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1
00:02:04,788 --> 00:02:05,892
Please sir!
2
00:02:05,927 --> 00:02:07,653
For pity's sake,
she's our only child!
3
00:02:07,687 --> 00:02:08,723
Have mercy!
4
00:02:08,757 --> 00:02:11,760
There is no mercy
for the undead.
5
00:02:26,292 --> 00:02:28,570
Honey, are you ok?
6
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:34,231
Yeah.
Just a bad dream.
7
00:02:34,266 --> 00:02:36,992
Sounds like a real doozy.
You want to talk about it?
8
00:02:38,649 --> 00:02:40,755
No, I'll be fine.
9
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,279
I'm gonna go check on Anastasia.
10
00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:49,488
- Yeah.
- Okay.
11
00:03:02,673 --> 00:03:06,021
Ok.
12
00:03:12,614 --> 00:03:14,823
Anna-banana?
It's still daylight.
13
00:03:15,755 --> 00:03:17,619
Put your phone away
and get some shut eye.
14
00:03:17,654 --> 00:03:19,034
You've got a busy night ahead.
15
00:03:19,069 --> 00:03:20,312
Yes, Daddy.
16
00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:30,045
Phone off. That's twice
you're busted.
17
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:01,387
Shit.
Blood suckers.
18
00:04:07,566 --> 00:04:09,844
Better watch it you don't end up
19
00:04:09,878 --> 00:04:12,053
staking yourself in
the heart there, Count.
20
00:04:12,087 --> 00:04:14,711
I'm not a Count.
Chuck Belasko.
21
00:04:15,539 --> 00:04:16,851
Doug Roach.
22
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,648
Vampire Americans, am I right?
23
00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:22,684
Yeah, you betcha.
How'd you guess?
24
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:24,859
You're shitting me, right?
25
00:04:24,893 --> 00:04:30,382
I mean, you got the map of
Transylvania plastered
all over your faces.
26
00:04:30,727 --> 00:04:33,143
If you wouldn't mind cooling it
on the yard work?
27
00:04:33,177 --> 00:04:36,871
Yeah, sorry, I guess
I lost track of time.
28
00:04:38,182 --> 00:04:40,806
Didn't lose track so much as
you were following the rules.
29
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:44,775
Like the one that says your kind
sleep in coffins during the day.
30
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,157
During the sunlight hours,
that's correct.
31
00:04:47,191 --> 00:04:49,918
Because if the sunlight hits ya,
you melt.
32
00:04:49,952 --> 00:04:52,887
Decompose into a miasma
putrid decay.
33
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:53,853
Also correct.
34
00:04:53,888 --> 00:04:56,166
My wife lost her favorite
uncle that way.
35
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,825
Made a slight miscalculation
during daylight savings and
36
00:04:59,859 --> 00:05:01,067
I don't give a shit.
37
00:05:01,102 --> 00:05:04,485
Yeah. Speaking of the
missus, this is my wife, Helena.
38
00:05:06,728 --> 00:05:07,695
Countess?
39
00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:08,523
Professor.
40
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,811
Helena and I teach
night classes.
41
00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:10,905
At Horlicks.
42
00:05:10,939 --> 00:05:12,979
- Yeah, department of...
- Zoology.
43
00:05:18,499 --> 00:05:21,847
Yes, this is our own little
ray of moonlight, Anastasia.
44
00:05:22,503 --> 00:05:23,780
Goes by Anna.
Anna-banana.
45
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,127
Alex...
46
00:05:30,856 --> 00:05:31,995
Mind your own.
47
00:05:32,616 --> 00:05:33,652
Alright, well it was...
48
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:57,158
Well, chin up.
49
00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,764
He'll come around
once he gets to know us.
50
00:05:59,919 --> 00:06:02,543
After all, we're the Belaskos.
51
00:06:02,577 --> 00:06:03,578
- Yes, we are.
- Mmmhmm.
52
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,511
Bring it in for a family cheer.
A little pound.
53
00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:07,444
- Bring it in.
- Yes.
54
00:06:07,479 --> 00:06:08,687
- Ok.
- Here it comes.
55
00:06:30,087 --> 00:06:31,088
Here we go.
56
00:06:32,607 --> 00:06:35,023
Look who is up.
57
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,888
Good evening, sleepy head.
58
00:06:53,317 --> 00:06:59,254
So, there is a 24-hour gym
less than a mile from here.
59
00:06:59,289 --> 00:07:01,981
I was wondering if it would be
alright if I joined?
60
00:07:02,016 --> 00:07:04,190
I can pay for it myself
with my babysitting stash.
61
00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:05,226
Not yet.
62
00:07:05,744 --> 00:07:07,297
We don't want you venturing off
63
00:07:07,331 --> 00:07:09,817
until we get a proper feel
for the neighborhood.
64
00:07:10,162 --> 00:07:11,657
Then what am I supposed
to do all night
65
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,727
while you guys are at work?
66
00:07:12,751 --> 00:07:14,235
Well you've got
your lesson plans.
67
00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:16,731
Not to mention that phone that
you've got grafted to your hand.
68
00:07:16,755 --> 00:07:19,240
You guys swore that Mapleton
would be different.
69
00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:20,206
It is different.
70
00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:22,623
This is a fully integrated
neighborhood.
71
00:07:22,657 --> 00:07:26,109
So was the last one.
I fucking hate being undead.
72
00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:27,973
That is a little
dramatic.
73
00:07:28,007 --> 00:07:29,112
And it'll cost you a buck.
74
00:07:29,146 --> 00:07:31,977
That's one diddly-dollar
in the cuss jar, young lady.
75
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,985
Where do you think
you're going?
76
00:07:41,089 --> 00:07:44,714
Take a wild guess.
Fucking nowhere.
77
00:07:47,026 --> 00:07:49,581
My. Someone slept on the wrong
side of the coffin.
78
00:09:08,867 --> 00:09:09,867
Shit!
79
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,955
My god, my god!
Don't fucking kill me!
80
00:09:27,989 --> 00:09:28,749
I fucking won't!
81
00:09:28,783 --> 00:09:30,958
Jesus, dude!
Take a chill pill.
82
00:09:31,717 --> 00:09:33,685
What are you even doing
over here?
83
00:09:33,719 --> 00:09:35,721
Well, I saw you up
on the roof...
84
00:09:35,756 --> 00:09:37,723
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I heard you.
85
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:38,862
You did?
86
00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:42,210
Yeah. I hear everything,
whether I want to or not.
87
00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:45,662
You're like a goddamn
super hero.
88
00:09:45,697 --> 00:09:48,976
Nope, just a girl.
Anna.
89
00:09:50,218 --> 00:09:51,254
I'm Alex.
90
00:09:53,118 --> 00:09:54,637
Do you mind?
91
00:09:54,982 --> 00:09:56,328
Yeah. Here.
92
00:09:57,087 --> 00:09:58,088
Thanks.
93
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:02,230
It's, nice to see
a friendly face, for once.
94
00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:06,200
Yeah. But it's not gonna be
the last once school starts up.
95
00:10:06,234 --> 00:10:08,443
It won't for me.
I'm home-schooled.
96
00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:10,791
Because of the whole
sunlight thing.
97
00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:13,448
I'm a night owl myself.
98
00:10:13,483 --> 00:10:15,968
I could give you a midnight tour
of the neighborhood
99
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:17,245
if you're up for it.
100
00:10:18,177 --> 00:10:19,731
Wouldn't your father disapprove?
101
00:10:19,765 --> 00:10:20,765
One hundred percent.
102
00:10:21,215 --> 00:10:22,941
- What about yours?
- One hundred percent.
103
00:10:30,258 --> 00:10:33,296
So, I'm not totally clear
on the rules.
104
00:10:33,814 --> 00:10:35,263
Are you aloud to have ice cream?
105
00:10:36,264 --> 00:10:38,232
Yeah. Yeah, when
I'm in the mood for it.
106
00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:39,266
That's good.
107
00:10:40,372 --> 00:10:44,445
Well, Molly's floats
are to die for.
108
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,517
Fuck! Shit!
I'm not trying to say...
109
00:10:47,551 --> 00:10:50,037
No, it's okay, Alex.
I know what you mean.
110
00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:52,108
And it's no worries, you know?
111
00:10:52,142 --> 00:10:55,870
A Belasko hasn't drank
human blood in over a century.
112
00:10:55,905 --> 00:11:00,219
Not to mention that it's illegal
and totally disgusting.
113
00:11:00,254 --> 00:11:01,462
Good to know.
114
00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:06,709
They're open late on Saturdays,
so maybe we could go after dark?
115
00:11:08,952 --> 00:11:10,989
Yeah. Maybe not.
116
00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:16,511
Small town peeps can be
a little dickish.
117
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:19,825
Yeah. Big town peeps can too.
118
00:11:22,863 --> 00:11:25,072
I swear, I just want
to fly away.
119
00:11:25,106 --> 00:11:26,901
Run away where they'll
never find me.
120
00:11:27,902 --> 00:11:29,421
Yeah, take me with you.
121
00:11:30,353 --> 00:11:31,354
Deal.
122
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:44,885
So, this is the last stop
on the tour.
123
00:11:44,919 --> 00:11:47,750
Mapleton's version
of Disneyland.
124
00:11:48,923 --> 00:11:51,788
I'm about it.
Yeah, I like it.
125
00:11:51,823 --> 00:11:54,480
My mom, she used
to take me here.
126
00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:57,863
Yeah, I lost her
when I was seven, but...
127
00:11:58,243 --> 00:11:59,900
Alex.
I'm so sorry.
128
00:12:00,624 --> 00:12:01,867
How?
129
00:12:02,281 --> 00:12:03,904
She had a back ticker.
130
00:12:05,595 --> 00:12:08,563
You, you're lucky that you
never have to lose a parent.
131
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:11,428
Alex, that's a myth.
132
00:12:12,222 --> 00:12:15,053
We die too, it just takes us
a little bit longer.
133
00:12:32,415 --> 00:12:33,416
No, don't!
134
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,177
Please don't.
135
00:12:36,212 --> 00:12:38,317
I don't really come out
in pictures, it's...
136
00:12:38,352 --> 00:12:40,803
That's that's tragic.
137
00:12:41,907 --> 00:12:43,909
I'll tell you what.
I'll be your mirror.
138
00:12:45,393 --> 00:12:46,360
Yeah?
139
00:12:46,394 --> 00:12:47,394
Yeah.
140
00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:50,122
Ok. How do I look?
141
00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:56,819
Well you look scalding.
142
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:01,513
You up for a free ride?
143
00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:03,445
Yeah.
144
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,380
Hold on, it goes really
extremely fast.
145
00:13:06,414 --> 00:13:07,622
Okay.
146
00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:16,079
Well, I kind of feel like
a wimp now.
147
00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:18,357
Hold onto your vagina.
I got this.
148
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:20,912
- Hop on.
- Ok, alright.
149
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:24,398
Yeah.
150
00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:11,169
What's with Anna-banana?
151
00:14:11,203 --> 00:14:12,687
She's been skipping
breakfast lately.
152
00:14:14,034 --> 00:14:15,000
She watching her waist?
153
00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:16,450
More like the boy next door.
154
00:14:17,175 --> 00:14:18,141
The roach kid?
155
00:14:18,176 --> 00:14:20,661
Mmhmm.
That scares me.
156
00:14:22,283 --> 00:14:24,044
What's so scary about love?
157
00:14:28,255 --> 00:14:29,912
It's not love that
I'm afraid of.
158
00:14:31,603 --> 00:14:33,087
They're never gonna accept us,
Chuck.
159
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,951
No matter how hard
we try to fit in.
160
00:14:35,262 --> 00:14:37,022
Hate is thicker than blood.
161
00:14:43,063 --> 00:14:44,409
I might need to do it.
162
00:14:44,443 --> 00:14:46,687
Woah, I think we just did.
163
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:49,448
No, not that.
164
00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:53,211
I mean, the gift you know?
165
00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:55,972
I wanna... I wanna become
like you.
166
00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:57,422
You think it's a gift?
167
00:14:59,079 --> 00:15:00,390
To never see a sunrise?
168
00:15:00,425 --> 00:15:02,392
To be hunted and persecuted
wherever you go?
169
00:15:07,777 --> 00:15:10,228
If that's what it takes
to be yours, then yeah.
170
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,299
You're already mine, dummy.
171
00:15:13,817 --> 00:15:16,199
We're just on different
time zones.
172
00:15:20,755 --> 00:15:23,103
You know that thing
that you were saying about,
173
00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:26,244
like, running away?
174
00:15:27,348 --> 00:15:28,522
Were you serious?
175
00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:30,041
It's all I ever think about.
176
00:15:33,354 --> 00:15:35,149
Where would you go?
177
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,288
Alaska.
178
00:15:36,599 --> 00:15:38,187
Why? What's in Alaska?
179
00:15:39,636 --> 00:15:41,673
Six months of continuous night.
180
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:44,745
So there.
181
00:15:46,298 --> 00:15:48,507
And what would we do
for the other six months?
182
00:15:49,439 --> 00:15:52,063
We could hibernate.
Five times a day.
183
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,224
Dude, what the fuck?
What are you doing?
184
00:16:15,258 --> 00:16:17,191
Checking for hickies, stupid.
What do you think?
185
00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:19,228
Still got your junk down there
186
00:16:19,262 --> 00:16:20,722
or did your girlfriend
bite it off?
187
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:21,644
Sick.
188
00:16:21,678 --> 00:16:23,335
Me?
189
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:26,821
I'm not the one playing hide the
salami with a walking corpse.
190
00:16:26,856 --> 00:16:30,687
Alex, son, you have no idea
what you are dealing with.
191
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,758
Like you do?
192
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:36,314
Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
193
00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:38,588
You know, I never told you
how your mother actually died.
194
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:49,741
Ten years ago, she was attacked
by one of those things.
195
00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:54,504
All the blood drained
from her body.
196
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,201
But the nightmare didn't end
there, no sir.
197
00:17:02,616 --> 00:17:04,065
It was just the beginning.
198
00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:12,522
The night of her funeral,
your mother came home.
199
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:18,458
Little boy, let me in.
Mommy's so cold.
200
00:17:19,598 --> 00:17:21,290
You know, I still see her
wearing the dress
201
00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:23,361
that we buried her in?
202
00:17:24,534 --> 00:17:28,607
She came for you, Alex.
Her only child.
203
00:17:30,437 --> 00:17:31,541
So...
204
00:17:33,888 --> 00:17:36,581
I did what any man would do
205
00:17:36,615 --> 00:17:39,377
and I drove a stake
through that thing's heart.
206
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:40,274
You killed my mother?
207
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,173
I released her!
208
00:17:48,179 --> 00:17:49,352
Open it.
209
00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:57,888
What am I supposed to do
with this?
210
00:17:57,912 --> 00:17:59,155
I think you know.
211
00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:03,470
You would be doing that girl
a favor.
212
00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:05,782
She does not want to be
the way she is.
213
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,439
It is unnatural.
214
00:18:08,406 --> 00:18:10,925
There is no mercy
for the undead.
215
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:15,723
Destroy her, son, or someone
else will do it for you.
216
00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:18,692
I'm not your fucking son.
217
00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:30,392
Doug Roach here.
218
00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:33,810
You up for a little
hunting excursion?
219
00:18:35,502 --> 00:18:38,781
Yeah, getting
the band back together.
220
00:18:39,747 --> 00:18:41,818
Just like old times.
221
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,373
What are we gunning for?
222
00:18:45,995 --> 00:18:49,585
Leaches.
And they're looking to breed.
223
00:19:05,808 --> 00:19:07,189
Hello, darling.
224
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,412
Anna!
225
00:19:25,310 --> 00:19:26,415
Anna!
226
00:19:31,696 --> 00:19:32,696
Fuck!
227
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:36,666
Make some noise when you
do that, please.
228
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,392
Boo. What is going on?
229
00:19:39,773 --> 00:19:42,638
It's my old man.
Bad shit is about to go down.
230
00:19:42,672 --> 00:19:45,710
We need to go now.
Tonight, like now.
231
00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:46,918
Alex, that's crazy.
232
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,644
I can't just leave,
what about my parents?
233
00:19:48,678 --> 00:19:49,921
Don't worry.
234
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:53,476
We'll be visiting them
soon enough.
235
00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:54,650
How did you find us?
236
00:19:54,684 --> 00:19:56,824
There's a tracker
on your phone, stupid.
237
00:19:58,688 --> 00:19:59,965
Hey, get that out of her face
238
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,440
or I'll stick it up
your fucking ass!
239
00:20:01,588 --> 00:20:02,313
Alex!
240
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:03,831
No!
241
00:20:03,866 --> 00:20:04,866
Alex!
242
00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:07,456
Now look what you did.
243
00:20:08,526 --> 00:20:10,631
Please, it doesn't have
to be this way.
244
00:20:11,114 --> 00:20:12,495
You can just let us be.
245
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:15,084
Let you be? Why?
246
00:20:15,118 --> 00:20:17,535
So your kind can pollute
the world?
247
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:21,021
Not on my watch, sweetie.
248
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:24,990
We didn't start this war but
we sure as shit gonna end it.
249
00:20:27,855 --> 00:20:28,856
Hold still.
250
00:20:30,548 --> 00:20:31,618
I'll make this fast.
251
00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:39,833
She can't be far, spread out.
Spread out.
252
00:20:50,395 --> 00:20:51,810
You're all gonna die tonight.
253
00:21:10,726 --> 00:21:12,452
Don't worry, I'll make
this fast.
254
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:26,362
God, Alex.
255
00:21:27,743 --> 00:21:29,469
You're like a goddamn
super hero.
256
00:21:29,745 --> 00:21:30,539
Alex, your heart.
257
00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:31,263
We have to get you
to a hospital.
258
00:21:31,298 --> 00:21:32,920
I don't think I can look.
259
00:21:34,474 --> 00:21:35,830
The sun's coming up,
you have to go.
260
00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:37,028
Shh, stop, stop, stop.
261
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:38,143
- No please, you have to go.
- Don't talk.
262
00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:39,064
You'll die if I go.
263
00:21:39,099 --> 00:21:40,549
You're gonna die if you stay.
264
00:21:45,174 --> 00:21:46,174
Hey.
265
00:22:03,606 --> 00:22:05,505
It's even more beautiful
than I imagined.
266
00:22:18,241 --> 00:22:21,003
Please, please save him!
267
00:22:33,049 --> 00:22:34,913
Alaska, okay?
268
00:22:37,571 --> 00:22:38,676
I'm so there.
269
00:23:07,946 --> 00:23:08,946
Hello?
270
00:23:10,259 --> 00:23:11,571
What the hell is this?
271
00:23:14,815 --> 00:23:15,954
I can't move my...
272
00:23:17,231 --> 00:23:19,624
Somebody better tell me what
the hell's going on around here,
273
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:20,821
and fast!
274
00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:25,757
Look who's up.
275
00:23:27,276 --> 00:23:30,106
Chuck, Helena.
276
00:23:30,141 --> 00:23:32,108
I don't know what you think
you're doing
277
00:23:32,143 --> 00:23:34,145
but you have about two seconds
278
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:37,804
to undo these chains
or I swear to god,
279
00:23:37,838 --> 00:23:40,220
I will sue your asses
back to Transylvania.
280
00:23:42,084 --> 00:23:44,120
We're not from Transylvania,
Doug.
281
00:23:44,604 --> 00:23:46,468
We're from Pennsylvania.
282
00:23:46,916 --> 00:23:47,917
Who...
283
00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:53,578
No, no, no, no.
284
00:23:54,027 --> 00:23:55,994
You gotta be shitting me!
285
00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:58,859
Shoot.
It's another blood sucker.
286
00:23:58,894 --> 00:24:00,482
There goes the neighborhood.
287
00:24:04,934 --> 00:24:06,488
Son... Alex.
288
00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,939
Undo these chains...
Please.
289
00:24:11,631 --> 00:24:12,666
And infect our town?
290
00:24:15,117 --> 00:24:17,050
No, no, no, no.
Not that.
291
00:24:17,982 --> 00:24:19,155
Show a little mercy.
292
00:24:20,950 --> 00:24:22,538
There is no mercy
for the undead.
293
00:24:22,814 --> 00:24:26,093
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no!!!
294
00:25:54,216 --> 00:25:55,296
Damn, why don't you leave
some drops for the rest of us?
295
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,770
We got more coming, let's move.
296
00:25:57,771 --> 00:25:58,945
Nice!
297
00:26:01,292 --> 00:26:01,982
Dave, Dave, Dave...
298
00:26:02,017 --> 00:26:04,019
Hey, hey, hey!
Check this out.
299
00:26:04,053 --> 00:26:05,053
Shit.
300
00:26:06,849 --> 00:26:09,645
Sorry guys, my dad just came in
and totally broke my focus.
301
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:10,163
Hold on a sec.
302
00:26:10,197 --> 00:26:11,716
Behold.
303
00:26:11,751 --> 00:26:13,631
Sorry guys, I'll catch y'all
at school tomorrow.
304
00:26:17,791 --> 00:26:18,791
Nice relic.
305
00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:21,553
Woah, is this you?
306
00:26:21,588 --> 00:26:24,384
Hey, your old man had the
highest score in the southwest.
307
00:26:24,418 --> 00:26:26,455
I'd have won the national
championship
308
00:26:26,489 --> 00:26:28,146
if they hadn't have canceled it.
309
00:26:28,181 --> 00:26:30,228
And for some reason they pulled
all the copies of the game
310
00:26:30,252 --> 00:26:32,668
off the shelves and buried them
in the desert
311
00:26:32,703 --> 00:26:34,946
and didn't tell anyone why.
312
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,813
Weird Wednesday.
Sounds dumb.
313
00:26:41,159 --> 00:26:43,127
Wait, Dad.
Dad what are you doing?
314
00:26:43,817 --> 00:26:45,370
You are gonna love it.
315
00:26:45,888 --> 00:26:49,202
This game requires laser focus
and iron will.
316
00:26:49,236 --> 00:26:51,963
It's a game that's not balanced
and not fair.
317
00:26:51,998 --> 00:26:55,070
Brutal in its simplicity.
318
00:26:55,484 --> 00:26:56,875
There's no way some old
8-bit clunker
319
00:26:56,899 --> 00:26:59,074
is gonna be harder
than Sentinel Strike.
320
00:26:59,350 --> 00:27:01,145
Ok, well you just watch.
321
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,390
So, what do you do?
322
00:27:05,425 --> 00:27:07,013
You just gotta get across town.
323
00:27:07,047 --> 00:27:08,117
That sounds terrible.
324
00:27:08,152 --> 00:27:10,395
No, no, no.
That's the beauty of it.
325
00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:11,362
Simplicity.
326
00:27:11,396 --> 00:27:14,227
You never know what is going
to kill you.
327
00:27:14,261 --> 00:27:16,332
The newspaper, the raccoon
in the trash,
328
00:27:16,367 --> 00:27:17,506
the toaster oven.
329
00:27:17,540 --> 00:27:19,266
It could even be the lamp.
330
00:27:19,301 --> 00:27:21,786
I mean, you have no idea
what is deadly.
331
00:27:22,304 --> 00:27:23,788
So how do you win?
332
00:27:23,823 --> 00:27:25,169
I don't know.
333
00:27:25,203 --> 00:27:29,069
I mean, no player's ever reached
the final level before.
334
00:27:29,104 --> 00:27:31,244
The competition was always
high score.
335
00:27:31,554 --> 00:27:32,832
Ok.
336
00:27:32,866 --> 00:27:36,111
Now, just like riding a bike.
337
00:27:43,532 --> 00:27:45,499
Ok, ok, you laugh,
but it's been 30 years
338
00:27:45,534 --> 00:27:48,088
since I played this game,
remember?
339
00:27:48,123 --> 00:27:49,227
It's all coming back to me,
340
00:27:49,262 --> 00:27:51,333
I just need to sharpen up
a little.
341
00:27:51,954 --> 00:27:53,922
Come on, let me try.
342
00:28:06,348 --> 00:28:08,730
Shit, this is hard.
343
00:28:09,213 --> 00:28:10,386
Yeah, I told you.
344
00:28:18,325 --> 00:28:19,464
Dang.
345
00:28:21,225 --> 00:28:23,089
What does JEF spell?
346
00:28:24,193 --> 00:28:26,353
Well, savor it while it lasts,
it's gonna be mine soon.
347
00:28:28,197 --> 00:28:28,957
Did you see it?
348
00:28:28,991 --> 00:28:30,130
No, what was on it?
349
00:28:30,165 --> 00:28:32,005
It was like this weird little
drawing of the teacher.
350
00:28:32,029 --> 00:28:34,376
Hey! You guys gotta try
this old game.
351
00:28:34,410 --> 00:28:36,067
What game?
Is it any good?
352
00:28:36,102 --> 00:28:37,103
No, it's the worst.
353
00:28:37,137 --> 00:28:38,218
You're just this little
8-bit dude
354
00:28:38,242 --> 00:28:39,598
and you have to dodge
flying toasters and stuff
355
00:28:39,622 --> 00:28:41,417
but it's insanely hard.
356
00:28:41,452 --> 00:28:42,902
Have you beat it yet?
357
00:28:42,936 --> 00:28:44,110
It's impossible.
358
00:28:44,144 --> 00:28:45,294
No one's ever made it
to the final level.
359
00:28:45,318 --> 00:28:48,183
Wait, I thought you said no game
is impossible to beat?
360
00:28:48,217 --> 00:28:49,425
Bet I can beat it first.
361
00:28:49,460 --> 00:28:50,875
So competitive, Reina.
362
00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:52,301
You know, that's why I broke up
with you, right?
363
00:28:52,325 --> 00:28:54,879
You broke up with me?
I don't remember that.
364
00:28:54,914 --> 00:28:56,985
I remember you crying, a lot.
365
00:28:57,019 --> 00:28:57,882
Yeah.
366
00:28:57,917 --> 00:29:00,229
And the flowers.
And the love song.
367
00:29:00,264 --> 00:29:01,817
Look out for the shovel!
368
00:29:01,852 --> 00:29:03,370
I got it, I got it!
369
00:29:05,856 --> 00:29:07,443
You're doing great.
370
00:29:08,237 --> 00:29:09,135
Savor it while it lasts, Dad,
371
00:29:09,169 --> 00:29:11,137
that high score is gonna be
mine soon.
372
00:29:11,171 --> 00:29:14,243
No one can defeat me!
373
00:29:14,278 --> 00:29:15,072
It's on.
374
00:29:15,106 --> 00:29:16,418
On like Donkey Kong.
375
00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:20,020
That's the delivery guy,
I'll get it.
376
00:29:23,114 --> 00:29:24,598
- Hey, Spencer.
- What's up?
377
00:29:24,633 --> 00:29:27,084
Reina, it's good to see you.
Dave's down in the basement.
378
00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:31,053
Hey, Mr. D.
How're you holding up?
379
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:33,660
You know.
Taking it one day at a time.
380
00:29:36,127 --> 00:29:39,337
So, tell me honestly.
How's Dave doing?
381
00:29:40,511 --> 00:29:42,133
You should ask him
that yourself.
382
00:29:42,962 --> 00:29:45,827
I would, but he doesn't
exactly talk to me.
383
00:29:47,242 --> 00:29:49,347
Maybe just give him some time.
384
00:29:50,383 --> 00:29:51,383
Yeah.
385
00:29:52,419 --> 00:29:54,456
Look, I'm really glad
that you guys stayed friends.
386
00:29:54,490 --> 00:29:56,044
Yeah, me too.
387
00:30:09,367 --> 00:30:10,472
Hey, what's up Reina?
388
00:30:10,990 --> 00:30:12,381
I can't wait for you guys
to play this.
389
00:30:12,405 --> 00:30:13,164
It's ridiculous.
390
00:30:15,718 --> 00:30:17,099
Aw!
391
00:30:17,134 --> 00:30:19,170
Death by mailbox. Brutal.
392
00:30:19,205 --> 00:30:20,206
Hey, good try.
393
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,416
I know a little trick
to get past that level.
394
00:30:23,450 --> 00:30:25,590
It's ok.
You can, just show me later.
395
00:30:27,523 --> 00:30:30,595
Ok, um, I'll be just upstairs.
396
00:30:31,286 --> 00:30:32,943
Ok.
Bye, Dad.
397
00:30:33,391 --> 00:30:34,565
How do you beat that?
398
00:30:35,014 --> 00:30:36,360
You'll get the hang of it.
Here.
399
00:30:57,415 --> 00:31:00,971
Yes! My god. Yes!
400
00:31:01,005 --> 00:31:01,592
Are you ok?
401
00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:03,111
Boom!
In your face!
402
00:31:03,145 --> 00:31:04,664
I won. I won.
403
00:31:06,079 --> 00:31:07,563
You just beat the final boss?
404
00:31:07,598 --> 00:31:10,221
No, I beat you, Dad.
I beat you.
405
00:31:11,982 --> 00:31:14,294
Woah, ok, woah, woah.
406
00:31:14,329 --> 00:31:17,677
Son, you didn't win, you just
got the highest score.
407
00:31:17,711 --> 00:31:19,541
But we still need to beat it.
408
00:31:21,508 --> 00:31:23,407
Dad, it's impossible.
409
00:31:23,441 --> 00:31:24,995
It literally says on the game,
410
00:31:25,029 --> 00:31:26,410
"Never beaten by
a single player."
411
00:31:26,686 --> 00:31:27,721
It's like a feature.
412
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:29,447
Yeah, well not yet.
413
00:31:29,654 --> 00:31:31,587
This game has met its match
414
00:31:31,622 --> 00:31:34,452
with this awesome
father/son duo?
415
00:31:36,282 --> 00:31:38,560
Um, I think I'm gonna head
to bed.
416
00:31:47,603 --> 00:31:48,603
Check this out.
417
00:31:49,605 --> 00:31:51,480
I got a console and a copy
of the game off eBay.
418
00:31:51,504 --> 00:31:54,748
Seller listed it crazy cheap.
And it was cursed or something.
419
00:31:55,439 --> 00:31:56,750
Like, the game murdered
her kids.
420
00:31:57,544 --> 00:31:59,063
- Okay.
- So many whack-jobs on there.
421
00:31:59,512 --> 00:32:01,134
And look, it came
with a cheat code.
422
00:32:01,617 --> 00:32:03,457
Come on. You know cheater
wins don't count.
423
00:32:03,481 --> 00:32:06,001
- Yeah, straight facts.
- Whatever. My gosh.
424
00:32:12,283 --> 00:32:14,113
What's up?
425
00:32:14,699 --> 00:32:16,011
Nothing, just my dad.
426
00:32:16,356 --> 00:32:18,151
Aren't you going to respond?
427
00:32:19,325 --> 00:32:21,396
Cold!
428
00:32:24,537 --> 00:32:27,057
You know, your dad's pretty
cool, for a dad.
429
00:32:27,367 --> 00:32:30,094
He's not cool.
He's nice.
430
00:32:31,095 --> 00:32:32,683
Still cuts the crusts off
my sandwiches.
431
00:32:32,717 --> 00:32:33,753
They sound delicious.
432
00:32:33,787 --> 00:32:35,651
They are, but like,
never lets me do anything.
433
00:32:36,066 --> 00:32:37,626
Won't even let me take
my driver's test.
434
00:32:37,688 --> 00:32:39,759
You're his baby and he's lonely.
435
00:32:40,173 --> 00:32:41,312
Lucky me.
436
00:32:42,348 --> 00:32:43,748
Hey, Reina can I borrow
your system?
437
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:45,523
What? No way.
I just got it.
438
00:32:46,145 --> 00:32:48,388
Plus, I need to crush
Dave's high score.
439
00:32:48,664 --> 00:32:49,803
Put him in his place.
440
00:32:49,838 --> 00:32:51,816
Fair and square though.
Better not use that cheat code.
441
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,186
Like I'd need it.
442
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:54,153
Come on, let me borrow it.
443
00:32:54,187 --> 00:32:56,293
You said you had to study
tonight anyway.
444
00:32:57,432 --> 00:32:59,296
One night, nerd. One.
445
00:33:05,371 --> 00:33:07,545
Hey, I missed you last night.
What'd you get up to?
446
00:33:07,856 --> 00:33:09,409
Just chilling at Reina's.
447
00:33:09,444 --> 00:33:11,860
You two getting back together?
She's great.
448
00:33:11,894 --> 00:33:13,241
No, god dad.
449
00:33:13,275 --> 00:33:14,828
We were just playing
Weird Wednesday.
450
00:33:15,864 --> 00:33:17,072
Are you ready to hunker down
451
00:33:17,107 --> 00:33:20,627
for an all day, no-holds-barred
rematch with your old man?
452
00:33:20,662 --> 00:33:21,663
I'll pass.
453
00:33:22,595 --> 00:33:26,530
Hey, Dave, look.
I'll make you a deal.
454
00:33:26,564 --> 00:33:28,256
Hey, you beat the game first,
455
00:33:28,290 --> 00:33:30,223
I will take you
to get your license.
456
00:33:30,430 --> 00:33:32,191
What's the catch?
457
00:33:32,225 --> 00:33:33,640
Well, if I win first,
458
00:33:33,675 --> 00:33:36,298
you have to hang out with me
every Friday night.
459
00:33:38,818 --> 00:33:39,818
Deal?
460
00:33:41,338 --> 00:33:42,338
Deal.
461
00:33:44,617 --> 00:33:46,136
Did you use the cheat code?
462
00:33:46,170 --> 00:33:47,596
There's a new character
to choose from.
463
00:33:47,620 --> 00:33:49,691
I didn't do anything.
He just showed up.
464
00:33:51,244 --> 00:33:52,383
Kind of looks like Spencer.
465
00:33:52,418 --> 00:33:54,316
That asshole still has
my console.
466
00:33:54,558 --> 00:33:56,678
Well I'll text him to bring
it when he comes over.
467
00:33:57,147 --> 00:33:59,356
Thanks.
What's up with this new guy?
468
00:33:59,735 --> 00:34:01,575
It's like he doesn't want
to move or something.
469
00:34:01,737 --> 00:34:04,361
Look at his face!
So freaked out.
470
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:08,537
Come on dude, pick up.
471
00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:11,575
Yo, Spencer, where you at, man?
472
00:34:11,608 --> 00:34:13,968
Gotta come out to my house and
check out this new character.
473
00:34:16,235 --> 00:34:18,133
The freaking squirrel flew
into my face.
474
00:34:22,172 --> 00:34:23,172
Let me play.
475
00:34:28,454 --> 00:34:29,834
Spencer's gotta see this.
476
00:34:30,870 --> 00:34:32,905
God.
Every time.
477
00:34:32,941 --> 00:34:35,356
It's the same thing every time.
478
00:34:38,188 --> 00:34:39,258
Cheer up, take it.
479
00:34:42,432 --> 00:34:43,572
Keep going, you got it.
480
00:35:00,382 --> 00:35:01,935
Man, what happened
to the new guy?
481
00:35:04,421 --> 00:35:06,354
This idiot is totally
ghosting me.
482
00:35:06,975 --> 00:35:08,528
Let's go get my console.
483
00:35:13,223 --> 00:35:15,363
Dave, it's so good to see you.
Hey, Reina.
484
00:35:15,397 --> 00:35:16,685
Spencer's not answering
his phone.
485
00:35:16,709 --> 00:35:18,366
Have you seen him?
486
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,575
No, we haven't seen him.
We thought he was here.
487
00:35:20,609 --> 00:35:22,473
He was playing some old video
game this morning
488
00:35:22,508 --> 00:35:24,372
then he walked out
and didn't come home.
489
00:35:24,406 --> 00:35:27,375
He borrowed my game system
actually, can I grab it?
490
00:35:27,409 --> 00:35:28,409
Come on in, yeah.
491
00:35:41,699 --> 00:35:43,011
Hey, if you see Spencer,
492
00:35:43,045 --> 00:35:46,842
tell him to call me right away.
Moms worry.
493
00:35:46,877 --> 00:35:48,465
Sure, no problem.
494
00:35:52,676 --> 00:35:56,300
Spencer's not usually so MIA.
495
00:35:56,335 --> 00:35:57,588
He's probably hanging out
with Jessica
496
00:35:57,612 --> 00:35:58,934
and just doesn't want
his mom to know.
497
00:35:58,958 --> 00:35:59,958
Probably.
498
00:36:00,753 --> 00:36:02,193
I gotta get back
to playing the game.
499
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:03,594
My dad's on some
new forest level now
500
00:36:03,618 --> 00:36:05,275
I've never even seen before.
501
00:36:05,309 --> 00:36:06,838
It's probably getting close
to the final boss.
502
00:36:06,862 --> 00:36:09,900
You know he just wants
to spend time with you, right?
503
00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:11,488
Too much time.
504
00:36:11,522 --> 00:36:13,482
If he wins, I'm stuck with him
every Friday night.
505
00:36:13,835 --> 00:36:14,835
Woah.
506
00:36:17,701 --> 00:36:18,702
Want some ice cream?
507
00:36:19,841 --> 00:36:20,566
Damn.
508
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:21,600
Jeez.
509
00:36:40,896 --> 00:36:42,312
I'm gonna go get some chips.
510
00:36:45,729 --> 00:36:46,730
Come on.
511
00:36:51,044 --> 00:36:52,045
Fuck it.
512
00:36:56,912 --> 00:36:57,912
Alright.
513
00:37:05,438 --> 00:37:06,922
What, what the hell?
514
00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:13,757
Dave, why are you being
so weird?
515
00:37:15,414 --> 00:37:17,830
Are you on drugs?
Dude, just sit down.
516
00:37:18,555 --> 00:37:20,764
I can't. It's like someone's
controlling me.
517
00:37:20,798 --> 00:37:22,628
No one is controlling you.
518
00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:24,906
You have like, free will,
you know?
519
00:37:28,012 --> 00:37:29,428
It's not funny.
520
00:37:29,462 --> 00:37:31,395
It definitely is.
What's up with the screen?
521
00:37:31,430 --> 00:37:33,017
This some new mode?
522
00:37:33,052 --> 00:37:34,122
I put in the cheat code.
523
00:37:34,156 --> 00:37:35,088
Cheater!
524
00:37:35,123 --> 00:37:37,332
The eBay seller said it
was cursed, right?
525
00:37:37,367 --> 00:37:39,127
You believe every dumbass
on eBay?
526
00:37:39,161 --> 00:37:40,715
I do now!
527
00:37:40,749 --> 00:37:41,785
You're so high.
528
00:37:42,889 --> 00:37:47,031
Nobody wins this game.
Ever.
529
00:37:47,618 --> 00:37:50,000
Chill.
I'll just turn off the power.
530
00:37:50,828 --> 00:37:51,829
Ok.
531
00:37:58,146 --> 00:38:00,424
Don't ever do that again.
532
00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:03,082
You're in the game!
Fuck.
533
00:38:05,843 --> 00:38:06,948
Dave, come back.
534
00:38:07,397 --> 00:38:08,398
I can't!
535
00:38:12,678 --> 00:38:13,678
Yeah.
536
00:38:19,201 --> 00:38:20,375
God.
537
00:38:34,009 --> 00:38:35,009
I died.
538
00:38:35,873 --> 00:38:38,082
I think you respawned.
539
00:38:39,739 --> 00:38:41,362
What happens when
I run out of lives?
540
00:38:42,846 --> 00:38:44,813
God. Spencer.
541
00:38:45,089 --> 00:38:47,126
He ran out of lives
and now he's dead.
542
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,439
Don't... run out of lives.
543
00:38:50,474 --> 00:38:51,475
Reina!
544
00:38:55,617 --> 00:38:56,617
Whoa!
545
00:39:16,707 --> 00:39:18,709
Do something!
I don't want to die again.
546
00:39:18,916 --> 00:39:20,193
It hurts.
547
00:39:20,228 --> 00:39:22,028
Wait, if you're the player,
who's playing you?
548
00:39:35,657 --> 00:39:36,657
Come on.
549
00:39:37,176 --> 00:39:38,176
Come on, come on!
550
00:39:56,506 --> 00:39:57,679
Fuck, fuck!
551
00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:03,167
Argh!
Stupid knife store.
552
00:40:06,585 --> 00:40:08,863
God.
God, god.
553
00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:12,073
Last life. In it to win it.
554
00:40:49,248 --> 00:40:52,147
Final boss, here I come.
555
00:41:07,646 --> 00:41:08,646
What?
556
00:41:14,376 --> 00:41:15,550
Woah.
557
00:41:40,955 --> 00:41:41,956
Thank god.
558
00:41:41,990 --> 00:41:42,819
The new character's
actually Dave.
559
00:41:42,853 --> 00:41:44,303
He used the cheat code,
560
00:41:44,337 --> 00:41:46,618
got sucked into the video game,
and if you lose he'll die.
561
00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:47,754
What?
562
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,001
My god.
563
00:41:54,382 --> 00:41:55,694
I'll unplug it.
564
00:41:55,728 --> 00:41:57,350
No, trust me, that doesn't work.
565
00:41:57,385 --> 00:41:58,697
We have to win.
566
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,941
Okay. Let's do it.
567
00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:09,708
Two player?
568
00:42:11,364 --> 00:42:12,814
Ok, I'm going in.
569
00:42:12,849 --> 00:42:14,609
Mr. D, that's crazy.
570
00:42:14,644 --> 00:42:15,862
You don't know
what's gonna happen.
571
00:42:15,886 --> 00:42:17,992
Well, I know that I have to try.
572
00:42:21,409 --> 00:42:23,998
The game has never been beaten
by a single player.
573
00:42:24,723 --> 00:42:29,900
But, if we work together,
we can beat it.
574
00:42:40,117 --> 00:42:41,117
Hey, pal.
575
00:42:42,016 --> 00:42:43,742
The game is harder
than you thought?
576
00:42:44,225 --> 00:42:46,848
Hell yeah.
I can move again.
577
00:42:47,297 --> 00:42:48,401
Who's controlling me?
578
00:42:49,299 --> 00:42:52,336
I was.
We're in two player mode now.
579
00:42:55,443 --> 00:42:56,443
You ready?
580
00:42:57,376 --> 00:42:58,376
Let's do this.
581
00:43:24,748 --> 00:43:25,956
Come on, guys!
582
00:43:28,062 --> 00:43:29,201
Is that all you got?
583
00:43:32,894 --> 00:43:34,378
Eat this, ET!
584
00:43:41,316 --> 00:43:42,316
Dave!!!
585
00:43:42,490 --> 00:43:43,490
Dad!
586
00:43:45,217 --> 00:43:46,908
My god.
My god.
587
00:43:55,745 --> 00:43:59,127
I'm sorry, son.
I just wanted to protect you.
588
00:43:59,162 --> 00:44:00,162
I love you.
589
00:44:03,304 --> 00:44:04,304
You can do this.
590
00:44:05,962 --> 00:44:06,963
I love you too, Dad.
591
00:44:08,067 --> 00:44:09,067
Son!
592
00:44:09,931 --> 00:44:10,931
Come on!
593
00:44:17,421 --> 00:44:19,216
Hey, Dad, we win.
594
00:44:43,206 --> 00:44:45,380
Yes!
595
00:45:11,130 --> 00:45:14,927
So, what's next,
Mr. Driver's License?
596
00:45:16,998 --> 00:45:19,000
Just home.
Reina's coming over.
597
00:45:21,140 --> 00:45:23,177
You know what?
Why don't you go pick her up?
598
00:45:24,005 --> 00:45:27,215
Do something fun.
As friends, of course.
599
00:45:28,941 --> 00:45:30,253
I'll walk home.
600
00:45:36,535 --> 00:45:37,536
Hey, Dad.
601
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,040
Wanna play ball tomorrow
or something?
602
00:45:41,851 --> 00:45:44,267
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd love that.
38450
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