:25,600
Thank you.
1417
01:10:25,975 --> 01:10:28,152
Thank you.
Steve Burns, I'm his agent.
1418
01:10:28,978 --> 01:10:30,920
-I always introduce myself.
-Next.
1419
01:10:32,398 --> 01:10:33,399
-Hi.
-Hi.
1420
01:10:34,650 --> 01:10:35,651
Right here.
1421
01:10:36,444 --> 01:10:38,529
You really liked it?
That was good.
1422
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:40,490
Here he is. Hey, pal.
1423
01:10:40,573 --> 01:10:41,574
Hey, buddy.
1424
01:10:41,657 --> 01:10:43,868
Hey, listen. We've
got to get going. We've got a...
1425
01:10:43,951 --> 01:10:47,122
dinner reservation tonight to celebrate
our six-month anniversary, actually.
1426
01:10:47,205 --> 01:10:48,873
-Six months already?
-Yeah.
1427
01:10:49,165 --> 01:10:51,042
-Wow, congrats.
-Thank you.
1428
01:10:51,501 --> 01:10:53,586
Are you sure you won't let me
set you up with my roommate?
1429
01:10:53,628 --> 01:10:55,796
Yeah... no, no...
1430
01:10:56,589 --> 01:10:58,472
I really think you'd hit it off.
1431
01:10:59,842 --> 01:11:02,313
I appreciate the offer, but no, thank you.
1432
01:11:02,512 --> 01:11:04,180
All right, if you change
your mind, let us know?
1433
01:11:04,222 --> 01:11:05,389
-Will do.
-OK?
1434
01:11:05,473 --> 01:11:06,808
-Go on.
-If you change your mind.
1435
01:11:06,891 --> 01:11:08,726
-If I change my mind. Have fun.
-See you, pal.
1436
01:11:08,768 --> 01:11:09,769
See ya.
1437
01:11:17,568 --> 01:11:18,528
Eddie.
1438
01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:20,821
Jess.
1439
01:11:22,031 --> 01:11:23,699
-Hi.
-Hi.
1440
01:11:24,951 --> 01:11:26,494
Wow, you look amazing.
1441
01:11:26,786 --> 01:11:28,412
Oh. Thanks.
1442
01:11:30,581 --> 01:11:31,707
So, umm...
1443
01:11:32,583 --> 01:11:33,960
Uhh...
1444
01:11:34,418 --> 01:11:36,087
-Read your book.
-You did?
1445
01:11:36,462 --> 01:11:37,463
Uhuh.
1446
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:39,882
-I really liked it.
-I'm glad.
1447
01:11:41,926 --> 01:11:43,279
You dedicated it to me.
1448
01:11:43,553 --> 01:11:44,554
Yeah.
1449
01:11:44,887 --> 01:11:48,299
Well, you know, you played
a big role in helping me change.
1450
01:11:49,016 --> 01:11:50,476
Yeah. About that.
1451
01:11:51,602 --> 01:11:52,603
So...
1452
01:11:52,812 --> 01:11:54,814
you and Edna...
1453
01:11:54,856 --> 01:11:55,940
One and the same.
1454
01:11:56,983 --> 01:11:57,984
Oh.
1455
01:11:58,234 --> 01:11:59,694
-Wow.
-Crazy, huh?
1456
01:12:00,570 --> 01:12:01,571
Yes...
1457
01:12:02,864 --> 01:12:03,865
and no.
1458
01:12:05,408 --> 01:12:06,997
You know, I've got an idea.
1459
01:12:07,785 --> 01:12:10,080
Why don't we start this thing all over?
1460
01:12:12,623 --> 01:12:13,624
Hello.
1461
01:12:13,708 --> 01:12:14,885
I'm Eddie Greenleaf.
1462
01:12:15,042 --> 01:12:16,544
-Jess White.
-Jess White?
1463
01:12:16,752 --> 01:12:17,753
-Uhuh.
-Wow.
1464
01:12:18,504 --> 01:12:19,975
So are you seeing anyone?
1465
01:12:20,339 --> 01:12:21,340
Uh, no.
1466
01:12:21,757 --> 01:12:24,427
Not since I discovered the last
guy I was dating was married.
1467
01:12:24,510 --> 01:12:26,275
-I'm sorry to hear that.
-Yeah.
1468
01:12:26,554 --> 01:12:29,015
A friend tried to warn
me, but I wouldn't listen.
1469
01:12:29,098 --> 01:12:31,098
In fact, I was really mean to her.
1470
01:12:31,767 --> 01:12:33,826
You know, I think she forgives you.
1471
01:12:36,397 --> 01:12:38,608
So, how about you? Are you...
1472
01:12:39,817 --> 01:12:40,818
seeing anyone?
1473
01:12:40,985 --> 01:12:41,986
Actually...
1474
01:12:42,570 --> 01:12:46,218
I kind of fell in love for the
first time in my life last year.
1475
01:12:47,533 --> 01:12:48,534
You did?
1476
01:12:48,784 --> 01:12:49,785
Yeah.
1477
01:12:49,952 --> 01:12:52,894
The timing, though,
it wasn't right, unfortunately.
1478
01:12:53,998 --> 01:12:54,999
Well...
1479
01:12:55,249 --> 01:12:57,485
maybe you should give it another shot.
1480
01:12:58,002 --> 01:13:00,473
I was just thinking
exactly the same thing.
1481
01:13:02,006 --> 01:13:03,536
So, can I buy you a latte?
1482
01:13:03,674 --> 01:13:04,926
-I'd really like that.
-Yeah?
1483
01:13:05,009 --> 01:13:07,009
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here then.
1484
01:13:33,287 --> 01:13:34,288
Mark.
1485
01:13:35,581 --> 01:13:36,833
-You had the book signing.
-Uhuh.
1486
01:13:36,916 --> 01:13:37,975
The release party.
1487
01:13:38,125 --> 01:13:41,361
Sex with a homeless model...
-Oh fuck, a homeless model.
1488
01:13:47,969 --> 01:13:49,512
I love the homeless kind of look.
1489
01:13:49,595 --> 01:13:50,596
It's just, you know...
1490
01:13:50,638 --> 01:13:51,722
The book signing.
1491
01:13:51,973 --> 01:13:53,933
Sex with a homeless-Oh for fuck's sake!
1492
01:13:54,016 --> 01:13:55,560
That homeless woman's in my head.
1493
01:13:55,643 --> 01:13:56,936
Buddy, let me tell you something.
1494
01:13:56,978 --> 01:13:58,437
I'm, I'm starving, ok.
1495
01:13:58,813 --> 01:14:00,813
This may be harder than I thought.
1496
01:14:01,858 --> 01:14:03,985
OK, we might have to go back to.
1497
01:14:06,279 --> 01:14:07,280
Knock, knock!
1498
01:14:16,038 --> 01:14:18,082
This is where you find your beaver buzzers
1499
01:14:18,165 --> 01:14:21,989
magic wands, pussy punchers,
hamburger helpers and wacky wobblers.
1500
01:14:22,128 --> 01:14:24,255
Personally, I like the butterfly.
1501
01:14:25,548 --> 01:14:26,549
Fuck.
1502
01:14:48,821 --> 01:14:49,948
-Well?
-This stuff is good.
1503
01:14:50,031 --> 01:14:51,324
-Not bad, right?
-Yeah, what is it?
1504
01:14:51,407 --> 01:14:52,909
Bocelios.
-Hmm.
1505
01:14:53,326 --> 01:14:54,327
Dos celios.
1506
01:14:54,368 --> 01:14:55,787
This stuff's good. What is it?
1507
01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:57,163
Dos selios.
1508
01:14:58,664 --> 01:14:59,957
This stuff is good.
1509
01:15:00,082 --> 01:15:01,083
What is it?
1510
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:12,011
The thing is...
1511
01:15:13,304 --> 01:15:14,639
Oh. For fuck's sake.
1512
01:15:14,931 --> 01:15:16,474
Yes, I'm fucking serious.
1513
01:15:16,682 --> 01:15:19,853
I mean, I really should take
my female equipment out with...
1514
01:15:19,936 --> 01:15:21,270
What am I doing?
1515
01:15:23,105 --> 01:15:24,576
Hey, hey. Hey, excuse me.
1516
01:15:24,774 --> 01:15:27,304
Thanks for the cond...
Not the condom, fuck.
1517
01:15:37,203 --> 01:15:38,204
Come on.
1518
01:15:40,164 --> 01:15:41,165
OK.
1519
01:15:42,375 --> 01:15:43,376
Eddie!
1520
01:15:43,751 --> 01:15:45,336
No, I'm fucking Eddie. Fuck!
1521
01:15:45,378 --> 01:15:46,379
Back.
1522
01:15:47,964 --> 01:15:50,141
Make yourself comfortable and I'll...
1523
01:15:51,342 --> 01:15:52,343
be right back.
1524
01:15:56,180 --> 01:15:57,640
Yes!
1525
01:16:04,397 --> 01:16:06,191
She must have put a spell on me.
1526
01:16:06,274 --> 01:16:08,485
That's the only thing that makes sense.
1527
01:16:08,568 --> 01:16:09,986
OK. So...
1528
01:16:10,528 --> 01:16:12,293
we're looking for this magical
1529
01:16:12,780 --> 01:16:14,783
mystery kind of homeless woman, right?
1530
01:16:14,866 --> 01:16:16,749
I mean, I don't
know. I guess so.
1531
01:16:17,702 --> 01:16:18,703
OK.
1532
01:16:19,579 --> 01:16:20,789
Maybe she was a witch.
1533
01:16:20,872 --> 01:16:22,457
-A witch.
-All right, did you see it yet?
1534
01:16:22,540 --> 01:16:23,776
Because the gig's up.
1535
01:16:25,126 --> 01:16:26,597
Can I ask you a question?
1536
01:16:37,638 --> 01:16:38,639
I'm so sorry.
1537
01:16:41,851 --> 01:16:42,852
Not in.
1538
01:16:45,813 --> 01:16:46,814
Uhuh.
104713
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